Who Wants to Live Forever?

by Matthew DePointe

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1379

It all started out as a prank, one brilliantly perceived by the CMC, while one night they were discussing immortality. Well, maybe the “brilliantly” part is a bit of an overstatement.

It all started out as a prank, one brilliantly perceived by the CMC, while one night they were discussing immortality. Well, maybe the “brilliantly” part is a bit of an overstatement. This discussion has led to many disagreements and the fact of the mater is that only four princesses in the entire world were equipped enough to live forever, one of which was their good friend, Twilight. This is where the idea happened, on a rainy, soggy Sunday afternoon, while the chats about boys and Picture Perfect have finally subsided and took a U-turn into the more important issues of life.

Published 2014-12-10 02:20:19 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-10 02:20:19 UTC

For It and It Itself

It all started out as a prank, one brilliantly perceived by the CMC, while one night they were discussing immortality. Well, maybe the “brilliantly” part is a bit of an over statement. This discussion has led to many disagreements and the fact of the mater is that only four princesses in the entire world were equipped enough to live forever, one of which was their good friend, Twilight. This is where the idea happened, on a rainy, soggy Sunday afternoon, while the chats about boys and Picture Perfect have finally subsided and took a U-turn into the more important issues of life.

“So…this is actually kind of awkward”, said Scootaloo.

“Yeah, I know that the narrator wants us to discuss college or something stupid like that. Why do we need to worry about college? I wanna talk about boys!”, complained poor, dumb, ignorant Applebloom.

Well, too bad. This is MY story, and you fillies will talk about whatever I want you to talk about. This is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship. Now go ahead with your lines!

“Fine. You don’t need to be rude about it!”, seethed Sweetie Bell. “Anyway, I sure wish I could visit Twilight for Twilight Time, but she was too busy with her more important affairs.”

“Like what? Deciding whether to have white or chocolate sprinkles on her cupcakes?”, said Scootaloo, who was at that moment shoving a chocolate cupcake from Sugar Cube Corner. It had, just so you know, white sprinkles.

Sweetie Bell said, “No, ding-dong! Stuff like, reviewing old property laws and making decorating choices on her new bedroom. If I was a princess, I’d want pink carpets and pink wallpaper, with pink butlers and pink cupcakes everyday…”

Okay, that’s enough about cupcakes. And pink. Get to the important stuff.

“Well, I wish she spent more time with us. I mean, it’s not like she’s going anywhere anytime soon, especially since she will live, like, forever! Everypony else dies in this hick town at the age of 70!”, said Scootaloo.

“I know, I think it is unfair that Twilight will get to live forever, while everyone who isn’t as important dies. I think it’s rebellion time!”, said Sweetie.

“That’s crazy! First of all, if we’re lucky, we could overthrow only Twilight. But I’m not going up against four princesses, who can kill you with just one glance. Second, I don’t have a problem with Celestia and Luna ruling us. We haven’t had much problems after the Sombra incident. So, I think rebellion is a bit over-dramatic.”, said Applebloom.

I tend to agree. Not that I don’t have the balls to overthrow anyone, but I think that going up against four powerful enemies at the same time will probably knock my socks off.

“What are socks?”, asked the CMC.

It’s not important. Go ahead with the story.

“So, barring over any other distractions, I guess rebellion is out. But we should still make ponies see that it just isn’t fair that we shouldn’t be allowed to live forever. If princesses can do it, why not us?”, said Sweetie Bell.

“Yeah, I could do dangerous stunts any time I want, and I wouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt!”, said Scootaloo.

“We’ll have more time to play together. Maybe we would finally get to stay up until eight o’clock!”, remarked Applebloom.

“So, what are we waiting for? Let’s visit Zecora to find out how to live forever!”, screamed Sweetie.

After a long and dangerous quest into the Everfree Forest that you would love to read about, the Cutie Mark Crusaders stopped at Zecora’s hut, only to be disappointed by a sign outside her door reading, “Be back after the First of Last Moon”. They sighed and headed off home again, fighting numerous monsters disguised as tree branches. Bloody and battle-scarred, they finally read the clearing outside of Fluttershy’s house.

“Maybe we should ask Fluttershy if she knows how to live forever”, said Scootaloo.

“I don’t think so. If we start questioning everypony, they will grow suspicious and try to find out how to live forever before we could!”, exclaimed Sweetie.

“Okay. Tomorrow, we will come up with a different idea on how to live forever”, said Applebloom.

They met at the Clubhouse early the next morning before school. All of them had a rough night, with each thinking of new ways in order to convince the ponies to overthrow their government.

“Wait, I thought we were just thinking about how to live forever, not overthrowing the government!”, said Scootaloo.

“Can we fire the narrator?”, asked Applebloom.

No, you can’t. Fine, they were thinking on how to live forever. One proposed idea was to ask Twilight for advice.

“What? That would be the dumbest thing ever. Twilight wouldn’t tell us, even if she knew”, said Sweetie.

“Okay, okay, it was just an idea”, said Scootaloo. “How about if we just make flyers, saying that we would pay for any information leading to living forever?”

“Say, that is a good idea”, said the other two.

Oh, to be young and stupid. That idea would never work…

“Oh, you’re just a pessimist”, said somepony who I will not name at this time.

Whatever. Anyway, they trio spent all night decorating a large 20 X 20 poster with the words, “Who wants to get paid so the CMC could live forever?”. The wording was Scootaloo’s choice, as she is the idiot who decides such things.

“I resent that remark”, said you know who.

“Ignore him. Anyway, we should probably start putting these up around town,” said the smart, but underachieving little Sweetie Bell.

“Don’t make me come up there!,” she said.

Just try and stop me. The disastrous trio made the back breaking labor of hanging posters up ten times harder than it needed to be by using spit instead of glue. They said and I quote, “It seemed like an okay idea at the time…” They concluded their mission and all went home to their separate houses.

A lot of thunder could be heard outside Sweetie Bells window. In fact, rain and lightning could also be heard out of everponies window because there was a storm outside. This wouldn’t have shown up in my story if not for one simple reason: the ten pound glitter that was used to create the posters all over town was now sliding off, leaving only a fraction of the words that they originally created.

The result was unnoticed for about 5 minutes until suddenly a cranky old coot just so happened to be walking by and saw the abridged version of their poster. Each syllable slung at the old coot and he was amazed at the ubsurdity. Soon (because apparently old ponies have telekinesis), everypony got out to bed (in the rain, I almost forgot to mention) just to look at the poster. A few shocking “awes” and “down with Celestia!” went out of the mouths of the ponies. What happened next is any ponies worst nightmare.

Sweetie was the first of the CMC to see the new poster. She selfishly thought, “Ahh, I had to pay over three bits for that glitter!” But she noticed that the message wasn’t what they intended. Because of the rain, the new words on the poster, the words that would eventually bring all of Equestria to the ground, was “Who wants to live forever?”.

What happens next? Well, I could just say “The End” and be done with this. However, I think I will let everypony sweat a little bit longer while I work on the next chapter. Goodbye, my little fools.

Author's Note

Hello. My name is Matthew DePointe. I know that for those of you who actually read my story might seem to find yourself seething with anger over my usage of stupidity in the CMC. I would just like to say that this was a one-shot, so any grammar issues are because of that. I will not apologize for old ponies having telekinieses (we will all have it eventually, anyway). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story and if views are good enough for this story, I'll work ten times harder on the next chapter.

A billion bits to you,
Matthew DePointe