The '70s

by Scrapplejack

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2920

Pinkamena Diane Pie is a young mare who just moved to Los Angeles, but can she survive the streets of LA in 1978?

Pinkamena Diane Pie is a young mare who just moved to Los Angeles, but can she survive the streets of LA in 1973?

Rated M for drug use, sexual content, and strong language.
Cover art by ponyKillerX. On the anatomy chart: 2.

Thank you. :moustache:

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-11 18:05:01 UTC

Through the motions.

Pinkie woke up as she realised that the bus came to a stop. She had taken a power nap in her seat because she stayed up all night packing her stuff. Her assumption was correct however, she was finally here. She got up and got her stuff ready to get off of the bus, and she couldn't help but notice that the sun was just rising. Her yellow sports bag was slung over her shoulder and at the same time held in her hoof.

The bus stop was a Circle K at a stop light. Surprisingly, there was only one car waiting to pick up someone. In the driver seat of the big red van was a cyan pegasus wearing a black beany atop a rainbow colored mane. She was smoking a cigarette and casually playing an acoustic guitar. She thought that since she wasn't going anywhere in particular, it couldn't hurt to ask for a ride.

"Excuse me." Pinkie turned around to find a cross-eyed pegasus with a grey coat and pale blonde mane was tapping on her shoulder with her hoof. She was wearing a hockey mask which, strangely enough, made Pinkie feel threatened just being in its presence. She became even more uneasy when she noticed that she had a wooden baseball bat that had a few fresh looking blood stains on it, hanging off of an old looking mail bag that had a strange smell surrounding it.

"Can you please move?" She was surprisingly polite considering the looks and the fact that she was wearing a white T-shirt that read FUK U 2! in sloppy red lettering.

"Oh yeah, sure." Replied Pinkie, making way for her and getting off the bus at the same time.

"Can I have a ride?" Pinkie quickly asked her, realising that she was the only other pony to get off of the bus and was now aw approaching the red van.

"Uhm... I don't know. You'll have to talk to Rainbow for that."

"Is that the one in the van?"

"Yup. Come on."

Pinkie walked with her to the van, and Rainbow looked up from her guitar to see them coming.

"Hey, Derpy. How'd it go?" Rainbow asked, putting down her guitar and getting in driving position.

"Fuck, Rainbow! I thought I told you to never say my name in public! Anyways, this one wants a ride, is that alright?" Said Derpy, gesturing to the outrageously pink stranger to her left.

"Uh, sure. Where to?"

"Anywhere but here." Replied Pinkie, crawling in one of the back seats.

"Alrighty, my place it is." Said Rainbow, flipping the key into ignition and waiting for Derpy to get into the passenger seat, who took her mask off once the door was closed.

They drove around for a few minutes in silence until Pinkie decided to introduce herself to the other two.

"My names Pinkamena, but you can call me Pinkie Pie."

"I'm Rainbow Dash, this is Derpy."

"Hi." Said Derpy somewhat hesitantly.

"So Pinkie, where you from?"

"Oregon."

"Nice, me and Derpy are from New York. We've lived here for... I don't know. Derpy, how long 'we been here?"

"Two years."

"Oh right." There was a long pause for a while after those two words.

"Hey look! There's Applejack's house. Wanna go say hi Pinkie?"

"Sure, why not." Pinkie said this in the mindset that it would be better to make friends early on, in which case she was doing pretty good, considering she got two right off the bat.

Rainbow Dash knocked on the door with Derpy and Pinkie at her side.

An orange earth pony with a blonde mane and a brown puppy in her arms answered the door.

"Howdy, sugarcube." She said, before giving Rainbow a peck on the lips.

"Hey Derpy. And who are you?" She said, looking at Pinkie.

"I'm Pinkie Pie."

"We picked her up at the bus stop." Explained Derpy.

"Cool. Hey Pinkie, I'm Applejack. This is Winona." Said Applejack, gesturing to the adorable puppy in her arms, who gave her chin an affectionate lick.

"Come on in."

The four hung out there for about an hour. Derpy and Pinkie played with Winona for a little while and Rainbow and Applejack sat on the couch and talked. Pinkie was getting along better than she thought she would, after all, she had no idea she would make friends so quickly.

Yup... things are looking bright alright.

Someplace to stay.

The door opened, revealing Rainbow Dash's seemingly below humble abode. There was a black and white zebra pattern couch next to a blue bean bag, both facing a television that sat atop a salvaged wooden storage crate. The kitchen was visible straight from the living room, and it was a pig sty that made Pinkie cringe. Down the hall was a bathroom and two bedrooms, both of which were tiny but livable. On the living room sealing, there was a rather large poster with a black background. It had a drawing of a burning white house next to the anarchist symbol and read PROPAGANDA OF THE DEED in yellow cursive lettering.

"Sorry if the place is a bit shitty right now, but it's someplace to stay, right?"

"No, it's alright. I mean, it's better than the dumpster I used to call home, literally." Pinkie replied, placing her sports bag on the floor. As she said it, Pinkie remembered that she had been in this city for two days now, and her first two nights in Los Angeles had been slept through on the comfiest looking trash bin in the dark alley right outside Rainbow's window. As a matter of fact, all Dash had to do to discover where Pinkie Pie had been hanging her hat for the past two days was poke her head out of the window in the wee hours of the morning and simply look down, being that that was how she found out about her friend's make-shift bed in the first place.

"Yeah, if you ever get bored there's a Magnavox Odyssey with Dogfight and Shooting Gallery already hooked up to the TV in the living room, and if you're hungry then there's always, like, a metric shit ton of microwave meals just sitting in the fridge or whatever."

The two spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking all of Pinkie's stuff, prepping the room she was going to stay in, and using a bike pump to fill the mattress she was going to sleep on. It was a bit cozier than she thought it would be at first, and she couldn't help but feel more thankful towards her cyan friend than ever. After all, if it weren't for her, she would probably be crashing on that dumpster still.

Pinkie felt like hugging her new roommate, and tried to resist as much as possible. She couldn't take it anymore. She lunged at her friend from behind with nearly all of her strength, knocking Rainbow to the ground, and giving her the warmest, fuzziest squeeze she could muster.

"Thank you so much Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah, no problem. But, Pinkie your crushing me." Dash said, nearly suffocating under the sheer force of her pink adversary's hug.

Pinkie's limbs slowly receded from the cyan body.

"Right... I've got to get some sleep anyways."

Rainbow Dash did nothing but stare in response, still recovering from the immensely random show of affection. Se slowly got up and did nothing but give a judging look.

"That..." Pinkie braced for impact.

"Was..." She closed her eyes and started to physically cringe.

"THE BEST HUG EVER!!!"

Pinkie let out a relieved sigh and gave her roommate another hug, but was more gentle this time.

"Hey Pinkie." Said Rainbow, hugging her back.

"What?" She replied, her arms still wrapped around Rainbow Dash.

"The only other pony I know who has given me a hug as fuckin' radical as the one you just gave me is Applejack, but that's a different kind. I respect you, my friend!" She said, ceasing the hug and giving her friend a hoof-bump instead.

The two spent the rest of the night playing Dogfight on the Magnavox and Rainbow ended up rage quitting because Pinkie Pie was better at it than she thought she would be. Pinkie started yawning a lot, and Dash didn't show it, but she was tired too.

"Good night." They told each other before hopping in bed, closing their eyes, and drifting to sleep.

How to get high.

It was 4:00 in the morning, and Pinkie Pie was sitting on the black and white zebra pattern couch in the living room ,watching television, when the door opened quickly. Before she could react, a certain cyan pegasus came bolting in, slamming the door shut with her back against it's surface, and slowly sunk to the floor, hitting the back of her head against it.

Pinkie Pie frowned. "What happened?"

"That cunt stole my damn van!" She replied angrily.

"Who stole your van?" Pinkie asked, confused with the situation set before her.

"Applejack! The mother fucker just ran off with it." She replied, getting up and staring at the floor stressfully.

Pinkie paused to take in the information that just hit her in the brain like a two-by-four with the force of a nuclear rocket.

Okay, so apparently Applejack stole Rainbow Dash's van for some reason. I wonder why.

Rainbow Dash suddenly looked up and at Pinkie. She flinched, not knowing what Rainbow was going to do with her. The feeling only got worse when Dash adopted the smuggest face Pinkie had ever seen.

"You know what, fuck this shit." Dash said, throwing up her arms and walking into the kitchen and pulling a pill bottle down from where it was apparently hidden on the top of the fridge.

She walked back towards Pinkie.

"This is the shit right here." She said, opening the bottle and holding it out in front of Pinkie, who took a pill from inside and held it in her hooves, staring at the elongated pink capsule for a moment.

"What's it for?"

"You swallow it, dumb ass." She replied, popping a pill herself, settling in her giant blue bean bag, picking up the same guitar Pinkie saw her with at the bus stop, and started playing.

Pinkie swallowed the pill as instructed, and as she did she noticed that the pill bottle was labeled with a sticky note that had LSD scribbled on it in marker. Seemingly out of nowhere, everything became whoosy, and her entire world started to change around her right before her eyes. The room started to dissolve into some sort of spectral realm. Pinkie looked at her hoof and started to wave it around, marveling at the distorted wave effect it was giving. Pretty soon she couldn't feel it at all, and began touching her face to make sure it hadn't disentigrated. It tickled, and she began to giggle.

"He, he-he, he-he-he-he." She stared at Rainbow Dash, who to her now looked tiny and slightly distorted.

"Rainbow, you were right, this is the shit right here." Rainbow simply nodded in response, not even bothering to look up from the guitar.

Man, and this shit is good! Pinkie thought before passing out.

Applejack knocked on the door to Rainbow's apartment.

"Uhm... hey sugarcube, yuh there? I just wanna say sorry for earlier and everythin'."

Silence. She was replied by a light snoring sound from inside.

"Hey, yuh there?" Applejack let herself in. She discovered both were asleep. Pinkie had, surprisingly, fell asleep on the couch with her eyes and mouth open, drooling on the couch with a dumb looking smile on her face. Rainbow fell asleep on the same blue bean bag, the guitar loosely sitting on her lap. Applejack spotted the pill bottle spilt onto the floor.

"Oh Rainbow..."

Rainbow Dash woke up groggily. She couldn't explain the unusual plane of whiteness in front of her. She swatted in front of her, but to no avail.

"Nnnhh... fuck off." She growled at it, as if shewing away a fly.

As she woke up a bit more, she noticed it was a note, taped to her face. She peeled it off, and recognized Applejack's hand writing:

Dear sugarcube,

sorry for being a bitch last night.

Rainbow Dash couldn't believe it. Applejack actually thought it was her own fault. Rainbow got off of the bean bag, and started towards Applejack's house.

Applejack opened her door to find a rather scruffy looking Rainbow Dash at her doorstep.

Rainbow held up the note in one hoof, and pointed to it with the other. "You weren't the bitch. I was." Said Rainbow, nearly out of breath.

"What are you talking about? Ah was the bitch."

"No, I was!"

"Ah was the bitch, OKAY!"

They just stared at each other for a second.

"AH WAS THE BI-" Applejack was cut off by their lips coming into contact. Before she could react, they were already in full make out. Rainbow stopped for a moment.

"I was still the bitch." Said Dash.

"Ah bet you were." Applejack replied in a rather promiscuous tone.

Rainbow paused for a moment, then smirked. "We should totally fuck."

"Eeyup." She replied, pulling Rainbow inside and shutting the door.

Mary wanna muffin?

"You got the stuff?"

"Bitch please! Why else would I be here?" Derpy replied.

"I told you not to make fun of my name!"

"Shut the fuck up. Mary wanna muffin?" The hockey mask Derpy was wearing somewhat gleamed in the moonlight. The moon was very visible from the roof top they were on.  She pulled a plastic container from the mail bag she had been wearing across her torso, which also had a baseball bat hanging loosely from it. The container was full of muffins, and she opened it up and held it out in front of the violet unicorn.

He sniffed them. "Mmmh... fuck yes!" He tried to grab them.

Derpy pulled the container away and held her baseball bat, ready to strike him. "A-a-ah! Five muffins, twenty-five dollars."

"Come on, Miss Bubbles! You know it's not worth that much."

"Each one is about twenty-five percent weed, so fuck yeah it's worth it!" She retorted lowering the bat but not letting down her guard.

"But Bubbles, I don't got that kinda mone-" And with those words, Derpy raised the bat again and planted a rather harsh, firm wack on the left side of Mary's face, hard enough to knock him to the ground.

"Its Miss Bubbles! And if you don't got that kinda money, well that's tough titties!"

"OW! Well fuck, how else do I pay?!" Asked Mary, stroking the now red but soon-to-be black and blue mark on his left cheek in pain.

Derpy looked down at the sad looking colt laying on the ground before her with a smug yet serious face through the hockey mask. "Well... there is an alternative."

"No way, your fuckin' with me, aren't you?"

"Do I sound like I'm fucking around, Mary?"

Mary paused for a moment. "Fine..." He finally replied, helping himself of the filthy concrete.

Derpy sat down, and got ready for a ride. Marry got naked and started giving her a half-lazy, half-desperate lap dance. When he finished, he put his clothes back on and looked at Derpy expectantly.

"Not bad, and a deal's a deal." Derpy handed the muffins over to Mary.

"I knew you would make me do somethin' wierd like that."

"No shit Sherlock, now fuck off."

Late.

"Oh my gosh! Oh Rainbow! Fuck me harder!" Begged Applejack. Rainbow Dash accepted the request, seeming to plunge deeper and deeper with every thrust, wondering if the strap-on dildo she was wearing could ever break. Applejack was now clinging to the sides of the bed frame, half out of not wanting to fall off the bed, half out of the massive waves of pleasure she was recieving. She looked to her side, to the wall next to the bed, and noticed that it was now 11:00, and that meant something...

OH SHIT! I'm late for work!

"Ah, fuck me!"

Rainbow Dash stopped momentarily and stared at Applejack quizzically. "Fuck you harder?! I just fucked you twice as hard as I normally do! And you want me to fuck you even harder?"

Maybe my fucking isn't good enough for her...

And with that thought, Rainbow adopted a stubbornly determined expression on her face, and started doing it so hard that the bed frame began to make a rickety sound, even though it was brand new. Eventually, Rainbow started doing it faster and harder than she ever thought she could. "Don't worry Applejack, I'll rock your world if it's the last fuckin' thing I do!"

"L-LOOK AT HE C-CLOCK!!!" She had to scream it because of the immense orgasm she was experiencing. Rainbow Dash paused for a second and looked at the clock.

"OH SHIT!" She quickly got up and accidentally stumbled off the bed. She rushed for her jeans and put them on.

"Fuck! I'm late for the party!"

"I'm late for work, dumbass." Applejack retorted, rolling off the bed and barely able to move.

Rainbow didn't seem to here her, but she looked back with concern. "Are you okay?" Rainbow asked innocently.

"Oh yeah, Ah'm fine. Ah'm late for work... and it feels like Ah just got a nuke shoved up mah anus, but other than that, yeah, Ah'm totally fine." She replied with potent sarcasm.