Chapters View Online
Fleximare and the Deranged Doctor
Wednesday, 11:50 AM: The Skies Above Ponyville
"Blossomforth!!!"
"Uh oh..." Blossomforth gulped as Rainbow Dash's voice echoed across the sky. She had heard that tone of voice from Rainbow before, and given the number of clouds in front of her that were not yet arranged properly in the sky, she had a feeling she knew what the problem was.
"What's taking you so long?" Rainbow raged as she flew over to Blossomforth. "Those clouds were supposed to be in place forty-five minutes ago, and yet you've still got over half of them to go! My pet turtle could have put those in place faster than you!"
"I'm really sorry, Rainbow," Blossomforth replied. "I'm going as fast as I can, but..." She held up one of her front hooves, which was badly bruised and had swollen to twice its usual size. "This thing's making it really hard to push clouds around."
"That's what slowing you down?" Rainbow frowned at Blossomforth's sore hoof. "That's barely a scratch! I've had paper cuts worse than that!" She swatted the hoof away, causing Blossomforth's eyes to bulge out from the pain. "Now hurry up and get those clouds arranged, or I'll stick you on lightning rod duty with Ditzy Doo!"
"Yes, ma'am." Blossomforth bowed her head deferentially until Rainbow's back was turned, and then stuck her tongue out at the cranky pegasus. "Jerk."
As Rainbow Dash flew away, Raindrops swooped in. "I see Dashie's in her usual pleasant mood today, huh?" she said.
"Uh-huh." Blossomforth grabbed another cloud from her pile and began dragging it slowly to its proper place in the sky, wincing at the pain in her hoof.
"Here, let me help you with that." Raindrops began pushing the cloud from the other side. "Gosh, Blossom, that hoof looks awful. What happened?"
Blossomforth sighed. "Just a good run of bad luck, I guess."
"I'll say. Last week it was your wing, and the week before that you could barely walk on your back hooves." Raindrops helped Blossomforth ease the cloud into position. "Hey, a few of us are going into town for lunch today. Do you want to come?" She nudged Blossomforth with her knee and smiled. "Thunderlane will be there."
"I can't." Blossomforth replied apologetically. "Rainbow will pluck me like a chicken if I don't get these clouds in place soon."
"Aw, that's too bad. Maybe tomorrow then?"
"Maybe. Thanks for the offer." Blossomforth sighed as Raindrops flew away, then turned and flew back to her cloud pile. "Could this day get away worse?" she muttered.
"Pssst! " One of Blossomforth's clouds suddenly hissed as her, and a hoof emerged and gestured for her to come closer.
"Oh, great. Just what I needed," Blossomforth said as she flew over to the inviting cloud.
"Greetings, Miss Forth." A purple stallion with a close-crop haircut and dark shades popped his head out of the cloud. "I trust you're doing well."
"Yeah, just peachy." Blossomforth cocked her head to the side and stared at the stallion quizzically. "How are you staying in that cloud? Aren't you an earth pony?"
"That information is classified." The stallion stuck his head back into the cloud and pulled out an envelope marked 'TOP SECRET.' "I have here the instructions for your next mission."
"Already?" Blossomforth held up her swollen hoof. "But I haven't recovered from the last mission!"
"I'm afraid this is urgent. The letter will explain everything."
Blossomforth sighed and pulled out the letter.
Fleximare,
Four days ago, a young unicorn named Peppermint mysteriously vanished while vacationing in the Griffon Empire. Our sources have just learned that Miss Mint was abducted by Dr. Audubon, a rogue scientist booted from the academic community for his beliefs regarding griffon supremacy. We do not know what the good doctor plans to do with his captive, but given his background, we must assume the worst.
We believe that Dr. Audubon operates a secret base within the wastelands of the northern Griffon Empire. Your mission is to infiltrate this hideout, rescue Miss Mint, and thwart whatever evil plans the doctor may be concocting.
We're counting on you, Fleximare. A pony's life may be hanging in the balance.
P.S. This letter is wired to self-destruct after being removed from its envelope.
"Yikes!" Blossomforth shrieked as she read the last line, and started looking around frantically for a place to dump the envelope. "Why do you always do this to me?" she hissed at the stallion.
"Don't worry. The explosives in there aren't armed this time," the stallion assured Blossomforth. "The envelope also has a map showing the location of Dr. Audubon's hideout in the northern griffon wastelands, and tickets for the five o'clock train to Baltimare. There'll be a boat waiting for you to take you to the Griffon Empire."
"Gee, you guys though of everything," Blossomforth muttered.
"That reminds me." The stallion reached back into the cloud and pulled out a pink eye mask. "You mentioned you had to use your old mask as a bandage for your hoof, so we made you a replacement." He gave the mask to Blossomforth, then glanced around quickly and sunk back into the cloud. "Remember, I was never here," he said. "Good luck, Miss Forth."
Blossomforth sighed as she looked down at the mask. "Sore hoof or not," she said, "I guess Fleximare flies again tonight."
Fleximare and the Deranged Doctor
Wednesday, 10:30 PM: The Griffon Wastelands
Blossomforth shivered as she huddled behind a large boulder in the middle of a snow-covered plain. While she had grown to appreciate the snows and cold of winter back in Ponyville, she preferred to appreciate them while indoors and holding a hot cup of cocoa, and the howling winds and sub-zero temperatures of the griffon lands were far nastier than any weather she had encountered back home. She looked down and frowned at her outfit, an emerald-green form-fitting jumpsuit with a pink fanny pack, and wished that the designers back at headquarters had made the costume a bit more insulated instead of airy and breathable.
"Okay," she said to herself. "You can do this. Just find the hideout, save the pony, kick some flank, and make a mad dash for the nearest tropical island."
Blossomforth reached into her pack, pulled out a set of binoculars, and leaped into the air to continue her trek towards Dr. Audubon's hideout. The strong crosswinds immediately started wreaking havoc on her flight path, and she found herself focusing more on staying aloft than scanning the ground. "Whoa!" she screamed as she was nearly blown headfirst into a pine tree.
Why oh why did I ever agree to this superhero shtick? she asked herself as she flew. I could be home watering my daffodils right now, or having cloud fights with Raindrops, or tying Thunderbutt's tail to a tree branch, or doing ANYTHING other than fighting through a blizzard for the privilege of facing an evil genius and his army of henchgriffons singlehoofedly. She swerved to avoid running into another large tree. "Being Fleximare is totally not worth seven hundred extra bits a month," she grumbled.
The sight of a large building sitting by itself in the middle of the tundra brought Blossomforth back to her senses, and she made a beeline for the structure. As she approached, she noticed two armored, spear-wielding griffons standing guard by the building entrance, and decided to find a place to take cover and prepare her grand entrance. She spotted another rock sitting about thirty feet from the building, and quickly dove down behind it.
A brief scan of the area with her binoculars confirmed that the guards she saw were the only ones watching the front door. Blossomforth took another deep breath to steady her nerves, then stuck her binoculars back into her pack and pulled out her mask. "It's go time," she said as she donned the mask.
As the griffons yawned and stared blankly out into the storm, Blossomforth leaped out from behind the rock, performed a wing-aided double twist, and landed on her back hooves about fifteen feet from the guards. "All right, boys!" she shouted. "I'm Fleximare, the incredible bendable mare, and I'm here to teach you a lesson!" She motioned for the guards to approach. "Let's dance!"
One of the guards looked over at the other. "Did you hear something?"
"What?" the other guard replied. "I can't hear you! The way this darn wind is echoing in my helmet, I couldn't hear a train if it ran over my talon!"
"Um, hello?" Blossomforth waved her front hooves wildly at the guards. "Crazy costume lady over here!"
The first guard squinted through the storm at Blossomforth. "I think I see something out there."
"You need to sing about hair? What?"
"Oh, for the love of Celestia..." Blossomforth smacked her face with her hoof, and charged towards the first guard. "Here, try seeing this! " She got right in the guard's face, spun around, and bucked him right between the eyes, knocking him unconscious.
"What the..." The second griffon's jaw fell open in surprise, but before he could respond, Blossomforth cartwheeled over to him and punched his lights out with a heavy right hoof that connected right on the end of his beak.
Blossomforth stood over the guards and admired her work for a moment. "Gee, that wasn't so—yeeeeow!" Her eyes bulged out a little as she realized she had struck the sharpest part of a griffon with the sorest part of her hoof. "Son of a cumulonimbus!" she cursed, her eyes watering as she limped towards the front door. "Why do griffons have to be so pointy?"
The building turned out to be much larger than Blossomforth expected, and it counted a maze of hallways, several strategically-placed security cameras, and a plethora of griffons running around in lab coats among its obstacles. By sticking to the shadows (and ceilings), however, Blossomforth managed to make her way to the very bottom of the building without being spotted.
Waiting in the basement was a high-tech science lab, filled with industrial-grade machinery and griffons dashing around carrying clipboards. The center of attention, however, was a large metal tank covered in hazard symbols sitting in the center of the room. A scraggly-looking griffon sporting a monocle and handlebar mustache stood in front of the tank, and appeared to be lecturing to the griffons around him. "Dr. Audubon, I presume," Blossomforth whispered as she peered through one of the lab doors. "I wonder what he's up to..."
"The time is nigh, my brethren!" Dr. Audubon could be heard screeching inside the lab. "Our new super-weapon is complete, and ready to be unleashed upon the world!" He gestured towards a curtain hanging near the wall. "I give you... The Magic Eraser!"
The curtain was pulled back to reveal a griffon wearing what appeared to be a vacuum strapped to his back. As the crowd oohed and aahed, the griffon walked slowly towards Dr. Audubon while spinning around to model the weapon. "That's his secret weapon?" Blossomforth sputtered. "What, is he going to clean us all to death?"
"Observe!" Dr. Audubon grabbed the hose of the vacuum as his model approached and pressed a button on the nozzle, causing it to spray a green mist into the air. "With this simple act," he proclaimed, "we can bring an end to the era of equine dominance and decadence, and take our rightful place as rulers of the world!"
"Really? Consider me skeptical." Blossomforth rolled her eyes as the griffons cheered.
"Allow me to demonstrate the power of the Magic Eraser!" Dr. Audubon leaped into the air and flew up until he was level with the top of the tank. "Bring in the test subject!"
Two griffon guards stepped into view from behind the tank, with a tired-looking white unicorn with red- and white-streaked hair chained up between them. "Oh shoot, that's Peppermint!" Blossomforth said. "I've got to get in there before they—"
"Our friend here has already been sprayed with a double dose of the Magic Eraser," Dr. Audubon revealed.
"Gosh darn it!" Blossomforth banged her head against the lab door.
As the two griffon guards dragged Peppermint over in front of the tank, another griffon brought out a large Ming vase and set it next to the wobbly-legged pony. "Now then, madam," Dr. Audubon said, "I command you to use your magic to lift that vase off the ground."
Peppermint looked up at Dr. Audubon with bloodshot eyes, and collapsed onto the ground. "Please," she whispered, "you've had me hooked up to your machines for four days now! All I want to do right now is sleep."
"Do it, or we'll be forced to expose you to our more conventional weapons." As Dr. Audubon spoke, the guards pointed their spears in Peppermint's direction.
Peppermint gulped, and then turned her head towards the vase and tried to fire up her magic. She grunted and groaned and gnashed her teeth, but she could only get her horn to sputter and spark, and the vase didn't move.
"Behold! The pony is neutered!" Dr. Audubon cackled. "No longer will ponies be able to hide their inferiority behind their filthy magic! No longer will they be able to keep us at bay with their powers, and grow fat and happy on our spoils! With our weapon, the playing field will finally be leveled, and when it is, we griffons shall rise up and destroy those pathetic little ponies, and show the world that we are the superior species!"
"Okay, this featherbrain's a few apples short of a pie," Blossomforth said as the griffons cheered. "I think it's time to show him just how—" She was interrupted by the tapping of a hoof on her shoulder. "Huh?" she said as she turned around.
POW! The force of the blow sent Blossomforth crashing through the lab doors and tumbling through the crowd of griffons. She eventually came to rest at Peppermint's hooves, and the last thing she saw before the lights went out was the unicorn looking down at her and asking "Who are you?"
Fleximare and the Deranged Doctor
Thursday, 12:37 AM: Dr. Audubon's Hideout
"Uhhhh..." Blossomforth groaned as she opened her eyes. She found herself in some sort of storage room, surrounded by wooden crates of various sizes. More importantly, she discovered she was tied down on a conveyor belt next to the pony she was supposed to be saving. "What happened?" she demanded. "Where am I?"
"Well, my dear, you are merely in the laboratory of the greatest mind in griffondom!" Dr. Audubon cackled from a perch above the two ponies. He gestured towards a large buffalo that stood in the corner of the room. "My chief security officer saw you admiring my lab, and thought it would be best if you and I met face-to-face."
The buffalo just stared stoically at the conveyor belt, without bothering to move, blink, or even breathe.
"You know, I feel as though I should be insulted," Dr. Audubon continued. "Here I am, the greatest threat to equine rule in the history of history, and the pony princesses send a single pathetic pegasus to stop me."
"Well, Doc," Blossomforth said with a shrug, "you're not exactly Nightmare Moon."
"Harrumph!" Dr. Audubon flew over to the opposite end of the conveyor belt, where a large circular saw blade had been mounted. "Nevertheless, you picked the perfect time to drop in, Miss, uh, whatever-your-name-is."
"I'm Fleximare!" Blossomforth replied. "The incredible bendable mare!"
"Fleximare? Really?" Dr. Audubon scrunched up his face as if someone had passed a block of smelly cheese under his beak. "What sort of silly name is that?"
"Well, it was either that or 'Rubber Girl,' so—"
"Say no more." Dr. Audubon shook his head. "Regardless, I'm glad you've joined us, Fleximare. Otherwise, I would have had this super-evil death trap built for nothing." He turned to the buffalo. "Start the machine!"
"Wait!" Blossomforth shouted. "Before you kill us, you should at least have the decency to divulge your entire dastardly plan."
Dr. Audubon laughed. "You mean you haven't realized it by now?" He shook his head again. "Further proof that griffons rule and ponies drool, and that your foolish magic is the only thing standing between our kind and world domination." He swooped down and tapped on Peppermint's horn, which now had a large clamp attached to it. "And now that I have my Magic Eraser, this little advantage is no more, and there is no pony who can stand in my way."
"B-b-but you can't kill me!" Peppermint pleaded. "You were using my magic to run your machines and make your eraser stuff!"
"True," Dr. Audubon conceded, "but now that we've completed that phase of the project, the only thing we need your magic for now is to power my death trap."
"Hold on a second," Blossomforth interrupted. "You need a buffalo for your muscle and a unicorn for your power?" She gave Dr. Audubon a disapproving look. "That's not exactly a ringing endorsement for griffon superiority, if you ask me."
"What can I say? One does what one must do to conquer the world." Dr. Audubon nodded towards the buffalo, who reached up and punched a large red button on the wall.
"Aaahhh! " Peppermint screamed in agony as her horn lit up, and the saw and conveyor belt both began to move.
"As much as I'd love to stick around and watch you meet your doom," Dr. Audubon said, "Miss Fleximare's arrival has put us behind schedule, and I have an army of henchgriffons to coordinate. Ciao!"
Blossomforth stuck her tongue out at Dr. Audubon and his buffalo as they left the room, then turned her attention back to the death trap. Time to show that featherbrain that they call me Fleximare for a reason, she thought.
Blossomforth began trying to contort her body such that she could slide out from under her restraints. Being flexible and being an escape artist, however, are two different things, and after several minutes of bending, twisting, and popping limbs in and out of joint, she was still stuck tight to the conveyor belt. "Okay," she admitted, as a few drops of sweat dripped down her forehead, "this might be harder than I thought."
"Waaahhhh!" Peppermint wailed. "We're gonna die!"
"We are not going to die!" Blossomforth insisted. "I've totally got everything under control right now!" She looked up at the clamp on Peppermint's horn. "Slide your head over towards me!" she ordered. "If I can get that clip off of your horn, I can stop the machine!"
Peppermint nodded and bent her head over towards Blossomforth. "Keep going," Blossomforth said as she angled her own head to try to grab the clamp in her jaw. "Almost got it..."
Finally, Blossomforth managed to bite down on the clamp. "Yes! I got—yaaahhh!!! " she screamed as a thousand volts of unicorn power flowed through her body, making her hair stand on end and nearly blowing her eyes out of their sockets.
"Oh no!" Peppermint jerked her head back, pulling the clamp out of Blossomforth's mouth. "Are you okay?"
"Uhhhh..." Blossomforth blinked a few times to put out the fires on her pupils. "Um, of course!" she assured Peppermint in a less-than-reassuring tone of voice. "It'll take more than a little magic to stop Fleximare!"
Peppermint gulped and looked over at the fast-approaching saw. "Like 'super-scary death trap' more?"
"Er, maybe." Blossomforth continued to struggle against her restraints, but the ropes held fast, and the pony pair continued their slow crawl towards certain death.
Nice work, Fleximoron! Blossomforth cursed herself in her mind. You could be home sleeping right now, dreaming about watching the sun go down in the Daffodil Islands! But no, you thought you could moonlight as a superhero, protecting the innocent and smiting the guilty while making a little extra spending cash along the way! She turned her face away from Peppermint so that the unicorn wouldn't see the tears welling in her eyes. Well, congratulations Blossomforth, she thought, all those extra bits will get you a pretty tombstone in the Ponyville Cemetery!
As Peppermint closed her eyes and prayed to Celestia and Blossomforth drowned in self-pity, the circular saw passed through the pony pair, cutting nothing but the ropes as it passed harmlessly between the two mares. The pair was then dumped unceremoniously onto the floor upon reaching the end of the conveyor belt, bringing them both back to their senses. "Are... Are we dead?" Peppermint asked.
Blossomforth wiped her eyes and looked around the room. "I don't think so," she said, pointing to the death trap. "I doubt they have death traps in heaven. Of course, if we went in the other direction..."
"We... We're alive! Oh, thank Celestia we're alive!" Peppermint bent down to kiss the floor, but the power cord on her horn wouldn't stretch that far, so she settled for hugging Blossomforth. "Fleximare, you did it! You got us out of that terrible trap!"
"Well, not exactly," Blossomforth admitted, "but I guess it's better to be lucky than good sometimes."
Peppermint looked at Blossomforth expectantly. "So what do we do now?"
"Well, there's still the matter of stopping that crazy griffon and getting out of here in one piece." Blossomforth scratched her chin with her hoof as she pondered her next move. Her eyes wandered back over to the death trap, which was still running. "You know," she said, "you couldn't lift that vase back in the lab, but you certainly had enough juice to run that crazy machine." She flew over and punched the red button to stop the machine. "The effects of that Magic Eraser stuff must be temporary," she concluded.
Peppermint stared blankly at Blossomforth for a few moments as she processed the thought. She reached up and removed the clamp from her horn, then used her magic to lift one of the sliced restraints off of the ground. "Hey, you're right!" she exclaimed. "My magic's back!"
"Great," Blossomforth said. "How big of an object do you think you could move with that?"
"Gosh, I don't know." Peppermint pointed a hoof at one of the nearby crates. "I've lifted some boxes like that back at the candy store. Is that big enough?"
"Not quite." Blossomforth made a dash for the door. "Come with me—I'll show you what I'm thinking of."
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Fleximare and the Deranged Doctor
Thursday, 12:55 AM: Dr. Audubon's Laboratory
Dr. Audubon smiled as he watched his henchgriffons don their spray weapons and line up to have their tanks filled with his sinister concoction. "Excellent," he crowed. "Once we're through here, we shall fly to Equestria and offer a little demonstration of my Magic Eraser. Capturing a few coastal settlements will be more than enough to strike fear in the hearts of our little pony friends, and inspire the rest of the Griffon Empire to rise up and join in our revolution!"
From her vantage point outside the lab door, Blossomforth rolled her eyes at the doctor's bluster. "This dude's delusional," she told Peppermint. "He thinks the whole Griffon Empire's going to join him? They just renewed their peace treaty with Princess Celestia, like, six months ago."
"What do we do?" Peppermint asked. "There's so many of them."
"Yeah, but how many does Dr. Dummy think he needs to beat a pathetic little pegasus?" Blossomforth replied. "I'm going to go in there and challenge him to a fight, pony-to-pinhead, and see how his brain stacks up against my kung fu."
"But what if he sics all his helpers on you?" Peppermint asked.
"Pshaw." Blossomforth dismissed the concern with a wave of her hoof. "I can deal with a few pencil-necked griffon lackeys. What are they going to do, get rid of my magic?"
"But what about him? " Peppermint pointed at the buffalo standing next to the Magic Eraser tank.
"He could be a problem," Blossomforth said, "so I'm counting on you to hold him off with your magic."
"Me? " Peppermint gave Blossomforth a horrified look as the pegasus burst through the lab doors. "But... But... But he's so big! "
"Hold it right there, featherbrain!" Blossomforth shouted as she dashed up to Dr. Audubon, "I'm afraid your flight's just been canceled!"
"Fleximare?" Dr. Audubon scowled at Blossomforth. "What are you doing here? Didn't I kill you?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, Doc," Blossomforth said with a smug smirk, "but it'll take more than a silly saw to cut me down!"
Dr. Audubon smacked his forehead with his talon. "This is what I get for contracting my death trap out to the lowest bidder."
"Enough talk!" Blossomforth raised her front hooves and assumed a boxer's pose. "Put 'em up! If you think griffons are so much better than ponies, it's time to put your bits where your beak is!"
"I don't have time for this! We are already behind schedule!" Dr. Audubon gestured to his fellow griffons. "Destroy this pony!"
"So you want to do this the hard way, huh?" Blossomforth shrugged as the griffon scientists charged towards her. "Fine then. Have it your way!"
As the first few griffons arrived, Blossomforth did a quick backflip in mid-air, striking two griffons in the face and sending them toppling back into several others. Another griffon came at Blossomforth from the left, but she sidestepped the blow with ease, causing the griffon to smack another griffon attacking from the right. She then spun and unleashed a roundhouse kick that struck three griffons coming up behind her. "Come on, is that the best you can do?" she taunted.
The griffons kept coming, but Blossomforth kept firing, dodging and countering her foes with grace and precision. "You fools!" Dr. Audubon scolded his lackeys. "How can you all be beaten by a mouthy little—yikes! " He ducked underneath a griffon that Blossomforth had flung in his direction. "Do something!" he yelled down to his buffalo assistant.
The buffalo did not have the wings necessary to join the fight, so he did the next best thing: He grabbed whatever he could lay his hooves on—boxes, sprayers, even a few griffon scientists—and flung it all in Blossomforth's direction. "Be careful! Those are expensive!" Dr Audubon chided the buffalo. "The sprayers, I mean, not my minions."
"Whoa!" Blossomforth swung her head back just in time for a box to whiz over her and smash into another griffon. "Hey Peppermint, a little help here?" she asked.
Peppermint took a deep breath, gritted her teeth, and fired up her magic, creating a yellow aura around her horn. A matching yellow aura appeared around the buffalo, but it didn't even slow him down, and he continued his barrage on Blossomforth. "Give it more power!" Blossomforth shouted.
"I don't have more power!" Peppermint shouted back.
"Holy altostratus!" Blossomforth spotted a loaded Magic Eraser sprayer coming at her, and she grabbed a nearby griffon and spun him into the sprayer's path. The griffon's face absorbed most of the ensuing impact, but the blow shattered the sprayer tank, splattering both griffon and pony with the icky green substance.
"Ewwwww !" Blossomforth sputtered. "I've been slimed! And it smells like rotten—huh?" She stopped as she felt her wings go numb, and she looked back to see them hanging limply at her sides. "Uh oh..." was all she could say as she dropped like a rock and landed hard on the lab floor.
"Well now!" Dr. Audubon said as he watched Blossomforth splatter. "How very interesting. It seems that my Magic Eraser is a flight eraser as well!" He unleashed his most evil laugh. "Without magic or flight, conquering Equestria will be a cakewalk!"
"Uhhhh...." Blossomforth picked her head up just in time to see her buffalo nemesis baring down on her at full speed. "This might hurt," she said as she closed her eyes and braced for impact.
Suddenly, Blossomforth felt herself getting yanked back into the air, and opened her eyes just in time to see the buffalo pass harmlessly underneath her and smash face-first into a large metal crate, knocking himself unconscious. "Don't worry, Fleximare!" she heard Peppermint shout. "You're much easier to move than that buffalo!"
Blossomforth watched nervously as her limbs were pulled into a fighting stance. "What are you doing?" she asked Peppermint as a pack of griffons surrounded her.
"Don't worry! This'll be just like playing with my old Stretchy McAwesome doll!" Peppermint assured Blossomforth. "Hi ya! "
"Ahhhh! " Blossomforth screamed as she was flung headfirst into the griffons and her limbs were slammed into every beak they could reach. What the approach lacked in technique, it made up for in sheer reckless abandon, and she mowed down her attackers even faster than before.
"Take that! And that! And that! " Peppermint narrated from the ground. "You're all going down! "
"Ow! Oof! Ouch! For crying out loud, girl, take it easy!" Blosomforth pleaded. "This is the only head I've got!"
Dr. Audubon could only frown as he watched the scene unfold. "I grow tired of this charade!" he declared. He swooped around the battle and landed right behind Peppermint, and then wrapped an arm tightly around the unicorn's neck. "Stop this madness at once!" he commanded.
The surprise attack broke Peppermint's concentration, and Blossomforth once again fell onto the floor. "I hope you've enjoyed your little game," Dr. Audubon growled as he squeezed Peppermint's neck, "because playtime is over. "
"No! Wait!" Blossomforth said. "Don't hurt her!"
"You two have caused me immeasurable grief tonight," Dr. Audubon said as he tightened his grip. "Ergo, I need a constructive outlet for my rage, and I believe this will work quite nicely."
As Peppermint's face turned blue, Blossomforth racked her brain frantically for a new plan. "Let her go!" she demanded. "I'll... I'll... I'll make a deal with you!"
"Oh really?" Dr. Audubon arched an eyebrow at the proposal. "And what sort of deal do you have in mind?"
"Well, um, I was, er..." Blossomforth fumbled for the right words for a few moments before inspiration struck. "I have top-secret documents with information regarding the inner workings of the Ponyville Special Forces Division!" she revealed. "Let her go, and I'll turn over everything I have!"
"Hmmm... Top secret information, you say?" Dr. Audubon's hold on Peppermint loosened a bit as he pondered the offer. "It would be nice to know if the ponies have any aces up their sleeves."
"I know, right?" Blossomforth reached down, unzipped her fanny pack, and pulled out the envelope she had received during her initial mission briefing. Her pulse quickened as she felt the bulge of the small, yet-to-be-armed explosive device inside the envelope. "Everything's right here. Just let Peppermint go, and it's all yours."
Dr. Audubon smiled as he read the words 'TOP SECRET' stamped on the envelope. "Very well," he said, dropping Peppermint on the ground. "I accept your terms."
"Great!" Blossomforth stuck her hoof in the envelope to pull out her initial letter, making sure to press the big red button on the explosive device as she did so. "You can start with my orders about this mission."
Dr. Audubon stepped up and snatched the packet away from Blossomforth before she could pull out the letter. "Let us see what plans those pathetic ponies had for us," he cackled.
Blossomforth waited for a second as the other griffons gathered around Dr. Audubon, and then dashed over to Peppermint. "We should go. Like, right now," she whispered.
The two ponies tiptoed out of the lab, and then made a mad dash towards the building's front entrance, covering the distance in just over a minute. "Phew!" Blossomforth said as the pair ran outside. "We made it, and not a moment too soon!"
Peppermint turned and wrapped Blossomforth in another hug. "Thank you, Fleximare!" she gushed. "That crazy griffon was going to kill me, but you sacrificed your secrets and saved my life again!"
"All in a night's work, ma'am." Blossomforth tried to suppress a chuckle, but failed. "Besides, those idiots will get a real bang out of those files I gave them!"
"What do you mean?"
"Probably nothing," Blossomforth admitted. "After all, that little thing wasn't big enough to—"
BOOM! The building suddenly exploded in a massive ball of fire, sending the ponies flying a good two hundred feet through the air and depositing them in a large snowbank. The pair quickly pulled themselves out of the snow, and watched for a moment as singed griffons sailed across the sky, all leaving smoke trails as if they were fireworks. "Er, I guess I stand corrected," Blossomforth said.
"Excellent work, Fleximare." The sound of a voice behind the two ponies caused them both to leap up in shock, and they turned to see a purple stallion stick his head out of the snow.
"What are you doing here?" Blossomforth asked.
"First things first." The stallion pulled a small spray can out of the snowbank and sprayed Peppermint in the face.
"Yuck! What was... That..." Peppermint lost consciousness and collapsed into the snow.
"Now then," the stallion continued, "you've done a fine job tonight, Miss Forth. You destroyed Dr. Audubon's hideout, thwarted his evil plans, and saved Miss Mint's life."
"I was also punched out by a buffalo, nearly cut in half by a giant saw, and will now probably have to walk home." Blossomforth looked back at her limp wings and shook her head. "You know," she admitted, "I'm really not sure I'm cut out for this superhero stuff."
"The state of both Dr. Aubudon's hideout and Miss Mint's health says otherwise," the stallion replied. "Not just anypony could do what you did, Miss Forth, and even fewer would dare try. The world is a better place with Fleximare in it."
"I guess." Blossomforth sighed. "But just so you know, if I'm going to get tossed into more world-saving jobs like this, I'm going to need more money."
"We'll see what our budget looks like next month."
"One more thing," Blossomforth said before the stallion could sink back into the snow. "You, uh, wouldn't mind giving us a lift home, would you?"
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Fleximare and the Deranged Doctor
Thursday, 10:30 AM: The Skies Above Ponyville
"Oh wow!" Ditzy Doo gazed in wonder at Blossomforth's face. "What happened to your eye?"
"What, this?" Blossomforth pointed at the shiner that the buffalo had left on her face. "It's nothing, really. I, uh, tripped and fell down the stairs at home."
"Ouch." Ditzy winced at the thought. "Well, anyway, I'm really glad you're helping me today. Usually Rainbow Dash makes me put all the lightning rods up by myself."
I'm only here because Rainbow thought sticking me with somepony as accident-prone as you was a better punishment for showing up late than just firing me, Blossomforth thought to herself. "I'm just glad to be here," she told Ditzy. "So which rod are we putting up first?"
"This one!" Ditzy Doo swooped down and grabbed a rod from a pile on the ground. "It's going on top of the town hall!"
The two ponies grabbed opposite ends of the rod and carried it up to the roof of the town hall. Ditzy held the top of the rod steady while Blossomforth pounded in the nails at the bottom. Well, at least my hoof's starting to feel better, Blossomforth thought.
"Hey, did you read the paper this morning?" Ditzy called down. "Apparently some huge griffon criminal got busted last night! The article said the guy was planning on taking over the whole world!"
"Yeah, I heard something about that," Blossomforth said with a roll of her eyes.
"They even had a picture of this humongous fire at the guy's base!" Ditzy spread her hooves wide to emphasize the humongousness of the blaze, letting go of the top of the lightning rod before Blossomforth had pounded all the nails in. The rod immediately fell over, crushing Blossomforth's hoof underneath it before crashing to the ground below.
"Eeyyyyaaaahhhh!!! " Blossomforth's scream echoed across the sky.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" Ditzy stammered. "I'll go get the first aid kit!"
Ditzy quickly skittered away, leaving Blossomforth staring at her once-again-sore hoof with tears welling up in her eyes. "Could this day possibly get away worse?" she whimpered.
"Pssst!" A nearby cloud hissed as her.
Blossomforth's ears perked up at the sound, and she turned to face the cloud as the purple stallion's head appeared from inside it. "Oh no you don't!" Blossomforth said. "You are not sending me halfway around the world to take down a criminal mastermind two days in a row! I am officially on medical leave until this hoof and this eye work properly again!"
The stallion shrugged. "I'm afraid there's a band of rogue changelings in Vanhoover that just won't wait, Miss Forth. This time, however, you won't have it go it alone. You'll be working with one of our newest recruits."
Blossomforth sighed. "At least I won't have to do all the dirty work this time. So who am I working with?"
A familiar unicorn wearing a blue eye mask stuck her head out of the cloud. "Hi!" Peppermint said. "I'm Candy Cane, the most sticky-sweet sidekick in all of Equestria, and I'm ready to chase down some changelings!"
Blossomforth's mouth fell open at the sight, and she put her face in her hooves. "Good grief!"
THE END
