So Hungry I Could Eat a Horse

by Silver Octave

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 5096

A bad start before dinner turns intoa fun night with the solar diarch.

My first CLOP-FIC so please leave constructive crits

Anon's been living in Equestria for six years now, he's lived a good life in the castle for the whole time now and is a close friend to the princesses. He's seen Changelings, Sombra, Discord, and Tirek but hasn't been shaken. But one day he forgets something very important, something he's done every year until his seventh anniversary which was only two days away. When he gets in the castle there's little staff walking about, and he can't remember why.
After a awkward start before dinner, Anon decides its time to move out of THE ZONE...THE FRIENDZONE, a big move at that. And with the help of a princess he gets exactly what he wants.
FEATURED:
12/17/14

Published 2014-12-17 18:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-17 18:00:04 UTC

Princess of the Sun

Walking through the lively streets of Canterlot on what could have been the best day to take a walk, Anon had a smile that spoke words. His hands are deep in his favorite pair of cargo pants pockets since he arrived in this colorful world known as Equin. He couldn't believe his luck at first. When he first came, he thought his life was over, but slowly, over the months or even years he's been in Equestria, he's felt better about his sudden change. Before, he wasn't good at dealing with change; it was hard, but now, when he lives in a world where everything is different, he has gotten used to what. He loved seeing all the Canterlot nobles babble about him.

The sun was shining brightly with all its possible glory. It brightens the day, giving life to even the coldest of towns. Clouds were scattered around in random positions, providing the right shade in the right spots. Ponies seemed to be enjoying the day, too; most had a smile smacked right onto their faces. And while Anon walked, some nobles smiled with a nod towards him.

It took quite some time to get the nobles to respect him. Before, he had to worry about getting called a freak almost daily. It took him six months to be allowed into a public building, but that was with a royal order and two of his favorite guards to accompany him. Thanks to the tremendous help of Fancy Pants in spreading positive rumors about him, he could finally enter public buildings alone. However, even after convincing the nobles that he wasn't a shit-throwing, hairless ape, he didn't get the best service he'd hoped to get, even living in the castle. It wasn't until the third year, when he saved the life of a very important noble named Prince Blueblood that he got the service he wanted.

Celestia was happy that Anon could finally relax. Three years was too long for him to settle down eventually, and she wished her subjects could have been a little nicer to him. However, she couldn't force such a thing, or she'd fear she would look like a tyrant. Items in Equestria were starting to stabilize now that Tirek's defeat was only a year and a half ago. Repairs took longer than expected, but with the unexpected help from her newest subject, Anon, it seemed his reputation was more than he wanted.

Anon was seen as a hero to the ponies of Canterlot and was given nobility after the repairs. His title was "Lord Anon, Hero, and Beloved Savoir." While his self-pride wasn't high enough to send him to hell, he felt he deserved just this one thing to look up to.

"Can somepony help me?" A pony asked loudly. Anon looked to the left, where he heard the call for help. After taking under a minute to find the pony, I waited to see who was calling for aid. "Please, anypony?!"

Anon found who was calling. A pony by the name of Doughnut Joe. His mane was red, while his coat was a simple golden brown like his wonderfully delicious doughnuts. As he approached the pony, he saw what he needed help with. Joe had two large bags of flour he was having trouble picking up.

"Need help?" Anon asked, trying not to sound rude for asking.

Joe looked up and smiled wide. "Why hello, Lord Anon!" He bowed low, making Anon laugh. "Y-yes, I do need help. These bags of flour are heavier than I thought, and I can only carry one in my mouth. Do you think you could get the other one?"

Anon nodded, bending low to pick it up. Lifting with his legs like his mother forced him to learn how to lift heavy things, the bag of flour was evenly resting on his right shoulder. He smiled at Joe, motioning him onward. "Shall we?"

Joe smiled back. "Yes, let's."

They made some small talk as they took their time since Anon didn't have anything else to do until later. However, in his mind, he swore he had forgotten about something important. He needed to see Celestia about something for his seventh anniversary, then ask Luna for his birthday present. Both days fell on his first day in Equestria. Before being sucked through a random wormhole, he drank himself dumb because it was his twenty-first birthday. But he couldn't remember something he knew was necessary. He rarely thought about whatever he forgot, so he ignored it.

After giving Anon a coupon for seven free all-you-can-eat days, a whole week, he spent day and night eating doughnuts. He felt he should bring Iron Head, Stinger, and maybe Fancy Pants and his wife. Waving goodbye and saying, "See ya another time!" Anon was back on his way to speak with Celestia with a coupon to eat as much as he wanted in one of the half dozen pockets his pants supplied him with.

He was near the gates when he noticed a lack of guards at the front entrance. Anon waved past the two guards, who should have more of a life than standing there.

"W-wait, Lord Anon!" One of them said before he opened the castle doors. "I don't think you should go in there?"

Anon turned to the guard who was trying to warn him of something. "Why shouldn't I? It's my home, isn't it?"

"Y-yes it is, sir, but...are you sure?" He was looking at him with a huge blush. "T-the princess...I don't think you should be in there?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "I'm sure I'll be fine, Hawk Eye. I've handled Celestia even at her worst."

This was true in many cases. Celestia had fallen into a deep depression on the first year of Luna's return, feeling awful for what she did to her only family. Anon was more than happy to help Celestia through this dark time. After a long, serious talk with her and her sister, they managed to help settle the matter forever, or at least he hoped. Another time, he helped Celestia during her banana-eating and chocolate cake frenzies. He was sure he stopped her in time before sending one of the world's most powerful beings to rehab because that would have been an issue he wasn't sure he could solve.

"Whatever you say, sir...."

Anon nodded. "And you, keep up the good work."

The other guard laughed a little, shaking his head. "What work? You're the only one that's coming up to the castle today. Only twenty maids and butlers and not the hundred are normally here."

He shrugged. "Whatever, see ya!" Anon called as he made his way inside the massive white castle. Every time he stepped into the court, he felt warm. Like he was alive once again. Smiling, taking this feeling in, he stepped off his left foot like he always had when he was on a mission.

His mission was to speak with his two favorite princesses. The three of them were like a trio. They were best friends inside the castle, forgetting the titles they were bound by, and talked as if they were equals. Of course, Anon knew they weren't, but the idea was presented by Luna, who had given the thought first.

The princesses were extremely helpful with Anon's adjustment to Equestria. Luna helped out more because she was helping him while helping herself. Between the two of them, both were caught up with the times. Celestia was helpful by presenting Anon with a room and two of the best guards with countless medals for their heroic and brave acts to help defend Equestria. They were also refined with his omnivorous diet, and the chef thanked him for giving him more of a challenge to cook for Anon.

"It's still noon; she's still in court..." Anon thought aloud to himself, looking at the magically locked doors. He found a waiting chair next to a noble he was sure was named Dead Eye. His cutie mark and left Eye showed that he lived up to his name. A large scar was over his left glazed Eye. "Hey there, Dead Eye? How's your day today?"

"Fine, thank you." He said, then sighed. "Court takes too long. I only wanted to ask for a loan to build a new greenhouse in the Crystal Caverns."

The Crystal Caverns were directly under Canterlot, long forgotten until the queen of the changelings had reminded them. It held an abandoned mine, which was abandoned due to the threat of collapse. "That's quite the danger, Dead Eye. Are you sure?"

He nodded acutely. "I am. The entrance of the mine has been recently discovered, so I was going to build it right into the side. I only require three thousand square feet of space to build it."

"What's your plan for the greenhouse?"

Dead Eye smiled. "My friend told me their farm can't supply Canterlot with enough vegetables for a couple of years due to the drought in West Equestria. So, if prices increase twenty percent per pound, it will go down to ten within the second harvest. I have a team of six unicorns ready to place artificial light orbs."

Anon whistled. "Quite the feat, my friend. I hope everything works out."

He sighed, looking towards the door. "He's been talking for two and a half hours over destroying McQueens in the lower district to build a brothel."

"Who?" Anon asked fearfully. He was hoping it wasn't who he thought it was.

"Lord Pile Driver..." He grunted through his teeth.

Anon smacked his face. "Everyone loves that McQueens! Why!?"

"I made that point to him before he entered. He replied, 'Not enough sex,' then walked in there." He motioned to the door."I hate that stallion, and I'm sure the princess doesn't like the idea he sees mares as ownable objects rather than living, thinking beings."

Anon nodded. "Hey, tell you what?" Dead Eye looked up at him. "We'll go to that room, help you get that loan?"

"You agree with my idea of the greenhouse?"

"Sure? It'll save more bits so we can put it to other more...." He looked at the large double doors leading into the Solar Court. "useful things like funding the Canterlot Orphanage or Old Folks Home."

Dead Eye scratched his chin with his hoof. "I haven't even thought of that...Lord Anon, you truly think of the people. You have such a kind soul."

Anon smiled at the stallion. "Thanks, that means a lot."

A few moments he had passed while they talked about why Anon was there. While Dead Eye was happy that it was nearly Anon's seventh year in Equestria, seeing Lord Pile Driver walk out of the room with a low-hanging head was even more pleasing. The stallion waiting for two and a half hours smiled smugly at Pile Driver.

Anon and Dead Eye walked into the courtroom, smiling ear to ear.

"Now presenting Lord's Dead Eye and Lord Anon!" The royal announcer announced loudly. He looked down at the paper. "The Argument is establishing a greenhouse at the entrance to the Crystal Cavern!"

They looked up to Celestia, sitting with a soft, even smile on her face. It was funny for Anon that she put on such a buoyant mood after dealing with Pile Driver. He and Dead Eye smiled at the diarch.

"Princess, as the announcer had said, I've come to you to ask for a loan from the royal treasury."

"Why?" She asked in an even tone. "Why should I?"

Dead Eye cleared his throat and said, "My friend in West Equestria has informed me because of their drought, prices for carrots and lettuce will go up by twenty percent. With the greenhouse, we could lower these costs by ten percent by the second harvest."

Celestia tilted her head, looking at Anon. "Do you have anything to add?"

He nodded, taking a step closer. "Princess, " He said with his thoughts already coming into place. His heart began beating quickly, and his heart started to pump. His whole body was in his triple f mode, but this was only a short speech to aid Dead Eye. Anon felt everything slow down as he prepared to speak; Celestia inched closer in her seat, waiting for him to speak. "I fully agree with Dead Eye. Not only is he thinking of Canterlot, but he is also about those who aren't as privileged as us. He told me it took some time to develop statistics of what could happen if this isn't passed." He looked to Dead Eye and winked with a sly smile. "In five years, we would need to shut down the Old Folks Home, in ten the Canterlot Orphanage, then within twenty, most of the fast food restaurants would need to shut down. I agree this is a long-term outlook over a curible drought in California, but I'm sure you see where he was thinking. Not just about the higher-ups but everything. I stand behind this project."

While Anon was ready to pass out, not liking to speak publicly, he was prepared to cry. He did not like speaking publicly because he likes to keep to himself, often expressing his opinion only in his mind. On the other hand, Celestia knew this of Anon and was surprised he spoke his voice. She could also agree while Dead Eye's estimates were too far away, she also saw where he was right. While the greenhouse would lower the cost in two years by ten percent, she could see that this was an extra ten percent for Canterlot's local economy.

With a smile and a nod. "I shall approve and offer a free royal boon towards this project. I am moved that you are truly thinking about the ponies; I am even more moved that you managed to get someone such as Anon, who is quiet to aid you. He sets his morals high, and he never lies to me. I will offer up to two million bits to fund the future Royal Canterlot Greenhouse."

Dead Eye's nose touched the floor while Anon smiled down at him. "Thank you so much, Princess Celestia! I am very grateful for your generous donation!"

"And I am grateful you brought this up with me." The bells rang, ending the Solar Court until three of that afternoon. "Court is adjourned until three. Thank you for seeing me."

While Dead Eye turned away, Anon smiled, grabbing his chest sternly. He fell onto his ass, giving a long exasperated sigh. Celestia snorted into a light giggle at the human's actions. He always seemed to make her laugh, no matter what he didn't. He was always trying to act like a much saner Pinkie Pie.

"Was it that hard?" Celestia asked with a smile.

Anon proceeded to fall onto his back. "Oh God, yes..." He said, sounding exhausted all to Tartarus. "That was harder than I thought it would be."

Celestia lifted Anon into the air with her banana-colored magic. "Well, come, let's go get some tea." She stepped off her throne and kindly dismissed her guards.

It was a few hours later that day. The night court had started at six, and it was a little after seven. Celestia was sitting in her room while reading another report from Rainbow Dash, explaining how she learned that even when you are close to your dream, your friends and family should always come first. What had led to Rainbow Dash learning such a lesson was a mystery; only the classes mattered to her.

She smiled, putting the scroll in a magical box that never had a bottom, but she could pull any note she wished to read from the elements of harmony. Taking another sip of tea, she moved on with her paperwork. The next is the certification of Lord Dead Eye's greenhouse idea.

"He's so nice helping him out. Dead Eye always comes out so blunt and right to the point." She thought aloud while writing her signature and stamping the certificate with red hot wax. "I'm glad Anon spoke up...I don't. I would have given a pony two million bits." She laughed a little. "Such a wonder."

A couple of soft knocks from one of her servants who happened to walk in. It was Lexicon. "P-princess?" She asked quietly, looking at the princess with soft green eyes. "Lord Anon wishes to speak to you."

Oh no! She thought in fear. I'm not done with my week yet!. "Send him in quickly; I was getting ready to sleep. Long day, you know?"

Lexicon nodded, turning away from the door. She said a few words to Anon before the human stepped in. He was hiding something behind his back. Celestia smiled, guessing it was about her gift.

"What is it for me this time?" She asked kindly.

He looked away from her. "You remember what I said before we started to eat dinner? I just wanted to say I was sorry for the exaggeration."

Celestia looked away, remembering dinner quite well.

While waiting for Luna to finish up her afternoon wakeup routine, Celestia and Anon sat talking calmly to each other. The dining hall was lit with tiny circling orbs of light that changed from yellow to blue again. The sun was beginning to make way for the moon so Luna could raise it.

This was another thing Anon had a hard time believing, and it took a quick trip to the moon to help him realize the planet was much bigger than the sun and moon. Two aura-like beams were flowing with energy that struck the earth. Then, he felt the whole moon shift rapidly. He saw the entire planet in just a few seconds. After that, he had to change his pants.

"So why'd you help Dead Eye?" Celestia asked.

Anon shrugged. "Felt like it, I guess. Excited about my party is all I can think of. I mean, I helped Doughnut Joe carry a couple of bags of flour." His stomach made a sound that could have resembled a tiny dragon growling. He chuckled, smacking his stomach lightly a few times. "Man...I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Instantly, his hands shot to his mouth, and his eyes lit up. "I-I....SORRY!!!" He screamed, running out of the dining hall and leaving a confused princess and her even more confused sister.

Luna looked at her sister. "What just happened?"

Finally getting what he had said, Celestia looked down and sighed sadly. "He let another one of his human exaggerations slip..."

"So," He said, snapping Celestia out of her reverie. Anon pulled a small box from behind his back. It looked like the box he came to Equestria with. It was a small black box with a diamond in gold silk. "I found all the bits I've been saving and got you this."

Celestia lifted the box over to her and smiled. "I forgive you."

"B-but you haven't looked inside yet!" He shouted.

Celestia looked at the box. "I know, I just wanted to say that. I understand that some of your old habits may jump out without you thinking." Opening the box, Celestia gasped at what was inside. "My word! A Dragon Lilly!? These only grow in volcanos where dragons nest!"

Anon inched closer. "I know...I had to give a dragon quite the coin to protect me while I went to pick it up. He looked just if not happier than you are when he saw the gold I was giving him."

Celestia looked up at Anon, tears filled with joy and also sadness. Here was one of her best friends, who spent everything he had to get it. "When did you get it?"

"A month ago...I was saving it for...ugh...forget it..." Anon turned to leave, but Celestia quickly shut the door.

"Don't!" She shouted. "Please...Anon, tell me what you were saving this for. If it was for somepony else-"

Anon blushed and looked away. "It was for you...I was going to ask...you..." He sat down, looking away from Celestia. "I wanted to go on a date with you..."

Celestia gasped. While this was new, she was sure there was something different about him for a couple of weeks. She looked down at the flower. "Yes..." She moved up to him, kissing his lips softly when she moved her head away. "You might need to leave, however."

"Why? I wanted to talk more...." He looked away.

"I know, Anon...It's just...I'm still in the middle of my heat...." She looked away, blushing.

Anon smacked his face. "I forgot about that...it's why you don't have that many servants...?" He looked at Celestia.

She nodded. "Anon...I'm sorry..."

Anon suddenly jumped, knocking Celestia over. "Celestia..." He said softly. "Please...I don't want to spend another night alone..."

Celestia opened her mouth, trying to hold back her tears. "I-I didn't know youth-"

"Celestia! I thought about you the day you let me stay in the castle..." Anon moved his knee up, planting a kiss on Celestia's neck. "You're so beautiful, kind, sweet, amazing...caring..." He kissed her again. "You've helped me so much...I've spent almost seven years without one person to love, and I figured I was never going to get to return to my earth. I'm done with my morals and codes..."

"Anon-"

"No Celestia...I want you...I want it all. I don't care if you're an animal," He pointed to himself. "And....so am I."

Celestia was like a dam, ready to explode. "Anon...shut up and take me already!" She moaned a little. "Please...it's been two hundred years!"

With magic magic, Celestia tore his shirt off, revealing his pumped abs. When a guy's board, why not use the royal gym? Celestia rested her hoof on his six-pack. "I wish I had fingers..." She said woefully. "I'm sure these would feel much more sexier."

Anon stood up and began unbuttoning his pants. They fell quickly, giving Celestia a view of his growing cock. However, Anon wanted to take this a little slow.

Starting from her lips, he began to kiss Celestia passionately. Feeling the inside of her mouth, she tried to push it back, but he wasn't having that. Laughing a little, he made his tongue deeper into her mouth, close to her throat. He was lucky he had an ACDC young, or he couldn't be doing this. A moment later, he broke away, leaving Celestia very breathless. Swimming helped him build stamina in his lungs, allowing him to hold his breath underwater for close to two minutes before he started to feel his lungs wanting to collapse.

Then he moved to her neck. Biting down on it gently before kissing her. "You mine..." He said softly, moving down lower to her stomach. Anon stopped at her nipples, smiling as he began to twirl his tongue around the rims. He took turns on each, already starting to tell Celestia was really into it. She moaned in a calling manner, begging him to go down more. "Say please..." Anon whispered, only loud enough for Celestia to barely hear.

"Please Anon!" She begged though a gruff moan.

Smiling, Anon found himself right at Celestia's soaking wet pussy. It had already started to pool up a little. He took his mouth and bit down on her clitoris, exciting a very loud moan. Taking this as the go-ahead, he reached in deep with his tongue, making sure it was flat to cover as much as he could. He could taste Celestia; it tasted like "Bananas?" He stopped momentarily to ask before returning to work on the sun goddess's pussy.

It didn't take long for Celestia to reach her first climax. She moaned loudly as a gush of her fluids went down his throat. He looked up at her, wiping his mouth with his forearm. "Tasty..." He gave a nod of approval. Anon moved back up to the panting Celestia and kissed her with still some of her fluids inside his mouth.

"Buck me...please...I can't..." Celestia panted. "Please!"

"Call me Master..."

"Please, Master! Buck me like I'm a naughty princess!" She begged loudly. "I'm ready...please, master!"

Anon raised his body. "Turn over, now, pet." Celestia quickly complied, moving her tail out of the way. Her thighs were matted down with her pussy's warm juices. He grabbed her seat and pulled it a few times. "Beg..."

"Master-"

"I said beg!" He ordered.

"We beseech thee to buck us raw!" Celestia screamed. "We beg of you, master!"

While it was new to hear Celestia talk like her sister did a few years ago, Anon was contemptuous. He moved his full-sized cock right under her pussy, slowly rubbing his head right around it. Celestia moaned in anticipation. He was done toying with her, so Anon made his way right into Celestia with one sharp movement. Her eyes grew wide as she took in his-sized cock.

"O-oh my!" She squeezed the inside of her pussy around Anon's rock-hard cock. She moaned as she waited for him to move again, saying. "I-it's deeper t-then most..."

Anon made another thrust with less power, but it still made Celestia moan for more. "Faster..." She said. "Master...faster, please."

"As you wish, my pet. You've been a good girl; good girls get what they want." He pushed in again, starting to pick up the pace. At first, it was slow, but after ten or so thrusts, Celestia began noticing a sharp increase in speed. The tempo of the thrusts grew quicker and quicker. He grunted, pushing harder and harder as the pace quickened. Celestia was gasping for air in between the powerful moans.

"I'm close! Don't stop!" Celestia shouted. "Master, don't stop!" Anon took this as a sign to move harder. "Ah! Yes!" She screamed. "FUCK ME ANON!"

Anon was grinning ear to ear as he was having the time of his life. For both him and Celestia, they hadn't had sex in years. While Celestia hadn't had sex in two hundred years, Anon could tell that this would leave them feeling a great relief. He made sure with each thrust, his hips pushed a loud smack when he thrust forward. Now, he could even feel himself getting close despite his stamina.

"Pet, scream my name..." He said, slowing down his thrusts to lure her.

"M-master Anon...please don't slow down! I'm so close!"

"What was that?" He asked, licking his finger. Celestia turned her head at him and grew comprehensive Eye. "I didn't hear you."

"M-master...tis exit only!" Anon didn't care; he was too into it. He stuck his finger right into her plot hole, causing Celestia to jump, making her cum with the force of a title wave. Her insides squeezed up around her. "Ahhhh....oh..." Celestia's head jerked upwards as her sweet banana-flavored juices ran down both legs.

Anon was closer than ever, with the juices helping to make the experience much more pleasurable. With one final hard thrust, he cummed right inside. Celestia gasped, feeling his climax as he pulled out. He was out of breath, but he wasn't done. She'd climaxed twice, but Anon hadn't.

"Pet, turn around." He said with a stern voice. "We're not done. It's time for dessert."

Celestia did as she was told, turning to see Anon's wet dick, fresh from her still-leaking pussy. "W-what does my master wish?"

"Suck it, now." Celestia nodded slowly, a small smile forming around her lips.

She moved Anon onto the bed with magic and gently set him down while he lay on his back. She moved up to him lustily, shaking her hips with each step. "As my master wishes." She said with a hit of need in her voice. She licked her lips slowly as she approached his still-bulging cock that was hard as a rock. Celestia's wings flared out as she licked his cock slowly up its shaft. She licked her lips again, saying, "Salty...but sweet."

Celestia continued to work at Anon, making sure to make his whole cock wet with her saliva before taking her mouth and covering his cock to the halfway point. "So warm..." Anon said, almost moaning. It was more like a grunt, but Celestia took this as the go-ahead. She made her first pass, working slowly as she bobbed her head up and back down. Anon gasped as she moved her tongue with her head, creating a wave of pleasure Anon hadn't felt in years. It was like beating the final boss on the hardest difficulty. The feeling of excitement and joy over such a feat. What made this even better was he was fucking a goddess, and boy did she take her title seriously. She started to move faster. "More!" He said, his back arching upward slightly. "More pet! More!"

Celestia moved faster, working her tongue even more around his shaft. He was at a loss of breath, gasping for air while feeling the pleasure of a divine bringing her innate magic to work him up. He clenched the sheets with both hands when Celestia started using her wings.

"God...." He gasped. "You're amazing...Keep going, pet!"

"Yes, master..." She said through a mumble.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, or you might God!" Anon's whole body jerked upwards as he felt himself get close once again. Celestia was using her wings, tongue, and mouth to work on him. Each pump of her head sent a pleasure down his spine and up again. With the amount of dopamine his brain was pushing out, his whole body was free of pain or sorrow. Anon's eyes were rolled back in his head; he was trapped in a world filled with pleasure.

Then it happened: Anon reached his climax, ejecting his sperm into her mouth. She moaned at the taste, opening her mouth. Some started to drip out of her mouth, but she licked it up, and with an audible gulp, she swallowed it all down. Gasping, she said, "Are you satisfied, master?"

Anon couldn't speak the words, only mouthing his satisfaction. Y-yeah... He was having trouble breathing; his eyes were trapped shut, and he swore he saw an array of psychedelic colors. "That was amazing...better than any human, no doubt..."

Celestia winked as she moved over next to Anon. They kissed for more than a minute. "I love you, Anon..."

Anon placed his hand on the side of Celestia's face, gently rubbing it with his thumb. "And I love you..."

"Next time Anon...I'm the master."

"Y-" He paused, then smiled with a nod. "Yes, master."

Author's Note

Edited 9/12/23