All Things Go

by doctor dapples

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 4496

A teacher goes on vacation, and attempts to reconcile his feelings for one of his students.

I wrote this a long time ago, as a commission to one of my more loyal followers. The original dates back to December of 2012, and this is one of the last pieces of ponyfiction I would ever write.

Ears is a former counselor of Twilight Sparkle at the School for Gifted Unicorns, but lately, he's been unable to get her out of his head. He takes a sabbatical to Shearcago in an attempt to get his thoughts together.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-16 17:20:03 UTC

Chapter 1

“Maybe a sabbatical would do me some good. Maybe a sabbatical would do me some good. Maybe a sabbatical would do me some good.”

Ears repeated the phrase to himself, his voice growing ever more mocking with each new sentence. The first time he said it - to Princess Celestia herself, no less - he stated it with confidence that was at least mostly genuine. There were always the nagging doubts. If he hadn’t those, he wouldn’t need the sabbatical in the first place. But Ears had certainly managed to convince himself that stepping away from the Canterlot School for a semester would clear his mind.

The train’s brakes screeched, and Ears winced. There was something about the rails leading in and out of Shearcago that made them noticeably louder than in other cities. Even towns like Appleloosa, which clearly had fewer resources than the bustling metropolis, somehow managed to have transportation that didn’t set his teeth on edge. In all fairness to the city, Ears had been in a funk since he passed a certain unicorn on his way out of Princess Celestia’s court.

He had even gone into his books when he got home, searching his dictionary for the definition of irony. He was surprised to find his own picture was nowhere to be seen, and he ended up packing in a huff. Of course he would run into her on the day he left for the express purpose of forgetting about her. Of course of course of-

Ears halted as he felt the first prick of cold against his withers. When he looked up, a snowflake landed on his nose. He had been so lost in his own thoughts, that he hadn’t noticed the change in the weather. The coolness of Canterlot’s shadow did more than just give Shearcago a softer tone. It also lowered the temperature enough to provide a perfect home for some late autumn snowfall.

For the first time since he left Canterlot, Ears smiled. He readjusted his saddlebag and trotted down the street, enjoying the brisk cool air and the flakes that stuck to and subsequently melted against his pelt. The walk to the hotel was a long one, but he enjoyed every minute of it.

Once Ears had checked into his room, he headed straight for the balcony. His room was on the eighth floor, and while that put him only at a medium height by Shearcago standards, it still gave him a very good view of the city that stretched out before him. He sighed, feeling the tension in his muscles already beginning to dissipate, making room for the relatively clean city air.

“Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong,” he mused to the city. The sun had escaped from the grip of the snow clouds, and now hovered just above the tops of the tallest buildings. Luna still had some time before she needed to be roused from sleep. Ears nodded, squinting into the sun. “I’m tearing myself apart over Twilight, and what has it accomplished? I’ve forgotten what this feels like.” Ears knew that in his determination to banish the image of this former student from his thoughts, all he had succeeded in was cementing her onto a pedestal from which he couldn’t topple her.

He had recognized the spark that Princess Celestia had seen in Twilight. Certainly countless others had seen it in her as well. And like any other pony, he remained in awe of both her talents, and her ability to keep cool enough to apply them when the time came, which seemed more often than not. But Ears had allowed his admiration to take on a different form, and the distress over it had robbed him of any joy he once held for life.

And as that thought crossed his mind, he felt the familiar sensation of the Celestial magic stretch across the sky. Ears looked out towards the horizon, feeling his hairs bristle as the magic that coursed from just beneath his Canterlot home brought down the sun. For a moment, the shadows stretched for miles, and Ears found himself eclipsed in darkness from Shearcago’s crown jewel, the 233. The edges of the 233 glowed as if the unseen side of the building were on fire. As darkness swept in, the white of the snow became even more prominent, and Ears marveled at the blanket that covered the city. He considered sleeping out on the balcony.

But as he gazed out into the emptiness of the night air, speckled with falling bits of white, he felt the chill of the melted snow from earlier. There was a mild sting in the bottoms of his hooves, which had spent the most time in the crunchy snow. He went back into his room, and was beginning to slide the door shut when he caught a glimpse of the moon, already pushed into the sky by Luna’s magic, already hiding behind the clouds.

On the other side of the mountain, perhaps Twilight was looking in the same direction. Maybe in that instant, they both wanted to look at the same square inch of the heavens. But while Ears could see the entire panorama of the sky, all Twilight could do was gaze into the mountain. They were worlds away, and they always would be.

Ears fell asleep easily that night, and thankfully did not remember his dreams in the morning.

Chapter 2

Twilight wasn’t sure that she really needed wings, but she had faith that the Princess chose her for a reason. She was less sure of the strength of those wings, and of her ability to operate them for an extended period of time. She had read up on pegasi while Rainbow Dash was at Wonderbolt training, and the formulas for compensating for wind speed and aerodynamics had been permanently etched into her mind through repetition. But as with so many other things, the frustrating maxim was once again true: reading was one thing, doing it was something else entirely.

Twilight landed back in the castle courtyard, a little unsteady, but careful not to tread too much on the hems of her coronation gown. Rainbow Dash was the first to welcome her back.

“You’re really getting it down, Twilight! Still a little shaky on your takeoffs and landings, but that just comes with time.”

“Thanks for the compliment, Rainbow, but I feel like I’m really struggling up there. I always read that when that flying instinct kicks in, you don’t feel your weight.” She shook her head and sighed. “And I feel like I’m carrying a sack of potatoes.”

“This is only your first day flying, darling. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Rarity placed a hoof on Twilight’s back. She gave her friend’s withers a reassuring rub, as Rainbow chimed in again.

“Also, you’re a lot heavier than a pegasus!”

There was a chorus of gasps. Applejack turned and glared at the pegasus. “What the hay are you getting at, Rainbow?”

For a moment, Rainbow could only stare slack-jawed at everypony’s horrified expression. When it dawned on her, she immediately held up her hooves in a defensive gesture. “No, that’s not what I meant! I mean that pegasi and unicorns have different types of bones!”

“Oh!” exclaimed Twilight, suddenly remembering her anatomy books. “Pegasi bones are less compact than unicorns or earth ponies. Their bones are actually a little bit hollow, like birds.”

Pinkie Pie gasped, and stuck her muzzle into the middle of the conversation. “That’s why Mrs. Cake says she’s big-boned!”

The awkward silence that followed was broken by a soft, yet authoritative voice. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” called Celestia, Ruler of the Day. Twilight excused herself from her friends and went over towards where the Princess was standing, next to her sister Luna. “I hope you are enjoying your new abilities.”

“Oh, yes, Princess,” Twilight said with a nod. “It’s taking me a little bit of time to get used to flying, but I’m sure that will come with practice.”

Both sisters returned the nod. “It has been centuries since I first stretched my wings, but like most things, it will come in time. Speaking of time, how much do you have?”

“Princess?”

Celestia chuckled. “I’m sorry. I meant, how long do you need before you move back into the castle?”

Twilight cocked her head. “With all due respect, Princess, I was under the impression that I would remain in my current home. I would remain in Ponyville.” She was suddenly anxious, fearful that she was to be ultimately uprooted from the quaint little library, and was expected to move back into her room at Canterlot Castle. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy being that close to the Princess, but the prospect that she would suddenly find herself so far removed from her friends left her uncomfortable.

Thankfully, Princess Celestia would assuage her fears. “And it shall remain your home. But I would like you to come stay for a few days, so that we might better discuss the responsibilities that come with being a Princess. I’m afraid it’s not quite simple enough for a discussion over tea. I was merely asking how soon you would be ready to visit again.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Twilight, a smile spreading on her face. “I can be ready tomorrow if you really want me to be!”

Celestia laughed again, and Twilight was pretty sure she saw Princess Luna roll her eyes. “That’s a little early, even for me,” said Celestia, herself known within castle walls for being something of a procrastinator. “I would suggest that you come see me again in a week. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect!” exclaimed Twilight, catching herself off guard with her own excitement. She quickly composed herself. “Will I be shadowing you the whole time?”

Celestia shook her head. “Your time will be divided between myself, Luna, and Princess Cadence.”

Upon hearing her name, Princess Cadence broke from the conversation she was having with Twilight’s friends and joined the group. “Yes, your highness?”

“I was just telling Twilight about her upcoming lessons. Perhaps you could tell her more. Compared to ours, your lessons were not so long ago.”

“I still remember them quite well,” said Cadence before turning to address Twilight. “Don’t worry about being prepared. I managed to soak in everything they asked of me, and I’ve never had your head for facts.” At this, Twilight blushed, which elicited a chuckle from Cadence. “Besides,” she continued, “you’ll have good teachers. Many of them you might recognize from your school days.”

“Less than I had originally planned,” added Celestia. “The Counselor, Ears, has taken a sabbatical, in Shearcago.”

“Good,” Shining Armor snorted, returning from issuing some orders to the Palace Guard. He took his place between his mate and his little sister, who rebuked him.

“Shining Armor!”

He gave his head a shake and sighed like someone who was growing weary of their sibling’s naivete. “I don’t trust Ears. Never have.”

“He has never been anything but supportive of me. His highest priority was my future, and you have absolutely no basis for your distrust of him.”

“Twily,” began Shining.

“Don’t patronize me!”

The stallion straightened his posture and frowned. “Twilight, with all due respect, if I wasn’t good at reading the motivations behind strange ponies, I wouldn’t be Captain of the Guard.”

Twilight wanted to say something, to defend the honor of her old counselor, but Shining had bested her. He did have a talent for picking out suspicious behavior, and his hunches were rarely wrong. The idea of there being something wrong with Ears: it didn’t sit well with her. She sat back on her haunches and sighed, feeling defeated.

Even as Celestia lowered the sun, Shining Armor’s words weighed on Twilight’s mind. Her friends had already said their goodbyes that evening, and had caught the earlier train back to Ponyville. They had attempted to convince Twilight to go with them, but she hung back, telling them that there were still things she needed to see to before returning to the library.

She galloped through the halls of the Celestial Palace until she came across the Princess herself, on her way to bed. Celestia brought the tip of her wing to her muzzle, trying to suppress a yawn, but ultimately failing. She smacked her lips a few times and gave Twilight a tired smile. “Yes, Princess Twilight?”

The title still sounded alien to her, and if there had been any other ponies around, Twilight would have assumed that Celestia was speaking to someone else with a similar name. “I-” she froze up, unsure as to what was appropriate.

“You?” answered Celestia, smirking a little. The wry response was just enough to break the tension that silenced Twilight.

“I have been wondering about what my brother said today.”

“About Ears, you mean?”

“He’s smart, you know.”

“Who? Your brother or Ears?” asked Celestia.

“Both, I guess,” Twilight said with a nod of the head. “I’m just not sure who to believe.”

“A counselor hardly bears the same weight as a family member. Even a great one.”

“Why did he leave?” asked Twilight, her voice a more forceful.

“All he said was that he believed a sabbatical might do him some good. Then he grabbed the train to Shearcago. He said it as if he just needed a vacation.” At this, the princess’s voice dipped into a lower register, applying an added hint of seriousness. “There was something in his eyes, though.”

“His eyes?”

“I am not exactly sure what your brother sees, but I can tell you what I see. Ears is a very troubled pony, and when he spoke to me, he was even more so.”

“I want to see him,” said Twilight.

Celestia responded with a subtle raise of her brow.

“I need to talk to him again. I need to understand what my brother sees.”

“Are you sure that you are ready for this? You may not like what you discover.”

Twilight shook her head. “This is something I have to do. Do I have your permission, Princess?”

Celestia smiled. “You don’t have to ask permission from me, fellow Princess.”

And as Twilight boarded the last train of the day, she thought of a poem she had once come across: “He said he’s going back to find/ what’s left of his world/ the world he left behind/ not so long ago.” Those words seemed to swirl together with Shining’s concerns, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was a connection between Ears’ departure and the internal struggle that seemed to be apparent to everypony but her.

The train was mostly empty, and Twilight had her choice of seats. She took up her seat in the middle of the car, and leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. The conductor shouted “All aboard!” moments before the train whistle blew. The loud rumbling rhythm of the wheels beneath the car started, slowly at first, but eventually building to such a rapid beat that it blurred into one deep, persistent hum.

Twilight glanced out the window. The bright lights of Canterlot, intensified for the coronation, retreated into the distance. With each mile, more lights disappeared into the darkness of the night, until there was nothing left but Twilight’s reflection in the glass. Her tired purple irises looked back at her, black as midnight.

She felt herself nod, pulled her head back up, but she started to nod again. This pattern continued for almost a minute before she was unable to keep up the struggle. Her head drooped, her eyes closed, and Twilight fell into a deep sleep, still speeding through Equestria.

“Princess?” The voice seemed far away as Twilight halfway opened her eyes before closing them again. “Princess?” the voice pleaded, a little louder. Twilight’s forced herself awake, immediately discovering that the train car was completely empty of passengers. The only pony left was the conductor who was daintily trying to stir her from her sleep. This time of the night, he usually just told stragglers to “get the buck off his train”, but he had been particularly nervous about disturbing a newly crowned Princess. He sighed with relief as Twilight awoke on her own and walked out into Shearcago’s night.

One of the biggest complaints from Manehattanites was that they couldn’t see the stars at night. Their sky was blurred by the streetlights that dotted every boulevard and avenue. But while Manehattan glowed a soft yellow, Shearcago flashed neon. Occasionally, there would be a glimpse of stars when the timing between the signs for bars and nightclubs aligned perfectly, but mostly the sky disappeared behind bright oranges, green, and yellows.

Shearcago and Manehattan were often compared, but aside from their size, they couldn’t have been more different. In contrast to the open, widespread area of Manehattan, Shearcago was huddled in the shadow of the mountain, much of it carved into its very depths. This meant that portions of the city spent most of the day in darkness, and this darkness was reflected in the faces of the ponies who filled it. Even now, several ponies had stopped to shoot her suspicious looks. Twilight may have left her gown back in Canterlot, but she was still an alicorn, which drew its fair share of attention.

She smiled nervously at the small crowd and waved. A dark brown unicorn grunted unintelligibly and walked away. The rest of the onlookers seemed to follow his example. Twilight exhaled with relief. Using her magic, she fished out a scrap of paper from her saddlebag. She looked up from the address several times, trying to orient herself, and then started walking.

At the hotel a few blocks away, a dark blue Earth pony scanned the city. If his night vision had been better, he might have noticed the light purple speck slowly approaching, eight floors below. Instead, his eyes followed the lights of carriages as they sped through the still busy city streets. He sipped from a warm mug of tea. The tea was crisp and had a bite to it, not unlike the snow that had long since melted, leaving the town a scattered collection of large and unusually deep mud puddles.

The 233 was lit up for the night, and its ethereal blue glow coated the entire west side of the hotel, which included Ears, his balcony, and his tea. From the third floor lounge, which opened up onto its very own balcony, he could hear the faint sounds of the jazz trio the hotel had been promoting. Tonight he had planned to actually attend, as it was their last Shearcago gig, but something about the colors of the night had him eschewing the smoky lounge for the surprisingly pleasing city air.

Ears sighed. The sabbatical was helping, though it had certainly taken its time. For the first week, he had barely left the room. His room service bill during those days was a startling testament to his resolve to cut himself off from the world.

It didn’t last. Before long, cabin fever set in, and Ears had felt it necessary to expand his realm to the rest of the hotel. He spent a few days just exploring the different amenities: the spa, the restaurant, the bar. When he stepped out into the streets for the first time since he got off the train, Ears felt a momentary panic that washed away almost as quickly as it came on.

The loneliness had been easy enough to dispel. He had struck up a quick friendship with a unicorn who turned out to be the boyfriend of the leader of the jazz trio, and they had shot the breeze for a while. Mostly, they talked about Canterlot. Ears had been thinking he might have “cured” himself, but news of the coronation brought back those old feelings. The loneliness was gone, but the longing remained.

Through both his reverie and the empty hotel room, Ears heard the knock on the door.

He hadn’t ordered room service since the morning, when he’d just had toast with jam. Still, most of the staff knew him at this point, and as the manager always appreciated a paying customer, occasionally room service would show up with extra perks. Perhaps this was one of those times? Ears didn’t even think to use the peephole. Had he looked first, he might not have opened the door.

“Twilight Sparkle?”

“Hello, Counselor Ears,” said the Princess with a nod.

He swallowed. “You can just call me Ears. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in my office.”

“It really has,” Twilight said wistfully. “Things have changed a bit since then.” She spread and flexed her wings for him to see.

“It’s very impressive. Congratulations, Twilight.”

“Can I come in, Ears?” He was ready to refuse, albeit politely, when she added, “Please?” There was a crack in her voice, a certain sadness that he couldn’t ignore.

“Yes, of course,” he said, and opened the door wide for her entrance.

Moments later, he had placed another kettle on the stove. Twilight had initially turned down the offer of a cup of tea, but had relented. She could tell her presence made Ears nervous, and perhaps allowing him to play host would help put him at ease. As it was, the tension was thick, and the two of them sat across from each other in the hotel room, completely silent. This lull lasted for an uncomfortable period of time before Twilight finally spoke.

“You know I have to return to Canterlot.”

“Tonight?” asked Ears, a little louder than he had intended.

“Well, yes,” she nodded. “But I meant more for my instruction in the duties of a Princess.”

“Ah,” said Ears, thoughtfully. “I remember helping out your friend Cadence with her instruction.”

“I was surprised to find out that you weren’t available to instruct me, Ears.”

Ears shrugged. “Well, you know how it is. You work hard for a long time, and forget that you can take a vacation.”

“It’s a little long for a vacation, though, don’t you think?”

“Vacation, sabbatical. Just different words for needing to get away.”

“Get away from what?”

His ears perked up. “What do you mean?”

“What are you trying to get away from?”

For the first time since his stay in Shearcago, Ears felt angry. Who gave her the right to cross-examine him? “With all due respect, Princess,” he said, gritting his teeth with her new honorific, “that is personal business, and none of your affair.”

“But that’s why I came to talk to you,” said Twilight, her eyes softening.

“Why? To drag me back to that school?”

“I didn’t have any intention of dragging you, Ears. I just hoped you would participate in my instruction.”

Ears tried to force a laugh, and it came out sounding just as inorganic as it was. “Did you even consider that maybe I’m not interested in playing therapist for you again?” He found it difficult to look her in the eyes.

“I don’t believe you. Princess Celestia said that she thought something was going on with you, and I think her hunch was right.”

“You don’t know me, Twilight,” said Ears, who got up to check on tea kettle. When he discovered it was still a minute or so off from boiling, he began to pace the kitchen area.

Twilight’s eyes softened. “I know that. Shining Armor told me so.”

“He did, did he?”

She nodded. “He sees something in you that I haven’t seen before. Something that I don’t think you want to show me.”

Ears didn’t respond. He couldn’t respond. The tea kettle began hissing, started its high-pitched whistle. Twilight blinked. If Ears could hear the shriek, he made no sign of it. He just stared past her, his gaze hollow. From across the room, she took the boiling kettle off of the burner. The clink of the kettle on the burner caught Ears’ attention long enough for his thoughts to return to the hotel. He turned off the heat on the oven.

“Do you need something, Ears?”

He swallowed. “Nothing that I can actually have.”

Twilight gave him a wan smile. “Sometimes you just have to reach out and take what you want.”

“That’s a good way to end up in the dungeon,” he mumbled.

“What?” She hadn’t heard him. It was for the best.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Maybe I can help? I am a Princess now,” she said, pointing out her wings again.

He squinted, as if trying to fend off a headache. “You definitely can’t help me with this, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Well, do you need to go somewhere?”

“I probably do.”

“What about time?”

“What about it,” asked Ears, growing ever impatient with the salt being poured into his wound.

“Do you just need more time? I can speak to Celestia, make sure that you have the time to solve whatever’s bothering you.”

Time wouldn’t help. This wasn’t going to heal, just leaving a tiny scar. This was a wound that would never be able to heal. He could cover it up for the most part, but there would always be something picking at it, reopening it, exposing it to the cold air.

“I think that’s a great idea,” said Ears. Twilight smiled.

Before she left on the early morning train, she gave Ears a hug goodbye. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the things he shouldn’t: the smell of her mane, the firm embrace around his neck, or the faint warmth of her cheek against his. He was able to keep his voice from breaking when he said “I’m always glad to see you, Twilight.” It wasn’t a lie.

“And I’m glad to see you too, Ears.” She pulled back from the embrace and smiled again. “This is a really lovely city. It’s different, but still lovely. I’ll have to come back sometime to visit.”

“Did you get a chance to see the stars tonight?”

She shook her head. “When I got off the train, the signs were too bright. I couldn’t see anything.” She must have seen the disappointment in Ears, because she quickly added. “But I got a very good look at them when I was in Canterlot. Tonight was beautiful.”

“I’m sure it was.”

“Please take care of yourself, Ears.”

“You do the same, my Princess.”

Twilight couldn’t help but blush at this first use of her title with such reverence. Despite her attempt to hide it, Ears noticed the reddening, and felt some of the warmth himself. That warmth helped keep his eyes free from tears as he accompanied her to the platform, saw that she got on the train, and watched the train slowly pull away. When his heart could take it no longer, the tears broke through, blurring the image of the Express train to Canterlot as it disappeared into the distance.