I Got 682 Problems, But a Lizard Ain't One
When things go awry on Earth, where do strangely dressed people go but Equestria?
My name is Drake Long, and none of you are gonna believe a word I say.
It started with a crazy idea. Then it took a pair of clawed gloves and some careful crafting to make that idea a reality. It took a fake prison outfit to finish it, and then it took one impulse purchase to snowball it straight into Hell.
Welcome to Equestria's SCP foundation. I'm SCP 682 and I'll be your tour guide for today.
Watch out for 173; she's very temperamental.
Fair warning: This is a humanized pony story. So don't read this if you don't want to read horse words that are full of humans.
Edit:
New Cowriter!: Shagohad12
49571 words: Estimated about 4 hours to read
Download:
14 Chapters:
- [REDACTED] 2014-12-13 00:20:05 UTC1042
- [DATA EXPUNGED] 2015-02-01 06:23:37 UTC1298
- [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 2015-02-03 20:12:57 UTC1100
- ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎ 2015-02-09 07:21:26 UTC2363
- Destruction Increased to 33! 2015-02-12 05:45:38 UTC6963
- It Ain't Rocket Science, Kiddo 2015-02-12 05:47:14 UTC5614
- Seek n' Destroy 2015-02-12 05:48:58 UTC4772
- I'MMA BURN THIS SON OF A BITCH! 2015-02-13 06:54:25 UTC7559
- Well Fuck, Looks Like Someone Has 682 Problems As Well. Too Bad a Lizard IS One. 2015-03-15 06:36:01 UTC4698
- YOU'RE JUST A VOICE PAL! 2015-03-17 05:00:07 UTC1825
- YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT RACING 2015-04-10 19:19:33 UTC1034
- This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things 2015-04-10 19:29:23 UTC4778
- FOUNDATION HEARTS 2015-04-28 18:01:10 UTC3846
- Genesys Pharmaceuticals? 2015-07-03 08:00:14 UTC2679