Roommates [Old Version]

If I knew the right words to explain how I felt about this current situation, I would convey them to you in a heartbeat; however, I've looked in the dictionary, and so far nothing I've found matches the vigor of how I feel. Swift Rain, the academy director, informed me that this was some systematical error in the organization programming, and that there were no other vacant rooms available to deflate my predicament. So for now I'm stuck in this massive dorm with six of the most popular mares on campus, fighting for my sanity on a constant basis, and overall trying to survive.

It was little over a week ago when this whole scenario took place, and so far my life's been hectic as a fat boy in a candy store, or me when I 'find myself' in an all-you-can-eat buffet, now that's hectic. I had just moved to Ponyville from this small settlement Northwest of Apple Loosa, near the Everfree Forest. It was called Ricksford Village, one of the first human settlements in Equestria named after the two colonists that founded it; James Rickson, and Bernard Ford. We had our own technology with a little bit of a magic touch, literally; which meant I didn't have to quit cold turkey with my video game and internet addiction.

After about two years of settling down in Ricksford, I moved Southeast of Apple Loosa, working with a farmer who had the genius idea of raising crops in the crevices of Macintosh Hills, growing massive veggies and fruits in vast numbers. In the interest of time, I made enough money to buy my way into Sunny Rays Academy, where I hoped to get ahead in life and reach a few goals I've been following. I talked things over with the academy's director, and settled my registration with both Princesses, I was ready to make something of my life.

Then it happened.

I was making my way through school halls, trying to avoid contact with other people... Er... Ponies. I eventually found a directory that pointed me towards the dorms I was going to be staying at. When arrived at the dorm sector, I should have known something was off: I was a freshman who paid the minimum entry fee to enter this Academy, and the dorm sector I was assigned to was way too fancy for the likes of me, but hell I wasn't complaining. I continued to voyage until I found the right place; each building was equivalent to a single dorm room from where I come from, so really I was going to be staying in a dormitory mansion with just a few other roommates. Again, way too good to be true in my opinion, yet I wasn't going to complain thus far.

Once I reached my destination, I could immediately feel my heart thrashing violently against my chest, like a caged animal trying to escape its imprisonment. I should have gone with my gut and walked away, but something just drew me closer, I don't know what. I reached forward, planted my cumbersome index finger against the doorbell, and minutes later I was greeted by six of the most popular mares on campus: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack. By the looks of it neither of us were expecting one another, and thus begins my story.

*Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, SLAM!!*

I raised my hand from my alarm clock, groaning with frustration. I had got little to no sleep last night, Fluttershy having come into my room multiple times last night, claiming that she heard something outside the dorm. I would walk with her clung tightly to my arm, patrolling around the building for about thirty minutes before coming back inside. After dealing with Flutters, I was soon approached by a sleepwalking Rainbow Dash who would always come and lay in my bed with me. I'd carried her about five times to her room before she eventually stopped. Then, there came the sleepless Twilight who would talk to me about countless subjects while I just sat at the small stool at the bar of the kitchen listening to it all with dark rings under my eyes. Don't even get me started on Pinkie Pie's midnight raids in the kitchen, I swear that mare could eat enough food to last a family four a week and not gain a single ounce of weight. Last but not least, Applejack's and Rarity's snoring that could wake the dead.

Still half asleep, I raised my feet and migrated them to the edge of the bed, using my knees as leverage for my hands as I stood up. I began to stretch out, bellowing what sounded like a pride of lions roaring from the bottom of my throat while earning a satisfying series of cracks and pops throughout my body. I yawned, sliding my hand underneath my boxers, scratching an irritable itch on one of my backup singers as I lumbered my way into the kitchen. I switched up a brew of tea on the stove, setting it at a low temperature so it would slowly brew while I prepared myself for the day.

I began to lightly whisper a song while starting up the shower.  I walked back to my room, yanking my toothbrush from a small plastic container I kept it in that rested on my dresser. I lined out some toothpaste onto my brush, cleansing my teeth of plaque that built up overnight as well as freshening my morning breath. After rinsing my mouth out with water, I shrugged off my boxers and tossed them into the hamper. Like usual, I bathed in cold water; my body was like a massive reactor, I generated heat out the wild zoo, and each morning when I woke up I was radiating an uncomfortable amount of warmth.

Having finished my shower, I walked out dressed only in a towel, entering the kitchen where my freshly brewed tea awaited me. I poured myself a glass, mixing in some sugar-cubes and a small ounce of milk; it was complete. I inhaled the scent of my green mint tea, smiling softly as my nostrils tingled with pleasant sensations, thanking me for have inhaled such a wondrous scent. I exhaled softly, taking a long sip of my morning tea with gusto. I let out a pleasant sigh, gazing out the window at the beautiful scene of Celestia's sun rising over the clouds of the golden rich horizon.

"Goodmorning Sunshine!" I heard a sudden loud and boisterous voice boom into my ears.

"FUCK BUCKET!" I cried out, throwing my tea in the air, causing the hot liquid to spill onto my head.

Before I could release a cry of pain from the hot liquid, the cup I was holding crashed down onto my head, smashing to smithereens. I held onto my head, groaning in pain, stumbling around before I could feel two sets of slithering fingers latch onto my towel. I glanced up from my hunched posture, noticing who it was that stood so blatantly prideful of her crude jump-scare, an evil smile perched on her cyan hued lips.

"Aw, sorry about that, here let me clean it up with this towel~" Rainbow Dash spoke with a sinister chuckle.

"Don't. You. Dare..." I spoke in a low growl, narrowing my eyes at the rainbow-maned troublemaker.

"Oh, I dare!" she replied with a tenacious smirk, jerking her grip backward, ripping my towel right off my waist.

"DASH!" I yelped, glaring at her while attempting to cover my groin area.

"Nice package, does it come with free shipping and handling~?" Rainbow Dash teasingly remarked, causing my face to light up with both rage and embarrassment.

"Oh... My..." I heard Fluttershy's voice softly drift into my ears before I could make a comeback at that snide little cyan pegasus.

I glanced over, noticing Fluttershy's timid posture standing ever so meekly behind the door to her room, her cyan eyes locked firmly down south, observing my south pole with a face hued a pure shade of crimson. I quickly grabbed a plate from the dry-rack by the sink, covering what I could of myself as I desperately tried to get my towel back.

"Come on, Dash, this isn't funny!" I growled, trying to yank back my towel while holding what little decency I had in my other hand.

"Nope~" she grinned, flapping her wings, hovering above me as I now leaped, trying to obtain my towel from her.

"Give it back!" I growled with even more fury,  glancing between the towel in Rainbow Dash's grip, and the cream colored mare that had now retreated back into her room with a firm slam of her door.

"Make me~!" Rainbow Dash chuckled, sticking her tongue out.

I then noticed that Dash was only wearing her cut-off yoga shorts that reached about five inches from her crotch to her mid-thighs, and an athletic bra that held her decently sized cleavage firmly to prevent excessive motion of her breasts. It only made my situation worse, I could feel tension rising down in the south pole, so I did something extremely desperate. I winded back my fist, then thrusted it forward, landing a light jab that impacted her crotch, which caused her to gasp, blushing a dark shade of crimson as she fell to the ground holding her hands between her legs.

I quickly grasped my towel, wrapping it around my waist hastily, returning my gaze to the cyan troublemaker who was now on the ground holding her crotch with a dark crimson shade flashing across her muzzle. She gritted her teeth, glaring daggers up at me. Before I could react, Rainbow Dash jolted to her feet, darting forward with a powerful thrust of her wings, tackling me across the room.

Me and Dash would occasionally rough house, we were both acceptionally good athletes, Dash more than I in my honest opinion. Sure, I was a big guy, and I also was a member of a small wrestling club near the outskirts of Ponyville. But Dash, she was a professional athlete in my eyes; she could run faster than any human, she could fly faster than any pegasus, she could leap, she could climb, she could pretty much do anything better than anyone. Despite the wide variety of amazing athletes that Dash could compete with, she chooses to compete with me, I think she does it just to annoy the living shit out of me.

I let out a groan as Dash tackled me into the wall, knocking down a few picture frames. I retaliated by grappling her around the waist, performing a half-assed German Suplex, throwing her onto the couch. She let out a yelp, tumbling over the couch, knocking it over with a loud thud. I quickly turned around, facing the cyan mare as she bounded onto her feet with the aid of her wings, locking eyes with me. I got myself into a defensive stance, using one hand to hold onto my towel while using the other to defend my vital areas.

"What in tarnation is going on!?" Applejack exclaimed, bursting through the door.

While my attention was directed at Applejack, Rainbow Dash dive-bombed me, tackling me through the patio's screen door, causing me to lose my balance and fall of the edge. I let out a panicked yell as I plummeted off the edge, I thought I was dead until I felt a painful sting pulsate throughout my entire back, followed by a deafening slap. I was soon enveloped in water, having fallen off the second story into the pool behind the house. I groaned in pain, whimpering slightly as I rose from the water, climbing the steps leading to the wet concrete surrounding the pool.

"Holy crap! Walter, are you ok--" before Rainbow Dash could complete her words, a sudden wide smirk formed across her lips.

"What on Celestia's green Equestria were you thinking, Rainbow Da--" Applejack cut herself off mid sentence, her eyes widening, a bright crimson blush flashing across her muzzle.

"What?" I called up, frowning as I crossed my arms.

"How's the breeze down there, Walt?" Rainbow Dash snickered, perking a brow as her eyes looked me up and down.

I blinked, looking down in confusion. My heart stopped beating in the small moment I realized that I was stark naked, standing in the open air with nothing but what I inherited from my father dangling in the wind. I quickly covered myself, diving back into the water, hiding beneath the surface for a long period of time, or at least until Applejack threw me down another towel.