Star Dazed

by The Wordsmith

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Adventure
Length: 2081

The bad news is, Equestria...well, has been burned to a crisp. Not just Equestria I mean...the whole planet's gone. Bad luck there eh? The good news is, you get to cruise around The Cosmos with the coolest Aliens around! How awesome is that?

Equestria is gone.
No…not just Equestria. The planet it was sitting on is gone too. Blasted into burnt shrapnel I'm afraid. The Moon's gone as well, and I think the Sun is on the chopping block too. Sorry to say, but Equanity is pretty much extinct now.

There's just you now.

Lucky little you.

So that's the bad news. But the bad news ends there, and I'm happy to say that there is a little silver lining in this seemingly infinite black cloud of rotten luck! You get to zip around The Galaxy with some of the hippest Aliens around! You'll get to meet interesting people, see new worlds, all that cool stuff!

See? I told you there was a silver lining.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-09 22:41:30 UTC

In which our Heroine's are introduced, and The Apocalypse interrupts everything.

The Galaxy is a big place. I mean, It's mind bogglingly big! There's nothing bigger than The Galaxy...except for The Universe it's sitting in. That's pretty big too, but that's not important right now. When you think about it, anything interesting (Or anything worthy of note) Happening in the little slice of the heavens our story begins in is astronomical. The idea of anything really important happening is doubly so. On that note, our story begins in a quaint little section of The Galaxy (Section Zed-Zed Nine to be exact.), a place where there is but one inhabited planet in a string of non-inhabited planets. Said planet is like a precious blue-ish green-ish gem that stands out brilliantly against the inky blackness of space. A real beauty to behold. Thing is, no one really paid much attention to the isolated world. In fact, if one were to try to find information on this world a short time ago, all they would find was a tiny little footnote at the bottom of page 111124 of The Galactic Encyclopedia that reads as follows:

"Made of dirt and rock. Very dull, not much to do there. The primitives on this world have barely figured out how to whack rocks together. They're not much for pleasant conversation. "

The Encyclopedia then gives you the best rout you can take to avoid the planet if you happen to be passing through the area it's in on the way to somewhere actually interesting, like the party planet of Obeseo in the Outer Rim.  The only reason this world has become so popular in these modern times is because it is the epicenter of major political debate and scandal. Or at least it was for a short time before people were distracted by the newest line of digital watches. It was popular and attention grabbing...

Because it's not there anymore.

Enter Equestira, the day it ceased to exist...

It was a Monday.

Glory Blaze hated Mondays almost as much as she hated funny hats, and nearly as much as she hated the ponies that were wearing said funny hats. She simply couldn't wrap her mind around the logic of wearing a hat that screamed 'Here I am, throw things at me, I'm an idiot!'. As it was, she lived in Canterlot. A place where funny hats were as commonplace as funny suits and dresses. She hated those as well, along with the ponies who wore them. Once can conclude that she didn't have a very high opinion of her neighbors (Or her species for that matter). Still, she had taken an oath to protect these intolerable, badly dressed ponies when she signed up for The Equestrian Guard, And by Celestia, that's what she was going to do! Even if it meant she was to meet an untimely demise. Then again, the odds of that happening in a place as peaceful as Canterlot where slim to none against. Of course, fate; being the bastard she is, decided that today was the day to muck things up for everypony.

The cobblestone road that lead from Glory's home to Canterlot Square was jam packed with poorly dressed ponies for reasons that Glory didn't understand or care to understand. As far as she was concerned, these ponies were all guilty of obstructing justice! If she had enough hoofcuffs she would've arrested everypony around her for this crime, though as far as she knew, there was no need for her to be in such a rush and these ponies weren't really obstructing anything except her path to her favorite coffee shop. She resigned to her fate of going with the herd, at least until she reached her destination. 'From the coffee shop to The Barracks, then from there to the patrol rout I've been assigned...' She reviewed in her mind as the throng of ponies slowly scooted along. 'From there, back to The Barracks, then home.' It was then that she realized that she was, in fact, leading a very dull and tedious life. She very nearly wished for something to break up the monotony, but decided against it. She knew better than to wish for such things, nothing good ever came of wishing for things like a break in routine.

It was at that same time that a single mother of three wished that something, anything, would interrupt her hellish life and give her a moment of reprieve from her otherwise horrid style of life. If she was aware of the consequences her ill thought out wish would eventually bring, she would've been more than happy to spend the rest of her days alone and stressed beyond belief.

Glory, blissfully unaware of the maelstrom to come, was busy practicing her soldierly scowl on a few unfortunate bystanders when a hoof reached out and prodded her shoulder. "Hey! Glory!" A lanky young mare with a wild black mane that was barely held in place by a battered bandanna that sported every color of the rainbow and reached down to her knee's grinned and sidled up beside her friend. "Hey, this might be a bad time, but we need to talk. Like right now." Glory blinked and looked off to where her prized coffee waited for her. "Can we talk in The Cafe Hippie? I need at least two cups of coffee before I'm awake. Maybe three. Today feels like it's gonna be one of those days." Hippie, as she was incorrectly named, shook her head as fast as she could manage. "No no, we gotta talk now! This is really important, like, life changelingly important!" Glory grunted and pushed through the crowd, too tired and irritated to care who's hooves she was stepping on as she cut through the wall of ponies like a Battleship would through the ocean. "Coffee first. Then talk."

Words could not describe Hippies exasperation.

Glory hummed in delight as her coffee warmed her belly and shrugged off the last traces of grogginess from her mind. It should be noted that she had gone through four cups of the steaming black liquid instead of the two she had estimated shortly before her arrival to The Cafe. She was right in her prediction of today being 'One of those days.' Hippie sat across from her and was literally biting her hooves in anticipation. Glory stared numbly at her for a long minute as the gears in her mind finally decided to shift into place and start running properly. "So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Hippie nodded and set her hooves on the table. She leaned in and whispered in a secretive tone. "I'm gonna ask you a question. I want'cha to answer me as honestly as you can here, kay?" Without waiting for a response, she carried on. "How would you react if I told you that a fleet of Alien ships was on it's way to destroy the world as we speak, and that nearly everypony has less than ten minutes to live?" Glory blinked again and tried to think of an appropriate answer. Her face went from looking confused, to amused, back again, then settled on a dull 'I haven't an idea in the slightest' expression. "I dunno. I'd be pretty bummed I guess. I've got things I need to do today, and Doomsday would really put a damper on my plans. Hard to patrol and keep the peace when the worlds gone. But we're talking hyperthetically right?"

Hippie looked out the large windows the Cafe's far wall sported for a moment, then shook her head again. "The words 'Hypothetically' Glory, and no. I'm not asking that way. I'm kinda stating a fact here. As we speak, there's a small fleet of really big ships on the way here, and their gonna bulldoze this planet. Thing is, I'm gonna split and take you with me. So as long as we get a move on, we should be A-Okay...why are you staring at me like that?" Glory shrugged and drained her cup, then set it aside. "Have you been eating those funny mushrooms again Hippie?"

Unfortunately for Equanity, Hippie was right. As she and her companion chatted away in The Cafe, a fleet of ugly, dart shaped starships were ponderously making their way through Equis's ionosphere. Despite the massive size of these immense vessels, nopony so much as blinked an eye at them. They sailed straight over The Griffon Empire unnoticed, they passed over The Zebra Nations without drawing a lick of attention. They even passed over Equestria and escaped notice until one of the ships, the largest of them all, parked right over Canterlot and sent the capital into an early night with it's shadow.

A shriek of terror, followed by another shriek of terror, followed by an orchestra of fear forced Glory to stop grilling her friend about the improper uses of mushrooms long enough to sit up and make her way out the front doors. "What's the problem here?" She demanded, not that anypony was sane enough to answer her at that point. Glory scanned the crowd and failed to spot the source of the panic. It wasn't until Hippie came up beside her and tilted her head up with her hoof did Glory notice the problem. "W-what the hell is that!?" She demanded. "And why is it dark out? Where's the sun?!" It's fair to note that while Glory passed her physical exams flawlessly and managed to set quite a few military records, she failed to make herself stand out in the mental aspect of Guard Training programs. Hippie sighed and shoved her much larger friend outside and into the street. "That my friend is the end of the world. C'mon, we gotta get outta here." Glory dug her hooves into the ground and turned to face her now very annoyed friend. "Wait, I can't just leave everypony here to die! I'm a Guard, It's my duty to stand my ground and die with everypony else!" Hippie rolled her eyes, then pointed off into the distance. "Look, it's a flock of turtles!" Glory whirled around and looked for the offending reptiles when Hippie produced a comically large needle and sank it's point into Glory's neck. The big earth pony hit the ground with a thud and was out within seconds. Hippie, now quite alone in the streets, grabbed her snoozing friend by the tail and dragged her off. "Time to split. Finally." She grumbled to nopony in particular.

It was around that time when the aliens decided to make their intentions known. Normally, they would've hijacked every radio network on the planet and had at it, but the radio was still a brand new and barely researched concept to ponies. So, faced with a lack of options and a bout of laziness that prevented them from sending a few representatives down to speak to the locals, the aliens simply charged up their weapons and took aim. It was a simple matter for the creatures really, all they had to do was blast away at the planet until nothing moved. And then keep blasting. Preferably until the atmosphere itself was burned away by the heat of their weapons. It wasn't anything personal of course, it was just business as usual. It just so happened that this world was ripe in rare and valuable metals, so it's eventual destruction and harvest was unavoidable at best. The Princesses of Equestria tried everything they could think of to communicate with the invaders, but managed to do nothing more than annoy the few creatures that bothered to pay attention to their persistent flitting about and shooting big flashy balls of magic at their ships. The orders to fire at will were passed down from the Capital Ship to those under it's command.

For one horrible moment, there was sound and flashes of impossibly bright light.

In the next, there was nothing more than deathly stillness, the crackling of a planetwide fire, and the rumble of the aliens impulse engines as they moved on from another job well done. Unbeknownst to the still inconveniently unnamed aliens, A single vessel (Not one of theirs) was hurtling away from the ruins of Equestria at breakneck speed. Aboard that vessel was a terribly sad Hippie, and a snoozing Glory. "Well..." Hippie said as she cast a forlorn gaze at what had been her home for a good while. "This sucks."