hard days night

by Aeker

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 4226

cadence and luna share some shifty shenanigans in the fabulous las pegasus

me and my cousin wrote this really late one night on a whim. i don't really remember it too well but i figured why not put it out there

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-12 21:35:34 UTC

what happens in las pegasus stays in las pegasus

Hard Days Night

Written by:Æker and assisted by Çauxl

~Friday~

    One day in Equestria Luna was getting ready for a well earned vacation to Las Pegasus with princess Cadence. Luna had handed over her duties of raising the moon to her sister for the weekend and Cadence was leaving her husband in control of the Crystal Empire.

    Luna was packing for the trip when her sister walked in. "Oh hay sis, what's goin on?" Luna asked. "Oh, nothing at the moment. Before you leave I want you to have these." Celestia replied and she gave Luna a box no bigger than a box of cough medicine. "What is it?" "It's..... well....just trust me you'll want them, have a fun trip!" As Celestia left the room Luna took a closer look at the box and turned bright red as she noticed it was a box of condoms. Luna quickly yelled for for Celestia. When she returned to the room Luna looked up at her and handed the box back and giggled. "I'm old enough to handle myself out there, anyway do you think the writer is gonna have me raped or something? And another thing, do you really think I wouldn't already have packed condoms?" Celestia said in a joking manner. "Ha-ha, yeah I forgot you are the 'PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT' after all!" (swish) Luna giggled, closed her saddle bags, kissed her sister on the cheek and left for the train station.

    Meanwhile in the Crystal Kingdom.

    Cadence and ShiningArmor both got out of the shower together, they began to make sex. That's right they made sex! A few seconds later ShiningArmor lept off of Cadence and rushed from the bed and the wet body of his lover to the bathroom squeaking. "Gotta pee, gotta pee!" Cadence, laying there quite unsatisfied told herself. "Fuck it, if he can't finish I will!" She quickly sent a hoof down and in a matter of seconds she did what he couldn't. Once he came out of the bathroom she shouted. "Oh thank Celestia I got that out." Cadence only replied by saying. "It would've been pretty kinky if you would've pissed on me." And with that she gave him a sly grin and a peck on the cheek and she left him simply befuddled.

    The two mares met at the train station and headed for Las Pegasus. Once they arrived Cadence headed straight to the MLP Grand hotel, Luna decided to head straight for a bar. Luna, on her way to the bar in the cassino met a nice young stallion. Instantly she knew she wanted him, and she wanted him now!  "How are you tonight?" Luna asked flirtatiously giggling to herself. The stallion looked her in the eyes and drew closer and watched as Luna'$ smile amplified. "No." Puzzled Luna looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "W-what!?" "No." He replied again calmly. "What do you mean 'NO'!?" "I mean no to what you were planning. You wanted me to have sexual intercourse with you and I simply replied, no." Luna obviously growing frustrated shouted in the royal Canterlot voice. "WHAT KIND OF STALLION ARE YOU!!! I, PRINCESS LUNA WANT TO HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND, NO STRINGS ATTACHED I MIGHT ADD, AND YOU JUST SAY 'NO'! WHAT KIND OF STALLION ARE YOU!!" The stallion opened his mouth and spoke softly. "You ask, what kind of stallion am I? I'm a gay stallion for starters." Luna'$ cheeks grew flush. "G-gay...oh....well....uhh....." The room was now drained of sound as all eyes hung on Luna and her little episode. Luna quickly decided to turn tail and run to the hotel, face red and hung in embarrassment.

    Meanwhile

Cadence was checked into a room for two. "Hmm, well since noponies here but me..." She laid down on a nearby bed and snuck a hoof between her thighs, thrusting slow at first but gradually picking up the pace and occasionally letting out a moan. The very second she climax, "hay Cadence I'm ba.." as Luna entered she was showered in a torrent of Cadence'$ love juices. To see the juices splurge out like that sent Luna a bit too far. "WHAT THE FUCK!!?" Luna thundered. "Oh...um....I, sorry..." Cadence was truly sorry. "It's okay, you know you really need to put out some sort of warning. Just next time put a sock or something on the doorknob." Luna settled down a bit and let Cadence speak. Cadence spoke with a soft and demure voice. "You still would've come in if I would've put out a warning." Luna turned red again. "That's beside the fact, anyway you wanna go to the pool and bar?" "Yeah I guess I'm done NOW, I'll be down in a bit." she said with a bland expression. "Okay, I'll see ya."

    Once they got to the pool they swam a bit but mostly they flirted with some fugly looking stallions to get a few cruel laughs. At the pool there was a sort of makeshift bar that ran along side the pool. "Hay, let's get a couple drinks!" Cadence shouted from across the pool. On her way to the bar Luna trotted seductively past some fine ass mares. Throughout the night the two drank themselves into a stupor and for one night they threw away all there problems and strife.

~Saturday~

    That morning Cadence woke up back in the hotel room with no recollection of how she got there. Cadence looked around at the room around her and it was by no means the same as it was, oh yes it was...different, and mare was being clutched by an unknown stallion for some reason. At the moment the only thing she was positively certain of was the sharp pain that was running through her ass hole. Her ass really hurt somthin awful and she just didn't know why. She nudged the stallion beside her in the bed and yelled softly. "Did you fuck me in the ass last night!?!?" "No! I think you fell down the stairs out front or something, and why the fuck are you yelling!?" "Sorry I'm just a little fuzzy about last night." She replied. "Well go ask the mare passed out on the kitchen floor and let me go the fuck to sleep." With that said Cadence jumped out of bed and headed for the kitchen.

    In the kitchen she saw a sight that would scar her for life. Luna'$ horn was an odd shade of brown and she was passed out on the floor with an unknown stallion laying across her belly. At the other side of the floor was a grey colt with a jet black mane. Cadence walked over to Luna and yelled. "Wake up....wake up.....Luna, wake the fuck up!" Unable to wake her she decided to kick her in the stomach and say. "Fuck you to then." Cadence then left the building to go get something to eat. Walking out of the building she wondered why Luna'$ horn was brown, she then looked back to the hotel entrance. "There's....no...stairs.". She cringed at the sudden realization.

    A little while later back in the room Luna was waking up. "Uhn....yaaaaawwwnnn....." She looked down at the stallion laying on top of her and rolled him off of her. Once she saw his face she noticed that he was one of the fugly stallions from the pool. Her eyes strayed form his face down to genitals. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, this thing was fucking huge! It was like a fucking elephant cock fucked a horse cock and they made a big as super cock! Er...anyway, she stood up and headed to the bedroom faster than you can say shaller grave. She threw open the door and said. "Cadence you awake yet!?" Luna boomed in the royal Canterlot speaking voice. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING LIKE THAT FOR!!??" A stallion bared like a fog horn. Luna replied. "Who are you?" "I'm Æker, who the hell are you?" He answered in a condescending tone. "You don't know me? Hmm odd. Well I'm Luna." "Why the FUCK would I know who you are?" Æker said angrily. "Cause I'm...oh well it doesn't matter, have you seen Cadence?" "The pink mare?" "Yeah!" Luna replied with just enough joy in her voice to scare the stallion a little. "Well all I remember is when I woke up a pink mare was sayin somethin about butt sex then she went into the kitchen. After that I went back to sleep....oh and I heard sompony leave." Luna let out a groan and said. "Well....shit. Well i guess I outta go find her." Luna'$ tone then changed from dull and drab to flirtatious and spunky as she trotted near the bed. "But first." She looked at Æker and winked. Æker looked at her as the anger on his face changed into a wide grin. "Do it!" He said. Luna then jumped on the stallion's juicy wrickle-stick and the two...

                    [///CENSORED///]

        (Horse noises, violent pounding)

    Luna left the white unicorn feeling quite satisfied. (Wow she really rustled his jimmys) The stallion's brown mane looked quite rough. He said to Luna. "You may wanna clean the shit off of your horn before you leave." Luna looked up to see the tip of her horn, it was brown. "Yeah I think I will." As Luna got out of bed she smiled back at the unicorn stallion. Luna walked through the kitchen and saw that both the colts on the floor were gone. She shrugged and continued to the bathroom. "Hopefully a shower will get all these love stains off of me." (Love stains = baby batter) Once she got to the bathroom door she heard a stallion singing. "I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was....." As she silently swung the door open she looked through the sliding glass shower doors. She didn't recognize him till she got down to his lower body. Luna recognized that unnaturally enormous shlong. Without a second to lose she rushed into the shower. "Remember me honey?" Luna cooed. "How could I forget, your the bitch who laughed at me for crying during coitus." "Well I don't care about that anymore, I just want you inside me now!" As Luna bent over in front of him he said. "Oh its gonna be a good day!" Then he slammed balls deep into Luna'$...

                    [///CENSORED///]

(More horse noises, other stuff happened)

...The creamy brown mane of the stallion bucked wildly as Luna felt a cold wetness on her flank. She looked up and found him crying like a little foal. The stallion let out a pathetic whimper as he retracted from Luna. His humungalus ginormigantuant willy trickling a foaming broth of tears and spunk. As the mixture formed a creamy pool on the shower floor, he lowered his cherry poppers into the mix and did a nutsack power-slide through the ooze. Then he tossed Luna aside like a used up rubber. "That was...different." Said Luna. "If ya like it that much maybe we can do it again, but right now I need to refuel my electrolytes. Goodbye, live long and prosper." "Wait! What's your name?" Luna called. Looking kinda puzzled he said. "Don't you remember? I'm the prostidude you hired. Ha-ha you sure seemed to know my name last night when you were bent over the kitchen table. Well, anywho, I'm Çauxl,. Maybe we'll see each other later in this fanfic, who knows? Well ta-ta for now." As the stallion left Luna finished her shower.

    "Oh I feel like shiiiit!!" Cadence proclaimed to herself. "Oh fuck me, where can I get some fucking breaaaackfist!?" Right then Cadence looked up to find out that she had wondered into an alley. Not sure of where she was, she backed out hastily but was stopped by a white pegasus stallion with a black mane. "What took you so long?" He questioned. Before she could answer he locked her into a deep kiss. She could feel his mouth meat darting down her throat as they kissed. Cadence jumped back. "Hey! hey! hey! You know the rule, put it on." She said smiling. She then unfolded her wings and a box of condoms fell to the ground. "You sneaky bitch!" He said in a joking manner. "Do you really need a full box?" He asked. She looked at him with those come hither eyes and said. "What can I say, I'm a busy girl." Then she bent over and folded her wings down and said. "I want you to make me bleed!" The white pegasus then punctured her sideways bearded clam with a cock crippling force and...

                    [///CENSORED///]

                 (Kinky coitus ensues)

    ...Still on top of Cadence the stallion screamed. "Say my name bitch, say my name!!!" Cadence moaned. "Yuuki, oh god yes Yuuki!!" (Well that kind nine elevened the moment) By this time Cadence'$ wings were spread wide and her flank was covered in red hoofprints. The pegasus then pulled a cattle-prod out from under his wing and began to...

                   [///CENSORED///]

                  (For good reasons)

    ...Once they finished Cadence said. "Wow you're getting better, I actually felt you this time." (Level up!) "Yeah I actually got to finish this time! I guess its a good thing you told me to come out here after all hun?" He said with a chipper tone. "I guess it was. You keep that stuff up and I may even get my husband in on this dominating sex stuff, who knows he may even be rougher than you!" Cadence said panting as she wiped sweat from her forehead. "Ha! Sorry to disappoint but nopony is more kinky than me!" Yuuki said. "You got a point there, after all that clit cattle-prod trick was somethin else! Well I'll see you later." She let those last five words roll out of her mouth in the sexiest voice possible. She handed him a couple of bits but he declined and said. "This ones on the house." He kissed her and left. Cadence then finally was free to continue her quest for food. She decided to stop at a Mooby's (LOL) to chow down. Inside the restaurant she saw a familiar face. It was the grey colt from the kitchen floor!

         (Out on the streets with Luna)

    "Hmmm I wonder where the hell Cadence is, hmmm well I know where I'm going!" Luna proceeded to go to a Big Sugarcube's Chicken and Waffle. (Weeeeelllll she is black after all......I regret nothing!)

                 (Back to Cadence)

    Cadence thought to herself out loud. "Maybe that colt knows what happened last night ." Cadence tried desperately to flag him down but he had no success. The crowd was to dense and she couldn't get to him so she got his attention the only way she could think of. "MOVE FUCKS!!!" The shout cut the crowd like a flaming sword through helium. As the crowd desperately ran for cover from the rage of the pink alicorn the sound of hooves shuffling across tile was broken by laughter, I mean like full belly rolling on the floor about to die of oxygen deprivation laughing. Who was laughing you may ask? None other than the grey colt Cadence was trying to get to. Cadence looked around confused and frustrated. "What are you laughing at!?" Then it hit her, her wings were open. The open wings allowed the box of condoms to fall to the ground, also the open wings revealed red hoofprints on her flank. There she stood, immobile and stricken with embarrassment. After several long awkward moments of periodically standing there, she mustered up enough composure to speak to the laughing colt. "Come to the MLP Grand hotel, room 117(LOL) at six o' clop.( the lol has been doubled!) I need to ask you some things about last night." She then re-obtained the box of condoms, tucked them under her wing and headed for the hotel.

                      INTERMISSION

     (re-apply lotion and re-stock tissues)

                       ~Meanwhile~

    Luna was showing down on some chicken(Scootaloo) and waffle. 'The atmosphere in here sucks.' Luna thought to herself. 'And for some reason my nipples are hard. Hmmm, maybe I'm horny...' "I think I'm going to have that stallion over there fuck me in the ally." This stallion wasn't  particularly bad looking buuuuut, he wasn't exactly a first prize hog, if ya know what I mean.(wink-wink) "He looks familiar from somewhere but I can't quite put my hoof on it, Hmmm..." Luna said to herself as she trotted over to his table. As she sat down in the booth across from him she saw the vibrant vermilion in his eyes and said. "Hey baby what's your name?" He replied with a nervous stammer. "K-K-K-Kaloe, a-and y-you are?" 'Why the hell does nopony know me around here!?' She thought to herself. "I'm Luna. By any chance are you mare-ied?"( :'o swish) The stallion shook his head no. "Gooooood, then fallow me if you wanna have a good time." Luna walked away shaking her plot at the stallion, it probably would have been pretty sexy if she hadn't run into a table on the way out, still the stallion followed. Luna ushered the stallion into the ally, she beamed close to him and whispered naughty things into his ear. "I want you to dominate me!" She said. The stallions eyes closed as a disappointed expression crept over his face. He groaned and said. "Okay, let's get this done." Luna raised an eyebrow. "What!? 'LET'S GET THIS DONE'? What don't you think I'm sexy!?" Luna shot back angrily. "No its not that its..." The stallion sighed. "To be perfectly honest, if you hadn't come to my table I would have waited for you to leave then raped you in the ally, but since you WANT me to have sex with you its....its just not the same." "Is there anything I can do to help?" Luna asked. Kaloe laid down on the ground, legs fully spread, and said. "How about you dominate ME instead?" Luna smiled, then she stroked his [DELETED WORD] hard as she fondled his...

                  [///CENSORED///]

                   (Sorry cloppers)

    As she tongue-punched his throat-box he began to gag. Eventually he managed to get on top of her.

                   (Back to Cadence)

    As Cadence walked back to the hotel she heard noises coming from an ally a little ways up the street. She decided to investigate but by the time she got to the ally it was quiet. Just outside of the ally she stood and watched ad a stallion happily trotted out, his semi-flaccid weener dangling between his legs. She watched as it swayed back and forth. Once the stallion was out of sight Cadence returned her focus to the ally. She peered around the corner into the ally to find. "Luna!?!" Cadence shouted. "Cadence??!" Luna returned. "For the love of Satan, we have to stop finding each other in these situations!" Cadence exclaimed. "Yeah that's probably for the best." Luna replied still on her back. "I'm headed for the hotel, you coming?" Cadence asked. "Yeah I think I'll go with you, after all I need a shower. I swear no stallion I meet can seem to make it in my mouth. I mean is it really that hard to do? You spank it and yank it and I'll catch it in my mouth, is it really that hard of a concept to grasp!?" Cadence looked at Luna with a face I can't describe with words so I'm gonna describe it with symbols.  Θ_Θ  there, got the picture? Good, anyway. Luna and Cadence began to walk back to the hotel when Cadence asked Luna. "Does there cum really taste THAT good?" Luna looked Cadence in the eye and said. "There is no better feeling than warm jizz forcing its way down your throat." "Wow that good hun?" "Yes,yes it is.....and its only got four calories per teaspoon!" Luna answered.

            (Back at the hotel room)

    Back at the hotel Cadence and Luna sat waiting. Hours went by and the clock was now striking twelve.

                        (Sunday)

    About twenty minutes after twelve Luna and Cadence had started talking. (I bet you don't know where this is going.) They talked about stupid ass crappy that would never, ever matter in real life, you know shit like calculus and when they were gonna get their periods and shit. Well anyway, the two talked and talked until Luna said. "I wanna see how it feels to stuff sponge-cake in my pussy." Cadence gave her a gay ass smile kinda like the smile Braeburn gave Applejack when he was first introduced. After that Cadence got up and jumped out the window, the shattering sound of the glass made Luna horny so she started roofing her puffy pussy lips. About ten minutes later Cadence flew back through another window shattering it. She saw Luna beating her bush so she ran up to her. "Surprise!" Cadence shouted and held out a huge ass sponge cake. As that very second the colt Cadence was waiting for walked into the room. What he saw gave him a weird boner but he liked the weird boner. Cadence stood by the bed blood seeping from various wounds and shards of glass caught in her coat and mane while Luna rubbed around her [DELETED WORD]. The slurping sound that accompanied the smell of fresh sponge-cake made him instantly shoot his load on the carpet. (so are you hungry or horny?) "How you doing?" Luna asked as if nothing had happened. "I came." He replied. "That you did, good for you." Cadence said as she walked over and patted his penis on the head. she then returned to Luna and said. "Give me a minute I gotta do something real quick." She then lifted the sponge-cake above her head then she trusted it into Luna'$ [EXPLICIT WORD] with both hooves. The thrust had so much force that Luna was sucked into her vajj and eaten alive. "Well now that that's done I need you do tell me your name and what all we did last night." Cadence said as she turned. "Well sugar teats my name is Ttuv and man did we get fuuuuuuuucked uuuup last night! I mean we did coke, we beat the shit out of each other, we did it all!" "Okay cool, now did you fuck me or Luna?" She asked. "Pssshh please bitch I'm fucking gay! I don't want yo skanky ass pussy! Naw but I did hit them ole boys Çauxl and Æker'$ tight little assess. Yeah! Baby!" Cadence had gotten bored in the middle of his sentence so she started to rub her nipples. "Okay cool that's all I needed." Cadence said. She then pulled a forty-four magnum revolver from behind Ttuv'$ ears and she shot him in the balls and left.

    Cadence'$ day played out like any other day, walk around eat some hay, get fucked by a soccer team, you know the norm. She did all this until the afternoon, then she had to get back on the train to yo back to her shiny ass homophobic house. As she got on the train she found Luna. "Bitch I thought your pussy ate you!?" Cadence yelled on shock. "No it didn't eat me, it just transported me into another world were there's no ponies. All there was was these things called ' HUMANS' and you know me I'm a stupid wetback and I let one of them fuck me, I mean it was kinda sad he was trying so hard but his little ass dick just didn't do it for me. I couldn't help myself I started laughing. Poor little Kenny. But man his hair was fucking hooooot!" Cadence just rolled her eyes and sat down.

    Just before the train left the station Luna asked Cadence. "This ride is gonna suck, you wanna make out the hole way home?" "Aren't we related?" Cadence replied. "I don't know maybe, no, who cares?" "You make a persuasive argument." Cadence replied again. Then they made out the hole way home.

    Once Luna arrived home sh-...you know what? Fuck Luna she's a dumb nigga bitch and she can suck my left nut! (I mean if she really wants to.)

    Once Cadence got home she headed straight to her bedroom. The doors were shut. She put her ear to the door and heard a feminine voice say. "Oh yeah right there, oh oh oh!" Then she heard ShiningArmor say. "Oh yeah you like that do ya, well have a little of this uhn!!" Cadence then walked through the door to find Braeburn and ShiningArmor playing with barbie dolls. (Your + mind = blown) "Um Cadence you weren't supposed to see this" ShiningArmor said shamefully. "You were making the barbie dolls have sex? What the fuck is wrong with you? No you know what, as punishment for playing with dolls I'm making you stick you and Braeburn'$ dicks in my ass hole tonight!" ShiningArmor looked at Braeburn as Cadence walked out and said. "See what you've done.....I fucking hate you Braeburn."

The end

Authors note- the moral of this story is brought to you by the letter FUCK and the number 666. Have a nice day now

P.S. I RAGRET NOTHUNG.... NUT EVIN MI SPELLENG

FUCK YOU!