Rainbow Dash's Darling Day
The bell over the door jingled, and Rainbow Dash walked into Carousel Boutique.
Rarity looked up from adjusting the hemline on a dress. "Why, good morning, Rainbow Dash!"
Rainbow Dash trotted in. "Good morning, darling! Isn't today just darling, darling?"
Rarity blinked. "Err...yes?"
"I thought we might head over to Sugar Cube Corner, darling! Wouldn't one of their darling breakfast pastries be simply darling, darling?"
Rarity tilted her head. "Rainbow Dash, why...are you talking like that?"
"Why, whatever do you mean, darling?" Rainbow Dash turned to the door, looking back over her shoulder. "Well, darling? Are you coming or not, darling?"
Rarity frowned. "Y-yes...of course..."
"Darling!" Rainbow Dash said, trotting out into the sunny morning.
"Did she crash and hit her head or something?" Rarity wondered as she grabbed her saddlebags and followed Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash looked up at the sky. "Why, it's simply a darling day, wouldn't you say darling?" She stretched her wings. "But it's missing something...ah! Rainbows! Rainbows, darling!"
Rainbow Dash took to the sky, rapidly creating a series of rainbows that connected one end of Ponyville to the other. She landed beside Rarity, shaking mist from her wings, coat, and mane. "Darling! Wouldn't you agree, darling?"
"Err...yes," Rarity said. "Simply...lovely."
Rarity followed Rainbow Dash to Sugar Cube Corner. Rainbow Dash kept up a stream of conversation, peppering her speech with the word 'darling' to a degree Rarity found absolutely ludicrous. However, concern for her friend kept her from speaking out of turn, so she simply endured the verbal torrent with grace and patience, keeping a concerned eye on her friend.
When they arrived, Mrs. Cake greeted them at the counter. "What can I get you dears this morning?"
"I'll have one of your darling cream cheese strudels, darling!" Rainbow Dash said.
Mrs. Cake blinked. "Okay. And you, Rarity?"
"Oh...a sweet roll and an espresso," Rarity said.
Once they had their breakfast, they took a seat at an open table. "Rainbow Dash, are you...feeling quite alright?" Rarity asked.
"Simply darling, darling!" Rainbow Dash replied. "And you, darling?"
"Fine," Rarity said through clenched teeth. She took a bite of her sweet roll.
What was happening here? Rarity went over all the possibilities in her mind. A magic spell gone horribly wrong? Head trauma? Discord? Poison joke? There were so many things that could be causing Rainbow Dash to behave this way...
As they left Sugar Cube Corner, Rainbow Dash said, "Thank you for having breakfast with me, darling."
"It's...no trouble, really."
"I'm about to do some shopping, darling. Would you care to join me, darling?"
Rarity shuddered. "Sure. I'd...love to..."
"Excellent, darling!"
For the rest of the day, Rarity followed Rainbow Dash around Ponyville. Rainbow Dash seemed to be incapable of speaking without using the word 'darling', and as the day wore on, Rarity's nerves were fraying rapidly, and her patience was wearing thin.
Whatever was wrong with Rainbow Dash, she needed to find out before it drove her insane.
"Say, Rainbow Dash...why don't we pay a visit to Twilight Sparkle?" Rarity suggested.
"What a darling idea, darling!" Rainbow Dash said. "It would be darling to see Twilight today, darling!"
"Yes...quite," Rarity said. She headed for the castle, Rainbow Dash right behind her.
When they arrived at the castle, Rarity approached Twilight. "You simply must examine Rainbow Dash," she said quietly. "She's not quite well today."
"Really? She looks fine to me," Twilight said. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Darling?" Rainbow Dash called. "What are you two darlings talking about, darlings? Don't keep me out of the loop darlings!"
Twilight's eye twitched. "Nevermind...I see what you mean."
For the next hour, the three mares conversed, while Twilight surreptitiously performed every examination she could think of on Rainbow Dash. The barrage of darlings was beginning to fray on her nerves, and her mane was frazzled.
Finally, Twilight slumped. "I give up," she said. "I can't find a thing wrong with Rainbow Dash."
"Well of course you can't, darling!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm perfectly darling, darling!"
Rarity had finally had enough. "NO YOU'RE NOT!" she screamed. "YOU KEEP SAYING DARLING! EVERY OTHER WORD IS DARLING! ALL DAY LONG IT'S BEEN DARLING, DARLING, DARLING! WHY ARE YOU SAYING DARLING?!"
Rainbow Dash stared at her. Blinked once.
Then started snickering.
"Geez, Rarity!" she said. "I didn't think it'd take you this long to crack!" She chortled, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Man, you have no idea how hard it was to keep that up all day! I can't believe I got through it with a straight face!"
Rarity stared at her, jaw gaping. "Buh?"
Twilight frowned. "Rainbow Dash...was this all some kind of prank?"
"Yep!" Rainbow Dash said. "Well...more of a bet. AJ? You back there?"
Applejack trotted out from behind her throne, chuckling. "You won, sugarcube," she said, hoofing a small bag of bits over to Rainbow Dash. "Ah thought for sure she'd throw a fit before y'all even finished breakfast."
Rarity stared at the two of them, eyes half-lidded. "The two of you made a bet...over how long it would take me to go insane from Rainbow Dash saying 'darling'?"
"Yep!" Rainbow Dash said. "I said it'd take at least two hours. AJ thought we wouldn't make it out of Sugar Cube Corner before you freaked out."
"I...see," Rarity said. "And...why, pray tell, would you make such a wager?"
Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked at one another, and shrugged. "We just thought it'd be funny," Rainbow Dash said.
"Funny, eh?" Rarity asked, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Ha, ha."
"Oh horseapples," Twilight said, diving behind her own throne.
Rarity pawed the crystal floor with a hoof, lowering her head and snorting steam. In a low, dangerous voice, she said:
"You'd best start running now, darlings."
