Main/Side CharactersView OnlineMy Little HaikuMain/Side CharactersRainbow Dash is cute Also a fast bird-pony And in a haiku. Pinkie Pie eats cake But doesn’t swallow the Cakes Except in vore clop. Twilight Sparkle is A lavender unicorn LUS in its true form. Rarity the fair Has a gorgeous mane of hair And a coat snow pure. Fluttershy’s afraid Of pretty much everything Dragons most of all. Applejack works hard On the farm day in and out Bucking apple trees. Babs Seed is so cute With her nervous tail flick Hiding a blank flank. Apple Bloom’s name is Two words, all you idiots Who think otherwise. Scootaloo goes “buzz” When she tries to fly away Emphasis on “tries.” Sweetie Belle’s the best Little sister in the world, Stated Rarity. Spike takes lots of flack. The poor guy’s a baby now. Wait till he grows up. Celestia’s goal Was to brighten others’ lives. Worked out pretty well. Luna wanted night, Hit her sister in the face, And lost thereafter.
Good Characters Are In HereView OnlineMy Little HaikuGood Characters Are In HereI belong in this group. Thanks, Fluttershy. I’m reformed. This is so boring… And broke the rules in line one. Screwball flies around Propeller cap on her head, Making my head hurt. Screw Loose isn’t sane. Barking is what puppies do. Woof woof bow wow wow. Daring Do’s a grump. She prefers to work alone. Rainbow Dash does not. Steven Magnet swims Along in a gross river. Magic dry mustache. Wandered into town Cranky Doodle Donkey did. Wow, he’s really bald! Matilda sadly Could not find her life-long love Until Pinkie helped. Crackle stood around, Staring sagely at the world. Eight short, stumpy legs. Hugh Jelly sits in His tub, smiling, sweetened fruits Sloshing over him. Aloe and Lotus Bid you to relax awhile And be tended to. Combining powers Mysterious Mare-do-well Confusing Rainbow While your coat is grey, Octavia, your music Colors the night air. Vinyl Scratch parties Far too long. When she awakes, Ow, hangovers suck. Lyra sits oddly. Worst of all, it’s infectious. Lots of broken hips. Bon Bon, vocalize With some consistency, mare! Make sweets, not voices! Cheese Sandwich used his Prodigious powers to whip Up a huge party. Doughnut Joe bakes his Confectionary delights. Delicious torus. Iron Will, speaker Extraordinaire, found himself Tamed by a small “No.” Dinky, little ball Of adorableness, gives People heart attacks. Sparkler, Dinky’s sis, Is a teen-aged unicorn. “Mom adopted me?” Derpy wrecked town hall And spread controversy with Just one appearance. Blossomforth contorts. Spines aren’t meant to go that way. How’s she still alive? Cloud Kicker’s the mare You see during a dry spell. Buck a cloud — downpour! Thunderlane and bro Rumble are adorable Doing sibling stuff. Fancy Pants is rich Yet he doesn’t wear a stitch On his hindquarters. Trophy wife describes Fleur dis lee quite perfectly. That is plain to see. Jet Set follows trends Just like a socialite should To stay relevant. Photo Finish makes Magics with her camera Doesn’t have a horn. Pumpkin and Pound Cake Are their father’s children. Is it Mr. Cake? Intramarital Strife. Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Highly related. Cheerilee’s got class From eight until three PM. Then she can relax. Thith haiku ith fun. Bet you can’t gueth whothe thith ith. Oh, that’th right. It’th Twitht’th. Pip Squeak’s coat is white Brown, and unique. A paint horse This foal surely is. Zecora says rhymes Many, many, many times. Screw that; it’s too hard. Carrot Top’s vision In low light is fantastic. Beta-carotene! Maud Pie emotes little. Expression as hard as stone Specifically, quartz. Tom briefly soared out Of Twilight Sparkle’s window. Look out! Here comes Tom! Bloomberg — apple tree What else can I say besides He grew on me? –Earth Seabreeze floats along, Speaking Scandinavian, Tiny, angry bug. Granny Smith’s hip creaks Like a rusty, old barn door. Too bad grease won’t help. Big Mac sure is strong. Dragging a whole house along With him while he pronks. Apple Strudel’s life Is blessed by both a mustache And lederhosen. Braeburn loves the town Aaa-aaappeloosia more than Any other place. Little Strongheart: Does she buffalo other Buffalo? Who knows? Chief Thunderhooves yells “Charge!” But after pie-in-face gag Becomes best of friends. Cherry Jubilee’s Cutie mark would be at home On a slot machine. Shining Armor stopped Changelings with a mighty shield Failed perception roll… Cadence fills the role Pretty pink pony princess. Alliteration! Soarin’ loves eating Pie and sometimes Applejack If you ask shippers. Spitfire blazes A trail of graceful smoke through The sky like a pro. Fleetfoot, Wonderbolt, Power through the open air. Who even are you? Bulk Biceps I just Don’t even understand your Thrust-to-weight ratio. Star Swirl the Bearded Doesn’t ring any bells for— Ah, that old wizard.
Concepts of the Show/Our beloved ponies’ pets/Historic eventsView OnlineMy Little HaikuConcepts of the Show/Our beloved ponies’ pets/Historic eventsPrevailing as one, Defeat lonely enemies! Friendship is magic. Staying by your side, A loyal friend gives support, Keeping you from harm. Laughter really is The best medicine of all. Who needs a doctor? Generosity: Giving alms and expecting Nothing in return. Towards all others Our actions should be guided By thoughts of kindness. What is honesty? The burden of speaking truth Even when it’s hard. Harmony means that All ponies whom you know are Living in rapport. Thankful for his shell, Bumping into many things, Tank soars through the air. Gummy chomps down on Ponies’ forehooves all the time. Wait till he’s teething. Owlowiscious’ famed Line could start an awful war With a single “Hoo.” Opalescence claws Anything that dares approach During a cat nap. Wouldn’t get within A hair’s breadth of the terror Called Angel Bunny Winona can herd With the best of them, meaning Of course, Applejack. Peewee, tiny chick, Some day will grow to become Blazing fire bird! Philomena could Teach Rarity how to be A worse drama queen. Boulder, little rock Plays Hide and Seek expertly. Where’d he even go? Boneless fits in here, Right? I mean, it’s not alive, But Cheese didn’t care. Starswirl made a spell Or, at least, a part of one. Worked out for the best. In the freezing cold Ponies escaped starvation And found fertile lands. Ancient precursors To our favorite six ponies Saved the pony race. Chaos swept the land Its seeds spread by the spirit Of disharmony. Discord turned to stone After being hit by a Rainbow-colored blast. Sombra then fell next. Coruscating light banished Him for an epoch. Empire sealed away For a thousand years was his Evil parting gift. Luna’s slow descent Could have been averted by More astronomers. War of Sun and Moon Really turned out to have been A one-on-one fight. Palace of Sisters Abandoned to be reclaimed By the Everfree. Founding Canterlot Everypony knew was a Grieving mare’s recourse. Rainboom number one Passed down generations and Became a tall tale. Ponyville sprang up Many, many years ago. Granny’s seen a lot. Author's Note I am frankly shocked That this story's done so well. Thank you, everyone! Also, duly note That from here the story takes A different focus.
Some Ponies Must ChooseView OnlineMy Little HaikuSome Ponies Must ChooseLong Haul brings the mail. He must go both far and wide. It is his true love. In his home city, Baltimare, he greets the morn, Rising with the sun. The mail run won’t wait For snow nor rain nor heat nor Those with bleary eyes. He minds the hour not. His wings long for open air And exertion’s burn. Ascending, he goes Package-laden on his quest To deliver mail. Pulling a huge cart, Long Haul watches below. There! A familiar face. He sees her, earth-bound, Staring up as he passes. A flash of beauty. Then gone, like always. No stopping with these bundles. Farther and higher. The ground slips away, Becoming a patchwork quilt. Each tree is a dot. Earth slips by below, A moving mosaic of land. It has beauty too. The greens are her eyes. The ocean matches her coat, Mysterious blue. Glints off the water Echo the smiles she gives him Each time he passes. His mind and body, Each goes off in separate ways. One ahead, one back. Manehattan, a speck, Will appreciate the cloth He brings, bolting there. He knows just one thing: They won’t meet for a week yet. Don’t think about it. Arrival. Bustle. Puny “skyscrapers” below. He laughs at the term. Then, Long Haul descends. Caustic mares and stallions glare, Making his skin crawl. Manehattan he leaves As soon as possible, for It turns ponies bad. Bearing new orders And packages too, he flies, Leaving the city. Turning to the west, He continues on toward The Crystal Empire. He gains altitude. The air high above is thin And parts easily. Hours pass him by. Trees become shrubs become ice. Real cold lies ahead. In The Frozen North Mountains are true skyscrapers. He scoffs not at them. Craggy flank him, Guiding Long Haul toward life, The city, his goal. He flies right through a Squall, rogue in this untamed land. Ice encrusts his form. Gusts shake both his cart And his self-confidence. Yet! Ahead is the spire. The sight brings him hope, And Long Haul surges forward, Drawn toward his goal. Through the pain he fights, Throat burning, wings dying embers. His eyelids are stone. He heaves in a breath, Each a pyrrhic victory. Even his lungs ache. Exhausted, he dips, Clipping snow from a mountain. Hoof and leg go numb. Everything is black. Covering his head is cloth. A blanket—but how? He lies in a bed. Soldiers stand around and watch. Memories return. Disused legs crumple. The hard road welcomes his face. Ponies rush to him. Long Haul looks around And thanks everypony there. Then, two more walk in. Alicorn and prince Stride into the room with both Concerned words and praise. They give him an award A medal (made of crystal) For a job well done. What had he brought them? Long Haul wonders. Or, he thinks, They could be too kind. They leave him to rest. But he is a pegasus, Strong, resilient. He had nearly died, But he springs back to action. After a short nap. When morning breaks forth, Long Haul springs into action And also the air. He heads southward now, To Equestria’s center, Its hub, Canterlot. Bearing royal seals On all his deliveries, He takes extra care. This time, Luck’s his friend. No storm comes to strike him down. The flight is easy. Squinting he closes On the city of royals. Its polished gold gleams. Amid the buildings, His head unconsciously dips. Majesty surrounds. Huge mountains rise up, Impassive. But here, buildings Speak of great power. The castle he draws near On hoof he approaches it. Can’t go through the air. Into the palace, Long Haul enters through the gate. Guards unpack his cart. Pleasant but clipped words, Direct him away again. To the post office. Prompt Delivery, The Postmaster General, Orders him this time. Out past Ponyville To Los Pegasus he goes. This time less a cart. A special harness, Designed not to move in flight, Clings to chest and back. Nevermelt Ice nails For some rich pegasus there Made by a strong mage They weigh too little, He thinks as he flies along. They’re not a challenge. To his left, the Gorge, A massive tear in the earth, Looks just like a mouth. Flight path unswerving, His mind wanders back to her, And he wonders why. Perhaps, he guesses, Being near death changed his life, And now he wants more. Yet that can’t be it; He’d thought of her yesterday. Must be something else. With her leaf green eyes And her lustrous, deep blue coat, She has captured him. What is it she does, Rising with the sun each day? He wants to find out. Alas, they won’t meet Until his route takes him home, Be it days or weeks. Tossing his blond mane, He sighs and continues on To Los Pegasus. There, he’s thanked and tipped By a plump pegasus mare Who owns lots of art. At the post office Is a roost for those like him Who traverse the land. He stays the night there, Waiting for the coming day And a heavy load. He awakes early Ready to be off again, Laden down with bits. Six casino’s goons Flank him in a tight circle. They look paranoid. Long Haul worries not. His airspace is always clear Since he flies so high. Cruising altitude All the others gasp for breath, But he laughs inside. Back to Canterlot. Millions of bits in tow, He feels powerful. Wings straining for lift, The armored cart weighs him down, But he combats it. He feels so alive. The escorts around him fade, Leaving just the sky. The wind supports him, His hooves far off of the ground, Left so far behind. A shining beacon, The roofs of the capital Call him from below. As he trots down streets, Ponies give the strangest looks. Bits draw ponies’ stares. At a gilded bank, They unlock him from the cart And dispelled some charms. He goes back to Prompt For his next assignment and Then heads for Cloudsdale. It’s a simple run, Shorter than he’d really like, But it must be done. He’s alone once more, Not that the goons from before Were real company. Cloudsdale’s nebulous Edge comes into Long Haul’s sight. Or does it, really? City outskirts range From stratus to cirrus clouds, A huge area. Pegasi don’t mind. Why would distance matter when They can fly with ease? Long Haul thinks about How nice life would be here With its far-flung homes. Then, a thought occurs. That mare is an earth pony. She could not live here. His flight slows slightly As he re-evaluates His priorities. Flights to neighbors’ homes Wouldn’t be worth it, he thinks. Then there’s seeing her. Author's Note Thank you for reading. This is just the beginning Of Long Haul's story.
Bad Characters LastView OnlineMy Little HaikuBad Characters LastNightmare Moon’s mane flows With power, wrecking landscapes But forging friendships. Gilda yelled a lot. Then she roared at Fluttershy. Unacceptable! Nameless red dragon, You must be so very tired. Sleep for a century. Blueblood is a prick. Don’t let his big horn fool you. His horn is quite small. Flim and Flam are twins. Wait, which one is which, again? Eh, who really cares? Trixie really is The best unicorn ever! Where’s my money, Seth? Diamond Tiara Lacks characterization But has jewelry. Silver Spoon seems weak Influenced by those with power Must be little spoon. Diamond Dogs’ ears are Very sensitive things! Stop Whining, miss pony! Dragons were mean jerks Who would eat a phoenix’s eggs. Wonder how that works… Om nom! Spit! One more. Repeat till Ponyville is All chewed up and gone. Half dragon half bird The cockatrice is Scary with its red— Cadence isn’t nice. She was bridezilla all day. Oh, hi, Chrysalis. King Sombra wanted Slaves, crystals, and more vocab. He got none of them. Tirek: final boss Ended up a shriveled husk Back where he belongs. Lightning Dust foils Dash And not with aluminum. She’s less scrupulous. My, these rules are quite silly. Where’s the fun in just Five-seven-five? Discord instead!
