A Not So Happy Un

by Sergeant Snuggles

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Dark, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1254

This is made as a parody of the recent involvement of Kim Jong Un and Sony's "The Interview."

I decided to make this parody fimfic because of the recent news with Sony and North Korea hacking.

This parody is about Kim Jong Un fighting against the Mane 6, but the story also goes in between time slots such as Earth and then his arrival to Equestria.

Rated M for dark humor, extreme racism, tons of swearing and ultra-violence.
Read at your own risk.

I run this at risk of being assassinated so please show me your love.

Published 2014-12-20 04:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-20 04:40:03 UTC

Chapter 1 - Fuck You Katy Perry

As Twilight Sparkle was fixing her bookshelf, after Spike had broken it in a fit of anger, she heard a deep rumbling in the ground, she could only sense bad things would come of this.

She ran to her door, tripping over books and such, she opened it to find nothing.
"Now that's strange." she said.
Then suddenly something caught her eye that was about a mile away, she spotted a tank and a chubby Chinese fat kid driving it.
"Oh no... It's Un."

She ran upstairs of her home, she raced to the phone and started a group call with the rest of the Mane 6.
"Everypony! We have to fucking stop him!" Twilight yelled into the speaker.
"Who do we need to stop having sex with?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Un! Un is here!" Twilight yelled.
"Well git yer guns then, we gotta kill dis bitch." Applejack said.
Twilight hung up the phone and raced to her bed, reaching under her bed, she obtained her AK-47 assault rifle.

She then quickly ran downstairs to find Un in the house, "Hiya." he said and pulled out a pistol.
She fired upon him, missing all of her 22 bullets in her clip.
Un ran out of the house and jumped into his tank, firing at the library.
Twilight escaped using a grate in the floor, yet the library was no more.

As Twilight crawled through the underground tunnel that was connected to all of the Mane 6 houses, she thought about how she could defeat Un.
She then remembered about his weakness, blowing him up with a missile and his head exploding while him listening to Katy Perry.
"Piece of cake." she said to nopony in particular.
As she crawled through the tunnel, she felt as if Un was there but his chubby ass wouldn't be able to fit so she was fine.

"Okay, so here is the plan" Twilight said as the Mane 6 were all in Applejack's armoury.
"We have to make Un listen to Katy Perry and then shoot a missile at him, got that?" Twilight said.
"Yea sher, but ah only got wahn missile." Applejack said.
"Make it count." Rainbow said as she put on sunglasses.
They all put brohoof'ed.

As the Mane 6 entered Un territory, they noticed Un's tank.
They all gulped, the tank fired.
It was as if it was The Matrix, the large tank missile was hurdling toward them yet they dodged with ease.
Suddenly Pinkie Pie pulled out a minigun from behind her and started firing at the tank, Applejack was running close and trying to use her sawn off, Rainbow was attacking from the air with a sniper rifle, Twilight was using her AK-47, Fluttershy was making her animals try and kill the tank and Rarity was... Making nazi uniforms!?

Twilight noticed and started shooting at Rarity yet she teleported away, "Damn nazis" Twilight said sighing.
Twilight then got back into the rhythm and started shooting at Un's tank when suddenly she felt the feeling of cold steel enter he side, she turned around and saw Un there grinning menacingly.
She was too scared to shout, he then pulled out his pistol and the last thing Twilight saw was the chamber of a pistol being pulled.

Rainbow noticed the whole thing, she threw her sniper rifle to the ground and took out the rocket launcher from behind her.
She aimed it at Un and yelled "Fuck you Un AND fuck Katy Perry too!"
She fired.

Author's Note

Hi there, this is my first chapter and there are two more waiting for you to click next.

Since I am at risk of being assassinated, how about showing some support and adding to your favourites?

Chapter 2 - Not An Interview

"This movie is rascist!" Un said.
"This company 'Pony' is going to kill me off in their new movie 'Not An Interview'" he said.
"They even made some comedic people be in it, such as Meth Turban and Lame Danko." he said.
"Those asshole people!" he yelled.
"Wait a minute..." he said.
"I shall get my finest hackers to hack this company and leak information about 'Splinterman' rights and their company 'Moovil'" he said.
"I shall then leak information about some actor who wants a discounted Pony tv." he said.
"But first..." he said.
"I shall go onto fimfiction.net which is my favourite site to check on the finest My Little Pony fanfiction." he said.

"Ok... This author seems really gangsta." he said.
"Sergeant Snuggles... I'm gonna have to give him a follow and read all his fanfiction." he said.
"Wait a minute..." he said.
"This Sergeant Snuggles has made a fool out of me!" he yelled.
"He has made me kill Twilight Sparkle in A Not So Happy Un!" he yelled.
"She was my favourite character!" he yelled.
"I shall get my hackers to upload his browser history to the internet!" he yelled.
"And then make him be assassinated!" he yelled.

"Oh look..." he said.
"There is a pop up ad here that says 'Look like Chris Pratt in 5 seconds using this trick'" he said.
"I am definitely clicking that." he said.

Suddenly Un was transported into Equestria.

Author's Note

This is the second chapter, there is a third but all it is, is some funny deleted scenes.
Word of Warning: The deleted scenes are more mature than the first two chapters.

So how did y'all like this chapter?

Chapter 3 - Deleted Scenes

A series of scenes that I was going to use but decided not to as most were too racist for fimfiction.

"What the fuck is 4chan?" Un asked his general.
"It is an elite hacking website, I suggest you use it." said the general, obviously trolling.
"Okay, I clicked on the..." Un said.
"Oh my fucking god..." Un said.
"Pony porn!? What the fuck is this!?" Un yelled angrily.

"What the fuck is this 2 girls, 1 cup?" Un asked his general.
"It is an elite site filled with awesome things, it is lke fimficton.net 2.0." said the general, obviously trolling.
"Okay... I don't understand why you are filming me." Un said.
"Oh look lesbians." Un said.
"Wait... Oh fuck! Why!?" Un yelled angrily.

Pinkie Pie threw Gummy at Un's crotchal region, in an instant there was a shriek as Gummy had latched his jaws around Un's penis.
"Get this fucking crocodile off me!" he yelled.

"Sir Un." said the general.
"Yes?" Un asked.
"We believe people are comparing you to Hitler." said the general.
"Those damn jews!" Un yelled.
"This is why they compare you to Hitler." said the general.

"General, I have built a time machine." Un said to the general.
"Where will you go?" asked the general.
"I will go to 1940 so I can help Hitler win the war." Un said.
"But wouldn't that destroy time and the universe all together?" asked the general.
"Fuck off." Un said.

The general walked into Un's bunker and saw what he least expected, Un was fapping to a picture of Shrek.
Un turned around and said "It's all ogre now."

Author's Note

And that's a wrap.
I had fun writing this chapter, not everyday you write a parody on Kim Jong Un.

So as I have said before, I am at risk of being assassinated.
How about some love? or at the very least some constructive criticism?