I never thought there would be a time when I would say goodbye or drift away from my best friends, and number one assistant. I always denied the fact that there would be a time for a passing of each of my friends, a time when Spike would grow up, and set out to find a mate, and live a life a dragon is supposed to ... I didn't want that to be true at all! I was in denial.
But becoming an Alicorn was one of the biggest things that happened in my life. That, and my friends of course. But since I felt like it was my duty to Equestria, I spent all my days locked and huddled away in my library, studying the history, pony races, habitat, plants, inhabitants, and I could go on, but I'd rather not.
I truly regret not spending time with my best friends when I had the chance. I was constantly studying, and turning down their offers. I wish I attended Fluttershy's pet fundraiser, or even Dashie's flight lesson! They were always at my door, bringing in food or anything and telling me not to get too worked up because it's not good for my health ... They didn't understand that I never got tired, or sleepy. Naturally, they were concerned at my reclusivness but I ignored that and kept learning.
Learning.
Learning is my passion, but its also what got me heartbroken.
I was so caught up in my studying that I wasn't there for Fluttershy at her last moments. She was stung by a certain species of wasp, and its poison is fatal. I was too dumb to see it!
I remember Applejack was yelling at me and telling me to come out, but I shooed her away and told her I'd be out later before going up to my room so she couldn't bother anymore. Applejack tried to buck down my door, but I put a certain spell to cast her out.
Oh I'm so stupid! I should've gone out! A simple spell could've cured Fluttershy!
But I didn't go out.
I was so BUCKING preoccupied with learning.
Rarity sent me a letter and told me the big news. After reading through that note, I was torn. I felt so empty. The last memory I have of her is telling her I'm busy after she asked me to go butterfly watching with her.
After Fluttershy's death, I got out more.
I had picnics with the four, we went to the spa, and visited Fluttershy's grave frequently. I still apologize to her to this day. I still regret it, and her death was ... about a century ago?
The rest of my friends I soon drifted apart after awhile.
Even Spike left. He went to live with Rarity. His reasoning was that I'm too busy for him, and that he felt neglected. I didn't think I was making him feel that way! I swear! I gave him meals, kept his room tidy, but I guess what he was missing is the affection and quality time we used to share.
But I was okay with it, which makes this worse. I just said I was sorry, and told him to visit.
He never did.
No one did after awhile. Not even Pinkie.
but I ignored this fact, and continued to learn about Equestria.
After learning more than half of my whole studies, I left my library and went out to visit my friends. I saw Pinkie Pie first, and she was surprised to see me. She jumped through the roof, looked through the hole that she formed and said quietly: "Twilight? Is it really you?"
I can remember her voice trembling, and the tears welling up in her eyes. I couldn't help but notice the graying in the pink mares hair, and the small wrinkles forming in her coat. Even her eyes seemed older.
I remember replying to Pinkie hastily.
"Yes, Pinkie, its me. I just want to see how things are with you"
Pinkie burst out crying and said that I forgot about her and everyone else, she was rambling on about how we were still friends, but that I didnt care anymore. I assured her I still care, but Equestria needed me. She looked disappointed, but said she understood.
Next I visited Rarity. She had the same, older appearance as Pinkie had. She still looked beautiful, and she still has a beautiful heart. When I saw her, she put a hoof around me, told me I look as young as ever and said she was jealous of my looks, before adding on that she missed me. I told her I missed her back. Our visit didn't last long, because Rarity had a few clothing orders to take care of.
I saw Rainbow Dash soon after, sleeping blissfully in a cloud up above. I flew up to her and greeted her.
Rainbow Dash looked at me with tired, glazing eyes. Her usually bright magenta eyes were dulling, and they had gray flecks within them.
"Hey Twily. It's been awhile." She said curtly to me. It was kind of awkward, now that I think about it. I recited a long speech about how I missed her, and that we should see each other more often, or even go racing together.
Dashie smiled sadly at me, and told me she would loved to ten years ago, but her joints and bones are getting too old to be racing anymore.
I still remember that feeling of emptiness. My best friend, too old to race as soon as I'm ready. It was more of a 'How could I have been so blind to see my friends are getting old?' kind of feeling.
We said our goodbye's, and I went off to see Applejack.
Applejack, was by far the oldest and wisest of our group. She's definitely the oldest. She took over Granny Smith's wheelchair, her once beautiful blonde mane now a snow white. She was surprised to see me, and confused me for a memory of hers when we used to hangout. I told her it really was me, but she shook her head and said: "That Twilight I knew stopped carin' too long ago to remember. Ah reckon she's caught up in her studies like she usually is, but Ah don't believe yer actually her" before wheeling herself inside the barn.
I felt so empty and so lost.
I flew back to my library and cried myself to sleep.
A few months later, Applejack was sent to an elderly home. I visited her frequently, and she finally got that I am Twilight, and we became good friends once again. I didn't visit the others as much, I had all my time focused on Applejack.
On my last visit to see her, she told me that I was her best friend, and always will be. I told her the same thing back. But what I didn't know, is that that was my last visit to see Applejack alive.
Next day I came to visit her, she was gone.
Attending her funeral was hard. Everypony was crying, and seeing the rest of my friends, was harder. To see their once vibrant, healthy bodies now a small frail shell. Rarity and Pinkie were crying into each others hooves, and Rainbow Dash stared at the ground with tears running down her cheeks sadly. I spent the whole funeral time with them, and I couldn't help but notice that they too, will start to need wheelchairs soon enough as Applejack did.
Even seeing Applebloom as a full grown mare with two fillies of her own put me in shock.
But my three of my friends and I caught up on a lot, and Rarity informed me that Spike is now a full grown dragon, and that he left several months ago to go start a family. I felt happiness for him, but I also felt a stabbing pain in my heart.
I wasn't the one who saw Spike grow up and leave the nest. It was Rarity.
It should've been me, but I wasn't there for him.
I wasn't there for anyone!
We buried Applejack beside Fluttershy on a quiet, peaceful hill by Everfree forest with the company of my three friends, as well as Applebloom. It broke me to see that Applebloom and I were the only ones strong enough to bury Applejack. Pinkie, Dashie, Rarity were just far to weak and frail. The just watched the honest mares younger sister and I bury her into the soft earth.
It was painful.
I noticed the three of them were really tight after that. Pinkie, still being a party mare, was doing her best to keep up with her usual bouncy self, but it was obvious that she was struggling physically. Same with Rainbow Dash. She stopped flying all together, and it made me depressed to see such a once headstrong mare, now a weak shell of what she used to be. They also barely included me in their get togethers.
I was debating on moving from Ponyville to Canterlot and live with Princess Celestia and Luna, but I decided to wait just a bit longer. I was going to spend as much time with Pinkie, Dashie, and Rarity as possible!
So I tried. I invited them over for tea, asked if they wanted to go on walks, Rarity shunned me out politely, but Pinkie and RD came through with my plans. It was really awkward. They didn't really look at me, and while Pinkie did talk a lot, there was plenty of tension in the air. I also had to constantly stop and wait for Rainbow Dash to catch up because of her joint problems.
I gave up. I decided that if they wanted my company, they would talk to me first.
I didn't see the next thing coming.
Several days later, Rainbow Dash went to sleep, and never woke up.
She was the youngest of our group, and some say she passed earlier because she put so much stress on her body when she was younger.
Still doesn't deny the fact she isn't here anymore.
Same thing happened with Rainbow Dash as it had with Fluttershy and Applejack. We had her funeral, grieved, cried, and moved on.
Except the remaining three and I could barely move and hold on.
We were so broken together, and we only had each other left. Rarity let me back into her life, and we got together constantly. I was getting a bit worried since I was falling behind in my studies. I turned down Rarity's next few offers to catch up everything I missed, and I was too blind to see that it was Rarity's time shortly.
Pinkie told me the news.
It was a Sunday morning, and I was drinking some tea while reading through a history textbook when Pinkie knocked at my door.
"She's gone" is the only thing she had to say for me to realize that I'll never see Rarity again.
Sweetiebelle and I buried Rarity next to Rainbow Dash. It was awkward around Sweetiebelle, as we haven't seen each other for the longest time.
But we got the job done, and went our seperate ways.
PInkie Pie is stuck in bed at Sugarcube Corner. Poundcake is taking care of her, as he's a young teenager now, and we briefly know each other. He runs the place now. Pinkie can't get up anymore, and I know too that soon she'll be gone soon. She's getting weaker and weaker every single day ...
And soon, it was her time. The last thing she said to me is:
"Twilight, I know we're all gone, but I just want you to remember that the friendship we all have is forever. I know you were busy, and I understand, but that doesn't mean were less of friends as we were as we were younger. I love you"
I told her i loved her too, but now I feel like it isn't enough. I wish I can express how sorry I am for not taking back my study time and spending time with them.
I regret it every day.
I now live in Canterlot with the other Princess', and as much as my friends' death hurt them, and I don't think they understand how much they meant to me.
They all passed about a decade and ten years ago, but I still miss them to this very day.
However, I still remember one thing, the one thing that reminds me that they're still here ...
Our friendship is forever.
