Pinkie, The "Professional" Stuntmare

by Nova Arcanum

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random, Alternate Universe
Length: 1027

Pinkie Pie - Premier Ponyville Party Planner, professional foalsitter, prankster, and spreader of smiles. She wants to add a new title to that list - the daringest darepony to ever dare. This can only end well...

My name is Pinkie Pie - I love cake, smiles, parties, foalsitting, planning parties, making ponies smile, and spreading joy and happiness. Thing is, Ponyville is, as I am sad to say, is getting quite boring with the goings on lately; I aim to change this, by performing stunts all over Ponyville and beyond. Some will be extreme, insane, and insanely dumb, while others will just be plain old stupid. Hopefully, somepony will find these stunts funny enough to launch a tv series that will take off and entertain ponies all over Equestria.

Collab project with my girlfriend, PinkieMelonPie

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-28 20:40:04 UTC

First Stunt: The Super Duper, Over The Top Loooooong Jump

Twilight stood a good ways away from Pinkie Pie and her contraption, camera held in her magic as she recorded, "Pinkie, I don't think this is such a good idea," Twilight said as she shook her head at the crazy pink mare; she was being ignored as Pinkie kept adjusting the catapult, until it was set with the right trajectory and wouldn't  overshoot the target - a single size memory foam mattress.

"If you don't think it's such a good idea, then why are you still filming instead of stopping me," Pinkie questioned Twilight.

Purple Smart replied, "I'm taping this as proof of what happened when we eventually have to take a trip to the hospital so the staff believe us. There's crazy, there's stupid, and then there's this - which is just nuts." Most ponies paid the two no mind, as they were used to Pinkie acting crazy, though today was a little different, as she wanted to start doing stunts, and post the videos onto LuTube, in the hopes that some ponies would find the stunt amusing.

Just a few seconds later, Pinkie gave the all-clear to Twilight, who had the unfortunate task of pulling the lever to launch her friend, most likely to her doom. Thing was, there is no saying "no" to Pinkie Pie, like ever. So, Twilight put up with it, and reluctantly pulled the lever, which launched Pinkie about one hundred feet up into the air, and several hundred feet across the town. Her duty fulfilled, Twilight kept the camera rolling, and used a friction reduction spell mixed with a propulsion to push herself really fast to the target as she tried to keep the camera oriented on her pink friend. Said friend sounded like she was having a riot, laughing and wailing all the way from the launch site, to the mattress that awaited her..... Twilight's mattress. She grumbled something under her breath, probably cursing herself at being the only one of her friends that had a memory foam mattress.

Pinkie descended, and crashed right into the mattress; even though it was a memory foam mattress, that all by itself would not save her. Luckily for Pinkie, she had an excess of earth pony magic, which contributed to her coming out of the stunt unscathed. Soon as she crashed into the mattress, she bounced off her back, and landed on her hooves on the dirt path about five feet away. Twilight let her shock be known, and other ponies who stood by and watched applauded the crazy mare's success at the stunt; it filled her with pride, though that's not what she was high on.... No, Pinkie was high on the adrenaline from the stunt, and she continuously thought of some more stunts that she could perform for the audience which awaited her on LuTube, and the rest of the Canternet...

Aftermath - First Stunt, and a New Challenge...

Rainbow Dash was bored. "Bored, bored, bored! Ugh, there's nothing to do but nap, and I'm not even tired!" She raged, upset at the fact that there wasn't any work for her to do, no one needed her, she wasn't tired, and there weren't any new Daring Doo books that have come out for her to read. Truly, this would be the worst Thursday of her life. She resorted to doing the one thing that most ponies do when they're bored: check their emails on the computer.

"Junk, junk, don't know that guy, junk. Heyo, what's this? 'The Super Duper Over The Top Looooooong Jump?' Wait, that's from Twilight? But she never sends me anything unless it's to remind me a new Daring Doo book came out or something. Alright, I gotta see this..."

Rainbow clicked on the link in the email, and was greeted with a video page on the new site, LuTube. It showed Pinkie Pie as she fiddled with what looked like a catapult. She heard Twilight speak, "Pinkie, I don't think this is such a good idea."

Pinkie just continued to fiddle with the contraption as she replied, "If you don't think it's a good idea, then why are you still taping instead of stopping me?"

That was a good question, Rainbow figured, since Twilight wouldn't really let somepony do something so reckless as catapult themselves across town.... Would she?

Pinkie came up to the camera, "Hey, my name is Pinkie Pie, and this is the Super Duper Over The Top Loooooong Jump. This here catapult," she pointed to it with her hooves, "is going to launch me about one hundred feet into the air, and several hundred feet across town; the target is a single memory foam mattress, which was so graciously donated for this stunt by Princess Sparkle over here, who's working the camera."

After some final adjustments, Pinkie got into the loading compartment, and gave Twilight the all clear. Twilight pulled the leaver, and then chased after Pinkie Pie as she sailed through the air. A few seconds later, she bounced harmlessly off the mattress, and landed on the ground five feet away. Rainbow could not believe her eyes, she was dumbfounded. No words could express the sheer stupidity and awesomeness that she saw. Rainbow had to leave a comment.

'Awesome stunt!! Can't believe you landed that and didn't get even a scratch on you! Five out of four hooves up!'

Rainbow Dash then promptly shared the video with all her friends and co-workers from the weather team, Spitfire, Soarin, and Holly Dash. Surely they would get a kick out of the video, she'd bet bits on that. Rainbow was about to close her browser window, when she got an email from Pinkie.

"'World's hottest pepper challenge, you in?' Heck yeah, I'm in! Oh, I'm talking to myself again, gotta stop that.......... CELESTIA DAMMIT I DID IT AGAIN! UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Rainbow, frustrated with herself at the moment, gave a short positive reply to her friend's email, and said that she was in. It would take place the day after tomorrow, and Rainbow would make sure that she was free for that, no matter what...