Thought Experiments

by OlimarandLouie

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 844

A series of unrelated one-shots to help me further my writing skills. Enjoy at your own risk.

A series of unrelated one-shots to help me further my writing skills. Mostly unedited. Enjoy at your own risk.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-10 08:33:35 UTC

A Simple Discussion

"Please, wake up. I've discovered something terrible."

"Ugh... what? What's so important that you feel the need to wake me up at this unholy hour?"

"I don't think we're real."

"Have you been drinking again? Go away, I need my sleep."

"Please, just hear me out."

"...Fine. Why do you think we don't really exist?"

"Look at these test results. It doesn't add up."

"What doesn't add up? All I see is a bunch of unrelated test results on different spells."

"I'm being serious, look closer. I wouldn't drag you out of bed if I didn't know what I was talking about."

"...I still don't see anything."

"Must I spell it out? Look at the results of the Teleportation Test. See how it has the same result over ten runs, and then on the eleventh, the teleported object fails to materialize correctly."

"All right... were there any variables that could have influenced the test?"

"Not any variables like we are used to."

"I don't... please don't give me a headache, I'm already really tired."

"Trust me, a headache will be the least of your worries."

"Then please explain what the hay you are going on about! What is this variable, and why does it matter?!"

"Very well, but I want you to realize something first. Do you know why we are doing these tests?"

"Yes, of course! We're here to study the effects of spells within a magically sealed area, in addition to how it affects ponies."

"And how sealed is this area?"

"Let's see... its airtight, soundproof, weightless, invisible from the outside, and impenetrable without the correct magical signature. For all intents and purposes, we are secluded from the rest of the universe."

"And which ponies have the correct magical signatures?"

"Only us."

"Now that you've made that clear, look at the eleventh result again."

"It says that you successfully teleported an apple outside of... wait, that can't be right..."

"I teleported an apple outside of this area."

"I can see that, there must be a fault in the enchantment surrounding these rooms."

"I checked, and found no error in the spell. I did however find several holes in the walls, so to speak. Now before I show you the rest of that test result, I want you to answer one more question."

"Why am I the one answering questions..."

"What is outside of this testing area?"

"...Outside? You mean physically?"

"Yes."

"Its just a forest near Ponyville."

"So why, when I tried to teleport the apple back, does it's magical signature say it was exposed to a vacuum at absolute zero?"

"That can't possibly be right."

"The first thing I did was repeat the test under the same conditions. I received the same result."

"Then there must be a flaw in our enchantment that created these results."

"I already told you, I checked the enchantment. It is working as intended."

"I don't understand how the containment enchantment can create a vacuum, though."

"That is where my theory comes in."

"You're beginning to frighten me, you know."

"I'm sorry, but I need you to know that I'm not insane for thinking this."

"I have a bad feeling about this..."

"After performing several more tests on these 'holes' I have come up with the following conclusion: The universe doesn't exist outside of these rooms."

"That's preposterous."

"Teleporting objects outside of here leads to them being frozen in a vacuum. I even attached a magical sight spell to a book I sent outside, and when I looked through the book's eye, I saw nothing but blackness. No stars, nothing.

"Then how did this happen?"

"That's where things get a bit iffy. I tried to recall any quirks or unusual things that happened during the setup of the containment spell, but I couldn't remember anything unless I spent a while thinking about it."

"Then use a memory spell!"

"I tried. It didn't work."

"But that impossible... unless..."

"Unless there were no memories to begin with."

"But I have memories of my entire life! Going to college, getting married, and-"

"Stop. I'm going to perform a memory spell on you right now."

"I... all right."

"If this works... then my theory is correct. If it is, then Celestia help us both."

"I do hope it doesn't, then."

"There we go. I see vague memories of your time in college, getting married, a normal amount of memories in this place... and nothing else."

"But those things happened! I have a wife, and kids!"

"Those memories didn't exist until you thought of them. They only came into being in order to preserve your sanity. And mine."

"But... but... I..."

"Any memories we do have prior to being in this area are false. The universe as we know it... knew it, doesn't exist outside of these rooms. This is impossible... and yet, here we are."

"And if that is true, then what is our purpose here?"

"Who knows? I'd rather not try to tempt fate. Perhaps we are just a thought experiment of a higher being."