The Hearth's Warming Horseshoes

by AkjACEKids

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Apple Bloom, Noteworthy
Length: 2203

It was almost Hearth's Warming time, there I stood in another line. Trying to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Hearth's Warming mood...

Get in the Christmas mood with this not-so heartwarming story. Granny Smith is about to die (she's old, it's gotta happen eventually), and Apple Bloom wants to get her one last Hearth's Warming day gift, but sadly, she doesn't have enough money.
A satirical MLP style take on the song that everybody loves to hate, The Christmas Shoes.
Apparently the one and only story tagged with Noteworthy and Apple Bloom. Somebody's probably gonna make a foalcon of them eventually, but as of 1/6/2015, it's the only one.
**Proofread by my sister (who is currently without an account on the wondrous world of FimFiction)**

Published 2014-12-15 17:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-15 17:00:03 UTC

As Told By Noteworthy

It was almost Hearth's Warming time, and there I stood in another line. I was trying to buy that last gift or two, but I really wasn't in the Hearth's Warming mood. But, right in front of me was a little filly. She looked anxious and nervous. She paced around in front of me, holding a box. I remember glancing at her a couple times, seeing her frantically pacing in front of me, but I thought more about myself and my family. It was Hearth's Warming Eve and I still had stuff to buy.

My family treated me right and I treated them right. Although my musical career hasn't made much money, it made me enough money to support my family and give them a lovely Hearth's Warming Day. I couldn't imagine what life would be like without them. They make my life complete. The one last thing I had to buy was actually a gift for my whole family; a brand new piano. My family is very musical, so this is something they'd enjoy.

Clearly I didn't have a giant piano in the tiny supermarket checkout line, so they used little pieces of paper to represent the big item being bought. I held that little slip of paper tightly in my hoof, waiting to pay for it to get my receipt so I could pick it up and leave. I just wanted to get out of there and wrap the thing up. I didn't know how I would, but I knew I'd manage it.

The wait was taking too long. I mean seriously, this place had like 20 checkout lanes, and of course, on Hearth's Warming Eve, they only have 1 open. There were like 20 ponies in front of me to begin with, but by this point it was down to around 7, including the little filly in front of me, still frantically pacing.

She looked tense. Very tense. As if something was bothering her very much. Sweat ran down her poor little face. Maybe it was because she had a blank flank. I don't know why that would cause stress like that. It was just the first thing that came to mind. Maybe she was just trying to get a gift before her parents noticed she was missing. They probably would've noticed by now though. She was in front of me the whole time I was in this line, and it had been around 30 minutes.

I was finally close to the checkout, ready to buy the piano and leave. The only pony in front of me was the frantic little yellow filly. I saw her struggle to give the box to the clerk who was taller than her. The clerk helped her and grabbed the box to scan it, but before the clerk could scan it, the little filly broke into a terrible, terrible song.

"Sir I wanna buy these horseshoes," she sang, "for my Granny please. It's Hearth's Warming Eve and these horseshoes are just her size..."

I wanted to kill myself. The song was so terrible. Being a musician myself, I had heard a lot of music, good and bad, but THIS was BY FAR the WORST song I have ever heard. Ever. I tried to cover my ears, but I still heard her terrible song.

"Could you hurry, sir?" She continued to sing, "AJ says there's not much time. You see, she's been sick for quite a while, and I know these horseshoes will make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful if Granny meets her creator tonight."

Thank Celestia she stopped singing to count her bits. It seemed like years until the cashier said "Kid, there's not enough here." I felt kind of sorry for her, but I felt more sorry for myself, knowing that she'd probably turn to me and beg me for money, most likely in song. Surely enough, she turned to me and began to sing

"Granny made Hearth's Warming good at our house, though most yea-" I couldn't stand it anymore. The song was so terrible. I had to cut her off.

"KID STOP! THIS SONG IS TERRIBLE!" She began to cry. I began to feel guilty, and I knew that everypony would hate me if I didn't do something quick. So I did something.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," I said, "If I pay for your Granny's horseshoes, will you PLEASE stop with this terrible song?"

"Why, yes!" she said. I laid the money down, I just had to help myself out by getting this girl to stop. I couldn't believe the look on her face when she said,

"Granny's gonna look so great!" And the only reason I couldn't believe it was because she looked overjoyed and thought that her Granny would look great. But seriously, they're HORSESHOES! They're barely noticeable. I mean, sure, they're red, they might stand out a little, depending on her Granny's body color, but COME ON! You went through all that trouble, made me listen to a terrible, TERRIBLE song, AND made me give you 50 bits! Just for some horseshoes! For the love of Celestia, REALLY!?

Anyway, the young filly ran out with the horseshoes, still humming that terrible song, and thankfully, I didn't see her again. After she was gone, the clerk told me something, he said,

"You know, sir, you did a good thing."

"Helping the little filly out, I know, I know. I guess it was a good thing."

"Well, that WAS a good thing, but I was talking about stopping that little girl from singing that horrible song. We ALL appreciate it." I looked back and everypony in line behind me applauded me and showered cheers and thank-you's upon me. It was beautiful. I looked back at the clerk, and suddenly, the manager was there. The manager looked at me and said,

"Sir, what are you buying tonight?"

"A Quaver Brothers Brand grand piano. I've got the slip for it right here."

"Well, sir," the manager said, "on behalf of all of us at Wal*Mare, we would like to grant you your entire purchase free."

"Are you serious? This piano is worth 5000 bits!"

"But what you did there, stopping that horrid song, was priceless."

"Thank you so much."

The good ponies of Wal*Mare even helped me take it home and wrap it up for my family for the next day. And all of this happened just because of one little filly's horrible song.

As Told By Applebloom

Author's Note

During Apple Bloom's plan, I picture everything around her going dark except for her. She just turns red and makes her plan in the way Light Yagami would.

As Told By Applebloom

It all started when winter came around. Granny Smith fell ill. Around the beginning of winter, it was just coughin', then there came sneezin', then there came a sore throat. Before we knew it, Granny caught Ebola! Well, actually it wasn't Ebola. That's just what the other ponies at school said, but AJ says they're just paranoid. Applejack told me that her body was just wearing out since she's old, and that's what happens to old ponies. Death.

Hearth's Warming Eve came around. Granny was sicker than ever. AJ said there wasn't much time left for Granny. I knew what I had to do. I had to take all the money I had and buy something nice for Granny before she met her demise.

I told Applejack I was going over to Scootaloo's house, but that was a lie. I was really headin' down to the new Wal*Mare supermarket to buy Granny some brand new horseshoes.

I got to the Wal*Mare and searched the store. It was the biggest store I'd ever been in, and it was hard to navigate, but I managed to do it and find the perfect red horseshoes, just her size.

When I found them, I went straight to the checkout. It was a really long line and only one checkout lane was open, which I don't really understand since there were like 50 of 'em, but they only had ONE open. What's up with that? There was about 40 ponies in line, so why couldn't they just open a few more? Didn't they even think about some ponies being in a rush, like me? My Granny could be dead by the time this line is through!

I was stressed when I was in line. I thought Granny might be dead by the time I get back to the hospital to give her these horseshoes. Then came to mind a random tune. I had a stroke of genius, I frantically paced around in line, thinking about my Granny, thinking about these horseshoes, and thinking about how I could use this tune in my head to get money to pay for the shoes, instead of using my own.

I came up with a plan. I would act all cute and innocent and give the horseshoes to the clerk. Before he even gets the chance to scan it, I break out into the song I created. It'll soften him up with emotion. After the first verse, I'll intentionally put up less than enough bits to pay for it. The clerk will feel compassion for me and let me have the horseshoes for free or for the price I paid. If the clerk shows no compassion, I'll turn straight to the pony behind me and sing the next verse. Surely my sad song will get him to pay for it and I get out of Wal*Mare with the horseshoes and without having spent any money.

It was finally my turn. I struggled to put the box up on the scanner thingy that the clerk uses since it was taller than me. The clerk helped me out and took it. Before he even got the chance to scan it, I began to go through with my plan.

"Sir I wanna buy these horseshoes for my Granny please. It's Hearth's Warming Eve and these horseshoes are just her size." The clerk and the pony gave me looks of shock at the fact that I randomly broke out singing and disgust at the song. I thought it was good, but apparently they didn't. "Could you hurry, sir, AJ says there's not much time, you see, she's been sick for quite a while, and I know these horseshoes will make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful if Granny meets her creator tonight."

I intentionally put down only half my bits. The clerk counted it and said,

"Kid there's not enough here."

So the clerk didn't take the bait. I resorted to plan B, turned to the pony behind me and sang again,

"Granny made Hearth's Warming good at our house, though most yea-" the stallion behind me cut me off.

"KID STOP! THIS SONG IS TERRIBLE!" He said. I began to fake cry and guilt trip him into buying Granny's horseshoes. He spoke again.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. If I pay for your Granny's horseshoes, will you PLEASE stop with this terrible song?"

"Why yes!" I said. He laid down 50 bits and paid for the horseshoes, with some change (which I took). To add the icing to the top of the cake, I looked at the guy and said,

"Granny's gonna look so great!"

I took the horseshoes and left, humming my guilt-trip song. I successfully conned this guy to buy these shoes, and saved the 50 bits I had. I walked with pride toward the hospital, tossing the bits I saved in my hoof. I walked into Granny Smith's hospital room. It was too late.

I saw Applejack cry for the first time in ages. Big Mac uttered a somber "nope", and I just stood in shock at what happened. I looked in AJ's eyes, but she cried and looked away. I looked at the cold, dead body of my Granny. I SCREAMED and threw the horseshoes at the wall. I got down on my knees and cried, regretting how I conned the guy and how I couldn't get here in time to give these shoes to Granny Smith.

I looked back at the horseshoes, but noticed something on my own body. Something appeared on my flank. My cutie mark. It was bittersweet. What I had been waiting for for a long time had finally appeared, but my Granny was dead. I couldn't tell what it was though. I looked back at Granny. Suddenly, she sat up! It was a miracle!

"I died and met Lauren Faust, but as soon as you got your cutie mark, she let me return to see it!"

"Granny, that's great!" AJ said.

"Now let me see your cutie mark, Apple Bloom!" Granny said.

Granny looked at my flank.

"Well, that's disappointing," Granny said, "back to Hasbro Studios! Love you all!" Granny died again. I wondered why she said it was disappointing. I went straight to the bathroom to look in the mirror. When I got in there, I saw why she said that.

My cutie mark is a pony stealing from another pony. My special talent is being a con-pony.