Zombism Is Magic

by DeathRiseRobo

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Random, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Fluttershy
Length: 3252

Twilight. Zombies. Bertha. Nuffield said.

Twilight Sparkle has been sent from Canterlot to Ponyville for survivors. They want to be friends, while Twilight wants to live. Then Twilight finds out her ride back to Canterlot is missing. She realizes the only way back is with a group. And with the help of these 6 ponies, a magical gun named Bertha, and Spike the commando, Twilight might be able to fight her way back to Canterlot, and stop the destroying of Equestria before it's too late.
**Slight Gore**

Published 2012-05-11 14:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-23 15:31:50 UTC

The Journey

This is my first fanfic! Written on an iPod! Expect a lot.

Author's Note: Comment on it! Even if it turns out terrible!

The Journey

Twilight was incredibly anxious. Nopony was ever assigned recon. Why did it have to be her? Recon was the most dangerous job she could have been stuck with! And she was alone... almost. Bertha (her gun) and the commando were both there.But recon was dangerous, even for the three of them. Your job in recon was to lay low, avoid zombies, and get survivors. But all attempts at recon, ever, had failed. Nopony had ever returned to Canterlot alive, and Ponyville was already infested. Rumor was, there were survivors. And that's exactly why Twilight was there. She had to pick up those survivors. And it was her first important mission, too. From the look of it, it was going to be her last. But this isn't the time for those worries. I have to get to Ponyville and back as quickly as I can. With luck I'll survive... maybe, she thought. Colonel Spike asked, "Where are we going, Twilite?" He always got her name wrong. Twilight didn't know why, but it made her sound like a cheap beer. She hated that. But now was not the time. After all, their target was in sight. "Where are we going?" Spike asked. "Why, I'm glad you asked. We're going to Ponyville!" Twilight said with forced enthusiasm. Spike blanched, his scales lying flatter against his sides. "Ponyville? You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking." At that, Twilight grew sober and looked away. "I wish I was, Spike. I wish I was."

Landings are always rough, but usually not this rough. They landed in the infested town square. Upon arrival, the zombies had no mercy. A horde of almost fifty were heading towards the cab which they had arrived in. Twilight and Spike knew when to run, but apparently, the driver didn't. Spike and Twilight both had the honor of watching the poor taxi driver have his body torn limb-from-limb, blood flying everywhere. Twilight thought his name was Rick. Poor, poor, Rick. And as they watched, they kept running. Because, once the zombies were done with Rick, Twilight and Spike would be the next ones to die a horrible death. Twilight made out the navigation spell for Ponyville. It was purple; the color of her magic. There was a safe house on Sweet Apple Acres. It held all the survivors, some food, and ammo. This was shown on the map as a dark purple dot. Her location was a light purple dot. She had to go west. Twilight told Spike to cover her as she calculated the route, slower then a GPS on crack. It looked as if she was dumbly staring at a magical map, which was, in fact, what she was doing. She could never get her thought process to work well, and her cutie mark sure wasn't navigation. This is going to take a while, Spike thought. And the zombies that devoured Rick were finally done with his carcass,so they headed towards Spike looking for fresh meat. Time to bring these zombies back to where they belong. IN HELL! Spike brought out his dual dragon-flame Uzis, a present from Twilight. The way the uzis worked was quite simple. Powered by dragon flame in the barrel, the ammo was infinite, and flame kills zombies. Twilight said something else about the guns, but Spike had stopped paying attention. The egghead was kind of boring, and she tended to go insane under pressure. Spike knew this better then anyone, since she had "accidentally" shot him with pressurized magic bullets. Those had given him deep scars that went all the way down to his chest, and he liked to call them "close encounters with zombies". EAT FIRE, ZOMBIES! the commando thought. Spike grabbed his uzis and loaded them with his flame. As soon as he pulled the trigger, green bolts of fire slammed against the zombie bodies, burning their worm-infested faces and evaporating them into thin air. Their tortured screams were Spike's lullaby. Soon, the entire horde was gone. And Twilight was bored just looking at the map.
It was time to go to Sweet Apple Acres.

As the duo arrived at the apple orchard, it was extremely quiet. They were supposed to find the barn. Twilight yet again opened the map, but Spike was navigating this time. Twilight+Map=lost time and a disaster, Spike thought. Spike was surprisingly good with a map, and, soon enough, that barn was in sight. It was a faded red, with a typical plywood roof. But it was HUGE. On the barn was a hand-built iron tower, random attachments (chainguns, rifles, etc.), and rooms. The rooms were a range of different sizes. This should be easy, Twilight thought. She walked over to the door and knocked. It was a plain old door, with a bolthole for security. The bolthole opened up, and Twilight saw 2 very spontaneous eyes.

And in a very cheerful voice, she heard,
"Who are you?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, and I'm here to bring your group to Canterlot."

The spontaneous-eyed pony added,

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

and opened the door to the inside of the barn.

What Twilight saw was an utmost surprise. Inside the barn, it was a haven for survivors, and a lot bigger on the inside then the outside.

There were ponies manning gatling guns. There were ponies doing target practice. There were ponies practicing first aid. There were ponies. And there were even ponies brushing their mane, as if there was no apocalypse.

"Wh-what is this place?"

Twilight stood stock-still, her mouth open in shock.
She stayed in that state for a few more seconds before knocking some sense into herself.

Role call, Twilight thought.

"This is Sweet Apple Acres, the best zombie killing training in all of Equestria. Of course , it's the only one in Ponyville, but that's beside the point." "Mmhmm." This from Twilight, as she listened to the apple-flanked pony. "Here, you can learn every aspect of zombie killing. That's my little sister over there at the commando knife station, my brother, Big Mac, at the physical defense station, and my good friend Fluttershy at the "Misuse of Medical Arts" station." Twilight watched as various ponys sliced, smashed, and dissected various zombie training dolls. "This is all very interesting, but I'm here on a mission." said Twilight.
The apple-flanked pony eyed her wearily.
"You that savior from fancy-schmancy Canterlot?"
Twilight gave a simple nod, and a big grin erupted on that pony's face.
"I'm Applejack, owner of this here center. And you are?"
"Twilight Sparkle. Now, if you could line up all the inhabitants of here, I'd like to do role call."
Applejack's grin grew even wider.
"Anything for you, Miss Sparkle."

And so Twilight got out the clipboard, and Applejack got the ponies into a line.
"This is Miss Sparkle, here to take us to Canterlot," Applejack proudly announced.
The ponies looked particularly happy on this mention, and Twilight started role call.
Celestia had given her a clipboard with all the survivor's names on it.

"Applejack I know is here. Big Macintosh?"

A red stallion muttered "Eeyup," and got back to beating the zombie training doll on the wall.

"Applebloom and Granny Smith?"

Now, a yellow filly preceded to run to Big Mac, along with an old codger with a rifle, and again the stallion muttered "Eeyup."

"Pinkie Pie?"

A pink pony with a pink mane bounced over to Twilight and began an endless stream of words.
"I'm Pinkie Pie. Who are you? Are you a new pony? I love new ponies. I opened the door for you, don't you remember? Do you like parties? I love parties. What kind of streamers do you like? Zombie entrails? Livers? Because if-"
"CAN YOU BE QUIET?!?!" yelled Twilight .

"Okie-dokie-lokie! I love the quiet game. But I'm not very good at it. Are you good at it? I once knew a pony-"
"Pinkie Pie, check," said Twilight, leaving the pink-haired party pony to her rambling.

"Well, I'm done checking up on everyone. It's time to get this show on the road," said Twilight. "Do you have any vehicles for the journey?"

"Journey? We're not ready for a journey." said Applejack.

"What? But it's my mission to bring you back!" said Twilight.

"I know," said Applejack. "But we don't have any vehicles. So I'm sorry, but we can't go."

Twilight brandished the map Celestia had given her. "On this map, a military depot is clearly marked two miles west of here. Surely there's something of use there."

Applejack ground her teeth. "Missy, when are you going to listen to me when I tell you we don't have enough weapons, food, or tank fuel to make a journey to Canterlot?"

Twilight smiled. "So there's a tank, huh? That will be very useful to Celestia."

Applejack stared, then yelled in frustration. "You stay right here, you understand me? I will personally assign you a guard, who will make sue you do not leave this facility! If you do for any reason, then you can wait for your princess's aid out there with the zombies! Do you hear me?!?"

Twilight nodded, and she looked so sincere anyone who didn't know her would believe her. They might even have also have noticed her replacing herself with a magic doppelganger and sneaking out one of the smaller side entrances.

Twilight walked down the street, destroying zombies as she went. There were surprisingly few. She didn't even need Spike, which was good. He'd stayed back at the safehouse, staring entranced at a purple-haired pony manning a gatling gun, with a slightly insane grin on her face. As she walked, she spoke various magical commands; "Burst!" "Inflate!" "Penguin!" to take care of the few zombies out there. I wonder why Applejack wanted to stop me, she thought. There are barely any zombies. But why is that? Is there another pony safehouse or- A horrible thought occured to her at that moment, but she didn't get time to recognize it. Because at that moment, a 1000-pound something slammed into her with the force of a freight train. But if she actually thought it, it would have gone something like this: Or what if there are no zombies here because there's something worse?

The Hunt

The second part of Zombism is Magic. Hope you like.

The Hunt

As Applejack sat in the command center of the Ponyville zombie defense safehouse, she wondered what had happened to Twilight.
"Should we go after her?" said Spike.
"Probably." said Applejack. "No matter how good she is, she can't take on a full horde of zombies. Which way did she go?"
"Thataway." said Spike, pointing to the right.
Applejack paled. "Oh no," she said. Suddenly, she began to shout orders.

"CODE APPLE! I REPEAT, CODE APPLE!"
The barn began to glow red. Ponies frantically ran in all directions, grabbing ammo, guns, and that strange purple thingy that no one can figure out how to replicate, but turns zombies inside out.
"What's wrong?" said Spike.
"Well, it seems that your friend has walked into the only territory in Ponyville without zombies." said Applejack.
"Then isn't that good?" said Spike.
Applejack looked at him, fear in her eyes. "Twilight hasn't walked into safety. She's in the territory of the Dogs of War."
Dogs of War? Never heard of the Dogs of War, Spike thought.
"Who are these Dogs Of War?" Spike asked.
"I'll explain on the way." said Applejack. Suddenly a huge grinding noise filled the air. "I'm afraid we weren't completely forthright with you," said Applejack. "But there's time for that later. Right now, we need to save your friend." And with that, she leapt into the assault tank that had been driven out of an enormous hatch in the wall. " Well, come on," she said. "We're gonna need backup."

Twilight was dazed from the impact of the whatever-it-was into her, but like any good soldier, she immediately began to think of the advantages of her and this unidentified warrior. Let's see... My advantages: none. This thing's advantages: size, strength, surprise, and prior knowledge of this ambush. Time to open my eyes and see how bad things are. So Twilight opened her eyes and saw... a hideous, misshapen, thing, with an enormous mouth, a set of vicious claws, and overdeveloped muscles. Noticing she had awakened, it growled and gnashed at her. Twilight momentarily tried to use a spell on it, but the creature noticed the gathering purple energy and swiped it aside like it was tissue paper. Twilight gasped, but then tried a different approach. " Excuse me? I'm sorry, but would you mind getting off my chest? I kind of need to breath, and-" She was cut off as the dog/creature/thing howled at her. She quickly realized that the polite approach wouldn't do it. "All right, buster! Get off of me this instant or I'll throw another spell at you that'll make the last one look like-" Unintimidated, the thing roared again and then reared back for the kill. Twilight gulped and did the only thing she could: screamed. Then, just as the creature lunged for her, it was thrown off by a burst of glowing artillery with a surprised yip! As it flew back, Twilight recognized the glow of magic bullets. She turned her head to see a tank with Applejack peering out from the top.
"Twilite!" Spike called. Twilight recognized that voice. And even if she hadn't, she would have known who it was. Spike was the only one who would call her that in a crisis situation. "We have to hurry!" he said, as he helped her up.
"Why the rush? It's not as if that thing will be getting up with a full clip of magic bullets in it," Twilight added. The creature took the opportunity to prove her wrong by standing up and letting out another keening howl, only to be knocked back down by a clip of magic bullets from the same purple-haired pony with the gatling gun that Spike had fallen for in the training center.
"Twilight!" said Applejack. "Someone help her! Fluttershy!" A yellow pony raced up to her.
"Got it." She then raced for Twilight, swooping her up toward the tank.
"Hey, put me down!" said Twilight.
"Not a chance." Twilight began to thrash. "Hey! Stop that! You know how bad you're hurt?" Twilight didn't answer, only thrashing more. "Oh, that's it!" Swooping for the deck, the yellow pony slammed Twilight down.
"Could you please be a little more gentle with the patient, Fluttershy?" yelled Applejack as she ran for the tank's gun.
Ignoring her, Fluttershy began yelling at Twilight. "All right, missy! You got four slashes in your hide and you ain't going to get yourself killed until I've stitched 'em! Is that clear?!?" Twilight suddenly realized the truth in the pony's statement. The creature's claws had left four deep wounds in her side that were pouring blood. Shocked, Twilight started to slip into unconciousness from the anesthetic that Fluttershy had just injected her with. The last thing she said before succumbing to unconciousness was, "I thought you didn't have any vehicles!"
But before that, the last thing she heard was, "Fluttershy, that's the wrong dose of anesthetic!"

Twilight awoke in an infirmary bed, and said without opening her eyes, "I thought you didn't have any vehicles."
She opened them to Applejack blushing. "Well.. it was a half-truth."
"Half-truth?!?" It was an outright lie!"
"Well, how do you fit an army of ponies into one tank?!?!"
"True..." said Twilight, thinking. "Wait... let me contact Princess Celestia. I'm sure she'll have an answer."
"Okay..." said Applejack.
Twilight's message was simple and quick. Only one vehicle. Severe zombie numbers. Please help.
Celestia's response came quickly:

My faithful student,

I sent you that taxi driver to get you back; his name was Rick, I think.
If he died,
I don't feel like sending you a new one.
lolol.

Lord of Doom and 1000-year Dictator,
Princess Celestia

Applejack leaned over Twilight's shoulder to read the letter.
"What does it say?"

Twilight frantically ripped up the letter and blushed.

"N-nothing! Nothing at all!"

Applejack eyed the hospitalized pony carefully.
"Y'all sure about that?"
Twilight nodded her head as fast as she could, and sighed.

"Applejack, we have a problem. There's no way to get back."

At this, Applejack's face lighted up, and she opened her mouth for a suggestion.
"Why don't we get Zecorah to help us? She's a potions expert! She might even be able to make a cure!"
Twilight's eyes started tearing up, and her face frowned.
"Negative, Applejack."
Now Applejack frowned.
"Why not, Twilight?"

Twilight sighed yet again, and said;
"Because there is no cure."
Twilight's head fell into her hooves, and she moaned.
"Because... I made it."

The Confession (PART 1)

We're on the 3rd chapter now! I would really appreciate comments and likes!

The Confession

Applejack's jaw dropped. "Y-you mean..."
All Twilight could muster was a small nod.

Twilight sighed, yet again.
"Applejack, there's something I have to tell you."
"What?"
"About... my past."

5 years ago...

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm glad to inform you that the spell I've been asked to retrieve for you is in my possession. The spell D-119 is in my possession, though, the contents seem rather hazardous. In your letter to me, you had quite an eccentric tone. Comments such as "rebuilding the world" and "what they deserve" seemed quite unsettling. But back to the topic. The spell contained quite a few elements of magic you strictly forbid, such as the element of plague and the Ununoctium mentioned (which is quite hazardous and radioactive), and as I've researched, can raise the dead if done incorrectly. I hope this is in your best wishes, as I've gathered the test subject and Zecora, the lab assistant I've been asked to bring. She's really knowledgeable.
The test subject's a white stallion, and he's currently restrained to the table.
Spike has left for your castle, as you ordered.
In the chance I don't return, have this letter burned and all memory of me erased.

Your (unsettled) faithful student,

-Twilight Sparkle

Twilight stood horrified with the zebra shivering behind her. The once-white mare had his coat much down the spectrum to a sickly black, and had broken from the table.
He was charging towards Twilight.
"HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!," Twilight screamed.
She ran to the door, but it was locked, and the crazed test pony was still running towards her.
She couldn't use magic; that spell had drained her out.
This was the end.
Twilight slumped, and accepted her fate as prey to her own spell.
The tester bit into a shoulder; but it wasn't Twilight's.
It was the zebra's.

"Run along, my little youth! For eventually, you'll learn the truth."

Applejack had softened; she was close to crying.
"Twilight, I'm sorry. She was a great pony. But Celestia... Someone ought to teach her a lesson."

Twilight only nodded, and asked the one question she needed to know.
"Applejack, there's a pony on the list I couldn't find by the name of Rainbow Dash."
All the softness in Applejack was gone; now she was again as hard as a rock.
"Twilight, you know how a rainbow is rare? It's pure. But zombies aren't pure.
The only pure one's the leader."