The Tempest's Maw

“Every night, Engel, and the rest of her squadron congregated at a local café, where they exchanged stories, soaked themselves in drink, and tried to forget about their desperate war against the griffins and ponies under masks of joy. Engel, according to the café owner’s kill count, held the record. But all of the ponies and griffins that died by her talons visibly upset her. With every passing night as Engel left the café, she lamented those lost in combat and even prayed for forgiveness for what she had done.

“‘War’s a vicious cycle, Ribbon: it never ends.’ she once told me, ‘You hurt somepony, and somepony’s gonna hurt you back because your hurt their friend. And then that friend gets hurt by your friends. It’s a cycle, kid- it’s only a matter of time before I’m the one who gets hurt. And I just hope whoever ‘hurts’ me is strong enough to stop this war.’

“Every time I saw her fly off on sortie I noticed a glint of determination in her eyes. At every skirmish she searched the skies for such a worthy opponent. When she returned later that night, her eyes seemed alight with sorrow and despair when she could not find a worthy adversary.

“Her eyes blazed with sorrow for weeks.

“During that period of time, she had downed twenty-one combatants. Every time she explained her sadness, Engel would tell me that she would ‘rather die with brevity from the hooves of a pony with the same resolve as she had than live out her days under false accolades.’ She said it as if she read it line by line from a tragedy.

“One night, two of the ten members of Winterhof squadron did not come to the café. She did not speak to me. I asked a squadron member what had happened to Himmel and Rot, the two missing members, but the squadron member tried to hide the truth because of my tender age.

“‘Himmel’s just… helping Rot. Rot got hurt, y’see. Got hurt real bad.’ He said. But I knew that Rot died and Himmel went to drown his sorrows elsewhere; Himmel had a tendency to isolate himself whenever something hurt his pride.

“I didn’t see Himmel at the café for quite some time after that.

As we left the library, Rainbow Dash invited everyone to a café called "Sugarcube Corner." She told us that her friend was an apprentice baker, and that we all needed something to cheer us up. The ponies without any injuries blindly followed Rainbow Dash, while the injured were escorted to the Ponyville hospital by Twilight Sparkle.

We dragged ourselves to the pastel-colored shop. Sugarcube Corner was empty, except for a pink-haired earth pony that blended in with the pink paint of the café walls. She instantly sprung from behind the counter to greet Rainbow Dash.

"Are all these pegasuseses your friend, Dash? That's so wonderful! I mean business is soooo slow today for some reason and I seriously need to get rid of these lemon bars I made earlier!" The earth pony said in a storm of quickly-spoken words.

"I guess you could say that, Pinkie Pie." Rainbow Dash chuckled. “’Ya mind if we can stay here for a bit?”

She shook hooves with all of us, and brought us into the lonely café. Before we knew it, the remaining six Comets and all four Tempests were seated and had a large lemon bar on a small plate next to a steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of them. I was seated alone, in a small table secluded from the others. The earth pony asked if I was alright sitting alone, to which I told her that I needed some time alone. Alone, I nibbled at the corners of the oversized lemon bar drooping over the plate.

Faint echoes of chatter erupted from the pegusai as they began to eat. I even heard a chuckle escape a pony's lips. But that all disappeared when somepony entered Sugarcube Corner.

It was a griffin.

Silence replaced the light-hearted atmosphere. Everypony -myself included, glared at the griffin. I had an urge to leap from my seat and strike the griffin without any provocation. Such a feeling was strange; it's not in an Equestrian's nature to act so coldly or so violent to anypony.

The griffin had this lax, half-awake gaze. The tips of his wings were dark-red in color, and a small patch of yellow was on his folded wings. He lazily scratched the back of his head with his large, yellow talons as he saw the earth pony bound towards him. He wore a brown bomber’s jacket, so it was probably a member of a friendly griffin squadron.

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!" The pink earth pony said, merrily jumping across the room to meet the griffin. "Oooh! A griffin! I haven't seen a griffin in such a long time! Have you met somegriffin named Gilda? She's a friend of Rainbow Dash and she’s a griffin, too!"

"I-"

"Oh look, I guess I got sidetracked again! I bet you're here 'cause you're hungry, aren't 'ya?"

"No, I-I just-"

"No need to look so spooked, friend! I'll find you a seat right away!"

She dragged the griffin to the table where I was seated. The griffin had this look of sheer surprise on his face. The earth pony disappeared, then suddenly reappeared with a lemon bar and a cup of hot chocolate in her hooves and placed it on the table. The griffin began to laugh. I smiled slightly as I continued nibbling on my lemon bar.

"I just wanted a glass of cider, and I get a meal." the griffin sighed. "where I live, mothers would kill for something like this."

"Why's that?" I grumbled blankly, trying to avoid eye contact.

He leaned forward and used one of his talons to obscure his beak from the rest of the pegasi, who seemed to have returned to their conversations, but their heads were leaning towards my table.

"We're fighting a war in Gryphus. But don't tell anypony; I'd rather not see another Pegasus squadron destroy our base."

"That's odd." I said, looking up. "What’s happening in Gryphus?"

"It's a revolution to overthrow Lord Möbius. He’s settin’ our prosperity back by refusing to expand. Here's the thing: If he won't expand our nation, then we'll just burn Gryphus to the ground, start over, and spread our uninhibited prowess to the ends of the earth ourselves. Without Lord Möbius, of course."

I shot him with a glare of disbelief.

"You're one of them, aren't you? You're one of those… Lumi-"

"Lumisians? I'm surprised you know about us." The griffin said, letting out a smirk.

I pointed to my injured wing. I asked him if he knew the griffin that shot me down a week ago. I told him everything that happened that day. My name, the color of my flight suit, even the formation we flew in. His twisted smile grew with every detail I gave.

"Our squadron mistook you for griffins.'" The griffin said. "Some blockhead in mission command misplaced some zeroes here and there and I nearly killed you. So I’m sorry."

"You?!" I exclaimed. I tried to keep my voice low; I think I attracted the attention of several pegasi.

He let out a sigh of exasperation, sat upright in his chair, and saluted. "Flight Lieutenant Fritz Granz, of the Lumisian Aero Force First Division, 27th Winterhof Skyfighter Command Squadron. But call me 'Himmel.' My mission that day was to intercept a flight of bombers headed for Stummer Fortress, but instead the nation of Equestria points their weapons at us because I downed a veteran. Does that answer all of your questions?"

"Why tell me all of this, Fritz? I'm supposed to be your enemy."

"Himmel." He corrected, sliding back into a relaxed position. "If Lumisade's going up in flames because of my mistake, then I at least want to die knowing that this jumble of misunderstandings has been straightened out."

He begun to chuckle again, drinking his cup of hot chocolate in a single gulp. With a quick wipe of his talons on his yellow beak, he stood up. He placed several bits on the table and rose from his seat. As he left, he said something under his breath.

"I'll be seeing you, friend. Do me a favor and take care of that wing."

The moment Himmel left Sugarcube Corner, the pegasui erupted in chatter. Some of the Comets began to flock to me, and asked to reveal my conversation with Himmel. I didn't want to tell them about Himmel's affiliation to Lumisade, but they wouldn't listen to my pleads when I asked them to leave me alone. So I paid for my half-eaten meal and left.

Princess Luna had already graced the sky with her powers when I headed to Fluttershy's house. It was rather calming. Looking up into the dark veil of the night bejeweled with far-off stars helped soothe my racing mind.

"Soarin'." Somepony said.

It was Spitfire. A troubled look was on her face.

"Out for a walk? Mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead. I just need some air."

We walked for several moments. Neither of us talked. I glanced at her, hoping that she would glance back at me. Her eyes bore this gaze of immeasurable fury, so I looked away.

"It's crazy how I still remember my old bombing techniques, eh Spitfire?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

No answer.

"Do you know why Princess Celestia would send us Wonderbolts to do a mission? I mean, the only reason why we're part of the military is because of our old ties before our recruitment, right?"

Still no answer.

She suddenly stopped. She turned her entire body towards me, her orange eyes ablaze with anger.

"What were you thinking?!" She yelled. "About that stunt you pulled earlier, and about how you tricked me into believing that you were dead? What in Celestia's name was running through your head?"

"I-"

"And don't even think of throwing another excuse at me!"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't look at her either. My heart felt as though Spitfire had wrung it like a towel drenched in water.

"I-I didn't… I didn't want you to-uh-." I stammered after a minute of silence.

She slammed her hooves at the ground. "Out with it!" She bellowed.

"Nopony survives a shot like that." I growled.

She stepped back. That flare of anger that radiated within her eyes suddenly went out.

"You said it yourself." I said, my voice sounding more spiteful with every word. "'Nopony survives a shot like that.' I wanted to prove you wrong. I wanted to show you that I could still live even if a shot like that tore off my wings. So I wound up here so I could heal. I wanted to write to you, but I thought that I could surprise you by appearing to you in perfect condition."

She gazed at me with eyes of disbelief and anger.

"I swear it to the moon above us, Spitfire. Please, believe me."

"But the trail of blood I followed; that trail suddenly stopped. I thought you were eaten by some manticore!" Spitfire said.

"Fluttershy saved me. I owe her my life, and I have to repay her by staying here and healing my wing." I began to laugh. In a joking manner I said, "she's keeping me prisoner, Spitfire. I thought I asked her to write to you today, but I suppose she forgot."

I had to tell her that lie. I still clung helplessly to the shards of my shattered pride. And I didn’t want her to worry about me. But she half-believed me and gave me a wry laugh. I couldn't argue. Nopony would trust me after what I did to keep what pride I had left.

There was another silence between us.

"You still take all of those Wonderbolt tenants to a grain of salt, eh Soarin'?" She said with a fake smile. "Just remember to think things through once in a while, alright? It'll help you one day."

I told her that I wouldn't do anything rash as long as she's my captain.

"You always say that." She muttered under her breath as she parted ways.

I returned to Fluttershy's house. The letter was still on her table, unperturbed since I had left it there. I trotted quietly through the house so as not to disturb the sleeping animals. But when I reached the stairs, Fluttershy appeared before me. We gazed at each other in silence, but this time Fluttershy had a look of contempt mixed with her motherly worry. Her piercing eyes became imprinted into my own. I felt her gaze groping the inside of my head, sifting through my thoughts for an explanation.

"Your wing." Fluttershy commented with a slight tone of surprise. "Is it healed?"

I could not speak. It felt like I was talking to another Spitfire. I tried to answer her, but no words flowed through my mouth when I opened it, for I feared that my words would betray her. I wanted to tell her the truth - how I participated in the slaughtering of griffins, how I recklessly flew with my broken wing just to make myself believe that I still had some sort of value when the very wings I relied upon became a debilitating crutch.

I tried to formulate another lie, but my mouth leaked the truth when I spoke. I told her everything: about my heedless attempt at flying, the screams I heard through the burning rooms in Stummer Fortress, and Himmel.

Her eyes showed fear. Pure terror. She looked at me as if I was some sort of monster. And I was. Who would think that I was still Soarin'? Because I was no longer Soarin'; I was just another blade for Death. I was no longer covered in my own blood or covered in my own weakness. Innocent blood stained my coat, and there is no way to wash away the blood from a life killed by your own hooves.

Fluttershy put my wings in another bandage and put me in bed. She didn't talk to me, nor did she even look at my face. Her eyes averted even my hooves.

I couldn't sleep that night. I could hear screams inside my head. I tossed and turned in the darkness. The stars and moon shrouded the room in a dark-blue curtain. But I could see red. I could see the embers stained a crimson hue. Fiery talons sprung from the fires, flailing helplessly in an attempt to escape the clutches of Hades.

You're not alive. You're dead. You can't hurt me.

The screams grew louder. The bloody ambers began to surrounded the edges of my vision, the otherworldly spirits trying to drag me into Tartarus where I belong. The fire spread and several griffins emerged from the fires. My breathing fell short and my hooves clawed at the mattress, as I felt their pitchfork-like talons tear through my flesh and grip at the spaces between my bones as they dragged me into Hades where I belonged.

You're not alive! You're dead! You can't hurt me!

"You're not alive! You're dead! You can't hurt me!" I screamed.

I scrambled out of bed and lit a nearby lantern. I frantically searched my body for wounds, and found none. I let a loud of sigh of relief and then a chuckle, trying to laugh at my nightmare. But the laughs transformed into sobs. I've never cried so loudly before, even when I was a child. I commanded the demons to get away from me as I saw their grasping hands slowly disintegrate as they clawed at the light of the lantern.

They disappeared when the door flew open. Fluttershy ran towards me and tried to comfort me.

"I-I can see-see them! They're-they're gonna drag me straight into Tartarus!" I said, pointing my hoof at the afterimages the blazing shadows left behind. I could still see their faces and I could still hear their beckoning cries.

"They won't." Fluttershy said in a soothing, calm tone. "They can't hurt you."

I stopped crying, but tears still ran down my face. I could only think of how helpless I was. A stallion like me reverting back to a child frightened by the mere movement of a curtain. There was no more pride to carry in my wings, no more pride to hang over my head, no more pride to make myself look like the stallion in the posters.

And yet, the Element of Kindness still watched over me. Even after my actions she appeared to guard my tainted soul. She was silent the entire time I lay there, helpless and pickled in my repulsive tears.

My drenched eyelids could no longer support themselves. As they closed, I felt her warmth disappear and leave the room.

Fluttershy and I did not talk after that night. For the next two days, our communication reduced to nods and gestures. I was again a stranger to her. I could not speak her language, as my mind was in shambles after I threw away the last fragments of pride. I threw all of my ailments at her in hopes that she would cure them, and she did. In awe, I formulated a way to thank her, but I could think of no such way to repay her. Showing her that I could fly with my once injured wing would not suffice.

The third day came.

My heart raced at the mere thought of going to the library again, yet my heart knew the consequences of straying from one's duty. I had to fight those griffins again. I had to burn down another fortress. I had to hear those cries of fear again. I had to choose between being a bloodstained murderer undeserving of the care of a hero, or be a worthless soldier in the middle of a battlefield.

I woke up early and snuck out of Fluttershy's house.

The sun was beginning to exchange places with the moon by the time I reached the library. I feebly knocked on the door, hoping that the resident librarian would allow me to stay until the meeting. To my surprise, Twilight Sparkle answered the door.

"Soarin'." she grumbled as she combed her hair. "What're you doing here so early?"

"There's a lot to explain." I said.

She stepped back and opened the door all the way. She gave a comforting smile and asked me to join her for breakfast. I told her what I saw in my dream and why I had to leave for the library so early. It took a while to explain, but she was more than happy to listen; Twilight told me that she liked long stories.

"I don't blame you for having nightmares; nopony can kill and not experience feelings of guilt. But Fluttershy is right: I mean no offense when I say this, but you have neither the mental strength nor the physical ability to keep fighting right now. If I were you, Soarin', I'd opt out." Twilight told me. She looked sincere, as if she had suffered the same injuries as I.

"Don't you think I see that?" I snapped. "When I was in that balloon the other day, I felt so weak and useless looking at my friends fighting for their lives from afar. I couldn't stand the thought of my friends dying while I sat back and did nothing."

"Rainbow Dash is my friend, too." She defended in a calm, but lecturing tone. "I was just as frightened as you were, and I couldn't do anything about it, too. I was stuck there with Comet 4. My magic was unable to heal his wounds and I felt so useless because my magic didn't work."

We were quiet for a moment. I did not realize that another pony experienced the same feeling of uselessness as I. Our shared feelings made it easier to talk to her.

"When I broke my wing, becoming useless was my greatest fear. I just thought that if I could help in the slightest bit, I wouldn't seem so useless." I explained.

"Cheer up." she said, "just give it a couple more days - a week at the most. Then you can fly."

"But that's what I'm afraid of. What if the war drags on for that long? More and more pegusai like that Comet will end up hurt, or worse. I just want all of this to end as quickly as possible."

“And so do I, Soarin.’”