Twilight's Suitable New Replacement

by Vengeful Spirit

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 1082

Celestia is dissatisfied with her student's current performance, so she finds a suitable replacement.

Celestia is dissatisfied with her student's current performance, so she finds a suitable replacement.

I was bored.
~Vengeful Spirit

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-14 16:20:03 UTC

You're Fired

"You're fired."

"What?" I asked, staring at my long-time friend and mentor in shock. What could she possibly be trying to teach me this time? The mare had often played at being subtle with her teaching methods, and I had grown quite skilled at detecting her games over the last several years.

"Just what I said; you're fired. I've found your progress unsatisfactory of late, and I have given you several warnings about your lack of diligence. You have disregarded all of my requests to properly use your title for what I intended when I gave it to you and have instead spent far too much time with those 'friends' I bought for you. Therefor I, Princess Celestia di Equestria do hereby rescind your status as an Alicorn and a princess."

My mind reeled as the words rolled off of her tongue. I could see her standing there, glaring down at me from her throne as she watched my growing terror. I was no fool; there was only one way in which an Alicorn could cease to be a princess.

"So you're going to take my powers, then?"

"Yes, and your position as the Element of Magic. I find that the bearers would have a much better leader in somepony else."

"So you've found a suitable replacement, then?" I inquired. I already had an idea of who would make a likely candidate for my replacement, though the thought of Trixie's satisfied sneer as she gloats made me want to gag. "Well given the circumstances surrounding my unexpected removal from office, will you at least give me the respect to tell me who in all of wide Equestria could possibly do my job better than me?"

"Why should I tell you when I could just show you? I can't hold on to your magic for too long, so I think you'll have plenty of time to become acquianted with her before I suck out all of your powers and send you back to magic kindergarten."

"You're s-sending me back?!"

"Of course, Twilight! It's the only suitable punishment for a foolish pony like yourself."

Oh this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all! I may have let my studies in magic slip a little, but there was no way that my skill had atrophied to the extent where I'd have to start from scratch. There must've been something I was missing!

"This can't be happening!" I shouted in frustration. "I know that my dissertation on the nature of harmonics and thermodynamics from a non-euclidean standpoint was a bit lack-luster at best, but how could that one failure possibly justify my current situation?!"

"The position of princess is the highest place of honor, Twilight Sparkle! If you make a single mistake, you are no longer qualified to rule. I am very disappointed in you, my former faithful student," Celestia stated with a firm expression. I withered under her stare, trying my best to stay strong. It wasn't working.

"Guards, bring in the replacement!"

I sat still, waiting for Trixie to come trotting through the doors with her usual haughty expression. I knew that she'd spot me fairly quickly, and I could already tell that she'd have quite the blast making fun of me after all of this. The worst part was that I'd be powerless to stop her; a princess can do whatever she wants after all.

"Thith ith thuper!" I heard a voice call out enthusiastically. My mind must've been taking this harder than I initially thought. Trixie may have been a bit on the slow side, but even she wasn't that inherently stupid. There was only one pony in all of existance with that much grey-matter lacking between her ears.

"T-twist?"

"Oh hi, Twilight! The printheth ith going to give me pretty wingth!"

No, this was worse than I thought. Trixe might've been an insufferable idiot, but at least her becoming a princess made a certain amount of twisted sense. Having a blubbering imbecile like Twist in a position of real power was the last thing I ever expected.

"Now stay still, Twilight," my mentor commanded, stepping down from her dais to stand in front of me. Even with my added growth, she towered over me the same way a pony towered over an insignificant ant on a carmel apple.

"This won't hurt," she said. "Much."

My vision was blinded by the feeling of my wings being ripped off of my back. I felt my bones shattering under the strength of her pull, my very ethereal essences being shorn from my soul. My eyes watered as I was left breathless under the onslaught.

"Oooh, they're tho pretty!"

The world slowly started to return to focus as my vision cleared, and I could see Twist standing next to me in a fully matured body. She stood tall and elegant, her frizzled mane now etherealized in a manner befitting an alicorn. She spread her gorgeous white wings, taking in the sight of her new limbs with apparent curiousity.

"I hope you're happy, Twilight Sparkle. I know that you've never truly loved me, but to go against my direction so blatantly leaves me ashamed to have ever called you 'friend'," I heard Celestia say. I looked up to find her form even more imposing than when I'd been an Alicorn. Instead of her usually friendly demeanor, a reproachful sneer was all she gave me.

"I'm s-sorry," I said, my eyes filling with unshed tears. "I'll accept whatever punishment you give me."

"Good, at least you'll have done something right with your life. Now then, it's time for Twist to practice her new magic."

"Oh goody!"

"Twist, turn her into a cup of coffee. I thirst for the bitter tears of useless foals!"

"Okay!"

And then I transformed into a balloon.

My breath caught as I woke up. It took several moment for me to start to recognize the difference between dream and reality, so I just sat there gasping for air. A quick glance around the room showed me that Spike wasn't in his bed. A few more moments and I became aware enough to remember that he no longer slept in the same room as me.

"Gods, but that dream was vivid," I muttered, pulling the sheets off of my sweaty body. I stood up, stretching my limbs before trotting over to the nearby phone.

Ring...ring...ring.

Click.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rainbow Dash..."

"You had that weird dream again, didn't you?"

The End