Artificial Intelligence

by SuperWabbit

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Tragedy, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 4803

Twilight has always just been a smart pony, but is that true? And why is she becoming so much dumber?

Some ponies are smart beacause they study a lot, some because they are born with it, and others because they were made to be. But twilights brain is being attacked, and the cause of her being smart is at risk of corrupting, and making her dumb as derpy.

This is my first Fan Fiction, so please, feedback will be greatly appreciated.
Alternate universe for One chapter mentioning things from earth, Teen for occasional mature language.
NOTE : Grammar and punctuation may not be great, but i will / have done my best.
Enjoy! :D

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-17 03:10:03 UTC

The new apple

"No no, this report is all scientifically incorrect," Twilight frustratingly explained to spike, who was gazing out of the window thinking of his beloved Rarity. Her perfect mane, the way she walked and talked was astonishing, wishing she would be all his. "Spike! Stop daydreaming, I need to know what you think i should do about the terrible report I got today." Spike grunted and turned to face the annoyed twilight, obviously being serious about this subject.

"Okay, yeah I am ready for the 'Scientific Universe Orbit System.' I'm so excited for this, please go on," Spike replied with a sarcastic voice. Twilight knew he didn't care about these things, she just wanted to know what to do in this situation.

"It says, the earth, which must mean Equestria and beyond, orbits around the sun because it apparently has 99.8% of the solar systems mass, so the orbital force is along more significant. So earth spins around it once every 365.245 days, making one equestrian year. And because we have a higher gravitational force, the moon spins around us.. what should I do. This is all wrong. Everyone knows Princess Celestia controls the sun to orbit around us every day with her magic, what should i do about this?"

Spike grunted, mentioning something about fire. As twilight was too focussed on worrying if she messes up, she did not hear what spike had suggested. "Well, I think I am going to think about it over lunch. See you later Spike, I'm going to Applejack's house and try take on of here delicious apple pies." Twilight galloped off with her stomach rumbling, still concerned about which decision she should make. Spike, in the meantime, grabbed out his personal picture of him and rarity hugging, wishing he could get into a deeper relationship.

"Hey Big Macitosh, is Applejack here?" Asked twilight as she entered the farm. Big Mac was chewing on what seemed to be a piece of straw, while bucking down Sweet Apple Acre's sweet apple trees.

"Eeyup," uttered Big mac, pointing down to the back of the freshly painted barn, after being destroyed by some pony, most likely Apple Bloom. They had to fix it all up, because once again she and her friends were so desperate to discover their cutie marks they attempted to get it by demolition. So they somehow got a wrecking ball, and slammed it into the barn. Not exactly the smartest of plans, but she was lucky the ball came lose and only fell onto the shed and not the house.

"Hey, Sweet heart," apple jack answered in a chirpy tone.

You seem happy, what have you got there?" twilight asked curiously, gazing towards the crate with a blanket over the top.

"These, are Sweet Apple Acres new type of apples! Ah picked 'em up from far north of Ponyville, sold to me by some crazy guy, but he was nice. What're you doin' here?"

"I'm here for a break from studying, and hoping I get some food along the way." Applejack smiled, realising she can have her first taste tester.

"Well, ah brought several good ones back from up there, maybe you want try some?" She lifted up the blanket hiding the apples, which was probably a good thing. They were all blue. They were much larger then an average apple, about double the size, and it looked extremely juicy.

"Are those meant to be that colour? I don't know if i really want to try one," twilight explained carefully.

"Oh come on, you'll love 'em. Trust me, I'm not the element of honesty for nothin', please try. Ah went through all the trouble to get 'em here." Twilight nervously levitated the unpleasant looking apple towards her thirsty mouth. Come on twilight, do this for Applejack. Even if you hate it, just pretend you like it. She then took the bite. Surprisingly to her, it didn't taste bad at all. It was very juicy and strong flavour, tasting much like a mixture of green apples and blue berries.

Oh my, I'm very sorry applejack, but I've just realised I need to go back to Canterlot and discuss a topic with Celestia. Princess duties call. I'll see you later!" She quickly flew off towards Canterlot, leaving Applejack perplexed. Moments later, twilight landed back down right next to Applejack, almost crushing her.

"And yes, they taste wonderful." Once again, she dashed off into the sky. While doing so, she felt a strange sensation going on within her head, thinking it is just a really odd type of headache. Except its just going to get worse and worse.

Are you all right, twilight?

Twilight stumbled onto the palace, wishing her tedious headache would just disappear completely. It had made her flight along the clouds a lot harder, and had to rest several times on top of the cloud and drink out of it, to try and reduce how terrible it was. Although, doing such was not improving how bad it was. As she was entering the castles gates, two guards which she remembered steadily walked to her preparing to escort her to the other two princesses. Twilight always wished that cadence would be there as well, but she had very important duties back in the crystal empire.  The name of one of the guards was Blazing shield, a young colt with multiple colours of red scattered across his mane and a blue shield as his cutie mark. Twilight had gotten to know him quite well, remembering him from when he accident of him spilling water on twilights dress! He was very clumsy with much to learn, but he was very likeable with a great sense of humour. The other guard was an older mare with the name of Shimmering Sword. She was light blue with a very bright green and  gold, being one of the best body guards in all of Equestria. She never made a single mistake during her time of being one of the Alicorn's guards. Sadly, she wasn't a mare to try have fun with. She was always extremely serious, leaving no room for fun. Twilight struggled to go up the stares, with the headache which was like a dancing fire spreading throughout her skull.

"Twilight, are you all right? Do you need.." Blazing shield was interrupted by Shimmering sword.

"She is a princess, You must talk to her like one. Call her miss, and ask for permission to speak." Twilight never liked how she was always acting in such a way, she always wanted to be treated like a normal person.

"No need to be so formal. But can one of you two please get Celestia for me." Twilight pleaded to them miserably, while Shimmering Sword darted towards the room on which Celestia was most likely to be at the moment, which was probably a good thing. She could never really stand being near her, she was just so unbearable.

"Are you all right, twilight?" Twilight gazed up and saw the large, elegant princess standing before her.

"Nice rhyming by the way. There is something wrong with my head, It is killing me. It had to be 10 times worse then the average head ache," Twilight sadly told Celestia.

"I know a spell, my young princess, to hopefully cure you. Although, you may feel like your brain is being electrocuted." Twilight jumped up as soon as she said that.

"Wait, no what.. am i actually going to be.." She could not speak a single word as her brain felt as if it was being fried by Spikes flames. After the spell was finished, Celestia curiously asked the question.

"How do you feel and did you notice any difference?"

"Yes, thank you. So, will we proceed to our meeting? Or do you think its best that I go home and rest? WAIT! It's very important. I read a report that is scientifically inaccurate which was provided by you, what should i do about it?"

Twilight was sent home back to the library to get some rest, as Celestia thought it would be best. That night, she slept twice as long as she normally did, 16 instead of 8 which is double the recommended time for her age. During her deep slumber, something was crawling around up in her head. The headache was removed, but the cause of it, still remains.

TWILIGHT WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU!?!?

As she woke up, Twilight felt different. Her headache was gone and her head felt a lot lighter. She hopped out of her head, carefully trying not to wake up her baby dragon, Spike. She has always loved him since she first hatched Spike. He was a terrific assistant, always immediately doing as she wished, even if he deeply did not want to proceed with the task on hand.   At that moment, she realised what the time was. It was already lunch time! She had several things that she would have missed out on as a result of sleeping in so long. Spike could not have gotten any food, as all the food inside her house was left out of range and twilight had to use levitation to get them down. She always put them high up as she knew Spike would just eat constantly. Poor thing would be starving, unless he decided to leave the house and find food elsewhere, or be disobedient and attempt to get the food. Also, she was meant to go to the spa with Rarity hours ago, its strange that she has not come here to ask why she wasn't there. Also, 10 minutes ago she was meant to go with rainbow dash in Cloudsdale to preform here new trick she as been attempting. Just at that thought, Rainbow Dash burst through an open window, crashing into twilight.

"Twilight! Where were you!? I told you to meet me in Cloudsdale 15 minutes ago! And you have just been sitting down, sleeping. Great. Well, you need to come with me right now! You know which way it is, north from this place."

Twilight confusingly said, "Which way is north?" Rainbow dash assumed she must have misheard her.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" "I said, which way is north?" Rainbow dash was getting worried she did not mishear her. "It sounds like you don't know which way is north. I gotta clean out my ears then."

"But I did say that. I'm not joking." Rainbow dash was scared, what has happened to her friend if she doesn't know which way is north?

"You must be joking! You would always know which way north is. You would say, Oh I know everything, sun rises in east and sets in west and so on. But.. you didn't say that? Where is your scientific mumbo jumbo? You are more cool for not saying that.. but why did you not say that? Are you changeling.. or.. A SPY?!?!?!" Rainbow dash was now sweating, scared for what has happened to her friend. She really thought she was a changeling now.

"Rainbow, calm down. Why would I know that? Anyway, I've been feeling really bad recently, so can I please not help?"

"TWILIGHT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!?!?"Rainbow dash was extremely worried, and threw twilight onto her back, and rainbow dash dashed, dashing towards Canterlot to ask Celestia.

"Celestia! Twilight is.. Dumb now! She could not tell which way is north! What should I do, please!" Celestia expressed a confused face, not sure what that's meant to mean, then remembering the spell she cast last night. It might have possibly caused her to lose her IQ.

"Oh no, I'm sorry this might possibly be my fault. As I am not completely assured, you will just need to monitor her over the next several days. If it progressively gets worse, bring her back to me and we will try our very best to get my star student and fellow princess, back to normal." On that note, Rainbow dash sighed and escorted Twilight back to town.

"OK twilight, go back to your home. I am going to be running some, um, totally uncool tests on you with Applejack." The thing inside her brain, which was changing her into a less intelligent mare, was only getting worse. Soon, she might possibly be dumb as a panda.

The idiot test

"OK, twilight. If you would follow us down into this creepy basement with nothing bad at all inside, we would start our tests." Rainbow dash thought all the science, maths, geography, history and English tests within Applejacks basement, were extremely bad. Of course, she had to say it out loud which just made twilight nervous, even though the twilight they all knew and loved thought the things they would be doing underneath Applejack's barn were great. "What bad you mean?" asked twilight. Her sentences are become less understandable by each passing minute, which she should have said 'what do you mean by bad?'

"Okay, sweetheart. What'd you like to start off with? Mathematics, English, geography, you get the picture.

"Maths, I am very goods at this." The other two were starting to get frustrated at how terrible Twilight's grammar is becoming.

"Yeah OK start with one of the least cool ones. What is.. 7 plus 1?" Rainbow dash thought she was starting with an extremely easy question.

"Answer.. is lies! Duh." Rainbow dash and Applejack looked at each other, confused as why the answer is that.

"Um, Ah don't think that's the correct answer. How'd  you get it?" Applejack asked, concerned how she got it.

"Seven rhymes with Kevin. Kevin rudd is, was, a politic in Austria.. or was it Australia.. And he out got kicked. He also try get back in but loss. And one rhymes with won. He no one, so its lies. Duh."

"What are you talking about? What are those places.. that's definitely got to not be in Equestria, who would think of places that sound that bad. And what kind of name is that? That sounds so uncool." Rainbow Dash, as well as Applejack did not understand where she would have gotten such an answer from. But applejack realised where she may have gotten it from.

"Um, sweetheart. Is that from the other realm you went to? Ah know it cant be from our world. But how could you remember that? Your getting dumber, and.. Oh never mind, just go on to history." Applejack really did not want to do this now, because she expected all the answers to be this bad. "Okay then, ah got one. Who is the famous unicorn that you always mention and you finished a spell for to become the princess?" Applejack thought she would know this, as it must be stuck in her head from constantly thinking about him.

"Its either Gandalf or Dumbledore." Twilight has become confused over which realms information is from what, so she keeps thinking of back in the human world. Before, she didn't know the human world was called Earth, but she knows about movie characters, so it was very strange.

"Please just stop, with all these things from the other realm, just actually think from in our world. You know, equestria? This magical place? Yeah! SO SAY ABOUT THAT INSTEAD OF THESE RANDOM PIECES OF CRAP!" Rainbow was very frustrated now, as she would not say a single answer they were hoping for. The shouting was unexpected from applejack, so when she did she fell backwards and hit her head on the side of the chair on which twilight was sitting on.

"Dang it, Rainbow! Look what you've done, Ah'm bleeding now thanks to you know who. You finish up with this session, Ah'm goin' home." She never wanted to be a part of this in the first place, but was doing it all for her friend twilight. Now that Rainbow got her hurt, there was more reason for her to avoid doing this. She realised she was already in her home so changed her sentence. "Lemme rephrase that, Ah'm going upstairs."

"Celestia damn it! Well, I guess its just you and me, Twilly. Spell your own name."

"T..W..I..L..I..T..E     S..P..R..K..L," once again failing. She has really become extremely dumb, possibly worse then Derpy Hooves.

Rainbow dash had also had enough, but she wanted to make sure Twilight could get better. "OK last question.. by the way that last one you said was wrong. What is the capital of Equestria? Surely you know this, you were born there."

"Cloudsdale."

"I give up. Lets leave this barn and go to shops or something, I don't know. But I wish Cloudsdale was the capital of Equestria, it is at least 20% cooler then Canterlot."

While both walking out of Sweet Apple Acres, the thing inside Twilight Sparkles head was moving around, and might soon be noticed.

So.. she IS a spy?

Rainbow dash, Pinkie Pie and most importantly, Twilight Sparkle, rushed off to Canterlot quickly as possible to inform Celestia of what has been making her unintelligent. Because Pinkie couldn't fly, they decided to take the train. Twilight being the princess, got them three free tickets, including a whole carriage to themselves. This was probably for the best since Pinkie Pie would torture the living daylights out of everyone else on the train.

"Okay I got one! I spy with my little incy wincy eye, Something pink!" Pinkie Pies ways of entertaining herself sometimes just end up annoying everyone else, rainbow and twilight did not want to participate in this game.

"Is you it?" Twilight attempted to say whilst making sense.

Pinkie did not expect her to know the answer so quickly. "Wow your really good at this! How did you know it was my name?"

Rainbow dash sighed. "Because you said it was you the last three times. First, your mane. Second, your fur and now this time it was your name."

"Really?" Oh well, you have a turn choosing something. I am the master at this game, so beware, these skills will unleash upon you and your mother. Not that I have anything against your mother, she is a wonderful lady! She makes the best pancakes, by the way can you give me that recipe? I loved it so much!" Pinkie pie was getting excited over the thoughts of pancakes, and Rainbow Dash had to interrupt on her thoughts.

"Yeah okay. I spy with my little eye something green." She had thought of one that Pinkie Pie must not have guessed.

"I know! Its that piece of Crunchy Colt Gum on the Roof behind me! I have always hated that type of gum, gums not meant to have pieces which are crunchy. It just ruins the experience of chewing gum. Its not even chewy! I struggle to chew it, and gum is meant to be chewed through your gums."

"Let me guess, your pinkie senses told you that was the answer?" Rainbow Dash felt stupid that she forgot about that.

"Nope, I just saw it when we walked in, silly!" As the train gradually slowed down  to a stop, Pinkie got up and bounced out of the carriage.

"Shimmering sword, Celestia here not is or?" Shimmering's first thought was that the princess has been drinking multiple alcoholic beverages as she was so difficult to understand. She is not here at the moment.. She had an urgent call into the Crystal Empire, but her sister is still here."

"OK that's totally awesome, thanks. Now where is she we need her desperately unless you want a useless alicorn on your hooves." Rainbow did not want to waste time and get her friend fixed.

"She's in the throne room, and may I ask what is wrong with Twilight?" Shimmering was not generally one to ask questions.

"Nope. You have no permission to speak, but because you asked nicely, you can now leave us and guard a chicken." Rainbow didn't want her near as she as well hated that mare.

They all dashed down towards where Luna was at the moment. "Luna, Twilly here as got a bug up here nosey! We think it has killed her brain, its insane, and quite lame, her IQ has been drained, do you think the same?" Pinkie Pie's sentence was explained so quickly Luna struggled to comprehend it.

"Well, why don't you just pull it out?" Luna

"I was thinking of that, but wouldn't it like, damage her brain? Because it seems like its attached or something?" Rainbow dash was not so sure about just yanking it out of there, even though if it seemed like a fun idea.

"Actually, young mare, thats probably correct. Let me cast a spell to see if its safe to pull it out."  Luna projected a spell towards Twilights skull. It made so her head was temporarily see through, and could see all that lay inside her head. There was one large bug inside her nose and slightly sticking out, but not connecting to her skull. While doing this spell, the three of them noticed a cube-like thing resting on the side of her brain. As she took a closer look at what it was, it read 'Knowledge Booster 2000.'

"What.. why is that there?" Rainbow Dash seemed emotionless as she examined the box. "So, she IS a spy?" Rainbow assumed that meant that she was actually part a robot and send to spy on all her friends.

"No.. I think its a box that makes so she is smart, she must have had it implanted since she was an extremely young age to make her seem a lot more intelligent."

"Well, in that case.." Pinkie pie jumped forward, yanking out the bug from her nose. In doing so, blood poured out of twilights nose, as she yelped in pain. The three of them also noticed that she had not said a single word since she found out that thing was in her. "Twilly, you OK? So much blood, did I ever tell you your blood looks like tomato paste? It looks delicious, probably not the best thing to drink though even if I wanted to. Maybe I could give some to our fellow vampire, Fluttershy?" It was almost impossible for pinkie to stay serious.

"So.. I am robot or not?" Twilight appeared to be depressed about discovering this about herself, as she never had the slightest clue that lay within her.

"Your not a robot, you just have electronics placed within you." Luna was thinking of a way to make so that information that was probably damaged by the bug was back into the correct part of her brain. "I know how to make her smart again. The information which was from the box has oddly been transfered to the Hypothalamus, so ill just move it back into the Cerebrum with a spell i remember and hopefully that should cure it." Luna then stood back, highlighting her horn, focussing on Twilight. This process was difficult for the alicorn, as she never really had to use it and it required such focuss from both ponies. Whilst doing so, she got access to all of twilights thoughts and memories. Some quite disturbing, such as one Luna saw of her cutting off dead animal private parts for research.

After the process was done, Rainbow was the first person to speak up, anxiously. "So, Twilight, are you back to your usual uncool self? Being smart? Know it all? Please please please say you are."

"I.. What the happened to me, I had all these completely absurd visions of alternate universes and equations not scientifically proven by a pony? What, I don't seem to remember the past several days."

They all jumped onto her, having a large group hug. Their average Twilight Sparkle was back to normal, without anything strange left.

Luna although, is scared for the emotions that she had discovered within Twilight. Twilight loves her.

And that ends my first My little pony fan fiction! I hope you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it aswell. Please, upvote it if you have the time and any feed back would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to read it!

Hey Twilly, what's that in your nose?

Twilight knew most things in the shop still, the names but not scientific names. Everyone that has discovered about Twilights situation has become extremely concerned, as a dumb twilight would be a lot worse then the good, beloved smart Twilight. Also, her role as a princess would become very insufficient as she would not beable to complete her important duties nearly as well as before. Rainbow Dash sighed as the pink party pony hopped towards the two of them.

"Hey pinkie.. what are you doing here? I thought Gummy was sick and you were taking care of him." Rainbow dash wished she was with gummy, as pinkie was the person she wanted to see the least right now. She wasn't exactly in the mood of Pinkie.

"No, silly! I just gave him to Fluttershy to take care of him. I know nothing about animals, and she is like the goddess of little critters! I wish I was god like that too so I could just go crazy and have a million little fuzzy animals all over my house to do my bidding! And I would make them pink, don't forget that!" Pinkie was about to swarm Twilight with randomness about her day, until she noticed a thing sticking out of her nose.

"Hey twilly, what's that in your nose? Is that a accessory, like a nose piercing? Where did you get it? I want one so bad now, does it come in pink because I like pink, pink is like me, Pinkie pie! Oh, my gosh. It moved! It's an animal, i didn't know fluttershy sold anything like that? Do you think i could use my pinkie charm and seduce her into giving one for free? Maybe she could give me something fluffy and sparkly.. or with streamers! She does little incy wincy surgeries and stuff on her animals, so maybe she could attach streamers to an animal, paint it pink and cover glitter all over it and then stick it up my nose, like this!" Pinkie, for some reason, had a carrot stored inside her fluffy pink mane, pulled it out and shoved it up her nose, pretending it to be like the thing up twilights nose.

"Wait, nose animal up my nose?" Twilight stood back shocked and what pinkie had just said, unaware that there was an animal in her head.

"What the fuck is that! O my god is that thing like killing your brain, and making you dumb?" The 'thing' up her nose, was a slug-like critter, witch green pricks around its side and it was Gray with lines of orange.  "We need to tell Celestia that.. thats the thing making twilight stupid! God that is just disgusting.. ill be right back, Im gonna puke." Rainbow dash Scurried off to a nearby bush, and released a storm off unpleasant green and yellow vomit. As Rainbow lifted her head up, she noticed a snobby mare trotting over to rainbow and her friends.

"Darling, why.. why is your face covered in green paste?" Rarity explained in a disgusted face.

"Oh, um Rarity. Its not exactly paste. Go over to Twilight and look at her face, you will understand why I'm covered in this."

She slowely walked down towards her other friends, while pinkie pie launched into Rarity's face.

"HIYA!"

"Oh pinkie pie, why is a carrot up your nose? I Thought my lessons in how to improve your manners and 'how to be lady like' was helping you. And it all goes to waste when you act like that, such a shame." Rarity was disapointed with pinkie, as she was hoping her lessons improved her maturity.

"No, Rarity! I'm just copying Twilight here, her nose accessory is to die for! Its just so hip so I got one but later I am probably going to paint it pink but I want it like hers where it moves."

"What in the name of.." Rarity saw Twilights face, and froze in spot. She started shaking madly, not knowing what to do. Even though she tried as much as she could, she could not remain calm. She screamed as loudly as a roar of a Ursa Major, sure to shatter nearby shop stores glass, if they had any products that were made of them. "KILL IT, BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!" She sprinted away back to her boutique, locking the door hiding from the hideous creature that rested up twilights nose.

"Twilight, lets go to Celestia and see if we can remove that.. thing.. and make so your smart again", Rainbow confidently stated.