The Narrative Parable

by Heropony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Comedy
Length: 1337

The Parable of Narration, where a ton of shit happens, ponies go crazy, and all around shenanigans ensue.

A collection of stories which is a collaboration with some of my friends.

A group of ponies and people's lives will change forever as uninvited visitors enter their head and mindbuck them. Shenanigans ensue.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-18 05:40:02 UTC

The Introduction

The Story, Narrator 1, Narrator 2, Narrator 3, Fluttershy’s Subconscious.  Pinkie Pie. And more to come.

There once was a man named Stanley. He worked in an office building and his job was to press buttons on a keyboard. He was an idiot, so he didn’t know how to do anything else. In fact, he probably only got the job because it was his rich cousin who owned the company! That's how he got the job… that, and drug money. Oh yeah, and Stanley is addicted to drugs, and hookers. Stanley got all his money from the drugs and hookers, even though his rich cousin gave him enough to survive. Stanley, hearing these three insane voices in his head, went out of his office to speak to the nurse.

Well, two insane voices, one was reasonable… not this one, however. That reasonable one is his actual voice which has no control of him, he then began walking faster to the nurse’s office. The nurse was passed out asleep on the couch on the side of the wall...as usual. Stanley decided to do the only thing reasonable. He picked up a giant pickle, and slapped the nurse with the strength of a fucking crocodile on steroids. The other narrator found that really weird and random and had no reason so Stanley put the pickle down realizing he broke the nurse’s neck and she was dead.

“Guess you can say I’m in.. a pickle.” Said Stanley. He then looked up and saw a security camera which saw the whole thing, now Stanley was a fan of Half Life, so he did the only thing he knew. He yelled “Half Life 3!” and he heard a window breaking, as well as the sound of a crashing and groaning Security Guard.  He then grabbed a crowbar and broke a vent, climbing in, too bad for Stanley, the fans were on. Stanley decided to use his Amazing Awesomeness Skills to run into the fan.. He died.

This is the story of a Boss named George. He owned the company Stanley worked at. When he heard what Stanley had done

“Wait,” he said “Where did these voices come from?”.

The boss looked around, and came to the only logical conclusion,

“I’m not me when I haven’t had my Snickers Bar.” He reached into his desk and pulled out…a Snickers Bar, already half eaten. He ate the rest of it, the voices continuing, “THE ADS WERE A LIE!” He yelled.

He then realized that he should probably see Stanley’s damage as he can’t see the nurse due to her neck situation, so he went to the electrician for the damage update. The Electrician said there wasn’t anything to be done, so the building would have to be demolished completely. George fell to his knees, having a heart attack.

This is the story of a pony named Twilight. Twilight was re-shelving the books when she said,

“NOT THIS VOICE AGAIN!!!” Ripping her hair out, dropping the books.

Spike slapped Twilight with a book, and screamed at her,

“GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, TWI!”

Twilight simply stared back, looked down upon the thousands of crying souls, and whispered,

“no,” Then she realized she was hallucinating, and just said that to Spike.

Twilight jumped up and ran down stairs and out the door to go see Zecora, and, maybe, find a cure for these voices. When she reached Zecora’s, Zecora was outside, ranting about how the plants grow on their own, instead of some twisted magic crap. Zecora then turned to Twilight and said,

“What a pleasure to see you Twilight, how may I help you, if I might?” Zecora inquired.

“I HAVE THESE BUCKING VOICES IN MY HEAD, AND I WILL RIP THEM OUT IF I HAVE TO! GET ME A POTIIIIIIIIIIIIION! Also, Orange.” Twilight replied.

  Zecora rolled her eyes and softly spoke,

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but your face of purple...is no longer...purple...It’s red...Go back to bed,” Zecora said, because fuck rhymes that are good.

Twilight instantly felt the voices leaving her head, the rhymes no longer tolerable.

This is the story of a pony named Fluttershy.  She went out to tend for the animals paying no mind to the voic- Hello, new people I see. WHAT THE? Who are you? Aw crap, we’ve been caught.  Who the hell is interrupting my glorious storytelling? Waitwait, Discord? Waitwait, we’re the new guys?! We’re out of here.

          This is the story of a pony named AppleBloom.  Applebloom was in the middle of another panic attack about not having her cutie mark, when she realized she was hearing weird voices. She thought that maybe, she’ll get a cutie mark in insanity. Woohoo! Wait, why are you celebrating, voices? She’s going insane, silly! Woohoooo!! Woohoooo, get the party favors! Anyway, let’s get back with the story.. *AHEM* She decided to go tell her friends, the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, about her chance for a new cutie mark. Scootaloo was full on the idea of an insanity cutie mark, but Sweetie Belle insisted that there wouldn’t be any idea on what it would look like. Applebloom had a suggestion.

“Maybe it’ll look like a brain with question mark thingies?” That sounds good, The other Cutie Mark Crusaders thought that sounded good, but Sweetie Belle had a question.

“Why would you want that cutie mark? It doesn’t sound like a good talent.” Bitch, please.

Scootaloo had a better idea.

“What about a cutie mark with a picture of Pinkie Pi- I mean a picture of a brain separated into different pieces with random colors!”

Applebloom, overcome with the insanity of the voices, came up with a logical-to-herself reply,

“FUCK THIS SHIT!” She yelled, flipping a table, and jumping out the window.

This is the story of a pony named Rainbow Dash. Rainbow was daydreaming about being a Wonderbolt when she noticed something, she forgot to talk with Pinkie today. Pinkie was out around Ponyville, searching for Dashie, frantic on finding her for a surprise. Pinkie had been thinking about the surprise all week when Rainbow Dash landed in front of her, Rainbow said,

“Hey Pinkie, you said you had to show me something today.”

Pinkie simply smiled, and patted her back, pulling her into Sugarcube Corner, down into the basement. The sound of RRRR..RRRRRR RRRR was heard. Rainbow Dash yelled - For Glee. A fully functional Wonderbolt’s Jetpack Souvineir. Rainbow Dash tried it on and Pinkie helped her all the while stroking and chewing her Skittles-flavored mane, and then took her outside. Rainbow Dash finally noticed the voices,

“Pinkie.. do you hear.. voices?” Pinkie looked at Rainbow Dash,

“Of course, all the time, silly!”

Uhm, guys.. I think she hears us. Nah, thats just Pinkie Pie. Oh no, I can hear you all! *Squeeee* … *hugs Pinkie* eeeeeeeee!   Rainbow Dash, now being scared of Pinkie Pie, then lost control and went hurtling into a house and her jetpack exploding and with it on her back, she didn’t survive. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF----

This is the story of a pony named PINKIE PIE! OH SHIT, SHE TOOK OVER! CODE SEVEN, CODE SEVEN! STOP THE MADNESS- OH GOD, SHE’S ATTACKING ME--- AGHHHH---    hee hee, she decided to take a ride on a boat on a search for candy island.  Pinkie rented  STOLE a boat from the boat dealers, and rode down Ponyville River. WE’VE BEEN ATTACKED! RETREAT! RETREEEAT!  *Muffled screams, and the sounds of rolling out of the doorway* Why’d they all go? I dunno, anyway, she then met some pirates who gave her directions and a candy swor-  STOP! IN THE NAME OF THE NARRATION POLICE! WE HAVE A REPORT OF A CODE SEVEN! OH GOD SHE HAS A KNIIIIIIFEEE- AHHHH! Everyone is acting so weird. I know. Drip.. Drip… So anyway, she reached candy island after a few minutes and ate all the candy and rode back and put the candy in all her cupcakes. Bye, Pinkie, call me. Bye! *runs out and back to ponyville* She was nice… where’d they all go? She.. stabbed me.. Call.. the ambulance.. DRIP. DRIP.  