Saints and Sparkles

by Etriax

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 67334

While poking through the Zin's systems, Kinzie Kensington discovers a member of another alien race of unicorns, apparently. One that the Zin are very interested in. When the Boss hears of this, a rescue is mounted for this strange equine...

(This fic contains spoilers of varying levels for Saints Row IV.)
---
With a full crew of Saints aboard the... Ship and the Simulation all but theirs, Kinzie Kensington and Matt Miller have had surprisingly little to do with their time. Still, with the Boss still putting the Simulation through the wringer, Kinzie has had the pleasure of poking through the Zin's systems at her leisure and looking at what she wanted to look at.

And after a particular urge to check out the Zin's prisoners, she finds a host of different alien species... Including a... unicorn. A unicorn with especially high cyber security. Anything that Zinyak wants to keep safe must be good for Saints. Wary of the ridicuousness of the prospect, the President of the United States mounts a rescue.
-
Leave some feedback!
(Featured 12/29/2014! And 01/09/2015! And 02/13/2015! And 02/27/2015! And 08/29/2015! Holy fuck!)

Published 2014-12-29 05:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-02 13:54:04 UTC

Really, Kinzie?

Kinzie Kensington took another long drink of water as she sat in her absurdly large beanbag chair, watching as her black-clad Boss exacted telekinetic revenge on an Emu that had hit her. At the very least, all the mayhem she was causing within the Simulation was giving her a window into the Zin's systems. With nothing better to do, she had since started sifting through other miscellaneous data. The series of text adventures about everyone's favorite cultured alien overlord had already ceased to amuse, after all.

She could hear arguing from above as the Boss and Johnny Gat emerged from the Simulation, idly listening to their banter.

"Damn, Boss, you drive like shit."

"I don't see you doing any better."

"Course you don't. You always drive."

"Hey, it's not my fault that that... fuck, do we have a name for those?"

"No."

"... Ball tanks? Fuck it. It's not my fault it landed ON THE CAR."

Kinzie stopped listening and focused on her work as their voices faded away, being able to hear Matt speaking on the other side of the ship. Her window was closing. She needed to hack quickly if she wanted to utilize it. Seeing little else to do with her time, she easily broke into the Zin's abduction databases.

The Boss opened her eyes to gaze upon the darkened, propaganda laden streets of virtual Sunset Park, peering out over the red grid "water" between the generic Saints surrounding the Gateway. After looking at her HUB for a moment, she crouched down, clenched her fist, and leapt high into the air, her black strategem coat fluttering behind her as she glided north. Just before landing atop a Compensator truck, the familiar, quiet three tone sound of a new objective played in her ear, followed by her Press Secretary's voice.

"I've found someone else we should free."

The President of the United States stood in the truck's trunk and surfed on it as she furrowed her brow. She had already rescued everyone she could (pronounced "any Saints she cared about") "Uh, Kinzie, we've alrea-"

"I need you to go play in traffic."

The Boss sighed. "I just did."

"Well, do it again. I need to get back into the Zin's systems to find more about her."

"Kinzie, why?"

"Because the Zin really didn't want me to find her."

The Boss grinned a little as she dismounted the Compensator and subsequently unloaded on it with her SMGs. "Which is good for us?"

Kinzie gave a non committal grunt.

"Fine. I'll go play in traffic." And off she sped, already dreading it.

Limping away from that excursion, two heartfelt birds were flipped at a passing semi before she fell onto her back on the pavement to be miserable for a few fleeting seconds. That tone sounded in her ear once more, and with grit teeth, the President tried to get the first word in.

"KIinnezeidey- ... "KAInNoZtIhEe-"

A long pause followed as the women awkwardly waited for the other to speak. A long enough pause to allow the leader of the Saints to get back on her feet, check her HUB's "cache" income, and to steal from a few pedestrians before Kinzie finally chimed in.

"Awkward. I found another rift for you to explore. Go."

"Kinzie, who are we doing this for?"

A brief pause. "I'll tell you in a bit."

As a marker came up in her vision, the Boss began dashing towards the new rift, but continued speaking. "Kinzie, why?"

"Because what I have looks like a wild goose chase."

"So this could just be a waste of time."

"Uh-huh." came Kinzie's absent reply.

"Figures."

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Twilight Sparkle screamed as she dashed through the streets of Ponyville, her eyes wide and her mane ragged as her hooves pounded dirt. Behind her, a veritable army of ponies, pursuing the unicorn closely and slowly gaining ground on her. "I didn't do anything!"

The horde did not respond. Nothing new. She attempted to teleport away, but it came as no surprise to her that the effort was wasted. As was the concentration, as she barely had time to dodge an incoming, divebombing pegasus swooping in from the front. A familiar divebombing pegasus.

Rainbow Dash wore a sickeningly devious grin as she began to chase the bookworm, her hooves outstretched and her rainbow mane blowing behind her in the wind. "You're goin' down, egghead!!" she yelled, getting low to the ground to try to sweep Twilight's legs out from underneath her.

Twilight jumped to try to dodge the attack, but one of Rainbow's wings caught her front left leg, making her spin and fall with a loud grunt from the victim. And as she scrambled to get back up, her front right leg was suddenly bound by an expertly thrown lasso and very harshly tightened and tugged upon.

"Applejack, s-stop! I'm your friend! Please!!" the librarian pleaded, weakly casting her gaze upwards at the rapidly approaching mare as she also tried to get back up. She swiftly averted her eyes, however... the wrathful expression upon the farmer's face was painful enough to see without the aching muscles and severe ropeburn.

Twilight lunged out of the way just in time for AJ's own lunge to meet her purple streaked tail, trying to sprint away again before the lasso tripped her again. The pounding of hooves quickly closed in on her and Twilight sighed defeatedly, shutting her eyes and resigning to this fate. The last thing she felt was intense, intense heat.

"Kinzie, what now?" the Boss quipped as she stepped into a Friendly Fire, browsing the inventory and debating what to spend her hard earned cashe on.

"We're doing this for a unicorn."

"A... unicorn."

"Her name is Twilight Sparkle," Kinzie began. "Apparently Zinyak abducted her from her home planet because she's an obstacle for his next invasion."

"Like with Gat."

"Yes. That's all I've got, though. Why don't you go blow some shit up?"

The Boss chuckled briefly. "See, Kinzie, if you talk more like that-"

"No," Kinzie flatly interrupted.

Twilight Sparkle, despite being out of breath, was doing her best to hold it as she hid in a cupboard within Sugarcube Corner, listening to the angry cries, death threats, and commands coming from outside. Truthfully, she was amazed that she managed to find a place to hide at all. A dark, hastily cleared kitchenware cupboard wasn't at all ideal, but it gave the exhausted unicorn some degree of respite from the senseless, inexplicable violence.

She kept a sharp ear out for movement as she allowed herself to pant every now and then, her tear-stained face buried in her front legs. "... Why is this happening..." she uttered in a nearly inaudible tone, shutting her eyes for the first time in a long while. "Why is this happening... why me...? What did I do to deserve this..."

"Did you look in Sugarcube Corner?"

It was faint, but she definitely heard it, making her tense right back up as she heard hooves approaching the sweet shop. She held her breath and listened as ponies began ransacking the bakery, struggling to keep herself quiet. Twilight wanted to cry and scream and beg for this nightmare to end, but the rational part of her told he-

The cupboard was flung open forcefully and without warning, making the unicorn cry out in terror. Pinkie Pie, mane deflated and eyes full of murder, clutched a dirty knife in her teeth. "Thehe hou ahe..." the terrifying party pony uttered with her mouth full, immediately rearing her head back to plunge the crumb covered blade into Twilight's side.

The Boss grinned at the utter sea of vehicular skeletons she had so deftly created, putting away her RPG and sprinting off into a long tunnel while waiting for Kinzie to start talking. For a moment, as she plowed through any other cars unfortunate to be in her way, she had to wonder just who this "unicorn" really was. Somehow she had to wonder if this was all some sort of trick being played by her bored Press Secretary. And speaking of whom...

"I found her. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and s-"

"The more you tell me, the more this sounds like a really shitty joke," the President interrupted, seeming very much wary.

"I know. Head to the Broken Shillelegh. CID's waiting for you."

The leader of the Saints could only sigh as she changed course to head towards the oft visited sports bar.

"I am surprised you are not objecting more strongly," CID commented as the black clad woman stood near the now glowing doorway, getting her to turn around.

"What, you think this is bullshit, too?" she quipped with a raised eyebrow.

"I do not. Twilight Sparkle has been a captive of the Zin for 1 year, 3 months, 12 days, 43 minutes, and 18 seconds. If freed, she will likely prove a useful ally," CID replied earning a deep sigh from the one who helped free him.

"And how the fuck is a unicorn going to be a "useful ally"?" the President of the United States retorted, adjusting her Matrix style shades that hid her striking red eyes while in the Simulation. "How the fuck can a thing with hooves help us?!"

"You will see," came CID's monotone as the Boss shook her head, muttering violences and musings as her form disappeared into the bright white light of the Broken Shillelegh's front entrance.

Author's Note

I imagine that exploring a pony's deepest fears is nothing new, but that's what the Simulations do; make their occupants relive their worst nightmares endlessly, driving them to insanity and submission.

Leave me some feedback! I'm hoping my dwindling technological options won't keep me down long.

Huh... What do you know.

It didn't much surprise the Boss that she found herself in a ruin, though the village it seemed to be got her attention. What wasn't completely reduced to rubble looked like something out of one of her favorite storybooks from her childhood. No nostalgia, though, which she found disappointing.

The President found herself near a river, close to what might have been a bookshop or library and the remains of some other buildings. The river flowed gently behind her, only occasionally making itself audibly known. There was no wind, which the human did find odd. Even in virtual Steelport, there was a gentle breeze to blow around her voluminous brown hair or long black coat. But here, there was nothing. The air was still, and the lighting was dim, despite the sun hanging directly overhead in the cloudless sky.

The first thing she did was jump. Unsurprisingly, she only rose a foot or two off the ground before landing. "No powers. Of course." She reached for her favorite SMGs and pulled them out to hold them up, looking around the place for stuff to shoot. And while she couldn't see anything, she could hear what sounded like STAG's last day in Steelport in the distance; angry cries and sounds of fighting.

"Welcome to Ponyville, Boss," Kinzie chimed from the unicorn's simulation's audio system.

"Ponyville? Holy shit, it really is My Tiny Horsey." the President muttered.

"You read that, too?"

"Yeah."

There was a brief pause. "Huh. Follow the screaming."

They'd found her again. They had found her hiding place almost immediately and she was now running for her life. Not only had Ponyville's residents found her, but her friends AND Fluttershy's animals were now hot on her tail.

"Come back, Twilight!" she could hear Fluttershy callng from behind her in her sweet, yet amplified tone. "Mr. Bear is really hungry!"

"Fluttershy!" Twilight screamed tearfully, not daring to look back at the mob in favor of watching for Rainbow Dash's occasional divebombs. "I'm your friend! I didn't do anything! Please, help me!"

No answer. There never was.

"Welcome to Ponyville, Boss." Twilight jumped at the unfamiliar, disembodied, feminine sounding voice that seemed to come from nowhere. "You read that, too?"

"Hello?!?!" Twilight cried out hoarsely, taking a hard right to dash towards the endlessly burning remains of her library.

"Huh," it said again. "Follow the screaming." Follow the screaming? ... Twilight's hither-to dispaired, exhausted expression began to give way to a hopeful ghost of a smile. Whatever that voice was, it wasn't talking to her... maybe somepony had come to help! Unwilling to let this opportunity slip away, she began screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!"

The Boss ran through the ruined streets of Ponyville, SMGs clutched in each hand as she followed the sounds of screaming as told. "So, who am I looking for? A horse covered in rainbows?" she asked incredulously, grinning a smartass grin.

"No, that one'll try to kill you. Twilight Sparkle is short, with purple fur," Kinzie replied with a tinge of urgency to her voice. "She's being chased by the entire town. You can't miss her. Now hurry up! If she dies, the simulation will reset."

The President picked up the pace of her running, rounding a corner to see a burning tree, a line of burning buildings, and a large mob of... colorful ponies wearing angry expressions and chasing one lavender coated unicorn. "... I'm not even surprised anymore," the self titled "puckish rogue" muttered as she brought those black, laser pointing SMGs to bear on the crowd and opened fire.

As she heard that weird voice from the sky mention her by name, Twilight screamed louder, ignoring the rest of the entity's sentence as she picked up the pace. It was true! Somepony was finally here to save her! All she had to do was keep running and screaming long enough to be found. Or to be caught and murdered again, a pessimistic part of her chimed in.

Dodging another Rainbow Dash dive, the unicorn lowered her head as she made a hard left turn around a corner to try and grow the gap between her and her mob of pursuers. She risked a look back at the band of ponies that chased her, seeing some of them tripping over one another as they scrambled after the fleeing librarian. She had learned to take a little bit of pleasure in seeing that. In a place that loved to kill her, it was about the only pleasure she had.

Twilight turned her gaze forward to keep watch on where she was going, and nearly stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing what stood near the burning ruins of her home.

It was a creature she had never seen before. A creature with pale white skin visible only on its face, and at the ends of two of its appendages. Long, brown hair hung around its shoulders, and a pair of small black shades covered its small eyes. Its frame was slim, with the only exceptions being two odd mounds that protruded from its upper torso. It wore all black clothing; a long black coat that opened in the front for an equally black turtleneck, with sleeves that extended all the way to the... claws on the ends of its arms, leaving the tips of five little claws exposed. It wore plain black pants and some kind of black boots she had never seen before. In both of its claws, it clutched a long black object with a beam of thin red light pointing from the end of each. And both of them were being pointed in her direction.

Twilight didn't dare to stop to examine this thing, however, just sprinting in its direction. Then those weird objects in its claws began to light up at the end repeatedly, each flash being accompanied by a loud noise. She equated it to the sound of many metallic... playing cards being repeatedly, rapidly flicked by the spokes of a fast moving carriage. If the sound was amplified many times over. It was loud, and grew louder the closer she got.

Upon reaching the stranger, the bookworm looked back over her shoulder and subsequently stopped running; something she hadn't voluntarily done in a long time without hiding. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Ponyville's murderous residents were being struck by something moving too fast for her to see, and anypony that got hit both released a spray of blood and collapsed in a heap of pain and voltage. "... S-Sweet Celestia..." she uttered, taking note of the other Element Bearers as they took hits and cried out in agony. Despite all the attrocities they had inflicted on her time and time again, Twilight still found a way to feel nauseous from the graphic scene before her.

As she fought her stomach, she stood and panted a little ways behind the unknown being, unsure of what to do or say.

The President of the United States of America had learned to love several new things since she entered the Simulation. She had never lost her love for sniping, and indeed, the "cache" bonus she got from popping heads in the Simulation had only made it sweeter. The massive explosions caused by her favorite little pistol, knockback aside, never stopped being entertaining, satisfying, or effective. And whenever she saw a large group of people, she could never resist whipping out her SMGs and unloading on them, watching them collapse into electrified heaps regardless of whether or not they deserved it.

These... ponies... definitely filled that last one. Watching them fall over each other and die brought a fiendish grin to the Boss' lips, making her chuckle and chortle as she unloaded on them. As she sprayed hot, electrified lead into the equine horde, however, she could hear the telltale clicking that warned of her dwindling ammo. And as soon as they clicked empty, the Boss ejected the spent clips and reloaded with incredibly practiced ease. Before they could get any more than a few feet closer, she was already firing again.

A bit of movement in the sky caught her eye and she glanced in its direction, seeing a rainbow-y streak diving right for her and the appropriately colored unicorn she was protecting.

"S-Sweet Celestia..." she heard this Twilight Sparkle emit quietly, now finding herself, again, wondering about the usefulness of this equine as - in the veritable blink of an eye, she swapped her SMGs out for her pump-action shotgun and trained it on the speeding pegasus, waiting only a second before pulling the trigger.

Twilight's more curious side had to marvel at the ease with which this strange being fought, though was quickly taken out of said marveling when she spotted Rainbow Dash on a course directly for them. "Look out!" she cried, pointing a hoof towards the cyan mare as she also saw the stranger pull out a longer object - this time covered in a purple plaid pattern - and point it right at Rainbow.

A deafening BANG issued forth from the object and her flyer friend screamed out in pain. Blood erupted from her face as buckshot met speeding pony skull, not only reducing the latter to a messy, chunky red shower, but also sending what remained flying into the distance. Twilight turned her head and shut her eyes, fighting the urge to vomit while hearing more loud bangs. She could hear more loud cries as the strange being unloaded on the rest of them.

Twilight shut her eyes, fell to the ground, and covered her ears, whimpering pathetically as she silently begged for it all to stop.

"Hm. Chipped a nail," the Boss quipped in a bored tone, despite her grin, turning the shotgun towards the thinner crowd and opening fire. It certainly helped to push them back as it sent unicorns, pegasi, and boring, normal ponies flying in a spectacular fashion. In fact, as the tenth blast scattered the aggressors away, she realized she could count those still alive on her fingers. Away went the shotgun and out came her Saint-ified alien pistols, dispatching those remaining while mimicking the noises they made. "Pew. Pew pew pew~"

Nineteen pews later, the town was still and bloodied. The corpses of the entire populace were strewn all over the street ungracefully, their blood dying the tightly packed dirt red. Her hand drifted idly to where she kept her H.M.D. (Holdout of Mass Destruction), contemplating blasting the largest pile of bodies before deciding to save the charge and forgo it.

"That's all of 'em. What now?"

"I'm working on your way out, but something's keeping me from finishing up. It looks like there's one pony that holds the Simulation together. Kill it," came Kinzie's voice from the sky, followed briefly by Pierce in the background expressing his confusion over that sentence. "Oh, and you should probably see if Twilight's okay."

The President sighed and turned around to see her charge cowering pitifully on the ground a few feet behind her, hooves over her ears, eyes shut tightly, and many a whimper and wish emitting from the terrified purple equine. She sighed and turned to walk towards the unicorn, wondering what to say before winging it.

Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt something tap her left flank once, twice, three times, not having the energy to really do so. What she DID do was scream and try to scramble away from the one whom had saved her. She ended up tripping over her own hooves, though, and took a tumble while managing to not go anywhere.

She raised her head from the dirt and looked back to see the bipedal being standing over her, wearing what was either a confused or annoyed expression as it looked down at her. It was difficult to tell with the sunglasses. "... W-W-Who are you...?" Twilight stammered as she panted heavily, looking up at her savior with renewed fear. Renewed fear that came from the sight of slaughter.

She could see dozens upon dozens of dead ponies, and could recognize almost all of them. The fact that this creature was capable of such terrible feats was now hitting her and hitting her hard. Regardless of how it had just saved her life, it had also just mowed down the entire population of Ponyville, herself, young, and animals not included. "Please don-... don't hurt me... I'll do anything..." she begged, shutting her eyes as her entire body quaked with fear.

In response, the being looked down at her with a thoughtful expression before crouching down to be more at her head level. Even if Twilight was still on the ground. "Wasn't planning on it," it said, its voice sounding feminine and full of confidence. "You're Twilight Sparkle?"

Slightly surprised, but happy to know she wasn't about to die again, the unicorn shifted around to sit on her haunches and be at the same head level with the crouching creature. She got a peek behind those shades as it looked down briefly, getting a peek at its absurdly small eyes. They were a rich red. "... I... I am..."

It... No, she smirked a slight smirk and nodded. "I'm the President of the United States," she replied, her tone again full of confidence and pride. "I'm getting you out of here."

Those last six words made her eyes widen, forgetting immediately about the lack of a given name as tears came to her violet eyes. Unable to help herself, she launched herself at the "President of the United States", wrapping her forelegs around her torso in a tight hug. "Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" she cried, starting to also cry as the unexpected hug knocked the bipedal being onto her back.

"Whoaa!" the Boss cried as the unicorn tackled her to the ground for a hug, very nearly punching Twilight in the face purely by reflex before realizing that the unicorn was only hugging her, sobbing into her chest. Again, she very nearly punched the unicorn for that, but she didn't want to ruin her chances of rescuing the violet equine. So she just dealt with the fact that a crying purple unicorn was sobbing into her breasts and hesitantly put a hand in her mane. She couldn't help a slight smile as she did so, acknowledging her inner child's desire to have a pony of her own.

It didn't take long for the Boss to realize that this wasn't the time, however. "Uhhhhh... I'm gonna need you to let go now..." she stated awkwardly, trying to pry the purple equine off of her. It was surprisingly easy, as Twilight let go and sniffled.

"I'm sorry..." she uttered in a dejected tone.

Many had questioned the leader of the Third Street Saints' morality. Many had thought she was a heartless bitch with the capacity for kindness of a tiny rock. Many had seen her as a sociopath with an unquenchable thirst for death and destruction. Many had continued bragging about the time they saw her streaking that one time in Sunset Park. Mostly the first two, and for good reason.

But when the President saw Twilight Sparkle sitting there, sniffling and weeping with her head down, her heart melted. "... Ah, fuck it. C'mere," she conceded, getting back up and shuffling forward to pull the purple pony into a less awkward hug. The purple pony was all too willing to return the favor, clinging to the human as if letting go would mean death.

"Awwwwwwww..." came a faint uttering from Pierce, whom had apparently been watching beside an oddly silent Kinzie.

"As adorable as that is," Matt Miller's English accent interjected suddenly, sounding like he had just finished a Nyteblade squee, startling the Boss and scaring the hell out of Twilight Sparkle. "You need to get moving. I can see an army headed your way."

Twilight hadn't expected this creature to react in such a way. Rejecting her, then hugging her again was nothing original, but this... alien... She wouldn't have guessed.

Then came the voice from the sky... male this time, and seeming like he was containing himself. He spoke of an army. "... Oh no..." she uttered softly, now her turn to retract from the hug. "Oh no... no no noooooOOO this is bad!" Her voice was fearful, nearly panicked.

The President raised an eyebrow and Twilight let out a nervous, stressed whine. "They always come when I've lived long enough... and... and... she comes with them." Memories of such events flooded her mind and made her shudder.

"She?" the Boss repeated, pulling her SMGs from her coat and aiming it down the street, away from the mounds of dead simulant equines. She could already hear marching coming from that direction. To her annoyance, no answer came from the unicorn she was supposed to be saving.

"Boss!" Kinzie suddenly chimed in. "That pony I told you about. She's coming, and she's pissed!"

"So what else is new?!" the President yelled, electing to reload and put away her SMGs in favor of producing her sniper rifle seemingly from the Aether and looking through the scope. Brilliant timing, too, as the army came into view; a mass of normal ponies, unicorns, and pegasi clad in shiny golden armor and wielding various sharp and pointy weapons. The Boss clicked her tongue and fired. She could practically taste the "cache" she'd get from all of these ponies.

"There's data clusters all over this Simulation, too. Get them. You'll need your powers," Kinzie pressed, and the Boss nodded, reproducing her SMGs before grabbing Twilight's hair briefly and giving it a brief tug.

"Come on, we gotta go."

Twilight was lost. These voices, the sudden appearance of another weapon in her savior's claws, this "Simulation", data clusters, she was completely lost. But regardless, when her bipedal savior urged her to follow, she nodded and obliged, following the President between a couple of buildings to see her sprinting towards an odd collection of light.

Upon touching it, the light disappeared and the creature grinned. Suddenly, she turned around and sprinted towards her... VERY quickly. "Waaaah!" she yelled as the stranger scooped her up, hanging on tightly as she could while the Boss zipped around town.

The Boss found it surprisingly easy to super sprint with a unicorn clinging to her, managing to shift Twilight onto her back as she collected as many clusters as she could find. "So... what's your story?" she asked casually as she collected a fourth cluster, bending down mid sprint to spring into the air. She could see everything from up there... Including a giant horse.

She could hear Twilight gasp as she saw the horse, white furred and with a flowing mane and tail of many colors. "... P-Princess Celestia..." she stammered, making the leader of the Saints both grit her teeth and grin at the name.

"Is that your 'she'?" The unicorn could be felt nodding. "Riiiight... fuck." She could now see why she needed her powers. She couldn't imagine taking down that huge winged unicorn with bullets. Paul was able to shrug off rockets and bullets, and it had taken a possession of the statue of Joe Whatshisface to kill the marketing monstrosity. This thing? "Kinzie, can I nuke it from orbit?" she quipped hopefully as she collected another cluster of clusters. "Just keep getting clusters."

"Twilight Sparkle! Come and face your punishment!" a loud, booming, feminine voice called out, making the Boss' passenger cringe and try to make herself as small as possible.

The President of the United Stated grinned a slightly nervous grin. "This should be fun."

Several minutes went by as the unicorn hung on to the Boss' back, watching as she ran into many odd floating clusters of light. Perhaps these were data clusters? Regardless of what they were, she remained silent for a long while, but finally spoke up after roughly the 40th cluster.

"... Miss President?" she finally said after all of that silence, no longer crying.

The biped looked over her shoulder at Twilight, her brown hair, getting in the mare's face. "What is it?"

"... What are we going to do?" she continued, seeming very unsure.

The President grinned, looking back down at her arms before thrusting her right one at a nearby wall. As she did so, a blast of ice flew from it and impacted on the wall with the sound of dozens of shattering icicles. "I'm gonna kill Little Sunbutt."

Under any other circumstances, Twilight Sparkle would've been angry with this creature... But after being murdered by her mentor so many times, it didn't even occur to her. "But how?! She's... well, Princess Celestia!"

With absolute confidence and a raise of her SMGs, the biped looked back at Twilight and answered. "Easy. I shoot her until she dies."

Author's Note

Next time on Saints and Sparkles! The President of the United States versus Princess Celestia!

I apologize to those of you who picked up on the accidental upload from earlier. Stupid error on my part. I remade the chapter so that any of you who were watching this could get your notification.

I did my best to make this chapter as authentic as possible, like it could be an actual mission from the game. I hope I did well with portraying the Boss, though considering how little we know about them officially, I think I can get away with doing this.

Leave a comment!

The Boss vs. Little Sunbutt

The look on Twilight's face was priceless. That look of "are you fucking insane?" or "I can't believe you're serious." It was a look that never stopped being amusing to the leader of the Saints. And with big, expressive eyes like hers, Twilight's expression was nothing short of glorious. But before this unicorn could try to object, the Boss was off at full speed, forcing the equine to hang on first.

From the ground, though, their foe looked a lot more imposing, never mind majestic. That white coat, with the endlessly flowing, multicolored mane, and just... her shape... She didn't quite have the words to describe who she was about to kill, but she wouldn't have minded a minute or two more to watch this "princess." Not that she would have tried.

"Boss!" Kinzie's voice rang out suddenly and harshly, getting the human to slow down and hide behind a wall. "You need to watch out for Twilight. If she dies, the Simulation will reset and trap you!"

Twilight could hear everything that this voice was saying, and it did - in fact - worry her. She didn't want anypony... or whatever the "President" was to get hurt on her account. Even being well within her rights to be selfish, Twilight began to wonder if there was a better way.

She could offer herself up... but that would lead to her death and would trap her savior anyway. She could try to convince her to leave, but Twilight didn't exactly like the idea of continuing the vicious cycle of delaying her own murder.

Her train of thought was interrupted when the President shifted her off of her back, sighing as she peeked around a corner. Twilight hesitated briefly, then took a look herself: nopony there.

"I got that," the biped stated, crossing her arms. "Got any other advice for me?"

"Don't die."

"You're such a great help."

"I know. Good luck."

Twilight's curiosity was now screaming for answers about who the President was talking to, and why she could also hear it, but she put it aside. "Miss President?" she spoke up instead, getting a mostly blank look from the creature. "Is there something I can do to help? I... can't use my magic, but I can't just sit idly by and let you..." The unicorn paused and grimaced, like the words she needed were bitter on her tongue. "... fight Princess Celestia on your own..."

The Boss raised an eyebrow as this appropriately purple, slightly cute, previously frightened unicorn offered her help. Now, she had never been great at reading people. She'd been good enough to keep herself and her crew alive in the past, but she could never really do it well. Hell, in Steelport, Viola DeWynter's offer of assistance was immensely risky and she later realized such.

Regardless, the way Twilight Sparkle struggled to say that wasn't missed. Twilight obviously found the concept alien and terrible, yet was bearing it anyway.

"... Good question," she admitted aloud, though she stopped brainstorming as soon as she heard hoofsteps nearby. She pressed herself against the wall and made the unicorn follow suit. The Boss lowered her voice to a whisper. "Just stay close to me for now. Watch my back, and if I tell you to run, you fucking run. Got it?"

Twilight nodded and audibly swallowed, starting to watch the area vigilantly as the stepping got closer. The President pulled out her SMGs and aimed them forward as she peered around that corner again.

Her guns poked a pony right in the nose. Simply on reflex, she pulled the trigger and reduced its head to mush. The sound of gunfire, of course, drew the rest of the army's attention like zombies to a screaming idiot.

"Time to kick this fucker off!" the Boss shouted with a grin, reloading her SMGs and spinning them once for style before beginning to unload on the horde of shiny armor-clad ponies.

Twilight ran over those instructions in her head as the President suddenly began firing, trying to keep herself calm, focused, and alert. The sounds of death just around the corner - never mind the volume of the biped's weapons - weren't making it easy, but she'd make do. She spared a glance up at the black clad female to see her backing up. Immediately, Twilight began to back away from that corner, fearing that the army was gaining ground.

And she was right. A few seconds later, the building they were hiding behind just a few seconds before had its back wall knocked out, ponies with spears and swords charging towards the furless creature. "Look out!" she cried in warning, seeing her savior immediately react by throwing one of those icy blasts somewhere between the advancing groups. As soon as it impacted on the ground, anypony within about ten yards was frozen solid in a thin layer of perfectly formed ice.

The President then put more of... whatever she was putting into her weapons in and fired at several of the immobilized equines, and she watched as they all began to shatter in a deadly domino effect. Truthfully, Twilight would have cheered if she wasn't constantly watching for more attackers or scared for her life.

The Boss was disappointed. Her Blasts had had more effect back in virtual Steelport. That Blast should have frozen both lines entirely. Then again, she had only collected enough clusters for Kinzie to recreate her powers in Twilight's Simulation, so she would have to deal.

Not that it mattered. The ponies kept coming, a swarm of spears flying through the air and spectacularly missing their mark. The human jumped back and grit her teeth, turning around to grab her unicorn charge and run. Ignoring the bookworm's surprised protests, she left the equine army in the dust as she took off towards the north.

After a few seconds of sprinting, she stopped and let Twilight down before producing her EM Railgun from her "radial." She took aim quickly and squeezed the trigger, hot, green blasts firing from her preferred rifle. The ranks of the advancing army began to very slowly thin out as she scored many a headshot, ignoring the curious expression of the unicorn next to her. If she didn't know any better, she'd say this little pony had never seen a gun before.

As her last shot left her rifle and she ejected her spent magazine, though, she got a better look at her opposition... the shining armor and weapons of the attacking ponies made it impossible to tell just how many of them there were. And more of them were streaming out of alleyways still to join the huge mass of their Princess' forces.

And the Princess wasn't far behind them, though was obviously taking care not to step on her troops. The Boss pulled the bolt on her railgun and opened fire on the Princess herself. The hot, green bolts of railgun-y plasma tore through the air and hit the aesthetically pleasing equine. However, on impact, the shots made a previously hidden blood red shield ripple against the winged unicorn's body, the ripple traveling the length of her body and vanishing in its own wake.

The Boss frowned. This was a new one, and it could only mean two things. Either Zinyak decided that a red shield was more fashionable, or this was an upgraded version. Jugding by the faint cursing coming out over the audio system, courtesy of her Press Secretary, she wisely went with the latter.

Knowing that Kinzie was probably working on a fix, she tried the next logical thing. The President yelled a hasty "back up!" to her unicorn charge before crouching a little and thrust her arms downwards. As she did so, fire arced from her body, the blazing Buff setting some ponies on fire while Twilight mysteriously and inconspicuously remained not-on-fire.

The human took aim and began unloading on the steadily advancing Princess, her Buff helping to deter most of the anciently armed and armored ponies while her now incendiary railgun blasts battered down the white equine's shield to set her ablaze.

Except that was the ideal scenario, and only half happened. The shield remained. It also held up against a couple of icy blasts and no less than eight far flung ~~foot~~hoofsoldiers. "Shit."

That one little curse from the President told Twilight all she needed to know. Even with the frightening power that she was exhibiting (the unicorn had idly compared her abilities to a battle magic demonstration she had seen as a filly), the massive Princess was advancing unfazed.

She quietly cursed her lack of magic, and inability to assist. That she couldn't do anything to assist her savior in any way other than a second set of eyes frustrated her greatly, to the point where she began to pace and stomp the ground around her. The noisy battle began to take a backseat in her mind as she contemplated her situation. And, moreover, began to distract herself from her own peril by wondering about the "President of the United States."

She assumed that this "United States" was a country of some kind, though didn't recognize the name of it anywhere. Twilight wondered about Ponyville, too. This obviously wasn't her own Ponyville, since she had been getting butchered for the last... the last..

The Saints colored pony bowed her head a little sadly; she had lost track of time rather quickly once that huge, bipedal creature had kidnapped her and put her in this place... Come to think of it, the President seemed somewhat similar to her captor, discounting gender, size, skin texture and the like... Was her savior the same species?

What was that species? Where was it from? Where did the President learn to fight so well? How did her weapons work? Where the heck did she keep all of them? Did they have hidden holsters that she couldn't see or did she have some kind of PInkie Pie-ish ability to produce things from seemingly nowhere? Why was she wearing so many bits of clothing? Why was there hair only on the top of her head? What was with those lumps on her chest?

These were just some of the questions that Twilight's now half-idle mind produced. So lost in thought was she that she didn't take notice of anything around her until her bipedal savior sped over to her, picked her up, and began running away. Princess Celestia had nearly stomped on them, and a miriad of ponies lay dead near her feet while the army's remaining force still charged.

"So, it's not working," the Boss uttered irately, speeding towards the other side of Ponyville while readying her sniper rifle from her virtual weapon radial for use when they would stop. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke again. "Kinzie, you uh... you having some problems up there?"

"Oooh, I'd say so..." a male voice with a classy accent drawled over the audio system, making the human growl frustratedly.

"Dammit, Zinyak!"

"How do you like your equine opponents?" the Zin emperor continued with unhidden smugness.

"Oh, they're great!" she lied. "So easy to kill!"

"Excellent! Then I trust you'll have no troubles whatsoever. Ta taaa~"

"-ODDAMMIT! BOSS!" Kinzie's voice rang out loudly over the audio system loudly, getting both females to grimace.

"Kinzie, stop raping my ears!" the Boss yelled back, receiving a pause before Kinzie replied.

"Oh, there you are. Zinyak upgraded his shielding a bit. Turns out there's no way to take it down," the former fed said in a remarkably calm tone of voice.

"You're awfully level headed about it," the leader of the Saints commented lowly, ignoring the now panicked noises Twilight was making about the news.

"Oh, no, I'm absolutely livid. I need you and Twilight to just stay alive while I find a way around it."

"Easy enough," came the black clad woman's response, skidding to a halt at the other end of town while Celestia's army and the mare herself came into view. Her sniper rifle was leveled at the mob of Roman legion-esque ponies, peering through the scope. At this distance, even the maximum magnification level did little for her aim, but still, the first bullet found purchase squarely in the jaw of a generic pegasus.

A little chuckle escaped the Boss' lips. "I always win my arguments," she emitted with a grin as Twilight slipped off of her shoulders, mumbling something about her hearing. Again and again she fired, picking off the giant white horse's troops in rapid succession. Regardless of the rate of fire and how... inaccurate she was actually being, most of her shots hit something, thanks to how clustered up the ponies were.

Fourteen shots later, she ejected her clip and pressed a fresh clip into its place, pulling the bolt before grinning. She thrust her hands downward to use her Buff power, lightning replacing fire as it arced out a few yards from where she stood (still leaving Twilight Sparkle unharmed somehow). Bracing herself forward and tightening her hold on the rifle's grip and foregrip, she began pulling the trigger as fast as her well trained finger would allow.

She was no world record shooter, but she didn't need to be. As the electrified bullets hit their marks, voltage began quickly frying ponies within their armor as it spread among the ranks. And seeing no reason to let up, she slammed another clip into the receiver and tugged the bolt hard to resume the rapid fire.

Another fourteen rounds and at least three dozen more dead ponies later, she ejected another spent clip, reloading once more and pulling the trigger. Only one shot fired, and the rest of the pulls just resulted in clicks. "... Awww... I was having fun..." the Boss expressed, switching back to her railgun and beginning to open fire.

Twilight's ears were still ringing from her savior's rapid firing weapon's discharges, but she was certain she'd heard the President say that she was "having fun." Her mind began swimming with moral and logical objections to the concept. Which wasn't unheard up at home, mind you. There were some truly bloodthirsty ponies out there, and the Griffons were notorious for hunting for sport, or even endorsing to-the-death gladitorial fights in the heart of their empire.

But the way the President said it seemed somewhat childish - like a filly being disappointed in a toy's malfunction. And that disturbed her... She was finding herself wondering about her savior now...

"M-Miss President?" she piped up as the biped swore and swapped one weapon out for another. It must be that thing that Pinkie does, she idly noted. "After you get me out, what's going to happen to me?"

The Boss heard that nervous question only because her railgun was quieter than most of her other weapons. Even still, she didn't even look at the unicorn, prioritizing murder time over questions.

Still, though, "Miss President"... she had forgotten how fucking awesome it was to be called that (or "Madame President" by some).

"When you get out, I'm gonna come to get you," she answered, not noticing the quizzical expression the mare now wore in place of her anxious one.

"From where?" she quipped again.

The Boss threw a green Blast of some kind that caused some of the ponies to start attacking their allies. "Zinyak's ship. You'll be naked and slimy and probably nauseous. It'll pass, though."

The human woman could now see Twilight in her peripheral vision, her expression unsure. "... Are... Are you going to... to kill me?" the unicorn asked, this time in a voice that she barely heard.

"I thought I said I wasn't planning on it. I did, right Kinzie?" she responded.

"Busy," Kinzie shot back, the furious tapping of keys clearly audible while she spoke.

"I know, I know..." Twilight emitted, now wearing a very nervous smile as she tapped the ground with her front right hoof. In different circumstances, the leader of the Saints might have interpreted such body language quite differently. "I mean... after I get out... You said you were having fun wh-... when you were killing those ponies..."

Before the Boss could reply or defend herself or preemptively call herself a "puckish rogue" like she now wanted to, she saw fit to grab Twilight again and start running first. "Before you call me a sociopath, I like 'puckish rogue' better." This statement didn't do anything to calm the unicorn's nerves, eliciting a sigh from the President. "No, I'm not gonna kill you. If I wanted to kill you, I would've done it already."

"... Oh...Okay..." Twilight hid her eyes behind the Boss' voluminous hair.

Ten minutes had passed since that conversation and things were looking... awkward. The Boss was now out of railgun ammo with no chance of a reload. She had her pistols, SMGs, shotgun and H.M.D., but they weren't suited to their situation.

That ammo hadn't been spent in vain, however. The army that Princess Celestia commanded before was now no more than a dozen ponies. Ponies that persisted in charging at the woman and the mare blindly.

Twilight Sparkle hadn't said a thing to her beyond the occasional warning or the even more occasional unintelligible mumbling. Kinzie had been silent, too. That worried the Boss more than anything. Eventually, though, the silence was broken by Kinzie's British hacker partner (she imagined Kinzie cringing like a bitch at that last word).

"I have good news and bad news," he began, though was cut off by the President's humorless interjection.

"I need good news, Matt."

"... Right," Matt uttered awkwardly. "Princess Celestia -" The way he uttered that name held respect. "- is unkillable. Buuuut... we have a way around it. I've constructed another Simulation. I think you'll like it. I need you to get the Princess back to the town square. When you're there, we'll change the Simulation you're in into something that she can be killed in."

"And this took so long because...?" the Boss interjected with a raised eyebrow, noting idly that Twilight seemed fascinated and confused by their conversation.

"Hey, putting together a whole new Simulation where Celestia can be killed isn't as easy as it sounds. Kinzie and I worked as quickly as we could... That, and I wanted Mister Keith David to help with something."

"Keith? What did he do?"

Matt chuckled to himself and the Boss heard the sound of a perfect hi-five in the background. "Oh, I think you'll like it, Boss..."

The human female couldn't hide her big, excited grin. After seeing what Matt could do with a simulation (the recreation of Genkibowl he made still amazed her), she couldn't wait.

"What is he talking about?" Twilight uttered in her ear as she made a sharp left turn and leaped into the air to glide towards the town square and its objective marker.

"Matt found a way to kill the royal glue factory," she replied with undisguised glee.

Twilight opened her mouth to ask another question, but as they landed at the ruins of one building, isolated from the others, she figured it would be more worth it to just observe. Clinging to the biped had been tiring.

She slid off of her shoulders and grimaced as the President's first known weapons were aimed at her homicidal idol and fired almost nonstop. The rapid firing hurt her ears even more, and she would have slumped down to cover them if she wasn't convinced that doing so would kill her.

Princess Celestia shrugged off the bullets, but she expected that. The Boss was growing impatient in her excitement to see what Matt, Kinzie, and Keith David had cooked up.

The moment that Celestia's surviving troops appeared, the Boss turned her sights to them, easily dispatching them in short order. Not long after, Celestia herself stepped into the town square, electing not to say anything in favor of trying to stomp on the human and the unicorn.

"Get ready!" Matt excitedly declared before everything went white.

They found themselves in a great, ruined hall, sunlight streaming through broken, but standing stained glass windows. Twilight immediately identified it as the Princess' throne room, though found that she could only see three walls. There was no fourth wall, and in its place was a white void that somehow did not give off any light or reflect off what parts of the floor still shined.

Music started to play as the President of the United States appeared seemingly from nowhere. She walked into frame and stopped. The biped grinned a huge grin and removed her sunglasses, tossing them to Twilight (whom caught them in her teeth) and flipping her hair back over her shoulders. "Ooooooh I'm gonna enjoy this~" she uttered lowly and excitedly, bringing up her fists and adopting a fighting stance.

On the the other side of the room, Twilight saw Princess Celestia appear, now normal sized and standing just a little taller than the President. She faced away from the bipedal with her eyes closed for a moment, though the frame zoomed in on her face as they opened. The next showed the alicorn walking into frame and fiercely spreading her wings, lighting her horn, and taking a stance of her own. "Fool," she uttered with icy certainty.

The room went dark for a fraction of a second before the President of the United States and Princess Celestia began moving.

"Ready!" Keith David's voice uttered lowly and loudly, making the Boss smile like a kid at Christmas.

"Matt, you're the fucking best!" she cried, advancing on the advancing equine and jumping just as Keith's voice sounded again.

"FIGHT!"

The second that that word was cried, the Boss delivered a harsh kick to Celestia's horn, landing and beginning to furiously punch the alicorn over and over again. Right, left, elbow, left hook, right hook transitioned seamlessly into a fierce x-slice with her green energy sword and a spinning back kick to Celestia's jaw to send her spinning back.

"Monster combo!!" Keith's voice sounded enthusiastically as the winged unicorn swiftly recovered and dashed in for retaliation. A flurry of hoof strikes were leveled at the Boss, and she blocked them naturally, still grinning from ear to ear like a damn fool.

Then Celestia went low. It hurt.

Front left, front right, horn scratch, horn stab, stab, stab, full back buck, five magic bolts ("Away!"), front right uppercut, double front hoof stomp, all of which culminated in a final harsh horn stab and a flesh searing blast of magic that floored the Boss.

"Beastly combo!!" came Keith's spine shivering cry.

The human stood up immediately and jumped away, appearing no worse for wear in spite of the harsh beating she herself had just endured, never mind the fading blood splatters on the floor. She thrust her hand out towards the alicorn, a Blast of ice sailing towards her opponent. The human then followed the icy projectile in, watching with a satisfied laugh as the alicorn blocked its icy impact.

The Boss produced one of her alien pistols from the "radial" and fired it at Celestia's hooves after a quick duck, then dropped it to start attacking. She threw several jabs at the equine's midsection, but was cut off by a harsh, sudden buck that knocked her into the air.

"C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!"

"Urghh...so that's what that feels like..." the Boss mused as she spun onto her feet, leaping in aggressively.

Twilight Sparkle had never wondered how her mentor would look while engaging in hoof to hoof combat. Now that she was watching it happen, even at the President's expense, she had to admit that it was spectacular! The way her alicorn idol moved, hitting with her front hooves, scratching and stabbing with her horn, turning around to buck, or even striking with her wings was mesmerising in itself.

The President was interesting to watch, too. She had heard things about how Diamond Dogs fought, and that was her comparison for how this biped moved and attacked. But she also had her weapons; those little ones from before, those icy Blasts, that strange, glowing, Neighponese looking sword... It was a treat to watch.

As the President of the United States and Princess Celestia clashed, Twilight Sparkle smiled a little and just observed, absently putting on the Boss' sunglasses as she did so. She enjoyed the violent spectacle and not once did she ever question that.

Celestia cried out in pain as the Boss took her down, taking that brief moment of respite to speak to Matt. "Matt, I want my bat," she uttered with a sly grin.

"Oh! ... Erm... of course! One moment!" the British guy replied as Celestia shot up.

"Ready."

A familiar weight appeared in her hands: a heavy, floppy fake tentacle on a stick. Great for its intended use, but completely impractical as a sex aid. The Boss backed up with it as the bat flopped around uselessly, producing her energy sword from her radial and tossing it away to be replaced by the novelty weapon.

"FIGHT!"

Celestia dashed in hard and started trying to strike the human, while said human blocked where she was able and went in for a grab. Grabbing Celestia's mane with her free hand and brandishing the Violator, she knee-d the winged unicorn in the throat to force her to open her mouth. Then, ignoring the impracticality of such use, the Boss brutally shoved as much of the tentacle bat into the Princess' muzzle as she could. Of course, it wouldn't do to just choke Celestia out. No, she then punched the equine in the throat again and withdrew the absurd bludgeon.

The human didn't let up on the alabaster equine, either, immediately moving in to begin attacking.

Left, right, left, right jab, Violator swing, twice, thrice, five shots from an SMG... She paused time to reload her SMG, emitting a cocky "Murder time, Fun time!" before continuing.

She began repeatedly shooting and kicking the majestic mare, voltage and blood coming off of her just before she tried to stab her out of the combo.

The Boss was ready this time. A broken orb of light closed in on the human as she caught the mare's horn, yelling a devious "No you don't!" as she began hitting Celestia again; harder, faster, more eagerly.

"C-C-C-C-COUNTER BREAKER!!" Keith David screamed energetically as the President of the United States furiously beat the winged unicorn down with gunshots, punches, kicks, and icy Blasts.

Many, many seconds later, the combo ended with the Boss whipping out her shotgun to blast Princess Celestia in the face and send her flying. "Goooodlike combo!" Keith David uttered lowly in what she could only describe as "metal voice." She dashed in quickly and expertly blocked the equine's fierce counter attack, catching Celestia in the chest with her oddly dry Violator. She grinned an evil grin and drew the bat back swiftly.

"LET'S GOOOO!" she yelled as a wave of green light rapidly waved out from around her feet and into the surroundings.

Out came the guns! She began rapidly shooting the Princess of the Sun with her pistols, then dropped them in favor of rapid body blows. Then the came her shotgun, smashing Celestia in the face with the barrel before pulling the trigger and sending her skyward. And as quickly as she could, she dropped the shotgun and reached behind her, pulling out a very tiny pistol and aiming it at the seemingly unconscious mare. She pulled the trigger, and was subsequently floored while red painted the walls and floor.

"ULLLTRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Keith screamed as the Boss kipped back onto her feet, grinning like a madwoman. She gazed briefly at the mangled, bloody corpse of the Princess, holstering her absurdly tiny pistol. Before turning to look at Twilight Sparkle.

The look on her face was incredible; a mix of wonder, awe, and intrigue adorned her face as she stood there with her mouth slightly agape.

The leader of the Saints grinned and chuckled, crossing her arms. "Ready to go, Twilight?" she quipped.

The mare said nothing for several seconds, giving the Boss ample time to pluck her sunglasses off of Twilight's face and to replace them upon her own.

"... Good answer. Kinzie!"

"Already on it, boss," Kinzie replied busily.

"T-That was..." was all poor Twilight could manage.

Twilight Sparkle's Simulation released its invader and its captive one minute later.

Author's Note

That was fun. Fun to write, I mean. As soon I had this idea, I ran with it hard. I think it turned out fantastic.

Anyways, leave a comment telling me what you think.

... Fuckin' KI, man...~

Back to Reality

Twilight awoke to nausea. Wherever she was, it was slimy and red and she was floating in it. "... Urghhh... M-Miss President...?" she uttered lowly, blinking a few times as she examined herself. She looked just fine, though her mane and tail were very obviously disheveled and her barrel was a little thinner. She didn't look or feel hurt, but when she tried to use her magic to light up her surroundings, nothing happened.

She noticed the thick, heavy, metallic collar around her neck, trying to pry it off with her hooves. She figured it must have been suppressing her magic somehow, and after being trapped in that damned... lie of a town for as long as she had been, she desperately wanted to begin tearing her prison and her jailors apart like the bastards they were!

... She stopped as soon as that thought hit her. "... Sweet Celestia... I..." she murmured, looking down (she assumed it was down) at the ground (again, assumed). Where had that thought come from? She wasn't a violent pony by any means, yet there she was, wishing a gruesome end on the ones whom had taken her from her home.

But they deserved it. They would deserve anything that they got... It would be sweet, sweet justice.

"... Stop it, Twilight... Stop it... that's... that's not you..." Twilight said to herself, doing her damnedest to deny those thoughts. As much as she wanted to see her newfound enemies crushed and destroyed for what they had done, she found herself picturing what would happen if Princess Celestia... the real Princess Celestia found out... what about her friends? Spike? Of course, she imagined the worst case scenario.

Her friends would fear her and/or hate her, Princess Celestia would disown her as a student, and the Elements of Harmony would no longer work, leaving Equestria vulnerable.

Equestria... What about Equestria, she found herself thinking next, her expression becoming one of despair. What about her friends and her mentor? How long had she been gone? Were they still looking for her?

Twilight inwardly scolded herself for thinking such. Of course they were still looking... no matter how long she was gone, her friends would never stop searching for her, trying to bring her back.

... Another terrible thought hit her at that instant, making her violet eyes widen. What if her friends had been foalnapped, too? She shook her head and grit her teeth, wishing desperately that she was wrong. She'd have to ask the President to help her save them, too. She couldn't just leave them here in this place.

A lump of bile threatened to evacuate itself, but she suppressed it like she suppressed the thought. She was working herself up over something that might not have even happened. She took many deep breaths - not once questioning how she was breathing while suspended in... whatever that red goop was - and did her best to calm down. She remembered the President's words.

She would be rescued. She just had to wait... and hope... But until then, she started fiddling with the collar fastened tightly around her neck, trying to remove it.

A little magic would go a long way, she darkly thought before she could chase that notion away.

After the escapes of The President, Matt Miller, and Johnny Gat, Zinyak's ship was much more heavily fortified. More troops, more "Murderbots", and more of those stupid giant ball tank things. Sure, the other Saints had gotten away, but the Boss was pretty sure that the Zin didn't care that much about the others. It was almost like they had just shown up on the ship.

One thing was crystal clear, however. As the Boss hit the deck in her robot/mech suit/in-no-way-power-armor, the Zin were ready for her. She barely had time to look like a robotic badass before she had to dash the suit behind a wall for cover.

As awesome as the mech suit was, the Boss had learned the hard way that it couldn't take all that much punishment. She had very nearly exploded many times while rescuing/picking up Johnny and having to smash the Zin during Matt's rescue - while fun - was also quite nervewracking.

Still, she knew the drill. Once she was certain that the guns worked (she had become paranoid about it since they broke down during Matt's rescue), she dashed into the fray, firing four rockets at three groups of foolishly bunched up aliens. Their corpses scattered all over the wide open room, while the survivors and tough Murderbots continued firing. The bots that were caught in the blasts began to crawl towards her, but she paid them no mind as she began unloading on the rest.

She focused down the remaining Murderbots first, not noticing the two ball tanks that had dropped down from the ceiling behind her for an ambush. Only after she had dispatched the last standing bot did she notice the telltale lasers of the ball tanks' weapon, and she took a beam right in the back for her ignorance.

"Agghhh! Fucker!" she cursed angrily, turning the mech around and dashing repeatedly to get in on her sizeable foes. She activated its jetpack and began to fly towards a platform where her first tanky target stood, all while firing backwards at a few alien footsoldiers.

Upon landing she cursed again when she saw that the tank had smartly kept looking at her, denying her the pleasure of putting rockets into its stupidly stupid green stupid weak spot of stupidity. She wouldn't claim to be as savvy as Kinzie when it came to mechanical shit like this, but even she had to wonder what would possess Zinyak to allow his ball tanks of death to have such an obvious weak spot. Sure, it followed its targets to not allow easy access, but still!

... Getting back on topic, it was preparing to fire again and the Boss was already firing her shoulder jets, dashing in to try and knock the ball tank off of the platform. As it turned out, she didn't need to. Her foe exploded a second before impact.

The Boss couldn't help but burst out laughing as she took off to try to strafe down the other. "Holy fuck, these robots!" she laughed. "They're so bad!"

"Duh," Kinzie replied, sounding preoccupied.

"You didn't see that?"

"What?"

"That... ball tank thing just got killed by another one!"

"Oh, that? I saw that."

"You're no fun, Kinzie."

Kinzie didn't respond, as the Boss figured she wouldn't. The second ball tank was destroyed after it foolishly tried to shoot a flying, moving target, landing behind it and rocketing it in the back of its infuriatingly stupid head before putting a few more rockets into the rest of the soldiers waiting for her.

The room was clear. As she landed back on the main platform and started trotting her way over to the door, she had a thought. "We've gotta think up a name for those things."

"Oh! Oh!" Matt Miller suddenly interjected before Kinzie could respond.

"No, Matt, we're not calling them Droidekas."

Matt didn't respond. Kinzie did. "Actually, the Zin call them Marauders."

The Boss reached the door and smashed it open with a dashing shoulder bash, beginning to unload on the lines of organized troops and Murderbots waiting for her beyond. "Eeeehhh... that's boring, though..." the leader of the Saints casually disagreed, as if she wasn't killing aliens with one robot arm and killing alien robots with the other.

"I like Marauder," commented one Asha Odekar, her British accent seeming vaguely familiar for some reason. "It seems fitting."

The Boss shook her head as she smashed a crawling Murderbot and bashed through another door, repeating the process of alien mass murder. "But they don't maraud! They're fucking tanks that roll around and constantly make me crash my cars."

"Sure, it's definitely the Marauders," Johnny Gat teased sarcastically, making the President grind her teeth a little as she rocketed another clump of Zin to hell.

"Oh, fuck you."

"They do maraud," came CID's monotone. "They are programmed to do just that."

"Fine, we'll call them fucking marauders," she finally conceded, smashing through another door and blowing up singular Zin soldier with a spectacular death scream. She dubbed him "Wilhelm."

The room she now found herself in was much like the other abductee storage rooms she had passed through while on Zinyak's ship. She briefly wondered if she should start searching the individual pods, but before she could start trying to do so, a marker popped up in the mech's HUD, along with a cluster of repair nodes that she quickly snatched up.

"So, is she deeper in?"

"Yep," Kinzie tersely replied.

"Fuck."

The first indication that anything was happening was an alarm that started blaring through the room, along with a repeated message in some language Twilight wasn't familiar with.

It had been at least an hour, possibly/probably more, since she had woken up in that tube of goo, and her attempts to remove the collar around her neck had proven fruitless. Even considering what she could do with her hooves without magic, she had long since come to the conclusion that the uncomfortable accessory was not made with ponies in mind. Well, actually it was, but it wasn't meant to be used by ponies, that was for sure. There were buttons on it that were hidden in deep recesses that she just couldn't touch with her hooves.

It must be an intentional design, she thought. Those evil things obviously didn't want their prisoner to take it off and run riot with magic. Which she would.

She cursed herself again for thinking that, though she then found herself justifying it to herself. Since she had been put in that terrible version of Ponyville, she had been bludgeoned, buried, choked, stabbed, beheaded, dismembered, de-horned, set on fire and burned, shot with crossbow bolts, crushed, eaten, poisoned, discected, and many other fatal, brutal things that she did not care to try and recall. She was well within her rights to feel wrathful.

"No... Violence isn't the answer..." she told herself aloud, shutting her eyes and shaking her head rapidly. "Violence isn't the answer... I am not a violent pony... No matter how much they deserve it..."

For better or worse, that train of thought was viciously derailed when she heard a loud series of yells, followed by a loud crash and sounds of fighting. She could vaguely hear what sounded like those smaller weapons the President had used during her fight with that... abomination from fake Ponyville, but it was difficult to tell. The goo she was suspended in made it hard to hear anything outside the tube.

Thankfully, the noises were getting closer. Unfortunately for her nerves, the noises were getting closer. She immediately thought the worst. Her captors were coming to kill her again! She began to hope that this was still one of those "Simulations" that the President and her friends had been talking about. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready to die. She couldn't bear the thought of dying while her friends, family, and idol missed her. Thinking of them looking and waiting in vain for a dead pony brought tears to her eyes.

It... felt good. It felt good to cry... She could barely remember any times in the "Simulation" that she wasn't crying or screaming. But this... this felt real. And it began to snowball into sobs, muffled by the red slime keeping her suspended in her tubular prison.

She probably would have had a more full breakdown if a door directly in front of her tube hadn't exploded. A huge, bipedal figure lumbered through it. Its body looked like it was wearing a full suit of metallic armor, though its helmet and bits of its two oddly shaped arms had a strange, light blue glow to them that made it seem... cool.

Whatever it was, it began to approach Twilight Sparkle's prison. The unicorn shut her eyes and braced herself for whatever it was about to do.

The Boss crashed through one more door to come out into another abductee room, and immediately saw her objective. "You'd think Zinyak would want to hide her better," she quietly commented as she walked her mech over towards the tube.

What she saw within gave her pause. Very little gave the leader of the Third Street Saints and the former free world pause, but this little unicorn did. She looked pathetic. Twilight was clearly scared of her, and she looked... well, she looked like she'd been stuck in that tube for many, many months. She frowned and stepped a little closer to the pod, stopping right in front of it. She brought her minigun arm back, then slammed it right through the bottom of the pod, shattering it and freeing its captive.

Twilight fell to the cold, metal floor with a loud cry as the slime that had kept her floating fell out around her, dispersing all over the ground and washing away the shards of glass or... whatever it was made of. Upon landing, she felt that bile coming back and couldn't hold it in this time. Her nonexistant lunch spilled onto the wet floor, a sickly violet-green color.

Once she had finished vomiting, she finally opened her eyes to look around. Then she looked back at the huge, lumbering beast that had freed her, eyeing it with both fear and hope.

Hope won out when she heard a familiar voice. "So, still wondering if I'll kill you?" came that confident feminine tone, making her smile just a little as she shakily tried to rise to her hooves.

"... T-Thank you... Thank you so... urp... so much..." she uttered in a raspy voice as more bile came up and out, managing not to do it on herself in spite of her weakness and disorientation. Instead, she collapsed rather embarassingly, her limbs splayed out.

The President, apparently inside that huge suit of armor, stepped closer to the unicorn until they were mere inches apart. The suit opened from the front to reveal the very same creature that had saved her life in that wretched place before. Twilight lifted her gaze as said creature hopped out of the armor and landed with a grunt on the ground beside her.

"Think you can stand?" she uttered, offering one of her... claws to the unicorn. Twilight examined it... it was that same fleshy pale color, but the backs of its individual... claws had what looked like short, blunt claws on the tips... Perhaps they weren't claws, but rather, hands. She must be some sort of furless ape, Twilight managed to ponder as she put a hoof in the President's hand.

A few seconds of uneasy effort and Twilight Sparkle was back on her hooves, albeit shakily. She looked the President over again. That black outfit was gone - as were her sunglasses - and in its place was some sort of grey jumpsuit with bits of black on her shoulders and parts of her legs. A zipper ran up its front and the zipper itself was not all the way zipped, exposing an even more pale portion of her torso. She idly noted that those lumps on the President's chest seemed to be a part of her body.

"What's with that collar?" the bipedal creature asked, producing those familiar looking hand held weapons again and looking around cautiously. "Is it yours?"

Twilight lit up a little, suddenly realizing the opportunity (and quietly berating herself a little for not thinking of it first). She lifted her head and sniffled, electing not to wipe her eyes because of how slimy she still was. "... N-No... It isn't... I don't know why it's there, but I can't take it off... Can you? ... Please...?" she replied, sounding raspier than before. She briefly wondered if her captors had even been feeding her. Her mouth felt like a desert and her stomach felt like a void.

The President of the United States eyed the collar and crouched down to examine it, noting a few buttons on its front that receeded into such. She seemed to think about it for a moment before pushing one of the buttons seemingly blindly.

Whatever it was, the collar made a few odd beeping noises before it suddenly came apart and fell off the unicorn in two halves. As soon as it did, it felt as though somepony had lifted a heavy layer of film off of her body and she could feel her magic beginning to slowly return to her. She managed a weak smile for her savior and started to try to nuzzle her, but stopped herself; she didn't think the President would appreciate being slimed.

"... Thank you... so much..." she panted, slowly rubbing her neck. Now that it was off, Twilight realized just how tight it had been. Her body had gotten used to its presence, so with it off, it felt great.

"Don't thank me yet..." the biped said in a distracted tone, looking back at the open armor suit.

Twilight suddenly found herself being pulled onto the President's shoulders, and being placed inside said armor before her savior climbed in herself. Once the armor closed in, she realized that it was quite cramped; the position she was sitting in had Twilight's head pressed right against the biped's stomach. It was dark, but only for a moment as the inside lit up with displays and a view of the outside. The unicorn, now thoroughly interested and distracted with the strange armor, decided not to ask about it and instead watched as the creature seemed to pilot the hulking contraption.

Ignoring the awkward position that the two were now crammed into, The Boss turned the mech suit around to begin leaving the same way they had come. Oddly enough, there was no opposition in the next room, only the corpses of the Zin and the scrap left behind by their Murderbots.

"Kinzie, same place?" she quipped, stopping the mech before she went any further.

"Yeah... where's Twilight?" came Kensington's response, seeming confused. "I don't see her around you."

The leader of the Saints raised an eyebrow. "She's... in the robot with me. I don't think she can walk, let alone run right now." She paused for a moment, chosing her words. "Kinzie, what are you doing?"

"Oh.. Uh... just poking through the Zin's security," she answered in a rather suspicious sounding manner.

"Dammit Kinzie, stop watching porn and pay attention... Never thought I'd say that..." the Boss scolded, hearing a sigh from her Press Secretary.

"Yeah, head back to the same platform. We'll be there in four, maybe five minutes, but the Zin are chasing us down. You'd better get moving because when we get there, we won't be able to wait for you for long."

"Got it," the President replied, getting the mech moving again and briefly looking down at Twilight. She could definitely feel the slime rubbing off on her suit, and it was uncomfortable at best, but she forgot about it the moment she looked at Twilight.

The way she was sitting and had her hands on the controls didn't allow for a lot of freedom of movement. Having a little purple unicorn sitting around her feet with her head meshed against her stomach - a few inches below her chest - didn't help either. She couldn't see past her own chest, so she could only see the top half of Twilight's head.

It was equal parts adorable and heartwrenching.

On one hand, she was tapping into the secret weapon of any dog anywhere ever: putting their head on something makes them infinitely more adorable. And Twilight was watching the mech suit's view with undisguised intrigue, her huge violet eyes glued to the screen.

And on the other, Twilight Sparkle looked like shit. Her eyes were heavily bloodshot and her purple and pink streaked mane was in great disarray. She'd probably been crying a lot, if her behavior back in the simulation was any indication.

She felt compelled to say something. She wasn't totally without a heart, after all.

"... Uhhh... You doing alright?" she awkwardly asked, almost immediately starting to regret that decision.

The unicorn looked at her now, blinking twice before quietly shaking her head.

"... Oh..."

The awkward silence that followed was terrible, but short lived as the mech stomped into another room. Zin were everywhere with full armaments. Shields, RPGs, specialists that she'd only seen inside the Simulation, CIDs, Murderbots, and... Marauders.

"Fuck that!" the Boss yelled, making the mech suit lurch forward in a dash while every single Zin in the room started firing. Many, many shots connected with the suit and rattled the cockpit. It was a wonder that they didn't immediately die, though given the fact that the RPGs and Marauders missed, perhaps it wasn't. "Hang on!" she yelled to the unicorn, taking off with the bot's jetpack and making a beeline for the door.

The sudden profanity startled the purple pony, following the biped's instructions and bracing herself while watching the screen. She could see all sorts of glowing projectiles hitting the giant armor suit. Judging by the way the small space rumbled with each strike, she figured it was a bad thing.

Twilight closed her eyes tightly, wracking her brain for ideas... one came fairly quickly. "Ummm... Kinzie?" she spoke up, hoping that she would be heard.

"Is that Twilight?" the voice replied.

"Y-Yes!" Twilight said loudly, wishing she knew more about the one called Kinzie. "Ummm... how tall is this armor?"

"It's a robot," she heard the President mutter under her breath.

"Ummm... about twelve feet. Why?" Kinzie answered curiously.

"Okay... thanks...!" Twilight let out a sigh and closed her eyes, trying to will more magic into her body (despite the lack of such an ability) as she opened them again and watched the screen as the armor suit brought them out of that death trap of a room.

"What are you doing, Twilight?" the President queried, peering down at the unicorn.

"I think... I think I can make us a shield..." she uttered softly, swallowing dryly. The biped seemed incredulous as she continued. "I don't... I don't know how long I'd be able to keep it up, but... it's something... I want to help..."

"Ooookay, great," the President uttered in reply, continuing through Zinyak's ship.

The next three minutes were intense. The Zin seemed to be very much opposed to letting the Boss leave with their precious captive. The Boss didn't stop for much, though, opting to run and gun through the Zin ship. She was getting awfully sick of mowing down Murderbots.

"Boss!" Shaundi's voice rang out through the cockpit, startling Twilight as they approached the door to the landing platform. "We're gonna be there in just a few seconds! Johnny and Ben are trying to hold them off, but you need to hurry! Where are you?"

"Almost there! J-" The Boss started, though as she walked through the last door. She was, however, cut off when a massive barrage of lasers and rockets struck the mech suit, filling the cockpit with smoke. "SHIT!"

"Boss! What happened?!" Shaundi yelled. "Bo-"

"I'm okay!" the President yelled back as she dashed out of the killzone, stamping towards the edge of the platform while turning to return fire on the bastards that had nearly blown her up. "Fly faster, Shaundi!"

"Got it!"

Another dash sent the mech sliding across the platform and into incoming fire, making the robot's HUD light up with many, many warnings as it worked to vent smoke from the cockpit and recommended that its pilot eject immediately. The Boss quickly stomped behind a nearby wall and began firing on Zin troops behind her, looking down at the unicorn sitting at her feet.

"Twilight, whatever that shield is, we need it now or we're dead!"

No pressure, then. "... Alright... Here goes..." she managed with a following cough, closing her eyes and focusing as hard as she could. She dug for every single tiny shred of magic she had left in her, channeling it all into her horn.

The Boss didn't know what she was expecting when she asked for a shield, but she wasn't expecting her purple charge to begin lighting up the cockpit. She chanced a glance downwards to see Twilight's horn glowing an appropriate violet, raising an eyebrow and a hand to wave away some smoke. Upon looking at the view screen, she saw that a thin layer of purple... stuff was forming a bubble around the mech suit.

"... Alright... Alright, just keep it up!" she declared as she made the bot lurch into action, immediately seeing the ship at the other end of the docking platform.

"Boss! We're here!" Shaundi yelled as they stomped their way over, now ignoring any and all Zin on their way there.

The Boss fired the robot's jetpack and took off towards the ship, flying it as hard as she could towards the open cargo bay door. Alien fire sailed into and past them nonstop, but the shield held (from what the Boss could tell, anyway). A few seconds later, they were in, and the door slammed shut behind them.

"We're in! Go!" the Boss yelled, feeling the ship lurching back up to top speed. She lowered her gaze to the tired unicorn and tapped her head a few times. "Twilight, you can stop now."

Twilight gasped as she was told to stop, breaking her concentration and opening her eyes to look up at the President. She swallowed once and nodded at her savior. "... We're safe?"

The biped shook her head and Twilight's expression fell slightly. "No. We have to get away first," came her answer, tapping a few things on the side of the armor to make its front open. Smoke filtered out of it as the President hopped out of the suit, grunting with the landing. "Come on... oh, uh.. right."

Twilight slowly tried to climb out of the armor, but her hooves failed her and she collapsed. She passed out a few seconds later.

The Boss cursed under her breath as she saw Twilight collapse, climbing up to the cockpit and awkwardly picking up the little unicorn. Then she hopped back down from the heavily damaged mech, grunting harder with the effort.

Matt Miller and Pierce were waiting for her. "What's wrong with her?" Pierce quipped, pointing at the unconscious equine with his hat and scratching his head with his other hand. Miller beckoned the Boss over and pointed to his couch in the corner, upon which the leader of the Saints placed their quadruped prize.

"I dunno. She's probably hungry, though. See to her when she wakes up, I'm gonna go take the controls. Matt, fix the mech. Pierce... do whatever..." the Boss uttered, getting a nod from the former and a shrug from the latter as he elected to stay put.

"Nah, I'll stay. Meeting an alien that doesn't want to kill me's better than being Kinzie's middleman," the face of the Saints replied, sitting on a nearby crate as a door above them opened. CID floated through it and down to observe the unicorn. It didn't say a word.

The Boss left the cargo bay and made a dash for the bridge, leaving Twilight alone with the two males and the AI.

Author's Note

So, I lost this chapter twice and had to rewrite it twice. I'm sure it shows, but here's hoping you guys like it anyways.

Leave some feedback, will ya?

Welcome to the Saints

Twilight let out a soft groan as consciousness returned to her at last, feeling first the slightly comfortable place she was lying. It was a welcome change to the awkward position she had been in in that armor suit or the... tube she had been imprisoned in. It itself was warm, and while it wasn't much, it felt like the highest luxury to the unicorn.

Then her stomach reminded her of its empty, empty existence, growling loudly at her and forcing her to open her eyes. "... Urghhhh..." she emitted weakly, opening her big violet eyes halfway and taking in the initial blurry image.

She could see a lot of grey, and the area she was in was dimly lit, but her view of the seemingly large room was cut off by two figures. She could hear them speaking.

"Fuck, those eyes are big," said one, sounding male with a sort of accent that Twilight could swear she had heard before, but couldn't remember. "You think she sees more than us?"

"You realize that she is waking up?" another said, his voice sounding vaguely masculine, but with a sort of tinge that she had definitely never heard before.

"Yeah. Hey, girl. You feelin' alright?" the first asked as her vision started to improve. She opened her eyes to see two forms in front of her. The first belonged to another biped, this one with dark brown skin and a much flatter chest. He (she assumed) also wore the same grey jumpsuit that the President had worn while rescuing her, as well as a grey fedora.

The other was an odd spherical thing that hovered off the ground, a small circle of blue light directed at her resting in its middle. It seemed to "blink" every now and then, so she assumed it to be an eye.

"... Unghhh... O-Okay, I guess..." she uttered softly, noting a bit of movement in the background and spotting that huge armor suit in the background. A third figure was doing something around its left leg; perhaps it was being repaired.

"Good," the first one said, turning away briefly before placing a bowl of something near her head, along with a bottle of water. "The Boss says you gotta eat."

The unicorn didn't need to be told twice, lifting her head and shifting her body slowly to lie upright on the marginally soft surface and to look at the meal she had been offered. In the bowl appeared to be some kind of gruel, a clean spoon resting atop the seemingly solid food. Despite her reservations towards doing such, she listened to her stomach and channeled a tiny amount of magic to take hold of the spoon.

"What the hell?!" the first biped yelled, backing up with wide eyes and an expression that seemed very much surprised. She didn't think she was wrong, but with such small eyes, it was difficult to tell. "What the hell is that?!" he then continued, pointing at her magic enveloped spoon with a finger. Twilight did not immediately answer, shaking her head as she dug the spoon into the gruel and brought it to her mouth.

True to her own suspicions, it was all but flavorless. She wished for some sugar or fruit to help with that, but her pessimisim told her that there would be no such thing for her here. So she swallowed it down regardless, grimacing slightly at the taste as she floated the bottle to her lips to drink. At least the water tasted fine.

Once she finished drinking, she turned her attention to the surprised male, giving him a raised eyebrow. "It's... just my magic... see?" she uttered softly, taking the spoon again and lifting it higher so he could see it spinning in midair. This did little for him, it seemed, but he came back over to her and crouched again near the sofa. She shoveled another spoonful of the thick, tasteless, veritable paste into her mouth and took another drink before speaking again. "Who are you?" she queried, tilting her head slightly as she watched the biped male poke her spoon a few times. She would have added more to that question, but she got her answer first.

The first male gave his head a gentle upwards jerk, recognizing it as a sort of greeting that some foals used. "I'm Pierce," he replied as he continued to poke, prod, and examine anything Twilight picked up in her magic.

The bookworm then turned her gaze to the other creature/object and watched it blink once. "You may call me CID. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Sparkle," it said, its voice somehow managing to convey sincerity while lacking any emotion.

Twilight began scraping the bowl with her spoon to dig out a few more mouthfuls of her bland meal before finishing it, washing it down with a long swig of her water. She smiled slightly at the two in front of her and set the water down on a nearby table, alongside an odd, rectangular object that glowed a soft, cold blue. Then she began pushing up with her front hooves, bringing herself to sit on her haunches on that couch. "Thank you... I needed that," she offered with a slightly larger smile.

"Ah, don't worry 'bout it," the one called Pierce replied with a chuckle.

Twilight was silent for a few awkward seconds before she finally spoke again. "Ermm... where is the bathroom?" she then queried, shuffling forward towards the edge of the couch and beginning to try to lower herself off of such. Her hooves met the cold, metal floor and made her shiver slightly; now that she thought about it, the air was actually rather cold. Not freezing, but enough to be uncomfortable.

Pierce raised an eyebrow, but then pointed at a set of stairs on her right, at the other end of the room. "Up that way, through the door, and then the one on your right."

The purple unicorn nodded her thanks as she finally got on all fours. Despite the very clear protests her body was making about this decision, the protests of her bladder won out and forced her onward. As she hobbled over towards the staircase, she got a closer look at the one working on the President's armor suit. The biped in question also wore one of those same grey jumpsuits, but the suit's collar was popped and hid most its neck, and its arms were decorated with... something that looked like it was covered with buttons, although she couldn't be sure. Its hair was black and long, and it had something attached to its ear.

She noted this as she reached the stairs and climbed them as swiftly as her weak legs would let her, taking a quick right and then a quick left to approach a large metal door. Before she could even begin to look for a knob or a latch, however, it opened on its own. Electing to examine the door later, she took another right into the restroom.

Now she had just one more obstacle: the strangest looking toilet in existence.

Twilight left the room feeling weaker than she had before. As it turned out, she had to prop herself up on the damned thing AND use a bit of magic to support herself. It was far from comfortable.

And now Twilight wanted nothing more than to collapse. She wouldn't have minded collapsing right there on the floor, but before she could decide between doing so and returning to the couch, she heard the door to her immediate right open, showing a large, circular room. In the center was a series of odd looking... machines (she assumed they were, anyways), and in a circle around this cluster of unknown technology were a series of... things... She compared them to what a dentist's chair might look like if it were completely flattened, had metallic... things attached to the sides, and were made for non-ponies.

One of them was being used, and as she took a shaky step towards that room, she realized that none other than the President of the United States was its user. The device was glowing a soft blue and the things on the sides were closed in on her without appearing to restrain her.

The President's eyes were closed. Was this how these creatures slept, she had to wonder. Twilight tried to take a few more steps into the room, but found herself unable to get herself to move. Her limbs now very, very fiercely opposed any more movement, objecting with fatigue and soreness out the butt. She panted softly and did her best to slowly lower herself to the floor, lying on all fours in the middle of that small hallway while her presence kept the automatic door wedged open.

A shiver shook her body and she looked around her grey, dim surroundings... And that's all there was, nothing but grey, dark oppressiveness. Never mind the slight chill. She almost began to miss the tube; at least the slime had kept her warm. ... Come to think of it, her coat was completely dry now. Somepony had gone to the trouble of cleaning her off, though now that she thought about it, her mane and tail were still in total disarray. Messy purple bangs hung in her face, and she now wished for a mirror and a brush to at least make herself look decent.

Twilight thought of Rarity, and how she would react to her appearance.

"Oh, darling! What in the world happened to your mane?! Come! Come! Rarity will fix it!"

Twilight found herself smiling softly as she pictured the fashionista's reaction, though the smile faded quickly. She hoped dearly that Rarity was okay-

The mare grit her teeth as her pupils became pinpricks, breath catching in her throat. Her friends! She had completely forgotten! They could still be on Zinyak's ship for all she knew, but she had never even thought to mention it to her savior.

Tears came to her eyes once again, threatening to escape as she bowed her head and hid her visage in her front forelegs. How could I have been so stupid, she scolded herself, cursing her legs for needing their damn rest and her memory for the obvious.

"... I'm... I'm so fucking stupid..." she quietly berated herself, not bothering to check or correct her language.

For better or worse, however, she was startled out of her wits by the sound of a door opening behind her, and judging by the sound the one responsible made, the same went for him. She turned her head and lifted it to see the being that had been working on the President's armor previously standing in the doorway with wide eyes and an... interesting look to him. Namely in the makeup he wore. Twilight had seen some stallions in Canterlot with a similar look, but she had to question why he would have bruises on his cheeks. She briefly wondered if those bruises were makeup or real. "... I'm sorry... you scared me is all..." he apologized, turning away and seemingly taking a moment to regain his composure before turning around again. He approached the mare and knelt down, offering her a hand while also wearing a very nervous smile. His face seemed slightly wet now, and he wasn't crying. "I'm Matt M-Miller. I helped break you out."

Twilight looked down at his offered, gloved hand briefly before raising a hoof to take it and slowly get back on all fours again. She sniveled softly and looked up at him, looking around briefly before staring at the floor. "Can you help me get back, Matt Miller?" she said softly, though she did take notice of one thing rather quickly, if selfishly. This Matt Miller character seemed completely uninterested in the emotional state she was obviously in... Not a good first impression, she mused before willing such unkind thoughts away.

"Er... how about in here?" he replied, gesturing towards the one door that she hadn't seen into. When it opened... well, the lighting of the room sent up red flags almost instantly, never mind the sketchy music and the whip lying on the mattress within.

"... No, back down to the couch, please," she replied rather hastily, catching the disappointed look on the creature's face and concluding that she chose wisely. The one called Matt complied, and slowly helped the unicorn return to her spot on the couch.

She immediately noticed that Pierce and CID were no longer there, and as soon as she was on the couch, Mr. Miller left as well. Twilight was alone again. All alone with her thoughts. It wasn't long at all before her previous train of thought returned to her.

The Boss sighed satisfactorily as she crushed a golden CID under a mean right punch, the veritable army of Zin that had been pursuing her immediately vanishing behind her. She loved doing that. Something about chasing down those little golden balls, listening to their hard to understand quips, and then breaking the fuck out of them was just so unbelievably satisfying.

"150 points to the Saints~" she said to herself as she leaped high into the air. And as she did, she heard that familiar three tone "someone's about to talk to you" noise. She idly made a note to name that sound later.

"Twilight's awake, Boss," came Pierce's voice over the audio system, eliciting a slight grin from the gliding Saint.

"Good! How is she?"

"She has super powers, Boss! Real super powers!" her Communications Director then continued. "It's freaky as shit!"

"Oookay. How is she feeling?"

"... Oh... uh... fine, I guess. She ate and went up to go," the male replied after a brief pause. "You comin' back, then?"

The woman hit the side of a tower and jumped off of it in the opposite direction, gliding towards a nearby gateway. "Yep."

"Be careful 'round her, Boss."

Pierce's attitude about the little unicorn really... really rubbed the leader of the Saints the wrong way, making her frown and grit her teeth. "Oh, push your balls back outta your snatch, Pierce. She's not gonna to try to probe you."

There was no reply, and the Boss just grumbled to herself softly over it as she dashed to the Simulation gateway and began the short process of leaving the Simulation.

The President of the United States looked around the cargo bay as she entered through the upper door, seeing nobody else in the room. She could hear soft whimpering, however, and she stayed still for several seconds to just listen to the sound. It must be Twilight, she hypothesized as she walked to the catwalk railing and vaulted over it with a soft grunt, followed by a louder one as she landed on the floor below.

A sharp gasp was the pony's reaction to her rapid descent, turning around to see the mare in question. She looked... better... She was dry now, and though her violet eyes were bloodshot, her face appeared to be dry from where she stood. Her mane and tail were still a mess, but that didn't surprise the Boss at all. Truthfully, the President was surprised that her own hair was holding up as well as it was without the meticulous care she gave it each morning back on Earth. Surprise, surprise, there were no brushes or hair care products on the ship.

The Boss started approaching the couch perched mare with a smile, seeing a slight smile appearing on the unicorn's muzzle. "Hey, Twilight. How're ya doing?" she opened, crouching next to the sofa as Twilight wiped her eyes with one of her front legs. Not once did the Boss question how this little equine was so flexible.

"I'm... doing okay..." she started, the incoming "but" very obvious in her tone. "But I really need to ask you something... well, some things..."

Normally, she would have declined the offer and went on her way, but she found herself shrugging and nodding anyways. "Sure, why not."

Twilight's faint smile grew a little bigger, then faded completely as she looked at her hooves. She seemed to agonize over something for a while, making the woman rather impatient. Before she could urge Twilight on, though, the purple pony opened her mouth to speak. "I need to know... Did you see anypony else when you were coming to get me before...?" came that query at last, making the Boss raise an eyebrow. The unicorn immediately looked a hundred times more nervous as she continued. "I'm worried about my friends... Do you know if... Zinyak has them?"

"Well, that's more a question for Kinzie," the President uttered softly, deflecting the question out of sheer ignorance. "She and Matt are the hackers, not me." Twilight's expression fell a little, looking disappointed. The Boss immediately moved to cover her ass. "I'll have her talk to you later. I think she wants to meet you anyways." This sentence was only a half truth. That last bit was a guess, but that seemed to satisfy the purple unicorn somewhat.

"Oh... thank you. You never told me your name," the violet one then emitted, getting the Boss to chuckle.

"National secret. Sorry." Twilight raised an eyebrow this time, and the human quickly cut in before the next obvious question could be asked. "'Why' is also a national secret. You can call me Boss if you want." Her lips curved into a bravado ridden smirk and she reached forward to gently pat the weak pony's nape a few times.

Twilight briefly wondered if she should press the issue, but chose not to, instead asking a more mundane question. After a heavy sigh, of course. "... What are you?"

"A human."

"Oh. And what about... 'CID', was it?"

"He's an AI or something. I dunno; ask Kinzie."

The Boss noted Twilight's expression of disappointment over that answer, but she obviously blazed right on by it instead of pressing further. The leader of the Saints did think of a question to ask of her own, but Twilight spoke up again first.

"I... I noticed that when CID introduced himself, he-"

"-Was being a pervert? Yeah, just turn him down if he asks you out."

Twilight stared at the Boss like she had just told a really bad joke, but continued anyways. "... When he introduced himself, he said it was a pleasure to finally meet me... Do you know how long Zinyak had me?"

The Boss briefly wondered about answering that question, but shrugged her shoulders and did so anyways. "I think he said you were his prisoner for... a year or so. A little longer, I think."

Twilight's face became saddened almost immediately, staring down at her hooves as she thought about that answer. Her huge purple eyes began to water a little and her own heart began to melt yet again. The President moved onto the couch next to the mare and uttered a rather awkward "Don't mind me" as she sat down beside her. Her right hand moved over the crying pony's head and placed itself on her head, lightly scratching her ears.

It was a move that seemed to work wonders for poor Twilight's mood. Her ears perked right up as she scratched, and she began gently moving her head against the Boss' attention. The Boss' smirk disappeared and was replaced with a wistful ghost of a smile as she thought of better times and of home. A soft sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it, and Twilight seemed to notice.

The first thing she really thought when the "human" began scratching her ears was about how nice it felt. She didn't stop thinking of home, but it was a comforting thing. Tiny, but to her, it meant the world.

She heard the Boss sighing and looked back to see that longing expression of hers, and offered the best sympathetic smile she could. "Ummm... You can ask me some questions if you want," the unicorn offered, sniveling before tilting her head to the left; the human had found a sweet spot around her right ear and it felt fantastic.

The biped noted her offer and paused only a second before posing a question. "Where are you from?" she asked, using her free hand to brush a few strands of hair from her face.

Twilight had to wonder about the President's choice briefly, but gave a quick answer. "Ponyville... In Equestria."

"I meant the planet."

Planet? Why would she need to know the planet? "Equus... Why?" she asked, though as she did so, something occured to her...

"Oh, just curious..." the human answered, her fingers beginning to wander up into the mare's mane to rake through it ponderously. "Pierce was freaking out about something earlier. He said you had superpowers... Did he mean that shield thing you made earlier?"

"... Oh, my magic?" Twilight replied softly, seeing the President raise an eyebrow in response. "I was just holding my spoon with my magic and... well, he freaked out, yes."

"... Magic?"

"Yeah," she uttered in reply, wondering about how the Boss was answering. "You act like you've never heard of it before."

"I thought you were doing some... some... alien thing. I don't fuckin' know."

"... Oh." So she hadn't. The unicorn added that to the "ask later" list. And as she did, another question popped into her head. An important question. One that needed to be asked right away. "I know it's your turn for questions, but I just thought of something... when... when do I get to go home?"

The Boss answered casually and without a single second of hesitation. "You don't."

The Boss felt Twilight tense up immensely as she gave that answer, but kept talking anyways. "I saved your ass, so you work for me now. When w-"

"Wh-What...?" she heard Twilight utter in a hushed, breathless tone.

"Yeah. Welcome to the Saints." She followed this statement with a gentle, dual pat on the head. Twilight remained silent for several seconds after she said this, prompting the President to stop scritching and retract her hand.

"NO!" came a sudden cry from the unicorn, her voice sounding much louder as her horn flared up with brilliant purple light. The unicorn leaped off of the sofa and spun around to face the Boss, her wrathful glare fixed right on the human's visage.

Before she could even try to react or respond, that same purple glow surrounded her, lifting her quite forcefully off of the couch and pinning her to the underside of the catwalk above. "Ghahhhk!!" she cried, though she could do no more as she felt a pressure closing in on her neck.

"I NEED TO GO HOME! TAKE ME BACK TO EQUUS! NOW!!" Twilight screamed while magically choking out the leader of the Third Street Saints.

"Ca-!" A gasp. "C-" Another gasp. "C-Can't! Can't!" the Boss yelled as loud as she could, bringing her hands to her neck to try to pry whatever invisible hands there were that so eagerly crushed her windpipe.

"DO IT! NOW!" the previously nervous unicorn shrieked as the force pinning her to the catwalk intensified. She could feel the grating cutting the skin on her legs and biceps. The woman began to flail as she tried to nod, but the force and the magical chokehold were preventing her from agreeing. As much as she wanted to defy Twilight, she was currently being held against the ceiling and being choked to death with magic. What option did she have?

Well, as she looked down, she saw her salvation. Before Twilight could stop it, Johnny Gat had entered the room from the left, seen the murder-in-progress, and subsequently hurled a nearby box at the mare. It worked, striking the purple pony in the head and breaking her hold on the Boss.

The President fell back to the couch beneath her and coughed harshly, holding her throat as she took deep breaths greedily. She could hear her best friend holding the unicorn down and delivering punch after punch to her. She rose to her feet, knowing what was about to happen.

"Johnny..." came her wheezed plea, getting the sunglasses wearing badass to pause mid swing and to dismount the unicorn. Twilight looked dazed, her muzzle bruised and her nose bleeding. She seemed disoriented and weak, but still aware and undoubtedly still conscious. Perfect.

Still gasping for breath, the Boss stood over the equine for a second, staring down at her with murderous intent. "Little shit!" she shouted as loudly as she could, punctuating the curse with as fierce of a kick to the ribs as she could manage. Twilight cried out pathetically in pain, tears welling up in her eyes.

"You stupid bitch! We CAN'T take you home! Not yet! Zinyak dies first!" the Boss then continued, lifting her right foot and then stomping hard on the unicorn mare's barrel.

"Uaghhhhhh!!"

"So you listen to me, and you listen really... really fucking good, Twilight Sparkle. We're on your side. You're one of us now," she spat, chosing to deliver a harsh right straight to Twilight's cheek. "You help me kill Zinyak, you're free to go home. But if you ever... EVER attack me or my crew again, I'll fucking kill you myself."

Twilight only managed a soft wheeze, and a weak, quiet "I'm sorry."

As Twilight's consciousness began to fade, pain rampaging through her body, she heard the President utter one last sentence. "Consider yourself canonized."

She was struck again, and blacked out immediately.

Johnny Gat let out a short whistle as the President of the United States finished that last punch. "What the hell happened anyway?" he queried, pulling out his knife and holding it backhanded in his right hand as he approached.

"She doesn't get to leave until I can stuff Zinyak's head in the Zimos shark's mouth," the woman replied simply, turning away from the unconscious and bruised unicorn. "Have Kinzie and Matt work on getting her hooked up to the Simulation. Keep CID away from her, and have someone keep an eye on her until she wakes up. If she tries this shit again, kill her."

Johnny stared at his Boss for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and easily slinging the limp equine over his shoulders, carrying her away. He managed a chuckle as he climbed the stairs, looking at the pony's face. "She ain't so bad once ya get to know her."

Author's Note

Yep, that escalated quickly.

Allow me to explain myself. The Third Street Saints were always a street gang, and I see the Boss as a woman who doesn't take shit from anyone or anypony. If she were attacked by one of her own, I don't think that she'd hesitate for even a second to attack right back. Thankfully Mr. Most-Dangerous-Man-In-History-Of-World was there to save the Boss' bacon, though.

And considering Twilight's experiences in her Simulation, adding in her lack of knowledge about the world around her, and some new revelations, I think her going insane here was justified.

Also, we know the Saints beat the shit out of newcomers for initiation, so... hey, she's official now! :pinkiehappy: ... :fluttershyouch:

Anyway, leave some feedback! I'm dying to know what you guys and gals think.

(Disclaimer: this was not just an excuse to beat the shit out of Twilight. I like Twilight.)

Why would we go BACK?!

Twilight woke up to find herself on a cold metal floor, her eyes opening slowly as a bout of coughing hit her. Each hack hurt like no other, and coupled with the aching in her jaw, soreness of her horn, and debilitating pain in her belly, she was very aware very quickly.

She could feel a layer of warm cloth covering most of her body, and upon looking down at herself, she realized that she was now clad in one of the same grey jumpsuits as the rest of the President's friends. The way it looked suggested that this article of clothing wasn't meant for somepony like her, judging by the fact that the sleeves and legs appeared to have been cut off at some point. It was done rather sloppily, too. At the very least, though, she was thankful that she was warm... and alive.

"Oh, good. You're awake," a nearby voice chimed in, sounding feminine and familiar. Twilight very carefully moved to lie on all fours, her legs tucked under her as she glanced in the speaker's direction. It was a female human, clad in the same grey jumpsuit as the others, but wearing some sort of purple hooded top underneath it. She wore a pair of plain glasses and her auburn hair looked about as dirty as her own mane felt. "Perfect timing. I'm Kinzie Kensington, but you knew that already."

"Per... Perfect timing...?" she uttered softly, lowering her voice for fear that speaking any louder would hurt.

"I'm almost done with your Simulation link," Kinzie replied without looking up from what she was working on. Twilight wasn't sure what the black object on the human's lap was, but she was tapping away at whatever it was very intently. It also had a black wire connected to one of the machines that the President had been using earlier. Now that she thought on it, this was the same room.

"Simulation link...?"

"Yep. The Boss wants me to get you a link so that you can enter her Simulation."

Twilight's expression subsequently fell as she heard such an answer. "W-What? Why would I... I don't want to go back there!" she protested, immediately bringing on a violent coughing fit as a result. The hyperventilating didn't help, either, as it brought about a crushing feeling in her chest.

Kinzie didn't even look up from her work, nor did her expression change. "No, the Simulation as you knew it was specifically created for you. Each Simulation is coded to force its occupant to experience their greatest fear. I'm setting up a link for you so you can enter the Boss' simulation, which is where she wants you."

Despite not knowing what the human meant by "coded", Twilight followed her train of thought rather well. "So... It's not Ponyville?"

"No. When the Boss broke out of her first Simulation, Zinyak put her in another one where he thought she'd break down because she didn't control it. Shows what he knows."

Twilight sighed deeply and closed her eyes, shaking her head as she felt a wave of relief wash over her. "Okay..." Immediate fears eased, she began to let her mind wander, trying to think of something to say or ask. As it turned out, she didn't need to.

"So, are there others like you?" Kinzie quipped, peering up at the unicorn. "Or was your Simulation just a nightmare?" The human snickered quietly at something a few seconds later.

"Yes... there are lots of other unicorns at home... Oh!" she answered, the question reminding her of something important. "I-Is there anypony else in the Simulation?!" The unicorn grimaced as her energy in asking came back to hurt her.

"I didn't see any other... ponies," Kinzie started, putting down the black object and starting to fiddle with some sort of table that rested on the floor nearby. "But I wasn't really looking for any candy colored equines either. I found you by accident, actually."

Twilight wasn't sure how to respond to that, though her ears pinned themselves down for her. "... Could you look for them? Please? ... I need to know if my friends are okay." Twilight pleaded softly, earning no visible reaction from the working biped.

"Sure. I'll need you to help me out, though." Twilight heard a door nearby open as somepo- ... "somehuman(?)" walked in. "Just follow the Boss' lead and I'll be able to poke through the Zin's databases." As Kinzie spoke, Twilight glanced away to see who it was. Upon realizing that it was the Boss, she wanted desperately to hide or teleport away, but quickly realized that the President was only getting into one of those weird machines.

"Okay... I can..." The pony paused to swallow. "I can do that..."

"Good. It's ready," the other female uttered, stepping away from the table and then making a gesture towards such. "Climb on, lie down, close your eyes."

Twilight nodded slightly and carefully got on her hooves, finding the action surprisingly easy to accomplish. It hurt quite a bit, but the bookworm felt compelled not to let it affect her too much. With the Boss in the same room, she felt like the tiniest sign of weakness would be an invitation for violence.

She shook her head a little bit as she stood up, starting towards the table. On further inspection, it seemed to be one of the other standing machines just laid on its side. One end was connected to the ceiling on some kind of track (as were all the others, she deduced), while the other was supported by a wheeled cart. It looked haphazard to her, but Twilight dared not refuse.

She reared up to place her front hooves on the table, shaking it gently and finding it stable. Twilight was about to hop up to it, but then she remembered something. "... Um... Kinzie... Why are we doing this...?" she queried, looking at the now sitting human as she worked on that black thing again.

"Define 'this'."

"... Why are we after Zinyak? Why are we going into the President's Simulation?" she pressed, climbing onto the table but not yet lying down.

"Because he made the mistake of attacking us, abducting us, and then destroying the Earth... Our planet, that is." Kinzie's voice retained the same calm tone as before.

Twilight's eyes went wide at this news. If the "Earth" was destroyed by Zinyak, did that mean Equus was gone, too? Twilight couldn't think of anything to say. She shut her eyes and started trying to take deep breaths as she laid down on her side, ignoring how uncomfortable the surface was. The odd things on the sides of the table closed in around her, but she paid that no mind. How could she? As far as she knew, Equus could be gone. There was a chance that she didn't have a home to go back to. "Sweet Celestia, no..." she muttered as she felt a wave of drowsiness wash over her, forcing her eyes shut.

So caught up in the grim, terrifying thoughts of an Equus of rubble was Twilight that she barely even noticed that she was in until she saw the Boss standing nearby. She stood there in her black attire from earlier with an impatient look on her face, though judging by the emptiness of her hands, said expression seemed not as bad. "You took your sweet time," she uttered with an appropriate tone, crossing her arms and staring down at the pony from behind those sunglasses.

Twilight half-absently shrank under the President's stare, backing away a little for fear of more violence. "... I'm sorry..." she uttered quietly, looking down and away. Her jumpsuit was gone, Twilight idly noted.

"Hm? Say that again."

"... I-I'm sorry, Boss..." Twilight repeated a little louder, managing to lift her gaze to the human's feet. "I lost control..."

"You're goddamn right," the biped spat back like a foal winning an argument. "You're lucky I didn't just let Johnny kill you." Twilight swallowed audibly as the Boss continued. "But... I like you. So I made him stop."

A long pause followed, making Twilight feel like a foal being scolded by her mother. She felt like the woman was waiting for her to say something. "... Thank you..." the mare tried, raising her gaze again to see the Boss nodding.

"You're welcome. Now, you get to help me fuck with the Simulation." The President said this as she made some strange purple screen appear in front of her. It was somewhat see-through, and the Boss appeared to be making something happening by tapping and dragging on the "surface."

After several awkward seconds, during which Twilight contemplated trying to say something, the Boss vanished briefly in a short ring of thin red lights. Several yards away, she saw something appear. It was a long, heavy looking thing that stood as tall as she was, obviously a vehicle of some sort if the four wheels were any indication. She had to wonder why they had white stripes on the sides, but that didn't bother her much.

She had to admit that whatever it was, it definitely looked "cool." It was painted a brilliant purple, with large black windows adorning the upper parts of it. Two white stripes stretched lengthwise across the vehicle. Before she could wonder about how it moved, she saw it start to move towards her on its own. Two bright lights beaming from the front blinded her briefly, allowing the thing to roll up next to her.

As her sight returned to her, she realized that the side of the thing had opened, revealing a luxurious looking red interior and a seated human. "... Twilight, you're supposed to get in," the Boss uttered with a tinge of irritation to her tone. The unicorn took the hint and stepped inside, sitting on her haunches on the passenger seat. She noted that there wasn't much headroom, but before she could try to shift her position, the vehicle lurched forward.

"Waaaaaaah!!" she cried, gritting her teeth as the force of acceleration pressed her into the oddly textured seat.

"Whooooooooooooooooooo!!" the Boss let out with a grin, turning a wheel directly in front of her to the right while grasping some sort of lever on her right to yank it up. The vehicle lurched to the right at the same time, and Twilight could feel it sliding sideways for a few seconds before it sped up again.

"Ahh! Ahh! Wh-What is this thing?!" the bookish unicorn yelled, gripping the sides of her seat as hard as she could while her head was on a swivel, looking for something else to hold onto.

The Boss' silence was palpable as she stared at the unicorn, a disbelieving look on her face. "... It's a fucking car..." she replied with no attempt to disguise her frustration. "Do you seriously not know what a car is?"

"No!" came Twilight's answer, seeing something metal on a strip of... grey looking fabric to her upper right. She lit her horn and pulled it closer with her magic, noting that she could pull it down as something unseen fed the strip to her. Fascinated, the pony began pulling on the strip until she ran out of fabric.

She looked around a little more and saw something black and red to her lower left with a slot just big enough for the metal end of whatever she had just grabbed. She made the connection, and inserted the metal end into the slot, hearing a reassuring click as she released her grip on it.

So busy was she with solving the mystery of the seat belt was she that she didn't notice their rapid path towards a strong looking pole. By the time she did, they had already hit it. The Boss let out a long "Fuuuuuuck!" as her body sailed forward, through the dark tinted glass, and several yards through the air before somersaulting midair and landing on her feet. Twilight, on the other hoof, remained in place. She lurched forward, yes, and the impact knocked the wind out of her, but the safety lock of the belt kept her in her seat.

Her dizziness quickly fading, she could now hear Kinzie laughing from somewhere. The Boss looked up angrily and made some sort of angry gesture with one of her fingers. "Yeah, laugh it up!" she yelled before dashing towards the "car" and leaping quite spectacularly back in the way she left. The biped looked at Twilight as Kinzie continued laughing, then at her legs, then ahead. And then she sighed, grabbing one of those same metal tipped objects from her left and mimicking Twilight's discovery with another "click." "Congratulations. You wore your seat belt," she uttered dryly.

Twilight couldn't help herself, and had to bite her lip to stifle the giggles, the vehicle backing up quickly before very rapidly speeding up. With the glass in front of her gone, the wind now blew through her mane quite a lot, forcing the equine to cover her eyes with a hoof and squint.

"I call bullshit," the President uttered, her tone more calm. "Don't know what a car is, but you know how to put on your seat belt juuust fine."

"I figured it out." Twilight said that almost immediately, allowing a little bit of pride to fill her tone. The human next to her grumbled and continued driving.

The Boss managed to avoid any further collisions (head-on collisions, anyway) the rest of the way to their destination, and the trip gave Twilight lots of time to look around. The city of "Steelport," as the Boss called it, seemed most similar to Manehatten back in Equestria. The tightly grouped tall buildings and their appearance bore an uncanny resemblance. But that was about all she could find similar. Manehatten didn't have seemingly hundreds of other "cars" everywhere, and there definitely wasn't any sort of giant red airship dominating most of the skyline.

She also noticed the lack of a moon in the night sky. The occasional glance towards the horizon while driving over water showed that it seemed to be around sunset. Yet she couldn't see a sun either. Perhaps it was merely the Simulation's fault, she mused.

Another thing she noticed was all the propaganda plastered everywhere. On signs, on billboards, even on the sides of some of the taller buildings. All of it was to the effect of "The Zin cannot be stopped," she noted, though as they drove, she saw one particular message that stood out to her: "7 billion paid for your pride." Seven billion? Seven billion humans? Pride? It took Twilight a moment to put the pieces together, but when she did she threw a grim sidelong glance at the driver.

Was the deaths of all those humans really... the President's fault?

Regardless of aesthetics and sobering signs, they soon arrived at their destination, the Boss trying to get out while her belt kept her firmly in place. Twilight easily deduced that pushing the red button would release her, and she stepped out of the "Temptress" before the human could.

However, before she could get her bearings, she heard music begin to play as she was randomly teleported next to the Boss. Before she could question what was going on, she realized that the entirety of the street they were on was decorated like Pinkie was throwing a party for all of Manehatten (throwing the party for the city, not its inhabitants). There were rings floating in the air, colored pink, green, and blue. The pink ones had an image of a very large, strange, and even creepy cat's head in the middle. The blue ones had cars in the middle, and the green ones showed undetailed human shapes.

"Throw people through the green ones, cars through the blue ones, mascot heads through the pink ones," the President quickly explained as a countdown appeared in front of her eyes.

"What?"

"Just watch."

"Welcome back, fans, to special edition of Professor Genki's...

"Mind! Over! Murder!" Two voices emitted from nowhere, both sounding masculine in tone.

"I'm Zach!"

"And I'm Bobby, and we have an interesting match for you tonight!"

"Yep, Steelport's star competitor - The President of the United States of America - just wants more carnage! And it seems she brought a... partner?"

Twilight looked around frantically for the sources of the voices, but soon chalked it up to "Kinziespeak" - speech that she could hear as if the speaker was right next to her without said speaker being visible.

"Oh my god, Zach, is that a unicorn?!" the one called Bobby yelled, sounding completely stunned.

"It is... Bobby, what are you doing?"

"It's adorable! Look at it! Look at it and tell me that's not the cutest thing you've ever seen."

"Uhhh... ehehe... Bobby, I-I think we need to be commentating, not... whatever that is," the voice named Zach emitted nervously.

"... Right, right, sorry..."

Twilight's cheeks were flushed slightly, a result of the unseen announcers gushing over her. "I'm not cute..." she softly denied.

The countdown disappeared and the black clad female started running forward, extending both hands towards one of the aforementioned "mascot heads." Twilight watched and quickly caught on as the head flew towards her until it came to rest in front of the human's hands, being aimed at a pink ring before being tossed. The throw met its mark and fireworks erupted from the ring as it faded away in turn.

"Ooooh! Alright!" Twilight declared, giving her surroundings a once-over before seeing a nearby car filled with bipeds in colorful, animalistic outfits. She quickly lit her horn and picked it up, flinging it at a blue ring without pulling it closer. She missed. "Shit!" she cursed loudly, hearing more fireworks behind her as the Boss efficiently grabbed and tossed with telekinesis.

Electing to try again, she grabbed another car and pulled it closer to her, feeling its considerable weight as she took aim. The car soon sailed through the air and through the ring, pyrotechnics bursting from the goal while a huge smile graced Twilight's features. "Hahaha! I did it!" she yelled triumphantly, looking back at the President to see her finishing with the last visible ring.

"Great!" The Boss' cry was immediately followed by a forceful scoop from her arm, lifting the unicorn onto her back to carry her to the next stop. "Speed it up, though. We're on the clock," she continued leaping very high into the air while the pony hung on for dear life. As they went, the voices came back.

"I was surprised to be pulled back out for another game, Bobby. I thought that the President was done with Mind Over Murder."

"So was I, Zach, but seeing the competitor's partner is totally worth it!" Bobby replied in a rather creepy manner, one that made Twilight's cheeks flush even more.

"Ooookay, Bobby ehe... g-getting a little weird now."

"Thank you very much, Emperor Zinyak! I can't express enough gratitude for this honor you've given me!"

"Bobby! What are you doing?! ... Put that away!"

Twilight shuddered as her mind went "there," though was thankful for their arrival at another site. She hopped off of the Boss' back without a word and immediately saw a green ring and a mascot. Without a shred of hesitation, she picked up the colorful biped and chucked them through the ring, giggling softly at her accomplishment while scanning the area for more. "This is fun...~" she uttered softly to herself, seeing a pink ring and looking for a head. Such an action also let her see a blue ring.

Doing so merely to see if she could, Twilight grabbed a passing car and a crying panda head in her violet telekinetic hold, pulling them close and aiming each before throwing.

"Double goal!" Zach yelled excitedly, though she could feel his excitement fading quickly as a silence fell over the "Kinziespeak" line.

Twilight paid it very little mind, though, frantically dashing towards the President as she punched an advancing mascot hard in the face. "Boss!" she yelled, grabbing all of the baseball bat wielding assailants and throwing all of them at a green ring high in the air. "Whoooo!" she then whooped, making the Boss laugh while completing the rest of the segment with a swiftly thrown head and car. Within seconds, the two were on their way to the next area.

Bobby's voice sounded out next, sounding out of breath. "Ahhh... Alright, where were we, Zach? ... Zach?"

"... That's disgusting, man."

"Hey, don't knock it."

The next two minutes were some of the most fun Twilight had had in a long time. That grin never left her muzzle as she and the President completed the challenge quickly and efficiently. Or, more accurately, Twilight completed the challenge and the President just kinda helped.

As the last human sailed through the last gold ring, an airhorn sounding as they completed the last area. "Done!" the Boss yelled, glancing at a now slightly disappointed unicorn. Oddly enough, Zach and Bobby had nothing to say on the matter...

"Let's do that again!" Twilight yelled back, clapping her front hooves together while laughing heartily.

Prof. Genki's Mind Over Murder
COMPLETE!

Cache: 12,000

20% Bonus

XP: 50

Author's Note

I will say that I don't care for Mind Over Murder that much. I like it well enough and I certainly like it more than Super Power Fight Club (fuck that shit), but my favorites will always be Fraud and Speed Rift.

Also, I hope you guys don't mind what I did with Zach and Bobby, the announcers. I don't know much about them, and I almost omitted them from the chapter. But then I figured I may as well try to write them and fail, rather than not try and get yelled at. And no, I didn't forget about them in the latter part of M.O.M. Your dirty minds should be able to piece it all together... I hope Bobby hasn't earned me a mature rating.

Oh, and another thing. The next chapter may or may not be a bonus, and it may or may not have something to do with romancing, and it may or may not involve something on the Boss' bucket list.

Leave me some comments! Seriously, I fuckin' love comments.

Twilight Tries! (Bonus Chapter!)

Twilight Tries: Mayhem

After their game of Mind Over Murder, that little purple pony had been very energetic and very eager to do another round of the mad Professor's game show. It was a far cry from the equine's previous demeanor to be sure, but the Boss liked it. Moping and winging around didn't often get things done, after all.

"Hahaha! Ahhh... Nah. Kinzie just wants us to go to The Grove and wreck everything. Maybe we can do more M.O.M. later," the human replied, seeing the pony's expression falter for just a moment before springing back up again into happy...-ish mode.

"Okay... But let's hurry!" she replied like a little girl while the Boss opened her HUB, ordering for her Temptress to appear on the street. Seconds later, the President and the pony were zooming down the road at an absurd speed.

Four minutes to cause 700,000 cache worth of damage? With just her stomp power? Piece of cake.

The Boss immediately set about to stomping all over the Grove while Twilight stuck to her Mind Over Murder modus operandi. As the President of the United States sent everything flying with her powerful shockwaves, Twilight picked up after her, tossing cars and people and everything she could find that the Boss had missed. It wasn't a difficult task in the slightest, and the satisfying cache register noise that each bit of damage gave off was more than enough to keep the unicorn invested.

The four minutes had gone by in a flash for them both as the screen faded to black.

Stomp Mayhem
Complete!

Score: 679,010
Silver

Cache: 8,400
20% Bonus

XP: 50

Twilight Tries: Fraud

Twilight lamented her decision to allow herself to be talked into "Fraud" almost immediately. When they arrived at the spot, they were informed that they had three and a half minutes to cause one million cache worth of damage. Twilight had immediately started flinging everything everywhere, but the Boss had stopped her quickly. She then demonstrated what they were meant to do. Seconds later, the Boss was sailing down the street, constantly smacking the ground and leaving a trail of blood splatter with each impact. She had to cringe at each hit, and loudly grimaced as a very large car hit her and sent her fucking flying.

Two minutes later and the unicorn was also soaring through the air, her body spinning like a top as she screamed "WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"

Fraud
Failed

Twilight Tries: Guns

After the utter failure of Twilight's self-destruction performance, the Boss had decided to take Twilight to try something a little different.

Twilight waited in the Temptress while she shopped at Friendly Fire, the trip taking a little over a minute before the Boss returned to the car with nothing to show for it. Nothing obvious, anyways.

A few minutes later, the two were on the roof of the Burns Hill nuke plant. The Boss reached behind her and pulled out a Heavy Pistol, holding it up for the pony to see. "This is a gun," she started, pulling the trigger and grinning as the loud bang startled the unicorn. "My preferred weapons. .45 Fletcher. Take it." The human then spun it around to hold it by its barrel, making sure such wasn't aimed at her kidneys as the equine took it in her magical hold.

She watched the purple one examine the weapon closely, turning it around at every angle to try to understand just what she was holding.

And then it happened. One of the most idiotic things the Boss had ever seen/been involved in.

The President of the United States hadn't had reason to doubt Twilight Sparkle's intelligence before. Even after the enraged attempt on her life, she hadn't come to that conclusion. However, as the pony peered down the barrel of the powerful pistol, the President put a hand out to try and stop her. Her hand nudged the grip of the gun, and somehow shifted it within her telekinetic grasp...

BANG!

With Twilight squinting heavily and the Boss frowning, the pistol was snatched away. "... Just... Just follow me back to the Gateway."

"... Alright... Fuck, that hurts."

Author's Note

So that bonus chapter I promised last chapter? This isn't it. The original bonus chapter seems like it would be better as a normal chapter than a bonus. I know this isn't much, but... well, I really didn't want to write this. But I didn't want to make a liar out of myself, so... yeah.

Leave a comment!

□: Romance Twilight Sparkle

Twilight Sparkle emerged from her Simulated slumber and opened her eyes, glancing around the grey room quietly as she slowly got off of the lying table. Doing so did remind her of the pain in her chest, but she grit her teeth and shook her head. She would endure it.

The Boss appeared to still be in the Simulation, but there were two others also using the machines that she didn't recognize. The first appeared to be a male with dark brown skin akin to Pierce's color, with very short black hair covering a portion of his head. He wore the same grey jumpsuit, as per usual, but nothing else along with it (from what she could see, at least.)

The other was also a darkly skinned male in the same jumpsuit. This one had no hair on his head, but he did wear a greyish scarf loosely around his neck, glasses, and a pair of diamond earrings.

They must be more of the Boss' friends, she deduced as she walked towards a door, though as she did, she noticed one more human connected to the Simulation. This one was also a male, with much lighter skin than the other two strangers. His jumpsuit was opened in the front a little, revealing some of his upper torso and two golden chains of some sort. His hair was black and on his face sat a pair of neat little sunglasses the likes of which Twilight had never seen before...

Or had she? She stared at this human for a few seconds until her brain processed the image and came to a conclusion. This was the human that had stopped her from killing the Boss. This was the one that had hit her with something, tackled her to the ground, and beaten her until the President had stopped him.

It was an odd mix of both fear and gratitude that the unicorn now felt as she eyed this man, her breathing quickening a little as the wounds he had inflicted hurt just a little more in turn. Who was he, she pondered as she watched him, though she soon recalled her first conversation with the Boss post-freakout. This human must be "Johnny," she then concluded.

A moment later, she got herself to stop as she took a deep breath through her mouth, feeling how dry her tongue felt/tasted. "... I suppose it's time for lunch..." she muttered to herself as she turned away from the Boss' own savior, leaving the room through one of the doors.

Instead of the set of three doors from earlier, though, she saw that there was a railed walkway that continued straight on for a few yards to another door, as well as two sets of curving steps going down closer to her door. She couldn't see any other humans from where she stood, but she could faintly hear music from directly beneath and behind her. There were also dull but easily audible thuds and thumps coming from below and to the right.

Twilight began walking across the walkway, her hoofsteps loudly announcing her presence to those nearby as she headed towards the door in front of her. As she did, though, the impact sounds stopped, prompting the unicorn to look towards their former source.

Another human stood near what appeared to be a punching bag, staring back up at her with what was probably confusion (human eyes being so small, it was difficult to tell from that distance). This one appeared female (Twilight's deduction that "chest lumps equal female" seemed more and more accurate), jumpsuit clad with the top few inches unzipped and a black turtleneck underneath. Her black hair hung more on the left side of her head, a bang or two perpetually hanging in her face.

Twilight could feel the stranger's gaze, as if she was being sized up, evaluated. It made her nervous, to say the least, and as her heartbeat sped up with her breathing, she grimaced at the following pain and discomfort. She turned her gaze back towards the door, then the watching human... and then she hesitantly continued towards the door.

Once she was out of the woman's sight, the thudding resumed. Passing the stairs, the door was flanked by two tiny hallways that led only to a wall with a tiny, triangular window with a view that the equine didn't even consider investigating. All she could see was black at first glance, so she shook her head and approached the door.

When the door "whooshed" open, Twilight's jaw dropped at what she saw. The room was, of course, grey and lousy with those weird, glowing screens and buttons. A few chairs stood near these screens, none of them occupied. But those little details didn't matter much to the Bearer of Magic, as two sights captured her attention.

The first was the very front of the room. Through very large windows, Twilight Sparkle had a spectacular view of space that only got more beautiful and awe inspiring as she slowly stepped into the room. "Wooooow..." she emitted quietly as she stopped in the center of the new room, her voice catching the attention of the other sight.

Said other sight was another human female that looked at her over her shoulder, allowing the unicorn a more detailed view of the woman. Aside from the standard issue grey garb, it was unzipped down to where those chest lumps seemed to end, providing a view that held the pony's gaze for a second longer than Twilight intended. Around her neck was a choker/necklace of some kind, golden and segmented into tiny rectangles and connected by a thin string. She wore a pair of diamond earrings not unlike those of the second stranger she had seen previously. Her brown hair was tied up in a style that Twilight could only equate to a braided bun, yet was simultaneously messy with two long bangs hanging in front of her face.

The woman's green eyes regarded the little unicorn with surprise first, then with caution, possibly hostility. They finally settled on an expression that Twilight guessed was either curiosity or well contained amusement. "So you're the little unicorn, huh..." she finally uttered in a voice that seemed naturally irate and vaguely familiar. A brief reflection connected this voice to one that she had heard during their escape from Zinyak's ship. "I thought you'd be taller."

That comment got the bookish unicorn to raise an eyebrow. The angry undertone of the human's voice halted a snarky comeback that Twilight's subconscious was cooking up, however. Giving the thought a fleeting "where'd that come from," she offered a slight smile and a nervous expression. "I am... Um... you're..." she replied, trailing off as she tried to remember this human's name. "... Shanty, right?"

The woman cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms, her face initially disapproving before she sputtered into a short, quiet chuckle. "Shanty?" she repeated, now smiling. "Woooow. That's bad. No, it's Shaundi." A brief pause, during which the human held her hands loosely behind her back and resumed staring out the windows in the front. "And you're the unicorn that tried to kill the Boss."

Twilight visibly cringed as her enraged error came up again, adopting an apologetic expression as her ears and head lowered. "I know... I-I know... Sorry..." she offered, unsuccessfully trying not to remember the incident. A few seconds of silence from Shaundi didn't make it any better, allowing the bookworm to both regret her mistake and predict more worst case scenarios.

"... Ehhhh... don't worry about it too much."

"... Wait, what...?" came Twilight's response, looking back up at Shaundi with a degree of shock.

The woman continued without looking away from the starry void before them. "Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed off. But I'm not gonna act like I haven't wanted to punch the stupid out of her before." Shaundi's expression softened just slightly, her arms crossing again as she glanced down to the unicorn. "So many of the Boss' "plans" from the past were just... mind-numbingly idiotic."

Twilight sensed an opportunity. "... Like what?"

Shaundi let out a soft, emotion-free sigh before she began. "Well, our first few minutes in Steelport spring to mind. The Boss wanted to pick a fight with the fucking military..."

Twilight sat on her haunches and listened as Shaundi began telling stories and ranting, forgetting about her thirst as she repeatedly questioned how the President was still alive.

As the Boss, Benjamin "Motherfucking" King, Vice President Keith David, and Johnny Gat sped down the highway, they were unusually silent. Normally, there would be music playing, maybe a bit of singing, and some idle chatter between them, but nobody had said a word for the last several minutes.

"... So, she seriously shot herself?" came Johnny's welcome attempt to break the silence.

The Boss sighed and nodded, her purple Infeugo's kneecappers slicing the tires off yet another unfortunate vehicle. "She had it for ten fucking seconds and decided "Hey, I'm gonna look down this big hole even though I know what these do." It was just... holy fuck," came the Boss' reply, with an attempted impression of the purple pony that got Johnny to snicker and her running mate to chuckle.

"What, she never seen a gun before?" a smirking Gat let out, not disguising his amusement. The Boss could practically feel Ben King correcting her friend's grammar.

"I thought the same thing before, and I think she hasn't. Either that, or we beat her to stupidity."

"Speaking of which," the VP cut in. "What happened? Why'd... fuck, whatsername... Twilight go Vader on you?"

It took the President of the United States a moment to remember. When Twilight was choking her out, the Boss hadn't been listening "She wanted to be taken home. I said no. And then she went crazy."

King spoke up this time. "You know you could've-"

"-Said "yet." I know, I know," the black clad woman replied with a shake of her head. She let her gaze wander downwards a little, eying the speedometer disinterestedly as she reflected on her choices of words, never mind what she had done to the unicorn.

The Boss rarely felt regret for anything, and when she did, she made damn sure not to show it. This was no exception, and she quickly picked her eyes back up to watch the road. But the leader of the Saints kept thinking about her. For once in her life, the puckish rogue thought about why Twilight might have reacted the way she did.

Twilight seemed like... well, a scared little girl at first. The unicorn probably wasn't as used to violence as she was. Despite likely being murdered over and over again for over a year, she seemed reluctant to acknowledge her violent side. The unicorn obviously had one, if the Mad Professor's game was any indication, yet Twilight had apologized both before she lost consciousness and after she entered virtual Steelport for the first time. She claimed to have "lost control."

"... Well, shit..." she muttered, coming out of her autopilot reflection just in time to see a garbage truck getting closer as they zoomed towards it. Her passengers had already wisely bailed out of the car. The Boss just sighed as she hit the truck, went flying through the windshield, and bonked her head on the trash truck's backside. "... Well... shit!" she groaned as she got up, rubbing her temples as the truck they had hit sped off at its top speed. She let out an irate sigh and watched as the three men that were riding with her dashed up to her with varying levels of irritation.

"How the hell did you get your license?" King quipped, frowning and adjusting his own network sunglasses.

"The fuck, Boss?" Gat protested.

The black clad woman just groaned and shook her head. "I'm bailing. I'm fucking tired," she lied, walking towards and then past her Vice President, Chief of Staff, and best friend. "Get uh... Get Pierce or Shaundi in here instead." With her excuse made, she super sprinted off, leaping into the air and gliding away.

The three just stood there for a second before Gat chuckled. "She didn't."

The Boss sighed as she stepped out of her Simulation link, taking a quick glance at the three men still in the Simulation before walking out towards the bridge. She could hear Asha beating on her punching bag pretty fiercely as she headed towards the stairs, but she could also hear chatter coming from the bridge, along with the occasional giggle.

"I guess Twilight's met Shaundi..." the leader of the Saints muttered, heading down the staircase on her right and entering the rec room. Upon doing so, and seeing her Communications Director snoozing on the couch, near the door, she snatched his trilby and dropped it on his face. When Pierce became aware, she pointed over her shoulder with a thumb. "Tag. You're it."

"Auughh... Alright, alright... Shit..." he replied, getting up from the couch before replacing his hat and leaving the room, leaving the Boss alone. Rather than passing out on the now vacant sofa, however, the woman began to wander the ship, searching for something...

"You're being serious... Wow..." Twilight chuckled as Shaundi finished the tale of the demise of Phillipe Loren, the two having since moved to sit in the corner of the room.

"Yep! Really flattened the bastard!" Shaundi replied, grinning a big grin as she finished. "Oooof... You know, you're not half bad for a purple unicorn," she then commented, smiling a little more.

"Heyyyyy, what's that supposed to mean?" the mare retorted, laughing right back and doing pretty well in ignoring the subsequent pain. As she calmed down, she got up off her haunches and stretched a little, groaning softly and swallowing. She remembered her thirst and offered the woman an apologetic smile before she started walking towards the door. "I need something to eat. Thank you, Shaundi," she offered politely as she moved to leave the helm.

"Eh. Don't worry about it. It's kinda refreshing to talk to someone who isn't really... well, one of us yet."

Twilight stopped at the door, and backed up to give Shaundi a quizzical look. "What... do you mean?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head, messy mane getting in her face before she cleared it with her magic.

Shaundi blinked once and turned back to the unicorn, 'err'ing a little as she seemingly chose her words. "You're... You're not... ughhh... You're the only one of us that isn't really... Ughhh... Never mind..."

Twilight nodded slowly in acknowledgement, turning away and leaving the bridge. She headed towards the cargo bay and then went through the door near the couch to find food.

A short meal of a cheese sandwich and water later, Twilight was curled up on the rec room couch, levitating four billiard balls above her as she idly played with them. It had been a long time since the unicorn had been bored. A very long time.

Twilight Sparkle missed books. She hadn't even thought about books since her initial abduction, but now that she was alone without direction, it was killing her. Figuratively, she clarified to herself. The "swanky" looping music on the speakers had already been turned off and the room was now silent, only broken by the ambient noises of the ship itself and the occasional bit of unintelligible speech from a distant Kinzie.

She sighed and dropped the balls back on their table, laying on all fours as she idly scanned the room with those big violet orbs. Her mind began to drift and eventually she settled on... one possibility... She could do that... But surely that wouldn't be right... She didn't need to do that... She didn't particularly want to do that...

And yet there she was, staring at a comic book lying on a chair on the other side of the room. Comics are Spike's thing, though, she thought, looking away and instead finding herself missing the little guy even more. She now wished for a way to send a letter. She would have to remember to find some paper and a quill.

Her eyes fell on the comic book again... "'Nyteblade'..." she uttered softly, thinking on it for a moment before beginning to levitate the thin pages over to the couch.

Only to drop them on the floor when a familiar face suddenly peeked around a wall and scared the poor unicorn half to death. "AHHHH!" she yelled, scampering off the couch and falling to the floor as the pain in her chest returned. "B-Boss! Please! Stop doing that!" she then begged as the leader of the Saints utterly failed to stifle her laughter.

"Nope!" she laughed, doing so harder as she said so. "It'll never not be funny!"

The unicorn grumbled as she climbed back onto the couch, lying down on all fours again as the Boss approached, standing over the violet mare with an expression that seemed... nervous?

"Sooooo... Twilight..." the Boss began, clenching her left fist while tucking hair behind her ears with her right hand. "I've been meaning to ask you about something... And I'm not going to lie... I never thought I'd be asking a pony this..."

Twilight stared up at the Boss with curiosity and confusion, the pain in her chest now reduced to a dull ache. The mare had to wonder where she was going with this, but quickly came to a conclusion.

Twilight's literary travels had led her to a romance novel or two, she wouldn't lie. And one came to mind as she watched the human's behavior. Now that she was closer and not wearing those sunglasses, she could see those red eyes of hers constantly switching between an unsteady stare and a frantic avoidance of her own gaze. ... Up close, they were actually a pretty color...

Coupled with the flushing of her pale cheeks, however, and Twilight found herself blushing rather quickly. She isn't...

"I think I've done a good job of keeping it to myself, but... well, there's something I've always wanted to do... And since you're here...

Oh sweet Celestia, she is, Twilight inwardly panicked, trying desperately to think of a way to reject the Boss' advance. She wasn't interested! She really wasn't! And yet fear started nagging her that she had better not refuse, lest she invoke the Boss' wrath.

Perhaps Twilight could fight her off? But then the rest of the Saints would try to kill her! ... But she could kill them! She had magic - so much magic - and they didn't! But then she could never get home... Why on Equus was she even considering doing something like that?!

"So... Twilight... Uhhhh... Well..." the Boss awkwardly emitted, rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand in an odd manner.

The mare lost her train of thought and braced herself for the conclusion, gritting her teeth and watching the Boss' expression like a hawk.

"Can I..." she started, Twilight now quickly finding the bling-adorned shark to her right very intriguing. "... brush your mane?"

Twilight froze, then glanced back at the human. She was holding a brush that looked like it had been made from random bits and pieces of metal and some sort of thick cord. As if the Boss had made it herself.

"I'm... not being weird, am I?" the President asked uneasily, anxiously smiling. It was another expression the Boss never thought she'd see.

The spellcaster quickly shook her head, her messy mane going everywhere accordingly. "No! Nonono!" she frantically denied, cursing herself for believing such asinine things. "I'd actually... really like that.. It's just you were... I thought... Uh..."

"Thought what?" the Boss replied, sitting next to Twilight and running the makeshift bristles across her palm. No bleeding.

"It's... I thought you wanted to..."

The Boss caught on immediately, despite the trailing off. Twilight Sparkle never thought she'd see the Boss looking horrified either. "What!? No! A-Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm not some weird fucking... horsefucker! No! Gross!" she rather flusteredly stated, her cheeks now bright red. "Seriously, what the fuck, Twilight?"

"I... I..." She was at a loss for words. Before she could come up with any, though, the Boss began to brush. It felt great. The Boss worked the homemade brush and her left hand's fingers through the unicorn's purple mane, and Twilight just relaxed and let her. Sure, the improvised bristles weren't particularly nice when the Boss put too much pressure into it, but she was able to enjoy it nonetheless. "Thank you... but... why did you have to make a brush?" she quipped, wincing as the woman began working out as many tangles as she could.

"Because there weren't any on the ship. Dismantled a Zin rifle and cut up that whip CID keeps in his room and... well, here it is. I think I did pretty okay, considering what I had," the Boss replied as she cursed a particularly tough knot of the purple mane she was working with.

A silence fell over the two as the Boss worked again, with the pony shifting to sit on her haunches on the couch so that the human could reach her mane more easily.

A few minutes later, though, the Boss spoke up again. "... Damn... some of these knots... I just wanna fucking cut them," she complained. Twilight glanced back at the human and sighed.

"Eh... Go ahead, I guess..." Twilight permitted. "I can always ask Rarity to fix my mane when I get home."

The Boss inwardly cringed at the use of that last word. Home. Damn, if she didn't want to go home so badly. The Boss wanted nothing more than a nice hot shower, a hot Chicago style deep dish pizza with a Coke, and to sleep in a fucking bed again.

But her own desires aside, it reminded her of what she had originally wanted to do when she planned this little occurence. And yet... "I'll be right back..." she uttered, stepping out of the rec room and to the crates nearby where Johnny usually perched. She took the man's knife off of one of the crates, and in spotting his pistol, she elected to hide it from obvious view before Twilight could possibly shoot herself again.

Sighing, she returned to the mare and reseated herself, opening her mouth to say what she meant to. "So... Who's Rarity?" Failure to do so aside, she ignored the slight surprise on Twilight's face at the knife's size as she began working with the brush again, occasionally picking up the knife to cut through the really stubborn knots and tangles.

"Oh... She's one of my friends back in Ponyville... She's a dressmaker. A very good one, too. Very much a fashionista." Twilight paused for a sad chuckle, her ears lowering a little. It worked for her, though; the Boss didn't want to slice one off. "... If she saw me looking like this, I think she'd foalnap me and not let me leave her boutique until I was the most elegant unicorn in Ponyville!" Twilight's voice changed a little towards the end in what she assumed was an impression of her friend.

"Seems... nice," the Boss said, not having much else to say on the matter.

Again, silence. As the Boss continued, though, she noted that she was making some progress with Twilight Sparkle's mane. She was no stylist, and was instead working on straightening the mare's messy mop of a mane. That pink streak was starting to become a streak again.

Again, she wanted to say it. She was still building up the courage to say it... and it didn't help that Twilight telekinetically pulled a Nyteblade comic off of the floor. She examined the cover with vague interest. "... What is Nyteblade?"

The Boss smirked a bit and managed a chuckle. "Not you too," she joked, though Twilight didn't seem to get it. "Ahhh... he's a vampire that hunts vampires. If you really want to know about him, just ask Matt about him... As long as you're fine with him going all fanboy on you."

"Okay," Twilight quietly noted, cracking the comic open and beginning to read. The Boss just sighed and braced herself and her image.

"I'm sorry."

Twilight blinked once. Twice. Thrice. She set down the comic and looked back at the Boss, her violet eyes wide and disbelieving. "W-What did y-"

"I said I'm sorry," the Boss repeated, ceasing her work on the mare's mane as she looked down at the floor. "I was an asshole to you before and you didn't deserve it, so... I'm sorry," she uttered quickly like a foal being made to apologize to a playmate. Immediately after finishing her sentence, the human let out a very deep breath and smiled. "Alright... Glad I got that off my chest," she emitted, returning to her work.

"Um... th-... thank you, Boss..." the unicorn stammered, shocked over what she had just heard. The Boss she knew just a few seconds ago was capable of emotion, but was also unapologetic and tactless. That... Even for the short time Twilight had known the President, she had trouble comprehending it.

For better or worse, she didn't get long to think on it. "So, been meaning to ask you... What's with the tattoo on your ass?"

Aaaaaaaand she's back, Twilight thought with a giggle.

These "cutie marks" were... definitely something. The concept both made her chuckle and think. Not about the nature of the equine butt marks, but rather of what her own cutie mark would be if she had one... Would it be a fleur de lis? A gun? A fist? Money? She wasn't sure.

But Twilight Sparkle had earned hers, apparently, by magically turning a room full of ponies into plants and such and nearly causing a magical catastrophe. Only her idol, Princess Celestia, had stopped her, and that was how she earned her cutie mark in a nutshell, more or less.

"That's... definitely a thing," the Boss commented a few seconds after Twilight's story ended, nearing the end of Twilight's mane.

"... So... you humans don't have magic, then?" Twilight queried shortly after. The Boss could have sworn that she had heard that bit before, but answered anyway.

"Nope. Only 'magic' we had was either just parlor tricks or religious shit," she briefly summarized, clapping once as she finished with the mare's mane. "Alright, want me to do your tail?"

The unicorn looked up at her now clean mane, shook her head a little to make the streaked hair flop around, and then nodded. The human smirked and collected the messy tail until she could hold it all in her fist at the base. She got to work.

Several more minutes passed as the President of the United States and the Bearer of Magic sat on the rec room couch, making idle conversation every now and then while Twilight's purple tail was brushed out.

Twilight found herself coming back to one particular thought as they sat there, however. Not a thought of home, or a thought of revenge, or even a thought of her friends. It was about the Boss. About her supposed former home, Earth. She remembered a sign that she had seen back in the Simulation: "7 billion paid for your pride."

She looked back at the Boss. She was caught up in straightening her tail, focused and determined to use that knife as little as possible, it seemed. She looked content... Twilight almost didn't want to ask and possibly ruin things.

What if she reacts violently, her pessimism nagged. The thought of such a thing made her chest hurt slightly. On the other hoof, the question was bugging her very hard... She was dying to know.

She agonized over the question for a long while; long enough for the Boss to nearly finish.

Twilight took a deep breath and began piecing together what she would say in the least offensive way possible...

"Alright, done." The Boss' words startled Twilight a little, but she looked back nonetheless. Her tail looked normal again.

"Thank you, Boss," Twilight replied absently, managing a smile as the Boss began picking the brush clean without a word. The unicorn took another deep breath and turned around to face the human, sitting on her haunches.

Now or never.

"I've... been meaning to ask you, Boss..." Twilight began, earning the Boss' gaze and meeting it gingerly. Her ears lowered and she offered a forced smile. Her voice locked up and refused to work, making the human raise an eyebrow.

"You've been meaning to ask meeeee..." she stated, moving her free hand in a circle in a "get on with it" sort of gesture.

"Ughh... Sorry... I'm just... Something's been bugging me..." Twilight grimaced and cursed herself for straying off her internal script. "... When we were driving before, I saw some kind of sign on a wall..." She paused, trying to calm herself and convince herself to continue. "... It said... '7 billion paid for your pride'..." The human's expression didn't change much, but the unicorn noticed how it did. Her small red eyes narrowed slightly, and her jaw shifted a little as the President grit her teeth. "I need to know... What does that mean?"

The President stared at Twilight for several long, awkward seconds in total silence. The unicorn now greatly regretted her decision, but her curiosity kept her there long enough for the human to let out a deep, frustrated sigh. "... When Zinyak abducted me, he put me in a Simulation of a 50's sitcom," she began, looking down at the brush and starting to pick Twilight's tail fur out of the makeshift bristles. Twilight watched the woman carefully, trying to catch the Boss' more subtle body language. "Kinzie found me after I figured out that it wasn't real, and long story short, I began to try and escape.

"Zinyak showed up as a sherrif with a shotgun... I killed him, but then he showed up to take me out of that Simulation and put me in the new one. When he did, he told me that if I tried to run again, he'd destroy the Earth." The hand holding the brush tightened its hold on the handle and Twilight could faintly hear her grinding her teeth. The unicorn had already put two and two together at this point, but she allowed the Boss to continue. "... I escaped, and Kinzie and Keith got me off Zinyak's ship."

The Boss paused again, and she stole a quick glance back at the violet pony before looking at the brush again. It was very fast, but Twilight didn't miss the shimmering in the Boss' eyes. "We flew back to Earth and tried to call Oleg..." Ignoring the unknown name, Twilight instead picked up on the contained, but building rage in her tone. "... And he blew it up. That stupid alien motherfucker blew it up right in front of us!" The brush was placed on the couch and the biped stood up, beginning to pace around the room. Twilight shrank into the couch just a little for fear of becoming an outlet for the human's rage. "'Well, I'd say this was a productive day,' he said," she kept on, imitating Zinyak's vaguely remembered voice. "'I told you this would happen,' he said-MOTHERFUCKER!"

Twilight gasped sharply and made herself as small as possible in response to the Boss' furious outburst, watching as the human grabbed a pool cue from the table and smashed it against one of the oddly shaped chairs on the other side of the room. Each loud "CRACK" made her cringe and shiver, though the cue only lasted four strikes before snapping in half in her hands. "ARGHHHHH!" she yelled, tossing the broken stick at the wall before harshly kicking the same chair with a scream. Despite it being bolted to the floor, the metal and plastic dented heavily. Another kick, and it budged slightly. One last strike knocked the chair onto its side with a loud "CLANG."

The Boss did not strike again, however, limping slightly as she returned to the couch. Every inch of her body was shaking with rage, her teeth bared and clenched and her eyes narrowed. Twilight, on the other hoof, was shaking out of fear, her breathing quickening as the angry biped approached.

However, she was not stricken, nor was she yelled at. Instead, the Boss sat next to the mare and growled lowly, shutting her eyes tightly. She put one fist in the other and pushed, a series of oddly satisfying crunches issuing forth from her hands. She did so with the other hand, then let out a long, angry sigh. Her red eyes opened, shimmering. Twilight slowly uncurled from her frightened ball and shifted closer to the Boss. She was very clearly fighting tears, and succeeding.

"... I called his bluff, and I called wrong," the President finally said, shaking her head slightly. "I thought I could maybe kill him before he could do it... And I was wrong." She paused, and the mare drew closer until she was barely an inch from the biped's form. "Seven billion people, my home, my country, my world... all gone because of me..."

"... You... did what you needed to do..." Twilight uttered half-absently, her tone uneven and even unsure of itself. "It's not your fault." The woman slowly glanced up at the mare, still fighting tears as she met Twilight's eyes. "You couldn't have known if he was serious."

The Boss sniffled and managed a soft chuckle, a tear or two escaping as she put a hand on the unicorn's head to lightly scritch at her ears. Twilight couldn't ignore how nice it felt, but she still maintained her gaze on the Boss' eyes. "... It's... fine Twilight. I know what I did wrong..." she replied, her efforts to fight her sorrow crumbling and seeping into her voice. "... All that's left now... is Zinyak... I'm going to kill him... I'm going to rip his fucking head off and stuff it in that shark's mouth." A long pause came after those words, the Boss trying to collect herself and hide her tears.

Twilight had a thought. "... I'm with you, Boss," she began, putting a hoof on the woman's knee and capturing her gaze once more. "To the end." Those three words were filled with utter certainty. Twilight meant it. Zinyak would meet his end, and Twilight wouldn't rest until the Boss had her revenge.

Then the Boss surprised her again. She found herself pulled into a tight embrace, the leader of the Saints resisting for about a minute before allowing herself to quietly weep. Slowly, the mare returned the favor, just allowing the human to cry before eventually beginning to break down and joining her.

A good twenty minutes passed before the two calmed themselves and separated, with the Boss leaning back on the couch while Twilight laid on her side next to her. As she stroked Twilight's ear, she allowed herself a soft smile, sighing softly before she spoke. "... Thank you, Twilight... But... uh... none of this happened, alright?"

The pony softly nodded and the woman smiled a little more.

"Good..."

"Boss!" the sound of Kinzie's voice rang out, followed by the footsteps of three of her crew approaching. Kinzie, Matt, and Keith David soon stood in the door of the rec room. "Problem!"

The Boss took a moment to compose herself before answering. "What happened?"

"Celestia's in Steelport!"

The Boss and Twilight's eyes widened as they looked at each other, simultaneously uttering a heartfelt "Shit!"

Author's Note

Yep. I gave the Boss actual emotions (besides ass kicking). She can't be a total sociopath all the time.

I enjoyed writing this chapter. Twas satisfying. I hope all of you like this, too!

Next up, Twilight's loyalty mission!

Leave me some comments! Seriously, your feedback is what keeps me going on this stuff.

Romance Twilight Sparkle: What You All Expected (Bonus Chapter!)

Author's Note

And here's the other way last chapter could've gone, ya sick dishwashers. Another bonus chapter. Because let's face it, you were all expecting this.

Leave some feedback!

Voyeurism!

Romance Twilight Sparkle: What You All Expected (Bonus Chapter!)

Twilight was curled up on the rec room couch, levitating four billiard balls above her as she idly played with them. It had been a long time since the unicorn had been bored. A very long time.

Twilight Sparkle missed books. She hadn't even thought about books since her initial abduction, but now that she was alone without direction, it was killing her. Figuratively, she clarified to herself. The "swanky" looping music on the speakers had already been turned off and the room was now silent, only broken by the ambient noises of the ship itself and the occasional bit of unintelligible speech from a distant Kinzie.

She sighed and dropped the balls back on their table, laying on all fours as she idly scanned the room with those big violet orbs. Her mind began to drift and eventually she settled on... one possibility... She could do that... But surely that wouldn't be right... She didn't need to do that... She didn't particularly want to do that...

And yet there she was, staring at a comic book lying on a chair on the other side of the room. Comics are Spike's thing, though, she thought, looking away and instead finding herself missing the little guy even more. She now wished for a way to send a letter. She would have to remember to find some paper and a quill.

Her eyes fell on the comic book again... "'Nyteblade'..." she uttered softly, thinking on it for a moment before beginning to levitate the thin pages over to the couch.

Only to drop them on the floor when a familiar face suddenly peeked around a wall and scared the poor unicorn half to death. "AHHHH!" she yelled, scampering off the couch and falling to the floor as the pain in her chest returned. "B-Boss! Please! Stop doing that!" she then begged as the leader of the Saints utterly failed to stifle her laughter.

"Nope!" she laughed, doing so harder as she said so. "It'll never not be funny!"

The unicorn grumbled as she climbed back onto the couch, lying down on all fours again as the Boss approached, standing over the violet mare with an expression that seemed... nervous?

"Sooooo... Twilight..." the Boss began, clenching her left fist while tucking hair behind her ears with her right hand. "I've been meaning to ask you about something... And I'm not going to lie... I never thought I'd be asking a pony this..."

Twilight stared up at the Boss with curiosity and confusion, the pain in her chest now reduced to a dull ache. The mare had to wonder where she was going with this, but quickly came to a conclu-

Twilight's train of thought was cut off when the Boss sat down, put a hand on the side of Twilight's head, and kissed her. It was a short kiss, but it still got the mare to blush and to flail about comically.

"Wanna fuck?"

Twilight stared at the Boss with wide eyes and a disbelieving expression. "E... Excuse me...?"

"Good enough." And then the mare was pressed down into the couch, any protests muted by a set of human lips. Twilight started to struggle underneath the human, but then she felt a hand on her horn...

Kinzie watched as the four males in the Simulation caused havok on the streets of virtual Steelport, occasionally giving them a warning or just talking back when spoken to. And she didn't stop until she heard an odd noise come from the rec room.

Curious, she tapped into the ship's security systems and glanced at the camera feeds for the rec room. Her jaw subsequently dropped and her eyes subsequently widened at what she saw. "... What the fuck, Boss..." she uttered quietly, tapping a few keys and returning her attention to King, Gat, Pierce and Keith. "Guys, come back for a sec... you should see this."

It wasn't long until the entire gang was gathered around Kinzie's laptop, watching the camera feed with slack jaws and reactions ranging from shock to laughter to disgust to deciding to leave in CID's case.

They all watched, unable to look away, whether they particularly wanted to or not.

Loyalty - The Circle is Now Complete

Twilight opened her eyes as she and the Boss appeared in the streets of Simulated Steelport, the former glancing around frantically to try and see her resurrected mentor. She could not. "... Where is she?" she queried, looking at the Boss as said human rather calmly accessed her "HUB".

"Ehhh... Looks like she's at the airport," the woman replied, seeing her looking at what she presumed to be a map of Steelport. "If you're worried about time, don't be. We could sit here with our thumbs up our asses for hours and the bitch'd be content to do the same."

Labeling these "thumbs" as an "ask later", Twilight walked up next to the biped, watching her from below as she did some other things with the screen before dismissing it. "How in Tartarus does that work?"

The Boss immediately responded with a shrug. "Fucked if I know. But I'm not complaining!" she followed up, summoning her Temptress and appearing inside. Twilight considered teleporting into the passenger seat, but elected to just run over and get in the easy way. She glanced at the Boss briefly and saw her on her HUB again, this time messing with something that seemed to have to do with music.

Before she knew it, some sort of song was playing from somewhere with incredible clarity that a record could never hope to match. The Boss chuckled and started tapping the wheel with her fingers as she sped off, promptly remindng the unicorn to put on that belt before she could potentially be flung through the windshield.

Twilight, however, was not enjoying the music as much as the Boss, instead dreading the encounter that she knew was coming. The fact that her idol's impostor was in the Boss' own Simulation was... nervewracking, to say the least.

But here, things were different. She had her magic here. She wouldn't have to rely on the Boss for protection like she had previously.

Twilight could fight. And she would. As much as she was dreading the encounter, she couldn't help but picture a clash between her and her fake teacher.

She began to fantasize about victory. She imagined herself besting "Celestia," overpowering her through sheer magical might, stomping the alicorn into a messy, mangled pulp... A dark, devious smile curved the mare's muzzle, beginning to fidget in place in anticipation.

Fuck the anxiety, she was excited! ... And as soon as she came to that conclusion, her grin vanished, replaced by a solemn, disappointed frown. She backed up her train of thought and looked at herself.

I was just thinking about killing Princess Celestia... and enjoying it, she informed herself, turning her gaze down to her hooves. Barely even reacting to a sudden skid and collision on the Boss' part, she grit her teeth. What would the real Princess Celestia think if she knew? The thought chilled her to her core, making her shiver in place and shake her head.

"So, what is she to you?" came a voicing from the Boss, derailing Twilight's thoughts and getting her attention as the song changed.

"Huh?"

"I said 'What is sh-'"

"No, no, I heard you..." she interrupted, sighing deeply and shaking her head again. "She was my teacher and mentor since I was a filly."

"Meant a lot to you, huh?" the Boss pressed, displaying surprising awareness to the unicorn.

Twilight merely nodded, watching out her window as they zoomed down the road at ridiculous speeds. "And I... can't wait to kill her."

The Boss reacted by grinning and stopping the car in the middle of the road. Ignoring the irritating beeping from the cars behind her, she put the mildly damaged supercar in park and turned her attention to the pony. "That's a good thing," she uttered with certainty. "You start hesitating when we're fighting her, you're gonna get your ass kicked."

Twilight looked the Boss in the eye through those sunglasses of hers, biting her lip as she tried to think of something to say. But she couldn't. What could she possibly say? Both options seemed like lose-lose scenarios.

If she lost her nerve while fighting Celestia, she would likely get herself killed, and perhaps the Boss along with her. If they both died, who knew what could happen?

If she fought the fraudulent Princess... Such violence... She imagined herself going completely and utterly insane...

"Nngh..." she emitted, turning away from the President and staring at her hooves.

The last few minutes of their ride were spent in relative silence, only the music playing from nowhere keeping it from becoming awkward. How can any silence be awkward when Haddaway is playing?

Regardless of her musical tastes, the Boss eventually reached the airport as Kinzie began speaking to her over the song.

"The Princess is leading an army of Zin your way," she began as the human got out of the car, ignoring Twilight as she followed suit. "I think she's killable this time, but you'd better not waste time. I don't think Zinyak's going to let you kill her the same way."

"Figures. So, what, no bullshit, just killing?"

"If you two are quick. If her shields go up, you'll need Twilight to keep them down."

The Boss turned to the unicorn - who now stood right beside her - and frowned as the pony just nodded softly.

"Twiliiiight," she pressed, crossing her arms. "Don't do this."

"... I know, I know... I'll do it..." she conceded, shaking her head and sighing. "Doesn't mean I have to like it..."

The Boss had a thought and grinned slightly. "Try. Seriously, don't knock it till you try it."

Twilight winced and shook her head, walking away a little as she started speaking. "I'm not you!" she yelled as the Boss crossed her arms. "... I... I don't like killing! I don't want to kill!"

The human raised an eyebrow and shook her head as well. She was no genius, but she could spot Twilight's brand of bullshit. She wasn't exactly a brilliant liar. "Uh-huh. So your begging to do more Genki earlier was just my imagination?"

The unicorn blinked once, frowned, and stamped her hooves. "Th-That was... was..." she started, her visage angry until she realized that the Boss was right. "... I don't know why I was like that... That wasn't me...." she then tried.

The leader of the Saints gave a disbelieving "mmm-hmmm" in reply, walking towards her before stopping right in front of her in an effort to be imposing. "Wasn't you? It sure looked like you. That, and you seemed pretty damn disappointed when I said 'no' to more Genki."

"I don't care!" the mare yelled, her anger returning as she grit her teeth and seemingly did her best to look big in front of the woman. "I'm not a killer! I don't like it...! I don't..."

The Boss uncrossed her arms and turned away, throwing her hands up in "defeat." "Fine. You just keep telling yourself that," she uttered, looking back over her shoulder as she did so. When she looked ahead, though, she saw what Kinzie had been speaking about.

Indeed, there certainly was an army at the airport, marching down the runway on foot, in their hover cars, hover tanks, hover bikes, and their UFO VTOL things. Never mind the... marauders... Seriously, there were so many motherfucking marauders that the Boss couldn't help but cringe.

And then there was the Princess herself. She was no longer an unstoppable looking giant, but rather a regal, majestic looking thing marching near the back. While only being barely taller than the Zin she was leading, she was still easy to see thanks to that perpetually flowing rainbow sherbet mane of hers.

"... You just keep living in that little world of yours and I'll deal with the giant fucking army of Zin by myself," she uttered with no small amount of salt or guilt tripping. She produced her sniper rifle from her "radial" and leaped onto the terminal building, taking aim immediately and taking shots at the purple unicorn's false idol.

Surprisingly (for her), there was no visible shield, and her shots found purchase squarely in Celestia's chest. And, surprisingly, it seemed to do fuck all. There was an appropriate spray of blood, but the winged unicorn continued to march without even so much as an "ouch." The Boss frowned and reloaded her sniper rifle before using an Ice Buff. She began shooting the seemingly invulnerable equine in the head as rapidly as she could without missing. But again, nothing happened.

Until her clip ran out. As soon as she ran out of ammo, the Boss suddenly found herself suspended over the mare's head with dozens, if not hundreds of weapons trained on her.

"... Fuck." And then they opened fire until the leader of the Saints was little more than a pile of ash.

Twilight stood stock still as she watched the Boss being vaporized from afar, shaking in place as she began to breathe heavily. She knew Celestia was powerful - anypony could have told you that - but to effortlessly teleport somehuman like that and hold them in the air to be filled with whatever the Zin were using as weapons...

It was a grievous abuse of magic. And it made her angry. The violet mare did not mourn for the death of the President, but rather, she quietly tried to contain her building fury.

She paused for a second. Her eyes went wide. The Boss had just died. "... Oh no... Oh no no no no no..." she uttered softly prompting a three tone noise from the air.

"What's with you?" came a quizzical quip from the Boss' "hacker" friend.

"Th-The Boss is dead!" she yelled, taking a few steps back towards the Boss' unoccupied Temptress.

"No she's not."

"... What? B-But I j-"

Kinzie emitted an irate sigh, as if she were trying to teach a concept to a difficult student. "You realize that nothing in the Simulation is real, right?" she began, getting Twilight to nod a little. She had guessed that much based on the Boss' change in wardrobe between the Simulation and the ship, never mind the constant " shimmering" of the environment. "If she dies, the Simulation revives her at a hospital and takes her money. She's probably running your way right now."

Twilight looked to the west to search for the human, but didn't see her. She frowned slightly, and turned her attention back to the army. The horde of Zin was slowly drawing closer, but were still far enough away - it seemed - for them to not be firing at her yet.

"Either way, nothing in this Simulation is real. You can do whatever you want, really. Go insane if you want. No consequences." Kinzie stopped talking briefly and Twilight could faintly hear her having a conversation with somehuman else. She couldn't understand them, but she knew they were there. "Look, just keep the Zin in the airport, alright? It's a big, open area, there's plenty of space for you to unleash hell, and there's plenty of big, exploding objects for you to throw. Now go!"

The unicorn gulped as she listened, already teleporting onto a nearby roof and then to a point somewhere behind the advancing army. Upon further inspection, she noted that the apparent tower was probably further from them than she was previously. And she was okay with that. For as little as she liked procrastination, she had very few problems with putting off fighting.

Twilight Sparkle examined her immediate surroundings. From her tower, she could see several large objects with huge, solid wings near the largest buildings, as well as a few smaller ones and the occasional car near the tower itself. She had no shortage of objects to throw at the Zin, but she also had to factor in the utter fraud leading them all. The unicorn had no problems imagining her plucking them out of the air and either destroying them or putting them on a high speed "return to sender" course.

As she thought on her options, though, the horde of Zin began making a change in their course, instead turning to march towards her. As they did, the smaller of the two types of flying object began to advance on her, the "tanks" firing huge, slow moving blasts at her position. She gasped and backed away from the edge of the tower, leaping away just in time to avoid the glowing projectiles. Several missed, but a few hit the tower itself; the heat from the explosions was incredible.

She didn't have a lot of time to think, however, as half a dozen of the mounted Zin floated into her sight, their vehicles firing thin beams of red... something that impacted on her sides and back. "Aghhh!" she cried, teleporting off of the tower and reappearing near one of the giant winged vehicles. A hail of laser fire tore through the place where she once stood, if only briefly, as the sources began to approach her new position.

"BOSS!" she cried, gritting her teeth as she half-planned, half-panicked. "I could use some help!"

The Boss whistled as she browsed the inventory of the nearest Friendly Fire, letting her sniper rifle, Violator, and H.M.D. be coded out of existence temporarily as she replaced them with a new set of virtual killing implements.

"She just needs to see how fun this is..." she said to herself as a familiar pair of weights appeared on both shoulders, making her grin wildly. Her business concluded, the President needlessly shot the clerk and took off towards Wesley Cutter International.

Kinzie sighed as she watched Twilight Sparkle dodging and thinking through one feed and the Boss shopping through another, shaking her head at the two. For all the trouble that they had gone through, she would've thought that this little pony would be more worth it. There was no denying that they had done a good deed, saving her, and Kinzie did feel better for it, but as the false alicorn and her forces advanced on Twilight more and more, "savior's remorse" now set in.

Still, thinking ahead, there were potential future benefits to saving an alien not allied with the Zin. The first that came to mind was returning the mare home as a gesture of goodwill, potentially setting the stage for trade, alliances, perhaps even a home. Provided the President didn't do something stupid first.

The hacker shook her head and rolled her eyes behind her glasses, rubbing the back of her neck and rolling her head with a quiet but satisfying crack. Of course, she had to plan around the Boss and her bullshit. Someone had once said something along the lines of "Plan A never works." Of course it didn't. If it did, it was either a trap or dumb luck. Or the Boss. Plan B was usually the way to go. Assuming the Boss wouldn't offend alien royalty was a huge risk.

More likely was a win-lose scenario of some sort, it seemed. Especially the first one that came to mind. They'd kill Zinyak, take Twilight to her home planet, and upon meeting royalty, the Boss would theoretically do one of two things:

She would be herself.

Or she would provoke the other ponies, and then be herself.

... Other ponies... She briefly paused as she recalled Twilight's request. "... Don't see why not," she uttered as she picked up her laptop and got off of her huge beanbag chair. "MILLER!" she called, heading towards the cargo bay. A short walk brought her to Miller's couch, where she found the little bitch on his ass playing a game. "Miller, go keep track of the Boss and Twilight," the former fed demanded, frowning as the black haired male glared over his handheld of choice.

"Why? She prefers your voice droning in her ears," he retorted rather calmly, returning to his game.

Kinzie shook her head and snatched it from him, prompting a "Hey!" as he leaped up to try and reclaim it. "Not until you delete those nudes you got of me," she replied. The British hacker froze as his eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. A perfect "oh shit" look. Kinzie smirked a slight smirk and pointed to the door, and Miller left the cargo bay.

A moment later, the self proclaimed "cyber god" was in the Simulation room and Kinzie was on her beanbag, cracking her knuckles before getting to her hacking.

Twilight panted as she fled from the Zin, dodging lasers and occasionally tossing an object or two at them to try and deter them. She reluctantly teleported away when they got too close, due to its usual drain on her magic, but the more she used it, the more she came to realize something.

Her magic barely seemed affected by the spells she cast. She should have felt more drained by the heavier she was occasionally slinging, yet the strain it put on her was all but nonexistent.

She had to wonder why. Maybe it was just the Simulation? She'd have to ask Kinzie. Either way, she began to ponder the possibilities...

Maybe it was time to dig up some of those offensive spells. Twilight allowed a slight smile to curve her muzzle at the prospect. She had never had a reason to use such magic before, but she did know it.

She shook her head as she teleported away again, frowning. The Boss was wrong. She wasn't a killer. She refused to become a killer. What happened before was... was...

"What was that?" she asked herself, her eyes widening at the revelation. There was no excuse. No justification. She had ways to do so, but as she thought about them more, she just couldn't picture herself actually saying it without sounding juvenile, desperate, or stupid.

Snapping back to reality for a moment and teleporting away yet again when she was found, Twilight Sparkle grit her teeth. "... I killed those humans," she reminded herself aloud, the words bitter on her tongue. "Fake or not, I killed them with a fucking smile on my face..." The thought horrified her. Indeed, it didn't matter whether or not those oddly clothed humans were real or not, nor if they were ponies or not. She had killed them. She had enjoyed it. She began trying to justify it again anyway, telling herself that she was afraid of refusing the Boss and being attacked.

Twilight felt tears welling up in her eyes as she subsequently rejected that line of thinking. It didn't change the fact that she had killed both during that "Mind Over Murder" game AND while the Boss had been stomping around the city.

"... I'm a fucking monster..." she uttered guiltily, quietly. Twilight only regretted her vulgar choice of words for a second before making a much easier admission to herself: she couldn't care less about her language anymore. There was no point in censoring herself.

Teleporting again to that tower - hiding behind it this time as the army changed course to follow her - she sat on her haunches, silently crying as she repeated those four words again and again. Her ears twitched as she heard the one named Matt Miller say something in "Kinziespeak", but the mare wasn't listening.

Why bother?

Twilight began to picture herself returning home a killer. She could try to not tell her friends about her crime. She could keep it to herself and nopony would ever have to know. But the rational side of her argued how much that would ruin her. It would eat away at her until she either caved in and confessed or went insane trying, possibly doing something she would regret.

She might kill again.

Twilight only barely realized she needed to teleport again in time, narrowly avoiding being blown up by tank fire as she reappeared on the opposite side of the "airport." She began to loudly sob, again missing what Matt was saying as she wallowed in despair.

Twilight Sparkle had never considered suicide before.

The Boss pulled the trigger as she stopped sprinting on a runway, aiming her "Industrial" Dubstep Gun at the army and beginning to open fire. The musical beams and waves impacted on some of the Zin, but it did very, very little. It took an entire charge to kill just one soldier. "Maybe I should actually upgrade this thing some," she said to herself before looking skyward. "Hey Kinzie!"

"It's Matt, actually," the very same replied, seeming rather irate about something. "Kinzie's doing something."

"Oh... Okay then. Hey Matt! I know I don't use the Dubstep Gun... ever... but it was never this weak!"

Miller was quiet for a moment, leaving the Boss time to whip out her acidic rubber band guns to try plinking away at another Zin grunt. To little effect.

"Well, it turns out that that shield went up while you... went shopping?" Matt seemed disappointed now. "Princess Celestia brought an army into the Simulation and you were shopping?!"

"Yeah." The President of the United States could have sworn she heard Matt let out a sigh-covered "women." "You watch your mouth, motherfucker," she reminded him. "Now get Twilight some superpowers or something."

The unicorn sobbed as she teleported again, this time feeling the pain of a single laser blast that had hit her flank. It burned, yet she felt like she could take a few more if needed.

Not that she cared. Overwrought with self-loathing and guilt, she was finding it very hard to think or care about anything else. Not even the new song playing from nowhere was given even a second of consideration.

Until she realized why all of this was happening. The reason she was in this Simulation in the first place. Or in fake Ponyville before then, even.

The Zin. Zinyak.

Thinking about them made her blood boil, her bloodshot eyes opening as sorrow and guilt began to contend with rage and wrath. The Zin... Those bastards! If it weren't for them, she could have been at home with her friends. With Spike. With the real Princess Celestia.

Instead she had spent the last year and a quarter trapped in a nightmare where everypony she knew and loved had turned on her. Her absence was no doubt making everypony at home miserable. And she didn't even know if they were still alive. They could be on Zinyak's ship, being subjected to their own personal Tartarus for all she knew.

And while her rescuers, these Saints, had freed her and made promises of a safe return in exchange for her help, she couldn't help but see them as just a new set of jailors.

But she understood why. They had already experienced what could or already had happened to Equus. Their home was gone, their race all but eradicated, their loved ones dead. Theirs was a mission of vengeance. The Saints had already lost everything, and now wanted their shot back at the motherfuckers responsible. Trapped as she felt she was with them, she didn't blame them.

Twilight began to breathe heavily through her nostrils, her horn glowing a violent violet of its own accord. It was the Zin. The Zin were the ones responsible for her misery, her despair, her pain, her anger, her hatred.

Everything.

She grit her teeth as she growled a furious growl, channeling an immense amount of magic. "You bastards..." she uttered lowly, deeply, going through her known attack magic to remember how to use it. She stepped out of cover and glared at the army being led by a false representation of her idol, marching about a hundred yards away and in her direction.

"You're all... going to fucking pay..." she managed again, casting the most powerful barrier she could without regard for the drain it might have. The Zin opened fire with what seemed like everything they had, virtually hundreds of beams and explosives impacting on her violet shield.

"You ruined my life! You ruined everypony's life!" she yelled, rational thought now lost to her as her vision turned red. She lowered her head and fired a long column of magical flame through her barrier, setting the first line of Zin ablaze while disregarding the colorful beams being fired by a distant black figure.

"Now I'll end yours!!" Twilight's voice continued to grow as her eyes began to glow, turning her attention to the fliers trying to get behind her shield. She regarded them with utter ire, grasping them in her telekinesis and pulling them down to the ground as fast as magic itself would allow. The resulting craters were very, very deep. Casting a voice amplification spell on herself, she screamed one more word.

"DIIIIIIIIEE!!!"

The Boss heard every word that the unicorn had said somehow, even over her own gunfire, the laser fire of the Zin's weaponry, and the pretty okay sounds of Men Without Hats.

And the following display of Twilight's magic made the Boss glad that Twilight was on her side. And that the Simulation didn't simulate bodily needs. Seeing the s and s being buried in the tarmac, the Zin being set on fire, and the powerful glowy eyes that her equine comerade was sporting reminded her very vividly of her latest near-death experience.

Twilight was not one to be trifled with; the Boss knew that already. Her magic could easily rip her apart if she gave the lavender pony a reason to. And indeed, she already had one.

The Boss frowned and looked down as she put away her Dubstep Gun, instead producing her RPG to begin putting rockets into the Celestia's forces. She felt... something. Something she hadn't felt in a very, very long time. Not since her Stilwater days, in fact.

Legitimate fear.

She chuckled a little as she realized what she was admitting to herself, putting another rocket into her medieval launcher and firing immediately. She was afraid of a magical talking purple unicorn. It would've sounded crazy in any other circumstance, yet watching as Twilight screamed and created a huge sphere of purple, magicky death, she no longer felt so ridiculous about it.

"Boss, you might want to run," Matt warned her as the ball continued to grow bigger, taking his advice and super sprinting far away from the army and equine.

"So, what is Kinzie doing?" she asked as she ran looking up at the sky to address the former Decker.

"I don't know," Matt replied defensively, seeming nervous despite the busy key tapping that could be faintly heard over all the other noise. "When a woman like her has dirt, I'd rather not ask questions."

The Boss was quiet for a few seconds, then let a knowing smirk curve her lips as she stopped running to observe the impending fireworks. "She found those nudes, huh?"

A pause. "... H-How did you know?"

"Kinzie told me, what, a week ago?" she replied quickly, now wishing for her sniper rifle as the sight of distant heads begged for bullets.

Matt went quiet for several seconds after that, giving the Boss time enough to see the fruit of an enraged equine's efforts. When that magic death ball was "big enough," the unicorn brought it down on the sizeable remaining Zin force.

"Whooaaa..." the leader of the Saints emitted as she bore witness to one of the best explosions she had ever seen. It slammed into the runway and burst, the violet light bright enough to blind as it disintegrated every single one of Sunbutt's troops.

She was certainly glad to be wearing sunglasses, that much was certain. As the glow faded and the destruction became visible, the Boss grinned widely and began to laugh.

The Zin were gone. In their place, smoke. And as the icing on the proverbial cake, the most appropriate song began playing.

And Twilight now seemed to be wearing the most appropriate garb.

"You got the touch!
You got the powaaaah!
Yeah!"

Twilight panted heavily as her eyes ceased to glow, staring down at the ground as her vision blurred slightly. Despite the Simulation's apparent magical empowerment, she couldn't help but feel tired.

But incredibly empowered. She felt fantastic! She grinned a wide grin and reared her head back, unable to help a loud, long laugh. "... I do have the power~!" she cackled, as her vision became clearer.

She realized she was now clothed.

Adorning most of her body was a brown and white robe of some kind, a belt around her barrel and her legs fully wrapped. It was comfortable, but that didn't hold a candlle to what came with it.

Wings. Actual wings. Experimentally, she tried unfolding them, and upon realizing she could, she spread them to their greatest length. "Woooow..." she sighed as she looked back at them, giving them a few experimental flaps. To her surprise, it felt second nature. A few flaps later and she was off the ground, a huge smile plastered on her face. "Th-This is incredible!!" she cried, tempted to soar off into the sky and only being prevented from doing so by the sight of her false idol glaring at her in place of her late army.

"Nice touch, Matt," the Boss commented as she sprinted to the Jedi mare's side, skidding to a halt next to her and producing her red energy blade from her "radial" while she heard Matt Miller's proud chuckling.

"It seemed only fitting," he replied with undisguised pride. "Shame I couldn't make her a lightsaber. Oh well."

"... Wait, why couldn't you?" the President asked as she tapped Twilight on the side and offered her the glowing melee weapon, which she took in her magic and held at the ready.

"... Umm-"

The Boss sighed and shook her head, producing her EM Railgun and taking aim at the Princess. "Later, Matt," she said to cut him off. She didn't hear him again, so she assumed he dropped the subject. "Like it, Twilight?" she quipped, getting a nod from the mare as they both stared down the simulated royal pony.

Celestia stood there, seemingly unscratched and with a rather unsettlingly serene expression. Her eyes were open and she glared at Twilight, but she was oddly calm for a pony about to get her ass kicked.

"Twilight, I'm disappointed in you," the winged unicorn (there must be a name for those!) uttered in a fitting tone. And much to her own disappointment, Twilight slowly landed, appearing to be listening.

The Boss sighed and covered her face with a palm.

It was her. That was Celestia's voice. It was too perfect to be anything but. Twilight stopped flapping her newly gained wings to land next to the Boss, gritting her teeth as a look of panic washed over her features. "Pr-Princess, I-"

"I taught you better than that." Her teacher began to step forward. The Boss began shooting her "railgun" at the Princess, but didn't get any results beyond a sidelong glare and being flung into the nearest wall. "I hope you intend to atone for this betrayal."

Twilight looked down, the rational part of her that would have her plunging her new weapon through the alicorn being drowned out by her conscience and her despair. "... I... I do, Princess."

"Good." Twilight grimaced; Celestia uttered that word with nothing but undisguised contempt. It stung at her heart, and made her want to cry. "Then you may begin..." she started, getting her to look up at her mentor. Her long, sharp horn was aimed right at her head. "... by dying.

Those two words snapped her back to reality and she quickly dove to the right, just barely managing to dodge a very thin beam of magic that would have likely put a nice, clean hole through her skull. "... No. No! You're not the Princess!" she yelled, swinging her weapon in her telekinetic grasp threateningly. "You're a fraud!" As she yelled this, the Princess took another shot at her, the beam finding purchase on her chest. And yet, Twilight endured the blast. She grunted loudly when it struck and she definitely felt it, but it didn't kill. "How dare you!"

To her surprise and her displeasure, the impostor merely laughed. But it wasn't Celestia's laugh. "Ahhh, what a shame. I had hoped this could end decently."

"Goddammit, Zinyak!" she heard the Boss yell. Upon hearing that name, Twilight couldn't help herself.

She lunged.

Kinzie Kensington raised an eyebrow as she finished skimming through the Zin's abduction databases once more, looking for any equines that Zinyak might have also captured. She didn't have much to go on, so she was really going more by names than anything else.

But she came up empty handed. Good news and security for Twilight, she concluded, nearly closing her laptop. But just before she did, she had another thought.

Again, she opened the computer and hacked back into those databases and quickly found Twilight's file. Idly noting that the security on her name was drastically reduced since they rescued her, she opened it and began looking it over.

The file contained data such as her name, age, origin, and various physical attributes such as eye color, skin/fur color, size, and such. It also contained a short personality bit that didn't tell the hacker anything new, a status that was marked as "escaped," as well as a few warnings about how Twilight was meant to be handled for transport.

But what interested her most was the "reason for abduction." Giving some props to the Zin for being so thorough in their data keeping, she noted that it was labeled as "preparatory." She raised an eyebrow at that one. Preparatory? For what?

She had a naggling suspicion that she was forgetting something.

Kinzie kept Twilight's file open and began opening several others in other tabs. She opened her own. Her own file described her reason as "volunteer." True.

She opened the Boss' file. Snickering again at the fact that they didn't have her name, she noted the Boss' reason as "potential threat/plaything."

Those two options cleared, she found Johnny Gat's file and glanced at his reason: "Preparatory."

"... Shit." It was a fitting curse. The Zin had abducted Johnny because Zinyak feared he was a threat to his invasion of Earth. She cursed herself for forgetting such an important detail, closing the files and beginning to hack into the Zin's navigation.

The Boss reloaded her railgun and opened fire on the white mare as the superpowered unicorn kept attacking. The Princess was dodging and counterattacking Twilight's every move, and Twilight took many a blow, but she just kept going. She would've admired her tenacity if only the purple unicorn would get out of the fucking way.

"Twilight! Fucking move!" she yelled as another stray shot hit Twilight in the back, finally just sprinting over and leaping a short distance into the air before Stomping near the winged unicorn. The attack seemed to stagger Celestia, and that made an opening for Twilight.

She saw the robed mare bring the blade down on Celestia's left wing, slicing it off before blasting the white equine in the chest with a stream of purple lightning that would put Palpatine to shame.

Celestia cried out in pain as Twilight electrocuted her, the unicorn gritting her teeth as she kept up the stream.

"Looks like fun," the black clad woman commented with a snicker, pulling out her alien pistols and using a Lightning Buff before starting to shoot Celestia.

As the Boss began shooting, Twilight stopped shocking her, panting heavily as she took the opportunity to even out Celestia's wing count.

She whirled the red blade behind her, eying the false Princess while the Boss kept her down. She watched her pained face and grit her teeth. Her conscience begged her to stop. To turn away, throw down her sword, refuse to partake in any more violence.

The rest of her screamed for blood. She obliged. "RAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!" came the bookworm's wrathful scream, raising the blade and bringing it down on Celestia's head.

Time seemed to slow as the head of the impostor hit the ground, the alicorn's body going limp and her mane and tail ceasing their endless "flow." Twilight shook visibly as she regarded the equine, her conscience screaming at and scolding her for her crime. "... I... I... I killed her," she uttered softly, dropping the murder weapon next to her as she fell on her haunches.

"You did." The Boss' words didn't sting. "You did good, Twilight."

Twilight said nothing for a long while, trying to resist the conclusion that most of her wanted to come to. But she could not deny it. "I did."

"And how was it?"

"... Incredible..."

"Boss!" Kinzie's voice rang out over the audio system loudly, startling both females and getting the Boss to groan. Before she could respond, however, the hacker spoke again. "Both of you need to get out of the Simulation! Now! Celestia was just a ruse!"

Twilight's expression was grim as her hooves touched the cold floor of the ship, seeing Kinzie waiting for her and the Boss. "What happened?" the mare asked, sparing a few brain cells to notice that her chest didn't hurt very much anymore.

Kinzie started fiddling with her device as she began. "Twilight, I didn't find any other ponies in the Zin's systems, but I remembered something." The glasses wearing female turned to the Boss. "We need to use the key now."

The President raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to the other human. "What happened?"

"Remember what I said about Twilight before you went to get her? How she was an obstacle to Zinyak's invasion like Gat was?"

The Boss slowly nodded, comprehension dawning on her face while Twilight stood there, listened, and tried to figure out what they were talking about.

"Zinyak's going to Equus next."

Twilight froze. "... Wh-What...?" she managed, her expression plagued with terror.

"He abducted you because you would have tried to stop him from invading Equus. He's invading Equus next."

"... No... No nonononono..." Twilight began to panic, looking around the room frantically while desperately thinking, hoping, wishing for this to be a nightmare.

The Boss slapped her a few seconds later, snapping her out of her stupor quickly. "... Th-Thank you..."

Kinzie cleared her throat loudly, getting their attention. "Hey, remember what I said about using the key now?" she reminded, getting Twilight and the Boss to nod. "I meant it. I hacked into the Zin's navigation systems. They'll be there in four hours."

The Boss immediately sprang into action, running through the ship and calling everyhuman to the cargo bay.

Twilight sat there much longer in stunned, horrified, worried silence before managing to follow suit with the rest of the crew.

Author's Note

Oh shiiiiiit!

I figured I ought to up the ante a little, so... there ya go.

I was originally going to give Twilight diamond horse armor with fleur de lis markings a la Minecraft, then considered making her a more authentic Power Ranger/Pony with a fleur de lis helmet visor. But then I thought about Saints Row IV and thought "those don't really fit." Then I thought about a Jedi Twilight Sparkle. It was perfect.

Also, I was doing my best to describe Twilight's inner struggles with morality versus brutality and necessity. I'm replaying Farcry 3, you see, and I was equating her to Jason Brody's transformation. He was innocent enough, but became a warrior through nonstop violence, drugs, the murder of his brother, the need to save his friends, his desire for revenge on Vaas and Hoyt, and an addiction to the power he felt he had over his life.

Twilight, however, was more resistant to the change. As much as she wanted to cling to her innocence, she had already lost it. If it seems like she came down from her anger or despair too quickly... well, the mind is a difficult thing to understand.

The pic came from ctb-36 on DeviantArt. Used without permission.

Leave some feedback, you beautiful, beautiful hairless apes, you.

What the hay IS Nyteblade, anyway?

"I know over the years, you've heard this speech a bunch of times."

"Heard it? Bitch, I wrote it."

Twilight was the only one not laughing at that first exchange between the Boss and one of the strangers standing with her in the cargo bay. The Boss was standing on an upper catwalk while she and six other humans listened. She recognized Shaundi, Pierce, Kinzie, Matt, and... Johnny, but there was also the woman she had encountered briefly before she met Shaundi. She would have to ask the woman's name later, if she remembered.

But thoughts of some other human's name were far, far from the ones that dominated her mind at that moment. Twilight was scared. As the Boss began to make her speech to the rest of the crew, Twilight couldn't bring herself to listen.

As far as she knew, her planet had four hours until it was destroyed. And she had no way to warn them. She could barely keep from crying. It was a wonder that she hadn't already started.

Not only was she unable to contact anypony, but she could already feel the immense pressure weighing on her. She did not doubt the Boss' capabilities, make no mistake. The confident human had given her no reason to doubt her. And yet the unicorn feared failure.

For starters, she did not know the capabilities of the other Saints, and that unnerved her. She had met a good portion of them, but she had only seen what the Boss could do.

Then there was how little she knew about their enemy. For all she observed about the Zin in the Simulation before she began to break down, this Zinyak was an unknown factor. Could he use magic? How strong was he? How smart was he? She knew nothing about this alien or how to fight him.

Neither of these held a candle to the most glaring problem: herself. In the realm of reality, she knew that the Simulation boosted her magical abilities, but she was on her own outside of it. Nothing new, but she could just picture herself running out of magical energy at a terrible time. Then she would die, and by dying, she would fail all of Equus.

Failure and survival were what held her thoughts hostage most. She couldn't easily picture the Boss being killed, but she could certainly see herself in that respect. She kept going over scenarios of her own future ends, imagining how she would die and how her friends, family, and mentor would take the news.

Really, how else could anypony react to such a thing? If one of your best friends/children/students went missing for fifteen months, then turned up dead, the only reasonable response was sorrow.

That was assuming the Boss would even bother to bring her remains home.

The thoughts of her home going up in flames, her friends being murdered, their families viciously ended... It..

It...

Twilight grit her teeth and shook her head, only absently noting the cheering around her and then following everyhuman as they returned to the Simulation room. She moved on autopilot as she now examined not the possibilities and consequences of failure, but herself.

Such apocalyptic thoughts... she wasn't feeling as torn up over the matter as she should have. Instead, she felt angry and determined. Twilight wasn't going deny that such could be useful when push came to shove, but...

"What's happening to me...?" she quietly asked herself her eyes half closed as she came to sit against the wall of the Simulation room, the other humans talking among themselves while the Boss seemingly tried to decide on something. She should have felt something more.

She thought back to the acts of murder she had committed barely fifteen minutes ago. She hit her low, then her enraged high, briefly became rather drunk on the power, turned violent, and then reluctantly admitted that the feeling was incredible. Her conscience nagged at her, bringing her guilt. The rest of her didn't care. "... What has happened to me...?"

In all, she had to side with the apathetic side of herself. After all the shit she had been through since being foalnapped, she told herself, she had a right to feel this way.

The mare bowed her head, allowing herself to become further lost in thought.

"I know over the years, you've heard this speech a bunch of times."

"Heard it? Bitch, I wrote it."

The Boss snickered a little at her Chief of Staff's remark before continuing, casting her crimson gaze back over the gathered Saints. "But we need to remember why we do what we do. And today the stakes are even higher."

She started pacing a little on the catwalk as she continued with her speech, noting their newest member's downcast gaze, but ignoring it. "Earth is gone." The President paused very briefly for effect. "It's not coming back and nothing we do today is gonna change that.

"But one thing we can do is get revenge. And you better believe we're showing this motherfucker humanity isn't dead because we're still alive."

A brief, low murmur from her crew, and Twilight was still in apparent shock. "This isn't about hope, or faith, or even about winning," the leader of the Saints continued, letting out a quiet sigh. "Kinzie's right... Those things died on Earth."

The human walked to the railing and gripped it tightly with both hands. "This is about will," she said firmly before adding more energy to her tone. "This is about saying I don't give a shit how many times you knock me down, if I'm still breathing, I'm standing right back up and ya know what?! You can hit as hard as you want 'cause when I hit back, I'm gonna lay your ass out bitch!

"It's our time now!" she yelled, thrusting a fist into the air. "Let's get this shit started!" The Boss breathed a little harder as she finished, taking in the cheers from her small audience while her vision snapped to the unicorn. Still sulking. Surprise surprise.

She ran back to the Simulation room as her crew followed, then watched as everyone else filed in. Kinzie grabbed her laptop, Shaundi and Pierce gathered around one of the terminals in the center, Johnny and Ben stood near a crate and talked, and Matt and Asha seemingly strategized near her Simulation link.

And Twilight was all alone. She sat in the corner of the room, a sort of dead look in her eyes as she stared at some really interesting grey, featureless flooring. As much as she hated how Twilight was acting at a time like this, she could understand, at least. Sympathize, even.

The Zin would reach Equus in roughly three hours and forty-five minutes, and she imagined that if they didn't stop the bastard before then, it would follow Earth. She understood. She just wished that the purple pony could save the "freaking-the-fuck-out" phase for later.

In this line of thought, she had only been able to half listen to what Kinzie was explaining. Something about only taking two crew members for each phase of what would be a three part plan. She could deal with that. The choice was pretty easy, in truth. She approached the two former MI6 agents and gestured towards other Simulation links before stepping into her own and preparing to defend the "key" that would allow them to finally crack the system.

As she was loaded into the Simulation, she had to question why this plan seemed so valid. "... How stupid are these fuckers?"

Twilight only looked up once she realized that the Boss, Matt Miller, and that one woman whose name she still had yet to learn were in the Simulation. She cast her gaze towards the link that had been modified for her use, thinking briefly on it before starting to approach it.

"Don't, Twilight!" A sudden yell from Kinzie startled her as her hooves touched the device, glancing at the "hacker" as all eyes turned to her. "The Boss will need you later."

Attention drifted away from her as she backed away from her Simulation link, eying the female critically. That was a rather vague statement, she mused, approaching her but being halted from doing so when somehuman stood in the way.

"Been meanin' to tell ya somethin', girl," came Pierce's voice as he stared... glared down at the unicorn. She grit her teeth and subconsciously backed away a hair, but stood her ground. "I really don't appreciate what you did to the Boss before."

"I know, I know... I said I was sorry," she replied, a tinge of annoyance seeping into her voice by mistake.

"Uh-huh."

"Leave her alone, Pierce," came a sigh from Shaundi, sitting nearby and staring at a bright blue screen. "You wanna tell her off, do it later."

The dark skinned male frowned and crossed his arms, looking back and forth between Twilght and Shaundi before groaning and stepping out of her way. Granted, not before emitting a sincere "I'm watching you."

The equine continued approaching Kinzie until she stood near her. The female was perched rather high up, so she couldn't see the screen of the thing she was working with, but she wasn't really planning on watching. She opened her mouth to speak, but not before the woman shook her head. "Not now. Busy. Need to focus," she hastily emitted, not even giving the mare a glance as she worked.

Twilight sighed and looked around the room impatiently. Nothing to do for now. It was a dangerous kind of boredom she was risking, she told herself, recognizing her likely future of harrowing, fevered thoughts if she just sat idly by and waited. "... I'm... gonna go do something... be right back..." she uttered lowly, only receiving a nod from Kinzie that might not have even been for her.

The unicorn left the room, beginning to explore the ship while looking for something.

Twilight needed to send a letter. She needed to try to contact her friends before she gave up on the prospect. Even if everything went perfectly and Zinyak died without trouble (which she doubted, somehow), she didn't think it was fair to let anypony worry any longer... about her, at least. They still had plenty to worry about given the circumstances. They just needed to know.

She stopped in the rec room first, searching it before quickly finding the Nyteblade comic on the pool table near the shark. She picked it up in her teeth and began looking for a quill and ink, or something else to write with. She would accept crayons, if need be.

Unfortunately, the search was a waste of time. Nothing to write with meant no letter. She returned to the Simulation room with ears lowered, the comic book now open and draped over her barrel. She glanced up at the humans as they looked at her briefly.

... Why not ask them? She immediately felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner.

Twilight approached Kinzie again. The woman held up a hand with a gesture that probably meant to silence her, but she ignored it and spoke quickly. "Is there something I can write with?"

Kinzie paused for several seconds, watching her device intently before speaking. "Once you get in there, you'll-" She cut herself off, for some reason, then cursed under her breath and sighed. She glanced up to the other gathered humans and spoke again. "There's a pen in Miller's pocket. One of you grab it for her." Kinzie then returned her attention to her device. The four other bipeds looked at each other briefly before Shaundi sighed, stood up, approached Matt, and searched him. A few seconds later, the woman presented Twilight with a thin, cylindrical object. It was mostly white, a strange black thing over the end of one. On its side was the word "BIC."

"... Uhhh..." Twilight emitted as she took it in her magic, examining it. Shaundi stared at her for a moment, then sighed, grabbing the black part and pulling it off. With it gone, the object was shorter, with a bronzish colored tip in place of the black thing.

"It's a pen. You write with it," she stated increduously. Twilight looked at it with a raised eyebrow, levitating the comic book off of her back and onto the floor before dragging the "pen" across its surface. It left a perfect trail of black in its path, though considering the texture of the page and its dark color, it was barely visible.

A smile curved Twilight's muzzle. She quickly took the book and pen to an empty corner of the room, flipping through the pages to find the page with the lightest color possible. After finding one that would work, despite its apparent purpose as an advertisement for a place called "Image as Designed," she set her new "pen" to the page and began writing.

In spite of the paper's apparent reluctance to accept the ink, Twilight realized what she was using: a quill with a built in ink well. Why had nopony ever thought of it before?

Another beautiful Wednesday afternoon saw Spike the dragon in the Golden Oaks Library once more, the scaly little creature quietly reshelving books while his new boss, Wonder Wine - a middle aged unicorn stallion - helped him out. Wine's name was quite fitting, judging by how his coat, mane, and tail were wine-ish colors and his cutie mark was a pair of crossed bottles. He peered at spines through his glasses with relative indifference before reshelving each, occasionally casting a glance over to his young employee to check on him.

The baby dragon had been without a real caretaker for a little over fifteen months. He'd been counting the days, going through a rather alarming number of calendars due to his grief.

When Twilight had vanished, she had done so without a single trace. The last thing he had seen her doing was studying at a desk just two feet behind him. She had had yet another mountain of books piled up on the desk and a copy of The School of Enchanting: Intermediate Edition open to page 213, with a graph on the magical drains of several large area-of-effect enchantments.

One evening, Spike had returned from a long day helping Rarity, seeing the violet bookworm poring over that textbook intently. He greeted her and ventured up to their room to look for a special gem he had been saving. Before he could even take a bite, however, he heard a very odd, blunt sounding noise come from the library proper.

When he returned, Twilight Sparkle was gone.

Initially, Spike was confused. Where could she have gone in such a short time? But as he searched, found nothing, allowed a day to pass, and asked the other Elements of Harmony, he feared the worst.

For months, the little dragon had searched, assisting everypony he could in searching for her. Suffice to say, their search led them over the whole of Equestria, anywhere within reach where he could search in safety. And even then, the depths of the Everfree forest, the heart of the badlands, and even the coldest of the northern mountain ranges hadn't kept the desperate drake from looking on his own. He was lucky to be alive, to say the least.

After many months, in his despair, he gave up searching. Princess Celestia had offered him a home at the castle, but Spike vehemently refused. He begged to be allowed to stay in Ponyville and eventually the Princess agreed.

Rarity, ever the generous mare, took him in. She gave him a place to stay, fed him, did her best to be the best... mother that she could be to him. But even living with his crush could not and did not help him. He had merely existed.

When the Golden Oaks Library became open to a new resident, Spike immediately jumped on it, but due to his age, he could not own it. Instead, Wonder Wine had come along. He had heard about Spike's foolish, desperate lone searches for Twilight and offered him sympathy and a job.

Spike had taken the job, but had proven himself to be... quite the headache. Wine had to endure daily searches of his bedroom by the displaced dragon, and the desk that Twilight had been seated at before had been viciously (even violently, on one occasion) defended. Not a single book would be touched or checked out. Not a single page would be turned. Not a single speck of dust would be tolerated. The only changes to that space were the signs he had erected around it. "DO NOT TOUCH!"

Wine understood, even if he didn't like it. Spike had said as much. "When she comes back..." he said with a small amount of hope. "I want everything to be exactly as she left it."

He had kept his own word since then, and everything was still exactly as his caretaker had left it. The library had many more patrons than before (it was no longer merely a home, after all), and there was much more work to do, but the little dragon was doing his best.

Still, on such a beautiful afternoon, there were only one or two ponies actually browsing the shelves. It had allowed the tree's new resident and his employee to catch up.

Wine sighed softly as he placed the last book from his cart on the shelves, smiling as he glanced at the baby dragon. "Alright. I'm gonna go grab some lunch," he stated. "Want anything?"

As usual he thought on it for a moment before shaking his head, which seemed to satisfy his boss and get him to leave the library. Spike was as alone as he could be these days. Alone with his thoughts. He very carefully shelved the last book on his own cart before sitting gently against the leg of the desk, sighing deeply. He closed his eyes and began to whisper to himself.

"Hey Twilight..." he began, trying to imagine the mare that hatched him standing in front of him. "Pinkie Pie visited me at Rarity's yesterday. She said she had a dream about you. I guess you were back with us and we were all gender swapped or something. ... I uh... don't remember much about it, but it was funny the way she told me... I can't remember laughing that hard in... wow... I can't even remember..."

He took a deep breath, imagining her smiling at him. It made him smile just a little, even if what he saw wasn't real. But as sad as it was, he knew it was all he could ever have. Twilight was... probably dead. There was no way that she could be gone this long - without any explanation or slightest clue - without having died. As long as there was life in her, she wouldn't give up. She wouldn't stop trying to come back home. She would do anything to return, to see her friends, the Princesses, him.

She must be gone. Spike just didn't want to believe it.

His fantasies would have gone on further had he not heard something strange, but undoubtedly familiar from behind him. The sound of teleportation. He gasped loudly, his reptilian eyes shooting open as he stood up and scanned for the offender. Oddly enough, nopony was there. He frowned and rubbed at his chin, looking around briefly before finding a chair nearby and pulling it up to Twilight's desk. He hopped up on it and glanced at the surface of the literature laden piece of furniture.

His eyes immediately narrowed angrily. Somepony had teleported garbage onto the desk. "Really!?" he couldn't help shouting, immediately grimacing at his own volume before carefully climbing onto the desk to grab the piece of paper. It felt like the kind of paper that comic books were made out of, and it wasn't in terrible shape. There were a few small holes in the paper, but only a few.

What struck him, though, was what he saw on the side he looked at. The word "Nyteblade" was written in a sort of background to nothing. He had no idea what it meant, but he hadn't heard that word tossed around in any comic shop he'd been in.

He idly flipped the page over and then raised an eyebrow. On the other side appeared to be an advert of some kind with some very strange figure with light skin standing in some sort of pose. However, he quickly noticed something else about the page: writing. It was small, likely to help fit the sheer amount of writing on that one page. He began to read.

"I desperately hope that somepony, anypony at all, finds and reads this message quickly. There isn't much time to explain. My name is Twilight Sparkle-"

Spike's entire body went rigid, his eyes becoming wide seas of white with green reptilian pinpricks while his mouth hung slightly agape.

"T-T-Twilight...?" he uttered breathlessly, now breathing heavily as he held the desk intruding page tightly and feverishly continued reading.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle. I apparently was foalnapped 1 year, 3 months, and 16 days ago by a being named Zinyak."

The dragon then raised an eyebrow, doing some quick addition in his head. He was good at addition! When he got his number, his grin widened ridiculously. 473 days! It really was Twilight! The baby dragon nearly fainted. His long lost caretaker, his best friend had finally sent word! He wanted to scream and cheer, but he kept reading.

"I know this is crazy, but if you don't act on what I say here, the entire planet is doomed!"

Spike frowned a little at that. He didn't doubt the message's authenticity anymore, but impending planet doom seemed pretty out there, even for Twilight.

"As of the time of writing this letter, the Zin are flying towards Equus at a pace that will allow them to reach you in 3 hours and 28 minutes. They intend to invade. They've apparently already conquered several planets and even destroyed one fully.

If you find this letter, seek out Spike the dragon immediately and give him this message. If you ARE Spike, I'm sorry I can't say more than this. I'm alright. I'm sorry for any worry I've caused you, but right now, you need to focus. If you're reading this, Spike, send this letter to Princess Celestia IMMEDIATELY. There's absolutely no time to lose."

Spike's happiness began to decay as he continued reading, not with uncontained glee, but with determination. Twilight was giving him a mission! He kept reading.

"Everypony needs to take shelter. The Royal Guard must help everypony hide. From what little I've seen, the Zin are much more technologically advanced than anything we have on Equus. If they reach the planet, it's over. Princess Celestia, you are their only hope if it comes to this.

With luck, though, it won't. I was rescued from the Zin by a small group of 'humans' that call themselves the 'Saints.' I am now one of them, but I digress. As I write this letter, the Saints and I are attempting a plan that, if all goes smoothly, will kill the Zin emperor, Zinyak, the one who foalnapped me."

Spike's eyes widened again as he read that line again. Twilight... a killer? ... Impossible. He was nearing the bottom of the page, however, so he continued quickly.

"If we succeed, the invasion will never come. And if I survive, the Saints have promised to return me to my home.

Spike, if you're reading this... I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I miss everypony. I wish I could explain more, and tell you for sure that everything will be alright, but I simply don't have enough time. If I survive, and we succeed, I'll see you in around 4 hours. Please, hurry Spike.

-Twilight Sparkle"

Spike stared at the last portions of the message for a short while, digesting everying... wrong with it. The constant allusion to her potential future demise, that swear word, the concept of Twilight Sparkle killing somepony... A part of him wanted to tear up the page, find the pony responsible for such a cruel prank, and to beat them down with the biggest, heaviest object he could find.

The rest of him puffed up his chest, took a deep breath, and blew his dragonfire on the page to carry out his instructions. Once he had done so, he began dashing towards the entrance of the library, leaving the hollow tree to run and tell everypony else.

He didn't get further than the first few steps outside as Princess Celestia teleported directly in front of him, then teleported away to gather the remaining Elements of Harmony.

Author's Note

This chapter ended where it did because I didn't want to write a mega chapter. I imagine some of you might be overjoyed at the peek back at Equestria. I kinda am, too. Once I started writing Spike's portion, I kept going until I found a place to end the chapter.

The next one will have action in it. I think. Maybe some power armor. And Motley Crue. Maybe. Maybe.

Please do leave some comments, some feedback! I'm really interested to know what you all think of this one.

Still love ya, Stan

Twilight Sparkle panted softly as she finished casting the spell to send that page to her home, feeling its drain on her magic pool and feeling it heavily. She knew that such a thing was a huge effort and that it was possible that doing so was incredbly stupid, but she felt better for doing so.

She could have done without Pierce's protests to her damaging the comic book, though.

As soon as she had sent her letter, things became slightly more eventful in the room. The Boss emerged from the Simulation, along with Matt Miller and the female stranger, prompting a bit of a speech from Kinzie before the President pointed to Johnny and one of the other strangers before returning to the Simulation with them. Apparently she was part of phase three, she mused as the first humans left the room for whatever reason. Twilight didn't question their departure from the room.

She didnt really care. Instead, she was waiting in anticipation of a response. She could imagine easily that there wouldn't be one, however. There was simply no way that they had received it. Her home was now likely either vacant or so densely occupied that her letter would not be noticed. Spike was probably in Canterlot.

... Canterlot! She immediately grimaced and smacked herself with a hoof for her idiocy. She should have just sent it to Canterlot! Stupid, stupid Twilight! She had just wasted her magic and the only piece of light paper she had.

Twilight shook her head and sighed. There was no point in worrying about that now. She sauntered over to the "hacker" as she worked, sitting on her haunches nearby while listening to her talking. And a brief bout of angry, but soon quieting chatter from her apparent counterpart.

From what the mare could tell, the Boss, Johnny, and somehuman named "Ben King" were running around a rapidly decaying and exploding Simulation, opening portals or something to summon reinforcements.

Twilight subsequently made the mistake of asking how the plan worked. Kinzie began to go off on a huge, long rant about things that Twilight could only partially understand. She spent a good while trying to understand the many unknown terms she used, but she was able to get the basic jist.

As she understood it, the Simulation was tied to a number of important things on Zinyak's "mothership", and with all the chaos the Boss was causing inside, the Simulation was crumbling. It seemed that the Zin would have to sabotage themselves in order to keep it from being ruined, therefore giving them an opening that would allow them to directly attack Zinyak.

Twilight could get behind that. She remembered just how hard their escape from the Zin had been, to be sure, and she wouldn't mind not being blown to Tartarus.

It didn't take long for things to get tense, actually. Kinzie had begun saying things along the lines of "Get out, get out, holy shit holy shit, sweet Celestia on a scooter, get out now." It seemed they had succeeded in taking down the Simulation, but it was now coming down all around the Boss and actually locking the "Gateways" they used to enter and exit "Steelport."

Twilight didn't think it was dangerous, however. It was only a Simulation, right? It wasn't real, and it wouldn't hurt the real Boss.

Then Kinzie apparently reminded the Boss that if she didn't escape, her mind would be trapped within the Simulation.

Oh.

Every human in the room was looking over Kinzie's shoulder at this point, watching quietly as the Boss dashed and glided all over Steelport in an effort to find an open Gateway. Twilight was, unfortunately, too short to see.

It was only through a collective sigh from the others that she realized the President's success, watching as Kinzie put down her device, got off the crate she was perched on, and approached the woman's Simulation link.

Twilight approached the leader of the Saints, ducking as the one named Johnny tossed one of the Zin's "rifles" over her head and into the hands of her savior. "We're gonna kill a lot of aliens," he uttered in a voice that made her shiver.

Sweet Celestia, his voice! She wasn't sure whether to be pleased with its sound or terrified of its user. She found herself staring at the man for a few seconds, but immediately looked away when Johnny glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Keith, how long till we're ready?" the Boss quipped, checking the "Dominator" rifle she had just caught while simultaneously shaking her head at it. She didn't really like this particular weapon. She loved their handguns and their SMGs were alright, but their rifles just felt... weak. Weak to use, that is. Being shot with one definitely hurt. But the unsatisfying, unnatural, ineffective feeling laser fire would never replace good old fashioned 5.56mm high velocity rifle rounds fired from an all-American M4 with a ridiculously and absurdly large magazine. Or a more illegal ammo type, if she could find someone selling it.

All-American... She sighed inwardly at that term. Just because she was the President of the United States, everyone thought it was best for her to use American made weapons. And while she certainly had no issues with a change in ballistic weaponry, she had missed her favorites.

If the Zin really could restore Earth, her first act as President would be to make some foreign arms dealer very, very rich. Whether or not it was a public act would be an unimportant detail.

Snapping back to reality, Keith's deep, well trained voice rang in her ear. "About five minutes. Dodging a few patrol ships here and there."

"Got it." The Boss sighed and slid the alien rifle onto her back as she glanced at Pierce and Shaundi, then at an approaching Twilight Sparkle.

Pierce looked pretty chilled out, all things considered. Normally, she'd expect him to be a little freaked out, but no less functional. The guy didn't let a lot of things get to him and if he ever did, he was hiding it pretty damn well. He stood there and toyed with his weapon idly, his mouth occasionally moving as though he were talking to himself.

Shaundi, on the other hand, appeared to be a little more on edge. She was moving around with her weapon as if she were trying to get a better feel for it, aiming around and likely reminding herself not to shoot. At one point, Pierce had noticed their newest crew member's path and - whether he meant to or not - ended up pointing his gun at her. Shaundi just glared at him, and he corrected himself.

Come to think of it, Pierce was probably pissed off at Twilight for that incident in the cargo bay from before.

And speak of the devil... The unicorn had since walked up to her and sat down on her haunches beside her, her expression distant, but still thoughtful. Her big, expressive eyes wandered around the room busily, shuffling her front hooves around in what the Boss guessed was an anxious way.

"It... occurs to me that... I still don't know everyhuman..." she spoke rather awkwardly and out of the blue. The President couldn't help a short chuckle at that, patting Twilight's head a few times.

"Try 'everyone' or 'everybody'," the woman began, getting the pony's attention. "Rolls off the tongue better. Now..." The Boss looked around the busy room, trying to think of who Twilight had actually met.

"Uhhhh... Let's see... That's Ben," she eventually emitted, gesturing over towards the man in question. "My Chief of Staff. Calls himself Benjamin 'Motherfucking' King, he's an author, used to be a gang leader, thinks he'd do better as President." The "puckish rogue" glanced down at the unicorn to see her staring intently at the bald man in glasses, then at King to see him returning the favor.

She then touched Twilight's horn with two fingers, nudging her head in Asha's direction. "Over there is Asha. She was a spy for MI6, and worked with Matt over there... Really don't know much about her." The Boss wouldn't admit that she hadn't been paying too much attention to the British agent's history. "Speaking of Matt, I don't know if you met him, but-"

"Oh, no, I met him..." Twilight cut in, offering her a polite smile.

"... Oh." The two stood in awkward silence for a few seconds, the Boss crossing her arms beneath her chest before she remembered something. She reached for an earpiece and took a light hold of the pony's right ear, doing her best to put it on her. "This'll let you hear Kinzie when she's talking to you. You'll need it." Twilight seemed satisfied, if curious, and nodded.

Several more seconds of deafening silence followed before the leader of the Saints snickered. "Matt and I tried to kill each other once," she added, earning a look of shock from the mare.

"Wait, really?" Twilight let out, glancing back and forth between the woman and the human in question. From the very limited contact with Matt Miller she had had, she had seen him as a nervous, but odd and possibly self-centered individual. She wouldn't have pegged him as a killer.

"Yep. He was part of the Syndicate when we ended up in Steelport. The real one, I mean. Had a gang called the Deckers made up of scrawny white people in outdated cyberpunk-y clothes and crazy girls on rocket skates carrying exploding hammers." Twilight really wanted to stop the Boss to ask for some sort of explanation. She had learned about the Syndicate from Shaundi earlier, but the little questions still nagged at her. The Boss didn't seem interested in clarifying, though. "Anyway, he stopped Shaundi from killing Killbane at one point, then I found him in his virtual hidey-hole and beat the shit out of him. Would've killed him, too, but he convinced me not to. Next I heard of him was when Shaundi, Pierce, Asha and I went to kill Cyrus Temple."

Twilight gave up. It wasn't worth it to ask about everything at this point. She just nodded instead, feigning her understanding. "I see... But still... him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just... I barely know him, but I wouldn't have pegged him as a... well... you know..." Twilight looked down at the floor gingerly.

"Ya know, I could go into detail about how you shouldn't make that judgement ever, even about us, but I'll tell you this," the President said in an unfittingly amused tone. "The Saints didn't get anywhere by making friends. Even when I ran for President, and I say this only because reporters don't exist anymore, there were a lot of assassinations. Some of them done by me."

Twilight felt compelled to ask many questions, but one seemed so necessary that she blurted it out before she could stop herself or word it differently. "How many have you killed?"

Only slightly disturbed by the lighthearted chuckle she got as a reply, Twilight's eyes narrowed more at the Boss' answer. "I dunno. I stopped keeping track after I threw a few too many grenades. Point is-"

"Boss! Let's go!" Shaundi cut in, walking towards the cargo bay door. The leader of the Saints nodded and sighed.

"C'mon, Twilight," she said, following the Boss closely and leaving the room while her mind swam with implications, moral dilemmas, and dread. As much as she wanted to give Zinyak what he deserved, the lack of a distraction allowed all those grim, sobering, terrifying thoughts to come back and haunt her.

For better or worse, she began to try to prepare a story for her friends. Or, if nothing else, a plea for forgiveness.

Matt Miller sighed deeply as he watched "team 3" leave the room, rubbing at his temples to try to will a particularly inconvenient headache away. He wasn't sure what to do with himself for the time being, in truth. He figured that he would be assisting the President in her fight against Zinyak (if possible), but that was just it.

I'm not cut out for the field, he told himself as he wandered to the other side of the Simulation room, leaning against a wall and producing his reclaimed handheld to continue with his fifth consecutive playthrough of "Nyteblade and the Bloody Veil." Most of the other crew members were leaving the room, as well, likely off to relieve themselves or to take care of some other last minute crap that they felt they needed to do. Eventually, it was just him and Kensington, whom had not moved from the computers in the middle of the room since the Boss escaped the Simulation.

While his expression did not betray it, he was definitely anxious. He did his best to focus on his game, but it was difficult regardless. At least he wouldn't be fighting directly alongside her. His heart went out to Shaundi, Pierce, and the pony, but he didn't envy them in the slightest.

Just as a cutscene started and as Matt once more cursed the lack of a skip option, a noise to his right caught his attention. An odd noise unlike anything he would imagine anything on the ship making. He turned his head to look and subsequently raised an eyebrow at what he saw.

A scroll. An ancient looking scroll was lying on the cold metal floor a few metres from where he stood. Intrigued (and glad for something to do while the cutscene dragged on), he stepped over an picked up the scroll. It certainly looked ancient, especially up close. It was written on parchment, wrapped up with ribbon, it even had a seal of some kind that he paid no mind to as he unrolled it and began scanning the page.

The writing appeared to have been scrawled in a hurry, yet it was still legible and elaborate. Pondering not who wrote it immediately, he began to silently read.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle,

"I am sad to have to even consider that you are likely not truly who you say you are, but I must assume that you are not. Take this how you will, but there have been no less than two instances of ponies claiming to be you. They were swiftly discovered to be fraudulent, and I am hoping that yours is not found to be the same. Still, there are problems with your message.

"I never thought you had such vulgarity in your vocabulary, first of all. Nor have I ever seen you as a violent mare. As I read your message, I must admit, I found myself hoping for yours to be a forgery. The concept of a pony such as you having fallen so far is a thing that I cannot imagine without a grimace.

"And as I write, I find myself increasingly convinced that you are not who you say you are. I could not and still cannot sense your magic. Luna could notfind your dreams. And even Discord, after being ordered to search for you, came back empty pawwed.

"With all of that said, I have taken your message seriously. As absurd as the concept of an alien invasion sounds to everypony that has seen your letter, I have still acted on the information. Equestria's security will be compromised no more. Everypony is being evacuated and taken to shelters where available while the military is hunkering down and preparing for these 'Zin.' The other Elements of Harmony are in Canterlot with myself and my sister, and we are also making preparations to fight.

"If you are the real Twilight Sparkle, I do not mean to express a lack of confidence in you or these "Saints" that you have associated yourself with. If you are truly who you say you are, then I wish you the best of luck. We all do.

Sincerely
-Princess Celestia"

Matt Miller stared at the text for a few minutes more, then shook his head and sighed. "More goddamn ponies... I miss aspirin," he uttered softly, rolling the parchment back up and tossing it back on the floor.

Twilight would freely admit that she had seen very little of the Zin "mothership." During their escape, the mare hadn't been paying much attention to their surroundings. Now that she was on the platform, she got a better chance to look around. Their landing site was huge, empty, and very red. And that was without looking behind her. Ignoring the view of their ship from the outside, she realized she would love to explore the place... The huge shaft they had flown through to reach this place just radiated massive-ness.

So wrapped up in this strange place was she that she didn't notice the three humans advancing towards the door at the far end of the platform until the Boss yelled for her. Grimacing at her own inattentiveness, the unicorn began dashing towards the rest of the group.

When she caught up with the rest of the group, they were all waiting at the door, rifles raised. "Twilight, you go first. I want you running interference." That was the only order given by a very serious Boss before she stepped closer to the door, making it open to a long, crate laden hallway. Twilight followed her instructions and entered the hallway ahead of the three humans, channeling magic into her horn preemptively while preparing a shield spell. She had no issue doing so, as channeling her magic did not expend any of her power, and would merely allow her to cast her spell more readily.

She was glad that she had done so. As the door shut behind them, several Zin soldiers rounded a corner and took cover behind the conveniently placed crates, beginning to open fire on her and the three humans. She immediately cast a weak shield, which Shaundi and Pierce used as cover while the Boss...

Well, the Boss made her wonder how she was still alive. The President of the United States was just running in there, firing at the Zin like a maniac while either dodging their own projectiles or taking them. It boggled her mind, but the way that the Boss was shrugging off these "lasers" was insane! She had been hit once or twice by their weapons in the Simulation to know it hurt like no other, but the Boss wasn't even phazed!

"How is she doing that?!" she shouted, getting Shaundi's attention as they all watched the President slide under an unfortunate Zin soldier and grab it between its legs before flipping it into the air.

"Don't ask me!" was all she got, and it just confused her more. Instead she began running forward, picking up a Zin "rifle" in her magic and following the Boss' example. She let her shield vanish as the other two humans followed. Twilight had learned her lesson before, and was very much intent on not shooting herself.

As illustrated when a soldier hiding from the Boss' reckless assault charged at her with some sort of shield strapped to its arm. Without hesitating, she teleported the rifle behind the running biped and pulled its trigger, blasting it in the back before taking the shield in her telekinetic grasp. With rifle and shield at her side, she dashed around a corner to join a stair descending Boss in her fight. The shield was moved around rapidly to block any incoming fire while her own weapon moved rapidly around and blasting many a Zin trooper.

When the place began to explode around them, Twilight had to wonder if she was doing too good of a job.

"Kinzie, are you guys shooting at the ship?" she heard the Boss ask, perking an ear to listen while beginning to tread very carefully.

"No, why?" Twilight jumped a little as she heard the "hacker's" voice in her right ear, now both on edge and infinitely interested in the odd little device wrapped around her ear.

"Hey, i-it's like someone's setting off fireworks in here!" she heard Pierce complain as he reached that same staircase to assist them.

"There's a lot of power being rerouted to fixing what we did to the Simulation. Guessing it's causing surges throughout the ship."

The Boss stopped near a corner, likely to let Pierce and Shaundi catch up. "Sooo we're not blowing up?" she quipped.

"Well, I can't guarantee that, but most likely you're fine."

Shaundi groaned frustratedly as she ran past the Boss to attack first. "I feel better already...!" she called as the Boss, Pierce, and herself charged around the corner to assist.

Twilight raised her shield in front of her body - grateful for its protection - and began firing again as the humans did their parts. As she did, though, she began to let her mind wander a little. A part of her was cringing at the atrocious acts of violence she was committing now, and another worried about just how little she was hesitating to do so.

But mostly, she was recalling the Boss' words on murder.

"Try. Seriously, don't knock it till you try it."

And she was. She was killing aliens with their own damn weaponry. Twilight just had to concede; something about the act of ending a life felt unbelieveably, perhaps sickeningly satisfying. It felt addictingly empowering. It made her feel strong.

The few doubts she had surfaced once more as she very easily dispatched a group of Zin that showed up behind her. These Zin deserved to die, make no mistake. They all deserved to die. But what would happen after they succeeded?

Her train of thought and her absent advance led them all through a door into a huge room with a horde of Zin troops waiting for them. She stepped back subconsciously, looking back at the trail of bodies that they had left behind.

Twilight could not prevent the sickeningly devious and unquestionably murderous grin that curved her muzzle.

"If Kinzie doesn't know what's in the armory, what are we looking for?" Shaundi queried, getting the Boss' attention even as she dropkicked another Zin grunt in the face.

"Something that'll get us to Zinyak," came her terse answer.

"So something big and has a lot of flashy buttons?" Pierce added, his tone both humorous and serious.

The woman just chuckled and nodded, blasting the freshly floored Zin and headshotting another immediately after. "Something like that!"

"I mean there could be a button for self destruct, or one that activates a Zin-killing virus, or even..."

"Pierce, it's not gonna have flashy buttons on it!" she heard her Secret Service Director yelling, ducking behind a crate to let her rifle cool down.

"Wouldn't turn down a robot."

Kinzie the killjoy chimed in her ear. "A robot wouldn't help you in space. What you'd need is-"

"A rocket-tank?" the Boss said hopefully.

"Actually, I was going to say a spacesuit and a REALLY big gun."

The Boss bolted to the other end of the room and glanced back to check on her three followers. Pierce and Shaundi were making a mad dash to join her and Twilight...

The President's jaw dropped when she saw what could very possibly be one of the most ridiculous, awesome, awesomely ridiculous, and ridiculously awesome things possible. Twilight was walking very casually through the middle of the room while a lot of Zin rifles floated around her. Four of the Zin's shields covered every side of her body while - she took a second to count - thirteen Dominator rifles floated over her head. Without any obvious effort on the unicorn's part, she blasted every single Zin that she could with incredible ease and accuracy. If she didn't have an angle on one, she simply shifted a rifle to make an angle.

She could hear Pierce chuckling nervously. "... I'm glad she's on our side!" he expressed. The Boss had to agree. Between nearly being choked out by Twilight, witnessing an entire army of Zin being wiped out, and this, the Boss made a note to stay on the equine's good side. Regardless, she ran to the door nearby, though groaned as it refused to open.

"Door's locked, Kinzie!" she shouted, turning back around and taking a brief moment to catch her breath.

"Dammit! It looks like the door is on a closed system. You guys are on your own for this one." Kinzie's response would have made her curse had Shaundi not moved to a nearby console and started working.

"Boss, Pierce, Twilight, cover me! I'll try to get it open!" Shaundi yelled.

"Sounds good!" she briefly replied, running towards the right side of the room to begin fending off wave after wave of Zin troopers.

"Boss! On the right!" Pierce yelled rather reduntantly.

Twilight reached the door along with the Boss, Pierce, and Shaundi shortly after they did, dropping the shields she had been carrying and all but one of the rifles as she remembered to save her magic for Zinyak. She didn't know how soon she would need it, but when she started to really feel the effects of her dwindling magic reserves, she decided to ditch the extra firepower.

She heard Shaundi's order and looked around frantically. She only had a vague understanding of what that actually meant, but she figured a more literal interpretation of such wouldn't be terrible.

Especially as she saw a large container of some kind dangling from the ceiling on her immediate left, suspended over a steam-spewing pit. Lighting her horn, Twilight enveloped the object in her magic, testing its considerable weight before sighing and pouring more power into her telekinesis. Better to expend more magic than to let somehuman die, she told herself.

She looked behind her at Pierce and Shaundi, the former standing near the latter and taking potshots at any Zin that weren't after the Boss. She then looked at the waves of Zin trying to advance around the Boss or trying to avoid her altogether by moving on the left.

A devious grin curved her muzzle as she tore the container down from the ceiling, its separation helped along by a convenient explosion. Straightening the object in her telekinetic hold, she aimed it very briefly before pushing it - not throwing it - into the leftmost walkway. Doing so not only firmly blocked the passage, but also crushed a few unlucky Zin that didn't see it coming.

The resulting crashes and clangs were enough to draw the attention of every human and Zin in the room, all of them glancing at the container and the three humans staring at Twilight with expressions of awe, approval, and disbelief.

Twilight allowed herself to feel proud of her accomplishment. Then she remembered how she should have been trying to conserve her magic.

When the fatigue hit her, it hit her hard. She gasped for breath as she suddenly felt herself at a loss for it, managing to stagger and stumble her way around Shaundi's console to try and recover.

She vaguely heard the Boss yelling something from nearby, to which Shaundi replied very loudly. "Oh, you know. Trying to hack alien technology while getting shot at. How do you think it's going?!" She definitely sounded irritated, and didn't even look up from her work to shout her reply. She paid the unicorn no mind as she hid behind the console, breathing heavily.

"Twilight, come on!" came the President's voice, this time over the device in her ear. "You can't be tired already!"

Regardless of whether or not the Boss would hear her, Twilight sighed. "I only have... so much magic, Boss...!" she explained, a little more frustration seeping into her tone than she meant to.

The Boss said nothing else on the matter. Twilight sighed and shut her eyes, trying to will magic into her body in spite of the impossibility of such a thing.

Vice President Keith David sighed and flicked the zipper of his jumpsuit as he left the ship's bathroom, starting to head back to the bridge. The actor wouldn't freely admit it, but he was getting anxious. Not over the possibility of failure, mind you.

Keith had no doubts that they would fucking destroy Zinyak when they reached him. As inept as the Boss had been as the President, that woman was a force of fucking nature. She would kill Zinyak.

He could have done without the waiting, though.

He passed through the Simulation room, now empty, and was about to leave through the opposite door when he noticed something in the corner of his vision. He turned and approached the odd object: a scroll. The actor-turned-politician scooped it up and started reading, turning to head back to the bridge as he looked over the message.

Kinzie, Ben King, and Asha Odekar were still there when he returned, with King briefly regarding him as he entered. He got a fuller look when the scroll was noticed. America's first and only black Vice President nodded at him and approached the man with the message. Without waiting for the hacker and MI6 agent to notice him or giving an explanation, Keith David began reading from the scroll aloud. By the time he finished, the other three were giving each other thoughtful looks.

Asha was the first to speak. "We can't give her this message," she very bluntly stated, crossing her arms while Kinzie turned to her work again. "She can't afford the distraction. None of us can." The sentiment got the two males' murmured agreements.

"Still..." Kinzie chimed in without looking, though was obviously making sure that Twilight wouldn't hear her. "If we're gonna do that, we're gonna have to make sure she never finds it. If she found out that we hid it from her, I don't think she'd have many problems with ripping us apart."

Keith sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose, turning their options over in his head while King spoke up. "We didn't find it until after Zinyak died, did we," he posed, crossing his arms.

The actor had to shake his head. Giving it some thought, any sort of treachery on their parts was very dangerous. Too dangerous. "... We have to tell her."

"What did I tell you?" Asha interjected, glowering at the VP. "If she loses focus, she'll become a danger to the mission."

"If we don't and she finds out, she'll become a danger to us," Keith insisted, messily rolling up the scroll and holding it tightly. "I never got to hear from my wife before Zinyak abducted me. She ought to hear what this "Princess Celestia" had to say." His well trained tone seemed to work on the other three humans, looking at each other for a moment.

"... Do we really want her to be thinking about the drama she'll run into when she gets home, though?" Ben posed, raising an eyebrow and adjusting his glasses.

Keith David shook his head again and opened the scroll, looking it over again. "I never said she should hear all of it."

Kinzie held up a finger. "I'm not doing it."

The armory door opened rather suddenly as Shaundi finished her work. The Boss had ordered her human companions to return to the ship while having Twilight remain with her.

For that much, Twilight Sparkle was grateful. She wouldn't enjoy being stuck on the ship and leaving the Boss to fight Zinyak alone.

"A thank you would have been nice!" she faintly heard Shaundi calling as she and the President walked through the open door and into a short hallway. After a quick right turn, they entered a large, circular room with suits of human sized... armor?

"Well well well~" the Boss uttered in a low, almost sensual tone, an eager grin plastered on her lips.

"It's a robot, isn't it," Kinzie practically sighed through her earpiece, the pony moving closer to one of the displayed suits to examine it more closely.

The armor itself was mostly grey, appearing metallic and very sturdy. The helmet didn't have any obvious eye slits or visor, however, which did puzzle the unicorn a little. What good is armor if you can't see anything in it?

"No, Kinzie," the woman uttered excitedly, her grin growing with every second. "It's power armor."

"No. Way."

"Fuck. Yes!" Twilight glanced back at the Boss in time to see her enter a small room with odd looking... Twilight struggled to name them as anything other than tentacles. Tentacles with odd grabbers on their ends, mind you. The human stood in the center or the room, leaving her rifle outside, as the doors slid shut.

Worrying noises began to issue from behind the door and Twilight's eyes went wide. "Boss!" she yelled, running to the door and beginning to pound on it with her hooves. "BOSS!"

The Boss snickered as the armor's "visual display" switched on, the arms pulling away and the door opening to reveal a worried, then relieved Twilight. For whatever reason, she could hear Stan Bush playing again, but she shook her head and started fiddling with the suit as if she had had it for years.

Eventually, she found something a little more fitting, grinning behind her helmet as she stepped out of the room. "Your turn, Twilight."

"Are you sure, Boss?" Kinzie chimed in over the music. The President of the United States merely chuckled, watching as the mare nervously followed orders.

"Too late!" she replied as the door slid shut once more and the machines did their work.

Twilight was expecting the process to hurt a lot more than it did. It wasn't pleasant, as the "tentacles" put the armor on her rather forcefully and secured it into place, but she could handle it. The armor itself wasn't uncomfortable, however. Even as the helmet was put together directly on her head, it wasn't that bad.

Her next observation was that of this "visual display" that she was given when the helmet was finished, allowing her to see through the opaque headgear without issue. It was really quite fascina-

She cried out in pain as a series of three needles pushed themselves into the back of her neck, her under-barrel, and directly into the very tip of her horn. She began trying to squirm away from the intruding lengths of metal, but what she felt in the following seconds stopped her.

Power.

So much power! She felt as if magic was being drawn into her and it was nothing short of incredible. Music started playing inside the suit as the doors opened, the unicorn unable to help a long, hearty laugh. "Wow! This is awesome!" she yelled, dashing out of the room.

And straight into the opposite wall. The impact dazed the mare slightly, but it hadn't hurt like it should have. She heard the Boss whistle behind her, gesturing towards the door opposite the one they entered from. "Let's go!" she declared simply, and Twilight followed the now sprinting Boss through it.

Running through the following hallway, a nearby explosion behind them made them both stagger, but it wasn't long at all before the two of them were standing in front of a huge pit. The gravity felt weaker, Twilight mused idly as she peered down it, about to raise questions about where they were going before a shove from behind answered that question for her.

"Booooooss!" she yelled, flailing as the human jumped down after her.

"Time for this to end!" she yelled back, her arms at her sides as the two females descended rather slowly down the empty, red shaft.

"Okay," Kinzie's voice sounded in her earpiece, still puzzlingly intact in spite of how her helmet covered her ears. "Now all you need to do is make it through the ship's infrastructure, take out all its defenses, and thereby clear a path for us to get to Zinyak."

"Is that all? Easy enough. You pick the others up?" the Boss replied.

"Yep, everyone's on board. We'll be right behind you as you clear a path." There was a brief pause, followed by another sounding of Kinzie's voice. "You're coming up on the defense grid. Touch those beams and you'll be fried."

Before Twilight could ask what she meant, huge red beams of energy began appearing in their paths, doing her best to dodge them as the Boss muttered an irate "Fucking death lasers..." Twilight was having surprisingly little difficulty in evading the red beams of death, puzzlingly able to alter her trajectory mid fall without doing much.

Twilight decided that the armor would be coming home with her.

"We're almost to you," Kinzie said again as the unicorn spun in midair once, idly wondering if this was how it felt to be Rainbow Dash.

"Kinzie, they're closing off the way through." Twilight raised an eyebrow under her helmet. Indeed, the way ahead was slowly closing off. They wouldn't be able to get through before it closed.

"Damn, they activated the blast shield. You'll have to land and find a way to override it." Twilight had an idea.

"With what?" She had power...

"You have power armor, so it's gotta have some weapons and powers built in. Use them." A lot of power.

"Hold on. Super powers? Here? It's like the Simulation was just training me for this moment..." Twilight lit her horn, the violet glow contained within her armor as she gripped the blast shield with her magic. She felt compelled to yell.

"Fuck your blast shield!" she exclaimed, focusing her magic into prying those doors apart. It may not have been the safest of ideas, considering how close to the shield they were getting, but it seemed to work out. The target of her telekinesis was not only torn open, but also torn apart. An explosion rocked the shaft, the remains of the blast doors now falling with them. She heard the Boss chuckle and say something, but Twilight wasn't listening. Instead, she was quietly giggling to herself with a manic grin plastered on her face.

She felt nothing. A spell of that scale and power should have totally emptied her magical pool, and yet her foolish, uninformed exertion went unpunished. If she could cast such spells without consequence... well, Zinyak didn't stand a chance!

Speaking of whom... "You can come for me... but you don't stand a chance." The alien emperor's voice sounded in both her ears and the President's, making the mare grit her teeth.

"One shall stand, one shall fall."

"Why throw away your life so recklessly, Saint?" Zinyak clearly wasn't talking to Twilight; she wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"That's a question you should ask yourself, Zinyak," the Boss retorted, immediately changing subjects. "Kinzie, can you get us into Zinyak's throne room?" Twilight noticed a large hole at the apparent bottom of the shaft.

"Honestly, I can't find a way to open it up."

"Fine. We'll find a way."

"Boss!" Twilight called, getting the woman's attention. "That hole!" She pointed with a hoof and the leader of the Saints nodded.

"I see it. I hope you're ready, Zinyak!" the human cried, the two headed straight for that sizable target.

The Boss and Twilight crashed through a vent of some kind and landed on their feet/hooves easily, turning their gazes upwards upon hearing that voice. "Quite the entrance." Fury began building within Twilight as she laid eyes on the one responsible for everything that had happened to her.

The room itself was enormous, the Emperor and themselves standing on a raised platform in the center while several other smaller platforms dotted the room around them. Steam rose from the space between each platform.

Even while sitting down on his massive, possibly gruesome throne, the pinkish skinned biped obviously towered over them both. He appeared very muscular, with odd black spikes protruding from the top of his head, his arms, and his chest. His legs, waist, and some of his torso were clad in what appeared to be armor, a red cape hanging over his right shoulder. In that same hand, he held a large goblet, idly sipping from it while a few red eyed CIDs hovered around him upon that raised throne.

"Figured you had a flair for the dramatic," the Boss replied as a CID flew to look at them both closely, advancing towards the alien while Twilight followed just behind her.

"Oh, you know me so well." That voice of his was infuriating.

"I'm really going to miss these bonding sessions when I kill you."

"Hmhmhmhm... Look at you... Mercutio to my Tybalt."

"Don't be too excited. Tybalt dies at the end."

Zinyak leaned towards the two, attention fully on the Boss. Twilight was okay with that. She was already thinking of creative ways to kill the smug sack of shit. "I'm surprised you knew that."

"I didn't. Kinzie told me over the radio."

"... Well, at least you're honest."

The Boss took another step forward. "Always. That way you know I'm not lying when I say I'm gonna rip your goddamn head off."

The Zin Emperor swirled his drink and smiled a sickening smile. "You're adorable." Then he turned his gaze towards her, and Twilight fought the sudden urge to shrink away. "And you... I had such high hopes for you. To think that you would throw away your home and everyone close to you... just to help this savage get her petty revenge."

Twilight growled and grit her teeth, lighting her horn within her helmet. "Like Tartarus I am!"

"Oh spare me your righteousness. This could all be avoided..." Zinyak smiled again and glanced at something on his throne, then back at her. "My fleet will arrive at your planet within the hour. Needless to say, there will be blood... However... I'm willing to offer you a chance to protect those dear to you."

Twilight said nothing, but listened closely.

"All you have to do is kill the President... and I will guarantee the safety of your friends, family, and your dear princesses. Refuse, and I will see to it personally that every last creature on your pathetic world suffers. And they will know that it was Twilight Sparkle that ultimately doomed them!"

"The choice is yours."

Twilight actually considered his offer. If it meant everypony's safety, it would be worth it, right? ... But he said only her friends, family, and the princesses. Her gaze shot upwards and she lit her horn again, making one of his CIDs fly at his head and frowning even more when he merely evaded the impromptu projectile.

"What a shame. Zinjai!" A much smaller Zin, meek looking, came to his side and took his goblet.

"Yes, your excellency?"

"Is the empire watching?"

"Of course, your excellency," his servant replied, several red screens showing hundreds of spectating Zin appeared around him as Zinyak stood. The throne he had been seated upon receeded into the floor and its platform vanished until the large circular pedestal was flat.

"Humanity is dead, my dear. It is time for you to follow suit."

The Boss charged the alien leader, pinning him down and punching him a few times while Twilight began casting a fire spell. Zinjai, however, tackled her to the ground and did the same with her until she picked him up and tossed him off the platform.

When she had repelled her attacker, she got back up and looked for her target, only to see the alien ruler had vanished. "What the-! Where is he!?" she cried, looking around frantically for him before a noise from above got the two females to follow its source.

A huge suit of that mechanized armor dropped from the ceiling, much more massive than the one on their ship. It landed with a deafening thud, its eyes glowing a fierce red and its massive arms spinning threateningly.

"That's uh... a big, fucking robot..." she heard the Boss mutter, just before the "robot" stomped and sent them both flying back.

Author's Note

Longest chapter yet! Here's hoping you guys like it!

I've been doing my best to keep things authentic and true to the actual game. I can only hope it hasn't become annoying.

Leave me some feedback! Next up: The President of the United States and The Bearer of the Element of Magic vs. The Emperor of the Zin Empire! Don't miss it, folks!

Damn your metal!

Twilight Sparkle panted softly as she leaped between platforms, quietly unable to believe how easily she could jump and how fast she could run. It must be the armor, she had concluded. Definitely the armor. No other explanation for how she could fucking glide around like Rainbow Dash on a lazy day existed.

And she wasn't at all complaining. It was exhilerating. The act of merely putting her hooves out in front of her was enough to slow her descent and allow excellent control of her trajectory. Even when she inevitably slammed into walls, rather than meeting them headfirst, she swung her back hooves forward to hit the wall and then to run up said wall. She felt like a spider. A fast, strong, magical, gliding, metal clad unicorn spider.

She just wished she could have been a little more useful. She could see the Boss firing odd blue energy balls at Zinyak's "robot" while dozens and dozens of "rockets" were fired back at the woman and at her.

Nopony... Nobody could accuse Twilight of not trying to even the odds, however. Whatever the "robot" was made of, it was resisting all her attempts to pick it up and tear it apart. Oh how it resisted, and oooooh how she had tried. Her frustrated grunts as she tried to not only tear the giant machine asunder, but to also block and redirect the rockets he fired at her, were quite loud.

Her attempts to burn him out and to teleport the robot into the wall also failed. Her frustrated growl earned a loud "Shut the fuck up!" from her human ally.

He also seemed quite capable of standing up to her more conventional attack magic. Fireballs and blasts of lightning were seemingly shrugged off by the immense feat of technology. What the fuck was it made out of, she had thought. After about five seconds, she stopped caring.

Instead, she resented just how useless she felt. Lacking means to directly attack Zinyak while the Boss plinked away at the alien leader left her dodging and occasionally providing support for the human by way of blocking rockets. She had also tried to teleport the President out of harm's way a few times, but it seemed that their armor also resisted her magic.

Now that had gotten her thinking. If the Boss' armor and Zinyak's robot were magicproof, that could very well mean that her own was magicproof. If that was the case, then perhaps Twilight could afford to be a biiiit more reckless with her spellcasting.

As the Boss put another lengthy volley of projectiles into the robot, it stopped firing its rockets, flying back to the middle of the room. "You're not leaving here alive, Zinyak," came the Boss' random taunt.

"You think you're winning, don't you? How amusing..."

Twilight came to stop on a smaller platform next to the Boss' and stood her ground. Much to her irritation, several beams of red light shot up from small... things in the larger platforms, reflecting off something on the ceiling and creating a cylindrical red shield around the damaged robot.

"Seriously?!" the woman and the mare yelled in perfect unison.

"I do hope you like my latest creations," Zinyak declared deviously. "They're very... friendly."

More of those CID things began to come out of the woodwork and fly around the massive machine. Twilight watched them warily as the Boss' voice sounded in her ear.

"How many of those things does he have?"

Their CID's monotonous voice gave its reply. "Readings on those CIDs show high amounts of explosives inside. I would not let them get close." Twilight's eyes widened slightly at that news, especially as several of them began to approach her and the President, beeping ominously.

"Aw fuck. What about getting past his shield, CID?" the Boss uttered as she froze a few CIDs and blasted a few others.

Twilight, on the other hoof, took all five that were approaching her in her telekinetic grasp, hurling them off in random directions. The last one she threw went right back at Zinyak, passing right through the barrier and exploding on the alien overlord's giant robot.

"Those CIDs seem to be able to pass though unhindered. Perhaps throwing them back would work."

Twilight smirked at her accidental ingenuity. "I can see that," she snapped back in a devious tone. The bookish unicor lit her horn again and reached out for as many of the robotic spheres as she could within her usual telekinetic range. She could reach much farther, but that would require extra effort and concentration. The mare didn't feel like being blown up while fishing for big metallic balls of TNT... Or whatever the Zin used for explosives.

"On it!" the Boss yelled, Twilight watching as the human leaped away from a very aggressive cluster of CIDs and launching one at their foe mid-glide. "Keep looking for a way to disable that shield!"

"Very well. I will attempt to find the power sources generating the shield."

"Just make it fast!" the Boss replied, landing on the opposite side of the room and frantically throwing CID after CID after CID at the alien emperor. Twilight stood her ground, her magic halting any CID that got close and swiftly returning them to their master at ridiculous speeds. It was a wonder the mere force of impact didn't send Zinyak's robot sprawling.

"Clever, but ultimately futile!" Zinyak declared defiantly.

"Nothing you have is gonna save you!" the Boss yelled.

Twilight grit her teeth. "We will stop you!"

"We'll see about that." As the conqueror of worlds said this, three portals appeared over their heads, Zin soldiers leaping out of each and immediately opening fire on the woman and the mare. The lasers' hits hurt, to be sure, but the armor was doing a lot to mitigate the damage it did.

She cast a fierce lightning spell on one of them and fried the bipedal alien, then began sprinting in a circle around Zinyak's troops, bowling them over or knocking them off the platform. The last one standing got a fatal dose of front hooves to the gut as Twilight leaped at it, managing to use her momentum and magic to swing her rear end between the Zin's legs and buck the unlucky alien in the back mid-spin.

She couldn't resist letting out a maniacal laugh at the ridiculous feat she had just performed. She turned her gaze on the remaining Zin as more leaped out of the still open portals, lighting her horn as two medicine ball sized orbs of swirling violet flame appeared on either side of her body.

For whatever reason, music began playing in her helmet, loud and... invigorating. She began to bob her head in time with the beat, pumping more magic into her horn and making her purple fireballs release directed columns of flame at every single Zin still standing.

Watching them burn, hearing them screaming (albeit faintly over the escalating beat of this odd new song), witnessing the violent, furious beauty of what she was really capable of... there were no words to describe it. Her mouth slowly curved into a massive, manic, Pinkie Pie-ish grin as her eyes grew wide and violent.

Then the bass dropped.

Twilight Sparkle jumped into the air and began gliding from platform to platform, roasting the Zin alive in time with the deep, energetic music. She stamped her hooves, bobbed her head, swung the massive orbs of fire that hadn't left her sides to the beat in a clumsy, unimpressive, but passionate and giddy dance of death. Her heart raced as adrenaline rushed through her body, eliciting an excited, frenzied, fiery "BUUUUUURN! BUUUUUUUURN! Hahahaahahahahaaa!" from the unicorn.

It was probably for the best that she was not thinking rationally about her own actions.

The Boss watched as her equine ally went fucking crazy, watching the mesmerizing pillars, waves, and swathes of purple magicky fire while still tossing CIDs at Zinyak's robot. While she would have liked Twilight to continue lobbing the bomb laden orbs as well, the human wasn't about to say it. Not only was she rather partial to the idea of not being on fire, but... well, the Boss almost didn't want to let Twilight go home now.

Having someone capable of that on her side would easily get the Saints anything and everything they wanted. Hell, if Twilight stopped caring enough, they could probably invade Equus themselves and take the place as a new home for humanity.

The Boss almost failed to notice the lack of pursuing CIDs as she shook her head. That would never happen. Twilight wasn't that kind of person... or pony.

When she did notice, she chuckled and yelled. "Having a few problems with your suit, Zinyak!?" she taunted.

"No, my dear Saint," Zinyak retorted proudly. "I am not the one with the problem! You forget... I have an army at my command!"

Shit. As soon as he said that, more portals began opening, SuperZin, shield CIDs, and Murderbots pouring out of them in droves. "Can't handle me yourself, huh?" she called back, using her hand blasts and an Ice Buff to kill everything on one platform as quickly as she could.

"And deny my people the enjoyment of aiding their beloved leader? I think not." His voice seemed so calm and nonchalant. It just made him so much more... behead-able.

However, when Twilight flew over her, still lost in her pyro craze, leaving scores of Zin cooking in their own skins and robots starting to melt in her wake, the President of the United States merely laughed. "Believe me. They aren't enjoying it~" she chimed cheerfully as a Stomp sent another wave of Zin flying.

"I have succeeded in unlocking the shield generators." CID's monotone interrupted the music as Twilight glided around the huge room, burning any Zin foolish enough to exist in her way. "Disable them and the shield should go down." She took note of three spires rising from the shield lasers' points of origin. She quickly put two and two together and began approaching them.

"No more hiding for you, Zinyak," came the Boss' voice in her ear.

"Don't expect it to be that easy for you..." the alien overlord chimed softly as several more portals opened, more of those smaller, shinier robots emerging from them.

Twilight, on the other hoof, was expecting it to be easy. And as she reached the first spire, letting her fireballs vanish, she gripped the entirety of the generator in her magic and began pulling.

In truth, she was surprised that the spire didn't resist her magical grasp. It bent and groaned under her influence, torn from the ground in a matter of seconds and ceasing its work on projecting the shield. Reassuringly, the red barrier dimmed slightly. Twilight grinned widely, beginning to swing the dismantled object in a circle around her to smash any of these so called "Murderbots" still firing on her... Of which there were many.

... Twilight suddenly realized how much her everything hurt. She had taken a lot of hits while destroying the first generator, and at least a dozen different places on her body burned like Tartarus. Twilight was now very glad to be wearing the armor.

"Sorry we're late!" Kinzie's voice startled her and the mare turned her gaze skywards, seeing several purple... things emerging from a new hole in the ceiling, each carrying a Saint. They flew in and began raining death on several Zin troops and "Murderbots."

"Time to get this shit started!" Pierce added.

"We're here, Boss!" Shaundi called.

"Don't worry, we got your back!" Johnny yelled.

"What is this intrusion?!" Zinyak angrily protested, to which Twilight merely chuckled.

"Glad you could join us~!" she cheered to her allies, leaping into the air and gliding towards the next generator as the Boss did the same for the third.

"Welcome to the party!" the Boss commented happily, using that ice power of hers as she shoved her armored arm into her target.

Twilight had to quickly duck as Johnny flew his vehicle about two feet above her head. "Get the fuck away from the Boss, assholes!" he cried, lasers slamming into troops surrounding the President.

The mare landed next to the last generator, ignoring the rest of the chatter from the other Saints as she skipped over the whole "rip it out of the floor" routine. Instead, she channeled her magic into the object, pumping more and more into it until it satisfyingly melted into a pile of molten slag.

The red shimmer in the corner of her eye vanished.

Zinyak was vulnerable.

The Boss saw her opportunity and immediately pointed her right hand at the emperor's robot, firing blast after blast after blast as rapidly as she could. With a mere ten hits, the entire thing exploded, sending Zinyak flying into a nearby pillar before he landed weakly on the floor, struggling to get up.

She grinned deviously, cracking her knuckles and gliding towards her soon-to-be victim. "Twilight. Come cover me," she ordered as she landed, striding towards the weakened Zinyak. "End of the road, Zinyak."

Twilight landed beside the President of the United States and lit her horn, creating a smaller dome shield around them to guard them against any interference. It was difficult, though. And not for a lack of magic.

There he lay. Zinyak, the bastard responsible for the Tartarus she had had to endure for the past fifteen months lay there, defenseless, exhausted, unable to do any more than groan a defiant "This. Changes. Nothing...!" Twilight sorely, sorely wanted to take him apart, slowly, painfully, to bring him suffering far beyond her own.

Yet she restrained herself... He was the President's to kill. She had pledged to help the Boss get her revenge and she wasn't about to go back on the Boss. As the Boss sauntered towards the alien overlord and delivered a devastating punch to his skull, she stood there and maintained the shield, watching in envy as he fell to the ground.

"Lucky..."

"Kiss your empire goodbye~" the Boss chimed in a tone that only slightly betrayed her childish glee over what she was doing. Watching him fall, and then seeing him desperately trying to crawl away filled her with such utter delight. "Where's your army to help you now?!" she then taunted loudly, following him and grabbing a hold of his waist to begin pulling.

"The legacy of the Zin Empire will continue to live on..." he feebly panted just before the wrathful woman wrapped her arms around his waist, lifted and fucking suplexed the much larger, heavier alien. As his huge head hit the floor, lying facedown on the ground, he stopped moving.

The Boss very briefly considered the possibility that he could already be dead.

Better safe then sorry. She came to stand next to his head, raising her right foot to slam it down on the back of his head. Then she stomped again. And again. And again, each blow producing a blissfully satisfying crunch of bone under her armored boot.

The Boss couldn't help a grin as she stepped over his head, crouching down and putting her left hand under his chin and right firmly against his forehead. She began twisting.

"You can kill me, but my people WILL avenge my death!" he managed, not even resisting the brutal tearing and pulling. "Then your race-"

A long, loud, orgasmically satisfying rip sounded from the alien's neck, Zinyak's head coming off in her right hand with his remarkably massive vertebrae hanging from the late ruler's dripping noggin. "-Is running shit now," she finished as she dropped the head, Twilight's shield vanishing as seven non-exploding CIDs watched her and the mare from above. She strode towards the middle of the platform, smiling widely behind her helmet as the former emperor's throne began to rise from its center. She could hear Twilight being surprised by the sudden change in footing behind her, but as she saw that seat emerge before her, she knew what must be done.

She took her place as the Empress of the Zin Empire. As Twilight Sparkle came to sit beside her throne, magically removing her helmet and smiling very softly at her, dozens of blue screens appeared all around her, showing Zin bowing to their new leader. The Boss just nodded, reaching for her own helmet and removing it with a noisy "CLUNK."

With it off, she saw the rest of her crew walking up to her new throne, nodding at them all. She also realized how hot it had gotten in that suit.

Shaundi seemed unimpressed. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

Kinzie seemed more accepting. "'Keep what you kill.' It's a classic."

The Boss just smirked, standing up from her throne and dropping her removed helmet on the glorified chair while idly scritching at Twilight's ear with her left hand. "So do I get a manservant or what?" she half-joked.

"Excellency." The vaguely familiar voice almost got its owner blasted. "I'm Zinjai, your personal steward," Zinyak's former second-in-command replied, bowing respectfully while also very slightly trembling.

The Boss turned to face her new servant. "Alright, ZJ, I need you to level with me. How technologically advanced are the Zin?"

"In our experience, we are the most advanced culture in the known universe."

The Boss' smirk returned as she kept noting just how terrified Zinjai seemed under his false, polite smile. He'd have made a really shitty politician back home, she idly thought. "Zinyak told a friend of mine that he could restore Earth," she began, casting a sidelong, "I still haven't forgiven you for that" glare at Vice President/Vice Emperor(?) Keith David. "Was he lying?"

"A... half truth, your Excellency. Earth has been atomized, there's no undoing that." The Boss sighed and started to sit back down when he continued. "However, time travel would allow you to see Earth again before it's destruction."

The new Empress turned back to Zinjai with wide, incredulous eyes. "Whoa whoa whoa... Time travel?"

"Zinyak was fascinated with Earth culture, he made it a point to go back and build a menagerie of his favorite humans."

A smile curved the leader of the Saints' lips, glancing at the rest of her crew.

"Don't tease me, your excellency," Pierce uttered with a smirk.

The Boss was tempted to go back in time for a celebratory dance party to the tune of Montell Jordan's "This is How We Do It," but a glance at the unicorn sitting at her side - staring hopefully up at her - made her rethink her priorities.

"Not yet, Pierce," she started, smiling down at Twilight Sparkle. "Ready to go home?"

"I've been ready for fifteen months, Boss," the pony replied softly, her tone lacking the snark to go with her words.

"Good," she replied, wiping a bit of sweat from her forehead. "... But first, send someone back to Nobody Loves Me. I want my damn clothes back. And a gun. A real gun."

Author's Note

Here it is. The chapter that got rewritten three times because I wasn't satisfied with the end product. I'm pretty okay with this version, though, so here you guys go.

I've been doing my homework on this mission in game. Since I couldn't find any videos of the final boss fight where the player was using female voice 1 on YouTube to save my life, I ended up playing through Punch the Shark at LEAST five times between the last chapter and this. I wanted to make sure the lines were authentic to a fault and I wanted a really clear picture of the fight in my head. I have that picture now... and I never want to play that mission again. :pinkiesick:

Leave me some feedback! Comment on this chapter! The Boss demands it!

... Well, okay, I would like it. Seeing that notification bell with that little red number just makes me happy.

Next chapter contains ponies! I promise!

The Dark Side Ending (Alternate Ending 1)

The Boss and Twilight crashed through a vent of some kind and landed on their feet/hooves easily, turning their gazes upwards upon hearing that voice. "Quite the entrance." Fury began building within Twilight as she laid eyes on the one responsible for everything that had happened to her.

The room itself was enormous, the Emperor and themselves standing on a raised platform in the center while several other smaller platforms dotted the room around them. Steam rose from the space between each platform.

Even while sitting down on his massive, possibly gruesome throne, the pinkish skinned biped obviously towered over them both. He appeared very muscular, with odd black spikes protruding from the top of his head, his arms, and his chest. His legs, waist, and some of his torso were clad in what appeared to be armor, a red cape hanging over his right shoulder. In that same hand, he held a large goblet, idly sipping from it while a few red eyed CIDs hovered around him upon that raised throne.

"Figured you had a flair for the dramatic," the Boss replied as a CID flew to look at them both closely, advancing towards the alien while Twilight followed just behind her.

"Oh, you know me so well." That voice of his was infuriating.

"I'm really going to miss these bonding sessions when I kill you."

"Hmhmhmhm... Look at you... Mercutio to my Tybalt."

"Don't be too excited. Tybalt dies at the end."

Zinyak leaned towards the two, attention fully on the Boss. Twilight was okay with that. She was already thinking of creative ways to kill the smug sack of shit. "I'm surprised you knew that."

"I didn't. Kinzie told me over the radio."

"... Well, at least you're honest."

The Boss took another step forward. "Always. That way you know I'm not lying when I say I'm gonna rip your goddamn head off."

The Zin Emperor swirled his drink and smiled a sickening smile. "You're adorable." Then he turned his gaze towards her, and Twilight fought the sudden urge to shrink away. "And you... I had such high hopes for you. To think that you would throw away your home and everyone close to you... just to help this savage get her petty revenge."

Twilight growled and grit her teeth, lighting her horn within her helmet. "Like Tartarus I am!"

"Oh spare me your righteousness. This could all be avoided..." Zinyak smiled again and glanced at something on his throne, then back at her. "My fleet will arrive at your planet within the hour. Needless to say, there will be blood... However... I'm willing to offer you a chance to protect those dear to you."

Twilight said nothing, but listened closely.

"All you have to do is kill the President... and I will guarantee the safety of your friends, family, and your dear princesses. Refuse, and I will see to it personally that every last creature on your pathetic world suffers. And they will know that it was Twilight Sparkle that ultimately doomed them!"

"The choice is yours."

Twilight actually considered his offer. If it meant everypony's safety, it would be worth it, right? The unicorn glanced at the Boss, then back at Zinyak...

She lit her horn, grasping every single CID in the room with her telekinesis, gritting her teeth as she turned on the woman. "... I'm sorry, Boss," she uttered softly, solemnly, forcing every single CID against the human's head.

The President barely had a chance to scream before the impacts eventually took down the woman. Whether she was dead or not was anypony's guess. Twilight dropped what remained of the robotic spheres and deeply sighed, shuddering inside her armor. "... Th-... There... I did it... Now will y-"

She felt something clamp down around her neck, a sharp, burning, draining pain filling her entire body and forcing her to black out almost immediately.

Twilight awoke with a start on cold, hard dirt, leaping to her hooves and looking around frantically. Her surroundings immediately proved familiar: Ponyville. There was no wind. Despite the sun's presence in the sky, everything was dim.

Twilight's eyes widened with realization, falling back to the ground in utter shock.

She was back in the Simulation.

The Boss was dead.

The Saints were probably dead.

Equus was gone.

Everypony was gone.

It was all her fault.

"... No... No... No please, no... no no no no no..." she whimpered pathetically, curling up into a little ball of remorse. As the tragically familiar sound of an approaching mob approached her, she did nothing.

She would let death take her as many times as Zinyak wished it. She deserved nothing less.

Author's Note

Grand Finale
Failed
Twilight Sparkle is a gullible piece of shit

And here's your first alternate ending. A tribute to the shitty dark side endings in every Star Wars game that has ever had a dark side ending.

You have every right to be... but stop it

"Ohhhhhhhh BABY!" Discord yelled as his entire body shook, startling the two princesses and the five mares that Celestia had foalna- taken for protection and the late Twilight Sparkle's dragon. He got an odd look from the gathered ponies, but he merely laughed and started somersaulting in midair incessantly.

"What is it, Discord?" his dear friend Fluttershy asked, meekly approaching him while hovering.

"Hahahaaaa~! You don't feel that?" he replied, grinning disturbingly widely as he looked over the variously annoyed mares. "... Of course you don't. You can't feel the big ball of chaos that just entered our atmosphere."

The ponies all gave him the stinkeye (aside from Pinkie Pie, of course) for a few seconds before realization dawned on all of them.

"What's that mean? Is Twilight alright?" Spike worriedly spoke up, his reptilian eyes boring hopefully into the draconequus. The chaotic creature rubbed his beard gently in thought, trying to get a feel for what exactly had caught his attention. Discord glanced at Fluttershy and her friends as she did so.

Pinkie Pie in particular. She had a grim look to her while still managing to be as bouncy as she usually was, while everypony else whispered to each other. He couldn't help but notice the distinct lack of the Element of Laughter's "Pinkie Sense." The draconequus had been aware of such for a long time, even while encased in stone, and had become familiar enough with it, given how... well, Discord-like she could be at times.

To him, their deliciously chaotic visitors were worth a "doozy" at least, but Pinkie Pie remained still. Upon further thought, he figured it wasn't terribly surprising, all things considered.

Celestia stared off into the space, ignoring the draconequus' gaze as she watched... something. She felt an immense magical power appear seemingly from nowhere, drawing steadily closer to Equestria with each passing second. She knew of very few ponies with such power.

It was not difficult to discern its owner.

And yet she was wary. The fur on the back of her neck stiffened and she frowned very slightly. As much as she would have liked to immediately reassure the remaining Element Bearers and the orphaned drake of Twilight Sparkle's return, she was having difficulty believing what she was feeling.

The magic was undoubtedly Twilight's, but with it existed a... darkness that had never been present before.

Any further focus was halted when she finally spared the attention to notice Discord. The Spirit of Chaos was conspicuously reclining on a couch mere inches from her face, very loudly and rudely eating crackers shaped like her. When glared at, the chaotic creature chuckled, crumbs spraying onto her face. "Nicsh of you to join ush, Shelly," he deadpanned, smacking his lips loudly.

Magically wiping Discord's mess off of her face, she turned to face everypony else, meeting their gazes and taking a silent breath through her nose before speaking.

"Twilight Sparkle is alive," she began, waiting to allow her student's friends and assistant their relief before continuing. "... But something is not right. I suggest you all steel yourselves... This may not be the same Twilight we all knew."

Rainbow Dash promptly flew up to her, appearing very much irate with her warning. "What's that supposed to mean?!" she yelled, eying the Princess of the Sun warily. Rarity's magic enveloped the cyan pegasus seconds later, removing her from Celestia's personal space.

"I can't say. We will have to see for ourselves." With those words, she turned to face her sister and Discord, both meeting her gaze. "Luna, you must remain in Canterlot until I return. If-"

Luna held up a hoof and nodded. "I understand, Sister. I will stay. Give Twilight Sparkle my regards, please," the Princess of the Night cut in, offering a very slight smile.

Discord frowned at Celestia, however, as the diarch spoke to him. "And you will stay here as well. If these "Saints" come in peace, then I don't want you there to provoke them." Her tone was stern, unwavering, informing the spirit of chaos and disharmony that there was no arguing.

Not that he did. He merely conjured up a chair and some tea, reclining in his new seat. "I expected as much. Not that it matters; I can enjoy the chaos from here~" He waved a paw at Celestia dismissively. "Now off with you while I reupholster the furniture with taffy."

Celestia deeply sighed at the draconequus' words as she lit her horn and teleported the Element Bearers and Spike away.

The new Empress of the Zin Empire had originally been disappointed that she couldn't put her old clothes on over her power armor. She would have liked to at least cover it up or something, but only her coat would fit. So she wore just her black strategem combo coat over the armor, leaving it open, as well as her favorite sunglasses.

The Boss smirked as she opened up yet another weapon crate that the dispatched shopping team of disguised Zin had retrieved, drawing from it yet another addition to her new arsenal. In addition to her alien pistols, she now carried a pair of Skorpions, and an AK-47 - the former concealed beneath her coat, and the latter carried in hand. Magazine after magazine lined her belt and pockets, probably enough to outfit a proper squad.

It felt damn good to have her guns back.

"Boss!" Pierce's voice sounded in her earpiece. "You gotta see this."

The woman raised an eyebrow, closing that crate and giving a thumbs up to a waiting Johnny Gat, who immediately set about to taking second dibs on the menagerie of weaponry. She departed the Simulation room turned armory and took the short walk to the bridge, a bounce in her step as she admired the unloaded AK in her hands.

It felt really damn good to have her guns back.

As she reached the bridge, seeing the rest of her crew gathered there, she immediately realized what Pierce had meant. The view of Equus from orbit was incredible. It was so colorful, so lush, so... Earthlike. It had a striking lack of blue in comparison to Earth, but it still looked like the usual NASA publicity photos or... something. A smile curved her lips.

"Hello, new Earth~" she muttered as she walked towards the rest of the gathered humans and the unicorn mare currently - and literally - pressed against the glass. Twilight Sparkle hadn't taken off her armor since Zinyak's demise, and the Boss couldn't blame her. She didn't really want to take hers off, either. She could have done with something cooler, and possibly a little more stylish, but she would make do until they made something she could wear under her usual outfit.

The Boss approached the pony and smirked, resting her rifle over her shoulder and poking Twilight's matted, messy mane. "Ya know, it looks a lot like Earth," she commented, getting the unicorn's attention and coaxing her away from the glass.

"It's beautiful..." she uttered softly, a soft smile curving her muzzle. "It looks so different from up here..." A long pause. "It looks like your Earth?"

"Kinda," the woman replied, gripping her gun with her left hand to idly scratch at the pony's ears. "Earth had a lot more water, though."

Twilight gave a quiet nod of acknowledgement, watching as the ship was flown towards her home planet. As the ship was engulfed in fire, the craft rumbling with their entry into Equus' atmosphere, she heard the equine sigh.

Why was she sighing, the Boss wondered. She was going home, after all. That was what she wanted all along, right? "Somethin' on your mind, Twilight?" she quipped, not noticing the interested looks she was getting from some of her crew and even a couple of Zin recruited to fly the ship.

"I'm just..." she began, shaking her head very slightly. "I've been gone so long... I don't know what's changed since I've been gone, but..." Twilight stopped there, the rumbling making her very obviously nervous. "... I don't know..."

The Boss just shrugged. "Hey, we're flying blind here, too," she replied, pulling the bolt on her AK to get the purple pony to look at her. "Why do you think I have so many guns? ... Actually, not enough guns..."

Twilight immediately became more nervous, stepping towards the Boss. "We shouldn't be attacked, Boss," she began. "... I hope. I don't know if they got my letter."

The two females turned towards the rest of the Saints when someone snapped their fingers. Keith David stepped forward, holding an unsealed scroll. Twilight loudly gasped at the sight of such parchment, magically snatching it out of the actor's hands before he could say anything.

"Keith, what the hell are you-" Asha began, though was interrupted by the VP.

"I lied," he cut in before turning to look at Twilight. "I didn't find this until after you, Shaundi, Pierce, and the President had left."

The British agent approached the man, clearly unhappy. "What ever happ-"

"Shut up, both of you," Kinzie yelled from her seat, tapping away busily at her laptop as she followed some of the Boss' orders. "I'm trying to get this done before we land."

The Boss just watched Twilight as she hungrily read over the scroll, then sighed and walked back to the Simulation room to grab herself a shotgun, a sniper rifle, and an RPG.

Twilight Sparkle's initial enthusiasm had quickly faded when she read the very first sentence, and from there, she continued on solemnly. And then worriedly.

As it was, this little letter was basically a warning for Princess Celestia's disappointment. She couldn't have cared less about being impersonated. She was instead wrapped up in Celestia's second paragraph.

"I never thought you had such vulgarity in your vocabulary, first of all. Nor have I ever seen you as a violent mare. As I read your message, I must admit, I found myself hoping for yours to be a forgery. The concept of a pony such as you having fallen so far is a thing that I cannot imagine without a grimace."

Twilight let the letter fall to the floor, sitting on her haunches and turning her attention back to the window in time to not notice the Boss leaving the room. A heavier feeling of dread washed over the mare, letting out a deep, slow sigh through her nose.

"... This is gonna suck," she told herself aloud as the ground drew steadily closer in the window.

Princess Celestia, Spike, and the other Element Bearers waited with varying levels of excitement and caution in the flatlands far south of the Crystal empire, the air cool, but not unbearable. None of them noticed the air, though, as they watched a strange, grey, noisy flying object fly towards them. Soft murmurs sounded from the six Ponyville residents while Celestia remained silent.

Celestia found herself focusing on her student again, however. It disturbed her to no end to find that the magic surrounding the mare seemed to be getting absorbed into her, albeit slowly. Her carefully sculpted neutral expression was ruined by the disgusted frown that soon replaced it. There was a very good reason why such magic was forbidden, and the idea of Twilight Sparkle making use of such dark arts was equal parts worrying and infuriating.

Regardless, the grey object drew closer rapidly, the noise making them all wince as it grew louder and louder. Eventually, it began to hover several dozen yards away from the group, starting to slowly lower itself to the ground while spinning around to face in the opposite direction. Odd protrusions emerged from the bottom of what seemed to be the vehicle, appearing to be naught more than thick skis on the end of metallic "legs."

After nearly a minute, it touched down on the ground with a loud thump, the fire having died down and nearly completely faded as the offensive sound the vehicle made died down to a much more tolerable level.

The mares behind her began to murmur among themselves as Celestia took a deep, quiet breath through her nostrils, her expression only betraying her caution to the most well trained eye.

For at least another minute, nothing happened, the object remaining still. However, it wasn't long before the back of the craft let out a loud clunk, a huge door beginning to open to lower towards the ground.

Nine tall figures began to become visible as the door slowly opened, the sluggish portal eventually revealing them all to be mostly furless bipeds in grey clothing with the exception of one. The exception wore black sunglasses and a black coat over what appeared to be a suit of armor, though it lacked any obvious helmet. It carried a long object reminiscent of a crossbow, seemingly made of a combination of metal and wood. There were also two other similar objects on its back, one a dull green and the other a collection of browns and black. The most of the bipedal creatures were carrying similar objects in their fleshy paws, either in a shiny, drastically different design to the exception's own, or identical to such. One of them sat down on the ground once outside, busily tapping away at a sleek looking black device the likes of which the alicorn had never seen.

Once the door finished opening, the nine creatures began walking towards the group, with no Twilight Sparkle in sight. The alicorn sighed inwardly and began approaching the bipeds to meet them halfway, stopping once they were only a few yards from each other.

"Who are you?" Princess Celestia asked, her tone cautious.

The armored one chuckled and rested whatever it was it was holding on its shoulder, smirking at the Princess. "Leader of the Third Street Saints, President of the United States of America, and the new Empress of the Zin Empire as of..." She paused, appearing to think for a second. "-a half hour ago."

The Zin! "So you are the invaders? What of this 'Zinyak' we were warned about?" The creature raised an eyebrow at the mention of the warning, but merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Zinyak? Dead. His head's on the ship if you want to see it," the apparent female replied, gesturing over her shoulder towards the quieting vehicle.

Celestia frowned slightly, eying the creature intently as the others either looked her over, looked at the five other ponies behind her, or at the green meadow they had landed in.

"What are you doing here?" she then queried firmly, her eyes narrowing. "Where is Twilight Sparkle?"

The Empress snickered and looked over her shoulder, hefting the object in its paws off such and smiling. Celestia saw what appeared to be grey metal legs approaching the aliens from behind. She watched them carefully until the creature right beside the Empress - a dark brown skinned one with a fedora - stepped aside. The collective gasp of everypony behind her was noticed by all.

After fifteen long months, the real Twilight Sparkle now stood before them... Or so she hoped. Celestia heard hooffalls behind her, but held out her own to stop the rushing mares and dragon, now wary of this pony. She stared at the unicorn, examining her.

Twilight looked terrible, for starters. Her face was bruised in a few places and her mane and tail were a mess. A small amount of dried blood stained the fur around her nose, and a much smaller amount had dried upon her horn. Most notable, however, was the armor she now wore. Looking at it, it appeared very similar to the "Empress'" own suit, but appeared to be in worse shape. It appeared scorched in many places all over the mare, and what wasn't scorched appeared to be coated in a fine layer of soot.

Most striking, however, was her behavior. Twilight Sparkle was not dashing over to them to embrace her teacher, her friends, and her dragon. Instead, she half hid behind the bipeds, watching the Princess and Element Bearers with equal parts happiness and... fear.

"Twilight Sparkle..." she muttered softly, stepping towards the pony. She stopped quickly, however, when the mare flinched away. Immediately, she snapped her gaze to the so called "Empress." "What have you done to her?" she demanded lowly, deeply, her expression becoming much more intense.

The creature looked down at the mare, then frowned right back at Celestia, apparently unfazed by the alicorn's words. "Tone it down, Sunny C," she chided, reaching for her student and scratching at her ear lightly.

"Do not test my patience, alien. I have very little left," the Princess of the Sun uttered coldly, the ambient temperature of their surroundings raising a few degrees. "Answer the question."

The "Empress" shook her head and sighed. "Look, we're not here to fight," she began, holding up a paw in a "stop" gesture. "And we didn't do anything..." A pause. "Actually, I'll tell ya later. Go on, Twilight."

The creature gave the armor clad mare a nudge with her right leg, pushing Twilight in front of the group and watching as the pony gave a nervous look back at her, then at her friends.

"... H-Hello, everypony."

"Twilight!" everypony behind her cried, ignoring the diarch's attempt to stop them as the mares and dragon rushed towards the returned mare.

Celestia barely had time to register the look of utter horror on her student's face.

The Boss raised an eyebrow when she saw Twilight freeze up, stepping forward to get a look at her face. Her eyes were wide, her pupils tiny. She began stepping back, shaking her head subtly. "Twil-"

"N-NO! G-GET BACK!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, making the Boss jump back and reflexively bring her loaded AK-47 to bear on the armor clad equine. The mare suddenly sprinted to the right, startling the other equines and eliciting an irate sigh from the new ruler of the Zin Empire just before she started sprinting after her.

"Get back here, dammit!"

Watching her student and the aliens' apparent leader dashing away at an incredible speed left both parties surprised, though her own was more confused while theirs was more resignedly annoyed. Celestia tracked the running pair as they headed west, eyes narrowed. "... Rainbow Dash. Pursue them."

"On it!" A rainbow streak shot after the running females, leaving the other bipeds alone with the ruler. Celestia watched the speedy trails of the three until they disappeared behind a hill, sorely tempted to give chase, but unwilling to leave the other mares and Spike alone with these outsiders.

Speaking of which, one of them began approaching her, one with dark brown skin, very short black fur atop its head, and a grey and black jumpsuit. It handed the shiny object it had been holding off to another, offering the alicorn a smile. "I apologize for the President's behavior. You get used to it after a while," he began in a pleasing, deep, masculine voice, offering one of his paws... or hands to her. "I'm Vice President Keith David."

Celestia regarded this being skeptically, but extended a hoof to meet it as he gripped such and gently shook it once. "This behavior is... normal?" she asked, managing to hide how much she dreaded an affirmative answer.

"For better or worse," he emitted with a sigh.

Celestia sighed as the ponies and drake accompanying her turned to watch this "Keith David" creature. She briefly recalled the letter; Twilight referred to them as "humans", if memory served. "What did your leader do to Twilight Sparkle?" she then asked, her tone calmer.

"Hit 'er a few times, from what I heard."

Celestia lit her horn. "Explain. Now."

The Boss glided behind the fleeing mare, groaning as she constantly adjusted her course while Twilight dashed away. She had her Stomp power ready, set to its "Gravity" element so that Twilight would be disabled once caught. She also had had to change a few of her other powers around, setting her Telekinesis back to its standard "Force" element and her Blast back to its icy properties. She was trying to catch Twilight, not kill her.

Landing on the ground several yards behind the unicorn, she thrust both hands out towards her, attempting to pick her up in her Telekinesis. She was out of range, however, making her sigh and attempt to run faster. "For fucks sake, Twilight, get back here!" she yelled, leaping high into the air and air-dashing twice to get in closer.

A rainbow-y blur shot past her from below, startling the gliding human slightly as a winged pony with blue fur, a fucking rainbow mane and tail, and gleaming, fancy looking golden armor. Said pony very quickly caught up to the fleeing Twilight, and a few seconds later, they were keeping pace with the unicorn.

"Twilight! Stop it!" she yelled, earning a glance from the equine Saint. She definitely looked spooked, with wide eyes and an expression not far off from the one she wore just before they started with their Zinyak-murdering plan. It was a look that screamed trouble.

"You're not killing me again!" she screamed back, gritting her teeth as the Boss sprinted harder. "I'm killing you!" Twilight jumped high into the air, lighting her horn and capturing the pursuing pegasus in her magic. Before the rainbow maned equine could respond, Twilight propelled her victim forward, then downwards into the ground before her, literally burying said victim's head in the dirt.

In doing so, she also ended up tripping over said grounded pony, tumbling head over tail for several feet. The Boss quickly dodged the first downed mare and grabbed a now flailing Twilight Sparkle in her Telekinesis.

"Put me down!" the damaged pony protested as the Empress picked her up, unable to do anything while suspended in the human's invisible hold. The human shook her head and began to run back towards the landed ship and the rest of her crew, leaving the unfortunate, dazed, stuck pegasus behind. While running, she saw Twilight's horn beginning to glow, responding by jumping into the air and tossing Twilight at the ground.

The mare cried out in pain as she hit the grass, leaving a shallow crater upon impact. Of course, just for good measure, the Boss repeated the process once more, making sure that she had knocked the powerful unicorn out before returning.

Celestia's nostrils flared with anger as she saw the "Empress" return with a further battered and unconscious Twilight Sparkle in her invisible... magic-less telekinetic grasp. Never mind the fact that Rainbow Dash hadn't returned yet, her student had been attacked and these aliens just stood by and accepted it.

"Ughhhh..." the Empress uttered in an irate tone, lowering her knocked out quarry before dropping her. Twilight's friends and dragon rushed ahead to check on the fallen mare, and Celestia walked up to her as well, regarding the pony briefly before snapping her gaze to a shrugging human. "Hey-"

"Silence," Celestia coldly interrupted through clenched teeth, her fury quieting the alien as one of her companions - a light skinned male in grey with golden chains and a more unique pair of sunglasses - pointed one of his "guns" at the ruler. "You intrude in our realm, hurt my student, attack my guard, and have the gall to shrug about it? Leave."

The human, while silent during her angry speech, did not back down, and instead pointed one of its armor clad fingers at her. "Bitch, I didn't do a damn thing," she began defiantly. "That was Twilight. I knocked 'er out before she tried it on me."

Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Twilight would never turn on her friends! The Princess stormed forward towards the brave, foolish alien, her horn lighting while the rest of the "Empress'" companions trained their weapons on the alicorn. "You would accuse my student of assaulting a dear friend?" she yelled, her tone booming across the plains. "Allow me to rephrase that. Leave now or die."

"Twiliiiight!!!"

That jerk! That bucking jerk! Rainbow Dash was seething by the time she pulled her head out of the ground, her head and helm covered in dirt.

After all this time, after being gone for so damn long, Twilight greeted them by freaking out, running away, screaming about killing her, and launching her into the ground. Rainbow Dash struck the ground with her front right hoof with a grunt of exertion, spreading her seemingly undamaged wings and taking off to return to Princess Celestia.

As she flew back, she had to wonder what had gotten into Twilight. Why would she say something like "You're not killing me again?" Twilight hadn't even been around! What in Tartarus could make her think that Rainbow Dash had killed her?

... How the f- buck could she have been killed before? You only die once.

Before she could think more on it, she returned, landing on top of the odd carriage thing and screaming. "Twiliiiight!!!"

She looked around to find the psycho pony lying on the ground, out cold, surrounded by her friends and the Princess while the President of whatever pointed at Celestia, arguing. All eyes were on her as she looked around, raising an eyebrow.

"Rainbow Dash?" the Princess uttered, her tone not matching her expression at all. "Did Twilight Sparkle attack you?"

Did she really need to ask? Isn't it obvious, she thought, flying down to stand at attention at the Princess' side. "Yep!" she said without hesitation.

Celestia let out a deep sigh, shaking her head and backing up from the "humans." "I am in error. I apologize for my rashness," she apologized, closing her eyes and sighing again. "This does not excuse you from hurting Twilight Sparkle, however. You will all come with me to Canterlot and explain yourselves."

The Princess turned towards the rest of her group and lit her horn, being able to grasp all but two in her teleport's range. Twilight was resisting her magical influence, but once she grasped the mare and not the armor, she found success. The Empress, for whatever reason, was not cooperating, even when Celestia tried teleporting the human without her armor. She glared at the human, eying her armor and shaking her head. "... You will have to travel on land. I cannot teleport you," she uttered, though frowned at the Empress' worrying grin.

"Cool. It's that castle on the mountain, isn't it?"

"... Yes... How-"

"It's a big white castle on a fucking mountain. Kinda obvious."

"Point taken. Rainbow Dash." The guardspony snapped to attention for her Princess. "Please accompany..." She trailed off, glancing back at the human in question expectantly.

"My name is a national secret."

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Accompany the Empress to Canterlot. If she does something stupid, you will apprehend or kill her."

"Yes, Princess!" Rainbow Dash obediently replied, watching as her friends and the Empress' friends were teleported away, leaving the two alone at the landing site.

The armored human glanced at her, managed a grin and put a foot back. She looked ready to run. "Race?"

Rainbow Dash grinned, landing and getting ready.

"ReadyGO!" The human was off before Rainbow Dash could react.

"H-Hey!" the pegasus took off immediately, almost tempted to demand a do-over, despite the human's obvious inferiority.

Author's Note

The alternate universe tag is there for a reason, now more than ever.

Please, do leave a comment!

We're nearing the end! Next chapter!

Saints Row IV: Diplomacy Edition

In the time since they had left without the Boss, Kinzie had seen fit to speak to no one. She personally didn't see any point, as she was just the President's Press Secretary. And the alabaster white and midnight blue alicorns hardly seemed interested in asking her questions.

Just as well; she had a job to do. One that she had little time to do. From what the occasional message from Zinyak's number two had told her, not all Zin were behind their new human rulers. Pockets of resistance were already popping up on outlying Zin controlled planets, violently making themselves known. As for the aptly named planet Zin, such rebels were already being exterminated. They'd have to make their business on Equus brief.

Kinzie shook her head at the idea, ignoring the questioning gaze she earned from the blue alicorn. It wasn't as much about making their time on Twilight's homeworld short as it was about getting the Boss to leave.

Still, at least with CID still on the ship, she had a way of getting shit done.

Celestia regarded the remaining humans with her usual, neutral expression, all of them sitting around the dominating table of the castle's banquet hall. Some were voraciously devouring the offered fruit and pastries while a few others did not eat. One of them, an apparent female, was busily fiddling with some black object, paying none of them any mind. Another female was just sitting with her "arms" crossed, glaring at her.

They mostly focused on their meals, with the exception of the one called Keith David. He munched on an apple occasionally, but otherwise continued to spin a seemingly impossible tale of an alien invasion, nightmarish virtual worlds, and their quest for vengeance against the late Zinyak.

What struck her and her sister most, however, was the story of their home planet's destruction. When pressed further, Keith David had explained that Zinyak had made their "Earth" explode in response to their leader's escape from her "Simulation." The way he had explained this, however, told her a liiiiittle more...

"You blame your leader," she stated flatly, sipping at her tea after she said such and earning a sigh from the darkly skinned human.

"... I do," came his resigned reply. "Nothing I can do about it now." Keith David subsequently averted his gaze, finding the similarly colored, fedora wearing male next to him more interesting.

Celestia allowed him time to think whatever he needed to think, glancing at her sister in the meantime. Luna's eyes were firmly locked upon the other sunglasses wearing human, watching him almost without blinking. The object of her intrigue would occasionally glance up at her, whereupon Luna would look to his rapidly dwindling food or to the weapon he had on the table beside it.

"What does he make you feel, Lulu?" the Sun Princess quietly asked in a half-teasing, half-serious tone, earning her sister's attention and a sigh.

"Unease. Hostility. Curiosity," the Mare of the Night whispered back tersely, narrowing her eyes. "It is dangerous. Extremely dangerous."

"The most dangerous!" the human in question declared with a snarky smirk before biting into a nearly finished apple. "S' don' do anyhin' shupid."

Luna glared at him. "You will speak to me with respect, creature."

"I'm just sayin'," he replied nonchalantly, putting his hands up briefly as he tossed an apple core over his shoulder and continued eating.

Celestia sighed and shook her head, looking towards Keith David who seemed to be lost in thought. "Mister David," she addressed, getting his attention. "Would you care to continue your tale?"

The man paused briefly, looking off to the side at the busy female before answering. "Not yet. The President is almost here," he replied politely with a smile just as polite and forced. "She did most of it, so she can tell you more."

Celestia eyed him for a few seconds before just nodding and waiting.

Roughly ten minutes later, all equines gathered in the banquet hall turned their attention towards the door back to the main corridors, the sounds of loud and boisterous conversation penetrating into the room. Oddly enough, the gathered humans didn't seem to notice the sound. Perhaps they had inferior hearing, Celestia mused as the voices grew closer.

And then the door was shoved open forcefully, startling several of the unaware bipeds.

"I am the GREATEST!" came a triumphant shout, courtesy of the Empress. She strode confidently into the room with an irritated looking Rainbow Dash in tow. "How late are we?" she subsequently queried as Rainbow Dash flew over to their sides and stood at attention obediently.

Celestia shook her head and put on a polite smile. "Not very. I was hoping you would continue where your Vice President left off."

The Empress didn't respond right away, taking a seat with her comrades and casually propping her feet up on the table. She then eyed the Sun Princess for a short while, snickering and grabbing an apple from the table. "... You're a lot easier on the eyes when we're not killing each other."

Celestia and Luna didn't really know how to take that comment, the former raising an eyebrow and letting her sculpted smile turn to a bewildered frown. Her sister was unfortunately sipping tea at the time, and hearing the armor clad human spout such nonsense left her sputtering and coughing, tea spraying onto the table and slightly wetting a light skinned, black haired human male. "... Excuse me?" Celestia managed after a few seconds.

"Yep. Keith, where'd you stop?"

"After Zinyak blew up Earth."

The confident biped nodded and bit into her fruit, taking her time with it before speaking. "Well, first I had to break my crew out of their Simulations..."

When Twilight Sparkle first became aware, she groaned weakly at what felt like a broken nose. Her eyes remained shut, however, her ears perked to listen. She could hear a chorus of different, predominantly feminine sounding voices around her, probably those of either her friends or the Boss' female allies.

Am I home, she asked herself, taking note of what she could feel around her. Particularly what she could not feel. The weight of her power armor was gone, as was the moderate comfort of the jumpsuit the Saints had given her. Instead, she was lying in a bed, under a blanket, with somep-

Scales. Spike?

Twilight allowed her eyes to finally begin to open, her vision blurry in the apparently dim room. A single second later, she saw a familiar purple head pop into her line of sight, wide green reptilian eyes boring into her own.

"Twilight!!" Spike yelled, embracing the unicorn tightly and smiling ridiculously widely as he openly wept. The mare grunted softly as he squeezed her barrel, slowly moving her forelegs to return the hug. The entire time, the newest Saint wore an expression of incredulous, weary, unfocused confusion, her mouth slightly agape and her half-opened eyes staring straight ahead at the opposite wall.

"S... Spike..." she managed mindlessly, blinking several times to try and clear her vision. As she did, four colorful blobs began to take form in the corners of her vision; white, orange, yellow, and pink. "... Girls?" As her blurry eyesight slowly improved, she noticed just how colorful the room was, with Pinkie Pie's obvious work strewn about the room; balloons, streamers, a banner that probably welcomed her home...

"G-Good afternoon, Twilight..." Fluttershy's unmistakeable mumble sounded from her right.

"How are you feeling, Darling?" came Rarity's sophisticated tone from the left.

Twilight paused, tears forming in her eyes. "This... This is really happening... I-It's really you, isn't it...?" she slowly, deliriously uttered, as if she hadn't seen them all at the landing.

"Of course it's us, silly~!" Pinkie cheerily chimed, trotting over and eagerly throwing her front legs onto the bed to embrace the lavender pony. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Twilight Sparkle cringed - both at the tightness of the hug and at the innocently biting question. Do I really want to tell them, she asked herself, closing her eyes as her eyelids forced tears out. How could they possibly take the fact that "they" had been murdering her repeatedly inside her Simulation. ... Could they take that fact at all?

"Somethin' wrong there, Sugahcube?" Applejack's accented, concerned voice pressed, getting her to look at the farmer mare and to begin stalling.

"Ummmm... where's Rainbow Dash? Is she okay?" she dodged, though with good reason.

"Rainbow? Well, she ain't happy with ya, but she's fine," AJ replied, frowning. "Now what in the hay was ya'll running off about?"

The equine Saint visibly winced at that query, looking down at her barrel and at the enamored drake attached to it. "... Uhhh... It's a long, long story..." she began, feebly trying to stall despite herself. "... Why is she a guardspony?"

It was their turn to recoil at her dodging reply, looking nervously between one another in a sort of "oh, right, she doesn't know" way. Twilight didn't need to feel 100% to figure that there was a story behind their hesitation.

"... Girls... what happened?" she asked, gulping as she began to dread the answer.

The four ponies looked at each other some more before Rarity sighed and offered an apologetic smile. "Maybe I should go fetch Rainbow Dash first," she began, her forced smile growing slightly in size. "She was larger part of it than we were."

The spellcaster appraised the dressmaker carefully for a few seconds before wordlessly nodding her head.

Retrieving the speedy flier was simple; Rarity's errand barely took more than a few minutes. The two entered Twilight's room and Rainbow Dash's gaze immediately snapped to the bedbound pony.

Barely a second later, Rainbow Dash was in her face. "You wanna tell me what the hay that was for?!" she yelled, her anger resurfacing and startling the violet mare.

"I-I-I'm sorry..." the unicorn answered quietly, actually hiding a little in her covers and earning Rainbow a surprisingly hostile glare from Spike. The reaction gave the normally hot-headed pegasus pause, getting her to back away a little (much to Rarity's and Applejack's relief). That was a response she would expect from Fluttershy, not Twilight Sparkle. The Twilight she knew would be apologetic and awkward, or would stand her ground.

Rainbow was silent for a moment, then sighed, rubbing her snout with a hoof before removing her dirty helmet. "Sorry... I just... Ughh... I gotta clean this..." came her excuse to exit the awkward silence she'd created.

Twilight watched her friend walking away, hearing her grabbing a cloth and water to begin polishing the dirt off of her golden helmet. The rest of her friends gave Rainbow Dash their attention briefly before, again, glancing between each other nervously.

Eventually, Applejack spoke up. "Well, sugarcube, ya didn't miss a lot, but... what ya'll did miss was pretty big..."

Rarity cleared her throat while Pinkie Pie walked to the window to just stare out of it. "Seven months ago, a centaur calling himself Lord Tirek escaped from Tartarus," the dressmaker began. "To make a long, dreadful story short, he started stealing everypony's magic. Everypony!"

"The Princesses, too..." Fluttershy quietly added, taking a quick look at a busy, irate looking Rainbow Dash before looking away. Twilight continued to listen.

"He banished the Princesses to Tartarus and made himself king of Equestria!" Rarity resumed, unable to keep her flair for drama out of her tone. "That big brute enslaved everypony and made the five of us find anypony he had missed... He told us that if we refused, he..." The mare stopped, her expression turning grim and her eyes darting between the other gathered ponies as if looking for help.

"... He... He what...?" Twilight pressed, dreading the necessary answer.

The wet splat of a damp cloth being tossed into the room's sink got everypony's attention, courtesy of a forlorn Rainbow Dash. She put her helmet back on and slowly walked back to Twilight's bedside. Spike began to glare at the flier once more, but the purple unicorn noticed and nudged him to prompt him to stop.

"He killed my mom and dad." The room was quiet, the bedridden Saint staring at the speaker as pity moved her expression. Despite the headgear, Rainbow Dash appeared as though she was still coping with the loss, if the depressed look in her eyes was any indication. Twilight was about to give her condolences, but RD deeply and heatedly inhaled through her nose to continue. "When I told him that I wouldn't do it, he found my mom and dad..." Rainbow Dash's tone became angrier with every word. "... They showed up right in front of me. I tried to break them out of the bubble he put them in, but I couldn't move."

The guardspony then lifted her head, staring deep into Twilight's violet eyes. The unicorn couldn't help but feel as though Rainbow Dash blamed her. "He filled their bubble with water and... and he made me watch them drown." Rainbow grit her teeth and looked away, obviously trying to keep herself from crying.

"... Rainbow Dash..." Twilight managed, shifting on the bed so that she could lie on her stomach, her legs tucked under her. "... I'm... I..."

"Save it," Rainbow harshly spat, taking the spellcaster aback. "... I don't want your pity."

"Rainbow Dash, please, be reasonable," Rarity interjected, approaching the cyan pegasus.

"I am being reasonable, Rarity," came RD's immediate response. "If we'd had Twilight, we could've used the Elements. None of this would've happened." A pause, during which a successful Rainbow looked up at Twilight. "I know it's... not your fault... I just..."

"It's... It's alright, Rainbow Dash... I get it." Silence again. Rainbow Dash glanced back at Pinkie Pie, still watching out the window and barely moving.

"He did the same thing to Pinkie Pie... But she convinced him not to... She made him Pinkie promise, too." An insensitive part of Twilight wanted to ask how the fuck she got him to do that, but she kept her mouth shut.

"But he's gone now, right? What happened?" Twilight asked instead.

"Rainbow Dash got away," Applejack chimed in, smiling at the mare in question. "She found this centaur, uhhh... Scorpion-"

"Scorpan," peanut gallery Rarity corrected.

"... Scorpan. She got out of Equestria an' found Scorpan."

Rainbow Dash let out a short snicker. "You ever try to talk a centaur into going to war?" she queried, allowing her pride to return to her voice. "I had to. Scorpan didn't really want to try to kill his brother, but I convinced him to convince their king to do it." Then Rainbow Dash looked annoyed. "Then I had to go to the Griffons to talk them into it, then I had to be snuck into Zebrica to get the Zebras to fight back, then we all had to free the Diamond Dogs from slavery and get them to fight back... All without my magic, too! It sucked!"

Twilight regarded her friend with surprise. "... So what you're saying is that you single-hoofedly started a rebellion and created an army to oppose Tirek."

Rainbow Dash snickered again, spreading her wings and beginning to hover off of the floor with a grin on her muzzle. "Heck yeah I did! We kicked his sorry butt right back to Tartarus!"

Twilight eyed the proud pegasus silently for a few seconds before asking a question that she didn't even bother to consider not asking. "You didn't kill him?"

Everypony gathered stared at Twilight with varying expressions. Pinkie Pie and Rarity looked legitimately offended that their long lost friend would even think about that. Rainbow Dash seemed regretful. Applejack stared hard at her, as if wondering how she reached that point of thought. And Fluttershy...

Oh, Fluttershy... she was slowly backing away from the lavender mare, her eyes already wet with previous tears and now creating more. "... How could you say that...?" she quietly, sorrowfully asked, her gaze boring into Twilight's eyes and making her feel incredibly guilty.

Spike made her feel the worst, however. He hadn't let go of his caretaker at all, but the baby dragon regarded her with a nervous, worried expression. Twilight recalled the letter she had sent just before their mission to kill Zinyak. "I..."

"No..." Rainbow Dash answered at last. "We got him to lose his magic with some kind of magic poison... potion... thing... And then the Princesses all put him back in Tartarus. Weren't you listening?"

Twilight awkwardly looked down at the bed for several seconds. "... Oh... Magic poison?"

"Yeah, the Zebras made a lot of it so we could put it on crossbows, spears, the Griffons' claws, everything. I think they said... uhhh... 'drench your bolts and let them loose, and the tyrant's magic will be no use' or something..."

A very long, awkward silence followed before Rainbow spoke up again with a preceding throat clearing. "Aaaanyways... we got our magic back and I got a parade." A pause. Rainbow Dash then gained a huge grin. "Oh yeah! I got my own parade! It was so awesome!" The others rolled their eyes, clearly sick of hearing about it. "And I got a medal, too~"

"... So, why are you a guardspony now?" Twilight quipped, tilting her head.

Rainbow Dash landed again, rubbing the back of her head with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Well uh... I got an offer from the Princesses and I thought, ya know... I wanna protect everypony I can. Losing mom and dad, starting the resistance, fighting Tirek... It changed things... So I said yes."

"W-Well, uh... congratulations," the violet mare offered, smiling gently at the guardspony.

"Hehe... thanks, egghead... Holy buck, when's the last time I said that?"

Another bout of silence, during which Pinkie Pie wandered back over and sat on her haunches, her eyes wandering restlessly.

"What about the rest of you?" Twilight asked, glancing to the rest of her friends. They all cringed at the question. Their eyes refused to meet Twilight's.

"Ah think," Applejack replied after several uncomfortable seconds. "... It's best if ya'll don't ask..." Her tone was low, quiet, somber... It made the spellcaster wonder at just what Tirek had done to them... or made them do.

"... So uh... You wanna tell me why you tried to bury me?" the war heroine queried, now much calmer and very eager to change the subject.

Twilight deeply sighed and nodded. "It's... It's a long story..."

"So tell it, sugarcube," AJ pressed, smiling a friendly smile in spite of the conversation they had been having just a moment ago.

"... It's not... Alright... I was studying one night at home... and next thing I know, I'm in this Simulation of Ponyville..." And so Twilight Sparkle began to finally share her story, urging herself to be completely and totally honest in every single thing she told them.

The Boss was enjoying herself quite a bit. Normally, she wouldn't have bothered with playing Miss Exposition, but just watching the two ponies on their thrones reacting to all the spectacular shit the Saints had done was absolutely fucking hilarious. Even some of the darker stuff got amusing results.

For example:

This time, both Princesses spat out their tea, coughing and sputtering in response to the Empress' words. "S-Seven billion?!"

Since then, the leader of the Third Street Saints had continued to tell their tale, savoring every single stunned look they gave her. She had been speaking for nearly a half hour as well, and the matriarchs' reactions to their various bullshit hadn't gotten old yet.

Still...

"Forgive my interruption," the one with the moon on her ass interjected, gaining the Boss' gaze and a raise of the brow. "But where does Twilight Sparkle come in?"

The Boss eyed Princess Luna impatiently. "She showed up after we finished the key," the leader replied, grabbing another apple and taking a bite. "I was probably gonna start attacking Zinyak's ship in... what... an hour? if Kinzie hadn't found Twilight first."

"... As much as I enjoy your company, I ask that you get to that part," the Night Princess requested.

The Empress sighed and nodded, telling the story of how they had rescued the violet unicorn and what had happened since. She told of the Ponyville Simulation, of how she understood such, of how she fought and killed a false Princess Celestia. She told of Twilight's contributions to their fight against the Zin. She told of Twilight's... transgressions... And the Boss spoke very highly of the mare's power.

She recounted with a smile how eager to play and good at Professor Genki's Mind Over Murder she was, how she had annihilated an entire army of Zin herself and then killed another false Celestia, how she laid waste to the Zin during their attack on Zinyak's ship...

Princess Celestia didn't want to believe what she was hearing. Though her sculpted expression kept it hidden, she was seething inside. The concept of Twilight Sparkle committing such atrocities was one that the Princess' mind didn't want to process.

And yet... It made sense. It would explain how dark Twilight's magic had felt earlier... The Princess of the Sun stopped listening briefly to focus on the bed ridden mare's magic... It felt darker still...

She wondered why. She wondered how... She wondered if she really could take the powerful unicorn back under her wing... The Princess turned her gaze back to the humans' leader, whom was now looking at her expectantly. It seemed that she had finished her story and was waiting for a reaction. Celestia breathed deeply through her nose and stood, offering a polite smile. "Thank you for sharing your tale. I am going to see my student," she stated, earning a shrug from the Empress as she kicked back in her chair.

Celestia began to leave the throne room, glancing at her sister and receiving an understanding nod in return. "... Twilight..."

The Boss watched as Princess Sunbutt left, shrugging again once she was gone as she glanced at Kinzie. "Kinshie," she called through a mouthful of apple. "Howsh ih goin'?"

"Almost done, Boss. Your little storytime bought us plenty of time," the hacker replied plainly, either oblivious to or not giving a fuck about the very suspicious glare that Luna was giving them both.

"Awesome," the armor clad Saint chuckled, shooting Luna a cocky smile behind her sunglasses. "Is there a problem, your Highness~?" the Boss then teased/taunted, taking another bite of her apple as she did so.

"What are you all playing at?" That query got all the gathered humans to look at the Night Princess, some curious, some letting their hands drift towards their pistols. The Boss snickered in response, shrugging at her.

"Just leavin' Twilight a little farewell present," came her casual answer, seeing anger filtering into the royal's expression. "Is that so wrong?"

Luna narrowed her eyes at the leader of the Saints, speaking through clenched teeth. "One wrong move and none of you will live to regret it, alien."

"Wooooow," the Boss emitted, crossing her arms and feigning offense as she turned to glance at the other Saints. "Ungrateful much?"

"Silence!" Luna bellowed, nostrils flared and horn glowing a deep blue.

There was, indeed, silence for all of four seconds before the armor clad female started laughing. "You're hilarious!"

"I. SAID! SILEN-" Luna started to scream before she found her mouth had mysteriously become a zipper. "MMMPH! MIPHMOOOORPH!"

"Must you be so rude to our guests, Luna?" The Saints all scanned the room for the source of this new voice while the Boss put a hand to her chin... just before some weird mutant snake/dog/bird/plane/whateverthefuck thing just showed up in front of her. "I do apologize for my colleague's disposition. I'm Discord, and it's delightful to finally meet you."

The Boss merely stared at the creature for several seconds before shaking her head and giving him a pitying look. "Oh, John, what did Zinyak do to you?"

Discord raised an eyebrow. "... Who?"

As it turned out, once Twilight started to tell her story, she had a difficult time stopping. She went on and on, pausing only occasionally to breathe or to answer the even more occasional question. It felt good to say everything that she was saying... even if she could tell that nopony liked hearing it.

The expressions of her friends had started out sorrowful and horrified, but as the story progressed, they became worried, grim, wary... even fearful, in Fluttershy's case.

By the time the unicorn had finished, the room was silent and tears streamed freely from her eyes. "... A-A-And now I'm here..." With those last words, she panted softly, sniveling and wiping her eyes with a hoof. Then she glanced between the five gathered mares, noting their gazes and then turning her own to the bed. "... I expected as much. I'll understand if..." The spellcaster grimaced at the thought. "... if you don't want to be my friends anymore. I'm a psychopath."

"Are you kidding?"

"Huh?"

Pinkie Pie stepped forward, smiling. "I'm just happy to see ya home, Twilight~ It's all over now anyways, right~?" she said, hugging Twilight.

"... P-Pinkie's right, darling. We couldn't turn our backs on you for your mistakes. I'm still your friend, and I always will be," Rarity added, also hugging the mare on the bed.

"Good t' have ya back, Sugarcube," AJ chimed in, adding herself to the growing group hug.

Spike said nothing, but embraced the pony who hatched him even tighter.

"We're here for you, Twilight," Fluttershy softly added, cautiously wrapping her legs around her violent friend.

"And don't you forget it, Egghead." With Rainbow Dash's entrance to the seven-way hug, Twilight Sparkle broke down again, smiling and crying as she began quietly, repeatedly thanking them between sobs. Before long, her friends had joined her in weeping.

And then she walked in.

"I am glad to see you awake, Twilight," a familiar voice intoned, eliciting a cringe from the spellcaster as everypony (and dragon) turned their gaze to the source.

Princess Celestia regarded her little ponies with a smile. She had, in truth, been slightly nervous about the state she might find Twilight and her friends in, but to see them embracing in such a way put her at ease. Slightly. "How are you feeling?"

The other ponies let go of her violet student, bowing to their leader as Twilight... just stared at her.

"P-Princess Celestia..." the unicorn uttered softly, her voice uncertain, anxious. It only stung at the solar diarch more... She must know, Celestia thought.

"... I would like to speak to Twilight now... privately," she continued, still trying to sound happy. "That includes you, Spike." Her guardspony saluted and sighed.

"You heard her girls. Let's go," her guard uttered, turning towards the bookworm. "Talk to ya later, egghead." With Rarity lifting Spike off of his hatcher, the other Element Bearers filtered slowly out of the room. Celestia magically closed and sealed the door behind them, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply through her nostrils.

Twilight radiated anxiety. She seemed determined to avoid eye contact, and she was shaking a bit, evidenced by the slight quivering of her tail. "What is it, Princess...?" she asked, her tone cautious and laden with dread.

The alabaster alicorn took a few seconds before answering, slowly approaching Twilight and taking a seat at her bedside. "I understand that you've probably just done so for your friends, but-" The Princess paused, reevaluating her choice of words. Twilight cut in.

"-Tell you everything?" the violet one offered. Celestia nodded, prompting a sigh out of the magically adept mare. The Princess guessed that Twilight was dreading such, and the constant darting of her eyes all but confirmed it.

"I am here to listen, Twilight," she began, her voice reassuring. "I have already heard your... leader's story. I'd like to hear yours." The pony's gaze fell to the floor for a moment before she spoke.

"... Can I have some tea, please?" the purple pony asked.

"Of course, Twilight."

Twilight Sparkle sat on the bed with her cup of tea for a long while, making a constant effort to look at the cup and only the cup. With the overpoweringly emotional telling of her tale already out of her system (which Twilight was quietly grateful for), she was able to focus and put a little more thought into what she was saying and how exactly she said it. The newest Saint felt as though she needed to.

Celestia was watching her very closely, still sipping at her tea and maintaining a slight smile. But with the brief glimpses she got at the alicorn during failures appreciate the fine piece of tableware she magically clutched, she could practically feel those magenta orbs boring into her very soul. It was rather disquieting. It was enough to make Twilight exceptionally averse to including certain events.

Twilight told her of how the Boss had rescued her, of her interactions with the other Saints, of their final assault on the Zin mothership, but made last minute decisions to alter certain events.

Twilight skipped over her participation in Professor Genki's Mind Over Murder.

She turned her near murder of the Boss into a mental breakdown that left her wailing for hours.

Her brutal, bloodthirsty release of rage against the virtual Celestia and her army was skewed in the Boss' favor, told as though Twilight had merely been keeping the human alive.

And her participation in Zinyak's demise was left out entirely.

By the time she finished, the Princess' expression had actually changed. And that really made Twilight nervous. "... A-And that's it!" she emitted, hoping against all hope that her mentor would buy her story.

Seconds ticked by like hours as the magical prodigy watched her idol... Celestia sat there and finished her tea calmly, gently placing her cup down on the tray that it had been brought in on. Then she looked back at the smaller equine, a soft smile on her muzzle. That smile did not last the way it should have... Princess Celestia shook her head once, her visage betraying disappointment, in spite of her smile.

Oh no.

"Twilight, why do you bother lying? You're terrible at it," the alicorn replied, her tone a cross between humored and irate. The pony immediately opened her mouth without thinking, but was silenced by a held-up hoof from the Princess before she could try to defend her lies or apologize. "I told you: I have already spoken with your leader."

Celestia stood up, turning away from the pony in the infirmary bed as she slowly, majestically walked to the window. "You were quite excited to replay that strange game." Twilight winced.

"Well-"

"'The Boss' was nearly strangled to death, and only survived thanks to the interference of another Saint."

"Wait, I-"

Princess Celestia's voice gained some volume as she reached the window. "You slaughtered an entire army of invading Zin, killed a virtual copy of me, and then admitted to enjoying the experience." The diarch didn't allow the interrogated mare time to fumble out a partial response, whirling around to face her with a surprising, terrifying fury in her eyes. "And you did, in your Boss' words 'fly around the room, shooting fire at everyone and laughing like a maniac.'"

Twilight now thoroughly regretted acting on that foolish impulse. She just wanted to curl up and vanish, already having backed away from her teacher until she reached the end of the bed. Despite it being the truth, Celestia's words cut deep, drawing even more tears out of the scarred pony. By the time she had finished quoting the Boss, Twilight was balled up on the edge of the bed, her eyes wide, bloodshot, and quivering as they focused on the angry alicorn. "I... I..." she pathetically, quietly whimpered, watching as Celestia withdrew her rage and made an effort to compose herself.

The spellcaster went as far as to hastily channel her magic into a barrier, fearing that the Princess of the Sun was about to smite her.

Celestia breathed deeply, her eyes shut as she quelled her fire. Twilight Sparkle was curled up like a freezing foal and staring at her as if she were a hungry ursa major. Upon opening her eyes and seeing the shield... the age old ruler felt regret flooding in to war with her anger and disgust.

The little lavender pony flinched when her eyes opened, and Celestia could feel that shield gaining considerable strength.

"I-I'm sorry, Princess Celestia!" came the mare's panicked plea, shutting her eyes as her voice became clouded by her tears. "'m so sooooorry! I'm a monster an' I deserve to be banished! Or executed! Or banished AND executed! B-B-B-Buh please! Have mercyyyyyy!"

Her bawling stopped Celestia from continuing, instead coaxing a few tears out of the alicorn princess. But instead of allowing herself to break down as well, she slowly approached the howling mare with her wings spread and her expression soft. Preparing a shield spell of her own in case of an attack, she touched her long white horn to the shield and broke it.

Twilight, of course, began to freak out, trying to scramble away from the object of her terror, but Celestia stopped her. Holding her back in her magic, the ruler perched herself on the bed and drew Twilight Sparkle close, embracing her tightly. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Twilight," she tried, allowing more tears to break through her façade. "I couldn't bring myself to punish you like that, even if I had to..."

The only evidence that Twilight was listening was the way she slowly ceased her struggling and began to calm down.

Twilight took a long time before she was able to calm herself enough to stop holding her face against her mentor's barrel, sniveling and wiping her eyes as she hesitantly gazed up at said mentor. The appearance of tears on the alicorn's face did put her slightly more at ease, but there was a question that kept her from really stopping.

"... Then... wh-what... are you going to do?" she emitted, earning the attention of her ruler. Princess Celestia breathed deeply once more and drew the mare closer, swallowing audibly several times to regain her composure.

"I can no longer teach you." Twilight's ears twitched. She had heard that correctly, as much as she hated to believe it. The Sun Princess released her from the embrace and slowly stood up from the bed before sitting down beside it with another sigh. "I'm sure that the other Bearers have told you about Tirek."

Twilight nodded slowly, knowing where this conversation was going, but continuing to listen.

"Without you, Equestria was taken over. Put in jeopardy. Every one of my little ponies was endangered and enslaved." Her voice gained a great amount of steel and passion, as did her expression. "... Rainbow Dash did save us all, yes... But can it happen again? Will she be able to save Equestria again if a new evil seeks to take it? ... I cannot be sure. But I refuse to allow the security of Equestria be compromised again..."

She looked Twilight in the eye and allowed her visage to relax slightly. "Your magic is tainted... The... atrocities that you have committed have changed you, Twilight. There is a darkness in your magic, in your very soul."

The bookish pony followed her tea-... former teacher's strand of logic to its conclusion. "Therefore... I'm a threat to Equestria."

"... Unfortunately, yes."

Twilight took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with a foreleg once more, facing her... former mentor. "... I... I understand..."

Celestia smiled slightly and nodded. "... You will not be punished for attacking Rainbow Dash. You may move back to Ponyville and resume life as normal... But I will no longer be your guide. I'm sorry."

The spellcaster nodded, beginning to stand. "I'm... I'm just glad to be home, Princess."

The Boss watched as the Ship's boarding ramp drew shut with a tinge of disappointment. A part of her wanted to stay and take the place over. A part of her wanted to try and take Twilight with them. A not-small part of her wanted to try and make a sort of summer home out of Equus or something.

The ramp closed with a loud metallic ruckus, prompting the power armored woman to turn around and stride back to the bridge. "CID, you get everything done alright?" she asked, holding her earpiece ear.

"Yes. It was all moved as you specified," came the unit's monotonous response.

"Good," she stated as she reached the bridge, the ship beginning to lift off. "Let's go fuck up some rebels~" the puckish rogue emitted with a smile, pulling the bolt on her AK to punctuate it as their fleet began to speed towards Epilizin II.

Several days had passed since the Third Street Saints had left the planet, and Twilight Sparkle was finally returning to the Golden Oaks Library, a soft smile on her muzzle as she walked inside one evening. Spike leaped off of her back and smiled as he walked further in, gesturing towards the still intact study space that its user had left behind. "Everything's just like you left it, Twilight!" the dragon exclaimed, making his caretaker smile a little more.

"... Y-You did that for me?" she said softly, approaching the table and looking over the stacks of books. The unicorn eyed the open tome, observing the text about enchantments and beginning to vaguely remember what she had been doing pre-abduction. "... Thank you, Spike..." She lit her horn and pulled the baby drake in for a hug, which he warmly returned in kind.

"Awww, don't mention it!" he said, wandering off to the kitchen. "I'm gonna go make us some dinner!" Twilight watched as he walked away, her smile growing slightly larger as she returned to her chair and began to review her notes.

A few moments later, she realized just how... bored she actually was. And that saddened her. It reminded her of how little... purpose there was to studying magic... She could still do it, but without Princess Celestia, what was the point? She closed the tome and got off of the chair, starting to walk towards the kitchen to join the baby dragon.

On the way there, though, something shiny caught her eye. She noticed the basement door was open, and light was coming from such. "... Huh...?" she muttered as she approached the door, poking her head through such. A sharp gasp left her mouth as she saw what laid at the bottom of those stairs.

Guns. Loads and loads of guns, looking all shiny and new. Ammo as far as the eye could see.

And propped up in the center of the room was the most... attractive sight of them all: her power armor.

Twilight Sparkle couldn't help the grin that began to curve her equine muzzle.

Starlight Glimmer was in pain. A world of pain. And the cacophony of screaming and flames didn't help. Her village was burning and her followers were dying all around her. She couldn't do anything about it; that... thing had broken all four of her legs.

A burning, crispy Double Diamond tripped over his leader's prone form, making the injured mare panic. "Get away from me, you moron!" she cried, lighting her horn and forcing the white earth pony away before he could set her on fire with those... strange purple flames.

Before she could ponder the nature of her predicament, the mare was lifted by magic. Not before the culprit very kindly knocked her ruined legs against the ground, though. "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!" Starlight shrieked, suppressing the need to vomit as she suddenly found herself face to face with the cause of such.

The pony in grey armor. It seemingly watched her for several seconds before it did anything. It laughed. "I gotta thank you, Starlight Glimmer~" it chimed in a feminine and disturbingly cheerful tone. "I haven't had this much fun in weeks."

"What... Ghaanhaah... What do you want from me...?" the battered cult leader managed, her voice weak and faint.

"Not a thing~" it replied, drawing an infuriated growl from Starlight Glimmer. It's horn began to glow. "You'll do juuuuust fine~"

The last thing Starlight Glimmer ever felt was her burning flesh and the impact of her head against the still-burning remains of her house.

Author's Note

I'll keep this brief 'cause you've heard it from everyone. I'm sorry for taking so goddammed long.

I sure as hell hope that this was a satisfying ending. I think it's safe to say that my interest in SR4 no longer exists, and that I finished this only through sheer force of will. :ajsleepy:

I'm also aware of how feels-y of a finale this was, and that it isn't the big, bombastic finisher that you might've wanted... well... :twilightsheepish:

If any of you want to write a spin-off of this story using this concept, perhaps replacing Twilight with another of the mane 6 or taking this story in a different direction, you go right ahead. Just let me know so I can read it when it's up. I'll plug it if it's good. :pinkiesmile:

And with this chapter's release, I can finally mark this story as Complete! YEAH! But hey, don't unfollow this story yet... Still got a couple of alternate endings to come at some point. Hopefully they'll get done before December, eh? Hahahaha... Ahhh... Hm.

Lemme know whatcha think!

The Bad Ending (Alternate Ending 2)

(Ending requirements: Do not complete Saint Twilight Sparkle's loyalty mission and beat the game.)

Twilight took a long time before she was able to calm herself enough to stop holding her face against her mentor's barrel, sniveling and wiping her eyes as she hesitantly gazed up at said mentor. The appearance of tears on the alicorn's face did put her slightly more at ease, but there was a question that kept her from really stopping.

"... Then... wh-what... are you going to do?" she emitted, earning the attention of her ruler. Princess Celestia breathed deeply once more and drew the mare closer, swallowing audibly several times to regain her composure.

"I can no longer teach you." Twilight's ears twitched. She had heard that correctly, as much as she hated to believe it. The Sun Princess released her from the embrace and slowly stood up from the bed before sitting down beside it with another sigh. "I'm sure that the other Bearers have told you about Tirek."

Twilight nodded slowly, knowing where this conversation was going, but continuing to listen.

"Without you, Equestria was taken over. Put in jeopardy. Every one of my little ponies was endangered and enslaved." Her voice gained a great amount of steel and passion, as did her expression. "... Rainbow Dash did save us all, yes... But can it happen again? Will she be able to save Equestria again if a new evil seeks to take it? ... I cannot be sure. But I refuse to allow the security of Equestria be compromised again..."

She looked Twilight in the eye and allowed her visage to relax slightly. "Your magic is tainted... The... atrocities that you have committed have changed you, Twilight. There is a darkness in your magic, in your very soul." The purple pony grit her teeth without showing them, unable to help the fiercely gripping dread that engulfed her thoughts. "I cannot teach you. If you ever... became a threat to Equestria and its citizens, I would have only myself to blame."

"... But..." Twilight uttered softly, her body unable to muster any more tears.

"No, Twilight," Celestia cut in, her voice full of steel. Then she paused, breathing deeply. "I know it hurts, Twilight. But I have failed my little ponies too many times. I have allowed their ways of life - or indeed, their very lives - to be put in danger enough... To the point where the ponies of Equestria no longer have faith in me."

Twilight was only half listening. A small part of her was angry, though not with the Princess. She understood what she meant. No, she was angry with Zinyak, and the Saints, to an extent. Being abducted, enduring all that pain, all that misery, all that strife... All of it had been for nothing. And that was what the rest of her was hopelessly clinging to.

She remembered Tirek... That bastard. The villainous centaur slid easily into her hatred's crosshairs, the mare clenching her teeth harder as she thought of him.

"... You will not be punished for attacking Rainbow Dash. You may move back to Ponyville and resume life as normal. But I can no longer be your guide. I'm sorry."

Twilight did not answer for a good long while, just staring at a few wrinkles on the infirmary bed's sheets, angry. There would be no "resuming life as normal." She had no life anymore. Tirek had destroyed it. Tirek and Zinyak. Her friends, in spite of what they had said, undoubtedly saw their long lost friend far differently than they had before. And why not? Her time in the Simulation, with the Saints, with the Boss had changed her so much...

She thought back to when Rainbow Dash had been explaining how Tirek was overthrown and defeated. That one question that she asked so impulsively: "You didn't kill him?" Murder was a part of her, ingrained in her very psyche. It was an option that her subconscious could easily take by impulse. She imagined being in her library, calmly reading before Rainbow Dash crashed in through a window and made a mess of things. She cringed as the thought immediately had her grabbing the flyer in her magic and crushing her spine in a fit of anger.

There was no "normal life" she could return to. Not really. Her mind was inundated with scenario after scenario of committing atrocity after atrocity, slaughtering ponies over small, insignificant things...

And one last mental image, one more powerful than any of its predecessors, hit her with all the force of a train crashing into a wall of stone. One of her Simulation, her Ponyville Tartarus. A picture in which Twilight Sparkle was fleeing and cowering from herself.

A gentle prod on the back of her neck scared the poor mare out of the dark pits in which her mind had been wallowing, making her jump and snap her gaze to its source. "Twilight?" the Princess asked, gazing- glaring down at her, as if the alicorn wanted to decapitate her... And her horn started to radiate with a bright, intense yellow glow! "Are you alright?" The tone of her voice carried genuine concern that did not match the glare.

"Uhhh... I- Errr..." she stammered, rapidly blinking as she looked all around the room in a panic.

"Twilight...?" Celestia's voice sounded again, sounding more worried and wary. The poor pony finally met the Sun Princess' eyes with her own and... she looked worried and wary. Her horn was normal, not a trace of its owner's golden magical aura. Twilight blinked several times, mouth slightly agape as she tried to process what was really happening.

"P-Princess," she uttered breathlessly, her body beginning to shake. "... I... I... I'm..." She lowered her gaze again, and shook her head out rapidly. "... I'm sorry, I... Just a sudden headache..." the unicorn lied.

The white mare's wing nudged the former apprentice closer, her expression unchanging. "You were quiet for a few minutes, Twilight," Celestia said in a low tone. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Twilight replied, doing her best to sound sincere. "I was just... wondering how everypony will react when I come back..." As she said this, she sniffled, magically retrieving a tissue from the box beside the bed and blowing her nose.

The Princess stared at her for a few brief seconds before she smiled and let out a soft giggle. "That's what you're worried about?" came her humored query, prompting Twilight to emit an embarrassed chuckle. She didn't have to lie about this, at least.

"Y-Yeah... I just... I don't know how I'm going to really settle back in," the bookish mare continued, thinking quickly to make it more believable. "Especially without writing friendship reports to you..."

Celestia seemed to think for a moment on that before responding. "Well, if you like, you can still write them. I've always enjoyed reading your reports, Twilight. In fact, I've..." Her tone dropped an octave, became a bit more somber. "-all but memorized all of them since your disappearance."

The violet pony raised an eyebrow. "You have? Really?"

"Dear Princess Celestia..." she began, clearing her throat. "I am happy to report that I now realize there are wonderful things in this world you just can't explain, but that doesn't necessarily make them any less true. It just means you have to choose to believe in them. And sometimes it takes a friend to show you the way." Twilight listened intently and immediately remembered writing that letter; after she had accepted Pinkie Pie's sixth sense. "Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

"You have... wow," Twilight softly commented, nodding slightly. "You missed me that much..."

"Of course, I did, Twilight." The Sun Raiser answered without hesitation, nuzzling Twilight gently. "Tirek or no, a dear friend had disappeared from my life. From many lives. Your friends, Spike and I tore Equestria apart looking for you when you disappeared."

Twilight managed a smile, returning the nuzzling briefly. "... It's good to hear you say that, Princess..."

Celestia let out a soft hum of contented acknowledgement, pausing a few seconds before saying anything more. "In any case, feel free to continue writing reports, Twilight... Even if you'd just like to talk." The Princess seemed rather insistent on that last bit. "If anything is ever wrong, you can always write to me. Student or not, I'd still like to be your friend."

Twilight's smile grew a little. "Thank you..."

That was advice Twilight never took. It had been nearly three weeks since the Saints had left the planet, and Twilight was settling into a slight semblance of a routine at the Golden Oaks Library... Open the library, close the library, go to sleep... Occasionally she would be visited by her friends, but the only one that she regularly interacted with was Spike.

Twilight was even more of a shut-in now than she had ever been. She barely spoke to anypony in the twenty days she had been home, and hadn't left the library in the last three.

This worried Spike.

He knew Twilight was different now, that much was obvious. She didn't read nearly as much. She was sloppy. She no longer obsessed over details and checklists. And she wouldn't let Spike into the basement, claiming that she was doing something secret at night that she didn't want him to touch.

But none of that got to the baby dragon as much as how sad his caretaker had become. How sad her experiences had made her. How much they weighed on her. How much they tormented her. It wasn't uncommon to overhear weeping from another room, only for it to stop and for Twilight to have put on her bravest face. He often caught her just staring off into space, her expression blank, lost in thought. And he had lost quite a bit of sleep to Twilight's nightmares.

It was as he broke the eggs for that morning's waffles that he really began to wonder about Princess Celestia. He thought about writing a letter of warning to the Princess. Something along the lines of "I'm worried about Twilight, please come help before something happens." The drake pondered what that "something" could be... He wasn't quite as naive as some ponies thought, to be sure, but he never felt like he knew what Twilight was thinking anymore. It could be anything...

"Twilight, wake uuuup!" he called, mixing the batter... Several minutes passed and he heard nothing. No hoofsteps or returned yelling. "Twiliiiight!!" He held his breath and froze, listening carefully... Several more minutes passed. No sound. "Darn it..." he uttered, turning off the waffle iron and hopping down from the kitchen stool to head up to Twilight's bedroom.

The door was open when I came down here, he noted as he reached it, pushing it open as he-

Twilight was gone.

"... Twiliiiiight...!?" the baby dragon called again, beginning to panic as he started searching the room. He began to try to remember if she was in bed when he woke up. He tried to think if he heard her leave. He tried to think of every possible thing that she might have done, every place she could have gone.

"Hoot!" Owlicious' loud hoot startled Spike as the avian approached him, a scroll clutched in its beak.

"What's that?" he asked, reaching up to catch it as Owlicious dropped it. It was wide parchment, rolled up neatly and closed with one of their usual seals. Spike looked at the scroll for a moment... He almost didn't want to read it. Nopony else but Twilight could have written this letter. And combined with the fact that she was gone, Spike felt dread beginning to claw at his heart. He took a deep breath and unrolled the message.

The hoofwriting was neat, to be sure. Twilight's usually was. But it was heavily stained with tears, some of the ink smudged by such. Gingerly, he began to read.

"To Everypony,

Spike will probably be the first to find this letter, declaring that I have disappeared. That's fine. I write this because everypony deserves to know why I'm leaving. And why I'll never come back home.

I'm a monster. My time in the Simulation and with the Saints has turned me into an abomination that doesn't deserve to live in Ponyville. Or even exist on Equus. I regret not leaving with the Saints. At least there, I could be myself. My real self. I could be a killer among killers, and I could at least feel useful.

I'm too dangerous to live anywhere. Every time I see somepony, I imagine myself killing them. I hate it. I hate all the pain, I hate all the worrying, I hate all the fucking hallucinations and nightmares so fucking much! I just can't take it anymore.

I'm going to die. And I want to die.

Nopony can stop me. Don't try. You'll only get yourself hurt or killed as well.

If nothing else, I want to do everypony some good before I die. I've gone to Tartarus to do what Rainbow Dash should have done: kill Tirek. And once he's dead, I'm going to let the creatures of Tartarus take me. It's what I deserve. It's where I deserve to die.

The Saints left me a large amount of their weaponry (they call them "guns") as a parting gift. I want them to be taken and used to defend Equestria. It's the least I can do.

To all of my friends, this is goodbye. I wish I could have brought myself to see you face to face, but I don't want to kill anypony. Least of all any of you. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, I'm really, really, truly sorry.

To Princess Celestia, I'm sorry. I wanted to write to you, but I know what would happen. If I told you of what I see, of what I'm constantly thinking, I would never be able to do this. I fear that you would have me killed, imprisoned, or banished. I couldn't trust you.

And to Spike. I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'm sorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry. I'm going to miss you. Behave yourself, okay? I love you.

Goodbye, everypony. This is for the best.

-Twilight Sparkle

Saint"

Author's Note

Well, there ya go. The second alternate ending.

Yes, Twilight has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, if you really don't know). I've been having her show signs of it all throughout the story, but in this ending, I made it worse.

PTSD is not a joke. It never was, it never is, it never should be. That's why this ending is joke free. I would be a terrible person if it wasn't. I say this because most of you have probably already figured this out, and I want to get it out of the way.

*sigh* Serious talk aside, I know I'm gonna do one more ending, but putting the final canon chapter up gave me motivation to consider doing two more... I dunno... I have to consider how such would be set up...

Feedback is always appreciated.