ReviewTechEquestria
This fanfiction was brought to you in part by Dollar shave club.
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The clock struck 1 am in the morning as Richard Masucci came home from a long night at the club. His time there could be simply summed up as… interesting. About fifty women pounced on him trying to get at his voluptuous nipples.
He sat down on his couch, and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. It was extremely late at night, but for some reason he wasn’t tired.
“Oh well then, I just play some video games.” He said, getting up off the couch.
Rich walked over to where his playstation 4 was only to realize that it was missing.
“Dammit.” Rich sighed. “Sexe Coco took my PS4 again.”
He looked around for something else he could play. First he tried his PC, but he knew that he would be distracted by steam sales, and end up spending two hundred dollars, so he decided not to.
“Curse you Gaben, and your sexy ass sales.” Rich sadly muttered to himself.
Second he tried his Wii U, but then he remembered that he sat on the gamepad the other day, utterly crushing it. He would have to get a new one.
Lastly, there was his Xbox One.
“I could probably play that.” Rich said as he turned on the console.
He could hear a ding signaling that the console was on, and before he knew it he was face to face with the Xbox home screen. His recent game list came up as it always does, but strangely though, it had a game he never expected on it.
“My Little Pony The Video Game? What in the ass titties.” He cursed while scratching his glorious bald head.”
It must of been his girlfriends daughters who bought it.
Suddenly though, he got an idea.
“I bet it would be so hilarious if had gameplay of this for my next video.”
A smile grew on his sexy face, as he plugged in his capture card to record the Xbox One. Once his did that, he sat down on the couch, grabbed his Xbox One controller, and started up the game. The title screen came, and a soft sweet melody started to play over it. And then all of a sudden, the game froze.
“Dammit, this is in worse condition than the Master Chief Collection!” Rich exclaimed.
He facepalmed, and layed back into his couch. “Is any video game working these days?”
Out of the blue, a giant bolt of electricity shot out of the tv, and hit Rich. “AHHHHHHHHH” He screamed.
His world went black as he passed out from the electricity.
______________________________________________________________
Rich groaned to himself as he woke up. Whatever he was on, it was nice and soft. His eyes opened, and he noticed that he was in a bed.
“Dammit, did one of those girls from the club drag me hear.” Rich groaned.
Then, he noticed something else, something even more shocking.
“Why the fuck is everything a cartoon!” He shouted.
His ears twitched as he heard something outside. A quiet voice saying. “I think it has woken up.”
Then he heard another voice. “What are you waiting for, go in there!”
The door to the room opened up, revealing a lavender coloured pony with a horn.
“What the fuck.” He said under his breath.
“Greetings creature, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”
“Umm okay……” He replied.
“What is your name creature?” The purple pony, who was apparently called Twilight asked.
“First off, I am a human.” Rich said. “Secondly, my name if Rich.”
The pony’s eyes lit up. “Wow, that’s amazing, a new species here. Do you know how big of a discovery this is!”
“No, but I am big though, I’ll give you that.”
She started hopping up and down with joy, excited that she discovered a new race of beings.
“Ok, calm your ass cheeks, I’m not that big of a deal.”
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. “Oops, I’m so sorry, I get excited easily.”
“It’s alright.” Rich replied while raising his hand. The situation baffled him, was he really talking to a cartoon horse, and more importantly why was he talking to a cartoon horse!
“The Princesses, are going to be so happy to hear about you.”
“The Princesses”? Rich asked.
“Yes, they’re goddesses of this world.”
“Well where I come from, we only have one god, and his name is Gabe Newell.”
Rich got out of the bed, and stretched his big fat hairy arms. Then, his stomach started to growl. Twilight giggled at this. “Lets get you something to eat.”
_______________________________________________________________
Before rich stood a giant stack of delicious looking pancakes. His mouth watered, and he was almost in full on erection mode from it. They just looked so soft, and fluffy. He couldn’t wait, he had to eat them.
He reached for a butter knife, and fork, but couldn’t pick them up. He tried again to no avail. Then a third time, failed once again. Then he gave up. “Stupid sausage fingers.” He said.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Twilight said. “Let me help you with that.” All of a sudden, her horn lit up with a purple glow, and so did the knife and fork. The eating utensils lifted up into the air, and cut up the pancake, and shoved a piece of it into his mouth. It was good, but he felt like an idiot.
He swallowed the piece, and said. “God, this is stupider than when sony upped the PS4 price in Canada.”
Suddenly he heard a loud booming voice say. “OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!”
Rich’s eyes widened in shock, he knew that voice. Immediately after, the window next to him was busted down, and in came the man he wished he would never have to see again, Sexe Coco.
“Boy you bustin on mah playstation quadruple again.” Insulted Sexe.
Twilight spoke up. “Hello, I am Twilight sparkle, and who may you be?”
“I’m Sexe Coco man, the most realest most delicious commentarterest on the youtubes, ya feel me dawg.”
“Are you friends with Rich?”
“Na na na babe, Mr. Review Tech titan nipples over there, he been sucking at Phil Spencers for too long man.”
Rich sighed and double face palmed. First he ends up in a cartoon world, and now he’s stuck there with Sexe Coco. “This is not going to be fun.”
