My Fair Draconequus

by JLBDreamer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Fluttershy, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 11070

Discord has to prove that he’s reformed by behaving himself at the New Era Gala. Its up to Fluttershy, Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six to make sure he’s ready but is the task impossible for the Lord of Chaos?

Discord has to prove that he’s reformed by behaving himself at the New Era Gala. Its up to Fluttershy, Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six to make sure he’s ready but is the task impossible for the Lord of Chaos?

This takes place after the events in Twilight’s Kingdom and explores just how reformed Discord is capable of being.

This story is on a brief haitus while I finish some real-life things. For more details click here.

Note: This story is based on a play from the early 20th century called Pygmalion exploring the concept of creating or making over someone to fit into a society they are not originally from. I love Discord and thought it would be fun to put him in the hot seat with the Mane Six being his tutors to try and teach him how to behave in an event. Fluttershy, of course, and Twilight will be the main tutors on the journey. It will include some parodies of songs from the musical version of Pygmalion (My Fair Lady).

Published 2014-12-13 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-30 08:06:45 UTC

Prologue

Princesses Celestia and Luna sat enjoying a lovely spread of cakes and tea in the royal dining room discussing nothing in particular. It wasn’t very often that they were able to afford merely enjoying each other’s company in peace and calm.

“Luna, the lunar eclipse is scheduled soon, isn’t it?” the elder alicorn princess asked serenely sipping the last of the liquid from her levitating cup.

“Yes, we plan to make it a magnificent spectacle to celebrate the new era of calm and unity we are entering.”

Celestia nodded noticing the levitating tea pot, that she distinctly remembered neither she or her sister touching with magic in the last few minutes, refilling her drained cup from the corner of her eye. She decided to ignore it for the time being and addressed her sister once again. “I was considering holding a gala that night with your eclipse as the main event. After the recent troubles Equestria has faced it will help to lift everypony’s spirits. What do you think?” She turned to her sister only to see a bemused expression on her face which no doubt had to do with the familiar chaotic energy she noticed winking into the room.

“Oh I think it’s a sappy idea,” Discord said levitating a cup and saucer to his place at the table “but you ponies love your galas.” He pretended to ignore the two princesses, Celestia’s surprised and Luna’s disapproving glares were priceless but he knew how Luna hated being ignored, as he levitated the teapot to fill his own cup.

“What is thou doing here Discord?” the night princess demanded in a loud imperious tone.

“What does it look like? I’m here to enjoy a cup of tea with friends of course,” he said mirthfully downing both the tea and the vessel that held it in one gulp. “You know the perfumed aroma of this tea is very good. I didn’t used to get the whole tea party thing but Fluttershy finds some interesting brews and it opens the way for meaningful conversation. Another cup ladies?”

When fresh steaming cups appeared out of thin air in front of the three occupants of the table the atmosphere, to the Draconequus’ delight, became equal parts awkward and tense.

“I was meaning to spend some quality time with Luna so unless you have another reason to be here Discord…” Celestia began before Discord rose abruptly from the table pounding his eagle talon upon it cutting her short.

“You know you really know how to make somepony feel unwanted. I was behaving myself too. I could have given the cups and saucers legs or made it rain tea from cows. Oh wait! I still can!” Discord cracked his knuckles dramatically and ended pressing his palms together with glee. “What should I do first?” he chuckled insanely as the teapot on the table suddenly grew a horn and mane from the curve in its spout, a pair of wings from its sides and a tail replaced the handle. “Oh look it’s the newest alicorn princess. Just look at how delicate and refined her porcelain complexion is!” He finished his masterpiece giving it four legs and a tea party themed cutie mark. “It’s the Princess of Tea and Conversation!” The teapot began flying freely around the room.

The elder alicorn quelled her unease because she had learned it was the best way to deal with the chaotic beast currently baiting she and Luna for the sake of his own amusement.

“I appreciate you are extending your paw in friendship but a little notice before you decide to join us is the considerate thing to do,” she said patiently while ducking as the Princess of Tea and Conversation buzzed her from above.

Luna, who couldn’t understand her sister’s ridiculous quest to reform the Lord of Chaos, decided to take a different tactic. “Discord thee cannot materialize in and out of any room in the palace unannounced as you please. Stop your foolish antics at once!”

Discord was really starting to tire of the pony royal family’s lectures. It had been bad enough that Celestia had summoned him constantly to complete tasks attempting to teach him what she thought were valuable lessons before the Tirek incident but now that she had clipped his wings and wanted him to stay on the castle grounds until she felt he’d learned his lesson he really was loosing his patience. At first he’d been happy to stay inside and do as ordered. He thought it wouldn’t be long before they saw how serious he was about reforming this time, but now that 3 months had passed his pent up energy was broiling with disquiet. Its not that he didn’t understand Celestia not trusting him at first but her continued skepticism was not warranted. Luna, for pony’s sake, was almost hostile even when he’d tried lightening her mood with a few harmless tricks.

“Luna,” he said with a grin appearing next to her chair “I certainly can appear wherever I want in the castle as I have proven just now. Of course if you meant I shouldn’t you probably are correct. Yes, yes glower all you want miss archaic moon princess but you know I’m right.” He next appeared next to the sun princess. “Celestia, I thought you inviting me to stay in the castle was a sign of your trust and friendship, but now you ponies are telling me I’m not welcome in your presence. I guess I was wrong.” He snapped his claws and the teapot became a normal vessel again and plummeted crashing to the table shattering. Take that Celestia. I hate how you insist I’m your guest when it’s obvious you actually intend to keep me prisoner.

“Discord you are welcome to join us in activities on the condition, the same that all must observe, that you follow our rules of conduct,” Celestia stated raising a hoof to stop her sister from an outburst. “You must either be invited or ask permission first.”

“Rules!” he mimed a gagging reflex. “Chaos doesn’t follow rules or set appointments.” The teacups he had previously materialized vanished as he snapped his claws.

“Thou were wrong to welcome this creature Celestia. He doesn’t belong here. He will never truly reform.” Luna stood preparing to exit the room as Discord stuck his tongue out at her.

“Luna,” the older alicorn said in a gentle tone “all indications from his recent actions show that he has turned over a new leaf. Surely he deserves the opportunity for a fresh start just as you did?”

Celestia then turned her gaze to the chaotic being watching their argument with an unmistakable glint in his eye as he floated in mid-air with his legs crossed and one talon resting on his chin. Oh, of course you are enjoying the fact you’ve caused a slight confrontation between us but I’ve lived long enough to understand your head games. “Discord surely you understand friendship means respecting each other’s boundaries?”

“Well yes,” he said flopping his ears down slightly “I do know I must do that. I am respecting that. If I didn’t I’d have us having a tea party on the ceiling. You don’t give me any credit at all Celestia.”

The night princess frowned. “Thee must earn respect and trust. This must not be surprising after thy recent betrayal.”

“That again! Are you going to keep bringing that up?” the Draconequus said empathically. “Its in the past. I mean, even Fluttershy has forgiven me and since she was really my only true friend at the time she’s the only one that has the right to be mad about it.”

“It was only 3 months ago that is not a long time,” Luna insisted.

Discord’s eyes flashed dangerously as he materialized a calendar that floated inches from the night princess’ nose. It had a large red circle around a date labeled ‘Tirek’s Defeat” on the page indicating it was exactly three months ago. “Regardless, it’s in the past Luna, as in, not the present!” To emphasize the point all of the calendar days were magically crossed-off one by one and the pages unfurled through each month with a flourish that he deliberately made sure brushed the alicorn’s nose.

Celestia tried not to sigh in exasperation but only partly succeeded. She had come to understand over the last few months that despite him truly trying to reform Discord would always be unpredictable and try to push ponies over the edge in some fashion. She couldn’t truly blame him for that was his nature and she had been keeping him on a tight leash lately. “Discord is trying his best Luna. Change takes time.”

“Ha you see Luna! Celestia understands me! I knew I didn’t waste that bouquet of flowers.” He found himself smiling just a little bit for some unknown reason. “Not that I really care what you think of me Celestia,” he hurriedly added trying more to convince himself than anypony else he really hadn’t changed all that much.

“Discord,” Celestia addressed the Draconequus “you must continue to make changes and over time more will accept you. Once we are certain of your rehabilitation you will be given the freedom you desire.”

“Time-Schime,” Discord grumbled pulling away from the princess “nobody ever notices when I’m good. They only notice when I’m causing chaos.”

The older alicorn’s eyes shined for a moment. “Then I’ll give you a chance to show what you’ve learned to the best in Equestria. Discord you are hereby invited to the New Era Gala. What better opportunity could you find to show you have entered a new cycle in your life than to celebrate a new cycle of nature?”

Discord stood slack-jawed in shock taking a moment to recover. “You want me to go to your little ball?” A neon question mark appeared over his head.

“Sister that is not wise. I doubt the Draconequus, even on his best behavior, could not disrupt the festivities.”

“I can too behave Luna!”

“Doubtful…”

“What do you want to bet? Hmm…” he practically hissed.

“A bet?” Celestia was only partly surprised he wanted to turn her olive branch into a game.

“We do not bet.” Luna snapped. “It is beneath us.”

“Not even if say….” Discord said scratching his chin in midair before he brightened and declared, “what about if I promise never to set hoof, talon or paw in your wing of the castle ever again if I cause one teensy-weensy mishap at your Gala?”

Celestia smiled. “What do you say Luna? I think it’s a good idea.”

“What doest thou mean sister?”

“I think it would be an excellent motivator for him to make changes and I know his offer must be a little tempting even for you.”

“Very well,” the moon princess said “if you succeed I will never again complain if you materialize without notice in any room in the castle.”

“It’s a deal Luna. “

Celestia could see by Discord’s body language he was still unhappy. “Discord, I hereby allow you to leave the castle grounds to seek out the help you need to learn what you must do to meet your goal.”

Though he was satisfied he’d made a small victory Discord still felt unbearably restless so her statement was a great relief.

“See you all at the Gala then. Ta ta!”

The two sisters stared at the spot the chaotic being once occupied in silence.

“Well this should be interesting,” Celestia said with a good-natured laugh.

***

Fluttershy worriedly skidded to a halt in the middle of the meadow glancing around the clearing. “Oh Angel…” she sighed. “I’m so very sorry but you must take your medicine. Please come out!”

Seeing a rustle in the bushes the mare rushed over and gently pulled the branches apart. She gulped seeing a pair of red eyes staring back at her through the dark hole.

“Hello Fluttershy!”

“Eep!” she cried falling back covering her eyes with her hooves.

The owner of the crimson eyes, which were now their normal yellow and red combination, suddenly appeared hanging over her dangling an angry Angel Bunny by his ears. “Is this what you were looking for?”

“Discord?” the Pegasus asked timidly peeking out between her hooves.

“The one and only,” he said proudly with a wink. “Now where do I put this bunny? In a cage, a trap or a stew pot?”

Angel bunny chattered angrily at the Draconequus swinging futilely at the paw that held him aloft.

“Angel that’s not nice! Discord was just joking,” Fluttershy said fluttering up to the proper height to look the rabbit in the eyes. At least I hope he was. She really hated the fact that her best animal friend and best friend couldn’t get along.

“Ah you know me so well, Flutters dear.”

“You can let him go Discord,” the mare said in a sad tone.

Discord shrugged and released the bunny that was promptly caught mid-fall by the hovering pony.

“Now look at all the trouble you’ve caused,” she scolded the rabbit flying into the house with her charge.

Discord sighed knowing it was better to wait for the pony to finish whatever she was doing and poofed himself to her couch. He was hoping for a warmer reception from Fluttershy. Why, she hasn’t even offered me a hug.

“Now just take your medicine Sweetie, like a good bunny,” she crooned setting him on her coffee table and then filling a teaspoon with a greenish looking liquid.

Angel bunny screwed up his face, turned his head to the side, and crossed his forelegs over his chest. Discord cleared his throat causing both pony and rabbit to look in his direction. “Do as Fluttershy says pipsqueak,” he said leaning back in the couch drumming his fingers and smirking menacingly “unless you’d rather your ears be replaced with horns.”

Fluttershy shot Discord a disapproving look but didn’t complain because Angel grabbed the spoon from her and took his medicine before running off.

“It’s been awhile Fluttershy my dear,” Discord said with a grin reclining on the sofa. “Three months since I’ve popped in on you, if I’m not mistaken?" Discord of course knew full well how long it had been but he didn’t want to sound like he’d missed the yellow Pegasus as much as he had.

“Well,” she started averting her eyes as her voice trailed off gradually, “I-I wasn’t expecting you to visit too often.” The truth was that for Fluttershy the last three months had been miserable. While her other friends seemed to have put the whole ordeal with Tirek behind them she’d found herself haunted by Discord’s betrayal. Her chest tightened just thinking about it and the doubts that she’d been trying to ignore began bubbling up to the surface now that Discord had finally visited her.

“Well the Princesses are watching my every move and I didn’t want to take liberties and impose on you.” Discord was somewhat upset she wouldn’t look at him. She was acting almost like she used to, before their countless letters, picnics, tea parties and adventures and he felt a knot in his stomach begin to form. “Are you upset with me?”

“Its just…” she started before hiding behind her mane and starting to sniffle.

At that moment Discord was resolved to do whatever he had to do win her confidence back. “Let’s deal with the Ursa Major in the room, shall we? You still don’t trust me even though you said you forgave me.”

The yellow Pegasus cringed. “Its not that so much. Its just hard to feel so close to you, like I used to, I’m sorry.”

Discord felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest as the liquid drops that had been gathering in her eyes slowly began to leak down her cheeks. Instantly he transported beside her snaking his body around and tipping her face to look up at his with a single talon.

“Look Fluttershy I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. When I said your friendship wasn’t enough I didn’t mean you were lacking. I meant I thought I wanted what I used to have. You do know I used to rule Equestria?” She nodded as he released her chin. “Well I thought if I had a choice between friendship and ruling again I’d rather have the power but I was wrong.” He found the pony’s lack of response disturbing. “I found when I was betrayed I wasn’t really as upset about loosing my power, it was the betrayal. So I know how you feel.”

“You-you think so?” Fluttershy asked softly.

“Yes I do.”

“Well you don’t.”

“Fluttershy….” Discord began nervously “my dearest friend…”

“Don’t you ‘my dearest’ or ‘my friend” me Mister!” she popped up flapping inches from his face. “After all the time I spent on tea parties and letters! I never complained when you suddenly popped in and scared me half to death! I never complained when you rearranged the animal houses or made my furniture come to life.” Discord cringed. “I never complained because I thought you were my friend!”

“You were… you are!”

“Then why did you ignore me for three months after I forgave you for trying to take over Equestria?” The Pegasus sank down to the floor and the flood of tears she’d been holding back burst forth.

“No don’t cry Fluttershy," he begged in defeat. “I-I’m sorry. I know I really messed up this time. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to see me ever again but I really don’t want that to be the case. Your friendship means more to me than anypony’s.”

“Really?”

The Draconequus thought a moment. Though it was distasteful he had to swallow his pride if he wanted to be back in the pony’s good graces. The single bouquet had worked well on Celestia but he had to make sure Fluttershy forgave him. He snapped his fingers and the house was filled with flowers. The pony lifted her head and blinked at the apologetic display in surprise.

“Fluttershy I wasn’t sure if you’d welcome me back. I missed you. You are the best friend I’ve ever had.” He bit his lip uncomfortably. He was the Lord of Chaos for crying out loud so why was he willing to grovel just to win back one tiny, yellow Pegasus' friendship?

“All I wanted was a genuine apology,” Fluttershy said with a gentle smile and a gentle hoof on his arm.

“So you forgive me?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

The Draconequus swept the pony up into a joyously fierce hug. “Oh I knew it! That’s why you are my favorite pony of anypony in Equestria Fluttershy!”

“I…can’t...breath…” Fluttershy gasped.

He loosened his grip, without dropping her, with a slight blush and cleared his throat while looking away trying to hide it. He’d shown her far too much vulnerability already.

“So now that we’ve made up how about you help me with a teensy little bet I made with Princess Luna?” He asked when he had recovered his composure.

“What?” she asked leaning back to better see his face.

“She bet me that I couldn’t behave myself during a boring party their royal stuffinesses are planning.”

“Oh my…” Fluttershy said. She tried to picture the Draconequus at an event like the Grand Galloping Gala and he just didn’t seem to fit.

“I’m sure I can manage with a little bit of help from you, my dear, sweet Fluttershy.” He said smoothly batting his eyes while extending his lashes for greater effect.

“Well I don’t know a lot about royal manners. Maybe Twilight would be better, or Rarity, they know a lot more than I do when it comes to balls and fancy parties.”

“Twilight lectures me almost as much as Celestia and well, I’m not so sure the others like me very much.”

“I could go with you to talk to them, if you like.”

“I insist you do. “ He informed her.

“How about some tea while you tell me all about it?"

“I thought you’d never offer darling Fluttershy.” The Draconequus returned her sincere smile with one of his own feeling truly content for the first time in three months. The pony that he still cradled in his arms threw her front legs around his neck and hugged him. He really couldn’t understand why this particular equine made him feel so warm and fuzzy inside with her attention and affection. What he was certain of was their bond hadn’t yet been broken beyond repair and that made him a very happy Lord of Chaos.

Author's Note

This is my first MLP Fanfiction. My first fic in a long while, period, and its exciting to get back to sharing with a fandom I enjoy! Constructive criticism and questions are welcome. This will be a six part series and updates will be about once a week.

** Edit 2-15-14- I found a few errors a spot or two I thought I could improve the sentence structure and word use over the last few days so I've made some small revisions. I'm sort of a chronic reviser and often do this. I suppose I'm a bit of a perfectionist. lol.

Chapter 1: Twilight Sparkle's Lesson on Etiquette

Author's Note

This chapter will contain the first song parody I’m including. Right before the song starts I will put a link that says, “Click here if you want to hear the music” so that you can actually play the melody while reading the words here

In case you are wondering, all of the lyrics, including Discord’s, relate to ideas I had for just what went on during Discord and Fluttershy’s get-togethers, which I am tempted to write as a series of one-shots.

If you are wondering why I state Flutters and Discord have their picnics and tea parties once a month and they involve adventures I got them from a MLP comic. It is revealed that they get together once a month and write letters in between. Discord also mentions they’ve had adventures together before he takes Fluttershy and the Cutie Mark Crusaders on a field trip through time to see extinct animals. I have linked a slideshow version of the comic I found on my author page if you want to check it out.

I hope you enjoy this chapter including the song and the 4th wall break.

Chapter 1: Twilight Sparkle's Lesson on Etiquette

Fluttershy and Discord stood in front of Twilight’s Castle. The Draconequus was getting cold feet, his appendages weren’t covered in ice, but the whole idea of asking Twilight Sparkle, of all ponies, for help wasn’t something he liked doing. It was different with the whole ‘blue flu’ because he didn’t really need help and was actually doing it to help her learn about friendship from an angle she hadn’t considered for the element bearers quest. I only was helpful at the time because I was tired of hearing Celestia complain to her sister about how slow her student was on the uptake. The whole ‘ponies must figure out their talents for themselves’ thing is so stupid. Also, I had Fluttershy insisting at the time I make more friends and Twilight Sparkle seemed the most logical choice. This time though I just know she’ll be very snotty thinking it means she’s special or some such nonsense.

“Discord?” Fluttershy called poking him with her hoof.

“Hmm?”

“Are you nervous? You shouldn’t be. I’m sure she will help.”

“Of course she will. Once its presented in the right way she will. Twilight’s probably the most oblivious and yet smartest pony I’ve ever met however she’s not selfish enough to turn away anyone in need of help.” Discord grumbled.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Fluttershy’s teal eyes reflected the confusion racing about in her mind so Discord decided to elaborate.

“I still can’t believe she didn’t understand her special gift needed friendship to reach its potential when she’s the element of magic. You ponies are always going on about how friendship is magic. Hello? How much clearer does it have to get?”

“Oh! That’s why she can be both the element of magic and Princess of Friendship!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

The Draconequus sighed. Its so hard being a superior, god-like being amongst these mortals but I suppose I must get used to these situations if I'm to have friends. “So you didn’t get it either? Maybe wanton obliviousness is a pony trait?”

“Its saying things like that which make it hard for you to make friends.” Fluttershy was glaring at him so he knew now it was best to change the subject.

“I wouldn’t worry Fluttershy,” Discord stated “Twilight Sparkle and I have come to an understanding. Perhaps she doesn’t want to be bosom buddies with me but I think she’s at least accepted me as an acquaintance.”

“Discord, I think that you should let me do the talking,” said Fluttershy. “You have a way of… well…”

“Annoying Twilight Sparkle with just my mere presence?” the Draconequus interrupted. “Even more so when I regale her with my eons of unparalleled wit and charm?”

“Something like that,” his pony friend answered eyeing him a bit skeptically. I shouldn’t worry because I’m sure he now knows what being a friend is. I know for sure Twilight is at least grateful to him for giving her the necklace that became her key. Fluttershy realized she was considering these things too long when Discord suddenly picked her up and, after a disconcerting flash of light, she and the Draconequus were in what obviously was the makings of a new library inside the castle.

“Discord we should have knocked at the door. It’s the polite thing to do.” Fluttershy sighed more nervous than before about teaching the Lord of Chaos manners.

“If I’d wanted to be rude I would’ve popped right into where I sense she is right now.”

“Its more polite to wait outside until you’re invited in though.” Fluttershy stated. “You won’t be able to just pop into the castle the night of the Gala if you want to win your bet.”

A shattering sound made them turn to see Spike with a bewildered expression and the remains of a tray containing what must have been Twilight’s breakfast on the ground.

“Spike, my good dragon, could you perhaps point us in the direction of Twilight Sparkle? Hmm?” Discord requested.

“Uh… sure,” the dragon said absently before looking at the mess at his feet and sighing tremendously. “Now I have to remake Twilight’s breakfast.”

Fluttershy gave Discord a significant look, a look that he knew quite well because he saw it at least once every time he was in her company, so he snapped his claws instantly restoring the breakfast.

“Now what do we say Discord?” Fluttershy demanded.

“I’m sorry.” He grumbled under his breath.

“I don’t think Spike could hear you,” the pony prodded.

“Oh for chaos’ sake…” he intoned peevishly before setting Fluttershy down and bowing to the small purple drake. “I’m sorry that I startled you with my magnificent powers by appearing in your abode without notice making you drop your so carefully prepared repast.”

“Um, apology accepted,” Spike, said uneasily. “I guess I’ll tell Twilight that you’re here. Wait here.”

If there was one word in all of the cosmos that the Draconequus hated it was wait. This was followed closely by patience. What need was there for patience when he could instantaneously have whatever he wanted with a snap of his claws? An entire minute had gone by when Discord yawned.

Fluttershy watched as Discord went through his usual twists and shapes in the air. It used to astonish her how quickly he got bored and that was usually when he would materialize something, make a joke or pester somepony. She was about to distract him when he spied a pile of books on the floor and levitated one over to his paw noting its title with a grin.

“Oh this has got to be good.” Discord chuckled stroking his beard and balancing on his tail while he opened it thumbing through the pages.

Happy that her best friend had found a nondestructive way to entertain him Fluttershy decided to follow suit and looked at the titles in a stack near where she stood. It wasn’t long after that when Equestria’s newest alicorn princess trotted into the room.

“Hello there. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you but I’ve been unpacking all of the replacement books Celestia sent me and there’s nopony here but Spike and I.” Twilight stopped in her tracks when she heard the ruckus laughter coming from the other side of the room.

Discord was gripping his stomach laughing uproariously while magically spinning one of Twilight’s precious books end over end in the air. Horrified she sprung into action snatching the book while glaring at the Draconequus. Looking at the title while she placed it back into a sorting stack she frowned. “What is so funny about mythology?”

“I suppose it’s the sort of thing you had to be there to understand.” Discord wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “Now for the matter at hand.”

“Yes Twilight,” Fluttershy said speaking up for the first time since the alicorn had entered the room. “We need your help. That is, if you aren’t too busy we would appreciate it ever so much.”

“Long story short, I need to know how to get along at a Gala thrown by your illustrious teacher and you, dear Twilight, are just the pony to transform my already handsome self into the sensation of the event.” He approached her snapping his claws creating a school desk for himself, a blackboard that appeared behind Twilight, Spike found himself in the corner of the room on a stool with a dunce cap donning his head and Fluttershy found herself in a desk next to the Draconequus.

“So let me get this straight,” Twilight began with a quizzical expression. “You want me to teach you how to behave at a royal gala?”

“Why in Equestria would you want to go to a gala?” concurred Spike climbing down off of the stool and trying to remove the hat that seemed glued to his head.

Fluttershy helpfully raised her hoof and spoke up. “Discord made a bet with Princess Luna that he could behave perfectly and make no chaos for the whole event. I didn’t really know how to help so I thought we should come see you. You were Princess Celestia’s star pupil and are a Princess yourself now after all.”

“Oh I see,” Twilight, said thinking a moment. “The only thing is that I was hoping to get all of these books filed away today.”

“Ouch!” Spike shouted finally removing the hat with a strong tug and falling over into one of the sorting stacks.

“As you can see I have a lot to sort still and now resort.” Twilight shook her head in dismay.

The Draconequus impatiently snapped his claws and every book on the floor flew up to a place up on the shelf including the stack underneath Spike leaving the baby dragon to fall to the floor. “They are all filed by author title and genre Twilight Sparkle, so teach away since now you have nothing better to do.”

Twilight wasn’t sure if she wanted to hyperventilate about having had just lost absolute control over the library shelving system or that Discord had actually done something completely helpful with his magic without prompting.

Fluttershy was about to try to and smooth things over but she was surprised when it was Spike that spoke up first.

“Wow Twilight he saved us a lot of work!” he exclaimed happily. “Maybe you really are one of the good guys now Discord!”

Discord rolled his eyes in response.

“Yes, thanks.” Twilight said while mentally noting where she had stopped so she could check the ordering of the books over for mistakes later. “I suppose this means I owe you something at least so I’d be happy to elaborate on proper manners and etiquette for you.”

“Oh thank you Twilight!” Fluttershy happily cried. “I’m really not the best when it comes to things like this and I was afraid you wouldn’t want to help Discord.”

“Why of course she wants help me out. That’s what friends do. Isn’t that right Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight glanced over at said chaotic spirit who was leaning his elbows on his desk grinning at her. Okay Twilight you can do this. He’s really not so bad when he’s not trying to take over Equestria and maybe helping him now will help him fit in more. That will be for everypony’s benefit. She turned to the blackboard with new resolve and began drawing a diagram. “The most important thing to remember is how to greet all of the Kingdom’s elite guests properly because if you impress them then they’ll definitely commend Celestia for your reform.”

“She is not responsible for my reform.” Discord was careful to put up both talon and paw drawing imaginary quotation marks in the air as he said reform.

Twilight tried not to show her irritation at the Draconequus’s flip remark. It was his lack of respect for her mentor that probably was the biggest impediment for her to really like him. “Princess Celestia was the one that assigned Fluttershy to work with you. It seemed illogical to most of us at the time with you being so, well, you and her being so shy. Celestia must have known that you two would get along so well it would work though so if you think about it you would probably still be a statue right now if it wasn’t for the Princess.”

“I’ve often wondered about why Sunbutt insisted it be Fluttershy.” Discord said with a mysterious smirk.

“You mean Celestia somehow knew we’d become best friends?” Fluttershy frowned thinking.

“I wouldn’t put it above her to cheat using an artifact or spell to divine things she feels are in her oh so beloved subjects best interests. She is quite capable of manipulating ponies. Of course she calls it guiding and teaching but in reality it isn’t all that much different to what I did with you all on the key hunt. Its helpful manipulation but manipulation none-the-less.”

This caused Equestria’s youngest alicorn to look at him thoughtfully. “Yeah, Discord. How much did you know about that box and the Rainbow Power? I got to thinking about that and I wondered how in Equestria you knew to mark those pages in the journal?” Twilight’s expression turned incredibly expectant without an ounce of the previous underlying malice.

“Oh yes Discord. We would never have found it without you.” Fluttershy smiled almost adoringly at him catching Discord off guard. It was strange how she innocently was able to keep him off-balance but it was one of the things he liked about the yellow Pegasus. After living thousands of years not much surprised him anymore but her genuine affection did do just that.

“Well my dears I am as old as the Tree of Harmony so I’ve picked up a few things over the centuries. Let’s leave it at that shall we? Everypony is entitled to some secrets after all.”

“Don’t mind him Twilight. He likes to be mysterious. It makes him feel important.” Fluttershy teased gently.

“I am important Fluttershy. What is harmony without chaos after all?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Fluttershy causing her to giggle.

The Draconequus indulged himself for a moment enjoying her mirth. He really did like the sound of her quiet laughter for some reason he really couldn’t put his talon on. Turning his head he glanced at Twilight Sparkle whom had a knowing expression on her face.

“What’s the matter Twilight Sparkle? Did I grow a second head?” Discord questioned actually growing said head and exploding it into confetti.

“No it’s just,” she said with a chuckle, “I can’t get over how well you two seem to get along.”

“Yes we’re very good friends,” said Fluttershy. “Best friends.”

“We have known each for quite awhile now and share some interesting memories.” Discord explained.

“I thought all you did was write letters to each other?” Spike wondered.

“We see each other about once a month,” Fluttershy said softly “and do something fun.”

(Click here if you want to hear the music while you read the song)

“What in Equestria do you find fun to do with Discord?” Spike asked.

“Picnics and tea,” Fluttershy said happily.

“Is that all?”

“Watch it kid. Don’t you know that anything involving me could never be boring?” Discord replied tersely.

”Here,” offered Fluttershy, “let me explain.”

Fluttershy (singing):

What we do is have lunch somewhere,
Picnics, tea in the open air.
Once with a hungry bear,
Oh, wasn't it so lovely?

Discord (singing):

Chocolate milk that’s not too sweet,
Cakes explode into confetti,
Marshmallows, cotton candy
Mm, it was quite lovely.

Fluttershy (singing):

Times just sitting in a soft breeze while birds sing sweet …

Discord (singing):

Giant pies drowning Griffins, in
A ton of rich chocolate cream.

Fluttershy (singing):

Someone's head resting on my knee,
Snoring loudly as he can be

Discord (singing):

On a comet going mach 3!
Dear with you it’s loverly.

“Loverly?” asked Twilight.

Discord (singing):
Loverly

“It sounds almost like you two are talking about two entirely different things,” remarked Twilight.

Fluttershy (singing):

Friendship means lots of compromise
Though sometimes I might fear demise.

Discord (singing):

Your open mind does surprise
Dear it’s quite lovely.

Fluttershy (singing):

Well most times your intent is sweet
Showing something I might find neat
It’s just the ponies we meet
Not all think your lovely

“They just can’t take a joke.” Quipped Discord.

Discord (singing):

It’s so lovely bending the dimensions to my will
But when it makes you smile its just so much the better still.

Fluttershy (singing):

Someone’s friendship to call my own
Whether home or when we roam.

Discord (singing):

Darling it’s simpatico.

Fluttershy and Discord (singing):

Dear with you its lovely.

“That’s a song that launched a thousand ships, right there…” Spike said to the air seemingly to no one in particuliar. Those present in the room all turned toward him confused and he just shrugged.

“Well there was that time we were on a ship with pirates.” Fluttershy said helpfully.

“Pirates!” Twilight exclaimed.

“It all worked out in the end so don’t look at me like that Twilight Sparkle. Besides, as wonderful as a walk down memory lane is there is a bet to be won.” Discord sat back in his desk his expression turned serious.

“I guess I got a little sidetracked,” Twilight said smiling to herself. “Alright let’s start with the proper way to act in the receiving line.”

*** 3 Hours Later ***

“So that’s all you need to know about proper introductions by title, kingdom, age and office.” Twilight Sparkle turned around triumphantly awaiting generous applause for her excellent teaching skills only to see her entire audience, Discord, Fluttershy and even Spike, sound asleep.

Before she could react a knock came on the front door. “Luckily the library is close to the front door...” she groused loudly hoping to disturb them and stomped off to answer it. “What do you want?” she inquired in an irritated growl.

“Are you okay sugar cube?” Apple Jack wondered.

“Oh AJ!” she said with a mortified stain on her cheeks. “Sorry, its not you. It’s Discord.”

“He’s here?”

“Yes he came asking for help and then had the nerve to fall asleep when I was answering his question. Even Spike and Fluttershy fell asleep. Can you believe it?”

The orange pony grinned uncomfortably. “Well Twi, no offence but ya can get a mite long-winded at times.”

“Ah the ever refreshing statements of Ms. Honesty!” A low voice declared before Discord popped in behind the mare.

“Sometimes you can be a little too honest Apple Jack,” Twilight chastised her friend with a self-conscious smile.

“So are you saying its okay to lie Twilight?” Discord asked with a smirk.

“NO!” both ponies shouted at him.

“Sheesh! You two are no fun.”

“Oh! Apple Jack!” greeted Spike peeking out in front of Twilight’s feet.

“Hello!” Fluttershy added peeking around the door.

Discord sniffed the air and reached over to open the country pony’s saddlebag.

“Hands off Discord! That is a housewarmin' gift from the Apple Family for Twilight!” Shouted the earth pony smacking Discord’s paw away.

“Stingy.” Discord accused petulantly giving his paw a shake.

“No actually she’s right. This is a good lesson for you Discord.” Twilight stated.

“Lesson?” The blonde haired mare queried.

“Yes! We’re teaching Discord manners so he can fit in at the New Era Gala.” Spike answered.

“Would you like to help?” Fluttershy added.

“Ah have to admit. It sounds like an interestin' challenge. Ya’ll told Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity yet? Ya know we’ll need every bit of help we can get to whip Discord into shape.”

“I concur! Let’s gather the rest of the element bearers! We start tomorrow!”

“Oh goody…” grumbled the Lord of Chaos as he looked into the grinning faces of the three ponies and dragon. I just hope this will be worth it in the end.

Chapter 2: Fittings and Side Splittings

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: Do as Twi Say, Not as Pie Do

Chapter 3: Do as Twi Say, Not as Pie Do

Fluttershy quietly glided into her kitchen, careful not to awaken the sleeping draconequus on her living room couch. He had been crashing on her couch since he had shown up a week ago, and told her about the absurd bet with Princess Luna.

While the Pegasus put on a pot of coffee she mused silently over the current situation. On one hoof, it was comforting to have Discord hanging around so much, because it meant that they were returning to their normal, easy friendship. On the other, she could see that his holding back on using chaos was making him miserable. He used his magic, here and there, for small things but he was being very careful with where and how he was using it. It was just not natural to be with him and not have him give the bunnies six-legs for a laugh, or make sour gummy roses for a treat to pluck in her garden.

While she went about feeding her animals, and performing her normal morning chores she seriously began to consider encouraging him to quit. Of course, if I do that then Discord might think I don’t believe in him. So maybe, I should encourage him to use his magic a little when we’re alone at the end of the day?

Having finished with her chores the pony went to rouse her tired friend.

“Discord,” she called softly to him pulling off his blanket. “Its time to get up.”

He didn’t move. Fluttershy flew over, and gently shook his shoulder with her hoof. He responded by grabbing the pony, and pulling her into an embrace. The pegasus went beet-red.

“I just want a few more minutes,” he chuckled opening an eye to observe her embarrassment. “You make a very nice warm pillow.”

“Discord!”

“You’re so easy to frazzle, Darling.”

She jumped back the moment he released her. She was unable to meet his eyes as he sat up and stretched.

“So what’s on the agenda today?” Discord glanced over at the pony, and was surprised that she still was reacting to his playful morning greeting. He almost apologized, but there was something satisfying about how much of a reaction he had received. In fact, he enjoyed making her blush so he chose to ignore her obvious discomfort.

Fluttershy rubbed one hoof with the other staring at the ground as she spoke, her cheeks still aflame. “Um-well, I think Twilight said something about going over to Pinkie Pie’s.”

Discord walked over to the coffee pot. “Well, that should be interesting. Pinkie Pie always manages to liven things up. All of Twilight’s lessons on where and how to stand, what and what not to say and how to address nobles and dignitaries are really starting to get tiresome.”

“Y-yes,” she answered while trotting over to the pot. “You’ve really surprised me with how serious you’ve been about this.”

“Well, I will get more freedom again if I succeed. Also, seeing Luna’s smug act get blown out of the water will be fun too.”

Fluttershy filled her own mug, her heart rate having returned to normal, and was finally able to meet his eyes. “I know it’s important to you. I would really like you to succeed, but you really don’t seem to be enjoying it.”

“Don’t worry about me, dear Fluttershy.” He grinned at her and she smiled back.

The two sat at her kitchen table in silence for a few moments.

“Discord, maybe when we get back today you could help me with my garden. I was thinking about how nice it would be to have a patch of candy flowers like you made that one time. Maybe a cotton candy tree would be nice too.”

The draconequus eyed her suspiciously. “Last time you told me the animals ate them all up, and tore everything up in a hyperactive frenzy. You made me promise never to do it again. Why the change of heart now?”

“Oh, you see, I just thought it would be nice for you to have a little chaos garden. We could put a fence, or a dome over it. Then you’d always have sweets when you visit.”

His face softened, as he understood her intent. “It’s very sweet of you to encourage me to use my magic, Fluttershy. The whole point of this bet is to get me used to not relying on chaos so much, so that I can fit in here in Ponyville.”

“Its not who you are though. Its not the same having you here, and not having you turning everything upside down.” Fluttershy reached out, and placed a hoof on his paw with an earnest but sad expression.

Discord smiled as he took her hoof and pressed it between his mismatched hands. “I’ll tell you what. Once this is all over we’ll make that garden and then I’ll have my own little patch of chaos, right here in Equestria.”

“You promise?”

“Yes,” Discord answered. He simply let her go and picked up his mug once more. “Until then, I think its better I be in a less chaotic state of mind. It’s very hard for me to wind down once I get going.”

Fluttershy sighed happy to know that Discord didn’t intend to keep suppressing his need for chaotic expression. However, there were two more weeks to go before the New Era Gala. She just hoped he could hang on without loosing his sanity until then.

***

Celestia sighed, as she looked over the report Mayor Mare had sent in the morning. It contained several complaints about Discord’s behavior in Ponyville. Several ponies were accusing him of causing all manner of accidents in town, and around their homes. The one that really concerned her the most was the claim by Filthy Rich that Discord had nearly suffocated his daughter Diamond Tiara in a pile of taffy.

“What is wrong?”

Celestia looked over at her sister who was still with her at the breakfast table. “There are some complaints about Discord, though I’m not sure what to make of them. Most of these things seem rather too pedestrian for Discord.”

“May I see?”

Celestia nodded to Luna letting her levitate the scroll over to look it over. She smiled as she watched her sister read the document. Luna had been dropping the Royal We a lot less often lately, which made Celestia very happy. It had been a long, hard struggle for her to acclimate after being cut-off from the world for a thousand years.

The monarch summoned her courier.

“How may I serve you, Princess Celestia?”

“Did all of these scrolls arrive at the same time as the report from Ponyville’s mayor?”

“Yes, Princess.”

“Come back in three hours. I will have a reply prepared for the Mayor by then.”

“As you command.” The pegsus pony bowed and exited.

“Well, what do you make of the situation, Luna? None of it really sounds like Discord, does it?”

“He likes playing pranks and games. How are these incidents any different?”

“Pony’s tripping over things, falling paint cans and a sudden cloud burst of normal rain seem far too normal for it to be Discord. It is also, suspicious that all of these reports have come in at one time.”

“I suppose you have a point, Sister. This Filthy Rich’s letter though is quite compelling. He even asks for an audience claiming Twilight was ignoring him, and siding with Discord.”

“I agree that there might be a glimmer of truth in his claims, but I just can’t believe that of Twilight. She wouldn’t let Discord harm anypony. I will be writing Twilight and Mayor Mare and see if I can get a better picture of what’s going on.”

“Perhaps, speaking to this Filthy Rich will shed some light upon the circumstances. I shall deal with this, so that it doesn’t take up anymore of your precious time.”

Celestia leveled a suspicious gaze at her sibling. “How is it that you want to handle an issue with Discord? You’ve made it perfectly clear you feel he is irredeemable.”

“That is precisely why I wish to speak with this pony. This might be evidence of your folly Celestia.”

The white alicorn smiled mysteriously. “Very well, sister mine. I shall leave this in your hooves. I shall warn you that this may not turn out as you wish it to.”

Princess Luna stared after Celestia unsure how to take the comment. She then snatched up a scroll and a quill, and wrote a letter to Filthy Rich.

***

Twilight let out a frustrated growl, as she perused the scroll that she was levitating before her eyes.

“What is it?” Spike asked.

“Discord! We trusted him, but apparently he’s been messing around with ponies behind our backs.”

“What?”

“I knew it!”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Twilight. He’s been with somepony every minute of the day. How could he do anything without somepony knowing?”

Twilight stopped pacing and paused. “Well he did drop taffy on that filly.”

“That’s the only thing we know he’s done though.”

Twilight’s ears and wings drooped. “You’re right Spike. I guess I’m just so on edge that I’m jumping at shadows. I think I have a permanent dent in my forehead from face-hoofing at Discord’s disregard about everything I’ve done trying to help.”

“You’re worrying about this too much.”

“If I can’t get everyone to accept Discord though, Princess Celestia will be so disappointed. Maybe the Tree of Harmony will take away my wings and everything.”

Spike went over to Twilight and hugged her. “That will never happen. I think you’re trying to hard.”

Twilight smiled at her assistant, and returned his hug.

“I guess maybe I am over thinking things a little bit.” The alicorn sighed. “I really should talk to Discord about it though.”

Spike stepped back and pointed to the clock. “We should hurry. The others will be waiting for us.

***

Discord’s eyes darted over to Twilight. Once again, she adverted her eyes and commenced to pretending Applejack had her full and complete attention. It was really starting to annoy him.

“If you have something to say to me Twilight Sparkle, then just say it.”

“Huh?” Twilight looked up at the draconequus.

“You have been looking at me contemplating something since we all met. I’m sure its something you don’t want to say, so it can’t be that you’ve just noticed how extraordinarily handsome I am. Just spit it out.” Discord spat out a small copy of himself, that reached over and tugged on the alicorn’s cheek playfully.

Twilight swatted at the mini-Discord, who suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke. “I suppose now is as good a time as any,” Twilight said pausing with a serious air. “You see, I received a communication from Princess Celestia this morning saying she received a lot of complaints about mischief you’ve caused with Mayor Mare’s report from Ponyville.”

“Mischief? When would I have had time to cause chaos? You’ve had me busy practically from sunrise to sunset.”

“He does have a point Twi.” Applejack agreed.

“Well, I don’t know what Discord does when he leaves us,” Twilight told the Applejack. She then pointed at Discord. “Maybe you set up time-delayed pranks so that we won’t realize it’s your doing.”

“Twilight!” Fluttershy said sternly. “I will have you know, that Discord has been holding himself back even at my house. I can personally guarantee that he’s done nothing to anypony. He’s slept on my couch every night, and he’s there in the morning when I get up.”

“Unless you’ve been with him every second how are you so sure? You always give Discord the benefit of the doubt, no matter what.”

Fluttershy paused a moment, as if considering what Twilight had said, which annoyed Discord considerably. “That’s because she knows me. Fluttershy can instantly pick up when I’m lying ,and she never lets me get away with anything. Her accusations are never baseless like everypony else’s. The rest of you blame me the moment anything unusual happens. She’s taken the time to get to know me which is more than I can say about you.” The draconequus glared at Twilight.

“Hey ya two! Cool it right now!” Applejack stomped the ground with force capturing everypony’s attention. “This is no way for friends to behave! Twilight ya need to give Discord a chance to respond. As for ya Discord, insultin’ her ain’t goin’ to make her want to listen.”

“That’s right. You both owe each other apologies, right now!” Fluttershy said eyeing both of her friends sternly.

The alicorn and the draconequus both slumped abashed, but refused to look at each other.

“Princess Celestia said she and Princess Luna were investigating the claims so there’s no reason for anypony to get upset over this.” Spike added gesturing to Twilight.

“I’m sorry. I probably could have worded my concerns more sensitively,” Twilight said glancing over at the draconequus unsurely.

“I’m sorry that I insulted you, after you insulted Fluttershy and I.” Discord fliply responded rolling his eyes until they popped out of his head.

Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged an exasperated look.

“You two are going to have to learn to work together, and trust each other if you’re ever going to be good friends,” Fluttershy told them.

“Plus, if ya really want to win yer bet, Discord, ya got no better ally than Twilight.”

“Yes, yes, I get that. Why else would I have gone to ask for her help if I didn’t recognize that?” Discord stated petulantly.

“I want to help you, Discord. I really, do.” Twilight held out her foreleg. “Let’s shake on it.”

“Fine.” Discord took her hoof, and they briefly shared a hoof-talon-shake.

Fluttershy rubbed Discord’s back reassuringly. “I wouldn’t worry, Discord. The Princesses will be fair and figure out that what’s being said isn’t true. You should just continue concentrating on showing everypony at the New Era Gala that you really are reformed.”

Twilight, not wanting to continue the conversation, because it most likely would reopen the quarrel, turned everyone’s attention to the task at hand. “Let’s go everypony.”

The five set off through town toward Sugar Cube Corner trying to ignore the reactions of the ponies there. Discord’s presence wasn’t something they relished. Some ran the other way. Other’s whispered to each other with contemptuous glances. It wasn’t something Twilight was used to. Since she had become a Princess, everypony received her warmly. If I can change these ponies’ opinions of Discord then I’ll truly be a proper ruler. If I can get Discord to respect me then this will be well worth all of the trouble. Then, I know Celestia will be happy, and I’ll truly deserve my place as a Princess.

Applejack nudged Twilight, and pulled her aside as they approached Sugar Cube Corner. "Are ya sure this is a good idea? Ya know, I think Pinkie Pie is the worst to give Discord tips on fancy balls."

"While I do admit that she made a bad impression at the Grand Galloping Gala, I think her experience can help Discord."

"Her bad example can help?"

"Well, DUH!" Pinkie's upside down head suddenly said eyeball to eyeball with the country pony.

Applejack fell backwards and glared up at the pink pony who was dangling from a bunch of balloons tied around her hind leg

"I can tell Discord what to not expect and not do. Liiiiiike..." she slid out of the balloon knot, snatched them up, tied them to Discord's tail and pushed the unhappy draconequus through the front door. Inexplicably, the pink pony appeared in the center of the room setting off a thirty party popper salute. "Do not expect balloons, party poppers, party cannons or anypony jumping out and saying... SURPRIIISE!"

She unfurled a banner that said 'Congratulations Discord' on it. "Welcome to your Discord got through a week of really boring stuff without destroying Ponyvillie, totally not practice party!"

"At least somepony noticed how hard I've been trying to be completely and utterly, boring and forgettable." Discord eyed Twilight with as much distain as he could muster.

"There's just one tiny thing I have to get out of the way first..." Pinkie said her perky voice trailing off into a more menacing tone before she pounced on Spike. "You! Don't think that I don't know!"

"W-What are you talking about?"

"My right eye-twitched, my tummy did a flip-flop, my ears pricked and I flipped on-to-my-back! Only I am allowed to BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!"

Everyone stared at Pinkie as she hyperventilated.

"She does have a point, I'm the only one allowed to bring in visual gags and references from an entirely different universe. I think you're getting off easy kid." Discord produced a scroll, and let it fall open that said 'My Little Pony: FIM Contract' on it, and was signed by John de Lancie.

Pinkie leapt up throwing steamers into the air. "Now that is over its time to party! I mean to not party, sorry, Twilight." Pinkie giggled.

"Ya still think this was a good idea?" AJ asked crossing her hoofs as she leaned on the counter.

Twilight sighed. This is going to be a long day. “Alright, Discord. Let’s pretend that Applejack and Pinkie Pie are the Duke and Duchess of Maretonia. How would you greet them if they walked up to you?”

Pinkie grinned and pulled out a mustache and slapped it on her snout. “I got dibs on the Duke!”

“He doesn’t have a mustache Pinkie.” AJ said with a sigh trotting over.

“He has a beard, but I don’t have a beard and wearing the mustache on my chin would look so silly it would make Discord laugh. Then Twilight would be mad at Discord and say ‘You must never laugh at foreign rulers’ and then Fluttershy will be mad at Twilight for being upset. Discord will be insulted and you’ll start lecturing. That’s why I’m wearing it above my lip.”

“That’s fine, Pinkie,” Twilight said as everypony else stared at the pink mare.

AJ shook her head. “Alright, then.” The ‘Duke and Duchess’ trotted over before Discord.

The draconequus gave a tired glance over at Twilight before bowing from the waist and addressing the ‘Nobles’. “Your Highness and Your Grace, welcome to Canterlot.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. She gestured for them to keep going with the role-play.

“Thank you, and who might you be?” Pinkie responded in a deeper tone twirling the mustache.

“I am Discord, Lord of Chaos and servant to the crown,” he answered smoothly

AJ fidgeted a moment and thought about all of the things she’d seen Twilight go over. Suddenly, the mare got a glint in her eye.

“Might ya be the same Lord of Chaos that caused so much fuss in Ponyville all those years ago?”

“Yes, but I am a changed draconequus now, Your Grace.”

Twilight’s grin got bigger.

“I heard you can make it rain chocolate milk. I, the Duke, demand you make some for me right now!”

Twilight repressed the urge to face-hoof and instead turned her head toward Discord. She wondered how he would react.

“I cannot under orders of Princess Celestia.” The draconequus folded his arms and turned up his nose.

“-But-“

“I won’t make chocolate rain on this domain.”

Pinkie tore off the mustache. “Okay, I’m not the Duke anymore. I want chocolate rain, but don’t forget the whipped cream this time!”

“No don’t!” Twilight giddily clapped her hooves together, before clearing her throat and nonchalantly continuing. “So Discord, how will you respond if anypony at the New Era Gala asks you to create chocolate rain?”

“I won’t make chocolate rain on this domain.”

“Again…” Twilight prompted.

Pinkie Pie suddenly donned a gaucho hat, and pulled out a set of castanets holding them between her teeth. She accompanied the music that began to play. It had an Andalusian flavor, even though there really was no reason for it.

(Click this link to hear the music as you read the song)

Discord (singing):

I won’t make chocolate rain on this domain.

Fluttershy (singing):

I think he’s got it!
He’s really got it!

Discord (singing):

I won’t make chocolate rain on this domain.

Twilight (singing):

By Celestia, he’s got it!
He's finally got it!

Now, once again where won’t it rain?

Discord(singing):

On this domain!
On this domain!

Twilight(singing):

And why no chocolate rain?

Discord(singing):

So none complain!
Or me defame!

All(singing):

He won’t make chocolate rain on this domain.
So all those in Ponyville won’t complain!

Twilight(singing):

In Coltford, Cartford, and Clydeshire...?

Discord(singing):

Candy canes cannot crop up.

Twilight(singing):

Now what to say to Celestia?

Discord(singing):

How kind of you to let me come!

Twilight(singing):

Now once again, where won’t it rain?

Discord(singing):

On this domain!
On this domain!

Twilight(singing):

And why no chocolate rain?

Discord(singing):

So none complain!
Or me defame!

All(singing):

He won’t make chocolate rain in this domain.
So all the folks in Ponyville don’t complain!

With a snap, Discord and spike were now dressed as flamenco dancers, with black gaucho hats, shirts, pants and mustaches.

“Cool!” Spike cheered.

With a snap, all of girls were in full flamenco attire, lacy red-and-black dresses; lacy black veils were affixed to their manes with combs and red roses.

“Why the hay, am Ah in a frou-frou-“

Applejack was silenced as a rose appeared between her teeth, and she was swept off her feet in a dip by Discord. He brought her up, wide-eyed and blinking, to her feet before spinning her around. When he let her go she dropped to the ground with a thud, and watched the others wondering if they might have gone mad.

Discord glided across the ground with percussive steps, clapping his mismatched hands together with great flourish above his head.

Twilight, far too happy to worry about the weirdness, stomped rhymically in a circle with Fluttershy, and Spike while he clapped along to the beat.

Pinkie Pie rose to her hind legs, posing dramatically, making shapes in the air with her forelegs while turning in place.

Applejack with a shrug finally decided to join in with the entire group with a spinning flourish.

All (shouted):

Ole!

The all laughed, uproariously.

“That was sooo much fun!” Pinkie Pie said bouncing around.

“Yes, it was.” Twilight smiled at Discord and he grinned back.

“The only thing is, what was with all of these get-ups?” Applejack said dislodging the headdress.

Spike started to speak until Pinkie Pie grabbed him and clamped her hoof over his mouth. “That’s because this was a song parody of a song called the “Rain in Spain” so the music and the dresses were like the kind that the Andalusian ponies like.

Pinkie let Spike go narrowing her eyes at him. “I told you that you aren’t aloud to BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!”

“Okay, okay,” Spike sighed. He touched his lip, stroking the mustache. “At least, I look good.”

Discord mischievously grinned snapping his claws, and all of the attire vanished leaving Spike stroking the air. The dragon frowned at the draconequus.

“So now that I’ve passed with flying colors, I suppose this is the last lesson?”

“Are you kidding?” Twilight giggled in delight. “There’s two more weeks and that gives us plenty of time to practice everything until it’s absolutely perfect!”

“Um, Twi are ya okay?”

“Oh I have never been so excited. In fact, I think we ought to test Discord at a real event next!”

“A real event?” Discord asked.

“Spike, is there anything coming up that ponies of great influence will attend?”

“Well, there is that Canterlot Pegasi Race benefiting the orphans coming up in a week. Princess Celestia invited you remember?”

“Yes, I do now.”

“That must be the race Rainbow Dash was talkin’ about.”

“Wow that’s perfect! Dashie will race, we all get to watch and Discord gets to make a good impression on all of the Canterlot ponies.” Pinkie giggled.

“Right! We’ll double up on your lessons starting tonight!”

“Um, is that really necessary, Twilight?” Fluttershy timidly protested.

“If Discord wants to be perfect for the event, then yes,” Twilight declared stabbing the air with her left hoof.

Discord sighed.

Noticing her friend’s drooping ears, Fluttershy hugged him while nuzzling his cheek. “It will be alright.”

“Unless, Twilight Sparkle kills me with over-work,” he muttered.

Author's Note

This song was another parody of one of the songs from the Musical My Fair Lady. It was a celebratory song and dance because Eliza, the character that Discord is representing this story, finally gets her speech lessons and speaks without her cockney accent. It’s called the Rain in Spain and I’ve included it below.

Flamenco is a Spanish folk music and dance style from the Andalusian region of the country. Since there are famous horses from that same area called Andalusians as well I use that for the ponified name of Spain. Check out the video below to see some dancers performing flamenco.