Not On Earth Anymore

by Jack Jester

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 16015

Human In Equestria

Jadec Silver is somehow transported to a far away land full of freaky magical ponies in the middle of the night. How he got there remains a mystery, but whats more troubling is how to deal with living there. If feet-first was the only option then get ready for a long stay.
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A small Chapter mishap at the beginning. Chapter 2 is where Chapter one should be and vise versa.

Published 2012-04-30 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-26 00:17:50 UTC

Chapter 2-Jail Time Blues

I awoke in a jail cell. (Yes, Im so abusing jail scenes)

"What in the name of Doritos...Where am I?!"

"Funny, that's the same thing you said in my bedroom this morning." The purple pony walked up to the bars with a less than happy look on her face.

"Look, I dont remember last night, so if I did something Im sorry but otherwise Im innocent!"

She glared at me.

"Do you know what you've gotten yourself into?" She asked me.

"No. I didnt get myself into this! I was THROWN into this! U COMPRENDE?!" My anger showed.

A guard stepped in because of the yelling. He asked me to calm down in that condescending tone they do back home.

"Or what? You'll throw more doughnuts at me? Im sure you have plenty." I retorted.

The guard frowned and held his tummy. He ran away crying. They seriously have guards like this? Crimes must be so easy to commit in cartoon world! Whats-her-face looked at me in disgust.

"Maybe a attitude spell will help that nasty tone of yours!" Her horn glowed and a beam of light shot at me.

My body froze. I couldnt dodge it or anything, I just sat there. What was this? Spells, talking ponies? Am I about to be probed by alien horses?! My mind went through countless scenarios in the .5 seconds it took for the thing to hit me. Once it did, every nerve in my body shot on fire. Everything was in pain. Not just 'ow I stubbed my toe' pain. It was more 'Ow I put my hand on the oven burner' pain. My senses all doubled in strength. Suddenly I could smell the whole office. I could see for miles (or at least into the wall very clearly) and hear every small crack in my voice as I screamed at the top of my lungs. Then it all went blank. The last thing I remember was the room turning purple for a second before I collapsed onto the floor.

"Um...Hello?" I asked. The thing laid there. He didnt move or talk or anything. "Are...are you OK?"

Magic isnt supposed to do that! I just tried to calm him down! Then all of a sudden he was Mr Electricity and screaming!

"Oh no! Please dont be...dead! Get up!"

His eyes opened. They were dull, emotionless, and...purple. He got up just like I said.

"Oh thank heavens! What was that just now? Do you have a magic charm or something that disrupts magic?" I asked.

He kept standing there.

"...Answer me!" I shouted.

"I'm not sure what just happened. I do not posses and magical items, as far as I know." He said lethargically.

His sudden change of attitude was drastic. Could it have been my spell?

"Um...sit down?"

He sat down.

"Hold your hand up."

He obeyed again. First he was insulting and mean, now he followed every order like a pet? I dont remember my magic being THAT powerful! As I was thinking, his eyes glowed the color of my fur for a second before they returned to their normal green hue.

"GAH!" I collapsed back, holding my head. A splitting headache took hold. "What was that for?!" I screamed at her.

She jumped back with a yelp.

"What...you were just--"

"Unconscious? Yeah, I NOTICED! Stupid pony and your stupid magic and your stupid...stupidness!" I waved my hand for her to leave while I curled up in the corner still gripping my aching cranium.

From the corner of my eye I saw her leave. Thank heavens. Now I can suffer in peace.

Author's Note:

What do you think? I wanted to go down a different path with this story I decided. Too much of a change? Not enough? Oh well, Im the author. Just let me know if this gets TOO stupid even by my standards.

Chapter 3-Getting Aquainted

As the long hours passed from morning to night, no one came in to see me. Not my friends, not my family, not anyone. The only person who even gave me the time of day (literally thats all he did) was the stupid guard. Once the moon rose I decided it was time to hit the hay so to speak. I was tired, I still had a headache from Ms Magic, and being in a jail doesnt exactly put a smile on your face. Come to think of it, why am i even in jail? Where was my trial? Even more so, why put a minor in jail? I know its like 4 months until my 18th birthday but shouldn't I still be somewhere BUT jail? My mind wandered as my eyes closed for the night.

"Rise and shine!" Some god-forsaken voice called out.

I opened my eyes to the blinding light of the morning. Oh god, it was the unicorn thing from yesterday!

"What? Here to shoot me again? Shoot me with asprin next time..." I sat up and stretched.

"No." She waited. "...Maybe. Anyway, I got permission from the jailer to let you into my custody. Follow me back to--"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No."

"Do you know how hard it was to get you out of here? Just come, answer some questions for me, and then you can go!"

"How 'bout no?" Im not about to leave my jail cell and follow some talking unicorn to her house to "answer some questions". Why couldnt we do that here? Never thought I'd say those things before now.

"How 'bout yes!"

"No! Im not leaving here until I know whats going on! Dont I get one phone call? Where am I anyway? Some freaky closed off city where the government mutated you stupid horses into freaks?!"

"LOOK!" She stamped her hoof. "You can either come with me or you cans it here and stay there until somebody bails you and your psychotic butt out! With all this crazy talk you've been spouting, I have half a mind to leave you in here anyway!"

She had a point. This cell wasn't the most comfortable place to be. That and I've obviously either been forgotten about or my family is being held captive by the government.

"Fffffffffffffffffff....fine." I looked down, defeated.

Later That Day...like...10 minutes or something

"I guess you already know where everything is since you've been here before." She eyed me walk into the door to her house--Library. OK, unicorn lady lives in a library. Thats not strange, right? "Just pull up a chair somewhere.

I did as she said. All the chairs were pony sized so it took a minute to adjust how I sat.

"Now lets talk. First I guess, what ARE you? Your build suggests draconian ancestry but you lack traits of every other creature in Equestria." She prodded.

At least I knew where I was now...kinda. "Im a human. We're more descended from apes. Kind of... Its hard to explain and I got a C- in science. Can I leave now?"

She starred at me awkwardly like everything I was saying was just flying over her head. "Alright...um, how about this. Whats your name?"

"Jadec Silver. My birth certificate got messed up and my parents were too lazy to fix it so I got stuck with this."

She nodded, finally understanding SOMETHING I was saying.

"Now we're making progress. So, whats your relation to magic?"

"My what now?"

"Magic."

"Magic doesnt exist, stupid head." I know this is all hard to explain scientifically, but MAGIC? Theres just no way.

"Are you cu-razy? Magic? Not existing?! Where would we be WITHOUT magic?!"

"On the couch playing Super Mario Bros while outside jets fly over head bringing people from across the world here and from here to across the world."

Ms Magic Addict looked as if her mom had just kissed her boy friend. It was kind of funny. Then she shook it off and her horn glowed.

"You know what, this is getting us no where. Time to speed things along."

I remembered the glow. It made my heart rush and my head pound but at the same time it calmed me down. She shot it at me just like back at that cozy jail cell. I missed the isolation from this freak already.

The same thing happened here as at the jail cell. He started screaming again and fell over writhing. I didnt even use a attitude spell this time. This was just supposed to make him honest. After about 5 seconds he stopped.

"Get up." I said.

He opened his eyes and did as I said. They were purple again.

"Answer my following questions. What's your name, where are you from, what is your relation to magic."

"My name is Jadec Silver. I am from Earth, and my planet has no trace of magic on it."

His answer shocked me. His planet? That cant be right. Although, as far as I know, there is no place called "Earth" on Equestria except for the ground so...is this possible? Another PLANET? With no magic to boot? I obviously needed to study more. What I especially wanted to know is why acted like this every time I tried to use a spell on him.

I kept talking to him for another 2 minutes before his eyes returned to green and he fell back onto the chair.

"WHAT THE HECK! OW!" I groaned. "STOP THAT!"

I tried to lift myself up but everything was fuzzy. Like I had been hit over the head. It felt just like the first time she did this. Was it some kind of drug? Is it the light messing with my brain?

"Right, I think I have enough information for now. Back to jail with you." She said and turned around to open the door.

"Like Im going back there. You said I was done!"

"I did, but I have more questions time wont allow for right now. I dont want you wandering off and Im not leaving you in my house so,"

Something inside me told me I wasnt getting out of this easy so I did as she said and left. In the door way, I turned to her.

"Tomorrow, right?"

"Tomorrow." She said.

Chapter 4-Let The Probing Begin

I traveled back to that god forsaken cell. The guard looked at me funny until a green poof of smoke produced a scroll next to him. He read it and nodded for me to head to the back.

'Magic.' I grumbled in the back of my head. How I missed YouTube! I wondered what my my subscriptions were doing.

I sat down in the pile of hay and waited the day away until night when I could finally rest my eyes. Still no one had come. My only company was the chirps of the birds outside. I may not have been one of them, but really? They couldnt take a simple "It was a accident"? These things obviously didnt get much crime in the area or else they'd either know I was innocent of lock me up for years instead of taking me back to their houses for 10 minutes.

The blanket of night covered the sky. Its brilliant stars and abnormally bright moon illuminated the sky so much it was like a really dark version of day. It was awe-inspiring. Sadly, or maybe happily after the past 2 days, I closed my eyes to escape this world for another 8-10 hours.

The Next Morning

The shining sun showed no mercy to my adjusting eyes as I opened them. I got up and stretched, shaking out the hay that accumulated. Time for a productive day of doing nothing!

More hours passed. The guard and I had a pleasant conversation about local sweet shops in the area that I should stop by when I got out. It was like he either completely forgave me or completely forgot about yesterday! Speaking of sweets and sugar rushes, my two days of doing nothing really built up my energy. Not sure how seeing as how all I ate those past two days was a apple or two, but hey. I decided to burn it off by doing math!

I climbed up to the window sill to look out at the world. There was a whole group of ponies out there just sitting. Judging the distance and accounting for the wind, I rolled up some hay balls and fired! They jumped and started laughing. Some pegasi up in the sky took the fall for it rather than me and my devious little mind. Twilight Sparkle, mare of the hour finally decided to walk in. She gave me a look that said 'I know it was you'. I simply shrugged and told her "I have no idea what you're implying.". She smiled at that.

We went back to her library and when I entered, there was not one, but 5 other technicolor ponies from a children's coloring book. Just from their looks I could see farm girl, prissy rich lady, hyper one, shy one, and...rainbow one? She must had been incredibly feminine with those light colors and rainbow mane.

"Jadec, these are my friends."

"Names AppleJack. Howdy thar" Farm girl crossed her legs like she just won a rodeo.

"Rarity. Um, pleased to meet you." Oh great, prissy one is british too.

"Hi there! Im Pinkie Pie! You're new! Are you really a stalker? I love stalkers! Well...I dont really, but I love CORN stalks! They're just so fun to knock over and make funny--" The feminist put her hoof in the hyper one's mouth to stop her from talking.

"Im Rainbow Dash, fastest pony in Equestria! Dont get any ideas stalker boy, you'll have to wait in line like the rest once I get in the Wonder Bolts!" My feeling about this one left me. Obviously not a feminist, at least she sounded fun.

"Right, so they're here to help me answer some questions about you." Twilight said.

"Questions? What, dont trust stalkers?" I prodded.

"Its not that. Well, it is but--"

"Look. As long as I dont have to spend another night in that jail in a way that isnt illegal, I'll do whatever you say. Just make it quick. I have stuff to do."

They didnt look to fond of my tone.

Rainbow put her hooves up. "Watch out, we got a tough flank over here."

'You're doing it wrong' memes flashed through my head. I chuckled at the thought.

Twilight sat me down in a chair.

"Jadec,do you know what happens when I use a spell on you?" She asked me.

"A what now? You mean when you shoot me in the face with that flash light on your head?"

"...Yes." She said, simplifying it for me.

"Yeah. I get a headache"

"Not quite." She knocked on her head. "You become...not you. From what I've seen, you actually negate what ever effect my spell had and black out."

I looked at her.

"Not just that, but you become like a pet, obeying any orders I throw at you." My eyes widened as she talked.

"You've been turning me into a slave?!" I jumped up. Rainbow tried to sit me back down but I shook her off like a fly. "What did you do to me while I was out?!"

"Nothing! It simply made my question asking easier! You didnt try to resist or lie or anything! Thats one of the reasons I trusted you enough to spend another night there. I knew there was more to your story and I knew you wouldnt try anything funny." She tried to calm me down.

I was still hot. The thought of blacking out for who knows how long and becoming a puppet terrified me.

"I want to know why. Maybe it can lead to answers about other things. There are other animals and even illnesses that are magic resistant like you, and I believe if I can get to the bottom of what makes you, you, then I can get to bottom of what makes them, them."

"What shes tryina say is we need you to be a test dummy so wes can fix some stuff here in Equestria." Apple Jack said.

I looked at them. "And whats in it for me?" I asked, crossing my arms. Like I was about to bend over and let them probe me so they could control more animals!

"Well for one, if you have anywhere to go, you'd be free too. Otherwise Im sure we can arrange something here in Ponyville."

"And if I refuse?"

Rarity's horn glowed. "Deary, please dont."

I backed up a bit. Twilight put her hoof over Rarity's horn and turned to me.

"If you dont, then you go back to jail and serve the time you owe for breaking and entering."

Sighing, I took my place back down at eye level with them, sitting in the chair. Pinkie circled me, eyeing me down like a predator. She stopped after a minute of this and starred right into my eyes, right into my soul. She poked my chest with her hoof and smiled. "You have funny clothes!" She laughed out.

Over the course of the day I was bombarded endless questions about myself, my people, my planet, our relation to magic (these ponies and their magic!) and the effects of technology. I gave them as detailed of a response as I could on all subjects. Not like I could do much. Before I woke up in her bed, I didnt even know what career I wanted to pursue, let alone have a degree in any of these fields that qualified me to teach anyone about them.

"Great. Just one more thing." Twilight said as her horn glowed.

"What now--" I didnt even finish the sentence before she shot me with a bolt of magic.

The same thing happened like all those other times. I couldnt focus on anything but the pain coursing though my entire body. It was as if my blood had turned to lava and my brain became a bomb, forever caught in a explosion. Everything turned a bright shade of purple before it faded to black again.

"See?" I said.

"Now what?" Apple Jack asked.

"Now," Dashie rubbed her hooves together, "We have some fun! Arise!" She pointed to Jadec.

He just laid there, still shaking.

"Let me try." I told her. "Get up."

With that, his eyes opened to that familiar color as he got up from his wooden bed.

"Do a barrel roll!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Again, he did nothing. It seemed as if he only responded to my commands. Maybe because I was the one who cast the spell on him?

"The first time this happened, it was a attitude spell. Then, a levitation spell. This time I cast a knowledge spell. Its the same result every time. His body just ignores any spell and shuts down. Rarity, I want you to cast a spell on him." I told her.

"But it seemed quite painful for him before. Are you sure, deary?"

I looked over to his emotionless face. "Yes."

She did as I asked and carefully cast a weak smoke spell. Instead of shrouding him in a cloud of smoke, it had the same reaction as mine did on him. The same painful screams, the same electrical flow washing over him, the same black out. This time Rarity asked him to get up. He did as she asked like a puppy. His eyes here blue this time, the tint of her magic.

"Cooooool..." We all echoed.

Chapter 5-Escape The Equestrians

"Twilight, please tell us the point of this?" I asked.

"Theres only so much we can find out from a person talking. This will give me a full body scan of everything."

"We shouldnt be doing this. We never got permission from him." Fluttershy voiced.

"Fluttershy, Rarity, if you have complaints then please tell me later. I'd rather feel bad in the morning about this than give up a once-in-a-life-time opportunity to solve some of Equestria's greatest mysteries."

She fastened his legs down to the table and his fingers onto sensors. A pot, sorry, a "science helmet" was placed on his head. This was the same machine Twilight had used to scan Pinkie earlier last year when she was twitching. Seeing someone else on it felt...wrong. Especially when he was just letting it happen. When I was letting it happen.

"Wake up." I whispered.

Suddenly everything became clear to me again. Another raging headache welcomed me back into the world.

"YOU!" I roared at the purple pony who had just finished tying down my last free hand.

"Dont worry! It'll just be one more thing to test!" She backed up, fear in their eyes.

"NO! NO MORE TESTS!"

I writhed on the table like a fish out of water. Yanking my arms up, slamming my head down, kicking chunks of wood off. The restraints tore off the table, me with them. I stood there, boiling mad starring down the pony. The room, still lined with books, had a stair case going up. A cellar? She stuffed me in a cellar? Strapped to a table?
This was all getting a little out of hand.

Before she could say anything, I darted up the stairs and made a bee line for the door outside. The afternoon sun was high, signaling lunch. A cabbage salespony walking around town too close to Twilight's door reeled back as I burst out and destroyed his cart.

"My cabbages!" He cried and tried to scoop them into his arms. "Vandal! Vandal! Crook! Somepony get him!"

Just like two days ago, every pony threw down what they were doing to try and catch me. Scared, I looked down to my feet to see how fast they were going. This is a trick I used in races to go faster. I would measure how fast my feet kept appearing in my eye sight and move them faster until they were almost always in my field of vision. You could do that without looking down, I just always found it much simper to do it this way.

The ponies stayed on my tail though no matter how fast I pushed myself. I had to resort to corners. Last documentary I saw said horses cant corner well. Then again the last documentary I saw was on Discovery Channel so.... I turned my body completely sideways to turn around. I slid for a bit but otherwise kept my pace. Down the narrow alley way, I called on the knowledge of every game I ever played for my next trick.

"Press A while on wall to jump!" I yelled. I leaped up onto a wall and pushed myself off onto the next wall and so on until I hit the roof. Just like Super Mario Bros for the DS! Not that I have a DS...um...those are for losers. <.<" ">.>

This left only one breed to deal with. Those cursed pegasi. Agile, fast, aggressive. The fell from the sky to try and ram me down. Others used serpentine to try and confuse me. I jumped over and ducked under them all with relative ease. Why was I doing so good this time? Last time I tried to do any of this I tripped on a rock and banged my head. Now I was parkouring like a master!

I looked to my left. Nothing. To my right. Nothing. Everypony was behind me, panting. I wasnt much faster, but certainly out ran them! Then it hit me. I was running out of roof. I had been hopping for the past 20 seconds in a miraculously straight line of houses and stores, but now we were getting close to the clearing. As I looked on, I could see a forest maybe a hundred feet away from the house line. Better low chances than none!

Dropping down back into the alley ways, I lost the tracks of all ponies. My sudden disappearance threw them off. All but one. One who finally decided to show up. Rainbow Dash.

"Oh shi-" She slammed into me like a rocket.

We both tumbled. She held onto me like a baby to a lollipop and I held onto her like arm-less man to a spiked rope. I slammed my feet into the dirt when I finally regained my bearings. Momentum threw her off me while I slid and hopped over her. A simple 50 yards to the forest now. Almost there! I continued my stride like a machine. Never before in my life did anything feel so earned! It may have been some stinkin' trees, but it wasnt Ponyville and thats all I wanted! 30, 20, 10! MADE IT!

I threw my arms up in victory. Behind me, the few ponies that managed to follow stopped dead in their tracks. Scared of a forest? They should be! Theres tons of predators in here!

...Oh no. There was tons of predators in there! I had forgotten the laws of the jungle! Well at least I had a human's mind. With this thing I would have ruled every living thing here in a matter of weeks. Plus if they were all as friendly or stupid as these ponies, my job of survival would be all the easier!

While going on about how well off I'd be in here, I realized I hadnt stopped running for the past 10 minutes into the forest. How far was I in now? How far was I...away from home? I wasnt even on Earth anymore. My friends...my family...my games...I would never see them again. I wondered if they missed me. If they even noticed. Did time stop? Was I erased from history there? Did I just vanish without a trace? Maybe they had search parties out. I hoped so. I hoped someone would miss me even a bit.

I slowed down and looked around. Nothing but trees and grass. Nothing but noise and plant smells. Why does everyone always say plants smell nice? They smelled awful. All plants. Humph! I jumped up onto a low branch and pulled myself up. Then the next one, then the next one. Soon I was on the top of a relatively large tree and could see everything. Ponyville was just a dot now in my vision. Had I really gone that far?! To the back of me, a huge chasm with a what looked like a flimsy rope bridge. After that though, was a broken down castle! That would be a nice place to hunker down for a while. I slowly climbed down, careful not to lose my--FOOTING!

*crash!*
*bump!*
*boom!*

My pajama shirt tore as I fell through the tree, getting caught by a branch to break my fall. My body was covered in scratches now and I was shirtless. Wouldnt Goku be proud?

Chapter 6-The Stench Of Everything

I got up and brushed the dust off myself. Everything looked OK. No broken bones, no twisted or dislocated limbs. In fact, I felt better than I had in ages! Every breath I took filled me with power! People are usually tired after running all that distance, right? Or at least falling down a tree? I hugged the bushes, wanting to be sure nopony...body, followed me. Ghastly growls echoed around me as I walked. I did my best to ignore them though. No filthy animal, especially in this filthy world, would get the better of filthy ole' me. Well thats what I liked to tell myself. Humans werent on the top of the food chain for nothing! ...On Earth.

My life stinks.

I walked past some animals drinking from a lake. Hoping to take a quick bath, I walked towards it. They poked their heads up and growled, revealing razor sharp teeth. They looked like deer but they had the mouths of wolves and the breath of a garbage can. I walked away slowly.

My life stinks.
I stink.

After looking from the tree tops a few more times I could see I was close to the bridge. I hoped I could get there by nightfall. It was close to sunset by then and it turns out the animals from before didnt like me interrupting their drink. I heard twigs breaking behind me constantly. I looked back of course but they darted behind the trees. Try running? Tried that. It didnt work out so well. I ran into a group of giant lions with bat wings and scorpion tails. They were angry too. I really started running then. Faster than I had ran back at Ponyville. These things were faster than ponies though by a lot. It was as if their very being was dedicated to running faster than me. One of them had grabbed my ankle and threw me into a post. A post. The bridge! I was right there! Just had to cross it!

Thump.

My life stinks.
I stink.
These animals stink.

They jumped onto the creaky thing. It barely looked walkable when I was on it alone. With 10 humongous creatures? The posts gave in and the bridge fell. Those things tried to fly but I guess evolution didnt account for wings trying to lift a monster as big as a car into the air. My life flashed before my eyes. I should have been more assertive. It suddenly hit me how I was a door mat.

My life stinks.
I stink.
These animals stink.
Gravity stinks.

I closed my eyes. I could feel the crash as we all hit the ground. I didnt feel anything though. I felt...nothing. At all. Was I dead? Slowly a burning sensation grew in my stomach. I felt the trickling of water over me.
Not water.
Thick water.
Hot water.
Really hot.
I tasted iron too. Suddenly my chest heaved. I coughed harder than I had ever coughed before. Everything was on fire. I slowly opened my eyes. Those things had broken my fall. I landed on one. Good, right? Bad. Its tail had managed to work its way through my gut like a skewer. Other animals in the chasm feasted on the corpses of the lion things. One bit my leg. I tried to kick but I couldnt move it. I couldnt move anything. I tried screaming for help but there was no air in my lungs. It hurt to breath, it hurt to look, it hurt to be. Well, now you're all caught up.

My life stinks.
I stink.
These animals stink.
Gravity stinks.
Death stinks.

Chapter 7-Livin' It Big

"Jadec" A voice called.

"Who is there?" I called to it.

"Jadec"

"What? Whose calling me?"

"Jadec"

The world was black. Nothing.

"Jadec"

A dim purple light shone in the distance. Twilight? Why was she here?

"Jadec"

"Twilight go away! I ran for a reason!" I stomped my foot. The noise echoed as the light intensified.

The light died. Everything was black again. Then as quickly as it stopped, the ground began to quake. Pillars of giant crystals shot from the ground and formed coming towards me.

"Jadec. Jadec. Jadec! JADEC!!!"

"AH!" I jumped up from the ground. It was early morning; the sun had just begun to rise. It illuminated the area around me. Lion things, or what was left of them, lay everywhere. My pants were torn to shreds and scraps of flesh were scattered around me. ...Mine? My legs were fine though. As I stood, I noticed I was a distance away from the Scorpiliogon that I fell on. A trail of dried blood created a path. I was dragged here.

Wait.

I had fallen. I fell through a tail. I was alive. I rubbed my hands all over my stomach and back looking for a hole, a scratch, a bump, anything. I was fine. Not even a scar. I slowly walked back over to the corpses and looked at them. Broken bones, eaten meat, liquefied brains; everything I should have been. I lifted one of the animal's arms and put my own to its claw. A quick pull and a fairly large gash began to bleed. Ow! Ow! Bad idea! Stupid brain!

I curled up next to a rock waiting for adrenaline to kick in and lessen the pain. More than lessen it though, the pain stopped entirely within a matter of minutes. I wiped the blood off my arm on what was left of my pants.

"What the..." My eyes widened. The wound was gone! Not a trace!

I looked at the animal and followed the blood trail to where I had been, then to my arm. The chase in POnyville ran through my head. How I had run so fast and so far like a machine. How I had torn through Twilight's wooden table with ease. 2 and 2 make 7, right?

"Oh my raptor. I...I must be...A SUPER HERO! HA!" I leaped up and danced around the mauled beast, pointing and laughing. "Suckitsuckitsuckitsuckitsuckitsuckitsuckitsuckit!"

The cliff face stood behind me. After my lel-fest, I turned to them. "Rocks! This is your day of reckoning! Bow to me now, and I will spare you!" Nothing.

"Oh really? Well maybe this will teach you!" I punched it as hard as I could. That will show them!

5 Minutes Later

Once the disintegrated bones in my hand healed, I began to climb the cliff out of there.

"Stupid rocks. Stupid minerals. Always being...stupid. Dont look at me like that! Yeah...thats what I thought."

Finally I reached the top and looked on. The castle was so close I could taste it in all it's dusty glory. And they said I would never amount to anything back home. Girl, I got a CASTLE! Stay happy in your filthy mansion. With butlers.... And fully stocked fridges.... And pools...and a garage full of cars...and maid--SHUT UP I HAVE A CASTLE!

Chapter 8-Deal With It.JPG

I reached the castle after about a hour of hiking. The castle was...less than I expected. It was in ruins, but I could get by that. I was also void of any life. Even the animals were afraid to go inside. Not a bad thing but a little lonely. After going inside I saw it needed a big clean-up job. Now THAT was where I drew the line. A super hero should not have to be reduced to doing his own cleaning. That was what maids were for and as everyone knows, all GOOD super heroes have maids. I mean take...well I guess thats not a good example. What about...hm. Or maybe.... Know what? Never mind. Point is, cleaning was for losers.

So after finding out the castle was a complete bust I climbed a tree to not wallow in misery for 20 minutes. Then after not crying myself into a nap, I woke up and looked for food. Even super heroes need to eat. What to eat though? As if to answer my thoughts, I heard a loud roar from under the tree. It was a bear! A actual bear! Not a stupid unicorn, not a stupid Scorpioliogon, not a wolf made of wood, not anything like that! EDIBLE MEAT! I readied to pounce like a cougar in a tree, waiting for its prey. When the bear put its head to a bush and sniffed for berries, I pounced.

"BANZAI MOTHER HUBBER!!"

In retrospect, perhaps jumping on something that evolved to throw boulders wasnt my best idea. I grabbed me and threw me into the tree I leaped from. The beast lifted its huge arms and brought them down on me. Its claws tore into and ripped apart my flesh while the sheer force of the hits bruised my bones jiggled my brain in its happy little cage. As it lowered its head to take a nibble out of me, it put my hands in its mouth and pulled in opposite directions. The bear's jaw were incredibly strong and the teeth hurt to grab onto, but I kept pulling.

...

Lunch, dinner, breakfast, and lunch again. I looked down at the bear. It was food...but knowing I had taken its life felt wrong. I felt dirty, empty inside. Empty. It was just...hunger. Yeah, thats all it was. I feasted on the bear while my cuts and bruises healed. Even after the event my bones still achy. I should be more careful from now on. I should also build a fire. Raw meat is absolutely disgusting. I cant explain how many times I nearly became empty again just biting that.

I looked into the sky. The sun burned with such light. Friendly clouds covered some of it, forming cool shadows on the ground. For once, everything was clear for me. I could feel the wind blow on my face and whistle through the leaves of the trees. The birds chirped from their nests, bugs buzzed looking for food, landing on my food. I waved them away. Maybe finding a way to store the bear should be first priority. Maybe the castle would be good; that had no animals in it.

I lifted the bear over my shoulder and limped back to my original destination. The castle was still dusty, but animal and fly free. Upon second look, it wasnt actually half bad. The dust could be dealt with after a long debate with my mind. The roof could save me from rain and there were even huge banners. I tugged on my pants which were practically in rags now. They were barely serving one of their two purposes as it was.

At first, I tried jumping and grabbing for the banners. They were really high up.... The candle rods actually made a fairly nice stand. When stacked, they were just high enough to make a grab for the cloth overhead. Good, now I had fabric. ...Next?

Sewing wasnt for super heroes. I ripped it up into shreds and wove them into a cloak of sorts. A very simple one with the sorriest excuse for a hood one might ever see. At least I wasnt half naked anymore. Pfft, more than I can say for the ponies. Did they even have any decency? Rainbow Dash even seemed to revel in it! I'd like to see them spend a week in the human world. Wait, scratch that idea. They'd probably be given apples and get patted.

I just cant win.

Chapter 9-The Shishkabob Part 2

I walked to the top of my castle, MY castle, and looked out at the world. The trees, the mountains, the trees, the trees...the...um, trees. And Ponyville. Ew.

AVAST! On the side of a mountain, another castle! It was white with a golden trim. It was actually not painful to look at. Quite inviting to tell the truth. I wondered if the creatures there, probably ponies, were as cruel as the ones in Ponyville. Looking around, I realized there wasnt much here for me. Maybe a look around wouldnt hurt. Just a quick look.

5 Minutes Later

Everything in this world hates me.

I slid under branches and jumped over roots as I whizzed by the trees, being chased by some animal. They were unbelievably fast and agile. My speed and agility was the only thing that gave me the edge in Ponyville and these things basically leveled that playing field. Why were they even chasing me? All I did was throw a rock at them!

Hm. OK, yeah, maybe that wasnt the brightest idea.

One of them jumped for me. Its jaws snapped shut mere inches from my ear. I could hear its teeth clash from behind me. Images of what it must have eaten ran through my head. I could heal and all, but pain was pain; and that looked very painful. Their teeth snapped again and again. Eventually they grabbed onto my cloak and tore a piece out. It was evident I couldnt out run them so I looked to the sky and begged this not to hurt so much. At that moment, I saw a rainbow. It reminded me of in Ponyville when I stopped dead to shake Rainbow Dash off of me.

With that in mind, I dug my heels into the dirt. The animals ran right by and slid as the tried to stop themselves. They turned around and looked for their prey. Too bad it didnt occur to them to look in the trees! Stupid animals! After a few minutes of searching, they followed the trail back to where they came from. I had to remember to thank Rainbow for that one if I ever saw her again, and between gasps for breath as I would run away. I decided trees were the safest route and followed them to the castle until I came to a clearing. The birds here were actually very nice. A few of them led my way out of the forest since it was hard to see through the leaves.

The ground ahead was lush with emerald grass that reflected light from the sun. The few patches of dirt were dry and bugless. It would have actually been a nice spot to lay down for a while, maybe have a picnic. That sun though. MAN, is it bright here! The clearing must have stretched for at least a mile. At least I got to enjoy the scenery while I roasted. Come to think of it, once you get past the burning hate and burning sun, this world is actually pretty. I never fully appreciated nature back home on account of all the buildings. Even the nights were beautiful. Unlike the stary sky back on Earth where you only saw some stars and that was it, here you saw the stars and everything else. The oranges and purples of other galaxies, the blue clouds, the...green? Never knew there was green in space.

My feet began to grow weary as I drew closer and closer to the rock face the city was perched on. Maybe I should have stolen some shoes back in Ponyville. Then my feet wouldnt look like balls of dirt. After wiping my feet in a patch of grass that had retained its dew, I marched my clean feet through the filthy dirt until I came to the cliff. More climbing. Joy.

2 Hours Later

The things I do sometimes. By the time I reached the bottom of the city the sun was way far away, close to sunset now. he first traces of sanguine and orange leaked across the sky and stained the clouds. I dug my fingers into the smooth rock of the under city. It was like a bowl sticking out of a wall but instead of cereal, a mini Camelot.

I had begun to debate with myself on if I should be wasting my time doing this, but then I decided that I had nothing better to do. Halfway through my self discussion on whether cold fusion would be a better alternative than having a bunch of people spin a giant wheel or not, I finally reached the edge of the city and attempted to pull myself up--DONT SLIP! NO! NO! NO! HOLD ON! NO! OK, its cool. Its fine. Strangely nopony noticed me screaming at the top of my lungs or climbing over the edge of a city. Oh well.

My hood made nice cover when I walked through the city. I observed all the ponies through my own little window. There were the same mix of races as in Ponyville but these all looked much higher class. Some actually wore clothes. Finally, I didnt feel so alone. This place seemed like a OK place to hang out so far. Even the ponies were nicer. Well, not nicer, but they answered my questions thoughtfully to uphold their reputations. I wondered what they would say if I took off my cloak. Better to play it safe than sorry though.

It was funny when I looked into the streets. There were carriages being drawn by, you guessed it, horses. Strong horses too. Most of the ponies I had seen had looked thin if not flabby; those ponies pulling the carriages were RIPPED. They pulled those things so fast. Really fast. They couldnt even see a little filly run into the street chasing a ball she dropped.

"Watch out!" The crowd echoed.

The filly looked up and screamed, immobile, frozen in fear.The stallions tried to stop but the carriage kept rolling. Naturally as a hero, I ran out and knocked the filly out of the way.

"Run awa--"

My world tumbled. It was shaken, flipped, inverted, blacked out, then too bright. Loud, then quiet. My body was tossed like a rag doll in the crash. Wood splintered wheels popped off, through windows into shops or other carriages. Suddenly it all stopped.

The streets were dead silent; the only audible sound being the scarlet river dripping onto the cobblestone. The ponies looked up The broken carriage had one long piece of wood pointing at a angle into the air with a strange ape-like creature on it. It hung there, face blacked out, wearing a torn cloak.

"You're welcome..." it said in a weak voice before its arms fell to its sides and stopped twitching.

Chapter 10-Magical Battery

Purple crystals everywhere. Some were small, others as tall as a building. Most were just above my height. The tiniest that formed a floor crunched under my feet as I walked over them. The taller ones formed a maze of sorts that led my path. They were beautiful structures that reflected the bright sunlight back out as rainbows. I looked around me to admire the scene. Behind me though, the crystals were black where ever I had stepped. I reached my hand out and poked a taller one with my finger. Black poisoned it, twisting its form. Once the sun hit it, more black light reflected through it and poisoned the rest without my help.

"Jadec" A voice whispered.

"Whose there? Whats going on?!" I danced looking for the answer to my situation.

"Jadec" It voiced louder this time.

"Wait...I know that voice. You're the one from before!" I looked to the sky.

A black river flowed from the direction I had previously walked. Noticing this, I ran into the purple ones. Not only the river followed me, but the crystals around me turned that dark shade as well. The sky darkened, clouds blotted out the sun. The crystals began changing color and form even faster than I was running, shooting ahead of me.

"Jadec! You know how to fix this!" It shouted.

The world and everything in it was black again save a few crystals. The river flowed faster and faster; droplets of the gunk hit my skin. The sensation made me shiver and it was beyond chilling. I reached my hand out to grab the last healthy crystal just before I was enveloped in the liquid.

"JADEC!"

I jumped up and fell out of my bed in a frenzy. Nurse ponies ran in to restrain me, a difficult job it was. Not as difficult as it used to be though. My strength seemed to have all but faded. My stomach hurt a great deal and I felt every rusty joint I felt before I came here. I was alive though.

"Where am I?!" I managed to shake one of me and climb into the bed.

"Hold it thar par'dner!" A lasso wrapped around my arms and constrained my movement. Without the balancing abilities my arms granted me, I fell back out of the bed and onto the floor.

Applejack.

"I...I...Im in..." I closed my eyes and thought. "I'm in Equestria." My heart sunk as I said those words.

"Thas raght Jadec. Now calm down afore you pop a blood vessel wit' all yer screamin'." She sounded at me.

I stopped my struggling. The loud beeping from before also seemed to slow as well. I looked to my chest and followed a small wire up to a heart monitor.

A hospital.

"How'd I get here?" I asked, looking around the room. to analyze all the features.

"You barged into a noble's carriage." Said a soft but assertive voice.

"It was so cool! Well actually it was kind of scary...but it was cool what you did! That foal told us how you pushed them and yelled at them! Well when I say it like that it sounds pretty mean but they made it sound really heroic!!" Pinkie Pie hopped into the calm room yelling. Her bright colors contrasted the dull gray of the upper walls and the green tiled floor.

"Its a miracle you survived." Twilight told me.

She explained to me how the ponies had pulled me down and rushed me here. The doctors knew nothing of my "physiology" and couldnt use traditional means to me so they used healing spells. Obviously the effects were null but over time, my body healed on its own. She told me that while I was out, she brought her own machines in to check the levels of magic inside me.

"I wanted to see if your body was simply repelling the magic or storing it somehow."

As it turns out, my body was storing it. The magic was pure though and had lost any sense of the spell it was once shaped in. She deduced that my person picked up the energy and used it to power itself. That explained my recent abilities and the healing. I asked why I didnt heal right away after the carriage.

"You must have used up most of the magic doing other things. Your body didnt have enough to heal you until the doctors used spells on you and in a way, charged your batteries."

"So I can die then..." I looked down to my feet. It would have been nice being immortal but at least I have the next best thing.

Looked like I needed their magic after all though. After everything I went through to get away, after all I risked, I still needed them. I felt insulted in a way. Fluttershy noticed this and shrunk away.

"You mean this happened before?" Rainbow asked.

I looked to her. "Oh, thanks by the way."

She looked to her friends in confusion.

"By the way Jadec," Twilight added. " I've a arranged a meeting for you with the Princesses.

"The what nows?" I asked. Princesses? As if this world could get any more prissy, save for the monstrous animals in the forest.

"Oh thats right, you're not from here! I'll have to tell you ALL about them!" She smiled so big her teeth almost fell out.

She took a big breath of air and began talking.
And talking.
And talking.
And talking.
And talking.
And talking.
What monster had I unleashed on this poor unsuspecting world?

Later

I dawned my torn cloak once more. It covered the embarrassing hospital gown almost entirely, since there was a gaping hole in the back and all. I would have left the gown there if it didnt mean my only article of clothing would be the cloak itself. After I finished getting dressed we walked to another carriage. I hesitated getting on.

"Is there a issue?" A guard asked.

My eyes followed the long golden plank of wood nailed onto the side. It tapered into a point near the front of the flying box.

"Um...no. I'm just a little...afraid of heights." Is there a phobia of being impaled? There should be.

"Dont worry, we wont let you fall." He pushed my inside next to Twilight.

I took my seat as we started to lift. The city was so...white. Not be racist but dang, it was all white. The only colors were the gold trim and the pastel ponies! It was as if there was a law against color!

"Enjoying the view?" Twilight asked.

"Or something like that." I halfheartedly answered her, still in awe of the complete lack of color.

We flew for maybe a entire minute before we landed.

"Wait if we were a block away then why did we fly here?" I asked.

My question was ignored of course and we simply continued walking. The doors to the castle were HUGE! The guards standing on every step of one of the two stair cases leading to them looked minuscule in comparison. I giggled.
Inside, the hallways winded. We hiked for what must have been miles until we came to two more large doors. They were decorated with a gigantic orange and yellow sun. Under it was a quick painting of a white circle with some black smudges around it.

Before even opening the doors, I could feel the superiority emitting from behind them, like something larger than life stood on the other side. Even the stories Twilight told couldnt compare to this. I wondered what I would feel like once I got to the inside. The doors must have read my mind because they opened seemingly on their own to reveal two gigantic ponies, white and blue, each with flowing manes that blew in a imaginary breeze. One was dark blue with a dirty butt, save for a big white spot. Her mane was lighter blue and looked as if it had stars flowing through it. The other was somewhat taller and looked although not as wise as the other, more warm. Her mane was a mix of light blues, greens, and pinks. Even her eyes were soft. Despite this, she still seemed to stare right into my soul.

"These are the princesses?" I asked Twilight. She nodded.

"I think I need a chair." I told her.

Chapter 11-Everything Went Better Than Expected.jpg

So there I was in front of the two most powerful ponies in the world. What does one do in a situation like this? I felt so many emotions running inside me! I just wanted to tell them one thing! It burned in my throat I was so excited!

“So, we’ve heard much about—“ Celestia began

“Your world stinks.” I said flatly.

“I…I’m sorry?” She stammered. Princess Luna muffled a laugh with her hoof.

“Your world stinks. Everything hates me, everything wants to eat me, theres no fast food, no internet, no TV, no soft beds, no air conditioning, no cars, no rock, no nothing! And would it kill anyone to make a hamburger!? I mean really! What are you, VEGETARIANS?!” I shouted.

She glared at me with more hate than any being I had ever known.

Horses were vegetarians.

“I’ll have you know—“ She started again

“Wait I take it back! The food is OK and I’m perfectly fine sweating half to death! I don’t even need a car! Walking is good!” My arms protected my face by instinct as my legs lifted off the floor.

“Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia boomed.

“Yes Princess?” Twilight’s bravery shrunk three sizes that day.

“You told me in your letters this…ape was respectful! What is the meaning of this?”

“Well um…you see…he must have…um…been scared so…” She trotted back slowly. It was apparent the Princess was being more ruthless than usual.

“Sister, mayhaps thou shouldst calm down some before speaking again. The ape seems to have shaken thine jimmies.”
I watched in horror at the scene around me. The two most powerfully racist ponies in the entire world, a shaking excuse of what used to be a proud purple wonder, and I was in a chair almost enjoying it all. Something about the chaos felt humorous, like watching somebody try to bike off a ramp and falling on their face. The guard saw me giggling.

“You. Does this amuse you?” He demanded.

“Actually, yeah. A little.”

Then CELESTIA over heard the conversation while arguing with her sister.

“Oh, so other’s anger amuses you?”

“Well not usually this much. Where I’m from, talking horses with girly wings and horns don’t usually yell at each other.”

“Shut thine pie orfiace!”

“My hoosie-whats-it?”

“Jadec maybe you shouldn’t be so brash.” Twilight whispered to me.

“Twilight, don’t help the ape! I want to see what it really thinks.” Celestia bellowed again.

It.
It.
It.

“Excuse me?” I asked her. “IT is a person and would like it for you to refer to HIM as one.”

Monkey I could deal with. Ape, alright. I could take the yelling and the insults, that wasn’t much of a change. Twilight being scared was kind of funny. This however…IT? Oh no, not in front of me.

“So it does have emotions.” She sighed at me.

“I’m going to have to ask you to stop that.”

“Really now? Why would it want that?”

I rose out of my chair.

“I’m serious.” I told her.

“It. It it it. IIIIIT.” She clapped her hooves together and smiled at me with the same fake smile you give your aunt when she gives you socks for Christmas.

“Say it one more god dang time and so help me.”

“Jadec…” Twilight warned.

Celestia looked over to her. “Twilight, I told you not to help it.”

Where I come from, we don’t call people “it”. Where I come from, we don’t talk to our friends like that. Where I come from, the bosses aren’t this rude to their people. She basically broke every rule in my book.

“STOP!” “HAULT” “CEASE!” The guards yelled as I ran for Celestia.

“SELF PRESERVATION IS FOR SISSIESSSSSS!!”

Her horn glowed and shot a magical bolt at me. And so my world went black.

“Whats it doing”? Celestia asked.

Jadec was writing on the floor again. Oh, why did things have to turn so far south like this! I thought letting him meet the Princesses would help him adjust to Equestria! Looks like all I did was ruin his life.

“He kind of…gets like this. Whenever you use magic on him he loses control of himself.” I explained.

“Oh dear.” Celestia frowned.

“Sister, maybe you played your part a mite too well.” Luna put her hoof up to Celestia’s shoulder.

“Played your part? Whats going on?” I asked.

“Well Twilight” Celestia stepped down and walked to Jadec’s limp body. “I only wanted to see what Jadec was like under pressure. Luna and I decided to try and put him in a stressful situation and see. I didn’t have to do that with you since I found that out the day you earned your cutie mark.”

I smiled. I KNEW Princess Celestia would never act this way. I never had ANY doubts. Yep, I was right all along.

“Well in that case, just tell him to get up.” I told her.

“Twilight, did thou not sayist that the human will be unconscious?” Luna looked confused.

“Trust me.”

Celestia looked to Jadec. She seemed hesitant at first. “G-get up…. Get up.” She regained her regal stature.

There was a moment of nothingness. Then without fail, Jadec’s hand moved. He pushed himself up off the ground and stood there. His eyes were milky white with a light touch of grey, barely enough to make his irises stick out from the rest. The room was silent.

“Twilight, is this supposed to happen?” Celestia asked me.

“Yes and no. I’m not sure if its SUPPOSED to happen, but its usual for him.”

“So what does he do?”

“Anything you say.”

Celestia looked perplexed for a minute. “Twilight, why did your letters leave this out?”

“Well you see,” I scratched my hoof on the floor “I didn’t really want to tell you much beyond the basics. I wanted him to have some sense of privacy so he could settle in.”

Celestia and I talked about his, erm, condition. While we were busy, Luna was poking and prodding Jadec as he stood.

“Ugh…” The grey in his eyes grey darker slowly. Luna jumped back.

I blinked. My world was back again. I looked around me to Princess Luna who had popped my personal space bubble by a few miles then to the guards holding spears. They stood like statues just like when I had walked in. You’d think they would be more alert considering I lunged for the most important tramp in the land. Speaking of which, why was everyone suddenly in different places?

“What did you do?” I asked sternly.

Celestia walked calmly to me. She met my gaze and pierced my very soul.

“I’m sorry.”

…

What?

“What?”

What?

“I said I’m sorry. The way I acted before was unacceptable. I was wrong and take back everything I said.” Her eyes were watery. Not tears or anything, just a little more human than previously.

“Yeah well…you’re still dumb.” I shoved her aside and walked out of the room. Something inside me felt a little violated. Something inside me told me I needed to get out and away from her. Something also told me though that I should feel bad for being so rude. Was it my humanity? Nah, couldn’t be.

The winding hallways came to a end. I shoved the door to the outside world out of my way as well and ran to the balcony. The sky was less hostile than when we arrived and the cool air was soothing. A thought ran through my mind. During Celestia’s hounding of me, it was bright sun. Then suddenly it was darker out. After a minute or two of thinking, I realized what had happened.

“I hate magic.” I said as I looked into the distance, ignoring the tall buildings and bustling streets below.

Chapter 12-The Flight To Elsewhere

The sun was up in the sky, taunting me. It was away. Away from these ponies. It did what it wanted. It answered to no one. Wait...never mind. I forgot that even the sun answered to Celestia here. I just wished I could have flown out there. As if reading my thoughts again, a pegasus couple flew right by me. Rage boiled inside me. Why should they get all the fun to themselves?!

"You know what?" I yelled at my inner self. "I'm practically immortal!"

I walked the several yards back to the castle doors and stared right at the sun. I crouched down like a cougar waiting for its prey.

"You're mine." My steely gaze matched the sun's glow.

I started off, albeit a little wobbly at first but soon the force of the wind on my sides kept me straight up. My feet were invisible as they pounded on the ground. The distance between myself and the edge of the castle balcony was quickly being eaten up. 100 yards, 90 yards, 70 yards, 40 yards, 5 yards! Time slowed down as I pushed off the ground. One foot pushed off the balcony fence just to be sure. I looked to the birds. I looked to the clouds and the unreachable sky. I was so close now I could almost taste it.

"WOW! WOW!" My arms flailed wildly as I steadied myself.

Soon I balanced out. The cool air turned colder and colder as it swept by me. I heard nothing. The wind smashed against my eardrums. Normally it would be annoying but here? I felt. complete. Being in the air was...something. It was the best feeling ever.

"Is this what it feels like?" I whispered.

My flight lasted about a minute before I lowered.

"Well, I guess I do need to get down now." I told myself as if I had control. "Wow...wow thats a little too fast. Hey! HEY! SLOW DOWN!"

I dropped like a stone. The air betrayed me, seemingly pushing me down rather than lifting me as it had before.

"NOT SO FAST! YOU'RE GOING TO--" Crash.

I broke a human-shaped hole in the roof of some poor rich pony. A stone roof. My body tore through each floor of the mansion until it hit the "ground" with a thud and a sickening crunch.

"Ow..."

I healed...but pain was pain. The burning swept over me. My arms and legs were literally pretzels as if someone had pulled the bones out and tied them in knots. Bones...where were my bones? Surely not on my person. Soon though, I felt a strange sensation in my legs. They began to feel fuller. I felt them untie themselves as something inside pushed along, undoing the knots. Hard structures formed where jelly was. My breathing steadied when the sound of escaping air ceased sounding from my chest. I slowly pushed myself up while my arms undid their own damage. The tiny stones and splintered in my face popped out silently where new skin and muscle grew. Lastly and with a great snap, I put my neck back in place. Good as new.

"Alright so more jumping with style but I can work with it." I told myself as I wiped the dust off my hospital gown. It was in more shreds than I can count on two sets of hands and feet. I believed a new set of clothes would be in order. These ponies may be fine with walking around all naked, bit I, a refined human being would participate in no such affairs.

There was a rustling around me. I took myself out of my own little world and looked around. A tall white pony with a blue mane and the coolest mustache I ever thought I would see on a pony stood there. His manacle swung below his chin. A even taller and skinnier mare with flowing pink hair draped herself over him with a look of shock.

"Oh um...sorry about that." I rubbed the back of my head.

He didnt move.

"Um...hello?" Still nothing.

I looked at the tuxedo jacket he was wearing. It was nice. "Well if you're just going to stand there..."

I removed my gown and ripped it up until there was a small section of it that had no other tears. I tied that around my waist and turned to the stallion. After removing the mare from his back, I began to unbutton his jacket and slip it off. On me, it was a tad loose, but it was better than nothing.

"Thanks buddy." I waved to him as I walked out. He still didnt move.

The streets were happy and cheery. A few ponies crossed and some carriages rode by. I decided to stick with the nice, safe, carriage-free sidewalk. Nothing wanted to run me over there.

"Hey mister!" I heard a childish voice yell from behind me. I turned and saw a tiny little filly. Her mane was messy and brown. On her dark blue eyes contrasted with her blood red coat. I looked to her flank--dont get any ideas there--. It was bare. She was a talentless little bundle of curiosity.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"My mommy said not to talk to strangers..." She kicked dirt up with her hoof nervously. "But..."

"But?" I crossed my arms. Something about the little filly told me I knew her.

"But I wanted to thank you. A couple days ago I was playing soccer with my friends and the ball went out in the street and I went to get it without looking both ways even though my mommy told me not too because I wanted to finish the game fast and a carriage came up and I didnt know what to do but then this monkey thing pushed me out of the way and he was real hurt but I was OK and you look like him even though you have a shirt and I wanted to say thanks." Her face had a hint of blue at this point.

"You're...um...welcome." I knew this filly looked familiar.

"I also wanted to ask" here we go. "If you could help me find my mommy. I heard this big crash and went to see it but it was you and my mommy wasnt where she was when I left so I--" I put my finger to her mouth.

Silence, my sweet mistress. I'm sorry I never appreciated you before. I promise I'll never forget you again. Except probably tomorrow and forever on. Yeah, sorry, Silence.

"Where did you see your mommy last?" I asked.

I removed my finger from her lips. "We were in the shops looking for ice cream. I heard a boom though so I left and I think shes looking for me. My mommy always told me to stay in one place when someone is looking for you. I dont like that though. What if you're in a place nopony knows where you are? You should wait back where you were and wait for people THERE." She said with a triumphant smile, proud of her brilliant ideas.

I sighed. "Alright. Lets go" I gave in.

She cheered and galloped towards the shops. I followed en suite and asked her her name.

"Mommy said never tell strangers your name." She smiled.

"Haven't you broken ever rule your mommy ever told you?" I prodded.

"Nuh uh, I dont steal from he cookie jar." She continued on.

We arrived at the market place. It was just a bunch of stands full of doo-dads and doo-hickies like in Ponyville but everything was more expensive. Very expensive. Of course she wanted some of everything though. Her eyes almost glowed when they met the ice cream man...pony.

"Oh! Oh! Can I get this one mister?" She pointed.

"Well I dont know..." I said as I dug into the pockets in my new tuxedo jacket. Money. "Huh. Alright, yeah, I guess."

We spent the remainder of the day sitting at the same table talking about everything under the sun. By the time that yellow orb in the sky had finished staining the land hues of red and purple, whats-her-face's mom finally showed up.

"Shine Bright, there you are!" a larger green pony called. Her curly mane waved in the wind as she ran to us. "I've been looking everywhere for you!" They hugged.

"Hi mommy! I--"

"Who is this?!" The older mare asked and hugged her daughter tighter, giving me the nastiest look.

"Mommy its OK! This is Mister Carriage Man! He pushed me out of the street! Remember?" 'Shine Bright' pleaded.

The disgusted look on her mom's face turned into a gleeful smile! "Oh YOU'RE the monkey that saved my little Shine! Thank you! How can I repay you?" She asked.

I felt my pockets. Their golden rivers had ceased flowing long ago. "Just keep better track of your daughter, alright?" I said. "Wouldn't want her finding herself in the street again, would we?"

The mom hugged me. "Shine, what do we say?"

"Thank you" she squeaked. She seemed much more shy around her mom than she had before.

"No problem." I said as I began walking away.

"Wait! Whats your name?" She asked.

I turned to her and tapped my nose. "Sorry, my mommy told me not to tell strangers my name." I continued walking. I felt the frown grow from being me. "Its Jadec. I dont listen to my mommy either." I told her and waved.

In front of me there was a flash of light. I looked down and saw a little cookie with a note.

"ok so i doo tak cuokies sumtymes" it read.

Chapter 13-With Focus Comes A Ride

The streets of Canterlot became increasingly welcoming as night took over. Less ponies prancing around made it seem more open and less confined wherever you were. The ponies seemed nicer too. Maybe it was because I wasnt bumping into them all the time at that point but still. Frankly I'm surprised there were even ponies out. They always went inside at least a hour before actual night.

My mind wandered as I walked. 'How could this day had gone differently'? Well for starters I could have not insulted Celestia. Its true though, her world does stink. Its not my fault everything here is awful. She should feel bad about herself for ruling such a dumb world. I could have also waited for the flying carriage to take me back to Ponyville. Canterlot was lonely. Like...really lonely. I contemplated jumping back to Ponyville like I had from the castle balcony but then I remembered Twilight had said something about running out of magic eventually. If I ran out before healing after a jump like that even IF I had enough to jump, I'd be one sad pancake.

"Maybe I can call somepo--one. They have phones here, right?" I walked around.

"Nothing." I said as I searched every street corner within a 5 foot radius. "Alright. Maybe I can sort of telekineticly link with somepony--one and tell them I need help."

Buzzing thoughts turned to small ideas. I focused harder and harder on one pony and three words. The pony's images began to form. It was purple...with a fluffy rainbow mane...a stetson hat...it had butterflies on its butt and a purple curly tail. It looked familiar but I just dont remember having seen them before. At the time, a pony was a pony and I needed a way to Ponyville. If I didnt get help soon I might have been forced to UGH! knock on somepony's door!

"I'm...in...Canterlot...." I told the pony. It starred at me with its yellow eyes.

"BLERGER NAAAAAAAAAAHFGGDRIKESKN5E4895ZETLKHBJDRIOUYW45VO83q298yawb47it5i!!!!!!!!!!!!" It shouted at me

I focused even harder on what I wanted to say. Maybe the message hadnt gotten across. "I'm...stuck...in...Canterlot.... Please...help...."

"SHMERGDERNITANFURUEWBFKSDKRI882J2JHRJHBFIU8787UYuriubIU98787b5Btyth!!!!!"

My level of concentration was definitely over 9000 at that point. This was more focused than I had ever been in my entire life. "You...are...a...jerk.... I...would...not...engage...in...pleasant...conversation...with...you...."

The creature simply shrugged and faded to black. So much for that idea. The park benches looked pretty nice while I was passing them. I'd just have to sleep on one of them for the night. And thus, my adventure for a wooden bed ended as quickly as it had begun. In the distance was the castle. Castles had nice beds. Castles had to have nice beds. They were castles.

Alright, change of plans.

The stars above illuminated my path. Truly the nights here beautiful. Back on Earth, I never got to see the stars. They were always being blocked out by lights and houses and so on. The ponies here had the clearest sky ever to enjoy the nights and they went to sleep so early in spite of the grand displays Luna puts on for them. No wonder she turned evil. Man, that Celestia must be awful. Even I wouldnt exile my sister for a thousand years because

Sister.

Memories of family and friends flooded my head all at once. The life I had, the people I knew. I hadnt appreciated any of them or anything. Now look at me. Walking in a torn hospital robe and a stolen jacket, looking for a place to sleep. I was pathetic. My vigor drained from my feet into the ground with each step I took. Quickly all my will was gone. I would never see them again.

"Maybe a park bench isnt such a bad idea." I said to myself, starring at the ground.

I walked over to the park. Despite the signs clearly saying 'do not eat or lay on grass', I dropped down. The bench was too far away. I couldnt even drag myself a extra few feet.

Pathetic.

Why did I feel so low? It was as if my heart was ripped out of my body and along with it, my warmth. I was cold and shivering. Curled up in a ball and feeling like misery personified, I cried myself to sleep.

In The Morning

I woke up among a crowd of ponies. They were starring at me. Mocking me, stripping me with their eyes. My body was not ready! I got up and roared a mighty roar; 'Go away' I told them!

"Meh." My hand meekly slapped the ground.

Too much effort to get up. My hypothermia put me to sleep again. Not soon after did I wake up again in a pool of sweat. There must have been at least three suns under each armpit. My mouth was dry and my shivering was visibly shaking the ground. Now more than simple ponies crowded me. There were doctor ponies too, poking me and taking notes on clip boards.

"And you say this has been going on all day?" The doctor asked a pony.

"Since we got here this morning." They said.

"Interesting." His sentence became mumbles as I blacked out again.

I woke up. Twilight. Sleep. Wake up. Twilight and Fluttershy. Sleep. Wake up. All six of them. Sleep. Wake up. That jerk pony that yelled at me in my head. Sleep.

These lapses were torture. Every time I felt worse and worse, hot and cold, shaking and quaking. These ponies are cruel. They couldnt just kill me and get it over with. Whatever drug they put in me was taking its toll both mentally and physically.

Several Hours Later

Crystals. I was in a crystal field again. The bright blue skies warmed my skin nicely, not the burning from before. It was pleasant here. I used the crystals as a chair and sat. It was quite cold in contrast to the air. It was also...humming.

"Jaaaaaaaaa" it sounded.

"Thats nice." I relaxed into the nice, tough crystalline structure.

"Jaaaaaaaaadeeeeec" It hummed again.

"Oh come on not you again." I opened my eyes, realizing it was the same dream as before.

The crystal shook. Suddenly it grew out and around my hands and feet, holding me in place.

"What the!" I yanked at my restraints.

One small black crystal in the distance emitted a smoke. A...a shadow. It hovered towards me, gaining speed.

"I can give you power!" Green piercing eyes formed in the cloud.

"I can protect you!" A wicked smile with razor sharp teeth formed.

"LOOK FOR THE HORN!" A black and red horn grew as the shadow slammed into me.

"NO!" I screamed as I shot out of bed again. A nice soft bed in a tree. Twilight's house? Why was I in here?

The clip-clopping sound of hooves on wood echoed from the staircase. A purple pony with a purple mane, a blue pony with a rainbow mane, a yellow pony with a pink mane, a white pony with a purple mane, a pink pony with a pink mane, a orange pony with a yellow mane, and that jerk pony that yelled at me came running out of no where to see me.

"What happened?!" They all said in unison.

"BSKNARGERFLARBEREHF848VEJRHB987b789ybg97T87TVFUYF68Rr87r87r76iffytdvjjf!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah F you too." I told it in protest.

They gave me confused looks.

Chapter 14-We All Have Our Demons

"We heard a crash! Did you fall? I like falling because its like flying! You shouldnt though. You were sick and--" Pinkie Pie was out done by the ugly pony.

"MF498JNFJKEH543298FHUBbrdtyrdtnbvhenx6DDDVRIUY6FBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

"I'm sorry Pinkie I cant hear you! You said I was sick?" I shouted.

"WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING? IS IT SHOUT TIME?" She started hopping.

"What do you mean why am I shouting? This isnt annoying?!" My finger pointed accusingly to the screaming abomination.

"You mean the wall?" Twilight said, barely audible.

"NO! THE SCREAMING JERK RIGHT THERE!" I shook my hand.

"Theres nothing there Darling." Rarity came up to the bed. "Only the wall."

Dash floated closer and poofed through the pony in question. It continued screaming.

"...Well then." I said flatly.

Later

"What do you mean I focused so hard on something my mind created it for me? Thats stupid." I told them.

"Well its not our fault you tried to, what was it? Telekenetically link with somepony? Your mind is only doing what you told it to do." Twilight said as-matter-of-factly.

"I didnt tell it it make--SHUT UP!!! I didnt tell it to make a screaming blur!"

"FFFBAAAAGGHGHGYSGHRFY5686YU54SHIGGYDIGGYDOOWHEREAREYOUJF985U46YBH!!!!!!!!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" I lunged for the creature only to poof right through it. "Oh yeah...its not real."

"You're lucky! If I could make somepony in my head, I'd do it in a heartbeat!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Would yours scream at you when you talked?" I could barely hear anyone over its words.

"Well not really but--" Her sentence was cut short by screams of my own.

"HOW DO I MAKE IT GO AWAY?!"

"W-w-well, thinking st-started the problem. Have you t-tried unthin-thinking?" Fluttershy whispered in the corner.

"Fluttershy, dear, if it were easy as that, I believe this issue would have been cured long ago." Rarity scoffed.

It was a sound idea. All I had done since the...event was moan about my pathetic life and sleep. Come to think of it, why was I complaining before? My life is great. I may be trapped in some freakish world full of freaks, but I have the Earth equivalent of super powers. I got my mind back on track and focused on the task at hand, thinking of nothing.

"Whats he doin'? Is that thang fahnally killin' 'im?" Applejack asked. Her sentences were soon lost to me, as were the rest of theirs.

"GABLINGABBLE! FHDNHVHV4I845IN8YERTINY54IRVWLIMEFRES5VILUERWQINER 945784359859JVTM!!!!!!" It tried to get my attention.

I wanted so much to look at it and yell back but I restrained myself. My eyes would be shut forever if I clenched them shut any more at that point. It would not have the pleasure of my dreamy eyes gracing its hideous figure.

"FBEBCR854BCNJDGVFVB5476H74GFCFFRH8RY843YRG7RECNJ4O28HCODELYOKOF856H3756FJ4IRY8746C4BG48746G378BGTRYGYJTDHBGFY85FGDERYTERIMPLYING" Its voice faded. The world faded.

All of my senses were dulled. I felt nothing. Not the floor, not the warm air, not the clothes...lack of clothes. The feeling of the mare's stares also disappeared. Everything was blank. This wasnt your every day blankness. This was Advanced blankness.

I stayed like that for what must have been a eternity. In reality it was more like a two or three minutes but it felt like a long time. Then I slowly let my world return to me. The air first. It soothed me and made the process easier. Next was the sound. It was quiet but I could still hear the nothingness. Hard to explain, but somehow you always know the difference between 'quiet' and 'no sound period'. The last thing that came back to me was my sight. The mares were gone. I looked downstairs. It was hard to see, but the small amount of light from the closed shades illuminated the dark brown oak of the library just enough to see the ponies down there. All 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them. It worked!

I almost called to them before I felt a breeze. Dang it, I was naked again. I really had to sort out this clothes issue. I walked over to the bed and pulled off one of the sheets, wrapping it around myself. This would have to do for now.

"Ahoy down there!" Making my presence known was but a small feat.

They jumped and looked up.

"Just little ole' me, not the boogey man."

They kept starring.

"Booger Pony?" I asked.

"Ahhhh." They nodded, understanding my statement now.

Later Again

"I'm afraid I cannot fully grasp what you're saying." I told them.

"What shes tryina' say is that yer high off yer haunches on magic!" Applejack summed up the long speech in one sentence.

"Hows that possible? Theres not even any magic on Earth! No way I suddenly need something I never did before!"

"Thats how drugs work, smart guy." Rainbow leaned a elbow on Applejack's head.

"Hey." She shooed her off. "Ah told yew behfore. Ruspect muh hayt."

"If it makes you feel any better, we'll all be here for you if you go through...um...withdrawals again." Fluttershy stayed true to her name, still weary of me.

I looked at my hands. I was having a intervention. With ponies. In a world full of a child's sugar-high dreams. I was addicted to magic like a moth to light. Its not that I even wanted it, my body just needs it now. My little stunt back in Canterlot used up the whatever Celestia and the doctors had given me and my body cant absorb enough from the air fast enough to 'recharge' me. Some powers. Why couldnt I have just gotten token super strength or ACTUAL flight?!

"So I'm going to HAVE to be magiked to stay alive?" I asked hesitantly.

The unicorns of the group looked away and nodded. There was a pause.

"How did you find out?"

Rarity turned to me. "Well, you were lying on the ground for hours shivering and sweating and sleeping. Nothing in Equestria BUT drugs does that...or I suppose if you're a really bad sleeper. Anyway, it was the best bet and it seemed to work--"

"So you dont know for sure?" I looked up.

"You could say that."

I smiled. So there was a chance I wasnt a junkie after all! "By the way Rarity, you make clothes, right?" I asked her.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well in case you havent noticed, I'm naked."

"Why is that a problem?"

"Where I'm from, its against the law to be without clothes. Could you..." I gestured to the thin sheet covering me.

"Ah! Of course darling! Forgive me, if I had known, I would have made you something sooner! Just come by my boutique when you're ready and I'm sure we can arrange something." She said.

"Alright cool."

"I'll even give you a discount!" Her smile would have warmed my heart but...

"Wait a minute. I have to pay? But I'm poor. I dont even have a job!"

"Well you could always do some favors for me. I do have a lot of orders piling up and I dont have time to do the chores."

For actual clothes, I was desperate. I agreed to her terms and the meeting was adjured. Applejck went to tend the farm, Rainbow to fly, Flutershy to...flutter, and so on. I left shortly after too. I wanted my garments ASAP.
The library's protective trunk no longer shielded me from the intense sun. Strangely it wasnt even that hot. Just REALLY sunny. Whatever Rarity was making would have to cover me up if I wanted to keep away from burns since I doubt theres sunscreen in the world. I mean, they have fur. Why would they need sun protection?

As I walked, ponies gave me the strangest looks.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked.

They slowly turned away and went about their business. I chalked it up to 'not used to seeing hairless monkey' and continued my walk. The soft dirt on the road got between my toes and made them feel weird yet also nice. Like when you're relaxing on the beach and the nice wet sand seeps between your toes. All in all, the walk was very quiet. Nopony really talked to me.

"Rarity?" I called into the store upon arrival.

"Jadec? You're earlier than I expected." Her voice echoed through the hallways. "Please, come in."

I stepped inside the cool shop. The escape from the sun was nice although my dirt trail wasnt.

"I'll be right there deary!" She called.

I panicked. What to do?! If a pony like her saw a mess like this, I'd be done! It was HORRENDOUS! There was like...TWENTY dirt particles! In response t the situation, I did what any sane man would do. I ripped off my clothes and wiped them all over the floor. The mess was clean, but at that moment, Rarity walked in.

"Oh goodness! I'm sorry, I didnt know you were getting comfortable."

I jumped. "Its not what it looks like!" I shouted and grabbed for my, er, Twilight's sheet.

"Its quite alright. Remember, you're the only one who needs clothes. Speaking of which, what sort of thing did you want?" She trotted over completely at ease, not even upset over the dirt on the floor. This pony was alright.

I thought over what I wanted. At first I was going to describe the type of clothes I wore on Earth but then I thought about it. Here wasnt Earth. It was already weird enough I would be wearing clothes, so why not deviate? A couple of ideas flashed into my head until I decided on what I wanted.

Half way through explaining, Rarity stopped me. "Wait, you want pants under your pants?"

"Well...yeah. Is that a problem?" I asked. I didnt want to push my luck.

"No." She sighed. "You humans have such strange customs though."

"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes.

While Rarity got to work on what I wanted, I grabbed the mop and began cleaning. The mop passed over milk spills, glue spills, macaroni bits, everything you'd need for a arts-n-crafts project. I couldnt believe Rarity was into this kind of stuff.

"He the trail!" I heard a whisper.

"Shh! He'll hear you!"

"Muh big sis says he gots real good hearin an stuff."

I also had no idea Rarity was a pedophile. "Kids? Its OK, Rarity wont hurt you any more." I turned to the direction of the noise and held my hand out.

"He found us!"

"Ah told yall tuh be careful! Now look! We'll nevar git our human-wranglin' cutie marks!"

"Rarity is going to be so mad at the mess we made for nothing!"

"Is that why you're hiding? Are you afraid of Rarity?" I asked quietly. I believed they were truly scared.

"Scared? Of my sister? Why would We be?" The voice said. Out from the corner walked a marshmallow, a mini recolor of Applejack and some...orange purple thing. Dafuq?

"Sister? Pfft! Oh yeah! I...I knew that!" I chuckled nervously.

"Why are laughing nervously?" She asked. "Are you scared of us? Girls! We can get our cutie marks in scaring!"

They all cheered together and chanted in unison. "Cuite Mark Crusaders: Scaring Masters!"

Whatever unholy force brought these things into the universe must be real proud of itself. I simply backed away slowly and continued mopping as the followed me the rest of the time jumping out from behind bookshelves and doorways. After the first five minutes of them looking at their butts, I stopped pretending to be scared. Why was Rarity taking forever?!

"BAH!" The white one yelled again. Her name was Sweetie Belle.

"CUCKAW!" The orange 'Scootaloo' one yelled.

"BAZOOM!" Applebloom shouted.

I had enough. "OOGA BOOGA BOO BOOGA IMMA EAT YOUR SOULS WITH MILK AND FOALS!!!!" I crouched down and raised my arms out and over the sides of my head, fingers curled up like claws.

The little terrors jumped out of their own skin and dispersed. They dont call me Monster for nothing! My beautiful hallway was finally clear. I could get back to work and--BOOM! Rarity's workshop door burst open, fabric sheets flying out with it.

"M-my hallway..." I reached my hand out helplessly and brought it back. A tear formed in my soul.

"Jadec, Its done!" Rarity trotted out smiling. "Come and see!"

She looked around. "Oh and could you clean this up when you're done?" She went back to workshop. I heard three small giggles from around the corner.

When I walked in, all I could do was gawk at it. It was even better than what I imagined. Before me on a pony mannequin whose body was broken so it could stand upright was full body black suit. It had blood red bindings all along the arms. On the shoulder was a spike that extended into three more as it traveled up. The chest had a similar design but the spikes moved downward instead of up. It had a light brown belt that integrated with the suit and extended into more sanguine structures. They looked almost like a skirt combined but not and more...manly.

The legs were somewhat baggy. They too had dark red boots that puffed them out a bit more on the sides. From the back of the boots at around the ankles, bright red lines formed and traced up around the brim. The wrists had a almost gauntlet covering to them, held on with more bindings and straps. The suit looked like something out of a cartoon...and I loved it.

"Rarity you dont know what this means to me."

"Oh its nothing darling really. Whats some robes between friends?" She smiled and used her magic to float the suit over to the changing rooms.

It was a little difficult to fit on at first since it was tight, but it hugged my body in a good way. Nothing to loose and I could still breathe. Rarity had really outdone herself on this. I should have thanked her somehow. Like...saying thank you. Again.

"Thanks Rarity." The fabric didnt even hurt when it rubbed on me as I stepped out of the room.

"You look wonderful!" She said.

"Y-you too..." It turns out ponies like spaghetti. I could have sworn I smelled it from somewhere.

Chapter 1-The Start Of A Stalker

(Sorry for the mix up. I thought Chapter 1 was published along with the story itself so I went to chapter 2)

Remember that time you burned your hand on the oven because you thought it was cooled down? Remember how much that burned. Now picture it everywhere. Even in places you didnt know you had. Got that? Now put yourself in the middle of no where, surrounded by hungry animals. Welcome to my world. How did this become my world? Well it all started the day I became a stalker.

"5 more minutes mommy..." I said groggily as I reached my hand out to turn off the alarm clock. Since when did my alarm sound like chirping birds?

No alarm there. Now I was forced to get out of bed and do something. Poor me, having to actually work on a Saturday. I got up out of bed and stretched. My plaid pajama pants and black T-shirt protected my body from the abnormally bright morning sun. I moved over to the window and opened the shade. It was also lower than usual. Once I opened it, I unlatched my eyes and allowed them to view the neighbor's house obstructing my usual spot of the street.

What the flap jacks.

That was NOT my neighbor's house OR a street! That was...PONIES! Flying ponies, talking ponies, horny ponies!

"What in the name of all that is good is that?!" I screamed and fell back. Was this a night terror? ...Morning terror?

From on the bed I heard another scream. A purple horny pony jumped out. A pony...in my bed....

"Eeeeewww...." Even scared half to death, my mind rests in the sewers.

"What are you doing in my house?!" She yelled

"You're house?! This is MY house! ...I think!"

"Creeper! Stalker! Crook! Thief! Get out, out, OUT!" Her horny thing on her head glowed. Other objects around the room followed en suit and began flying towards me.

Luckily I had gained boss like dodging skills from dodge ball in school and nothing hit me. In my jumps though I may have managed to fall down the stairs. More objects continued to follow me as I burst out the door and crashed into a vegetable seller's cart who sold stuff too close to...the tree.

"My cabbages!" He yelled and tried to scoop them up in his arms.

Purple pony came running out of her tree screaming after me using those slanderous terms like stalker, rapist, and criminal. Please girl! If I were to try anything, it certainly would not have been on a pony! Due to her, a horde of technicolor ponies with a color range farther than the NES chased after me. Flying ones dove down and flew to my sides. Horny ones made the ground all explodey around me. Normal ones just threw stuff with their unbelievably flexible hooves. All this...this made it hard to keep speed and focus on direction. They quickly caught up with me.

I noticed a alley coming up, too narrow for most of them to get through. If I could just make it--

ROCK!

*trip*
*boom*
*fade to black*