Semper Ardere

by Nightmare723764

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Adventure
Length: 12519

My name's Ardeo, I'm the Chosen Undead. I got summoned before I could Link with the First Fire. At first I thought I would need to save a moronic undead... boy I never expected to deal with ponies though!

Yeah I decided to do my own Dark Souls/MLP story, I hope it does good!
Also Nihatclodra started as an editor but is now the coauthor AND editor!

The name's Ardeo, and you guessed it, I'm an undead pyromancer questing to link with the First Flame to extend the "Age of Fire" for the greater good of the world! Why? Well why not? I'm undead it's not like I have any prospects or anything!

Now most the folks of Lordran , those that haven't Hollowed and gone insane that is, would have you think I'm a cold hearted bastard that wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone. Well… they're not wrong. But just because I'm a remorseless rouge doesn't mean I'm a heartless killer!

So anyways I just defeated Lord Gwyn and I move forward to link to the fire but wouldn't you know it? I get summoned away, probably by some moronic undead that bit off more then he can chew. It's happen before!

But boy… this summoning was anything I was expecting!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-01 01:40:53 UTC

From Fate, to Kindle

Welcome, Sunseeker, to Inanis.

This is a realm that is everywhere and nowhere, between the tick of a tock, where reality is fantasy and fantasy; reality.

Whom am I, thou asketh? I am whom I am, and I am not whom I willst be; but I shallt ever be the same as I was.

Now… what brings thyself here to mine realm? Hmm?

… Thou seeketh someone dost thou not, Sunseeker? One whom sacrificed himself to prolong what thy call the “Age of Fire”, correct? Yes, I know of whom thou speak; the “Chosen Undead” as he hast been called.

… ‘Tis a strange twist of fate that a remorseless rogue which knew only misery wouldst sacrifice himself for a world he couldst care less about? What couldst have drove him to do something so contrary to his nature?

Mortal beings, quasi-immortality aside, art a strange breed. So full of mixed feelings, emotions; such chaotic flighty things thou art.

The one thou seeketh is no longer in thy realms, Sunseeker; Those-Above-All hast taken an interest in him. Why? I do not dare speculate the whims and whimsy of those far above mine station. Beings whom art beyond logic as thy mortal mind perceives it.

Do they feel sympathy for him? Or do they do this for their own amusment? Their reasoning is theirs alone, and incomprehensible to all others.

Now since thou came all the way here, I suppose I shouldst allow thou to witness his new life from the beginning, yes?

He hast accomplished much in his time there. He became a Knight of the Realm for his actions, he couldst have even become a prince and ruled alongside the rulers of the realm; but of course he declined said honor. Claiming it wouldst be too much a hassle or some such.

He is also known by many titles; Knight of Equestria, Grand Pyromancer, Master of the Chaos-Pyres, and the Ever-Burning Silence.

How didst he attain these titles or even a chance? Well someone, or rather somepony, decided that everyone deserves a second chance.

Chapter 1

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

“Gods be damned! My head!”

It’s just my luck really, I decide to actually do something for the “Greater Good” and I get summoned away! Probably by some moronic undead that bit off more than he can chew or something. Pushing myself off the ground I immediately sensed powerful magics amassing. Curious I decide to investigate.

You know the saying “Curiosity killed the Cat?” well it really doesn’t mean much when death is, at most, a temporary reprieve from everything.

As I approached the gathering magic I finally noticed that I’m in the ruins of a castle, but the style is unlike anything in Lordran! Could I have been summoned by an undead in a different country? It’s happened before! But I’m sure there’s has never been a kingdom past or present to use this particular style of construction. Most interesting!

I enter what must’ve been a grand throne room at one time, and I find myself completely and utterly befuddled.

“Are those… horses? No… too small… ponies then.”  I rubbed my eyes, “Colorful ponies… six of them bearing gaudy magical relics… standing against a large… winged… unicorn I believe? Honestly I would’ve thought I am dreaming if not for my splitting headache.”

Okay… apparently the large dark winged unicorn is the enemy? I, of course, am assuming this. And those relics can defeat her? Again, assuming. So I guess I should give the six ponies time to ready the magic? It’s my experience that some magics require time to properly build up charge to work, it’s a universal rule regarding any kind of magic really.

As I readied myself to do something foolish, I couldn’t help but feel a morbidly humorous thought enter my head.

“Gods, I hope this death doesn’t suck as bad as being incinerated like back in the Undead Burg that one time.”

--->>>Twilight Sparkle<<<---

I stood along with my new-found friends and stared down Nightmare Moon, though I look brave; inwardly, I am completely terrified. I mean come on: this is Nightmare Bucking Moon, who wouldn’t be bucking terrified? But this is something I need to do, not only for myself; but for my friends, my mentor, and all of the world!

I will not allow Nightmare Moon to encompass the world in eternal night!

“My friends and I will never bow to you!” Wow listen to me, a real-life superhero!

“My, my such brave little ponies!” Nightmare Moon mocked, “But I assure you if you all gave it a chance. I guarantee you wouldn’t want the night to end either.” Okay the way she said that makes me feel a tad uncomfortable.

However before either myself or the others could say anything a large biped creature in armor tackled, for the lack of a better word, Nightmare Moon and seemed to be trying to wrestle her into submission. The creature shouted something at us but it was in no language I knew.

As the Mare in the Moon and the creature wrestled around, and I think Nightmare Moon possibly forgot about her magic from being surprised, the girls and myself decided to make use of the creatures distraction knowing that if we let this slip by we’d never get another shot. Magic, as everypony knows, needs time to charge depending on the power requirements.

And the Elements of Harmony aren’t exempt from the fundamental rules of magic.

“LET GO OF ME CREA- ARRGGGHHH!” Nightmare Moon screamed.

I briefly looked towards the struggling duo, the creatures right hand seemed to flare up like it was on fire and grasped her horn. I could hear sizzling and smell something, presumedly her horn, burning. I felt myself wince in sympathy, I can only imagine how much that hurts!

I was pulled from my thoughts when I noticed that the Elements had fully charged and waited to be directed, oh I hope the creature won’t be hurt!

“Let’s show Nightmare Moon the Magic of Friendship!” Maker, that sounded SO corny!

With that I released the concentrated harmonic energies into a beam of prismatic energy. The beam consumed both Nightmare Moon and the creature. Whereas Nightmare Moon howled like a wounded manticore the creature was slung back violently, and even over the sounds of Nightmare Moon screaming the room was filled with the gut-wrenching sound of bone snapping.

“Maker! I hope the creature is ok!”

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

“Snapped neck and pulverized spine huh? Well… that’s a first.”

It’s sad really, dying is suppose to a terrifying experience. Me? Honestly after dying so many times is rather blase and boring actually. If i didn’t revive? Then I would probably start freaking out. It’s funny how that works out huh?

Now being undead dying, as you can figure, isn’t clearcut and simple. Sadly the accursed Darksign quite literally traps us in an unending loop of life, death, and resurrection. And each resurrection isn’t a perfect one either, with each revival we, that’s all undead, lose bits and pieces of who we are. I myself can only remember my name now.

But as long as we, again all undead, have a strong will we will never truly go Hollow.

You have no idea how many strong-willed undead go Hollow. I’d be sad if I ever truly gave a damn.

Huh? What’s will all the sad faces? Haven’t they ever seen an undead before? And where’d those two winged unicorns come from? And where’d that one I was wrestling with go??

--->>>Luna<<<---

While I am glad to be free of the Nightmare; I must admit being forced go through my teenage years once again is a mite frustrating. Thank the Maker I won’t how to suffer through puberty! Well better me than Tia actually. The “Legend of Molestia” had to start somewhere after all.

It is an unfortunate thing, well fortunate for me that is, that Tia’s heat cycle hits her harder than it does me! Maker can you imagine? The “Legend of the Sultry Night Princess” or somesuch! The worst possible thing ever!!

Finishing those, bizarrely random, thoughts I quickly embrace my sister after a thousand years. I buried my head in her barrel and wept tears of joy. Finally after so long alone I’m reunited with my dear, dear sister!

“We art so sorry!!” I cried.

Tia didn’t say anything, just covered me with her wings and held me tightly. I could feel her own tears dripping on my head, but I didn’t care. As we embraced I couldn’t help but think of the strange creature that physically wrestled the Nightmare- wait! The creature!

“The creature!” I exclaimed.

Breaking free of Tia’s embrace I quickly trotted over to the downed creature. It was sitting against the pedestal where the Elements once sat, it’s entire body slumped over. It wore a strange amalgamation of plate mail and robes, making it seem like a warrior monk of sorts.

“Creature? Art thou well?” I asked cautiously.

The creature didn’t respond. Frowning I nudged its side gently, making it slide over with no trouble. My heart sank when it didn’t move to right itself. Maker no… it can’t be! I started to tear up slightly.

“Creature?” I tried again.

No response. Steeling myself I moved to push its hood back revealing its face. And when I did I think my heart stopped beating. Its neck was bent at an unnatural angle.

The collision with the pedestal had snapped its neck.

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

Now I’m a cold hearted bastard, or most in Lordran would have you know, but honestly I think before I gained the Darksign I had a weakness for cute things cause damn is my heart clenching

… For some reason… I feel like saying “Argh! The Feels!” for whatever reason?

… Huh? Oh look they decided to lay me out flat and cross my arms over my chest. Rather sweet of them actually, but I’ll only just disappear and reappear at the nearest bonfi- okay… this is weird?

--->>>All encompassing third-person<<<---

Luna as well as her sister and the new Element bearers observed the creature sadly, all of them having tears in their eyes. A sentient creature, or so they assume, gave it’s life unknowingly to allow the Elements to purge the Nightmare. And then there’s the long term psychological ramifications of killing another, if only by association.

However before Celestia could suggest they all return to Ponyville something strange started to happen to the creature’s body. It started steaming…?

They all watched as the creature’s flesh slowly start to steam and… shrivel? Its face, and they can only assume the rest of its body, started to wither until it looked like it was recently mummified.

Tears and sadness momentarily forgotten, it was Rainbow Dash that accurately summed up their thoughts.

“What the buck?”

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

This… isn’t suppose to happen. As I try to process what’s happened I play dead, and I can do that with the best of them, the group of ponies and the two winged unicorns talked back and forth trying to figure out what happened.

The damnedest thing of it is that I can actually understand them now!

Of course I can’t really pay attention I was too busy focusing my senses on myself, trying to decipher what’s changed and what’s the same. The connection all undead have to the bonfires is gone! And instead I’m connected to… what? Gods… nothing is ever simple is it?

*sigh* I might as well make my survival known, gods I hope they don-… oh hell, I do hope they freak out! I need me a good laugh!

… I hope I have a human effigy with me…

--->>>Twilight<<<---

Whereas the girls and princesses gazed at the creature in both shock and amazement, I was trying desperately to rationalize the accelerated mummification I just witnessed. I have never heard or read of anything like this happening in all of Elyisum!

My eye twitched and some of my mane started to come undone and fray, making me look a bit crazy as I’ve been told.

However before I could go into “full researcher mode” as Spike’s called it the creature twitched and sat up.

… WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!?!

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

Gods! Their faces!! Gods if I could laugh right now I would be cackling!

The rainbow maned one took off like a firebolt! The ivory unicorn screamed and fainted. The orange one started to swear, well I think she’s swearing, like a mad woman! Mare? Whatever. The pink maned one with wings curled into a ball and started shivering. Okay I got to admit that one made me feel rather bad…

The happy-go-lucky pink creature, I’m not entirely sure if she’s a pony despite looking like one, simply giggled madly and said something about… “giggling at ghosties”? … Moving on…

The white winged unicorn jumped and screamed, which was hilarious, but also launched a beam of concentrated light at a wall. Which melted like candle wax! Wow… that’s actually kinda impressive! Hmm… I wonder if I could do that with Combustion?

The second winged unicorn, I’m not sure if she’s a dark blue or an azure color though, simply jumped back and looked at me rather curiously. Now that’s interesting.

“Creature?” She said curiously.

Gods I wish I could speak in my Hollow form, shrugging I held up one finger. I think grabbed my bag of holding, why foolish merchants call it a “bottomless box” when it is obviously not a box is beyond me! However I’m just a buyer and if they want to call it a box then they can call it a box. Even a blind, deaf, and dumb man could tell you it isn’t.

*sigh* Stupidity is abound in Lordran if you couldn’t tell.

With a soundless chuckle I opened my bag and started it dig around in it. Hmm… I guess somewhere between the realms I lost most of my weapons and armor. Let’s see here… okay there’s the Chester set - bloody creepy bastard, good taste in clothes though - , the Shadow set when I feel like being all stealthy, oh Big Logans hat which I stole off him, and… that princess set I got after saving whatsherface from the crystal golem… why in the seven hells do I still have this??

… Ah ha! Here we go! I pluck out a human effigy and inspect it. Man these things are so much more convenient the sacrificing humanity to bonfires! In fact… how’s that going to work now? I mean… yeah I got plenty of the black sprites but… what do I sacrifice them to?

Shaking my head I crushed the effigy in my head and in a flash I’m back amongst the living so to speak, still undead so technically speaking… yeah nevermind.

Rolling my neck around I looked at the ponies, who were staring with a slack-jawed expression. Rather amusing really…

“So…” I drawled, “What are you all? Where am I? And where’d the winged unicorn I was fighting with go??”

--->>>Celestia<<<---

I will admit when the creature seemed to instantly mummify then proceed to get up I was on guard; I have heard of necromantic “sleeper” beings that do such things. They look alive and well but when your guard is down they can instantly transform into a grotesque monstrosities.

“Creature?” Lulu asked curiously.

The creature held on of its digits up, I’m pretty sure it isn’t a claw, then grabbed a bag off its waist and started to dig around in it.  After a few moments it pulled out a small item made of twigs, stared at it for a few moments, then crushed it. It was then engulfed in light and when it faded it looked as it had before it’s strange transformation!

It then rolled its neck and looked at us.

“So…” The creature drawled, “What are you all? Where am I? And where’d the winged unicorn I was fighting go?”

I and the rest of the girls jumped at the sound of his voice, before none could understand it; or so I was told. But now it’s speak in perfect Equestrian with a Trottingham accent! The accent suited the creature rather well actually… strange? I called upon my centuries as a princess to address the creature.

However it seemed Twilight to beat me to the punch.

"We're ponies, you're in Equestria, she's right here with all the evil in her now purged thanks to your help, and HOLY CARAMELIZED HORSEAPPLES ON A STICK, YOU'RE UNDEAD!!!" Applejack seemed to take personal offense to that particular swear.

“Huh… ponies…” The creature scratched its chin, “...Not the strangest thing I’ve ran into…” It added trailing off lost in thought.

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

… Yeah in fact I think the weirdest thing I’ve ever come across is an entire group of Hollows ganging up on another Hollow and…

… Moving on…

“I’m a human. Well, was; but now, yeah, I’m undead.” I said giving a little mock bow, “I have to say honestly I was expecting another undead to need help, not ponies. So… what was that rainbow beam you hit me with? I feel rather… odd?”

The purple unicorn pulled herself together, amazingly enough, and started to cast a series of spells that I couldn’t make heads or tails of. But then again being a practitioner of the “barbaric” and “uncivilized” art of Pyromancy I don’t know a lot about magic outside of that. I can only assume they’re scanning spells or somesuch.

“Huh, that’s strange?” The purple unicorn muttered.

The large white winged unicorn and the smaller winged unicorn, hmm… is that second one dark blue or azure; I can’t really tell? Anyway the two approached the smaller unicorn to discuss something, so I decided to occupy myself.

I looked at the rainbow-maned winged pony.

“So… while they talk about whatever, can you tell me a little bit about Equestria?” I asked politely, “I have a feeling I’m going to be stuck here for a while.”

“Uh… sure dude.” The rainbow pony said.

--->>>Luna<<<---

I listened as my sister and her student discussed what exactly Twilight learned from her spells. I myself couldn’t bring myself to really care, Tia was always the more scholarly between us. Me, I was more of a tomcolt then anything! Though I will admit I am a prodigy in both mind magic and dream manipulation, what with those being my special talent!

Oh and I’m an unrepentant prankster, something both Tia and I share in common.

In fact I think it was about a century before my banishment did Tia discover… what was it called? Trolling I believe? Yes! Trolling! Oh how she would drive the nobles mad!

“So, you believe the creature is now connected to the Elements somehow?” Oh I better start listening!

“Yes, Princess Celestia. From what the spells say the creature now shares some sort of connection with the Elements.” Well that’s interesting, I think.

Knowing the discussion was about to get a whole lot more technical I decide to go speak to the creature after all why not? It did assist in freeing me of the Nightmare! Silently trotting over I couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable… Rainbow Dash I believe her name is?

Yes! That’s her name!

I couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable she is.

“Art thou well Rainbow Dash?” I asked curiously.

She mumbled something before quickly returning to her fellow Elements. Huh well that was rather rude! I was actually about to chastise the rainbow pegasi when the creature put his hand on my withers stopping me.

“She’s never seen anyone die.” I offered, “It’s understandable really. So, you’re the one I was fighting eh?”

I looked up at the creature; it had a smirk on it’s face. The creature then proceeded to mess my mane, which won’t regain it’s ethereal quality for some time, much to my displeasure. I apparently I started pouting without realizing it as the creature started laughing.

“Well…” the creature chortled, “...You are probably the cutest thing I’ve ever fought!”

I couldn’t help but blush at that. I am not cute! I’m an ethereal beauty the likes stallions and mares endlessly long for!

“We art not cute” I protested.

--->>>Chosen Undead<<<---

I watched as the smaller winged unicorn stomped, trotted? Off in a huff. Deciding I riled up enough people, or ponies rather, I decide to check over my equipment. Walking over to the nearest broken pillar I sat down and went about removing my chest piece.

“Gods I wish I still had my smithbox.” I muttered.

The chest piece wouldn’t protect me from a shove let alone a sword as it is now! And I honestly doubt it could be repaired in the first place! Which kinda sucks cause I went to great lengths to make this! I used the Gold-Hemmed robes as a base and used Dark armor to… well… give it armor!

Honestly I spent months working on this! Even Andrei was proud of my work!

Now it’s destined for the scrap heap! Gods be damned!

Sighing I decide to check on my sword. And if my sword is ruined then… well… fuck all! With a practiced motion I unsheathed my  katana Washing Pole. I never understood why it was called that, I mean sure it’s abnormally long but really? Why would anyone call a weapon that can behead a group of people in a single swipe “Washing Pole” it just don’t make any gods damned sense!

“Huh… I won’t be using this in a fight till I repair it.” I muttered.

Up and down the blade were countless nicks, fractures, and flat out cracks in the blade. Honestly I could lightly rap my palm on the blade and it’d probably shatter! And honestly I’ve been too much bloody effort into making this thing into a blade Gravelord Nito would be proud of for it to be destroyed! Granted it still can’t do much to plate or dragon scale but if I can get enough power behind a stab with this? I can kill almost anything!

“This beaut’ saved my ass in the Valley of Drakes…” I mused.

Granted, it was a lucky shot really. I mean what’s the chances of stabbing a drake in the eye without actively aiming for it? Non-existent that’s what! After I gathered that things souls and some dragon scales I got the hell outta there!

Satisfied I sheathed the sword, afterwards I take it and slide it into my bag, completely ignoring the fact that I’ve apparently stupefied everyone there. Everypony? Whatever. I then reach in and start pulled out the Chester set, and with little care of modesty I started to disrobe and change.

Did I care if these ponies saw my goods? No, not really. I think I might’ve been an exhibishionist given my lack of modesty.

After pulling on the trench coat I turned towards the gaping ponies. Okay, now I just gotta screw with them!

“What never seen a naked undead before?” I ask sarcastically.

--->>>All encompassing third person perspective<<<---

“Oh my!”

*pomf*

Ardeo, not that they knew his name, tilted his head at the odd reactions he garnered from the ponies. For all the winged ones, except for the big white one, their wings shot straight up like they were spring-loaded! The others were just gaping, while the large white winged unicorn simply had her brow raised.

“Something wrong?” Ardeo asked.

That snapped them all out of their funk and they went about trying to brush it off.  Shaking his head Ardeo then put on the hat to complete the set, he had of course removed the mask when he first came into possession of it.

“So… can someone explain what’s suppose to happen now?” Ardeo tilted his head, “And maybe introduce yourselves? It’d be easier than referring to you by your coloration or if you haves wings and a horn.”

--->>>Celestia<<<---

“Allow me. If I won’t be interrupted this time.” Twilight blushed and kicked her hoof around, “I am Princess Celestia, Herald of the Dawn. This is my sister Luna, Herald of the Moon.” I said gesturing towards my shorter sister, “And this is my faithful student Twilight Sparkle and her friends.”

“Applejack.”

“Howdy!”

“Rainbow Dash.”

“Sup dude!”

“Rarity”

“Charmed.”

“Fluttershy.”

“H-Hello…”

“And this is-”

“HimynameisPinkiePiedoyouwanttobefriends!DoyoulikepartiesIlikepartiesyouwantacupcakecanIthrowyouaparty?”

The creature stared at Pinkie completely dumbfounded; which I’ve learned to expect from anypony from the Pie family. I then took in his new apparel and while it does look good I can’t help but frown at the leather, I do hope the creature that provided that leather wasn’t sapient!

“Uh… yeah…” The creature muttered, “My name’s Ardeo, a pleasure.” Ardeo added after shaking off his daze.

“Ardeo, eh? My, such a strong name full of meaning! It’s Ancient Equestrian I believe. Hmm… I do wonder if you live up to that name?” I ask curiously.

Ardeo shrugged, “I guess, I’m pretty good at burning things.” To prove his point he conjured a massive fireball in his left hand.

However the fireball wasn’t like a normal one, it seemed to burn red instead of orange. The flames didn’t seem natural either, most curious? I wonder what kind of fire Ardeo has called into existence?

“Wowy how’d you do that!” Gasped the excitable Pinkie Pie.

“I’m a Pyromancer of the Great Swamp.” Ardeo answered simply, “And this here is the Great Chaos Fireball spell! I learned it from the Fair Lady of Blighttown.”

Chaos Fire? Fair Lady? Blighttown?? I admit I am rather curious about Ardeo’s origins but I can’t help but feel… apprehensive about asking. The way Ardeo holds himself, and their can be no question regarding his gender now, screams of a warrior baptised by the flames of combat and death. And judging by his resurrection earlier not all those deaths were solely his enemies.

“Chaos Fire!? Tia, he might be in league with Discord!” Lulu whispers to me quickly.

“Calm yourself Lulu.” I gently chided, “We long rooted out Discord’s allies and sympathizers. I believe it to be a simple coincidence.”

Lulu didn’t looked convinced, but accepted the truth of my words. After we sealed Discord we spent the better part of a century rooting out his followers and sympathizers. I look back to Ardeo, who had managed to banish the fireball, I wonder how he will affect Equestria? Maker, sometimes I wish I was gifted with the Sight like Mother was…

Funeral Dirge

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

Okay now this awkward silence is getting to me. Hmm what to do, what to do? Normally I enjoy the silence, back in Lordran silence meant nothing was currently trying to kill me. Here it’s just awkward, I mean it’s not often anything talks to me that isn’t trying to kill me so yeah I guess I can understand that but still!

“So… questions?” I offered, anything to end this gods damned silence.

Some of them looked more eager than others. The purple unicorn Twilight looked a burst with questions, Celestia looked to have a few as well. The smaller white unicorn also seemed curious about something, but I noticed she was more interested in my clothes then anything. The other ponies were silent, probably cause you know the whole “resurrection” thing. I dunno.

Wait? Where’s Luna??

“We hath a question for thou.” I did not jump and yelp from her sneaking up on me.

“Hmm? And what is it?” I wonder what she’s going to ask, “And can you please not sneak up on me? I’ve had a very bad time when people sneak up on me.” Hollow thieves, black phantoms, and gods knows what else.

“We shalt take thy advice into consideration.” I think we’ve got ourselves a playful pony princess, “And we art wondering, art thou a warrior monk of sorts?” Gods be damned why are these ponies so damned cute??

Wait. Me? A monk?  Yeah right! I couldn’t help but snort in amusement, making the other ponies except for Luna and Celestia jump. Damn skittish little things eh? Well, I guess I should answer the little princess then. But still… me? A monk? The gods sense of humor isn’t that bad I don’t think!

"A monk? I suppose I could be called that…” I pause in thought for a moment, “... But one who serves the people, rather than the gods. And only the people who have proved themselves worthy of serving." Wow listen to me, sounding all noble and stuff!

I guess it’s true really, I mean I do help other undead. Granted they still eventually go Hollow and try to kill me… but yeah I guess I do help. Hmm. I guess I’m not so much a remorseless rogue then huh? But then again… nah that Chester bastard was just asking for it! He bloody provoked me! And… I might’ve wanted his clothes… yeah that just sounds bad… best not mention that.

“Well then… I would request you to stay here?” I think my confusion shown, “I feel that you’d best adjust to being in this world away from larger cities.”

Damn, I hate it when logic is used against me. Mainly because it’s rarely done, what with most of the denizens of Lordran either Hollow or insane. I genuinely don’t want to stay here, and it’s not because of the ponies. If anything I rather like them; though I’m unsure if it’s just because they're so gods damned adorable or not. It’s just that this place… it’s just… gods how do I put it?

I opened my mouth to attempt some sort of counter-argument, but nothing came to me. Gods damn it, looks like I’ll be bunking with these ponies for the foreseeable future. I sighed, well it probably won’t be too bad. I mean between constant attacks in Lordran, being summoned to either the past or far future to assist undead, and having totally lost track of time I feel like I’ve been undead for centuries instead of maybe little over a year!

So maybe some downtime will do me some good?

“... Sure, what’s the worst that could happen?” I would later look back on this and call them my famous last words.

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

Eventually one of the ponies, Twilight I think, offered that this discussion would be a lot more comfortable in the Golden Oaks library instead of an old drafty castle. I think Luna was momentarily insulted at calling the castle “old” and “drafty” but caught herself. Probably had to remind herself that it’s been a thousand years, which kinda shocked me initial cause damn these winged unicorns age well, since she last walked Equestria.

Oh! Did I forget to mention that when Celestia teleported us, I fell flat on my back and Luna followed as well? Or position was rather provocative but she’s a pony and I’m not feeling it. So instead of teasing her I just helped her off me, all the while ignoring the snickering from Celestia and the other ponies.

I looked at the snickering Celestia and the other ponies with a quirked brow, “Really?” I drawled.

“I’m sorry Ardeo, Lulu.” Lulu eh welp that’s cute, “But you both looked so cute like that!” Sorry but I’m not into ponies… hmm I dub thee Celly however!

*pomf*

I looked over at Lulu, I like her nickname better, and see she’s all flustered and blushing. She’s also doing that weird extended wings thing again. What in the seven hells does that mean anyway? I think it over and just shrug it off, either someone will tell me eventually or I’ll figure it out on my own.

“So… where will I be staying? Also… how exactly will we explain my presence?” I asked deciding to get the discussion underway.

“*ahem* Yes, of course.” Celly cleared her throat, “You will actually be staying here if Twilight allows it.” She added after a moments thought.

“Okay. Question. Why?” I just need to know.

“Hmm… could you follow me Ardeo? Lulu, care to join us?” Celly said calmly.

I and Lulu nodded and followed Celly to the upper level of the library, that’s when I looked out a window and noticed a tree branch stretching away from the window. Now it took me a second to make sense of it, but we’re actually inside a damn tree! And it’s still alive!! I mean, I know magic is capable of some amazing stuff but… really?

“Please, in here.” Celly said motioning towards an empty room, unused guestroom perhaps?

Lulu and myself entered with Celly following closing the door. I turned to watch Celly then cast some spell, probably a privacy ward thing or something. I watched for a few more moments as Celly tested the ward somehow, before turning my attention back to her wanting me to stay in Ponyville.

Again it’s not because I dislike the place… I just don’t know how to explain it!

After making sure the privacy ward would do it’s job Celly turned back to me, huh. Before she looked so lively and stuff… now she looks worried? Gods… it brings up faint memories of a woman giving me that same worried look? Who is this woman? Bah doesn’t matter anyway!

“Now you were asking why earlier correct?” Yeah… I just asked like… five minutes ago, “Well to put it simply I’m worried about Twilight and her friends. Other than Fluttershy none of them have faced death before let alone kill anyone. I want you to help them through their guilt.” Huh… that makes sense actually… wait a minute!

“How in the seven hells is Fluttershy familiar with death? That pony looks like her own shadow could scare her half to death!” I really, really don’t understand that.

“Fluttershy is the only veterinarian here as well as an animal caretaker, she’s had to put animals to sleep when they’re in constant suffering.” Huh, the more you know eh, “She may recover the fastest, but I believe she will feel guilty over having a hoof in your death regardless.” And I’m lost again!

I think my confusion was showing cause Celly giggled due to my apparent cluelessness. Grumbling I look over at Lulu, however instead of listening in she was staring out the window towards Ponyville watching as ponies go about their daily routines. Gods, she looks so damn melancholy...

In all honesty my body moved on its own, cause the next thing I knew I’m standing beside a forlorn Lulu giving her a hug!

… I was then, I believe the proper word is bucked, across the room.

And it hurt. A lot.

I’ve never been kicked by a horse, but I can definitely say being kicked by a pony sucks! I’m just glad she didn’t shatter my ribs or something actually important… like my nuts!

I didn’t want to die so soon after reviving! I don’t think my ego could survive! It’s limp enough as it is...

“Oh Maker! Ardeo, we art so sorry!” You know… it’s nice when a princess is concerned about your wellbeing, “Thou art not hurt badly, art thou?” Gods I just can’t stay mad at the ponies apparently.

“Just *wheeze* my pride, princess.” Gods I feel like a Giant just drop kicked me, “Just… just give me second…” I wheezed as I reached into my bag, and pulled out my trusty Estus Flask, nothing like a big ol’ gulp of Gwyn’s Solar Discharge to perk me right up!

…I remember Solaire giving me odd looks when I told him that one before…

I, myself, thought it was both appropriate and funny!

As I laid there letting Estus my old friend fix me up I looked over at Celly; gods I think she’s either too easily amused, or secretly a sadist! After knocking back another slug of Solar Discharge, I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position. Putting my flask away, I stood back up and straightened out my clothes.

“...And yet despite that happening, I know I will hug ponies regardless… strange…” I drawled getting a laugh out Celly and a blush from Lulu.

“An interesting drink you have there Ardeo.” I looked at Celly, “That is concentrated sunlight, isn’t it?” I nod wondering what she’s getting at, “How do you plan on refilling it after you consume it all?”

… Gods… that’s actually a… damn good question? How in the seven hells am I going to refill my Estus? I mean I have plenty of healing supplies, divine waters and the like. Gods I hope I don’t have to resort to using those blasted mushrooms! They taste like… bleh! Something unpleasant to say the least!

“In Lordran: I refilled the flask at the bonfires, which are linked to the sun somehow. I haven’t the faintest clue.” I said with a shrug. I’m sure I was told a few times... but I don’t think I payed any attention, “Not sure how that’ll work here though since my link to the fire is gone.”

“Well if you let me I can study the flask and find out how to refill it myself, I am the Herald of the Sun. So I’m sure I could figure out how to fill your flask with concentrated sunlight, or possibly an equivalent.” Celly offered.

For some strange reason I have the feeling that this won’t be the last time I see this sort of generosity, call me crazy but that’s the feeling I’m getting.

“That would be perfect. Thank you princess.” I said gratefully, “I’d bow but I’m pretty sure you’d tell me not to.”

“And you are right.” Celly said smiling.

“Good cause I really don’t like bowing to anyone.” I said with a chuckle.

We all chuckled at that, or giggled in Celly and Lulu’s case, and decided to rejoin the girls downstairs. Quickly tearing down the ward Celly left the room with a giggling Lulu following closely, I followed after a few seconds. As I made my way back to the lobby I wondering how things were going to work here.

--->>>Twilight Sparkle<<<---

After the princesses and Ardeo left to talk I turned to the girls to check if they were alright. I mean we all just saw a po- person die! By our own hooves no less! Granted he got better, but still! Honestly, I know the only reason I haven’t had some sort of breakdown or anything is because I think I’m in shock.

I figure I got another couple hours until I’m a right wreck.

“Girls are you okay!?” I admit, I sounded a little panicky right there.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Maker, I honestly think Rainbow Dash’s element should’ve been the “Element of Overconfidence” ‘cause I think it’d suit her better.

Don’t get me wrong I like Rainbow Dash but her overconfidence can be a bit much.

“... Maybe because an hour ago we killed a living being! Then watched it resurrect into some sort of unholy mummy before our eyes!? Then bring itself back to the living by smashing some maker-damned wood onto his head!?!? HOW DOES THAT MAKES ANY BUCKING SENSE!?!?!?!?!?” Okay… I think I’m a little stressed out…

“Woah nelly there Twi! Just simmer down there, no need to get angry!” Maker bless you Applejack, I think I know who’s going to be one of the voices of reason in this friendship, “Just simmer down there. We can ask the feller when he comes back down.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and slowly exhale, I repeat this over a dozen times before I feel the slightest bit in control of my emotions. Opening my eyes I decide to get the thoughts of the quietest amongst us; Fluttershy.

I look over and trot over to the shy pegasi; the poor mare is cowering under the table. I stop myself from sighing, Maker how can anypony be so shy or timid, just how!? With a light snort I decide to gently coax the timid pony from her hiding spot.

“Fluttershy? It’s okay nopony’s going to get you.” I said as gently as I can, “Celestia won’t let anything happen to us.”

Over the next five minutes I coax Fluttershy from her hidey-hole. After the pegasi was away from the table I gave her a look over. Other than her mane and coat being ruffled, she looked absolutely fine. But I’m still worried ‘cause she’s the single most soft spoken gentle mare I’ve ever met! I fear how she’ll handle the guilt of killing somepony would cause.

“Are you okay Fluttershy?” I said softly, “It’s not your fault what happened to Ardeo.”

Fluttershy fidgeted and looked at me, she was crying! Why is she crying? I was about to ask if she was hurt but Fluttershy pulled me into a hug and cried into my neck. I couldn’t do anything other than let her cry, sometimes it’s best to let somepony cry themselves out. Eventually Fluttershy stopped, her cries now hiccups.

“Are you okay Fluttershy?” I ask while I hugged her.

“It’s just… did we hurt him? Everypony could hear bone snap when he hit the pedestal!” Fluttershy said softly.

“I’m sure he knows we didn’t do it on purpose.” I said to reassure the timid pegasi.

Figuring Fluttershy would be fine for now I looked over at the silent Pinkie Pie. That straight mane and tail just doesn’t… seem right for such a bubbly pony. I trotted over to Pinkie and notice she looked utterly devastated, like somepony told her the Toothpony doesn’t exist or something!

“Pinkie? Everything’s going to be fine now.” I said to the questionably sane party pony.

“I know Twi. Do you think he’d appreciate a ‘Sorry For Killing You Accidently And Welcome to Ponyville and Elysium’ party?” Pinkie asked in a more subdued manner than her usual barely-coherent rambling.

Seeing as Pinkie was, well, Pinkie; if more subdued - which I’ll be honest scared the horseapples outta me - I turned to the only other pony in the room; Rarity. She didn’t look distressed at all, rather she looked like she was working out a puzzle. Curious? I trot over but Rarity beat me to the metaphoric punch.

“Darling do you think Ardeo will allow me to look at his clothes? It’s a rather dashing design.” She asked offhoofedly, “Also, do you think he’d let me design some clothes for him?”

Honestly a pony wouldn’t have to even know anything about psychology to know that Rarity is trying to distract herself from what happened. Unfortunately, it’s only a short-term solution; Rarity will have to face it sooner or later. However I honestly can’t bring myself to bring it up.

“I’m sure he would Rarity.” I said somewhat clumsily.

I could talk to Applejack but I really don’t think it’d help, same with Rainbow Dash really. I’ve only known the two ponies for a couple hours now and I already know they’re both one of those Maker-damned hardheaded ponies that’ll deny that anything is bothering them. Reminds me of my brother actually, I wonder how Shiny’s doing?

Deciding that instead of waiting for the princesses and Ardeo to return, I will lose myself in a good book. Hmm, now what do I want to read…? Hmm, this looks interesting!

How to Deal with Guilt: A Self-Help Guide

Really…? I sighed, might as well read it anyway. Maybe it’ll help me with the girls. And with that I settled down to read until the princesses and Ardeo came back down.

--->>>Rarity<<<---

Though Rarity was loathe to admit it, least of all to herself, she was worried about how Ardeo would react to living so close to his killers. Ardeo seemed to be such an interesting creature, it’s a shame if he hated them all for killing him. Of course Rarity could understand that.

Which is why Rarity is trying so hard to distract herself by planning out a possible wardrobe for Ardeo, if he’ll allow Rarity to make him one that is.

“Oh I do hope he doesn’t hold what happened against us- stop it Rarity! Just don’t think about it!” Easier said than done, Rarity would later muse.

Rarity’s ear flicked pulling her out of her thoughts, turning around she watched as the princesses and Ardeo rejoin them.

“My… I think it’s going to be rather jarring having two princesses instead of one.”Rarity realized.

“Well I guess I’m staying here for the foreseeable future, question is where exactly am I going to be staying?” Ardeo asked.

Rarity too wondered where he would stay. As much a gentlecolt he seems Rarity simply couldn’t put him up alongside her sister! And while Ardeo seems like a perfectly responsible being… Rarity couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that he’ll be a hooffull when he’s bored.

“Well if you haven’t any problems you can stay here me and Spike!” Twilight offered sounding excited, which was rather strange as just minutes earlier she was extremely agitated.

“Strange, I never took Twilight as the sort of pony that has mood swings.” Rarity thought somewhat concerned.

“Okay, but who’s Spike?” Ardeo asked curiously, “Oh, and do any of you have questions?”

--->>>All encompassing third person<<<---

“Here we go.” Everypony sans Twilight thought in unison.

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

“Oh hold on. Spike! SPIKE!! GET DOWN HERE!!” Gods for such a little thing she’s got some strong lungs!

I watched curiously as a small lizard creature stumbled down the stairs, what in the world? I think my confusion showed again as Twilight took on a somewhat stern lecturer tone. And don’t ask how I know how to identify the tone cause I don’t remember how I know.

“This is my number one assistant Spike! He’s a baby dragon!” Dragon? Seriously?

I looked over Spike; I just don’t see it. But then again the only other dragon I’ve ever seen is the Everlasting Dragon in the Great Hollow, and the Hellkite drake that incinerated my ass in the Undead Burg. And Spike most definitely has nothing in common with that gods be damned Gaping dragon, and if Spike even knew what that was he’d be thankful!

But then again, new world so I shouldn’t expect dragons to be similar to what I know.

“What Twilight? I was trying to sleep.” Baby dragon right? Well honestly he sounds like a teenager.

“I want you to take notes!” Twilight said smiling at Spike.

Spike grumbled and pulled a quill and some parchment from… somewhere? Huh… how the hell did he do that? Hmm… I’ll ask Twilight about that later.

“Where are you from?” Twilight asked curiously.

“Well originally I’m from the Great Swamp.” I answer simply, “But I was summoned, for the lack of a better word, from Lordran. The Land of the Gods.”

“Did the Gods like parties there!?” Oh gods she back to ‘normal’ again. Well, to be honest I found her quite disturbing with that straight mane and tail. I have no idea why though?

Did the Gods like parties? Huh, well they probably did at one time before the Fire started dying. Man now that I actually think of it, I wonder how many unaware undead were tricked into playing martyr only to fail? Kinda depressing to think of actually.

“They did at one time I suppose.” I answer honestly.

Pinkie grinned and started to bounce around; literally that is. Gods what is wrong with this creature? Is it even a pony to begin with? Nothing should have that much energy damn it!

“What kind of fashion did you have in Lordran darling?” Fashion? Did she actually ask that?

Aside from armor? Whatever you could find really. But then there were some that felt that clothing as well as armor were optional and preferred to run around in their undergarments! Gods I’ll never forget that one time I was invaded by that nudist black phantom. Single most humiliating death I ever experienced!

“Nothing really. What I’m wearing I was lucky to find.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Rarity seemed rather put out by that, gods now I feel bad. But it’s the god’s honest truth! Hmm, maybe if I let her inspect what I’m wearing? After she makes me something to wear in the meantime, ‘cause these are all I got.

“What’s the most awesome thing you’ve ever done?” Oh gods the stories I could tell you Rainbow Dash.

“Well… hmm… let me think for a minute.” Sif? No, that’d make Fluttershy sad and I feel bad about it myself, hmm how about this one! “Well… I sought the help of Hawk-eye Gough, a Giant archer, to wing a black dragon called Kalameet. After the dragon was grounded I traveled to where it landed to slay it.” Gods I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so interested, “After I got there we clashed! Sword against talon, his flames against mine, his strength against my nimbleness! I died about… thirty-seven times before I managed to slay the dragon.” I finished.

“Sooo coool!” Did I just imagine things or are their actual stars in her eyes?

“YOU’RE A DRAGON SLAYER!?” Spike screeched before hiding behind Twilight. Wow, I kinda feel like a jackass now.

I looked around and noticed Twilight and her friends, except Rainbow Dash, seemed rather… unsettled over my slaying a giant dragon that was heart-set on turning me into a light snack. I glanced over at Lulu and Celly, they seemed rather understand. Apparently the dragons here aren’t as good natured as Spike is. Hmm… I think I shouldn’t mention the Hellkite drake then.

Or the fact I made weapons out of the tails of all the dragons I’ve met.

“Yes, however I will have you know that Kalameet was heart-set on eating me, and has killed thousands before me. And while I am undead and can’t stay dead I can tell you that dying is extremely painful.” I said somewhat defensively.

Twilight looked at the cowering dragon and gave him a stern look; again I remember being on the receiving end of one of those looks but I dismiss it.

“What kinda food do you eat?” Oh gods… how does one say ‘souls, with a side of god’ and not sound like a monster?

“...Well the truth is… I haven’t ate since I gained the Darksign and became undead.” Just… bending the truth a little, “In fact aside from extreme pain I’ve always been kinda numb.” Sort of an exaggeration of the truth.

Applejack gave me a rather odd look, gods I hope she can’t tell I’m bending the truth! Whereas the other girls looked at me with nothing but concern and sympathy. However Celly and Lulu give me a look that says “You will tell us the entire truth later” to me. Fluttershy looked to be moments away from crying, then to the shock of everyone including me I found myself being hugged by the timid pegasi.

I rather awkwardly returned the hug, petting her mane. Mmm… these hugs are rather pleasant!

“How canst thou live such a horrid and wretched life?” Lulu asked both horrified and curious.

I pulled away from Fluttershy to answer her but stopped, gods… what is this weird feeling? And why do I have the urge to… sing?

Youtube Video

Music began to play out from every direction, as I felt the urge begin to take hold, “Well if I were to give you an example…” I said before the urge to sing overcame me.

Your journey it began because

YOU **DIED.**

Out of your cell you ran and then

YOU **DIED.**

You pause to catch your breath

And die another gruesome death

So now you creep around each corner **terrified**

Humanity restored and then

YOU **DIED.**

A graveyard to explore...

HAHA **DENIED.**

For every step you take

Is just one more fatal mistake

So you must learn to take the torture in your stride

Bells chime torment

Darkest descent

Every soul spent

To doom sent...

Down in the depths of the dead

Feel the agony

Scars from a thousand wounds

In your memory

Over and over

Grind through the butchery

Once more you'll run this

Gauntlet of misery

“Surely there was some good at least…?” Celly asked in trepidation. I turned to face her and continued to sing.

Look to the sun's rays

Behold and offer praise

Look to the sun's rays

Comfort in the glow

Celly seemed to take some small pleasure from that, which quickly turned sour as I continued.

Brave you may be

You think that your mind is tough?

Come have a go

If you think you're hard enough

Dive into death

Embrace all the treachery

Learn to enjoy

The bloodshed and butchery

Bells chime torment

Darkest descent

Every soul spent

To doom sent...

Once more you *DIED.***

--->>>Luna<<<---

My jaw dropped as Ardeo sang; the music was both intimidating and haunting. But the lyrics painted a most unpleasant picture of Ardeo’s homeland. Though when Ardeo called out my sister in his song, I found it to be most amusing! If he wasn’t singing at the time I would’ve cackled like a madmare!

After Ardeo finished he coughed, “What… was that?” He asked clearly perplexed. Do they not know of the Music of Harmony in Lordran?

“That was the Music of Harmony, Ardeo.” Oh, I think Sister’s a mite bit upset!

“Is that what made me sing? And I guess the music was a part of it as well?” Ardeo said dryily.

I think I best calm my Sister before she pouts any harder. With a light giggle I opened a two-way telepathic link with my Sister.

“Sister, calm thyself. ‘Tis his first experience with the Music of Harmony. Do not begrudge him over calling you out.” I believe this memory will amuse me for centuries to come!

“I am calm Lulu, but… did he really have to do that?” Oh Maker, she’s pouting so hard!

“Thou knows he didst not mean it Sister. The magic was in control.” Please Sister, please stop pouting!

She did stop pouting, thank the Maker, and I looked over to a very amusing site. My Sister shared my amusement as well. Ardeo, flat on his back, in the middle of a pony pile! The Elements were hugging and cuddling him as hard as they could! No doubt trying their best to make him feel welcomed!

Either that or they’re trying to suffocate him.

“Girls, I appreciate your… uh… affections but…” Ardeo grunted, “...Can I please get up? Oh and Twilight, why is Spike glaring at me?” Oh… oh Maker… this is just… priceless!!

I and my Sister looked at each other before leaning against each-other laughing like madmares!

“Hey! Celly and Lulu! You two cackling loons!” I and my Sister looked over, “Gods damn it help me out here! While pleasant, I do not want to be cuddled to death!” And that sent me and my sister into even more hysterics.

Ponyville in a Nut(cracker)shell

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

After Lulu and Celly saved me from death by cuddles, cackling all the while, the two left to do… whatever it is pony princesses do. But not before Celly asked for my Estus flask to study, I do hope she finds a way to refill it; for whatever reason I have a feeling I’ll need it.

Then the rest of the girls also left to do whatever it is they do.

Leaving me with an inquisitive Twilight and a terrified dragon.

Oh joy of joys!

I looked at Twilight, who was giving me some… interesting looks. Honestly I think she wanted to dissect me or something. Gods I hope not! Though at least if it does happen at least it’s an adorable pony and not one of those fucking Butcher bitches from the Depths!

“So… I’m guessing you want to talk more right?” She nodded her eyes never blinking. Ok I’m starting to get a little freaked out here.

“So… ask away…” Gods I’m sooo going to regret saying that…

And regret it I did.

The next hour I struggled explaining not only the pantheon of my world, excluding the fact I’ve eaten most of their souls, how the various countries are divided, the political climate what ever the fuck that is, and finally attempting to explain the nature of the Darksign and the my paradoxical existence as an undead.

Gods… my head just… aches!

“Is that all?” Please, please, please say yes!

“Well I think that’s enough for today.” What!? “Later I’ll draw up a proper list of questions and a schedule.” Why!? Gods why!?

Something tells me I’m going to love and hate living with this unicorn. Gods… why do I have such a weakness for cuteness?

--->>>All encompassing third person<<<---

“Sister?”

“Yes Lulu?”

“Why do we feel pity for Ardeo?”

“... Oh Maker damn it…”

--->>>Twilight<<<---

I pointedly ignore the look of dawning horror on Ardeo’s face, I don’t see what’s so terrifying. It’s only a few simple questions. With a shrug I look over at Spike, who is now laughing at Ardeo.

“Spike can you go make something to eat?” I look over at Ardeo, “What can you eat?”

“Hmm? Oh well… almost anything really.” I motion for him to continue, “Well I can’t eat hay, grass, and flowers.”

I look over at Spike and motion him to the kitchen, which he does. Maker… I’m really going to have to address his apparent fear of Ardeo… not that I don’t understand. I mean he’s a bucking dragon slayer that is virtually immortal. I mean who wouldn’t be terrified? But looking at him…

“Gods. Damn. Bloody. Hells.”

...I find it very difficult to imagine him as a warrior let alone monster hunter. What is he fussing over anyway? I trot back over to Ardeo, and see him digging through his bag. That defies all magical and scientific laws.

*twitch*

However before I could do any of those breathing exercises Princess Celestia taught me Pinkie Pie barged in, babbled something too fast for me to understand, and snatched Ardeo before dashing back out.

“Maker damn it…” I groaned, “Spike! Forget about making Ardeo anything! Pinkie’s no doubt going to drag him to a party!”

“Okay!” My faithful assistant replied, “Not that I was making him anything anyway…” He muttered which I still heard.

Maker… why did Ardeo have to tell that story? Why?

...I know it’s too early in the day but… Maker… I need a drink...

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

Honestly it happened so fast! One moment I was in the library (treebrary?), and the next I’m in the town square with a ecstatic Pinkie babbling faster than my ears can comprehend! All I could catch was “meeting ponies” and “party” the rest just sounded garbled!

“Pinkie… why did you drag me out here?” I asked dryly, well as dryly as I could after being dragged around like a ragdoll.

“To introduce you to everypony!” She chirped, she still sounded like a hyped up child but I could understand her now.

“...That’s kinda hard when everyone is scared off…” I said motioning towards the now deserted town square.

Pinkie’s face scrunched up in this painfully adorable manner as she looked around the deserted town square, “Oh come on!” She shouted.

I chuckled and mussed Pinkie’s mane, “It’s alright. They’ll come around eventually.” I said soothingly whilst chuckling.

The pink pony pouted and I laughed; then I blinked and she was on my shoulders. Damn she’s fast! Holding on to my forehead, my hat now on her head, she pointed towards this large building made of… gingerbread? … Will I ever stop being surprised by this world? Probably not, but a guy can hope right?

“Onward to Sugarcube Corner!” That’s the places name? Gods… my teeth already ache!

“Yes, milady.” I joked making the bubbly pony giggle.

Gods… I am so glad I used most of the souls I ever collected to make myself stronger. Cause if I were a regular human I’m pretty sure I would’ve collapsed when Pinkie appeared, more or less, on my shoulders.

--->>>Carrot and Cup Cake<<<---

Carrot sighed, today’s an unusually slow day. Well by Ponyville standards anyway.

“Hun? Do you know where Pinkie is!?” Carrot called to his wife.

“She’s out spending time with her new friends!” Cup Cake answered from the kitchen.

Carrot sighed, having forgot about that, but he’s  glad that Pinkie made some new friends. Ever since she showed up in Ponyville Carrot as well as his wife saw the filly as one of their own. So you can imagine how terrified Carrot as well as Cup Cake were when they heard Pinkie went off into the Everfree with her new friends after Nightmare Moon.

“This is where I work! I help the Cakes make all sorts of wonderfulicious, superific, goodies!” Ah there’s Pinkie!

“Pinkie can you go and help Cup in the ba-” Carrot stared, slack jawed, at the giant creature with Pinkie on its shoulders.

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

Huh, my first pony that isn’t one of the “Bearers of the Elements of Harmony” well… I am not impressed. Lanky and scrawny, honestly I’m surprised he’s standing. And I’m assuming he’s male due to different facial structure.

*thud*

Annnd he just passed out. Fainted? Whatever. I absentmindedly removed Pinkie from my shoulders and we both approached the unconscious stallion. Pinkie tried to gently wake the stallion by shaking him and calling his name. Me? I just watched somewhat caught between amused and annoyed.

Seriously the way he just fainted you’d think I barged in howling like a demon, the Gravelord Greatsword at the ready, come to collect his soul or something!

In all honesty I’ve only done that once; when I invaded another undead in a parallel world. Though when I look back at it I sum it up to temporary insanity. I mean I charged the guy bare-ass naked with a Gravelord Greatsword, screaming like a psychotic demon. He was so shocked I don’t think he even realized I split him in two!

Easiest invasion I’ve ever done!

Hmm? Oh he’s waking up! Well then let’s see what he’ll do now. He better not faint again! Seriously that’s bloody annoying!

“M-MONSTER!”

What you gonna do abo- urk! While no where near as strong as Lulu I’m flung back. As I cup my bruised, and quite possibly ruptured, goods I see what little of my life I can remember flash before my eyes. Damn… that was short…

“Ardeo!” Pinkie scrambled over and tried her best to help.

Would’ve helped more if I had my trusty Estus but I gave that to Celly.  Letting out a choked gasp I reached into my bag, which never leaves my side, and I grasped a Divine water. I chugged it down with little hesitation, I almost moan as I could feel the damage to my goods slowly repairing.

Which is odd as normally it’s instant. Huh could this worlds ambient mana be slowing the restorative properties of my healing items?

Something to think of later. Preferably when I’m not in agony or on the end of a terrified/angry pony willing to possibly rupture and/or destroy my masculine pride and joy. I mean sure I don’t want kids, which is kind of a moot point now in a world of ponies, but doesn’t mean I want to be a gods damn eunuch!

“Mr. Cake! What the buck is wrong with you!?” Wow, I think this is the first time Pinkie as possibly ever broke her hyperactive childishness!

The pink pony quickly trotted over to worry over me but I waved her off, all I need now is a bit of time to recover. Not physically, the Divine water took care of that, but to contain my growing anger. Celly, and possibly Lulu I’m not entirely, sure would be upset if she saw me conjure a massive firestorm to incinerate this town. Or at least this building

And believe me, I really want to burn something right now!

I clenched my right hand, which I wore my Pyromancy Flame, and fought down the urge to light the stallion that bucked my balls on fire. That most certainly wouldn’t help my reputation!

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out I look up and noticed Pinkie hovering over me worried. Heh, cute. I reach up and mess her mane before slowly forcing myself to stand, ignoring the twinges of pain as my goods shifted around. Gods… that sucked so bloody much!

“Why? Why in the seven bleeding bloody bowels of hell would someone do that!?” I admit I was feeling the need to be dramatic at the time.

Yeah… my day was off to a rollicking good start!

...At least I haven’t died yet…

--->>>Celestia<<<---

I gracelessly flopped onto my bed; my dear sister following my example in short order. It has been a long day. Being sealed away in the sun, coming back to find Lulu purged of the Nightmare, mourning over the ‘death’ of Ardeo, then witnessing Ardeo’s resurrection, and everything else!

And then there was reinstating Lulu as Princess as well as restarting the Night court! And the less said about the nobles the better!

Honestly I think rambunctious foals are more reasonable than the nobles!

“Sister what art thou thoughts on Ardeo?” Lulu asked sleepily.

“He’s a pleasant being… despite being undead.” I respond softly.

It’s no secret to anypony but of all magical arts, the Black arts included, there’s one I loathe above all; Necromancy, the magic of the dead. Truly a most perverse and vile art, to think it was originally a type of divination that was twisted and perverted by foul mages. However of all necromancers I have encountered the most vile is the Rebel King Sombra of the Crystal Empire. Well him and his even more vile teacher Grogar!

How he used his magic to enslave the souls of the crystal ponies; living and dead alike.

“Sister, don’t frown thy face shalt stick that way.” I sighed, thinking of necromancy and Sombra always put me in a foul mood it seems.

“I’m sorry Lulu, just remembering things that I wished I wouldn’t.” And there’s so much I wish I could forget!

Lulu simply nodded and we fell silent. Most would find it uncomfortable but between Lulu and I? It allows us a moments peace and to simply relax, how I missed her these moments the last thousand years! I remember when we were fillies, how we would come home from a long day of playing in the forest, we would simply fall onto either one of our beds!

“*sigh*...Come on Lulu. It’s time to set the sun. Let’s see if you haven’t lost your touch.” I teased.

“I hast not lost mine touch!” Lulu protested.

I simply giggled and trotted to the balcony with Lulu nipping at my hooves. Oh I’m so glad to have you back my dear, dear sister!

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

*sigh* Yeah, have getting a buck to the balls… my day kinda snowballed from there. In fact I think the only highlight of my day was getting a cupcake from Pinkie! Man… that was sooo gods damned good! The last time I ever had anything so delicious was… huh? Actually… when was the last time I ever physically consumed something that wasn’t Estus or souls?

That’s… actually kinda depressing actually…

...Moving on…

Aside from that disastrous meeting with Mr. Cake, if only that little shit knew how close he was to being incinerated, my day just… ugh! I honestly don’t want to think about it, in fact other than the six “Bearers” I can honestly say I’m starting to dislike this bloody town!

Of course I couldn’t tell that to Pinkie cause then her mane and tail would go straight and that kinda freaks me out. Why? I haven’t a clue all I know is that Pinkie not being happy is utterly unnatural and mildly terrifying for some reason.

“Ardeo? Why is Pinkie sad!? And why are you limping!?” I give Twilight the deadest deadpan I can give without actually dying.

“This town is filled with cowardly, xenophobic, ponies.” I grumbled, “And apparently not even a party can draw them out of hiding…” I add sourly.

With my peace said I entered the library (treebrary?) and immediately sit down on the pony-sized couch. Uncomfortable yes, but I honestly don’t give a good gods damn right now. Pinkie followed my example, her mane and tail deflated, but instead she planted herself in my lap.

Then without realizing it I started to pet her mane.

I was pulled outta my daze when I heard, and felt, someone purring. Blinking I looked down to see Pinkie, her mane and tail back to normal, purring like a giant pink fluffball of a cat that isn’t planning on eviscerating me.

Darkroot Basin, don’t ask.

I chuckled, “Come on Pinkie. You’ve gotta go and make sure Mr. Cake don’t stir up a lynch mob.” Not that I believe he could.

Pinkie groaned but got off my lap regardless. She did however give me a hug for cheering her up, how I did it I’m not sure, and sedately made her way back to Sugarcube Corner. Or as sedately as a perpetual sugar-rush can that is. I chuckled, then I noticed Twilight looking at me with the oddest expression on her face.

“What?” I ask curiously.

“...Nothing.” Really now? It seemed like you were wanting some petting to me! “Anyway Spike and I got your room ready, follow me please.”

Oh thank the gods! I’m so damned tired!

Here I am laying in the most comfortable thing I’ve ever laid on, that I can consciously remember that is, and I can’t get to bloody sleep! I tried counting Hollows, which really doesn’t sound right but whatever, and meditation. However the situation was taken outta my hands when Twilight entered the room quietly.

She was all sorts of torn up! Red eyes and teary.

I pushed myself upright, ignoring the fact that Twilight started to blush seeing my naked chest.

“What’s wrong Twilight?” I asked quietly.

Twilight didn’t respond; in fact she looked to be struggling with something. That something became known when she suddenly barrelled into my chest and started crying saying she was sorry over and over again. I’ll admit for a few minutes I had no idea what she was going on about.

Then I remembered what Celly said to me, about most of these girls being unfamiliar with death.

Now here’s the question… how am I suppose to handle this? I mean… I’m not really the comforting sort. But well there’s a first time for everything right? I mean… how hard could it be right?

I tentatively wrap my arms around the crying pony and petted her mane trying to comfort her. Not sure if I’m doing a good job though.

--->>>Twilight<<<---

I haven’t cried like this since Shiny had to leave for basic training a couple years ago! I know rationally that Ardeo doesn’t hold a grudge over his death. From his stories Ardeo isn’t a stranger to dying do I know there is no grudge to be held. But tell that to your emotions!

But when he gave me a hug, a rather tentative one, and started to pet my mane I won’t deny the blush that bloomed on my muzzle.

“It’s okay Twilight, it was an accident. I’m not angry or anything at you or the girls.” Ardeo mustn’t be use to comforting anypony! He sounds so awkward!

“I-I know.” I choked out, “B-But you D-DIED! How can you f-forgive so easily?” Now this answer I really want to hear!

Ardeo fell silent, probably thinking over how to explain, but he didn’t ease up his hug or his petting. Eventually my crying eventually died down replaced by sniffles and hiccups. I pulled back a little, not breaking the hug, and looked at Ardeo. I absentminded thought that I must look like a mess, red eyes from crying, probably a runny nose. I bet Rarity would faint if she saw me!

“I can forgive you because what happened was an accident, plain and simple.” How can he brush of dying so easily!? “Besides I’ve died so many times it honestly doesn’t bother me anymore. Besides that was probably the most pleasant death I’ve ever experienced.” Pleasant!?

“How could dying be pleasant!?” I would’ve screeched but I didn’t want to wake Spike.

“Whatever that rainbow beam thing does it felt… warm. Peaceful even. I felt a calm I haven’t felt in a long time.” I… I totally didn’t take into account how the purifying and harmonic magics would affect Ardeo!

I didn’t say anything but returned to my previous position and Ardeo resumed his petting. I know I should feel insulted to being petted like a pet but still… it feel rather good. And besides it calmed me down to where I could ponder over how the Elements affected Ardeo. I’m somewhat ashamed that I didn’t think of it earlier!

I don’t know how much time passed but Ardeo pulled me out of my thoughts, “As much as I enjoy hugging you I think it’s best you get to bed.” I could almost hear his smirk!

I broke away, my blush which had faded returned with a fiery vengeance, and I trotted off quickly as Ardeo laughed.

”Maker, Ardeo is such an overgrown foal!”

--->>>Ardeo<<<---

Watching Twilight leave all ablush as I laugh was honestly just too gods damn cute! Laying back down, still laughing all the while, I started to think.

”Gods… I’m suppose to help the others as well!” The sudden enormity of the undertaking just hit me, as I doubt the others would be simple.

Okay… let’s think about this. Twilight? Well… while not done I don’t think I’ll have too much trouble really. Apple… something? Honestly… no bloody clue. She seems like one of those hard headed peop- ponies. Same with that rainbow maned one, what was her name anyway? Rainbow something. Bah whatever!

Now that white unicorn… Rarity I think. Now one that one’s going to be a pain. I don’t know jack about psychology and I can tell that pony is in denial of the worst sorts! Honestly if she hadn’t just been traumatised I’d probably think her denial to be rather amusing!

Then Pinkie… gods does anything really faze that pony-creature? I guess I’ll have to talk to her about it though. And it won’t be fun. Or maybe it will? I honestly don’t know for sure.

And then there’s Fluttershy… now that right there is a very appropriate name for such a timid pony!

I’ll be quite honest I think Celly’s crazy for saying Fluttershy is familiar with death! I mean… seriously? For gods sake even when I was Human the pony looked bloody terrified of me! Granted conjuring that Great Chaos Fireball probably didn’t help but still.

Gods… just go to sleep Ardeo! You’ll figure it all out as you go along.

Closing my eyes I allowed myself to relax.