Equestrian Adventure!

by DerpyHooves320

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Self Insert, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human
Length: 38261

Join Zach, in the magical land of Equestria! What will happen? Many things! Shenanigans ensue

Join Zach, as he is sent to Equestria when he is randomly pulled through a portal. What will happen you may ask? Lots could happen, but it doesn't.

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Note: Yes it is self-insert, sorry for that, but not sorry:trollestia:

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Special thanks to:

Super57s, for being a great support to this story, and for proofreading it to the best of his abilities.

Nightmare Jerremy, for being awesome and having a great imagination, and just being a cool dude to talk to.

Lunasmobiletechservice, for putting a lot of funny pictures in the comments, you made me laugh and made my day a few times!

I wish you all good times in your future, and I hope all of you readers have a good time as well!

Published 2015-01-15 06:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-10 07:37:34 UTC

1: A boring day

Today was like any day, boring, just sitting here listening to the teacher. Zach was doing his best to stay awake, but geography is boring! Zach was wearing a Spider-Man shirt, his pants had 'the bomb' drawn on them, and he was also wearing his coat. He loves his coat.

He looked around, trying to entertain himself. Finding nothing to do, he listened to his teacher. "And the Berlin Wall was a terrible thing for the residents of Berlin during World War 2" his teacher said, wait, isn't this geography? He passed it off as nothing. He felt something touch his butt.

He looked behind him, the other person behind him gave him a confused look. "What?" He asked, Zach glared at him for a second before looking forward again. He couldn't help it anymore, he put his arms on his desk and rested his head, after all, he was up all night typing up stuff.

His rest was cut short when the bell rang, he quickly threw his stuff into his backpack and ran out of class. He was in the hallway now, he was finally free for the weekend! His joy was soon ended, 'God damn it, i have to go to my dads place' he thought to himself. He sighed and put his earbuds in and listened to his favorite song: Scary monsters and Nice sprites - Skrillex.

He walked out of the D-Wing building and headed for the front of his school. He took a shortcut through the main building, he couldn't help but to avoid eye contact with anyone, he felt as if he stared into someones eyes for to long it would make them want to fight.

Zach looked at all the banners on the walls, 'I always forget how much Provo High likes bulldogs' he thought as he passed a bronze statue of a bulldog, Provo Highs mascot. He exited the front, getting past as many people as he could. He headed for bus 11, the only bus that would go far enough to reach his house.

The bus driver gave him a cold look as he got on, the bus driver had always been a grump. Zach made his way to the back of the bus, he always sat on the right side on the second to last seat, he felt, comfortable there.

He looked out his window, Beau was standing there hugging his girlfriend. Beau was wearing a black t-shirt with skinny jeans, he was wearing a worn out worn out blue sweater with skulls on it. Beau kissed his girlfriend one more time before getting on the bus. He always sat across from Zach.

As Beau sat down, Brendan got onto the bus. Brendan was wearing a black t-shirt with a faded skull on it with some baggy pants, he was wearing a grey and black hoodie that had little blacks skulls on it, he was also wearing a black beanie on his head.

"Hey man whats up?" He asked Beau.

"Eh" he grunted in reply, Brendan just shrugged his shoulders and sat down behind zach. The bus' engine roared to life and started moving. Feeling tired, Zach decided to take a short nap till his stop came up. He closed his eyes.

He felt something hit him, he opened his eyes, his brothers foot was retreating. "We're here lazy butt" Beau said as he headed for the front of the bus.

'That was fast' he thought to himself. Shaking off the tired feeling, he stood up and proceeded to get off the bus. He looked at his house, it was yellow, it had two doors, one leading downstairs where his neighbors live, and one leading upstairs to where he lived.

He walked over to the gate that surrounded his yard, he hopped it and went inside. He walked up the stairs to be met with a familiar sight. The living room was trashed, ripped up pieces of paper littered the floor, and the cause of it was jumping at his legs.

"Dumb dog, you did it again." He mumbled under his breath, he sighed and started cleaning, knowing neither Beau or his mom would clean it up, and would make him. He finished cleaning it up and looked at his computer, Brendan was sitting at it playing Cat Mario.

Having nothing else to do, he sat on the couch. He sat comfortably, looking around, bored out of his mind. Brendan and Beau walked into the room and sat on the other couch that was in the room. "What should we do?" Brendan asked, his voice filled with boredom.

"I don't know" Beau said.

"Lets go long boarding!" Brendan said, then they got up, grabbed their long boards, and left the house.

Zach sat there for a second, thinking about what he should do for the day. Then a purple portal appeared in the middle of the room, he stared at it out of confusion and awe. Then it grew bigger, and bigger. Then it covered pretty much the entire living room.

"Holy shit" he said, he saw his Constance run out of the room. He was about to do the same, but then he fell to the ground, he felt the whole room moving. "HOLY F-" he couldn't finish his sentence, because a water bottle hit him in the head, knocking him out.

3: Escaping the Dungeon!

Author's Note

UPDATE: Noticeable story changes to smoothen further, some typos fixed.

3: Escaping the Dungeon!

I looked around my cell for the hundredth time, crystal bars, crystal walls, crystal floor, crystal ceiling, and my clothes just sat there on the floor. "Hey!" I yelled to the guard who I knew was nearby. "When do I get out of here?!" I yelled in question, for the hundredth time. I heard the guard groan, then his face appeared at the bars.

"For the hundredth time, NOT UNTIL WE KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU!" He yelled, I grinned, knowing that i was getting on his nerves. He would crack soon, hopefully.

"Ah, so you were keeping count to?" I asked, he looked confused for a second, then realized what he had said.

"Why you little-" the guard said, then he turned away from the bars, swearing to his hearts desire. I sat there laughing, the guard threw me a dirty look, then returned to where ever he was positioned.

'I gotta think of a way out of here' I thought to myself, then a brilliant idea came to mind. "Hey guard?"

"WHAT?!"

"PANCAKE!" I yelled out, hearing an angry and confused grunt before he popped in front of the bars.

"THAT'S IT! I'M COMING IN AND SHUTTING YOU UP BECAUSE I'M DONE WITH THIS!" He yelled, clearly angry that I'd done nothing but bug him. He threw all protocols out the door, unlocked the door and came in, a metal bat in had. Why did he have a metal bat and spear or sword? Using the loosness of the chains, i moved as much as possible, avoiding the attack, sorta. The bat smashed into the chains holding me up, somehow breaking it. But he didn't seem to notice. He swung three more times, first two towards my legs, anger blinding him as he smashed the last chain on my arm. I was now standing on the floor in front of him, a smile of victory spread on my face.

"I'm in trouble now" is all he said while panting, clearly tired from swinging the bat so much. Raising a fish, I punched him straight in his nose, knocking him out. Waving my fist from the pain his nose offered, I wasted no more time and went to my clothes. I quickly put my clothes on, including my coat, feeling the comfort it brought as well. I searched my pockets for my phone, but couldn't find it anywhere. Remembering what that lavender pony said about searching through my stuff, it was clear where it was.

"That bitch" I said in annoyance, before I grabbed the bat and ran towards the cell door. Before I exited, I looked back at the guard. 'Hmm, might as well reward him for offering my escape' I thought. I walked over to him, stripped him of his clothes. 'Now for the finishing touch!' I unzipped my pants, and doused his clothes. 'Perfect!'

~~~~~1 Hour Later~~~~~

The guard woke up, rubbing his head a few times. He looked down to see that he was stripped of everything but his boxers. "Oh ho ho! That little asshole is going down!" He mumbled in anger, before he saw his clothes to the left then put them on. They looked odd, but he thought nothing of it. He put them on, but he noticed they didn't smell right, and realized his clothes were slightly damp. He took a long whiff of his shirt, before he turned his head and puked. "Seriously?!" He yelled out in anger, a new found hatred for the mysterious creature growing.

~~~~~Back to Zach~~~~~

I was walking through the crystal castle, searching for any sign of the lavender mare who took my phone. I looked in a room as I passed by, the lavender mare was standing there, talking to a few guards. Ducking out of sight before they would notice, I hid just on the other side of the hall, thinking of a plan. "Perfect!" I mumbled to myself.

I ran into the room, yelling random German words! They jumped from the surprising entry, but the guards took immediate action and aimed their now drawn spears at me. I swung the bat at the guard closest to me, hearing an audible 'thump' sound, as the bat sent him to the ground. The second guard lunged at me, but I leaned backwards and a little to the left to avoid the attack. Sadly, I'm no video game character, and gravity still took it's toll. *thump*

"God damn gravity!" I yelled, annoyed by physics. I was about to get up, but was met with a spear. Seeing no way to successfully avoid the attack now, i raised my hands. "Aw, well, I surrender" I said, he nodded, letting me stand, spear still close to me. "NOT!" I practically screamed, before grabbing the bat and letting loose a wild swing, hitting the guard in the head. He did the cartoony action of sticking his tongue out before falling over. I smiled at my victory, before I looked at the lavender one.

"Alright, if you have told me your name, I forgot, and if you didn't.....then I forgot!" I said, shrugging my shoulders a little. She stared at me for a couple of seconds, clearly not happy. Suddeny, she burst.

"What do you think your doing?!" She asked in an upset tone, and I had no idea what she was talking about. "We were going to let you out in a few hours, we told you this earlier!" She practically yelled at me, showing that she was clearly mad at me.

"Alright, first off, what did I look like when you told me this? Cause I fall asleep with my eyes open. And secondly, you still didn't tell me your name!" I said, she just stared at me in utter confusion, or was she trying to understand me? Probably confusion.

She sighed then face palmed then looked up at me, "my name is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship" she said, I rubbed my chin for a few seconds, pondering on what she meant.

"So, you're of a royal family?" I asked, she gave me a confused look then scratched her chin.

"I don't know really, but why aren't you bowing? Normally everyone bows when they learn I'm a princess!" She said, I looked around for a second, expecting something to happen. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well I'm sorry Princess" in a very sarcastic tone, before I gave a small bow. "Expect none of that from now on, you're not getting it so enjoy that one and only bow" I said, giving her a small smile, trying to seem friendly. But she had something of mine. I stopped smiling and grabbed her shoulders, "where is it?!" I asked, she was pretty much frozen in my grasp as I shook her all cartoony like.

"W-what are you talking about?!" She asked in a bit of panic. I stared her right in the eyes.

"My phoooone-A!" I said, she stared back at me in confusion.

"Phoooone-A?" She asked.

"Phoooone-A!"

"Phoooone-A

PHOOOONE-A!"

"Whats a phoooone-A?" She asked, I looked at the table on the far side of the room. Right there, sitting almost perfectly fine, was my phone.

"Ahahahaha! I got my phone back!" I yelled as I ran over to it, picking it up, I got into a pitching stance for some stupid reason. "And now for me to escape!" I said as I threw my phone at Twilight, laughing all the way. It hit her square in the face, causing her to fall over out of pure confusion and surprise. As fast as I could manage, I ran over and grabbed my phone, then I ran into the hall. I looked for the best route for escape, then I saw it. A window at the end of the hall. I started sprinting as fast as I could towards it! Which wasn't exactly fast, but good enough. I looked back to see an angry Twilight. She was looking me right in the eyes. I looked back in front, and realized how close the window was now.

I ran straight into the window, smashing it to pieces and right out the other side. I looked down to see that we were on the second floor, the fall looking unpleasant. "AHSHITAHSHITAHSHI-" *Plomp*

~~~~~Some Time Later~~~~~

I opened my eyes, everything was a little fuzzy. I rubbed my eyes, noticing that I wasn't strapped to wherever I was, and I sat up. I was in what looked like a hospital, it had beds all over the place, IVs next to them, and a a couple filled with ponies. What kind of a hospital was as open as this one? it didn't make sense.

"I see you're awake" I heard someone say, then Twilight walked around the curtains that were beside my bed.

"Oh, hello Twilight" I said, laying down again. I saw her creep closer out of my peripherals, and I felt a drop of sweat form on my forehead. Panic now forming slowly.

"Why di-"

"I'MSORRYITHOUGHTSOMETHINGBADWASGOINGTOHAPPENSOIMADEABREAKFORIT!" I quickly blubbered out, now almost completely panicked. I heard her facepalm, which seemed to be an odd thing for a princess. I also heard a comment from the other side of the room telling me to shut up. I felt slightly guilty for being so loud.

After a few seconds of laying there, I heard Twilight speak again. "Nothing bad will happen to you, just follow me" she said, I sat up to see her turned around and walking away. I stood up from the bed and started following her. We walked through the doors then she turned around. "Forgetting something?" She asked, I looked down to see that I was in a hospital gown.

"My clothes!" I said as I ran back to my bed. I saw them on the little table there, folded nice and tidy, but my coat was just hung there on the wall. "Rude" I said as I dressed, I would NEVER hang my coat up, I fold my coat with care. After I dressed, I returned to Twilight, who was patiently waiting in the hall.

"Alright, let's go" she said. Where she was leading me, I did not know. But I knew one thing: it was definetly not fun.

4: CUDDLES!

Author's Note

UPDATE: Errors fixed, story changed to smoothen it easier

4: CUDDLES!

We walked through the doors to the hospital, I recieved a lot of wierd looks on the way out, but they stopped staring when we got outside. But there were still some outside who began their staring session at me. The day was nice, warm, and sunny, so I quickly forgot about them as I admired the beauty around here. That was right befoer some pegasi put storm clouds up in the sky, which immediatly started raining on us. "Oh my gosh! I forgot they scheduled rain today!" Twilight said, causing me scratch my head in confusion.

"What do you mean 'scheduled' the rain?" I asked, she turned and looked at me in confusion, probably thinking I knew what was going on.

"Don't your species control the weather in your world?" She asked, I almost laughed, but held it back to be a little serious for once.

"Well if we did, then people wouldn't die every year" I replied, causing Twilight to give me a sad and confused look.

"W-weather naturally kills you humans?" She asked, I looked her in the eyes, feeling some sorrow.

"Yes, no, maybe so. Only matters on how we treat the situation, or if we're willing to even address it" I said, she just stared at me, still confused. I pulled my coat's hood up as the rain above us started to get a bit more intense.

"Quick, grab my hand!" She said, also feeling the effects of the rain. I blushed a little, since I've never held someone's hand in the rain, but listened to her. Once I had hold of her hand, her horn started to glow, a lavender aura surrounding us both. Then with a popping sound, we were on a wooden platform next to a train. My body not knowing what happened to it instantly took action, treating it like extreme motion sickness. I stood there, vomit pouring out from my mouth all over the conductor who was, unfortunately, standing in front of me.

"Sorry" I said, he nodded, before simply pulling out a rag, and wiping off as much as possible from his facial area.

"Are you getting on this train?" He asked, his face was still covered in vomit, except his eyes and nose, but by the looks of things, he was probably used to this kind of stuff. Or just really good at not caring.

"Sorry! It's his first time teleporting and I didn't think that would happen!" Twilight quickly apologized, the conductor chuckled a little at this, also realizing who's presence he was in.

"It's quite alright princess" he said with a quick bow, "I take it you two are heading for Canterlot?" He asked. I can only imagine that she went there a lot for him to know where she was going to take me.

"Yes" she answered, he waved his hands in a fancy way, ending the hand twirl with a pointed finger.

"Right this way" he said, pointing to a small line that entered the train. We said 'thank you' then headed over to the line. When we got there, the first thing that happened was them offering to let us cut. We nicely declined, then I spotted eyes staring right at me.

I shifted a little, I felt a bit panicked with this much attention. Twilight noticed this and looked at me. "Whats wrong?" She asked, I stared at the crowd for another second.

"I-i never get this much attention where I come from, everyone just ignores me and that's how I like it" I said, Twilight looked around at the crowd. I felt the panic squeeze my head. "I feel light headed" I said, raising my hand to my head, smacking it at the same time, before I fell flat on my face, just laying there and not wanting to get back up.

I heard gasps from all around, Twilight's being the loudest. 'Just fake sleep!' I told myself, hoping they would all just shrug it off and leave me alone. I felt someone (some pony?) grab my arm, then my other arm.

"Thanks for helping me Applejack" I heard Twilight say as I felt myself being dragged. Out of curiosity, I opened my eye a little to see an orange mare, who had a stetson on her head. She was wearing what a farmer girl would wear, shorts with a small but flexible looking skirt, a shirt, and a plaid shirt over the shirt but unbuttoned. My eyes wandered a little, and I ended up seeing a little down her shorts, seeing three apples on her butt. Well, not exactly looking down them, since there was just a hole where the apples were. I began noticing a similar pattern with all the other ponies as well.

It was by now that I noticed we were on the train, since I was too busy ogling this 'Applejack'. "So were ya taken this.....thing?" Applejack asked, I sat up and pretended I heard nothing from five minutes ago.

"Where am I? Whats going on? Wheres the taco? Hello who are you?" I asked looking at Applejack, not really needing to ask the last one. She looked at me a little surprised, obviously not expecting a barrage of questions.

"Uh, what?" Applejack asked, before shaking her head. "Um, hey there sugar cube, names Applejack" she said, sounding a little hesitant, but she put her hand out anyways. Me knowing what she wanted, I grabbed hold of her hand, and held it. Nothing else happened for a few seconds. She blushed a little, she opened her mouth to say something, then I started shaking her hand.

"Hello, Applejack, I am Zach. So where's the taco?" I asked looking around, then seemingly out of no where, a pink pony in a taco costume appeared.

"Did some pony say taco?" She asked, raising a pair of maracas. She was pink, pink, and more pink. She had the taco costume on, but my eyes spotted the pink shirt underneath. She was also wearing a blue skirt that barely covered her knees. So far, she was the only pony that didn't actively show the tattoo on her butt, but I was curious to know what it was. If she had one.

I leaned towards Twilight. "Does she have a tattoo on her butt like you and Applejack?" I asked, she took a second to process what I said, before instantly blushed.

"When did you look at our plots?!" Twilight asked in a tone of embarrasment. "More importantly, WHY were you looking at our plots?!" She asked again.

I put a finger to my chin, signifying to them that I was thinking. "My eyes tend to wander a bit, plus you've got holes in your clothing that lead straight to them" I said putting my hand back down. Twilight was still blushing, and so was AJ, both probably feeling a little embarrased to know their own clothing flaws. I looked back at the pink one. "Uh, names Zach" I said, putting my hand out for a shake, expecting to actually shake hand with this pony. I was surprised when he suddenly lunged at me for a big hug. She was no longer wearing the taco costume. Wait, where did it go?

"Hi my name is Pinkie Pie!" She said as she started to cuddle with me, and I felt my face turn red. "Mm, you feel comfy" she said, I believe my face was now blood red, or very close to it.

"Uh, P-Pinkie, this is a little awkward" I said, but she tightened her hold on me. I sensed that she wasn't going to release me anytime soon. "Can we at least get on a seat to cuddle if you're not going to release me?" I asked, then somehow she picked me up and put me on a seat, still cuddling me.

I looked at Twilight and AJ for help. "Sorry sugar cube, she won't let go for a few hours" Applejack said, I sighed in defeat, and did what I've never done before. I cuddled. As soon as I started cuddling, I felt Pinkie tighten her grip enough for me to feel her breasts push against my chest. 'Oh god' I thought, since i knew this was going to take a while.

I looked at Twilight, who was now holding back her laughter. 'Any word of this to anyone else, I will get you!' I mouthed to her, she nodded her head, but I already knew she would let it slip, girls always let it slip. I returned my attention to Pinkie, who was now sound asleep on me.

I watched Twilight and Applejack sit on the seat on the other side of the table. Wait a table? With a few bottles in an ice bucket? 'Fancy' I thought, looking around a bit. There were fancy curtains at every window, a tiny chandelier hung from the roof of the train cart, and there were fancy clothes on a few other ponies who were also in the cart with us. Once again, they were all staring at me. Always with the staring.

I glared at a few of them, getting bored of staring at those who blinked before me. I looked at the window, watching the rain drops flowing down the window, some going slow, some going fast. I picked two that were going down at the same time, pretending they were racing. I laughed a little at the thought, since it was one of my favorite things as a child. I looked back at Pinkie, who was now snoring a little in a cute way. I smiled, then closed my eyes, hoping to get some rest.

5: A visit from princess moon butt

Author's Note

UPDATE: Errors fixed, quite a few cringy things changed to be less cringy and to make the story smoother. God forgive me for this chapter anyways.

5: A visit from princess moon butt

I was having one of those weird dreams again, the ones that feel like an LSD trip. Everything was going to shit fast, the world of Grazmark was being invaded by burger people from system 55027B12. I was head of the few, the brave, the Space Navy. I was leading my mark-IV battle cruiser through the thick of the battle, our target was the Kracken Burger, a burger so big, it dwarfed Grazmark, making it look like the tip of a needle. Surprisingly enough, our battle cruisers also dwarfed it, but we were in the atmosphere not to long ago, and the planet dwarfed us. Ah well, back to the plan!

We were nearing the KB. "Arm the missiles! Man the lazer cannons! And someone get me a cookie!" I yelled, then a new recruit appeared out of no where, and handed me a cookie. "Thank you" I said, he saluted then returned to his post.

"Sir!" Another recruit yelled.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We have been boarded, sir!" He yelled, just before a long, gooey, string of cheese hit him in the back. "Also, here's a cookie" he said, handing me a cookie as well, before being dragged into the hall, where he was cheese-a-fied by a cheeseburger deluxe. I pulled out a lazer pistol, aiming it at the burger.

"Never seen a dream like this" I heard someone say to my left, so I looked to my left.

"Who?" I asked, but before the voice could answer, I blasted the burger who was mid jump, in an attempt to get me. I saw the owner of the voice, and her eyes went wide as she watched the burger explode. "Who are you and how did you get on my ship?" I asked, hoping she wasn't a burger in disguise.

She looked at me, her eyes a deep shade of blue, her coat was midnight blue, and her mane was just like a starry night, and was mysteriously flowing in some sort of magical wind. She wasn't wearing much, a dress that was pretty much see through, and a bikini. Didn't look like anything a burger would wear. "My name is Luna, princess of the night" she said, I saw a crescent moon on her plot, which also wasn't hard to see, and I laughed a little. "Whats so funny?" She asked.

"The uh, nickname I came up for you" I said, while blasting a few more burgers by blindly shooting the lazer pistol down the hall.

"What is it?" She asked, I saw a piece of burger go straight through her, which implied that she wasn't actually there.

"Moon butt" I said, roaring with laugher, causing her cheeks to flare with a bright red.

"Why would you give me such a name?!" She asked, clearly upset but such a funny name. I went to reply, but a string of hot gooey cheese flew through her, smacking me square in the stomach. I felt it pull me over the rail that surrounded my captain chair.

"Shit! Save yourselves!" I yelled to the crew, before I felt the ground below, the burger smashing me into it. I felt more pulling after the initial landing, causing me to look up. I saw a super duper cheesy burger, and I know for a fact, no one survives a cheese strike from them. I reached for my lazer pistol, only to find it covered in cheese, rendering it useless. I knew this would be the end, so I accepted my fate. I let loose a tear of sorrow, worrying for the crew.

"Need some help with your nightmare?" Moon Butt asked, I looked at her, a huge feeling of confusion flooded my mind.

"What do you mean, 'nightmare?" I asked, causing her to giggle a little. I felt something on my leg now, causing me to look. When I looked, I saw cheese crawling on me, more cheese then I ever dared to put on a taco. And it was angry.

"Allow me" she said, she walked over to the deluxe, then she just poked it, and it dissapeared. I stared at her with eyes as wide as the KB. Almost literally. Almost. "I told you it was just a nightmare" she said, causing it all to dissapear, and we were sitting in some chairs in a blank white room. I just sat there, looking around in confusion, waiting for something, anything, to happen. I felt an idea form in my head, then all the sudden, a chalkboard appeared, with the idea on it. 'What you think will appear here' it said.

"Ah, I see you are testing out the dream chamber" Luna said, I thought about her words. All the sudden, I started imagining everything! Dogs wearing taco costumes! Dancing mime bears! The A-Team! And Five Nights At Freddy's! Luna looked at all of them, eyes wide, while she laughed nervously at the dogs and bears, but looked horrified at the sight of the sight of the animatronics and A-Team.

I jumped around in excitment, I could finally enjoy everything I could enjoy! Then almost instantly, my mind got working. "Don't do it" Luna said, I looked at her in sadness, and slight anger. She would deny my chance at enjoyment. "The last one that imagined me in bed with them was banished for a few weeks on the moon. In dream that is" she said, and I face palmed so hard, the room cracked a little.

"I wasn't gonna think about that! I was gonna think about this!" I said, then Justin Beiber appeared, he was wearing make up all over his face, a pink princess tutu, and a terrible hair-do.

"I like ducks" he said in a high pitched tone, before he exploded into a bunch of kittens that were wearing thongs for some reason. I looked at Luna/Princess Moon Butt, and her face said it all. She was laughing so hard her face looked like old grandma Kelly's wrinkled face, and not a single sound was coming from her. I walked over to her, confused yet entertained. As soon as I was next to her, she fell over. I looked behind me to see that the kittens were doing some weird dances while still wearing thongs. I started laughing as well, so I fell down on top of Luna. We stopped laughing after a few seconds, blushes taking over our once wrinkled faces. We were uncomfortably close now.

"Oh god" I yelled, jumping off her as quickly as a dream person could. She was still laying down, her face still shining red. "So sorry moon bu- I meant Luna!" I said, she just nodded a little, still laying on the ground. I quickly thought of a thought reading device, to make sure her brain didn't break. What I got made me start grinning.

'That felt.....good, please do it again! Please please PLE- is that a thought translator?' She thought, after she realized I was reading her thoughts. I grinned even bigger at the new findings, and I walked towards her a little.

"Thought you didn't want me to from the look on your face" I said, still grinning my stupid grin. She slapped me so hard, I flew back a few feet.

She flew over to me. "That's enough in the dream room! Goodbye!" She said, her face red from anger and embarrassment. Then it happened, I was back in the deluxe's cheesy grasp.

"NOOO-" I screamed as it devoured me, before it all went black.

6: Meeting Twilights friends

I woke up, almost flying out of my seat! I looked around, remembering where I was. 'This train is still going?' I thought to myself, I looked around. Twilight and AJ were in another seat, talking to three mares, a blue one with a rainbow mane, a yellow one with a pink mane, and a talking marshmallow with legs and purple mane and tail. They looked over at me, I quickly closed my eyes and faked sleeping.

"Your right Rarity, they do look cute together" I heard Twilight say, I opened my right eye a little bit, finally realizing that Pinkie was still cuddling me.

"Shouldn't we wake them? We're almost there!" I heard a new voice say, but it was still coming from Twilight's direction.

"I-I think we should let them rest a little longer" I heard another new voice say, just barely hearing it since it was really quiet. I sat there for a few seconds, thinking about what I was getting into.

I saw a shadow loom over me and Pinkie, I opened my eye a little more and looked up. "Morning sleepy head" I heard the blue one say, who was now hovering above me. I opened my other eye all the way, letting her gaze into my green but sometimes blue eyes. She backed off and sat in the seat across me.

"So he's awake?" Twilight asked, joining her on the seat.

"Yep! He's awake" I heard Pinkie say as she jumped off my chest, using her skirt as a parachute, much to my embarrassment since she was above me.

I averted my eyes, but I now know that her underwear is pink. "That's not the proper thing to do above him, Pinkie" the marshmallow said, also joining Twilight on the other seat. Pinkie landed on the end of my seat, I sat up and she instantly jumped onto my lap. The yellow one joined us on the seat, hiding behind her mane.

I looked around, looking at the new faces. "Alright, you weren't here before-" I said, pointing at the yellow one "-you weren't here-" pointing at the blue one"-and I have no idea how the marshmallow is walking" I finished, pointing at the now offended looking marshmallow. The others giggled a little.

The marshmallow opened her mouth to reply, but Twilight stopped her with a wing. "I'll handle this" she said, clearing her throat. "This is Rarity" she said, removing her wing to reveal the now named marshmallow. "This is Rainbow Dash" pointing at the blue one, who was eyeing me. "And the one next to you is Fluttershy" she finished, pointing at Fluttershy, who was now waving at me.

I scratched my chin, thinking about the names. Then I suddenly remembered my dream! I opened my mouth to speak, but was stopped when Pinkie beat me to the speaking part. "You were just about to tell us about this crazy dream about hamburgers but in the middle of it you met princess Luna but nicknamed her princess moon butt" she said, all in one breath. My jaw was pretty much touching the floor.

"Pinkie, I highly doubt he had a dream about that" Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

"Actually, shes spot on" I said, Rainbow's jaw was now through the floor. "Any one know how she does it?" I asked, they all shook their heads. "So....how did you know about my dream, Pinkie?" I asked.

"Just a hunch" she replied, I face palmed. "Why do you keep face palming?" She asked, I tried replying, but couldn't come up with an answer. I just shrugged my shoulders, turning my attention to the still filled bottle.

"Any cups around?" I asked, still looking at the bottle.

"Why do you need a- oh" Twilight said, realizing I was staring at the bottle, practically drooling. "So, you drink?" She asked, I did the most reasonable thing.

"Yes, I can." I said, she just face palmed. "In my world, when your 14 in Sweden, Ireland, or Russia, you can drink, officially making you a man" I said, which just made them all face palm, except Pinkie. Pinkie handed me a red solo cup, whi- 'where the hell did she get these?!' I asked myself. I just shrugged, grabbed the bottle, popped the lid, and poured myself a drink. Pinkie had also done so, but with grape juice. 'Where'd she get th- you know what, I won't even ask anymore' I decided. I brought the cup to my lips, tipped it, and drank the....water? I swallowed so my mouth was clear. "Why does this taste like water?" I asked, staring at the bottle. I read the label, 'Authentic Crystal Water' it read.

I just stared at the bottle in defeat, not noticing it at first made me sad. "You OK?" Fluttershy asked, I turned and looked at her.

"Yes, just disappointed to know that even this place keeps me from trying an alcoholic beverage" I said, the others started laughing.

"Sorry for the prank, Zach" Applejack said, pulling a bottle out from under the table. "Here's the bottle you were lookin' for" she said, handing it over. I popped the lid off to pour it, but to my dismay, the bottle was empty. They started laughing uncontrollably, facing defeat, I just dropped my head on the table with a thud.

I pulled my head off the table, looking out the window, I saw that we were now entering a train station. 'Finally!' I looked around, just barely noticing that all the other passengers were looking at me. "Alright, take a good loooong look" I said, standing up and spinning slowly for them. "Satisfied?" I asked, they all just mumbled a little. I fell backwards as the train stopped, hitting the ground with thud, and also the sound of cameras taking pictures of me. "Welp, gravity 2, Zach 0"

Author's Note

Fun fact: I just wanna taste it ONCE before I judge it. Good = drink every now and then. Bad = NOPE!

Zach/Derpy out

7: Meeting princess sun butt!

I got off the train with Twilight and her friends, and once again, there were more staring eyes. "Hey Twilight, why are we here?" I asked, looking at all the other ponies, hoping that they would look away.

Twilight slowed down and looked at me. "We are here to see Princess Celestia, Applejack and Pinkie tagged along, Rarity was coming to shop, and Rainbow brought Fluttershy so they could watch a Wonder bolts show." She explained, I scratched my chin for a second.

"Makes sense" I said, we walked out of the station into the city. I noticed that the inhabitants started taking pictures of me. "Hey Twilight, couldn't we just teleport there?" I asked, she stopped and face palmed.

"Alright, every pony get close to me" she said, I got next to her along with her friends. Then with a flash of light and a popping noise, we were in a castle. To be more precise, in the throne room, of a castle. My mind not knowing what happened again, I lost balance and fell over. I just lay there, thinking about how stupid that looked. The others were leaning over me.

"You OK sugar cube?" AJ asked, I nodded, getting up onto my feet. I looked at the throne, seeing a startled mare there. She was white, with a flowing mane that was pink, green, and light blue. She was wearing a dress that matched her fur color, but a bit of her dress was missing at the side, revealing a sun. I laughed a little.

"Whats so funny" the mare asked, I calmed myself a little.

"Oh, just the name I thought of for you" I said, she cocked her head sideways a little.

"What nickname?" She asked, obviously curious.

"Sun butt" I said, then I saw a purple hand coming for my face. Ducking, I just barely avoided the slap, making Twilight lose her balance, and fall flat on her face. I was laughing so hard, I failed to noticed the incoming blue hand. It hit me so hard, the sound echoed five times, like it was from a cartoon or anime. After a second of just standing there, I let my brain enter power saving mode, and fell down on the ground.

"Oh m-my, are you OK?" I heard Fluttershy ask, I just groaned in pain. That slap felt like bullet! Without the death and wounds. I felt a hand on my head, which started to pet me a little. "He hit him to hard Rainbow" she said.

"Well, he insulted the princess and knocked Twilight over!" Rainbow said back, I lifted my head a little to look at her. "OK, maybe it was" she said, moving out of the way of a mirror. My cheek was blood red, creating a turkey like shape.

"enough of this silly nonsense!" I heard Sun Butt yell, I looked in her direction. "Why are you all here?" she asked, I opened my mouth to explain, but turned it over to Twilight by pointing at her.

"I came here to tell you about Zach, this human that is currently on the floor" she said, pointing back at me. "and Zach, address her as Celestia" Twilight finished before letting me take over with the talk.

Celestia was looking at me, it took me a second to register what she wanted. "I am Zach, and I come in peace" I said, doing some weird arm movements. "I don't know how I got here, but she locked me up" I said, pointing at Twilight.

"Hmm, I see" Celestia said, then she stood up and walked over to us. "then what is this device in your pocket" she asked, using her magic to pull my phone out. I reached for it, trying to grab it, but she kept it just out of my reach. "Explain what it is" she said, looking at it closely.

"It's my phone" I said, she looked at me in confusion. "It lets me talk to people I know, like my mom, my friends, my dog, and my teacher" I said, which only seemed to confuse her more.

"What type of magic does it run on?" She asked, using her magic to take the back off.

"Electricity" I said, she looked at me like she had seen a phantom.

"That is not possible" she said, she used a spell on it, doing something to it. "Tell me, how did you put the thunder cloud in it?!" She asked, she was almost face to face with me.

"My charger" I said leaning back a little, she kept getting in my face. "I plug it into my phone, and I plug the charger into an outlet, and it charges!" I explained, falling on my ass at the last second. "Damn gravity" I said again. Celestia pulled away from my face, then clicked the power button on my phone, pulling up the lock screen.

"I will have my scientists study it later, but for now, you may have it back" she said, using her magic to put it back in my pocket. "As for now, we must find you a place to stay" she said, I didn't even think about that!

"He appeared in my castle in what looks like a room" Twilight said, I nodded. "So we could move his room out of it, and build him a little home with it!" She said, I started shaking my head.

I turned around, looking at Twilight. "You better have power there!" I said, she nodded.

"It can be arranged" she said, I nodded.

"Thanks again Sun B- I meant Celestia!" I yelled, getting a quick punch to my arm from Twilight. "Stop hitting me" I said, she playfully smacked my arm again. "Baka!"

Author's Note

Hey everyone Derpy/Zach here (which one am I?) and like you saw in the last chapters author notes, I did a fun facts thing. You will all be seeing fun facts from now on! Hope you all enjoyed, Derpy/Zach out.

Fun Fact: Power Saver Mode for me, is me getting really tired really fast, but still managing to stay awake for whatever is happening! Great for German class, Russian class, and English class!

8: Vampony and T-Rated? (what?)

We walked around Canterlot for a bit, going to a fashion store with Rarity, and since this 'Spikey Wikey' wasn't here, I got the privilege of carrying her bags. After the shopping spree, I was carrying 15 bags of clothes, fabrics, and gems. 'Why would priceless jewelry be in a fashion store?' I thought to myself, but pushed the thought aside. We finished the day off with the Wonder Blots show, which cost 30 bits, which just happen to be gold coins. 'Welp, it's official, ponies are richer then bill gates!' I thought, laughing a little bit.

"Look! There they are!" Rainbow yelled, pointing at 5 ponies in skin tight suits, little thunder clouds were left behind them. They did all sorts of tricks! Barrel Rolls, Loop Dee Loops, Free Fall, and even a game of chicken! Of course I missed half of it, mainly because of the bags I still had. The show ended sooner then I expected. We walked out of the arena, back onto the main road. "That. Was. AWESOME!" Rainbow yelled, doing a small loop.

"It was pretty awesome" Fluttershy said, she seems more comfortable around me.

"I have to say, they are as good as you say they are, Rainbow" Rarity said, taking a sip of tea that she had levitating near her.

"Guess I'll attend their next concert if I can" Twilight said, she was writing a few notes, looking up every now and then.

"Mmmph!" I tried yelling 'yeah!' But was interrupted by a bag that fell on my face.

"Hehe, I'll get that fer' ya sugar cube" AJ said, pulling the bag away from my face. Just as she did, my foot caught on something. With the help of gravity and the bags, I fell down on top of the jewels in a bag.

"Aw shit!" I said, quickly getting off the gems. Unfortunately, my shirt was ripped a little, and there was a cut.

"Oh my! Are you alright?" Rarity asked, grabbing her bags in her magic.

"Tis' but a scratch" I said, dusting myself off. "But my shirt got the worst of it" I said, examining my shirt as I got up. "But trust me, I've had far worse" I said, looking at my slightly messed up finger. It overlapped my pinkie finger a little, but not too much. 'Wheres Pinkie...'

"That's gravity - 4, Zach - 0" Pinkie said, appearing out of no where. She had churros in hand, and a taco sitting on her head.

"I'll take care of it on the train" Twilight said, continuing towards the train station, we all stood there for a second. "Come on or else we'll miss the train!" Twilight said, we all hurried, just barely making it to the train station. We were on the train again, Twilight took care of the scratch on my chest with a few bandages. No one was cuddling with me this time, I looked out the window, staring at the sunset.

"Do you miss them?" Fluttershy asked, sitting next to me.

"Miss who?" I asked.

"Your family" she said, I scoffed a little.

"Why should I, my brothers treat me like shit, and the kids at school do their worst all the time, making my life a tiny little hell" I said, Fluttershy now had a concerned look on her face.

"I know you miss them, I can tell through your eyes" she said, then the sun dissapeared over the horizon. I looked out the window on the other side of the train, where a full moon was emerging. "Do you like the night?" She asked.

"I actually enj-" I stopped when I looked back at Fluttershy. Her ears were now that of bats, her wings were leathery, her eyes were red, and 2 pointy teeth stuck out of her mouth. "-oy it a lot" I finished, trying my best to not make this awkward.

"Whats wrong?" She asked, leaning towards me a little bit. He fangs stuck out a little more, getting closer to my neck.

"Uh...your a...vampony?" I asked, she sighed.

"It's been like this for a while now" she said, getting a little closer. "Don't worry, I won't bite." She said, I sighed in relief. "This time" she said, wrapping her arms around me. I felt a little weird at first, but decided to go with it.

'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?' I thought to myself, but I had a weird feeling some one had heard it.

"I can make you stronger" Fluttershy said, looking me in the eyes.

"You c-can hear my thoughts?" I asked, she nodded her head slowly, squeezing me a little. Her legs wrapped around one of mine, making me blush intensely.

"Keep it T-Rated Fluttershy!" Pinkie yelled somewhere nearby, Fluttershy just rolled her eyes. 'What does Pinkie mean by keeping it T-Rated?' I asked myself, and Fluttershy listened in on it.

"I have no idea" she said, getting a little closer to my face. "All I can tell is that your enjoying this" she said, then rested her head on my chest, and started drifting off into sleep. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, then I started closing my eyes. I opened them one more time, seeing a glowing pair of red eyes, I fell asleep.

Author's Note

Who ever gets that reference, will win my eternal respect.

Fun Fact: Vampires scare me a little bit! They are freaky little bastards, and I don't ever want to meet one! But for the story, I had to. Just had to.

9: SHE BIT ME!

I was in my dream for a second, for what was there defined true terror. It was a dream of just me, a black void, and a glowing pair of red eyes. They were pulling me in, I could feel it, and I couldn't move I was so terrified. I was trying to scream, but nothing came out.

Wake up!

~~~~~~~~~~

I sat straight up, sweat running down my face. I looked around the train cart. It was still night time, but the moon was higher up. I heard snoring off to my right, I looked that way but saw nothing. I looked down, and instantly froze. Fluttershy was naked on the ground, a puddled of what I was hoping to be water. Worst part off all, she was waking up and looking right at me. Her eyes the eerie red glow from my nightmare.

"Hello Zach" she said, starting to get off the floor, she was soaked wet with the water, but I did my best to ignore the fact that she was wet and naked. "Did you rest well?" She asked, her fangs poking out a little.

I swallowed nervously, 'what the hell am I supposed to tell a vampire?' I asked myself, then my mind went into auto-pilot. "Happy birthday!" I said, then instantly fell limp on the seat. She started crawling onto my chest, and this is when I noticed my pants were halfway down. "You didn't, do that did you?" I asked, she looked down at where I was staring.

"Not yet, but do you want me to?" She asked, slowly moving her hands towards it. "I would do it for you" she said, almost there. Luckily, I was saved when Rainbow came walking in.

"Hey Zach, we're alm-" she stopped when she saw Fluttershy staring at my boxers.

"Oh, it's that time?" I asked, looking at my wrist. "Well, guess you can't do that" I said, quickly grabbing my pants, I pulled them up, making Fluttershy snap out of her trance. I got off the seat, looking at Rainbow, who was now red all over. "She didn't do it! I didn't do it! But I'm sure she would've!" I said, pointing at Rainbow, then Flutters, then me.

"So sorry" I heard her say from behind, I turned around to look at Fluttershy, who was now pulling her clothes on. "Whenever it happens, I go into a mini heat cycle" she said, I slapped myself physically, mentally, and other worldly. 'The one lesson I was awake for in health class!' I said to myself, feeling stupid for forgetting it in a world of ponies.

"Well damn, that sucks" I said, they both looked at me cause of the terrible pun. "What? Didn't you find that pun-ny?" I asked, I got a soft slap from Rainbow.

"Guess you were, pun-ished!" She said, we were all laughing now. Fluttershy was clothed before Twilight walked in, seeing us all laughing, and a soaked Fluttershy. She raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"What are you all laughing at?" She asked, I managed to stop laughing for a second.

"The puns are, un-bear-able" I said, making Rainbow and Flutters laugh more. Twilight just face palmed, but when she pulled her hand down, she finally realized that Fluttershy was a vampony.

"I thought we got rid of it!" She said, rushing over to Fluttershy, looking at the wings, ears, and fangs. "How long has it been like this?" She asked, still looking at her vampony parts.

"It's been like this for months" she said, studying the princess as she examined her.

"Hold up! Got something about vamps on my phone" I said, pulling out my phone. The 14% life left warning popped up, blocking me from clicking on the chrome browser. After I did, I went to the offline reading list, looking for the vampire guide. I found it and pulled it up.

"Alright, 1: Vampires must feed every 5 dies, or they will face pain in the stomach. They cannot die of starvation, but the pain is enough to make them end themselves" I said, making the others gasp out of fear. "2: The vampires bite takes 3 days to infect you, turning you into one" I said, Twilight started searching our necks for bites, finding none, she let me continue. "3: If a vampire bites you, they will imprint on you, and try to drink all your blood" Fluttershy almost fainted. "4: If a vampire is in love with you, they will read your mind, in an attempt to find something about them in your mind" I said, glaring at Fluttershy, who was now blushing. "5: They can't burn in the sun, nor glitter. They are not gay vampires from the Twilight Saga" I said, making Twilight cock her head in curiosity. "And the rest is just about how to kill vamps, cure bites, and ward them away" I said.

"Oh my" Fluttershy said, crying a little. "I didn't know it was that bad" she said, sitting on a seat, crying into her hands. I walked over and sat next to her.

"It's not all bad" I said, petting her mane a little. "We will help you in any way we can" I said, petting her mane more. She was moaning a little from the petting, I stopped, making her stop moaning. I realized my mistake, because she had lost it in the petting, and was now trying to get on me. "A little help?!" I asked, they came to help, but it was to late. She bit my neck.

"Oh no!" Twilight said, looking at the blood trickle down my neck. I held my hand to it, feeling the blood, my face paled. They quickly got Fluttershy out of her trance, making sure she was OK before showing her what she did.

"I'm s-so sorry Zach!" She said, hugging me while crying. I pulled out my phone, looking for the bite cure. I got to look at it for half a second, then my phone died.

"Well shit" I said, looking at the Cricket logo, just looking at how it was mocking me. I put a finger to the blood on my neck, pulling it away, looking at the crimson blood on my neck. "How did you manage the pain?" I asked, looking at her, she cocked her head sideways in confusion. "The hunger pains from not getting blood" I said, she sat there and thought for a second.

"Well, I am only half vampire, so I guess I didn't get that effect?" She said, shrugging her shoulders. I shrugged to, sticking my fingers close to her face. Almost out of pure instinct, she started licking the blood off, getting every little bit off them. The others just stared wide eyed, now knowing that their friend was a blood drinker.

"Hmm, guess you could have a little more" I said pointing at my neck, he got close to it, sniffing the blood. Then she started licking, I had to hold back the panic I was feeling. I started feeling a tingling sensation in my neck, and a pulling there to. I almost freaked out when I realized she was now sucking the blood out of me. The train carts door opened as Rarity, AJ, and Pinkie walked through. They all stopped and stared wide eyed at me.

"Uh, Fluttershy darling, what exactly are you um....doing?" Rarity asked, Fluttershy stopped for a second, then turned to face them. Blood was all over her muzzle, as I have found out, and her eyes read that of a crazed drunk.

"He's mine!" She said hissing, then she went back to my neck, biting down on it. I was now officaly freaking out. I tried pushing her off, but it didn't work. I started feeling light headed, due to all the blood she drank from me. I continued to push her, but it wasn't working.

"Damn....to.....tired" I said, feeling extremely exhausted. I looked at the others and understood why they weren't helping. They were just staring, jaws almost literally hitting the floor. Then with a thud, I fell off the seat and onto the ground. Fluttershy was about to dive at my neck again, but was held back by Rainbow and Applejack. They pulled her away, giving Twilight room to check on me. She was yelling something, but it was all blurred from blood loss. I blacked out.

Author's Note

WARNING: MY FRIEND MADE HALF THIS! Blame my friend! He's the one responsible for making me add the sex tag! Also, wasn't this just pun-ny? :trollestia:

Fun Fact: A squirrel tried ripping my throat out. I was walking home, then a squirrel came out of no where, bit a small chunk of flesh off, then ran off. I'm telling all of you, squirrels are going to kill us all, and take over the world! Squirrels awareness day, 2015

10: Hello, old friend

I was in that nightmare again, but this time, there were voices. I couldn't understand them, because they were speaking to fast for me to understand it. I kept a brave face on this time, as to keep in the dream longer, in hopes of finding a meaning behind this. Fluttershy appeared between the eyes, she opened hers, revealing her own glowing eyes. She started flying towards me, opening her mouth to reveal extra long fangs!

Wake up!

~~~~~~~~~~

I sat straight up in bed, sweat covered my forehead from the nightmare. I looked around, noticing that I was back in the same damn bed, the same damn room, and the same damn hospital from a while ago. I looked to the right, seeing Twilight and a doctor walking towards me, I started to relax. The doctor looked at me, then stopped, his knees trembling. "What?" I asked, Twilight opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to explain it. Then she levitated a mirror in front of me. My eyes widened a bit.

Two fangs poked out of my mouth a little, my eyes had a little red in them, and I was pale. "It's not that bad" Twilight said, chuckling nervously. I looked at the IV stand to my right, seeing a half empty pack of blood, and a tube leading to a needle in my arm. I felt the sudden urge to drink it, so that I may feel full.

"I'm a little thirsty" I said, grinning as I looked at the doctor. He passed out, terrified about me, and probably because he has a phobia against vamps. I started laughing like a lunatic, making Twilight face palm. With a quick slap from Twilight, I stopped laughing, and glared at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interupted when I hissed at her. I grabbed the needle in my arm, tearing it out I stood up. I slowly walked over to Twilight. Her mouth was agape, her eyes were wide with fright. She backed up into a corner, closing her eyes to accept her fate.

"Boop" I said, poking her nose. "Boop" I said again, poking her nose again. She opened her eyes, looking at the finger that was a few inches from her face. "Boop boop boop" I said, poking her nose three more times.

She pushed me over, making me land on my ass. "Don't scare me like that!" She said, flaring her wings in anger. I laughed a little, thinking about the last few minutes.

"OK fine, by the way, how long was I out for?" I asked, looking out the window. It was sunny out side, a few clouds here and there.

"You were out for 2 days" she said, I felt my face pale a little more than what it was currently at. I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that there was 13 hours before midnight. I turned around and looked Twilight in the eyes.

"I'm not going to be a vamp for the rest of my life, do you know where I could look for a cure?" I asked, Twilight stared at me for a few seconds, as if in a trance. I realized what was happening, so I looked away, making her snap back to focus.

"Well, you could try Zecora's place" she said, blushing a little, mainly because her gaze was trapped on my eyes. I grabbed the mirror from the table, looking at it, I could no longer see my reflection.

I looked back at Twilight, who was once again staring at my eyes, forcing me to look away. "Where's my clothes?" I asked, looking around. Twilight walked over to a small side table, opening a drawer to reveal my clothes, and a neatly folded coat. I pulled them out, taking off my hospital garments, completly forgetting that Twilight was in the room.

"Oh my" she said, I looked back to see her turn around, looking down I realized why. Tey took my boxers off too.

"Well shit" I said, looking back in the drawer, I saw the boxers sitting there. I grabbed them, putting them on, followed by my pants, shirt, and coat. I checked all my pockets, making sure I had everything, I turned back around. "Well lets go!" I said, walking towards the door. Twilight started following, but quickly pushed ahead so she could lead me to Zecora's place.

"So where to?" I asked as we walked out the front, she pointed towards the forest nearby.

"The Everfree Forest" she said, shivering a little. Looking back towards the forest, I noticed a little house there.

"And what should I know about this forest?" I asked, walking towards it. Twilight had to jog a little to catch up.

"Well, everything there controls itself. The plants grow wild, the weather changes on it's own, and the creatures there are wild!" She said, I just chuckled a little. "Whats so funny?" She asked.

"That sounds like Yellow Stone, where everything there does exactly as you said" I said, she went a little wide eyed. "I explained this a long time ago!" I said, she just nodded. We were at the house, and there were animals everywhere, and they were all looking at me!

"So uh, who's house is this?" I asked, looking at Twilight.

"Oh yeah, this is Fluttershy's home" she said, I walked to one of the windows, looking inside, I saw Fluttershy doing some cleaning. I turned around, walking back to Twilight.

"Alright, lets go!" I said, turning to the Everfree again. Twilight grabbed my arm when I tried walking away.

"Don't you want to say something to her? She feels really bad for what happened" she said, I looked into her eyes, thinking about it.

She hurt you! She betrayed you! She tried to murder you!

I felt pain in my head when the voice appeared, grabbing my head in pain, Twilight gave me a concerned look. "Are you alright?" She asked, I felt more pain when Twilight asked me that.

Don't trust them! Trust me! I've been with you longer! Abandon them! Kill them! Destroy them!

The pain was really intense, I was on the ground, holding my head while silently crying. Twilight had run to Fluttershy's door, thats when things got a little fuzzy.

"Hello again world"

Author's Note

Fun Fact: That's someone that only Super57 knows about, but you all get to meet him a little more in the next chapter! Also, you all might be pissed about this cliff hanger!

Just introduce me, it'll be easier! (P.S. I had to do half this work for him!)

11: Behold! Frank! The evil bastard!

Author's Note

Just pointing out, I am an evil bastard, but I like it too much!

God damnit Frank! Get out of here!

No

Fun Fact: Zachs the dumbass that let me in!

11: Behold! Frank! The evil bastard!

I stood up, but I wasn't the one in control. 'God damnit! This douchebag is back again!' I thought to myself, since it was literaly the only thing I could do. My head turned, seeing Twilight and Fluttershy running towards me.

(Breaking the fourth wall for a second here, just saying that it will be in Third Person View when I'm in control. Zach is powerless as of right now!)

The 2 mares slowed down when they neared him. "Are you OK Zach?" Twilight asked, not noticing that Fluttershy stopped a few feet behind her.

He started laughing a little, making the 2 feel weird. "Oh, this isn't Zach, please leave a message after the fist" He said, then his arm flew forward, landing a punch on her face. Fluttershy's eyes were wide with fear, as she watched Twilight fall to te ground unconcious.

She started to look angry, then she flew into his face, givin him the infamous STARE! "How dare you! How dare you hurt one of my friends?!" She yelled in his face, but he stood his ground, despite all the fear he felt.

He laughed awkwardly, then gave a stare of his own, making Fluttershy flinch a little. "You hurt him, I'm just returning the favor"
he said, his arm raising until his hand connected with her neck.

"W-why Zach?" He asked as she was lifted a little by her neck, he started laughing like a madman.

"Because I'm Frank, not Zach" he said with an evil grin, Fluttershy's face was starting to turn blue a little. "And I kill for fu-" he wasn't able to finosh his sentence, because AppleJack tackled him to the side, making Fluttershy fall to the ground, gasping for breath.

"Why would you do this Zach? We trusted you!" She yelled, Zach got off the ground, groaning as he felt a few bones pop.

"That wasn't me, that was Frank" Zach said blankly, staring at AJ.

"Who is this Frank?" She asked, getting ready to charge again.

Zach scratched his chin a bit, trying to remember what Frank told him. "Lets see, Frank is the spirit of a 27 year old, he was murdered by his girlfriend on his first date, and I let him in cause I'm a dumbass" he said, AJ and Fluttershy had surprised looks on their faces. "Need I say m-" he wasn't able to finish the sentence, because Rainbow tackled him this time.

She pinned him on the ground, while in a very weird position. "I don't believe a word you said!" She said, throwing a punch at his face. "You hurt my friends! You almost choked Fluttershy to death!" She yelled, beating the shit out of him. Frank took over again, catching her next punch with his hand, twisting it, and making her fall right on her face.

"Stop beating him up, or else I'll have to go poltergeist on your ass" he said, Rainbow came in for another punch on the bloodied up face. He side stepped, letting her catch herself, before kicking her in the head. "Good thing Zach's legs are flexible" Frank said, going in for another kick, landing it on her chest. Rainbow let out a pained scream as she was launched a few feet away. Frank listened carefully, hearing AJ comeing in for another charge, he turned, throwing a punch as he did.

AJ was stopped dead in her tracks, falling down on the ground with a broken nose. He started walking towards Rainbow, lgiving off a low, sinister laugh. "I'll tell you a stpry before you die" Frank said, putting his boot on Rainbow's head. "I was planning to murder my girlfriend on that date, but she beat me to it when she took my knife with her" he said, knowing that Rainbow had heard the first part from Zach. He started adding a little pressure, but stopped when he felt a sudden heat on his shoulder.

Looking at it, Frank saw a fire there, he patted it out with his hand. Then another fire started, only a bit bigger. He patted it out 5 more times before his entire shirt was on fire, doing what a normal person would do, he stopped, dropped, and hoped rolling would put out a magical fire. During the rolling, he saw that Twilight was up again, and her horn was glowing it's lavender color.

"YOU WIN THIS TIME!" Frank yelled, making the ground shake a little as he retreated into Zach's head. Zach took control, and felt the intense heat straight away. Freaking out, he jumped up then started running around, making himself a portable bon fire.

"PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OOOOUT!" He screamed like a little girl, and just like that, the fire was gone. He collapsed to his knees, then layed down on the ground. He flopped onto his back to look at the sky, but got a view of AJ's fist. "OW! God damn, haven't you girls hurt me enough yet?" He asked, grabbing his nose in pain.

"Yep, it's Zach again" she said, stepping aside for Twilight to talk.

"You have got some explaining to do!" She shouted, Zach was about to reply, but then he felt his fangs push against his lips, poking out of his mouth.

"Can we get rid of the vampire stuff first?" He asked, Twilight looked at his fangs, then nodded. "Tha-" he was cut off when he felt himself get picked up, then hugged.

"You're gonna be OK, OK!" He heard Pinkie say, her grip on him tightening. He took a deep breath, getting a nice good smell of the cupcakes Pinkie baked an hour ago. She giggle a little when she heard him take in her scent, then she loostened her grip. "Now lets go get your cure!" She said, letting go then marching towards the Everfree.

12: Cock-a-what-what?!

I walked into the Everfree, and for some reason, I'm just barely noticing that my clothes hadn't been burnt away. "Why didn't my clothes burn?" I asked Twilight, she looked at me with a confused look, then remembered that I was from a different world.

"Magic fire doesn't burn anything, unless I want it burned" she said, burning a nearby plant, to show me how it works. I nodded, keeping my eye on some bushes, that were rustling in the short distance. When we reached them, I decided to go look in the bush, because, well, I was curious. I was knocked over by something, I felt scales and....feathers? I tried to get up, but I lost balance and fell flat on my face.

"Are you OK Zach?" Pinkie asked, bouncing over to me.

"Didn't you guys see the....the.....thing that knocked me over?" I asked, pointing at the bush, Twilight shrugged her shoulders then walked over to it.

"Well, so far it's Gravity 5, Zach 0!" Pinkie said bouncing, I went to say something, but then Pinkie turned to stone, falling onto the ground face first.

"What the hell?!" I yelled out, looking up, I saw Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy covering their eyes, and AJ was also stone. I turned around slowly, but before I looked up, I saw the body of a dragon. Instinct took over, everything telling me to avoid it's gaze no matter what! I got down on the ground, putting my hands over my eyes, and sinking my head inside my coat. I felt something kick me lightly, and I tensed up, ready to get out of this protective shell and make a run for it. Unfortunately, it kicked me again, but with more force, and a demonic chicken laugh.

I felt myself flying through the air, I started spinning in the air, but then I smashed into a tree, and fell down. I felt myself hit a few branches, and then the ground. "Oh my god!" I yelled out in pain, mainly cause there was a god damned stick in my leg. "When did this become an action movie? I don't remember anything this exciting in my life!" I yelled out, standing up.

"A 2 leg beast, has interrupted my feast!" I heard someone say in rhythmic form, looking down, I saw a zebra.

"Guess they exist too" I said, looking back the way I flew from, I saw a dragon with the head of a chicken chasing Rarity and Rainbow. "What is that thing and why does it act like Medusa the gorgon?" I asked, she looked over as Rarity was turned to stone, and Fluttershy fleeing her cover.

"A cockatrice, to end the nice" he said, in that rhythmic language of hers.

"A cock a what what?" I asked, looking back at the zebra, who was now next to me.

"No time to explain, for there will none to save" she said, running towards it while pulling a potion out.

"Well my mom taught me to not run at cocks, so I'll just hide over here" I said, walking towards a bush. I heard some growling, so I just turned straight around, and started heading towards the dragon, now named cock a what what by me. The zebra was running around it, keeping it's eyes of hers, while she was adding a few things to her potion. Unfortunately, 1 tiny stick is loud enough to catch it's attention.

"Aw shit" I said, looking at it's body and not it's eyes. It started flying towards me, and instinct took over. "HOLYSHITDON'THURTMEI'MJUSTALITTLEKIDSORTA!" I yelled, turning on the dime and running towards what looked like a house inside a tree. I was almost to it, before my old foe decided to strike again. My foot caught on a tree root, and then gravity did it's work, and made me land on top of a rock.

"What are you doing?!" I heard Fluttershy yell from above.

"Mfmfmmmf" I tried responding through the ground, but instead of 'checking for a new bed' it came out muffled. Sadly.

"What would your mother think?! This is the second time I've caught you doing this!" She yelled again, this time I felt greatly confused.

Lifting my head up, she was right above me, luckily she was wearing some jeans. Her legs were slowly turning to stone, but they instantly turned back to their natural fleshy-ness. I looked behind me, seeing an extremely scared cock-a-what-what shivering in Fluttershy's gaze. It turned around, running off towards the others, and I saw some magic light flashing happen over there.

Rarity, AJ, Pinkie, Twilight, and RD were walking towards us. "Thanks Fluttershy" Twilight said, stopping in front of us.

"Well, he knows better, but he just can't handle it" she said, looking at the cock-a-what-what as it flew away.

"It's alright darling, you'll eventually tame him, then he won't turn us to stone anymore" Rarity said, fixing her hair.

"It was not only the shy one, it was the one of two" the strange rhythmic zebra said, walking up behind us and scaring the shit out of me. "If not for him, then there would be no win" she said, pointing at me, making all their gazes turn towards me.

"What?" I asked, they started laughing a bit, then calmed down.

"So Zecora, could you tell us how to cancel vamponyism? Or more correctly, vampirism?" Twilight asked, pointing at me and Fluttershy. The now named Zecora nodded her head, and motioned for us to follow. I lingered behind a little, taking in the weirdness of this forest, thinking about Yellowstone for some reason.

'You'll know it soon enough' I heard Frank say from the inside, making me feel uncomfortable.

"Hurry up slowpoke!" I heard Rainbow say, I sped up a little to catch up with them.

"I'll have you know, I am not a pokemon" I said, making Rainbow land, and give me a confused look.

"Pokemon?" She asked, I reached into my pocket. Sadly, my Gameboy was still on Earth, in my footlocker, probably rotting away with a bunch of garbage.

"I would show you, but my Gameboy is still on Earth, even though I swear it was in my pocket today...." I said, thinking about it for a second.

~~~~~MEANWHILE~~~~~

"Yes! Finally! I got a copy of the yellow version!" Button Mash yelled out triumphantly, staring at the cartridge in his hand. "Wonder who dropped it....oh well! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" He said, walking into his house.

~~~~~Back to Zach!~~~~~

I walked into the tree house I saw earlier, now learning that it was Zecora's house. "Let's see....my witch doctor had a mask like that, and my barbarian had a sword like that, and my wizard had spells that look like those paintings" I said, thinking about my Diablo 3 characters, knowing I would never see them again.

"What are you talking about?" Rarity asked, looking at the stuff I had pointed at. "Are you saying that magic and weird artifacts exist in your world?" She asked again, I thought about it for a second.

"Well, magic does exist, but we call it 'science' when it is just magic. They thought they could hide that knowledge from me!" I said, shaking my fist in the air. I brought it back down, laughing a little, but I stopped when they all just stared at me, confused for the most part. "That's out of the way, so why don't we find a way to get rid of this" I said, pointing to the fangs that we now longer.

Zecora nodded, then headed over to a book shelf, containing many books on remedies and medicine, potions and poisons, witchcraft and spell craft. She pulled out a book on mythical creatures, flipping through the pages, until she came to the page labeled 'vampony'. "To stop the undead, they need, a bed, some sand, and a special band" she said, pointing to the objects on the list. "The sand must be pure, and clearer then her" she said, pointing to the vampony on the page, her name being 'the sucker', known for sucking 306 ponies clear of blood.

"What about the bed and special band?" Twilight asked, Zecora headed over to a shelf, grabbing a band off the bottom shelf. It was a hairband, but it had some words on it, reading: 'To banish the dark, that hides in the soul, and to cleanse those, with the curse of the bite'.

"So it will make me good again?" I asked, she nodded her head, then grabbed some of my long hair, and put the band in, giving me a pony tail.

"And as for the bed, it can be many, but for this case, it has to be this bed" she said, pulling out an orb with mist inside it. The mist started shaping and forming, then a bed appeared, showing that the bed had green sheets, and butterfly shaped pillows.

"That's my bed" Fluttershy said, a blush forming on her face.

"Only the bed of the one who infected the victim, can be to one that will stop it's magic" she said, then she grabbed a map off the wall. "The sand will be found here, and is only available, once a year" she said, pointing at a pond on the map named, 'the crystal pond'.

"That would be today!" Twilight said, pointing at a calender on the wall. The current date read: February 15, 2015.

"Oh, so the pony worlds time is almost exact with human time" I said, remembering that the date on Earth was the 18th.

"I guess so, but we have to hurry! The magic at the pond will vanish in a few hours!" She said, pointing at a clock on the wall. "Fluttershy, get the bed ready, AJ and Rainbow, get to the pond as quickly as possible! As soon as you collect the sand, the magic should stay inside it" she quickly told them, RD and AJ quickly ran out, heading in the direction of the pond.

"What about us?" Pinkie asked, standing next to Rarity.

"Well, you could prepare a party for him, and I don't think he would mind getting some new clothes" Fluttershy said, while looking at the mustard stains on the back of my shirt. "How did you even get stuff on the back of your shirt?" She asked, poking it.

"Uh, got thrown onto someones hamburger during lunch, didn't expect someone so small to lift so much" I said, laughing a little. Fluttershy stared at me wide eyed.

"You eat foods from the Griffin Empire?!" She exclaimed, paling a little.

"Uh yeah, don't you gals al- OH YEAH! I forget, you all eat plants and other stuff, forgive me. Yes I eat meat and yes it's my favorite" I said, Rarity dashed out the door quickly, I could hear her puking all over the ground outside.

"Oh my" Twilight said, backing away from me a little.

"I think I'll just head back to Fluttershy's place now" I said, and just before I stepped outside, my stomach made the dying whale sound. "Shit"

Author's Note

HUZZAH! All the cock jokes! I'll stop now, I promise!

He's lieing.

God damn you!

Fun Fact: I was planning on having my brother and his friend in it, but I knew they would beat the shit out of me. That's why they had a small description in the very first chapter.

Also, sorry for all the grammar errors, I haven't been able to access a school computer, or any computer for that matter. So, I haven't been able to fix it. SORRY!

13: A normal day at Fluttershy's place. I think....

I walked through the Everfree, feeling extremely empty on the inside, as I walked towards Fluttershy's house. I saw it's little hill as I got closer, thinking about what was going to happen. "No meat from now on, great" I said to no one in particular.

"Oh how terrible that must be" I heard a voice say, it sounded like it came from everywhere, all at once. "Don't bother looking for me, I know the situation your I'm, but I'll reveal myself to you tomorrow at mid day" the voice said again, and then it started laughing, slowly fading away.

"Well that happened, so I'll pretend it didn't happen" I said, quickly jogging to the little house. It reminded me of a hobbit's home, Bilbo's to be exact. I started laughing a little, imagining if there was a hobbit on the other side of the door, waiting to great me in for second lunch. I looked at the sun, and seeing how it was going to hit the horizon soon, I guessed that it was late in the afternoon, obviously.

I turned back to the door, then opened it. I was greeted with animals, a lot of animals. Birds, mice, turtles, a cat, and a bunny that just stared at me with an evil glare. "Scootaloo! Ya scared them away again!" I heard a young feminine voice say with a southern accent.

"Sorry, I thought they were all calmed down by now" I heard another young voice say, also feminine.

"Well why don't we go catch them!" I heard a third young high pitched girl say.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ANIMAL HERDERS!" I heard all three of them say, and right in that instant, I knew I would hear screaming. Three little ones came barreling down the stairs, one was white with what I would like to call pink and purple. Another was orange with a purple mane, and the final one was yellow with red hair with a matching bow. They stopped when they saw me, and just stared with curiosity and fear.

"Hi?" I said, waving my hand, making one fall over, then another, then the last one. "Shit..." I said, then I heard someone walking up from behind. I turned around to see AJ running towards me, a bucket full of the sand in her hand. RD flew in from above, landing right in front of me.

"I see your here already, but where are the others?" She asked, looking around, trying to find the others.

"Uh, let's see....Rarity is making some new clothes for me cause of all the mustard stains on my back, Pinkie's planning a party, and I made it here before Fluttershy and Twilight" I said, showing the gals the back of my shirt. I turned slightly giving them the view behind me, where the 3 girls had passed out.

Applejack's eyes went wide when she saw them, then she tackled me to the ground, leaving a tipped bucket in her wake. "What did ya do to mah sister and her friends?!" She asked, pinning my arms to the ground, while my head was forced onto the door frame, leaving my head in pain.

"Nothing! I swear I did nothing!" I said quickly, she stared at me for another second, then got off me and helped me up.

"I believe ya" she said, putting her stetson back into place. She looked at the bucket that had fallen over, so did I. The sand was glowing with magic, as it lay on the ground, making it look like some city lights that ants would use.

"Great, now we have to get more sand!" Rainbow said, making the orange one awake from the floor.

"Rainbow Dash?! What are you doing here?" She asked, getting up off the ground. She looked at me, then took a step back.

"It's alright Scoot's, this is Zach the human, and if he hurts you in any way, I'll break him" Rainbow said as 'Scoots' walked over to her, keeping her eyes on me the entire time.

"What's with all you ponies and just staring at me?" I asked, making 'Scoots' look away. "Well, I guess it's only natural when you see something new" I said, then I extended my arm towards her. "Names Zach" She grabbed my hand, and squished it a little, mainly cause I didn't use my hands for much.

"S-scootaloo" she said, giving my hand a light shake, but made a firm one when she got a boost of courage when she looked at Rainbow, who was hovering above her. I felt something touch my back, making me look back to see the other two, who probably woke up while I was meeting Scootaloo.

"Uh, hi Zach, my names Applebloom!" Applebloom said with determined courage, she extended a hand for a shake, which I did.

"And I'm Sweetie Belle!" Sweetie Belle said, also extending her arm. After meeting them, I stood up, looking back, I saw Fluttershy emerge from the forest.

"Oh, I see that my animals are out again, but thanks for watching them girls" she said to the little ones, they all nodded, then ran off towards Ponyville. "Zach, may I have a word with you?" She asked, motioning towards her door. I nodded, then followed her in.

"What's it you wanted to talk about?" I asked, sitting on a couch she had in her front room.

She sighed, then started explaining. "You know those things you talked about, that you read about on your phone?" She asked, I thought back to it.

"Yea?" I asked, she sighed again, a blush forming on her face.

"The reason your pants were unzipped was because of me" she said, closing her eyes, awaiting the yells that I almost yelled out. I calmed myself down, then focused on her.

"Your not saying you did what I think you did. Right?" I asked, she raised a little then nodded. "Oh my god" I said, she looked out the window, seeing that the sun had set, and that the moon was rising.

Rainbow came through the door, bucket in tow. "If we're going to do this, Zach has to be in your bed. NOW!" She said, tossing the bucket to me, and all the sand stayed in it.

"Well then, rushing us along then, eh?" I said, Rainbow blushed, and Fluttershy's intensified.

"You know damn well what I mean! Now go de-vamp yourself!" She said, slamming the door as she left. I shrugged my shoulders, then started for the stairs, since all master bedrooms are upstairs if there are stairs. I opened the first door on my right, and sure enough, there it was, the bed I had to sleep in.

"Wait!" I heard Fluttershy say from behind, I turned around, seeing that she was a vampony again, I took a step back. "Would it be alright if I um....cuddled with you tonight?" She asked, I was about to respond, but stopped myself for a second.

"You won't do any of that again, right?" I asked, she blushed a little, then nodded. "Then I trust you" I said, her face turned to that of 'surprised shitless'.

"You trust me? Just like that?" she asked, I thought about it for a second.

"First off, you never intended to hurt me. Second off, I like the color of your eyes" I said, causing her to blush again.

"Well, let's get this done before it's to late" she said, I nodded, then held the door open for her. She walked over to her bead, then laid down. I grabbed the bucket real quick, then headed to her bed, where I dumped it all over the side I was sleeping on.

"This feels kinda weird, but, I can handle it" I said, laying down on the sand. I shuffled around for a bit, then when I felt comfortable, I stayed still, then I felt the magic start flowing through me. We lay in silence for a bit, laying on the different sides of the bed, enjoying the silence. Then I felt her scoot towards me, then her arm came across my chest.

"This feels....nice" she said, I mumbled in agreement, as I felt her get a little closer. "I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?" She asked again.

"No no, it's alright" I said, he gave off a sigh of relief, then I put an arm on her. "To be honest, I'm a little terrified" I said, she brought her head up, a confused look was on her face.

"Why is that?" She asked, sitting on the bed.

"What if this doesn't work?" I asked, she thought about it for a second.

"And what if it does?" She asked, I was about to respond, but stopped myself, because she was right. "Um, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask a few questions" she said, then I started thinking about it.

"Fire away" I said, her face glew a little from joy.

"Alright, first question, how old are you?" She asked, then I thought back to the time I've been here, and I had completely forgotten to tell all of them my age!

"I forgot about that, let's see....14" I said, a small blush formed on her face.

"Oh my, I didn't know that! You look so much older though" she said, considering the fact that I'm taller then other teens my age.

"It's alright, everyone in my school would love to hear about what happened here" I said, her blush intensified again.

"M-maybe that's enough on that question" she said, she calmed herself, then continued. "Question two, how did you get here?" She asked, I thought back to the purple orb in my front room, then it hit me.

"Oh my god, it was magic that brought me here!" I said, an I swear I could hear that voice laughing again. "How can I have been this stupid!" I said, sitting up, only to be forced back down by Fluttershy.

"Why didn't any of us think of that?" She said, making me relax on the bed, on the sand. "Why don't you just sleep now, I won't be able to for a while" she said, scooting a little closer, but keeping a little bit of distance.

"Good, I won't be able to sleep till 2 AM" I said, she looked me in the eyes.

"But you have to, or else the magic won't work!" She said, a little bit of worry in her voice. "Please?" She asked, I sighed, then closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

"By the way, had anyone told you your eyes look beautiful at midnight?" I asked, cracking my eye open a little, I could see the blush on her face. Then, I drifted off to sleep, to awake in the morning.

Author's Note

HUZZAH! That was the last HUZZAH! (Or was it?) But still, new chapter! Got hold of a school computer (and a teacher had totally gave me permission) so I fixed the errors here, and in the last chapter! Hope you are all still enjoying this, and hopefully I get a few more lovins here!

Fun Fact: In the Bats episode, I couldn't take my eyes off Flutterbat's eyes, their just so cute!

14: Return of the moon butt: full moon edition!

I was in the dream realm again, the eyes were really far in the distance. "You will understand them soon enough" I heard a voice say from behind, turning around, I saw the red figure again.

"Hello Frank, what do you want?" I asked, he stepped forward, stopping a few inches from my face.

"Control over your body of course, what else would I want? Money? Women? Fame?! I will get none of that in here! Unless you give me control, then I can have what I please" he said, before I could respond, a light pierced the darkness around us, spearing Frank in the back. "Damn you!" He yelled, before dissipating into a red mist, as he made the rest of the blackness dissapear.

"Looks like I made it in time" Luna said, walking towards me from my left. She was wearing a midnight blue dress this time, it swayed in some magical wind like her hair. "Any second later, and you probably would've lost control" she said, concern in her voice. She stopped next to me, I turned towards her.

"What do you mean?" I asked, then Luna started to explain.

"You see, that red figure that is called 'Frank', wants control of you. If I hadn't been listening in on your dream, then he would've tricked you, and taken control of your body whilst you sleep" she explained, making me feel a little uncomfortable.

"Frank has had a million chances to do that before, and if he is able to do that, then why didn't he?" I asked, Luna looked in the direction that Frank's darkness had fled to.

"Because he cares" she said, I looked at her in confusion, and when she looked back and saw it, she frowned. "I sense something deep within you Zach, and it's something I had experienced before" she said, only making me more confused.

"Well, I guess I'll find out what you mean soon enough" I said, shrugging my shoulders a little. "But since I'm here again, let the craziness begin with BONUS DUCKS!" I yelled, then a bunch of rubber ducks started appearing. Luna looked at them, then made a face of uncertainty as she poked one, then they all started quacking, scaring Luna and making her jump back.

She just looked at all the ducks, as they all quacked like crazy. I waved my hand, making more ducks stack on top of the others. "Too many ducks!" Luna yelled, flying up to avoid the ducks, which were now stacked 15 times. I stood there, an evil grin on my face as more ducks appeared, slowly catching up to Luna as she tried to fly away. The ducks caught up to her, then started appearing on her, making her wings stop from surprise, making her sink into the sea of ducks.

"Disperse!" I yelled, making the ducks dissapear, leaving a pillar of ducks as they started lowering Luna, as to keep her from falling. When they finally reached ground level, Luna stood up, and got the second to last duck out of her hair.

"What was with all the d-ducks?" She asked, looking completely surprised. I thought back to it, then remembered.

"People at school kept yelling bonus ducks, then threw rubber ducks at each other" I said, making her laugh a little. She went to take a step forward, but stepped on the last duck, making her fall backwards. Unfortunately, her dress flew upwards, revealing the thong she was wearing. "Oh my god!" I yelled covering my eyes as I heard her hit the ground. "I have expierienced a full lunar moon!" I yelled, smacking my head as I tried to forget the blackness from below.

Luna stood up, a deep crimson blush on her face. "I- uh- you weren't- damn it" she said, trying to explain why she was wearing a thong. She sighed in defeat, then looked at me. "I was wearing one, cause I lost a bet, and I had to visit a very rude stallion in his dreams. Let's just say that the dream scape was bumpy for him tonight" she said, her blush spreading across her face like a wild fire.

"Well, he's one lucky bastard then" I said, summoning an orange soda, popping it open and taking a drink. "You ponies know what soda is, right?" I asked, bringing up a grape soda for Luna. She grabbed it, looking it over, she made a humming sound with her throat as she thought.

"We do have soda, but it's a new thing, and it hasn't really caught on yet" she said, popping it open and taking a drink. "Hmm, this is much better then ours" she said, taking another sip.

"Humans have perfected it back home" I said, crunching the can, since I had finished in one go. She stared at me wide eyed as I brought up another orange, then downed it in one gulp.

"How can you stand the fizzy feeling so well?" She asked, I scratched my chin.

"I drink a soda every time it's offered, so I've had practice with it" I said, making a couch appear behind me as I sat down. "So, anything you wanna do here?" I asked, looking around the vast, empty white space.

"Depends, what do you want to do?" She asked, sitting next to me.

"I wanna find a more comfortable place to relax" I said, trying to relax on the couch, but just couldn't find a comfortable place. I looked at Luna, who was giggling a little at my little comfort dance, which wasn't working. I sighed in defeat as I just sat there, Luna still giggling a bit, then I had an idea.

"Found it!" I said, laying down on her lap, instantly making her go quiet. I lay there, grinning as her blush came back. Luna stared at me for another second, then relaxed a bit as I lay there.

"This....feels good" she said, I looked at her mane, then thought for a bit.

"Can I pet your mane?" I asked, which seemed to catch her off guard. She looked at her mane, then me, then the mane again, then finally stopping on me.

"I.....fine" she said, lowering her head a little, making it to where I could reach it. I put my hand up, putting my hand into it, I instantly felt a magical force. I ignored it, then started running my hand through it, making her moan a bit. After a little bit of me doing this, I lowered my arm because I git tired of holding it up.

Luna sat back up, as I sat back up ti my previous position next to her. "It is almost day, and from what I understand, you need to wake up now" she said, then tapped me on the forehead. I felt like water, then everything faded as I started waking up.

Author's Note

BONUS DUCKS! I'll stop with the ducks now, I half promise. Anyways, hope you all enjoy, and note this, Frank will appear more frequently in coming chapters.

Fun Fact: I got knocked out by a rubber duck at school when they yelled bonus ducks, and it surprised the hell out of me when I found out!

16: SURPISE! Now that'll be 100 bits

I awoke from the knock out session, my head pounding. "Oh god, why the headaches?" I asked no one in particular, then I heard the door open to the right. This is when I noticed I was in the hospital again, same room same bed blah blah blah!

"Oh, you're awake" Twilight said, walking over to me. "Are you done with all the sarcasm from earlier?" She asked me, I quickly thought of something.

"But Twilight, I do this with all my friends!" I said, earning a little surprised look from her.

"You consider me a friend?" She asked, I nodded my head, even though there was no smile on my face, I was happy.

"Yep, just how my I'm friends with: Chris, Chris number two, Chris number three, Parker, Jaeden, Jaeden number two, Thomas, Thomas two, Richard, Tim, Victor, Connor, Nick, Nickolai, and Hannah!" I said, Twilight counted them up, then looked at me.

"But if you say that humans are greedy and mostly keep to themselves, then how do you have that many friends?" She asked me, I chuckled a little, still no smile though.

"I'm pretty sure I can have that many friends when there are over seven BILLION humans on Earth!" I said said, Twilight looked surprised beyond belief. Then a sad thought came to mind. "Seven billion, and the perfect one is gone" I said out loud, gaining a curious look from Twilight.

"What do you mean?" She asked, sitting on a chair that was next to the bed.

"That's for a different time when the others are here, maybe even with Celestia" I said, getting out of the bed. I opened the drawers where my clothes were, and thankfully they left my boxers on. "What time is it?" I asked, looking around for a clock.

"It's been thirty four hours since I knocked you out" Twilight said, I stiffened up then looked at her.

"You have got to stop knocking me out!" I said, then started getting dressed back into my clothes. Twilight giggled, then nodded her head.

"Also, you 'house' has been built" she said, walking towards the door. I quickly ran over to her.

"That fast?! How?!" I asked, she rolled her eyes then kept walking.

"Magic" she said, then stopped talking to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were walking towards my 'house', the sun almost gone over the horizon. Then I saw it, and was extremely dissapointed. It was big enough for at least four rooms, the only windows there were small and probably offered no light, even though I like the dark, I need light at some point.

"Race you in!" Twilight said, running to the door, flinging it open then slamming it shut behind her. I shrugged it off as nothing, then walked up to the door. The door was also pink. Hot. Pink. I opened the said pink door, only to be met with utter darkness.

"Twilight?" I asked the darkness, no reply, so I walked in. "Are there any lights in here?" I asked out loud, feeling along the wall, I found a light switch.

I flicked it up, then almost died from a heart attack. "SURPRISE!!!" I heard a crowd yell, I jumped back, smashed into the wall, then fell to the ground.

"Holy shit! Gave me a damn heart attack!" I said to myself, as to not freak out the ponies. I heard a few murmurs from the crowd.

"That's not a pony"

"What is that hideous thing?"

"Why's it so fat?"

I heard some of them say, I stood up, then looked into the crowd. They all gave me weird looks, except Twilight and her friends.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!" Pinkie yelled, jumping in front of them all, then pulling a cannon from behind her.

"Wha-" I tried asking, then I heard a pop noise, then all I saw was confetti. I could hear them all laughing at the sudden blast from the cannon, and how it covered me from head to toe in confetti. I got it out of my eyes, then looked around to see that they had all spread out around the house, and were dancing to......dubstep?

I decided to walk around and meet some of the ponies, since it was my party, I might as well be involved. Normally I'd bum out in a corner and play on my phone at parties, but my phone was dead, and this one was actually rocking it! I walked up to a mint green unicorn mate and a yellow mare with two colors in her mane and tail.

The green on turned around, seeing me, she seemed to get extremely excited. "Bon Bon! The human came to meet us!" She said, shaking her friend with excitement. The now named Bom Bon stood there as she was shaken around, then stopped her.

"Alright Lyra, you win, here's the bits you won" she said, pulling out some gold coins and handing them to her. They both looked at me then walked a little closer.

"Hi, see you two made a bet on me" I said, Lyra got a little giddy when she heard me speak. "So what was the bet based on?" I asked them, Bon Bon sighed.

"It was actually two bets, the first was if humans existed or not, the second was if you would come to meet us or not" she explained, a slight frown on her face. "And you are not the humans Lyra talks about....oh my bad, introductions should be in order" she said, face palming while Lyra seemed to get a bit more excited. "Bon Bon's the name and candy is my trade" she said, extending her arm then shaking my hand.

"And my names Lyra!" Lyra said, shooting her arm out, shaking my hand with enough force to throw me off balance. She let go all the sudden, leaving me to catch myself before falling down. "Oops, sorry" she said, her cheeks a light red from embarrassment.

"It's all right, besides, it was an accident" I said, scratching my head a little. "Names Zach, and games are my trade" I said, copying Bon Bon a bit, then shaking both there hands again. "Now, anything you two wanna know about me?" I asked, and instantly regretted it at the same time.

"What's your most embarrassing moment?" Lyra blurted out, the memory flooded in so fast, I felt my entire face turn red. I stood there, as still as a post, my face burning from the memory. "I think I broke him" I heard Lyra say, but I just stood there, the image dancing in my mind.

"Nope, not telling you that, no way no how" I said, Lyra made a saw 'aaw' sound, then moved onto her next question.

"Fine, do you have a mare friend?" She asked, I scratched my head a bit, wondering what she meant. "Oh yeah, human language is different, I meant GIRLfriend" she said, then all the sad memories returned.

"She's just asking all the wrong questions" I heard Frank say in my mind, then I realized that Lyra and Bon Bon were trying to communicate with me. I decided to shake my head a bit, then returned to the conversation.

"Don't want to answer that, but I'm single for that reason" I said, Lyra perked up a bit, and Bon Bon gave me a look that screamed you shouldn't have done that type of look. 'What did I do wrong?' I asked myself, then realized it when Lyra got a little closer.

"Can I date you?" She asked, her eyes gleaming a bit. I felt oblivious on the inside, because I didn't want to say no to her, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to date any one. Then a thought came to mind, and made me realize why she wanted to date. I was as tall as all of them, but I certainly was younger.

"Depends, what's the normal dating age here?" I asked, then Bon Bon just shook her head, signifying that I had screwed up. Again.

"Normally ponies start dating around fifteen or fourteen....wait, how old are you?" She asked, giving me a question I could actually answer.

"Fourteen moving on fifteen in a month, May fifth to be exact" I said, her eyes widened a bit, then she started looking a bit sad. "How old are you?" I asked, Bon Bon once again gave the You should not have done that! look, and once again, I felt like a dumbass.

"Eighteen...." She said, noticing a huge age difference, she pretty much just backed off. "There will never be a chance for me to date a human" she said, defeat obvious in her voice. She looked like she was about to cry, but I intervened real quick.

"Don't give up hope yet Lyra, maybe you could create a portal or something and go to Earth! Then you could find a human that would want to date you!" I said, she instantly brightened up, then hugged me.

"I never thought of that! Thank you Zach!" She said, tightening the hug. I noticed Bon Bon giving me a thumbs up, I returned it the best I could with Lyra hugging me. *CLICK*

I looked behind me, where a little white Pegasus was holding a camera, and I instantly knew that he took a picture of us hugging. "He'll ruin you! Take him out" Frank said from inside my head, bt I didn't do anything, mainly because I didn't care.

'Maybe he just wanted to take a picture of me, so he could show his mom that he saw the human at the party' I thought, chuckling a bit.

"Hey, you the stallion I built this house for?" I heard someone ask, Lyra let go, then I looked right. A brown stallion was standing there, a hard hat on, and a stubby beard.

"Yeah" I said, now standing a bit closer to him.

"Yeah, I know I did this under the princess' orders and all, but I still need some pay, and I need it from you in a few weeks" he said, I nodded my head understandingly.

"And that would be?" I asked, he pulled out a paper, then cleared his voice.

"One hundred bits" he said, looking at me. I didn't even pull a surprised face, mainly because I had no idea what a bit was!

"What's a bit?" I said, then I heard some one spit out their drink from surprise. Then a grey mare walked over, her eyes were golden but criss crossed, and wings rested on her back. I felt a disturbance in the force all the sudden.

"This is a bit silly" she said, pulling out a solid gold coin, the size of a fifty cent coin back home. My jaw almost literally hit the ground, both because she was cute, and how overly priced these four rooms were.

"I have to work now?" I mumbled out, then they nodded, and wandered off to enjoy the rest of the party. "Shit, I hate work more then my annoying neighbors" I said, then mindlessly went off to enjoy the party.

Author's Note

Bleep bloop blop! New chapter, thanks Super57s for proof reading this giant piece of work!

Also, 16 chapters and you went over 20,000 words!

Really?! That's more then some other stories! Also, this obviously came out after my blog post that describes that I will be making some clopfics :P. I wanted this out before that XD. Oh well!
Fun Fact: I absolutely HATE doing work! I would rather become a raging sumo then work! Which means get really fat....I'M NOT FAT! I'M FLUFFY!

17: A map? An angry guard? ADVENTURE!?

I awoke, no memory of what happened last night. I felt a draft, looking down, I saw that everything I was wearing was gone, besides my boxers. "What happened?" I asked myself, then I heard snoring all around. Looking around, I noticed I was in what looked to be a bedroom, bed, dresser, and a lamp. Seeing that there were ponies passed out all around, some on top of another, some naked, and some naked on top of eachother.

"You were the life of the party, that's what happened!" I heard a happy voice say. Turning, I saw Pinkie at the end of the bed I was on, in her pink underwear.

"Why are you in your underwear?! Where are your clothes?!" I asked, she giggled then crawled towards me a bit.

"Silly, you tore them off last night when you got drunk!" She said, I instantly realized what happened. The cider that Applejack had brought was alcoholic.

"Oh god no! We didn't do the do did we?!" I asked, terrified that I might have screwed up massively.

"Nope, I'm keeping it T-rates for the audience!" She said cheerfully, I made a weird face, as to express that I had now idea what the hell she was talking about. "Here's a megaphone, just yell 'go home for that!' into it and every pony will leave!" She said, pulling a megaphone out of her mane and handing it to me. "Don't ask, it happens at all my parties!" She said, then pulled out some soundproof earmuffs. Shrugging my shoulders, I did as she told me.

"GO HOME FOR THAT!" I yelled into the megaphone, every single pony shot up, shuffled around for their clothes, got dressed, then ran home. The ones that were still dressed from last night were long gone. I heard a little bit of shuffling to my right, looking that way, I saw Pinkie digging through a bag. After another second of shuffling through it, she pulled out my clothes and hers.

"I'd hurry if I were you, Twilight needs us at the castle for something!" She said, hopping into her clothes. Literaly. "Besides, it might be something fun!" She said, then jumped out the semi small window in the room, dissapearing into the outside world. I just sighed, put my pants on, put my shirt on, put my coat on, and put my.....hoodie?

I stared at the pink hoodie in confusion, thinking about why Pinkie gave it to me. Flipping it over, I saw a not attached to the back of it, so I decided to read it.

"Dear Zach, Pinkie here! Just wanted to write this down for you real quick, as to give you a sense as to why I gave this to you. I had completly spaced on getting you something for your party last night! I felt so bad about not getting you one, that I asked Twilight for any quick ideas! She replied with bloody and violent stuff, since you told her you like that stuff. I didn't want to do anything like that, so I asked her to read your mind as to find your favorite color! After she did that, she said that she saw pink as the first color.....that's when you ripped my clothes off by the way. So when I was shuffling through my bag, I saw this hoodie, and decided to give it to you. Love, Pinkie!"

I felt really weird reading it, mainly because she put in how I ripped her clothes off. "Wait, did that say love Pinkie at the end?" I asked myself, going back to it, I confirmed that it did. "Damn, didn't know she felt that way" I said, then went back to looking at the pink hoodie she gave me. "Might as well" I told myself, then took my coat off and replaced it with the hoodie. It felt good on the inside, almost as if it was made of fur! Then I felt a tag rub against the back of my neck, pulling said tag forward, I read it.

"Made from genuine Fluffle fur?" I asked myself, what was Fluffle fur? I shrugged it off, got out of the bed, put my shoes on, then headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked towards the castle, and noticed a certain guard standing at the doors. He recognized me to, as an angry face started forming, and he started running at me. "YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!" He yelled,then raised his fist as he got closer. I stopped where I was, put a grin on my face, then put myself in a defensive stance. He grinned as he was about to punch me, but I moved out of the way at the last second, catching him off guard.

"You have failed" I said, bringing my elbow down on him, forcing him to the ground. I heard a pained groan from him, then he tried standing back up. "Stay down, you'll ony hurt yourself more with what I've done" I said, thinking back to middle school, when I had almost crippled someone using the same move.

"I'm tougher then you think!" He said, throwing his arm out, knocking me off my feet. I heard laughter from him as I hit the ground, then I did the next big thing.

"TWILIGHT! YOUR GUARD IS BEATING ME UP!" I yelled, but it didn't work, as they didn't hear me from inside. But a bunch of other ponies heard me from nearby cottages, as they all came out to see me on the ground with a guard above me.

"Flash Sentry! What are you doing to an innocent citizen!" A loud commanding voice said. The now named Flash stood at attention, anger in his eyes. "I gave you to my sister as a gift, not for you to take your anger out on civiliens you have a grudge against!" The voice said again, rolling over, I saw a white unicorn stallion in purple armor. My guess is that he's the general.

"Sorry General Armor sir!" Flash yelled, still at attention, while also confirming that the new guy was the general.

"Good, now do fifty laps around the castle!" General Armor yelled, Flash mumbled something, then started running his course. I got up, brushed the dirt off my new hoodie. Looking up, the General was now a few feet away from me. "Sorry about him, he's always been one of the worst guards" he explained, then stuck his hand out. "Names Shining Armor, general of all guards in Equestria" he said.

"Zach, only human here, and commander of a small village in a virtual game" I introduced, then shook his hand respectively. He gave me a confused look, then his face read that of recognistion.

"So your the human that Twilight is calling for!" He said, laughing a bit. "I'd hurry if I were you, she's getting a bit impatient with you" he said, and evil grin on his face. It scared the living shit out of me, so I ran towards the castle as fast as possible, shooting a quick goodbye behind me. Going through the door, I found myself inside a room with six big chairs and a tiny one.

Suddenly, a giant map started growing in the middle of all the chairs, swirling out as it did. This is when I realized that the girls were in the chairs, freaking out slash being amazed by it. When it was done, it looked like a 3D version of a map of Equestria. "Hi mom and dad!" I heard Pinkie say, looking over, I saw her up close to a farm of.....rocks? That was on the map, then a tiny dragon stomped down on it, and Pinkie's face instantly became sad as her eyes filled with tears.

I heard them say some things, but I just zoned out as I leaned on Rarity's chair. I heard a few fragments of their talk, but it didn't sound extremly important, so I just stood there, thinking about my own things. I thought about why a map had suddenly appeared, I thought about why my phone was still in my coat pocket, I thought about a dog walking on it's front legs, and I thought about that one squirrel that literaly waved to me a few years back. "Zach, when did you get here?" I heard one of them ask, so I came back down to Equestria.

"Depends on how long I was zoned out" I said, now paying attention the area around me.

"Well, as you probably heard, we're going to this place on the map" Twilight said, pointing to where a bunch of magical floating things were hovering over a certain part of the map.

"Alright, by the way, I didn't know dragons existed here" I said, pointing to the purple and green dragon, who was now sitting in the tiny chair. "Wait, if dragons exist, then so does the power of shout!" I said, running around the map until I was next to him. "FOS RO DAH!" I yelled, but nothing happened, besides hearing Fluttershy quickly hide behind something, the dragon having a surprised look on his face, and Twilight floating next to me with an angry expression.

"That's Spike, now leave him alone so we can get going" she said, turning around as to fly to the door, but giving me a clear look up her dress.

"You all need to stop exposing yourselves to me, it's weird" I said, Twilight instantly landed on the map, as to keep me from staring any longer. She turned around, her horn glowing. "Oh shi-" she knocked me out! Again!

Author's Note

Here's another chapter! Enjoy it, as it is one of the last seven chapters that remain to be seen. Yes, last seven chapters. That's right, it's coming to a close soon, so be prepared every one! But yea, season five is in this now! Fudge yea mothercooker! That is all, just hope you enjoy!

Wait, we forgot the fun facts!

Fun Fact: Pinkie is my second favorite! And now, I don't have a pink hoodie, it was just something Pinkie would give to some one like me -_-

18: The town named Our Town

I awoke from my sleep, on a train, with a pounding headache. Hearing some one talking nearby, I sat up and looked that way. The girls were all talking, mainly about where the map was taking them, and why it was taking them. Twilight looked over at me, and her face became red instantly.

"Oh hey Zach, sorry about earlier. Again." She said, giving a sheepish smile as to ensure she was sorry.

"It's alright, just stop using that spell" I said, rubbing my face a bit. "How long was I out?" I asked them, looking around for some sort of clock.

"Judging by the position of the sun, you were out for about two hours." Twilight said, I just shrugged it off, since I would sleep that much on a shady day.

"And where are we going?" I asked, since I was never shared this info.

"We don't know!" Rainbow said, clearly agitated. "Hopefully we get to fight a monster this time, or else this is just a big waste of time!" She said again, sounding like she was complaining to the world. Suddenly, the train stopped.

"Ah shit!" I yelled, as I was thrown from my seat by the momentum, slamming onto the floor. "Why we stopping?!" I asked, standing up on wobbly legs from the sudden surprise.

"We're here, that's why silly!" Pinkie said, cartwheeling her way off.

"Oh, cause that makes sense" I said, following them off the train. I was met with heat, a flat area, and the train speeding away really fast, just as I got off.

"Alright, let's figure out why the map sent us here" Twilight said, taking the honor of going first. We all walked for a bit, until we came across a beautiful view of a tiny village. Where all the buildings looked the same. And a cliff was just in front of us. No visible way down. And random ponies just walking around down there.

"Huh, everything looks normal" Twilight said, looking at the town.

"This isn't even close to normal" I said to myself, since they wouldn't understand what I mean, and I would have to explain.

"Wait a second, those smiles are fake!" Pinkie said, leaning over the ledge a bit. Looking a bit closer, I also noticed how their smiles looked forced. "I know a smile when I see them, and their fake!" She said again, enforcing her point.

"Your right, and just look at their cutie marks" Twilight said, this is when I noticed that they were wearing burlap sacks as clothes, and their shorts practically showed their asses! "How can one village have the same cutie mark?" She asked us all, I put on my 'what the hell you talking about' face, since I was completely lost!

"I bet there's some sort of hideous monster behind this" Rainbow said, just confusing me more. I mean, a monster would be fine to fight, but why in this town of freaky smile ponies?

"I highly doubt that Rainbow" Applejack said, then went back to looking at the town.

"In all honesty, I think we should just go down there and ask them what's going one" I said, giving them all and idea. Pinkie was the first to almost literally jump on it.

"I'm on it" Pinkie said, all serious like. Suddenly, she went over the edge, and rolled down like a damn ball! Landing at the bottom, perfectly behind a rock, waving her hand as to tell us to follow. Not wanting to die, I actually looked for somewhere to go down. Of course, there were stairs way off to the side. I started walking towards them, hearing the others go off after Pinkie as well.

"I will never understand this world" I said, shaking my head a bit, only to see Pinkie get crushed by a giant boulder, and scoot it along on top of her. "Not going to question it" I said, jogging the rest of the way to the stairs, and running down. Thanks to my amazing luck, a single part on a step collapsed, and I fell down the rest of the stairs from midway point. Landing at the bottom, I had my eyes shut tight from pure fear of injury.

"Welcome!" I heard someone say, way to happy for my taste. Cracking an eye open, I saw one of those freaking smile ponys standing right above me. Worst part, she was a mare, and those shorts don't count as nothing from my point of view.

"Shit, sorry for landing under you, and seeing all you stuff" I said, scooting away from under here, and standing up. "Thanks for not beating me senseless like the last lady I landed under!" I said, then ran off towards Twilight and the other girls.

After running for a bit, I caught up to them right as they were entering the town. I almost shit myself how scary this was.

"Welcome!" "Welcome!" "Welcome!"

That's all I heard as we walked along, Pinkie's face read that of no trust in the locals. Reminded me of my faces when I met someone who was against video games. Continuing through the town, we were confronted by a while stallion.

"Welcome! My name is Double Diamond!" He said, sounding like the stoner in my English class. "What brings you here?" Double Diamond asked us, the Fluttershy went on about how nice this town was, only for Pinkie to stop her instantly.

"Well, we're not sure exactly" Twilight said, I just stood there like a complete idiot, not knowing what to do or say.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Starlight Glimmer will be able to help you with that!" He told us, then turned around and started walking towards the building at the end of the street. We followed him, as to hopefully find out as to why we're here.

"Why are we trusting him? He sounds like a stoner" I whispered to Twilight, only to get a confused look in return.

"You shouldn't judge before you know" Fluttershy said from behind, actually making me feel terrible.

"Sorry sorry, just saying my say here!" I said, dropping it all together, because Fluttershy was being very defensive for some reason. We had reached the house, Double Diamond walked straight into it.

"Starlight, we have visitors!" He called out to this 'Starlight' figure, who apparently was the mayor or something? We followed him in, a door on the other side caught my attention, same with the girls.

"I bet some horrible monster is going to walk through that door" Rainbow whispered to us all, trying to entertain herself. I find it quite amusing. The door opened and out stepped a dark pink pony. What a surprise.

"Hello there! My name is Starlight Glimmer, and we are always happy to see new friends in our town!" She said, I heard Rainbow groan in disappointment.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and my friends are Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Zach" Twilight said, introducing all of us. Not wanting to be rude, I waved my hand once, twice, thrice, then put it back in my pocket. Starlight was looking at me with extreme curiosity, as if trying to understand what I was.

"Hmm, that's a weird name for a pony. Zach was it?" She asked me.

"Human" I said in quick response, she just cocked her head in confusion, then just shrugged it off.

"Might I ask what brings you all here?" She asked, I left it to the professionals at this point.

"Actually, a map brought us here, we were hoping some pony here could help us understand why" Twilight said, pretty much confused.

"Oh, really? Maybe it's because you were all tired of being different, so you made the pilgrimage here to get your cutie marks removed" Starlight said, a smile on her face.

"Say what?" Applejack asked, her face was pretty much screaming that she wasn't believing this shit.

"Actually, that's something that I wanted to ask about, how are all your cutie marks the same thing?" Twilight asked, Starlight giggled then started walking towards the door behind us.

"Why, every pony is equal in our town" Starlight said, then music turned on in the background, as if a song was about to start.

"In our town! In our town!" All the citizens started singing, not wanting to hear it, I just out my hands over my ears, and watched as Starlight went around, fixing manes and correcting dance moves, all the while they were singing. After about a minute or two, the song ended, so I took my hands away.

"So, this is just a communist town?" I asked, thinking about Mother Russia. Starlight looked at me in utter confusion, then went back to trying to explain something.

"As I said before, every pony here has made a pilgrimage to this town, so they could have their cutie marks removed so they could be equal!" Starlight said, while every pony else dispersed.

"Well, that's not what we want, besides, why would we want to give our cutie marks up?" Rarity asked, the others nodding in agreement.

"Fine, have a look around our town, maybe you will change your minds!" Starlight said, walking off towards what I guessed to be her house at the end of the street.

"Oh well, let's just look around" Twilight said, walking off towards a house with a table out front. As we were walking, Rarity looked to the left, gasped, then spoke.

"What in Equestria are those?!" She asked, I looked, only to see the potato sack clothes at a clothes store.

"Cloaks here, get yer cloaks here!" A bigger than normal pony said, pointing to some of them. Rarity made a gagged face, swallowed down what I presumed to be vomit.

"Oh, we're fine for now" Rarity said, walking away quickly.

"Sorry man, maybe next time" I said, following Rarity's lead. We caught up with the others, who were now sitting at that table.

"Alright, why would the map bring us here if every pony is so happy?" Twilight asked, pretty much bringing on a huge debate for me to ignore. Zoning out, I watched them talk about it, argue a bit, then I noticed the pony standing behind Twilight, who looked worried.

"Um, excuse me? Why are you arguing? Is it because you all have different talents?" She asked, they looked at each other.

"Hay no! We may be arguing, but we're still friends" Applejack said, confusing the pony.

"But, Starlight says you can't be friends if you have different talents and opinions" she said, still looking confused.

"I call bullshit!" I said, attracting a lot of attention. "I have friends, all better at me when it comes to sports, but they are still my friends despite that fact, and I'm still their friend even though I'm lazy and call sports lame" I said, Twilight looked a little surprised.

"Oh, well with that settled, my name is Sugar Belle and I will be taking your orders. We have, muffins" she said, smiling and waiting for us to answer.

"Well then, we'll take seven muffins" Twilight said, the pony nodded, then turned to walk back into the house.

"Make that fourteen!" Pinkie said, just as she walked into the building to get some muffins. Twilight gave her a glare real quick. "What? I'm hungry!" She said, then Twilight just shrugged. Then an idea popped into my head.

"Hey Twilight" I asked, she looked at me. "Know any electric spells?" I asked, she cocked her head in confusion.

"Why do you ask?" She asked me, I pulled my phone out, then the spare charger right after. Plugging it into my phone, I aimed the plug in towards her.

"Concentrate some onto this" I said, Twilight still looked confused, but started focusing on the spell. I saw a little electric field form around the charger, then my phone rumbled, letting me know that it was being charged. "Well I'll be damned, it actually works" I said, then looked at the phone screen, seeing that it said thirty percent charged already.

"How much longer?" Twilight asked, I looked at the charger to see a bit of smoke coming off it.

"You can stop now" I said, wide eyed, afraid the charger would melt. Twilight stopped, and I dropped it as the heat started burning my fingers. "That's hot!" I said, shaking my hand around, trying to cool it off. Then the pony walked out with the muffins, all neatly placed on a tray.

"Oh well, the muffins are here!" Pinkie said, grabbing one. I stopped shaking my hand since it was no longer burning, then grabbed a muffin myself. Me and Pinkie threw them into the air, and caught them in our mouths. Then the taste hit my tongue.

Pinkie and I started spitting them out, I felt the rivers of hell rise in my throat, so I slammed my hand over my mouth. Pinkie was scrapping muffin pieces off her tongue, then we both looked at the shocked pony. I swallowed, while Pinkie just smiled at her with muffin bits in her teeth.

"I meant, their delicious!" Pinkie said, giving a nervous laugh. The pony just sighed, then looked down.

"It's OK, I'm no better then any other pony at least" she said all sad like, then turned around, walking into the building. Suddenly, she darted back out and whispered something towards us, then darted back in. Twilight looked surprised, so did the others, and I had no idea what she had said.

Twilight gave a nod. "I have a plan" Twilight said, then Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight looked at Pinkie. "You have to eat all these muffins though Pinkie!" Twilight said, Pinkie had a look of betrayal on her face.

"What?! Why me?!" She asked.

"Cause you have a stronger stomach then us" Applejack said, they all continued to stare, then Pinkie stared at the muffins in defeat, and started eating. We all sat there for a few minutes, watching her eat all the muffins, her face growing greener with every one she ate. Finally reaching the last one, she put it in her mouth, chewed it up, then swallowed.

"Why Pinkie! You ate all our muffins!" Applejack yelled, I just sat there confused. "Guess we'll have to go in and get some more!" She yelled again, then they all stood up and walked into the house. I got up and followed, Pinkie behind me since she was having a hard time walking for some reason. I continued, following them into the basement, as I heard Pinkie fall down the stairs behind me, crushing me underneath her.

"I've actually had cardboard that tasted better then that" Pinkie said, which I silently agreed with from underneath her, as she got off me.

"Sugar Belle! We're here, where are you?" Twilight called out, then Sugar Belle walked to the edge of the light that was on.

"Did any pony see you come down here?" Sugar Belle asked, I looked back, seeing no one else on the stairs, then looked forward again.

"Uh, no" Twilight said.

"Good, now no pony will know what will happen here" she said, then two more ponies walked out from the shadows, all three of them walking towards us with those creepy smiles, surrounding us. I felt a bit of fear, as I prepared my fists for a fight. Suddenly, they were asking question after question, asking the girls and me what it was like to be friends when we're different and stuff like that.

"Oh this ones pretty!" One of them said, lifting Fluttershy's skirt a bit and looking at the butterflys. Fluttershy gave of a tiny eep at this, then I felt a tug.

"Not my pants!" I said, jumping to avoid the tug, only to give more power to it. With a ripping noise, I felt air rush to my legs. "Shit!" I said, quickly running into the shadows, and pulling the hoodie down over my legs as best I could.

"Sorry" the pegasus said, while the pants were still in her hands. The others just brushed it off, and continued to look at the cutie marks.

"Better be some extras around here" I said, looking around, then the pegasus flew over to a dresser that I never noticed. Flying back over, she gave me some of those potato sack shorts.

"Now we can see your cutie mark without you being embarrassed!" She said, thinking I had one. Giving off a sigh, I put the shorts on, and felt the scratchy texture instantly. Walking out from the shadows again, all three of them instantly looked at my rear, only to be confused when they didn't see a cutie mark or some skin.

"Where's your cutie mark?" The unicorn one asked, looking at me in confusion.

"I'm human, can't have those" I said, they just cocked their heads in confusion. "I'll explain later, but I do believe introductions are in order" I said, then things kicked off.

"You're right, we were so distracted we forgot about that!" Twilight said, then cleared her throat. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, this is Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy" Twilight said, giving a quick introduction, forgetting me.

"But, what's his name?" The unicorn asked, pointing at me.

"My name isn't important if Twilight didn't say it" I said, checking my fingernails for dirt, while everyone looked at me. Twilight's face was red with embarrassment.

"Sorry Zach" she said, then the three just gave a confused 'oh?' as their response to my name.

"Human name" I said, clearing it up for them.

"Well, I'm Party Favor!" Party Favor said, clearing his name off the list.

"And I'm Night Glider!" Night Glider said, also clearing her name off the list of names we needed to hear.

"Wait hold up" I said, catching all their attention. "Not you girls, I'm talking to that rat over there!" I said, pointing at the rat in the corner, who was now looking at us in confusion.

"Really Zach, you pay attention to the smallest thing in the room?" Rainbow Dash asked, I just shrugged my shoulders, and left the rat to it's own things.

"Well with that out of the way, I have a few questions" Twilight said, Sugar Belle nodded, signalling Twilight to continue. "Okay, my first question, why are you so curious about out cutie marks?" She asked.

"Well, we miss ours, and if I had mine back for at least a day, I would cook something besides those horrible muffins" Sugar Belle said, looking down with a sad face.

"Then why don't you just go get them back?" Twilight asked, then I zoned out, wondering why they didn't just go do that in the first place! Shaking it off with something to do with magic, I started listening to what they were saying.

"Alright, let's go look at this cutie mark vault" Rainbow said, hovering over to the stairs then going up. Not knowing one hundred percent what we were doing, I followed the rest out as we went to see this cutie mark vault. After a bit of walking and talking, Starlight was leading us to the nearby mountains, where the vault was.

"Why do I have Borderland feelings about this?" I asked, looking around, expecting to see a Skag for some reason. The girls just gave me a weird look, then went on talking about what they were talking about. Deciding that this would be a long walk, I put my earphones in and started blasting some dubstep. Of course when music's playing, traveling is much faster and we were there in no time, so I pulled my earplugs out and put them away.

"Behold! The cutie mark vault!" Starlight said, and whoa and behold, a giant glass panel was covering a lot of butt marks.

"I've never seen anything like it!" Twilight said, obviously surprised.

"They're all so pretty" Fluttershy said, also looking amazed.

"And this is the staff of sameness! It allows us to de-cutie mark any pony!" Starlight said, picking it up in her magic, then a grin formed on her face. "How did you come to know about the vault anyway?" She asked, twirling it while looking at us with an evil grin.

Then a bunch of the towns folk appeared out of the shadows, blocking us in the cave. "It's a trap!" Twilight yelled, making me laugh at the memory of that meme. Teleporting herself into the air a bit, Twilight prepared to strike with a spell.

"What should I do?!" I asked, looking around for anything to at least help out. Then a beam launched from the staff, striking Twilight. "Shit" I said, as I heard her groan in pain, as I saw and heard her cutie mark rip off, as an equal sign replaced it. Then the same happened to the others, the sounds of their pain filling my ears.

"Your turn" I heard Starlight say from right behind me, making me spin around and punch her. Everything went quiet, as the sound of my knuckles popping resonated through the cave. I felt instant pain in my fist.

"Ah shit! Your face is bony as hell!" I said, shaking my hand around in pain. "Did I even faze you?" I asked, looking at the still standing opponent.

"You'll pay for that!" She said angrily, the aura around the staff growing bigger.

"I'll take that as a yes" I said, turning to run away. I took a total of five steps before I felt something hit my back, pain seared through me for two seconds, then leaving instantly. The sudden pain made me falter, as I fell to the ground, and blacked out.

Author's Note

This took forever! I feel really proud about this chapter! Oh yeah, and the last chapters of this will be longer, so you guys have more to read before this ends!

19: Victory at Our Town

"Hey, get up!" Frank yelled, as I awoke inside my own head.
"Good god, it actually worked!" Frank practically screamed that out.

"What worked?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, then feeling a lot of pain.

"Me yelling at you from this cage for three hours" Frank casually said, I looked around, finding his head poking out from a purple cage.

"What the hell?" I asked, looking at the cage. "What're you doing in there exactly?" I asked him, poking the cage while doing so.

"Oh you know, being trapped by magic from a staff" he said, being a smart ass.

"Well how do I get you out?" I asked, punching the cage, only to hurt myself on it.

"Hmm, let's see....you could punch it more, or get the key while getting your sense in music back!" he said, pointing behind me. Turning around, I found myself in a locked room.

"He's awake!" Pinkie screamed in my ear, pretty much making my left ear deaf to all noise.

"He is?!" Twilight said, rushing over and looking at me. "How do you feel?" She asked, observing me.

"Like pain" I said, holding back the urge to scream in pain, my arms felt like someone had been biting into them full force, my chest felt like I had been hit by a truck twice in a row, and my head felt like something punched it with four arms four times.

"I wonder why" Rainbow said off to the side. Looking over, I saw her roll her eyes.

"So what're we doing in here?" I asked, looking around the tiny room, seeing the others looking at me, and Pinkie was reading a book full of equal signs.

"Trapped" Rainbow said flatly, this is when I noticed the little intercom talking about equality.

"What should we do?" I asked, feeling the boredom seep into my mind. Painfully.

"We could find a way to escape" Rarity said, while looking at the window curtains, trying to determine something.

"Or we could read these books!" Pinkie said, then a weird pulse like thing ran over her, making her mane flatten as she frowned.

"Those are.....ideas" I said, pulling my phone out with my earbuds. "My plan is to wait it out" I said, plugging everything into the place it needed to go, then started blasting some dubstep. I watched as the others talked amongst themselves, as I heard.....music I think? It definitely didn't sound like anything that made sense.

"Told ya" Frank said, that's when it hit me.

"That bitch is going down" I said, pulling my earbuds out, stuffing them into my pocket.

"Wait what?!" Fluttershy said, looking completely confused and scared.

"I can't tell if my dubstep is music or not anymore!" I said, blaring it out loud for them to hear as well. They all looked confused as to what they were hearing, even staring at me like I was a maniac for thinking this was music before!

"Human's are silly with their fancy music" Applejack said, I just sighed, stopped my music, then put it away.

"Yes, yes we are" I said, then felt a weird sensation go down my back, as I felt a pulse follow it. I felt normal for once. "What have I become?" I asked myself, as everything started looking more normal then before. I just sat down, closed my eyes, and fell deep into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop it! He can't lose anymore or he'll die!" I heard someone say, as I started to stir. I opened my eyes, only to meet that of two red eyes.

"What the hell?!" I shouted, as I rolled away from the eyes. Looking back, I saw that Fluttershy was once again a vampony. "Did she bite me again?" I asked, patting around my neck, searching for any blood.

"Yes, but you can't become a vampire again because of the moonsand!" Twilight said, pulling on Fluttershy's tail, keeping her from sucking me dry.

"Thank god! But how long was she biting me for?" I asked, Twilight looked at Rarity, Rarity looked at Rainbow, Rainbow looked at Applejack, and then Applejack looked at Pinkie. Then they all shrugged their shoulders. "I will take it that it was well over a while" I said, looking at Fluttershy with caution. Suddenly, she kicked Twilight, then flew straight into my chest, slamming me against the wall.

"All mine!" Fluttershy yelled, biting straight into my neck, bringing more pain onto my pain riddled body. She lifted both of us off the ground, up to the roof, keeping me in her grasp all the while.

"Hey!" Rainbow yelled, trying to get her off me without hurting her. Fluttershy pulled away from my neck, stared into Rainbow's soul, then went straight back to drinking.

"Please......stop!" I said, giving a quick punch, only to be dropped to the ground.

"H-how....how could you!" Fluttershy yelled, flying straight down onto me, crushing me into the ground. "You hurt me!" She yelled again, punching my shoulder, a loud pop filled the room as I felt my shoulder be dislocated.

"Sorry about this then!" I said in pure anger, using my other arm to get her off, dealing a strong punch to her head, knocking her out cold. Everything was silent, all eyes on me, the pain was worse then anything I've felt before. Deciding to try to get rid of some pain, I popped my shoulder back into place. I sat there, looking at all of them, wondering what they will do to me. Pinkie broke the silence.

"Why?" She asked, tears forming in her eyes, as she curled into a ball on the ground.

"I.....I-I don't know" I uttered out, my words hung heavy in the air, I knew I was doomed against them.

"I thought you were cooler then that" Rainbow said, finding a spot, then ignored us.

"You didn't have to hurt her" Twilight said, turning away.

"That was barbaric" Rarity said, still staring at the curtains.

"I honestly think you could've done something else" Applejack said, lowering her stetson over her eyes.

"I'm........never mind" I said, looking at one of the windows. "I'm out" I said, taking Pinkie's hoodie off, then the note fell out of the pocket. Picking it up, I re-read the letter from the pink mare, then turning it over. I picked up a pencil off the ground, then wrote a goodbye letter to all the girls. Walking over to Fluttershy, leaving the goodbye note next to her, and setting the hoodie onto Pinkie.

"Farewell" I said, forcing myself through the tiny window space. Once out, I looked towards Starlight's house, anger flooded me again. "I'm coming for you" I said, walking towards it. The sun revealed itself on the horizon, as I stepped up to the door. As I stood there, about to knock, the door opened. She looked completely surprised to see me.

"How did you?" She asked, I just put two fingers to her head, then did something stupid.

"One inch punch!" I yelled, balling my fist from a finger space away from her head, then instantly thrusting forward. Due to stupidity, I forgot that I lacked the skills to do it properly, and pretty much just knocked on her head.

"Never mind, you're going straight back in there" she said, knocking me out with that damned spell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he alright?" I heard someone ask, opening my eyes, I saw Party Favor in the locked room with us.

"Of course he is! He only ran off and ditched us!" Twilight said, sounding pretty angry.

"I was trying to take down Starlight" I said, standing up.

"Then why did you give back my hoodie and leave a goodbye note next to Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked, tears streaming down her face.

"Because I didn't know what I was doing" I said, then looked around for Fluttershy, only to see she wasn't there. "Where's Fluttershy?" I asked, then Party Favor looked out the window.

"She's one of them now" he said, I walked over, looking out, then spotting Fluttershy outside with all the other citizens.

"How many times do we have to tell you! It's part of our plan!" Rainbow said, her back towards me.

"Hold up, what plan?" I asked, they all looked away, giving me the cold shoulder.

"Why should it matter to you if you're just going to run off like that!" Twilight said, getting in my face, anger clear in her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek. "You scared me when I saw them throw you back in, because it looked like you were dead!" She said, turning away from me once more.

"You smell like it too" Pinkie said, tears still streaming down her eyes.

"Well sorry I smell bad" I said, guilt flooding my body. "I'm sorry for what I've done, but I'm only human, so I can't be perfect and nice like all you ponies" I said, grabbing their attention. "I just.....I don't know why I do violent things, nor will I ever figure out. All I know is that the mistakes I make, make me who I am" I said, giving what I believed to be an apology.

"You still need to apologize to Fluttershy" Twilight said, distracting herself, the others doing the same. Deciding that there was nothing else to do, I sat by the window, putting some 'music' on to distract myself. Everything seemed to speed up, passing by faster then school would. The sun set, and the moon rose, and I felt an arm touch my shoulder.

I jumped from the sudden touch, taking a few steps away from the window, I saw a certain vampony in the window. "Fluttershy you're back!" Twilight said, walking over to the window. "So what did you find out?" She asked, Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, but stopped and looked at me, her eyes read it all.

"Not with him around" she said, looking away from me. Giving a sigh of defeat, I plugged my ears full of more 'music' as to show I wasn't listening. Fluttershy gave a nod, then started explaining it to the others, leaving me in the dark. They talked for a few minutes, then Fluttershy flew off, and the others went back to where they were before.

"Is that all?" I asked, they looked at me.

"Well, yeah, we gotta wait until mornin'" Applejack said, pulling the stetson down again.

"Why not just do it at night? Under the cover of the shadows?" I asked, thinking of how much better it would work at night.

"Let's see, I can't get my wings through, and Starlight is in her house" Rainbow said, looking a little down for once. Giving up, I decided I might as well get some rest, so I would be ready for whatever happens tomorrow. Laying down, I felt something soft land on me.

"You're going to want that back" Pinkie said, I looked up to see the hoodie back on me.

"Thanks" I said, sitting up to put it on. With the cuddly hoodie back on, I used the hood as a pillow, and closed my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke, the door open, and the others were walking out. Not wanting to be left in the tiny room any longer, I hurried up and followed them out. "Any pony want to join us this morning?" Starlight said, as we all got into a line in front of them.

"What?" I asked, not knowing what she meant.

"Do you want to be equal with us?" Starlight said, giving a small yet explanatory explanation.

"Oh right yeah.....no" I said, Starlight just gave a face that screamed 'of course you wouldn't.'

"I want to re-join you!" Party Favor said, running forward. "They tried to change me with their friendship, but I didn't listen!" He said, making a random face.

"I thought so, any others?" She asked, throwing us a smirk.

"You know our answers, now give us our cutie marks back!" Twilight said, I decided to insert my own words.

"And the key to Frank's cage!" I said, the others just stared at me in confusion, while Starlight gave a little smirk.

"Oh, so that's what that little red aura was?" She asked, then Double Diamond stepped forward, handing a jar of red to her. "How badly do you want this back?" She asked, then Frank intervened.

"Free me you bitch!" Frank said, a red head popping out of my head, scaring the literal shit out of every one else, almost including me.

"Holy shit! I didn't know you could do that!" I said, Frank's head went back in, then his arm flew out of mine, shattering the jar.

"You have no idea" Frank said, the red aura flying into me, then Frank's entire form walked out, clear for everyone to see. "Now hand over the rest of the cutie marks, and I won't end you now" Frank said, walking towards her. Then out of nowhere, Fluttershy flew up and dumped a bucket of water on her, revealing a cutie mark from under her fake one.

"Wait what?" Starlight asked, looking up, then covering her cutie mark with her tail.

"Nice one Fluttershy" Frank said, giving her a fist bump as she landed next to him.

"Same to you" Fluttershy replied, Starlight's face was riddled with surprise.

"B-but, you were one of us!" She yelled, then Twilight stepped forward, explaining a large and elaborate plan that I did not understand one bit. "QUIET!" Starlight yelled, her face was red with anger, and even Frank looked a little surprised.

"Wait a second, isn't that real?" Double Diamond asked, stepped forward, looking at her ass. "I thought you said we were all equal!" He said, sounding betrayed.

"Of course we are!" Starlight said, taking a step back.

"But none of us have our cutie marks, then how come you still have yours?" A random pony in the crowd asked, once more, Twilight said something nerdy about some guys artifacts.

"Then how did she remove our cutie marks if the staff wasn't magical?" Party Favor asked.

"It was my magic that did it!" Starlight said, anger once again clear.

"We want our cutie marks back!" The crowd started saying, Starlight backed away, then ran off into her house. "Come on everypony! Let's go get our cutie marks back!" Another random pony yelled, then they all took off towards the vault. I started running with them, since Twilight and the others were doing so as well.

"Wait! Our cutie marks are in Starlight's house!" Fluttershy yelled, we turned on the dime, sprinting towards her house. Upon reaching the house, the door was locked.

"Ah come on! Of course she locked the damn door!" I said, giving it a good kick. "Screw it, I'm busting a window!" I said, walking over to a window, breaking it, then climbing through. Unlocking the door, I was met with a bunch of un-amused faces.

"That was unnecessary" Twilight said, showing me a key she had.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, finally noticing that my elbow was bleeding.

"Under the welcome mat" she said, then went up the stairs. I walked over to the mat, and kicked it off into the street. Following them up, I saw them go down a hidden passage under a bed.

"I've seen a trick like this before" I said, following them down the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boring travel scene cut, even though it never existed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emerging from the long tunnel, we watched as Starlight ran towards some mountains. "If she gets into those caves in the mountains, you'll never see your cutie marks again!" Double Diamond said next to us, appearing out of nowhere.

"How will we catch her in time?" Twilight asked, walking towards the mountains.

"You can count on me!" Rainbow said, flying into the air, only to fly slower then ever before. I watched as she struggled to fly faster, as Night Glider, Party Favor, Sugar Belle, and Double Diamond ran way ahead of us. "Oh come on!" Rainbow complained, as we all slowly walked towards the mountains. Finding it necessary, I plugged in some more 'music'. The walk was shorter then I expected, and a little interesting. I did see a bridge of balloons, wonder how that works.

"Look!" Twilight said, as some colored orbs flew towards us. They hit Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie.

"Why no orb for me?" I asked, searching around for another.

"Because she still has your sense in music!" Fluttershy said, then they all started running towards the balloon bridge, bouncing across.

"Alright, I'll just walk then" I said, walking after them, thinking about the lovely weather.

"Shall I join you?" Frank said, stepping out of me.

"How in the hell did you get back into me without me noticing?" I asked.

"Simple, you don't turn around much" he said, looking forward, I saw the others cross the balloon bridge.

"Whatever, just go catch up with them" I said, he shrugged his shoulders, then ran forward at high speeds. "Now I want ghost powers like that" I said, thinking about how much faster things could be done at that speed. Reaching the balloon bridge, I went for a nice good bounce. "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" I said, thinking about how these could be magical balloons that only ponies could walk on. With extreme accuracy, my theory was correct.

"SSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" I yelled, as my voice sounded like the weird cartoon-ish falling sound. Thinking quickly, I thought about how painful this would be.

"You really think we would let you fall?" I heard someone say, looking to the side, I saw Night Glider falling alongside me.

"Maybe, wait, aren't you supposed to be handling Starlight?" I asked, as we had casual talk during the fall.

"Oh they can handle it, it's just one mare" she said, then looked down. "Alright, grab my arm and don't let go" she said, holding it out.

"This is a normal thing for you, isn't it" I said, grabbing her arm.

"Not really" she said, using her somehow strong enough wings to carry us to a nearby cliff edge. "I'm gonna go check on your friends, just wait here" she said, flying off. Looking around, I saw there was nowhere else to go on this tiny ledge.

"Yeah I'll do that" I said, keeping myself as far away from the edge as I could. Looking around, I saw a light show near the mountains, with a red glow, random purple lights flying into the air, and a rainbow. "Looks like they're fighting, or coming to agreements and lighting some fireworks" I said to myself, trying to give.myself something to do. Deciding that talking to myself wasn't going to work, I looked up, observed the ledge, and decided on what to do.

"It's time to become, the Spiderman!" I said, turning to face my whole body towards the wall. Putting my first arm up, I grabbed onto a tiny ledge, then the other arm came up to grab a ledge just above it, then I pulled myself up. "Alright, now what?" I asked myself, as I kept myself hanging there, looking like a total idiot. "Just great, now I'm terrified to climb up, or drop back down" I said, feeling my arms growing weaker.

"Whatcha doing?" I heard someone ask, has another voice joined my head.

"Oh ya know, just hanging from a cliff" I replied.

"Oh that sounds like fun! Can I join you?" The voice asked.

"Sure, why not. Let's all hang from cliffs today! Today is national cliff hanging day!" I said, as I saw a lot of pink fall to my right. "Oh it's not another voice" I said, turning.my head to Pinkie.

"Nope! But I have a voice, so that counts right?" She asked, I smiled.

"Sure, why not" I said, then I felt the last little bit of strength leave my arms. "Shit" I said, before dropping right onto the tiny ledge. "Huh, I expected to fall more" I said, looking around to confirm that I wasn't falling.

"Oh you're so silly Zach!" Pinkie said, landing on the ledge with me.

"Everything went better then expe-" I began saying, before the ledge shattered, and we started plummeting to the ground.

"Weeeeeee!" I heard Pinkie scream, as she was actually having fun in a death fall. "Why aren't you yelling Zach? This is fun!" She said, doing a frontflip.

"Because I ain't magical, I'm wingless, and I don't have your mysterious abilities!" I said, deciding to look like I was having, I pretended that I was laying on a bed.

"Oh yeah, I always forget about that" Pinkie said, swimming through the air next to me, pretending to lay down next to me.

"So how big was this cliff again?" I asked looking down, only to see that an oversized fan was keeping us airborne. "Nevermind, did you put that there?" I asked Pinkie, she gave a quick nod, before doing a frontflip.

"Yep! I set it up so we could have some fun!" She said, then it hit me.

"Yeah, it's fun, but what about Starlight and the others?" I asked, looking up to see that the light show had stopped. "What happened?" I asked Pinkie, she just giggled.

"Frank's chasing her back down the mountain!" She said, pointing at the red aura move along the mountain side.

"Oh" I said, watching as it went down the mountain pretty fast. "Care to explain what happened up there?" I asked, deciding to lay down on the imaginary bed above the fan.

"Hmm, let's see....." She began, putting her mind to work. "We crossed the balloon bridge to discover that the others had stopped her but she still had your sense in music and then Frank came charging forward and scred the living stuffing out of us and yelled something and Night Glider nodded and flew back and then he walked towards Starlight who was trying to escape but he stopped her and there was this big duel with lazers ans magic and I even used my party cannon!" She said, all in one large breath. "And that's why we're here right now!" She said, giving me a hug.

"That explains....a lot.....but, if he's chasing her, then she would surely have dropped the bottle by now" I said, looking around.

"Oh yeah! Here it is!" Pinkie said, pulling the bottle of grey out of her mane.

"Not gonna question it" I said, giving her a hug, knocking the bottle out of her hand in the process. It fell to the ground, and made a brilliant smashing sound. "Come to papa" I said, watching the orb fly into my face, as I started remembering my favorite songs.

"So you got it back now right?" Pinkie asked, breaking the hug. I grabbed my phone and earbuds to put it to the test. With the dubstep blasting, I felt the joy from music that I always get.

"Yep, sounds beautiful" I said to her, smiling.

"So how much longer are you two just going to float there?" I heard a familiar voice say.

"No idea" I said, turning around to face the red man.

"Well alright then, but don't take to long, they're throwing a party back at the town" Frank said, using his thumb to point behind him in the general direction of the town.

"A party?! Without Pinkie?!" Pinkie said, gasping.

"Calm down Pinks, we'll get there" Frank said, turning around and walking around. "Unless you float up there all day" he yelled back, and Pinkie didn't think twice.

"Let's go!" Pinkie said, grabbing my arm while pulling a cannon out if nowhere.

"Wait what?" I asked, but it was too late, we were sitting on it and she did a movement, firing the cannon while launching us towards the party. "I hope the party's worth it for this!" I said, holding on for dear life.

Author's Note

Boom, weird chapter, intense chapter, completly strange chapter, it's different. And new. Enjoy.

Proofread by Super57s

20: Crusader power!

I got off the train, walking back into the friendly town of Ponyville. "Well, that's one adventure I'll never forget. So, what's our next plans?" I asked the girls, as I thought about what I was going to do for the day.

"Well, I'm going back to the castle" Twilight said, walking ahead.

"I'm gonna go say hi to Gummy!" Pinkie said, cartwheeling her way ahead.

"I'm off to do my own things" Rainbow said, flying past me.

"I have to finish a dress for a very special customer darling" Rarity said, walking along.

"Me and Angel are going to do a tea party" Fluttershy said, hovering past. "Would you like to join?" She asked.

"Nah, I don't drink tea" I said, waving my hand a bit.

"Oh, alright" she said, continuing on her way.

"You know how to buck apples?" Applejack said, slowing down to walk the slow pace I was doing.

"Wait, what?" I asked, I felt my cheeks burn.

"Buck apples" she said, giving me a curious look.

"Now why would I want to......do that to apples?" I asked, she just cocked her head in confusion.

"I don't know what yo-" she stopped mid-sentence, her cheeks turning red almost instantly. "Not that buck!" She yelled, I just put my hands up in defense.

"Sorry! I didn't know there were multiple meanings for buck here!" I said, both our cheeks red. "Just wondering, what exactly do you mean by.....well......'buck' apples?" I asked, I felt the fire in my cheeks slowly calm.

"By buck I mean kicking a tree until the apples fall" she said, the red leaving her cheeks.

"I hate yard work" I said, answering her question. "Well, might as well find something to do, as my PS3 doesn't have power" I said, speeding up a bit. I heard Applejack's footsteps speed up as well.

"Well, you could always go and play with Applebloom and her friends" she said, I looked at her curiously.

"Were those the three little ones at Fluttershy's house that one time?" I asked, she gave me a quick nod. "Well......sure, why not. Know where I could find them?" I asked, she started scratching her chin.

"Well, you could always check their clubhouse" she said.

"Well where's the clubho-" I started, but stopped as I tripped over a random rock.

"And that's another point for gravity!" I heard Pinkie yell from somewhere far ahead. I lay on the ground for a few more seconds, wondering how Pinkie knew exactly when I fell.

"You alright, sugar-cube?" Applejack asked, I slowly got up.

"Yep, never better" I said, wiping some dirt from my shirt. "Alright, so where's their clubhouse?" I asked again, continuing the walk.

"It's behind the barn on Sweet Apple Acres" Applejack said, sounding a bit proud for some reason.

"Alright, where's this 'Sweet Apple Acres' at?" I asked, she gave me a smirk.

"Just follow me, we'll get there soon enough" she said, running ahead of me.

"A race it is then" I said, running after her. We ran past a few houses, I gave a quick high five to a random pony I ran past. He looked completly surprised as well. We ran for a good while, stopping in an orchard of apple trees. "Please.....no more running" I said, putting my hands on my knees as I panted.

"We don't have to, we're here!" She said, doing a motion towards the barn and house nearby. I looked at the barn for a few minutes.

"Cool" I said, pulling my eyes away from it. "So, the clubhouse is behind the barn right?" I asked, she gave another nod. "Alright, peace out" I said, walking towards the barn. I looked at the paint, and I felt like something was watching me from within. Giving the barn a nice good look, I noticed something moving in the paint, but it was to faint to see what it really was.

"Whatcha looking at?" I heard a deep voice ask, jumping from the sudden voice, I looked around to see a big red guy.

"Oh, just the paint, and the thing in it" I said, giving off a bit of nervous laughter. He continued to stare at me for a few more seconds, before he just shrugged and walked away. Seeing this as a sign that I should keep going, I turned towards the direction of the clubhouse, and walked.

After a bit of walking aimlessly, I found the clubhouse. Walking up the ramps, I heard some voices coming from inside. The walls muffles it, so I couldn't truly understand the conversation they were having. Coming to the door, I decided to make myself known to them.

"Hello! I got the pizza you ordered!" I yelled, knocking on the door loudly, I heard a few shrieks from inside. I waited at the door, chuckling at my success of scaring them.

"Who's there?" I heard one of them ask, the door still closed.

"The gingerbread man" I said, then things went silent as I waited for a reply.

"Do you mean the gingerbread mare?" I heard one ask from inside, this time closer to the door, and slightly different.

"Either way it involves gingerbread, so in the end it's all good and tasty" I said, I heard them giggle a bit. I decided to lean against the door, since I could only imagine that they won't open the door for a little while.

"But weren't you saying something about pizza just a second ago?" One of them asked, I chuckled a bit.

"You caught me, I'm the gingerbread pizza delivery man" I said, no laughter this time, it was a bad joke after all.

"Now how can we trust you if you go off and do stuff like that?" They asked, I gave it some thought.

"Well give me something to do to get your trust then" I said, hoping that was enough to at least get them to open the door.

"Then explain what you are right now" I heard someone say directly to my right, making me jump in surprise.

"Oh no, it's Diamond Tiara" I heard another voice say as the door opened, revealing the CMC.

"Wish I had some popcorn now" I said, sitting on the railing. They all gave me a weird look. "What? I can obviously tell you three hate her and she obviously bullies you!" I said, using my arms to emphasize my point. Diamond Tiara, as I now know who she is, rolled her eyes at me, then turned to the CMC.

"So, what's this strange creatures business with you three blank flanks?" Diamond Tiara said, strolling up the stairs.

"We don't know! He just showed up!" The orange one said, giving Diamond Tiara a dirty look.

"No wonder he managed to find you blank flanks like yourselves so easily, he doesn't even have a cutie mark!" I heard a new voice say to my left. Looking that way, I saw a gray one there, and of course she was looking where all butt marks are found on ponies.

"God what's with you ponies and staring at my ass?" I asked, standing up and stepping away.

"Why is it located there?" I heard a faint voice ask, looking around, I saw a leg slip behind a nearby tree.

"Well of course he wouldn't have a cutie mark, even if he was a pony. He's too busy hanging around these blank flanks!" Diamond Tiara said, giving me and the CMC a cocky look.

"Wipe that look off your face, if you want to keep your face that is" I said, giving her my cocky look.

"Oh, is that so?" She asked, slowly walking towards me. "And how do you plan on doing that?" She said, getting uncomfortably close.

"Like this" Frank said, as his arm came out and grabbed her face through mine. She gave off a loud scream from the sudden hand from my face, same with the others. "Now go home you brat!" Frank said, lifting her up while emerging from me. He threw her towards the gray one lightly, making them both fall over.

"What the hell is that?!" Diamond Tiara asked, getting a better look at him.

"A good friend slash enemy" I said, as Frank walked towards them.

"Let's get out of here!" The gray one said, as they both got up and ran away.

"Thanks Frank" I said, he just shrugged and started walking off. "Hey, where you going?" I asked, he turned back towards me.

"To meet up with someone I met in this world, now go play with those three" Frank said, before he continued on his way.

Well alrighty then" I said, turning to the now very creeped out CMC. "So, where do we begin?" I asked, they just stared at me in disbelief.

"How did you do that?! That was so awesome!" The orange one said, being the first one to break away from the surprise from Frank.

"Oh you know, just carry around a dead spirit" I said, she just stared at me blankly. "Alright, a murdered dead spirit" I said, putting my hands up.

"What?" The white one asked in fear.

"Don't ask, it'll take too long" I said, then the yellow shook her head.

"You're that creature from Fluttershy's house!" She said, staring at me.

"Why yes, yes I am" I said, giving a quick smile. "Now, shall we proceed into the clubhouse?" I asked, wandering in before them.

"Hey! You can't just go in there!" The orange one said, chasing me in.

"Well I just did" I said, she stopped, and let her mind get to work on that.

"But it's clubhouse rules! Only members can enter" the white one said, walking in with the yellow one.

"Well, we'll get to that later. For now, let's just introduce ourselves" I said, taking a seat on the floor. "I'll start. Hi, I'm Zach, it's nice to meet you three. Now it's your turn" I said, gesturing my hand towards the yellow one.

"We're not as young as you think we are" she said, ignoring that it was her turn.

"Well boo hoo, take your turn, I don't got all day" I said, then put a hand to my chin. "Actually yes I do" I said, slapping myself lightly.

"Fine, my name's Applebloom" Applebloom said, staring at me with a teensy bit of anger.

"Me next?" The white one asked, I gave a quick nod. "Well my names Sweetie Belle!" She said, being the first one to actually sound happy about this.

"I guess" The orange one said. "I'm Scootaloo, now get out until you're a member!" She said, and with a quick kick, she kicked me out the door.

"Ah shit!" I said, as I watched the ground approach very quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he alright?" I heard a quiet voice ask.

"We don't know, all we know is that Scootaloo can kick!" I heard a high pitched voice ask.

"Well I didn't mean to kick him that hard!" I heard Scootaloo say.

"Don't kick the baby" I said, hearing a small 'eep' come from nearby. "That actually worked?" I asked, opening my eyes and sitting up.

"I didn't kill him?!" Scootaloo said, staring at me in surprise.

"I don't die easily" I said, getting up off the couch. Looking around, I found myself to be in Fluttershy's house. "Now how'd I get here?" I asked them, looking around to see Fluttershy giving her usual small smile.

"The girls carried you here" Fluttershy said, giving them a quick smile. "And it's a good thing they got you here in time as well" she said, I gave her a questioning look.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, checking my body for any wounds.

"This stick was impaled in you upper back" Fluttershy said, pointing to the stick on the table. It was still covered in my blood.

"Well damn, that's a nice stick" I said, picking it up. "Too bad it was wasted on me" I said, walking to the door, opening it, then chucking it as far as possible, then turning around.

"Gah! Who threw this stick?" I heard someone say, looking where I threw it, only to see a science experiment gone wrong.

"Oh Discord! I had completely forgot about today!" Fluttershy said, walking outside.

"Don't worry Fluttershy, I brought spares" Discord said, then looked at me. "Oh there you are" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Whadda mean there you are?" I asked, looking at him.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough" he said, laughing a bit. "Now, go play with the little ones" he said, flicking his fingers. I felt the usual feeling I get when teleporting, and I knew someone was going to be mad.

"What the?" I heard Scootaloo ask as we reached our destination in the tree house. With no way to stop it, it came pooring out.

"WHAT?!" I heard Sweetie Belle shriek, as she was covered in my lunch.

"Sorry about that, teleporting does that" I said, laughing nervously. Her eyes dug deep into my soul, as I felt the anger emanate from her. "Shit" I said, as I knew there was no way to stop whatever magic she was going to hit me with. After a few seconds of her focusing on the spell, I opened my arms, and took a magic blast to the face.

Author's Note

Here's another chapter, not as long as I had hoped or planned it to be, but that has to deal with something I changed before the story was released. So yeah, apology on how short it is, this the 4th of the last seven, and some stuff has been revealed if you were reading closely......you'll see.

Hey look! A distraction! (Runs from fun fact for this chapter)

Proofread by Super57s

EDIT: Fixed errors in my writing, sorry for that.

21: A 'normal' day in Equestria

I opened my eyes, finding myself once more in the hospital. Sitting up, I looked around to see Twilight walking in.

"You must like this place" Twilight said, I gave a light chuckle.

"Hey, I don't choose to be here, the world does" I said, checking myself over for any injuries. "Also, why is it that you're always walking into the room slash are in the room when I wake up?" I asked, finding a burn mark on my chest.

"I was actually on my way to see if you were up" Twilight said, sitting in a nearby chair. "Now, get your clothes on, the train will be here soon" she said, throwing the small pile of my clothes.

"Train? Why do we have to get on that magically confusing thing once more?" I asked, as I got up to get dressed.

"How is it magically confusing?" Twilight said, her voice sounding a little less direct, making me believe she was looking away.

"Well for starters, it has one track but it goes to a variety of different locations" I said, slipping my shirt on.

"First off, it's magic, it can do things like that" Twilight said, trying to make a point. "Second, you're always asleep, so how can you know when it changes direction?" Twilight asked, I just laughed.

"First off, I'm not always asleep, I like to keep my eyes closed on long trips" I said, as I pulled my pants up. "Second off, I have a greater sense of direction then most others" I said, turning around to see that Twilight hadn't moved once since I was in the bed. "I see that you don't mind watching me get dressed" I said, checking to make sure everything was still in my pockets.

"Well....um...." Twilight said, her cheeks burning red.

"Caught red handed and with no excuse. For shame" I said, turning to walk towards the door.

"Hey! You wouldn't mind watching me get dressed!" Twilight said, as I heard her get up from the chair, her footsteps heading my way.

"True true, but you would enjoy me watching you get dressed more than me enjoying it" I said, turning to see Twilights entire face blood red with embarrassment.

"H-how good are you at arguments?" She asked, I got a bit closer.

"I can argue my way through an army of angry moms" I said, raising my hand and blooping her nose. "Bloop" I said, before I turned around and exited the room.

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked, as she followed me out the door.

"Out of the hospital of course" I said, continuing my walk.

"But the exit's this way" she said, I turned on the dime and ran back.

"I knew that!" I said, rushing past her.

"Lets just teleport" Twilight said, I stopped and turned around.

"Then don't tell me where the exit is or else I'll just go there" I said, walking back. "Let me guess, back to the holding hands for teleporting?" I asked, Twilight gave a quick nod. "Nope, you get something else!" I said, throwing my arms around her. I felt her stiffen up from the sudden contact, but after a second, she returned it.

"How do you know everything?" She asked, as we stood there in the halls of the rather empty hospital.

"I get around" I said, as she tightened the hug.

"Whatever, I know you" she said, I just gave a laugh.

"You've only scratched the surface" I said, giving a light smirk.

"I highly doubt that" Twilight said, as I felt the magic of the teleportation spell begin.

"Off to the train we go" I said, as we went through the normal sequence of teleporting. Once we arrived at the train station, we broke our hug and looked around.

"Well it looks like Twilight finally made the move" I heard Rarity say, turning towards her voice, I saw the others standing there.

"Actually, I made the move, she just gave the opportunity" I said, being a little to into myself.

"That's a little to harsh, don't you think?" Rainbow said, I just laughed.

"I'm messing with ya, she made the move when she watched me get dressed!" I said, only to receive a slap from Twilight.

"This would make a great movie!" Pinkie said, as they all laughed a bit. I joined their laughter as the train pulled up.

"Alright, lets go!" Applejack said, as we boarded the train. Getting into our seats, Pinkie sat on my lap.

"Uh Pinkie I......you know what, this is normal" I said, as Pinkie snuggled into my chest a bit.

"Looks like some pony is a bit jealous" Rainbow said, looking at Fluttershy and Twilight, who were both staring at me and Pinkie.

"What have I gotten into?" I asked, wondering when all of them had started going for me. "How long has it been like this? I shouldn't ask should I?" I asked, Fluttershy just went off to a different seat and Twilight sat across from me and Pinkie.

"I have no say in this" I heard a new voice say, looking to the left, I saw the gray mare from the party.

"W-where'd you come from?" I asked, stuttering for no reason.

"I came from my house to this train" she said, giggling.

"Curse the smart alecs!" I said, shaking my head.

"No really, I did! I flew straight here!" She said, showing her wings.

"Oh well, so what makes you want to sit next to me?" I asked out of curiosity, she began looking a bit concerned.

"Is it bad that I'm sitting here?" She asked, looking around for empty seats.

"No, I'm just not used to people or ponies just randomly sitting next to me" I said, she began to relax a bit.

"Oh good, I have a few questions to ask by the way" she said, smiling. "My name's Derpy!" She said, putting her hand out for a good shake.

"Nice to meet you, the name's Zach" I said, shaking her hand.

"Alright, now the question I want to ask is" Derpy said, searching through a little mail bag. After a second, she pulled a slip of paper out. "If you would like to go on a date with Lyra!" She said, handing me the paper that had the question. Reading it over, it was indeed an invitation to Lyra's house for dinner.

"Are all you ponies after me?" I asked, looking around as the train started going.

"Beats me" Pinkie said, as she continued with her snuggling.

"Depends" Twilight said, staring at the paper, me, and Pinkie.

"I wouldn't mind going out with you" I heard Fluttershy say from her seat. "If you don't mind that is" she said afterwards, before going back to her own business.

"Well shit, getting a girl is a lot harder on Earth than here" I said, thinking back, I realized why. "Let me guess, lack of males here" I said, looking at all of them.

"Well yeah, any stallion a mare can get their hands on is worth it" Rarity said, confirming my suspicions.

"Makes sense on why I've only seen one guy in town" I said, before slapping my face real quick.

"Why are you slapping yourself?" Rainbow asked, who I'm just noticing is sitting next to Twilight.

"To make sure I don't dip into insanity again" I said, before closing my eyes while hugging Pinkie a bit more.

"Wait, insanity? You've been there before?" Pinkie asked, cracking my eyes open a bit, I saw her staring at me.

"Yes, but that was before you Pinkie" I said, closing my eyes again. They all went silent as the train continued on its path. Once again, I felt the train change direction and turn towards wherever. Giving up, I let sleep overcome me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Get up sleepy head!" I heard Rainbow say, as I was rolled out of the seat I was in.

"What? Why?" I asked, trying to get comfortable again.

"Because we're here, that's why!" Rainbow said, before picking me up and dropping me.

"Alright alright! I'm up!" I said, standing up and stepping away from her.

"Lyra was right, you are the life of any party" Derpy said, as she exited the train. Following, I found the others out there, probably waiting for me.

"There he is, now lets go" Applejack said, as we all started progressing through the city of Canterlot. We walked through mane street, as the sign called it, gaining attention from the locals since Twilight and I were here.

"Stop staring, it gets more annoying than getting Rick rolled!" I yelled, making quite a bit of the crowd jump, including Rarity and Fluttershy.

"Will you stop yelling at the crowd?!" Rarity asked, angry that her mane was ruined from her tiny jump. I did a zipping motion over my mouth, which seemed to satisfy her as she started to fix it.

"Excuse me, sir?" I heard a voice say, turning, I saw what I believed to be a guard because of his armor.

"Lay it on me" I said, as he pulled out a scroll and cleared his throat.

"You are to accompany me to Princess Celestia for judging" he said, I looked a bit closer to see who it was.

"Oh you little shit head" I said, he gave me a cocky look.

"Yes me, now come willingly or I will have to bring you by force" he said, tightening his grip on the spear. Turning back, I saw Twilight's face, and stepped out of the way to let her handle him.

"Flash Sentry" Twilight said, stepping forward. Flash dropped his spear and went to attention.

"Popcorn?" Pinkie asked, putting a bucket in front of me. Without question, I took quite a few pieces.

"You are relieved from duty for a month, for abusing your new powers as a Royal Guard" Twilight said, Flash gave me a dirty look, before marching off in shame.

"Thanks Twilight" I said, as me and Pinkie stood up from our chairs, and proceeded towards the castle. Once we reached the gates, we were greated by sun butt herself.

"Hello my little ponies" Celestia said. "And Zach" she quickly finished off, I gave her a quick sad look because she forgot me for a second.

"Howdy princess" Applejack said, crossing her legs.

"Hi sun butt" I said, her eyes instantly locked onto mine. "I meant, Celestia" I said, she raised and eyebrow, before just shaking her head.

"I had almost forgotten that crude nickname you gave her" Rarity said, shaking her head. I just shrugged my shoulders, then looked around.

"Hey where's moon bu- I mean Princess Luna" I said, getting a glance from Twilight.

"Oh, she went off to her chambers to sleep off a headache" Celestia said, looking back at the castle.

"Aw, I was hoping we would all be here for the questions" Pinkie said, her smile upside down.

"Wait, questions? What questions?" I asked, they all looked at me like I had forgotten something important.

"You're the one who said questions should wait until we were all together" Rainbow said, I scratched my head in confusion, only to slap myself out of that state of mind.

"I had completly forgotten because I was kinda blasted with a magic spell" I said, thinking back to the clubhouse.

"Well whos fault is that?" Rarity asked, staring at me.

"Discord" I said, only for almost everyone around me to facepalm.

"Now why would that be Discords fault?" Fluttershy asked, now looking at me.

"Did somebody call me?" I heard the familiar voice of the science expirement say.

"Yes, explain to them how you made Sweetie Belle blast me" I said, he just scratched his chin as he entered my field of view.

"Well it's not my fault you get nauseous when teleporting" he said, rolling his eyes. Literally.

"And that ladies and gentlemen is how you solve the case!" I said, putting my hands up like I just won the Olympics, only to recieve a light smack on the back of my head.

"Well, since you're here Discord, would you like to join us at question time?" Fluttershy said, giving him a cute face. He grumbled for a second.

"Oh alright" he said, and with his final input, we were on our way into the castle. Walking through the doors, I saw just how rich royalty was here.

"Are those doors lined with gold?" I asked, pointing to some nearby doors. Celestia and the others looked at thw doors, then me.

"Why yes, aren't most doors in your world lined with gold?" Celestia asked, as if gold was just as common as dirt.

"Well lets see.....I lived in a world where pollution is an everyday thing, the world is slowly being destroyed, and if all of us had gold, we would live in perfect chaos" I said, looking back at the others, most of their eyes were wide open. "I've explained this before I do believe, so stop looking so shocked" I said, they shook their heads, and we proceeded to our destination. Which was the throne room.

"Now, shall we get started?" Rarity asked, as we all sat in the conveniently placed chairs.

"Whenever we're all ready" Celestia said, sitting in her throne.

"Nope, gonna get me a sandvich" I said, walking off.

"Do you even know where the kitchen is?" Twilight called out to me.

"I'll follow the smell of stew!" I yelled back, following the delicous smell. Walking through the maze of hallways, I finally found the kitchen. "Alright, now we're cooking!" I said, rushing straight to the bread. Looking around, I saw a lot of confused chefs, but then they began to bow. "Wait, I'm royalty now?" I asked, but the laugh from nearby answered that.

"You may rise" Luna said, stepping into my vision. "Now, how did you find your way here?" Luna asked, looking at the bread in my hands.

"Food, that's what" I said, as I started searching for some regular ingrediants.

"Well, what else are you looking for besides bread?" She asked, as she watched me shuffle through a bunch of random bottles.

"Some peanut butter and honey, but if you have some smoked ham that works to" I said, not finding any peanut butter. Turning to search another cabinet, Luna stopped me.

"Just follow me, we'll find the specialist chefs" she said, walking through a door. Following her, I found myself in another part of the kitchen, and there was.....meat?

"I thought you ponies were vegetarian" I said, searching around for anything that looked like ham.

"Well, we have this variety of meat for a reason" Luna said, as I heard her footsteps close behind.

"Tell me" I said, finding some raw ham. I was getting close.

"Sometimes we have visitors from other kingdoms, and not all are vegetarians" Luna said, I just nodded my head.

"Right, makes more sense" I said, picking up a pile of ham, I sniffed. "Oh thank god, I found some" I said, picking up a nearby knife and cutting off a few slices.

"Better?" Luna asked, as I stuffed the sandwich in my mouth.

"mmph" I said, as I chewed up the meaty treat.

Author's Note

No story is ever complete without sandvich! Or sandwich, either one. Welp, last few chapters dead ahead, please do enjoy!

Thank you Super57s for proofreading.

Fun Fact: I built a mini castle out of sandwichs before.

22: The End....?

Returning to the throne room, I saw the others sitting there, looking at me as I entered. "You done running off now?" Twilight asked, I gave a quick nod as I sat down. "Good, now spin the bottle" she said, pointing to the bottle on the ground.

"Was the bottle here before I ran off?" I asked, observing it as I put my hand on it.

"Nope! I just barely got it!" Pinkie said, as I spun the bottle. It spun around a few times before it landed on Pinkie.

"Alright, how are we playing this bottle game?" I asked, and of course wasted my turn.

"Whoever spins the bottle gets to ask a question to whoever it lands on!" Pinkie said, as she started spinning it. It stopped on Celestia, and Pinkie looked all to happy. "Can I be a princess?" She asked, giving a big smile to Celestia.

"Maybe" Celestia said, Pinkie folded her arms and sat down as Celestia spun the bottle. With great luck, and magic, it landed on me. "Alright, what are most humans like?" She asked, I just laughed.

"Most are cruel, while most others are nice. I'm one of the few that are almost non-existent, while some are way too egotistical." I said, smacking the bottle into a long spin. "And I saw your magic aura on the bottle, I'm not that dumb" I said, Twilight's cheeks got a little red. After a few more seconds, the bottle landed on Discord. "Alright Discord, what can your chaotic magic do?" I asked, he gave me a quick grin.

"I'll show you" he said, with the snap of his talons, a pink cloud appeared above me and it started to rain chocolate.

"Alright, you win" I said, as I opened my mouth to get some chocolate, Pinkie joined me. Turning away from the cloud, I saw the bottle spinning really fast, only to stop on Luna, as the cloud dissapeared.

"Luna, can I wear your crown?" Discord asked, Luna gave him a funny look.

"Why do you wish to wear it?" She asked, as it teleported onto his head.

"Because it looks better than Celestia's" he said, using both his hands to adjust it. Luna quickly swiped it from his head and spun the bottle, leaving the crown off to her side. The bottle stopped on me again, with the help of more magic.

"Zach, how similar is Earth from Equestria?" She asked, I started counting reasons in my mind.

"Well they're pretty much the same, but overall Equestria is better, as humans have messed up Earth beyond repair" I said, giving them my insight on the world. "And I saw the magic again, just remember this trick won't work again" I said, spinning it. After it stopped, I lined it up to Twilight. "Oh this is good" I said, rubbing my hands together in an evil fashion.

"Oh no" Twilight said, as I thought about my question.

"When have you started liking me?" I asked, an evil grin on my face.

"That is good" Discord said, laughing his head off. Literally.

"D-do I have to answer?" Twilight asked, stuttering a bit.

"It's not your turn to ask the question" I said, she lowered her head in defeat.

"When we were in the town of Our Town" Twilight said, I gave a little chuckle from my victory. "I'll get you for that" Twilight grumbled, before spinning the bottle. Once again it landed on me, this time without the help of magic. Twilight gave me a demonic look.

"Fire away" I said, preparing for whatever question she had.

"When did you start liking me?" She asked, I felt almost all eyes on me.

"Shit" I said, as they all sat there waiting for an answer. "I submit, I've always thought you were hot" I said, her face went red as me and Discord burst into laughter at her reaction. I stopped laughing when I felt a few slaps across my face. All felt painful and were well aimed.

"Moving on" Celestia said, I spun the bottle, only for it to land on me.

"Zach, how are you doing?" I asked myself. "Doing good, got slapped not to long ago though" I replied to myself, then spun the bottle. It landed on Pinkie. "Pinkie, what are your secrets to teleporting without magic" I asked, she put a finger to her chin.

"It's a secret" she said, once more trumping my turn. Pinkie gave the bottle a spin, landing on Rarity. "When will my dress be done?" Pinkie asked Rarity.

"Well there are a few more stitches that need to be done, but you should have it around next week" Rarity said, using her magic to spin it. It landed on Applejack. "When's your next family gathering? I've got a few ideas for the decorations" she said, letting Applejack think it over.

"Well, it should be happening in around a month or two" Applejack said, before giving the bottle a spin. It landed on me. "Alright sugar cube, what do ya think of me?" She asked, Discord whistled a little tune.

"You're just like my grandma" I said, she gave me a look of confusion as I spun the bottle. Landing on Rainbow Dash, I thought it over. "Alright.....hmm......I got nothing for you Rainbow" I said, forfeiting my turn. She shrugged her shoulders and spun the bottle. It landed on Fluttershy.

"Hey Flutters, why didn't you tell us you were still a vampony?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh, I didn't tell any of you because I was afraid you would be scared of me" Fluttershy said, before giving the bottle a light hit, making it turn directly to me. "How are you still standing after all that has happened to you Zach?" She asked me, I gave it some thought.

"Well, my dad can stand a lot of pain to the point that he hardly feels it, and it kinda carried over to me so pain ain't much of a problem" I said, spinning the bottle. Landing on Discord again, I quickly thought of a question. "Since you are the god of chaos, why don't you show me some more chaos, rather then chocolate rain?" I asked, putting a grin on his face.

"I'm glad you asked" Discord said, then with a snap of his fingers, I felt something pulling from behind.

"Woah!" I yelled out, as I was pulled from my chair. With not much time to think, I quickly grabbed the table and looked behind me. "Why is there a portal there?!" I asked, seeing the hellish world on the other side.

"You asked for chaos" Discord said, as I heard him snap his fingers again. Looking back, I saw chains wrap around the princesses and the girls. "This is the perfect opportunity to take over" he said, walking over to me.

"I thought you were good!" I yelled, as he let out a sinister laugh.

"When has chaos ever been good?" He asked, as he pushed me through.

"Shit!" I yelled, before the portal closed. I twisted in the air, trying to figure out where the ground was, whilst using the pink hoodie as a miniature parachute. Unfortunately, my grip wasn't all to great, and it flew from my hands, as I continued my decent. Then I found the ground, as I slammed into it, knocking me out cold.

~~~~~~BACK IN THE CASTLE~~~~~~

"My plans are in motion!" Discord said, dancing around.

"Why are you doing this?!" Celestia asked, anger running through her at his sudden betrayal.

"Well, as you know, chaos never stays below order" he said, walking around them, using his magic to start summoning more portals.

"Then why did you send Zach away?" Luna asked, as Discord made a few more portals.

"Well based on certain information from a certain figure, I have learned that Zach is much more of a threat than his lame puns and stupid ideas" Discord said, making a final portal.

"Who is this figure?" Twilight asked, before something grabbed her.

"Who else knows him like me?" Frank said, before throwing Twilight through the portal. "Now to take over this childish world" he said, throwing Luna through the second portal. "And I shall rule over all" he said directly into Celestia's ear, before throwing her into the final one.

"Just like Zach would say, 'Damn you Frank!'" Pinkie said, before Discord teleported her and the others off to an unknown destination.

"Oh that was good" Discord said, as he sat in Celestia's throne, while casting chaotic magic.

"What are you doing?" Frank asked, as he used his new found magic to throw Discord from the throne. "This is my world now, you're just second in command" he said, before letting out an evil laugh.

"Yes yes I know" Discord said, as he settled for Luna's throne. "So, how about we get some of my friends here?" Discord asked, as he got up to prepare the magic.

"Fire away" Frank said, as Discord summoned three portals. After a few seconds, a few figures walked through.

"Equestria is ours" Discord said to the new comers, who all started to do their maniacal laughing.

~~~~~The End?~~~~~

Author's Note

That is the end. What a boring/dramatic ending, it's almost like it's not finished. But it is, :trollestia:

Hope you all have enjoyed, I know I have, writing this was hella fun! Especially when I know so many of you are enjoying my work! I will see you all in the comments or on my page, peace out.

P.S: Stay tuned:moustache:

Proofread by: Sniper57s

2: Welcome to Equestria!

Author's Note

UPDATE: Errors fixed, major changes to story to make it smoother (sorta)

2: Welcome to Equestria!

I opened my eyes, the couches were still in their spots? I looked around, the living room was still intact. "Hmm, someone must have slipped me something" I said to myself, brushing it off as a drug trip. I walked over to my PS3 and pressed the power button. I walked back over to the couch and grabbed the controller, I looked at my T.V., seeing it not on, I got back up so I could go turn it on. I pressed the power button, but nothing happened. I tried again, same result. I looked at the PS3, the power button didn't have a light. I looked at my computer, but my computer wasn't there, instead there was a huge hole.

I walked over to it, my heart skipped a beat. I was inside some sort of crystal structure, and what was even more confusing was the fact that a pony was staring at me. I nodded my head a few times then turned around, aiming to sit back down. Wait, the pony was staring at me!

I ran back to the hole and looked out at the pony, and she was still looking at me. We stared at each other, studying each other. She wasn't exactly a pony, since she had the body of a human, a horn atop her head, and wings protuding from her back. Her body, which I imagine to be covered in fur, was a lavender color, her mane have a pink strip in it. Her body was also covered by a blue dress with stars on it. Her rear seemed to be lacking cover, since I could see a tattoo on her rear, which was a star surrounded by stars.

After a good minute or two of examining each other, something in my mind told me to scream. So I did. She quickly returned a screm before running behind the nearest pillar. I stopped screaming, "it worked?" I asked out loud. Climbing out of what was my living room, I ran behind the pillar opposite of her.

I looked around, searching for any means of escape. I don't know why, but I didn't feel safe. Spotting the nearby door, i saw that it was slightly ajar. I peeked around my pillar, she was doing the same. I quickly turned back to the door and ran for it, hoping I could make it. I was almost there, but they started glowing a lavender color and slammed shut. I ran straight into it.

"What the hell?!" I asked myself in annoyance and shock. I looked back to see her walking towards me, her face that of panic and worry. "Shit" was all I could say before she knocked me out with some for of a sleep spell.

~~~~~1 Hour Later~~~~`

I groaned as I woke up, my head hurt with a throbbing pain. I tried to rub my eyes, but I felt something catch my arms. Looking down, I saw that I no longer had my clothes on, all that was left was my boxers and the chains around my feet and legs. They felt a little loose though. Recognizing it as a cell from any castle's dungeon, but with a crystal finish. There wasn't much in the cell, besides a bucket, which I assumed was the toilet. Looking at the cell across from mine, I saw a lack of anyone to talk to. "Does this always happen when people get captured? Take their clothes and hang them on a wall?" I yelled out, expecting a response for some reason, even with no visible life it sight.

"What are you?" I heard a female voice call out, making me realize how much I wasn't alone.

"Uh, why do you care?" I asked the voice.

"Because I've never seen your species before, and I would like to know" the voice responded. Slowly walking into view from the left side, i saw the pony from before.

"You again?" I asked, slightly happy to see a familiar face, yet upset to see her as the one who practically put me here. She pulled out a notepad with a pen and wrote down what i assumed was my question.

"Yes me, and I want to apologize for starting off on the wrong terms" she said, before clearing her throat. "My name is-"

"Gonna stop you right there" I said, cutting her off. She threw me a look of annoyance.

"Why?" She asked, I was tempted to laugh, but held it back.

"Probably because i'm hanging from the wall in loose chains while being half naked" I said, causing her to blush.

"R-right, sorry about that" she said, before waving her hands to something to the right. A guard stepped into view, my clothes in his hands, kinda folded, but they definetly had the look of someone searching through them.

"You took care of the coat right?" I asked, which caused him to laugh a bit. He stopped laughing as he brought my clothes in, I was a little upset when I saw new dirt marks on my coat. He left the clothes just below my feet, before turning around. As he walked out of the cell, he said something into the lavender pony's ear, causing her to have a look of slight alarm.

"Looks like we'll have to properly introduce ourselves later, I have something to do!" She said, before running off towards her destination. The guard followed her, leaving me behind with my clothes and my thoughts. I looked down, realizing I was still hanging from the loose chains.

"You've got to be shitting me" I said, as i stared in defeat at my clothes. I had no idea how long I was going to hang here, and dreaded the thought.

15: Talking cat and angry sparkles!

I awoke from my sleep, sitting up, I felt all the sand sticking onto my back. I looked at the hand mirror on an end table that was by the bed. I reached over, grabbing it, I looked into it. I saw my reflection, confirming that it had worked, but then I felt a headache start to form. "Damned side affects" I said, looking on the other side of the bed, I noticed that Fluttershy was no longer in the bed. I got out of the bed, heading towards the front door of the house, I heard some one singing in another part of the house.

I walked back up the stairs, hearing the singing in a room to the left, I walked to it. I twisted the doorknob, opening it all the way, only to find out that it was the bathroom. I froze from embarrassment, because Fluttershy was in the shower and there were no curtains. She was still singing, her back to me, but she turned around when she scrubbed her hair. Seeing me, she froze in place, an intense blush forming on her face.

"Well......sorry?" I said breaking the silence, only for her to scream and throw a bottle of shampoo at me, hitting me straight in the head. My head went with the motion, only for me to fall backwards.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry Zach!" I heard Fluttershy say, but I just lay there motionless, for I had been scarred for life for the third time now. I lifted my head a little, seeing that she had gotten out of the shower and put a towel on, I relaxed a little and started getting up.

"No no, it's my fault, I opened the door because I was looking for you, and had no idea that you were showering" I said, now rubbing the bump on my forehead. I grabbed the shampoo off the floor, and it's name caught my eye. "Zap Apple conditioner, gives you a morning buzz?" I read out loud, looking back at Fluttershy I saw that almost her entire face was red from embarrassment.

"I-I can explain?" She said, hiding behind her mane.

"What's there to explain? It's just shampoo" I said, putting the bottle on the bathroom counter. "By the way, you look nice when your hairs wet" I said walking away, I heard Fluttershy close the door. I walked back down the stairs, then decided to explore the place. I walked through the front room, where a little bunny was glaring at me, as if I was the town criminal or something. I proceeded to the next room, where I was greeted with the kitchen. I ran straight to the fridge....wait, fridge?

"What in the hell? I thought they didn't have electricity!" I said, wondering when they even made an operating fridge when they still had hay for roofs.

"It doesn't run on electricity, it runs on magic" Fluttershy said from behind me. I turned around, seeing that Fluttershy was wearing a beautiful green dress, I made a whistling sound, causing a blush to appear on her face.

"Looking good" I said, she made a little 'eep' sound, then hid behind her mane. "Eh, I have that affect on girls, because I'm to smexy" I said, doing a fabio hair flip, making my hair become extremely messed up. Fluttershy giggle a little.

"Your weird" she said, smiling as she walked over to a counter. She reached up to a cabinet, opening it then pulling out a box of 'mighty wheats'.

"Most of the stuff here sounds like stuff back home" I said, looking at the box of cereal. "Reminds me of that mini wheats cereal I hid in my footlocker" I said, reaching in and pulling out one piece. It looked exactly like them, straight down to the sugar coating. Shrugging my shoulders, I plopped it in my mouth, only to realize that it had a little more sugar on it then expected.

Fluttershy watched as I made some weird faces in response tothe sugar, then decided to tell me. "Oh yeah, this is the over sugared kind that Pinkie gave me" she said, pulling one out and eating it. "But their still tasty" she said, eating it without making a face. I swallowed the one I had received, then decided to skip breakfast for now.

"That was super sugary" I said, getting up from the table. I failed to relize that I had sat down without acknoledging it. I was about to say something to Fluttershy, but stopped the I heard knocking on the front door. "I'll get it!" I yelled, dashing to the door. Swinging it open, I was met with a startled Twilight.

"You spooked me" she said, re-composing herself. "Is Fluttershy here?" She asked, looking behind me to see her walking up behind me.

"Yes Twilight, what is it?" She asked, then Twilight pulled out a pet kennel from behind.

"I found her outside my castle, and decided to bring her here" she said, handing it to Fluttershy. Out of curiosity, I peeked inside, only to see my favorite feline.

"Masquerade! Even in a different world your fat!" I said, grabbing it from Fluttershy. I opened it, grabbing my cat from the kennel, I hugged her. She hissed then scratched my nose, but I didn't mind, because her claws were short.

"I guess we found the owner" Twilight said laughing, we all shared a laugh, then stopped when the cat leaped from my arms, landing on a table nearby.

"I do not wish to be held" she said, surprising me, Fluttershy, and Twilight. "What? All animals are able to talk, you just didn't take the time to listen, Zach" she spoke again, then started giving herself a tongue bath.

"Well okay then" I said, slowly turning away from my cat. "What else is there we should know about?" I asked Twilight.

"Well, we teleported the room out of my castle, and construction should be done soon for re-creating a place for you to stay" she explained, I gave an impressed whistle.

"Well that's great" I said, then remembered that I haven't told her yet. "Oh yeah! I'm also n-"

"No longer a vampire?" Fluttershy said, beating me to the good part. "I checked this morning, and you talk in your sleep" she said, I instantly grabbed her.

"What did I say?!" I asked, she looked completely frightened from how quick I did that, but calmed down after a few seconds.

"You said something about a Jenna" she said, I just stared at her, then let her go. "Why? Is it important?" She asked, I just shaked my head.

"It's a tale for another time" I said, thinking about what I had just heard. 'I never talk in my sleep' I thought, then I dismissed the thought, mainly because of how this world was, I might be changing slowly.

"So Zach, care to explain the vortex we came through?" Masquerade asked, bringing me from my thoughts.

"Not a single clue" I said, shrugging my shoulders. I looked at Twilight, thinking about what to say. "Well, thanks for bringing my cat back, I guess" I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Your welcome" she said, she turned around and was about to leave. "Want to come along?" She asked, looking back at me. I shrugged my shoulders and stepped outside.

"Sure" I said, turning around, I quickly told Fluttershy something. "Watch her for me, she might need a bit of attention" I said, she nodded before I turned around and started walking with Twilight. She started walking when I was just behind her, so I decided to follow the leader instead of walking with the leader.

We walked in silence for a bit, looking around, trying to strike up a conversation. "So Zach, can I ask a few questions?" Twilight asked, slowing down so we were walking side by side.

"Fire away" I said, she nodded her head.

"So what is the human world like?" She asked, I started chuckling a little. "What's so funny?" She asked, making me laugh a bit louder. I calmed down, then looked at her with a serious face.

"That place is a hellhole, nothing is good about the Earth anymore, because we humans turned that place to shit with our inventions" I said, earning a scared look from Twilight. "We have the technology there to keep everyone healthy and safe, but we're greedy, and want little pieces of paper for anyone to have it." I finished, Twilight looked worried.

"So, nothing like Equestria?" She asked, I just shook my head no. "Okay....next question, how old are you?" She asked, avoiding anything else about other humans.

"Fluttershy asked me that last night, but I can answer again. 14 years old, 15 on May 5th" I said, Twilight had a notebook and pen in her hand now.

"Alright, what is your favorite things in life?" She asked, I made a devious grin.

"I love video games, especially the ones that are filled with blood, gore, and destruction!" I said, I heard a pencil snap, I looked at Twilight to see that she was now scared shitless. "What?" I asked, she just stared at me.

"You have a problem, and I am NOT leaving you alone until we fix it!" She said, grabbing the back of my shirt. She started pulling me along, gaining confused looks from the other residents of Ponyville. I looked left to see Applejack walking towards us.

"Alright, what'd you do to deserve this?" She asked, walking along side me as I was pulled.

"Said that I love video games that are bloody" I said, making her stop for a second, then continue walking.

"Let me guess, sh-" she was cut off when Pinkie's head suddenly appeared under her hat.

"She said that you got problems and she won't let you leave her sight until she gets rid of those problems and gets you to focus on liking a different type of game genre, then she will lead you around town and give you a tour then take you to where your place is being finished!" Pinkie said in one long breath of air, making my jaw drop to the ground, almost literally.

"How do you fit under her hat like that?" I asked, then Pinkie dissapeared back underneath it, then came parachuting down from above. "I give up" I said, then Twilight continued to drag me. After about ten more minutes of being dragged, we arrived at her castle, then a thought came to mind. "You could've just teleported us here, that would've been way faster" I said, then she stopped to face palm real quick.

"Whatever! Just hold on a second" she said, then we teleported into the room I had first appeared in. Once more, my body had no idea what happened, but I held it in and ran to a plant real quick.

"These are conveniently placed at every location we teleport to" I said, walking away from the plant. Twilight just gave me an unamused look, then summoned two chairs and one table.

"You sit there, and I'll sit here" she said, seating herself. Me being me, I didn't want to sit in the chair, so I laid down on the table, earning an angry snort from Twilight.

"Chairs are boring" I said, closing my eyes and fake sleeping. Before I even knew what happened, I found myself face first in a plant, luckily it wasn't the one I used.

"Now then, are you going to cooperate?" She asked me as I walked away from the plant, dirt all over my face. I sat down in the chair, much to Twilight's disgust, I brushed all the dirt onto the table.

"I have no idea what cooperation is" I said, making Twilight even angrier then before.

"How much do I need to teach you?!" She practically yelled at me. I waved a hand in front of my face, then reached into my pocket and pulled out a Tic-Tac.

"Here, this will help with your breath" I said, plugging my nose with one hand, while handing her the Tic-Tac with the other. Last thing I saw before getting knocked out, was Twilight's mane and tail lighting on fire, while here fur changed to white.

Author's Note

There are a lot of references here, most may not know them, but some might. If you know them, then I will make you a bass, then drop it! (drop the bass, get it?)

Fun Fact: I'm a sucker for my cat, she's just so cute! Unless you hold her, then she's just a nightmare from hell's personal hell....

So funny I forgot to laugh...

Screw you to Frank, screw you too.