Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus

by VitalSpark

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1281

Flash fiction story of how Derpy got her cutie mark, providing an unusual explanation for her facial expression.

-OR-
How Derpy Got her Cutie Mark and Learned to Love the Bubbles

My alternative headcanon for Derpy - perhaps she's not "a few sandwiches short of a picnic" like we all thought! There's not much actual fear in the story. And no loathing at all. Misleading title — sorry.

WARNING: Muffins!

This was written as flash fiction. Flash fiction is traditionally under 1000 words, but this site places a 1000 word minimum length on stories, so I've also included an epilogue, which fills out Derpy's story even more. (The epilogue can be seen as an optional extra - each chapter can be read as standalone story.)

The cover image uses this picture of filly Derpy and this muffin. Much thanks to all those people who create such beautiful pony art and give others the freedom to remix it. You are gems!

Published 2014-12-19 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-19 01:40:01 UTC

Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus

The grey pegasus filly sat in the hallway, concentrating on the tasks she'd been given.

"I'm just popping upstairs to tidy your sister's room darling," her mother had said, "do you think you could watch the muffins in the oven to check they don't burn?"

"Sure, mum," the young pony had replied.

"Right, it's about time I went and sorted out the garden," her father had announced, "the wisps are getting out of hand out there. Next door has such a nice flat piece of cloud, it makes our lawn look like an embarrassment. Would you keep an eye on your sister? She's playing in the living room."

"Of course, dad," the little pegasus had promised.

Two such responsible jobs. Derpy hadn't wanted to let mum and dad down. So she had sat in the hallway, the door to the living room on her left, and the door to the kitchen on her right.

She had turned to look at the oven. The muffins had been visible through the glass window in the front. They had looked like they were going to be delicious.

A crash had come from behind her, and Derpy had whipped her head around. It had been OK, the tower of wooden bricks her sister Ditzy was building had fallen over. No harm had been done, but it had worried her. She couldn't take her eyes off such a little foal for a minute!

But what about the muffins? Derpy loved muffins. She didn't want them to burn. "Oh what to do; what to do?!" thought Derpy Hooves.

And so the grey pegasus filly sat in the hallway, concentrating on the tasks she'd been given.

As she concentrated, something started to happen. Something really remarkable started to happen. Derpy's eyes started to drift apart. Her left eye focussed on her sweet little sister, playing happily in the living room. Her right eye focussed on the delicious looking muffins baking in the oven. In her mind, she could see both images, but it was like they were overlaid.

But still she sat and concentrated.

Derpy felt a bubbling sensation in her brain, and in an instant the two images separated in her mind. She could see both things so clearly. Her sister playing, and the muffins cooking. She couldn't see anything straight in front of her face, but she didn't need to.

"This is amazing!" she thought, "Why have I never been able to do this before? Can everypony do it?"

She sat and looked after her two responsibilities. The muffins were looking good. "They should come out of the oven now," thought the filly.

Keeping one eye on her younger sister, she edged sideways into the kitchen. "Ouch," she said, banging a hoof on the oven. She'd seen the oven there of course, but looking at anything with one eye can make it really difficult to judge distances.

She placed an oven glove on her hoof, carefully opened the door, and removed the baking tray. Shakily, she put the tray on the kitchen table.

"Thanks, dear!" Her mother's voice came out of nowhere. She was standing right in front of Derpy, but Derpy hadn't seen her because she hadn't been looking straight forwards.

Derpy's right eye swivelled towards her mother and Derpy's mother noticed her rather unusual expression. "What's happened to your EYES?!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, I had to watch the muffins and look after Ditzy Doo," explained Derpy nonchalantly, "so I used one eye for each."

Her mother was stunned, and didn't know what to say. She walked to the door, and scooped up her foal. "Well, OK," she remarked once her powers of speech had finally returned, "let's all have some muffins."

"Fresh baked muffins are the best," thought Derpy while scoffing down her second one.

The ponies heard the front door slam shut. Derpy rotated her right eye to see who had come in. It was her father. He trotted over to the table. "Ooh, what are we eating?" he said keenly.

Before anypony could answer, he shook Derpy by the shoulders. "Wow!" he said, "you're celebrating and you didn't call me in?!"

Everypony looked confused.

"Derpy's cutie mark!" he added.

Everypony stared at Derpy's little grey flank. "Bubbles?" Derpy's mum asked, "what do you think they represent?"

Derpy knew.

Epilogue: Derpy Delivers the Mail

Since moving to Ponyville from Las Pegasus, Derpy didn't really have any friends. Her little sister Ditzy came to visit her once in a while, but it was lonely when she was on her own.

She had her job, controlling weather fronts in the Ponyville area. (It was useful to be able to keep an eye on a warm front and a cold front at the same time.) But she didn't really interact much with the other pegasi who were always busy shuffling about the clouds, a job that Derpy Hooves could never manage with her poor judgement of distances.

One day, while sitting on a bench in the town square, looking glum, a bright pink earth pony bounced up to her. "Why so sad?" asked the stranger.

"I'm not sad," said Derpy, "just a bit bored. My job only takes a few minutes each day, and I don't really have much else to do. I don't know anypony around here to hang out with."

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie," said the earth pony, "now you know me! Squee!"

"I suppose I do," replied Derpy.

"As your new best friend, can I ask you a special best friend favour?" queried Pinkie.

"I don't have anything else to do. Why not?" said Derpy.

"Can you deliver this letter for me?" asked Pinkie, stretching her neck and using her best grin. She placed an envelope in Derpy's hoof.

"Yes, I suppose so," said Derpy, her eye scanning the envelope, "who is this Sunshower Raindrops? Where do I find her?"

But when she looked up, Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen.

"Great!" thought Derpy.

Derpy walked around the town square, looking for somepony who looked like they might be called Sunshower Raindrops. "What kind of pony would a pony called Sunshower Raindrops be?" she thought to herself. This was no way to find her.

Using all of her courage, the shy grey mare approached a brown stallion with an egg timer cutie mark. "Excuse me," she asked, "do you know where I can find Sunshower Raindrops?"

"No," replied the stallion, "but from her name, she sounds like a pegasus. Try asking Blossomforth over there. She might know." He gestured across the market to a pretty grey pony with a pink and green mane.

"Thanks," said Derpy.

Blossomforth didn't know, but directed her to a cloud where a couple of other pegasi were resting. Flitter and her sister knew Sunshower, but didn't have any idea where she was. They told her that Orange Swirl was better friends with Sunshower. When Derpy found Orange Swirl, she said that she'd heard from Berryshine that she'd seen Sunshower on the way to work that morning.

After meeting half the pegasi in Ponyville, as well as plenty of earth ponies and unicorns too, Derpy finally tracked down the elusive Sunshower Raindrops and delivered the letter.

Sunshower opened the letter. It read:

This pegasus is bored. Please find her something fun to do. Love, Pinkie.

Sunshower blinked, and then smiled. "Thanks for delivering this message," she said, "Do you think I could ask you another favour?"

"Sure," said Derpy.

"I'm supposed to be helping some ponies move house. Could you lend me a hoof for a while?"

"Great!" exclaimed Derpy enthusiastically, "helping ponies do their jobs is fun!"