I'm Transgender... Documentation Biography

6:17

It's just terrible! For two years this has been going on! Nothing but horrible feelings! My thoughts on dysphoria aren't even clear to me!!! Shit I hate life! It's hard to even focus on a normal life cause of this... Sex gets to me a lot, cause one I don't wanna be a virgin! I wanna fuck women too! I am a dirty dog, who wants sex just like any other biological man!

We're pig headed, I wanna fuck women! I have a big boob fetish! Shit, I would do anything to grope a women's boobs, while sticking my dick into her vagina!!! NOT A STRAP ON A DICK A REAL ONE!! Is it so fucking hard to get that??!?! Without feeling bad about it! Knowing I will have to wait years for it... I mean I wanna save my virginity for a special gal, but at the same time want my dick! It wouldn't hurt me to have on and masturbate at least! I mean it will suck ass not getting the pussy! But it is better than nothing at all but dry humping stupid blankets!

I mean it feels good, but I want my dick. And what I also hate is feeling sexless! But still male, feeling like I have no sex parts! Every time I think I manage to say "I am a girl! Wait what? Um no, I am a male!" Obviously my head doesn't react good to female thoughts! I literally believe I am male! Not female at all! Just a guy that got his dick and balls cut off in the uterus! Well at least how I wish to see it!

And then people! They really don't understand they just look at us weirdly. Which I understand cause I can't even fucking understand orientation too much! Hell, I am still figuring mine out, but I am convinced I am 100 percent straight!

I am a male, nothing in my head tells me otherwise. Everytime I think I will talk in third perspective about myself... I also feel so good about looking and acting so masculine! I wanna be as manly as I can be, I feel bad when someone takes that away! Like for example I was having these relationship search ups!

I found out that I was a aggressive, dominating, manly protective boyfriend! But my girl I believe doesn't want me to be like that! I felt like shit, thinking how could she just want to take my manliness out?!?! Bitch, please! Let me be as manly as I can be at least! I swear I felt terrible and annoyed, and I will continue feeling this way if anyone or anything is trying to make me not so manly!

I like being the man in everything! I love being call sir not ma'am! It feels weird, but I never correct them I just go with the flow, since it doesn't matter since I am not close to them really. But after a while it gets hella annoying, I just want it to stop most of the time. And when my friends use feminine pronouns that's when I wanna pull out a gun and be like, "Fuck you guys I am killing myself!"

But when they get it right, oh I feel so good with myself! I am like, "Finally, you bitches get it right what a relief ohh!" It feels like a walk in the park when this happens. Things are getting okay, but I have to worry about future girlfriends and coming out! Most women I feel like would reject me and might not want anything special...

You see, I love women. I need at least one women in my life to feel more complete and distracted with myself. I can't bare the thought of most likely being single cause of this... then I need to worry about moving to a whole another trans  friendly place! Which I know will cost shit tons of money, then I worry about dates with ladies! I need that one special women as said!

I swear it is just a complicated annoying thought... I just hate having to worry so much about being transgender. And when people think they got it so bad, but they don't know. Okay now I am done till I need to update this again!

• Andre 6:32