Not Just on The Sidelines

by Tennis Match Fan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Other, Comedy, Equestria Girls
Length: 3379

Tennis Match and Cloudy Kicks, due to a lack of imagination, decide to not participate in the Battle of the Bands. Don't be fooled, just because the athletes sit this one out doesn't mean they're not up to mischief.

The prospect of competition excited Tennis Match more than the actual participation in competition, at least in the case of the Battle of the Bands. When she and Cloudy Kicks hit a creative wall, they decide to not participate.
It might appear that they're harmless spectators, but the duo can and do get into mischief.

Starring two background humans from Equestria Girls.

Published 2014-12-25 21:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-25 21:30:03 UTC

We don't do music

The clock on the wall read 2:43. Below it sat two girls, sheets of paper laid out on the table in front of them. One, who tapped a pen against her chin, had pale yellow skin, bright turquoise eyes, and short turquoise hair. The second, with light indigo skin and pink eyes, wore her blonde streaked hair in a ponytail. The expressions on their faces were ones of complete confusion and frustration.

"I'm starting to think we aren't cut out for the music business," muttered the first girl, Tennis Match. She crumpled up a paper in her hand and tossed it forward. It hit the ground and bounced forward several inches, bumping up against the leg of the desk in front of them.

"C'mon, what kind of band would we be if we can't even think of a good name?" she complained.

"Not a very good one," her best friend, Cloudy Kicks, admitted. "Do you think we should have invited Heath to join the band?" Tennis Match rolled her eyes at the mention of the awkward baseball player.

"No."

"Well, anyways, just think of all the lyrics we would have to write it we did have to be in a band," Cloudy added. Tennis Match dropped her head on the table, an image coming to her: sitting at a piano, trying to desperately get words right, and papers of sheet music piled up around her.

"No," she groaned. "Just no." As she lay there, Cloudy gathered the papers up.

"Just think of it this way, Tennis," she suggested, tapping them into a neat pile. "We would've lost to the Dazzlings anyway. They're the best singers ever! Plus they thought of the Battle of the Bands idea, so there's that. We're just saving ourselves humiliation, promise." Tennis Match lifted her head off the table to stare at Cloudy.

"Yeah, you're right," she agreed. Cloudy flipped her ponytail as she passed the papers to Tennis Match.

"I totally want to kick Rose Heart's butt, though," she continued. "She's a complete, uh, bad person. Insulting my soccer skills! She's a fashionista! She's not qualified to judge me!" Cloudy folded her arms indignantly.

"That jerk doesn't know a thing," Tennis Match responded, reading through the band names they had suggested already. "Ugh, what were we thinking with Athlete Power?" Cloudy, however, was not paying attention to her grumblings.

"I can't believe I was her friend!" She continued. "Rose Heart's just too full of herself to care about anyone else!"

"She has stolen Blueberry's designs on occasion," Tennis murmured, only half paying attention. "I still wanna participate, you know? Maybe we could work as judges and disqualify everyone we hate! That Care Root dude especially- man I hate Techies!"

"If I was in the competition, I would have blackmailed her!" Cloudy exclaimed, rising from her seat so suddenly Tennis Match jumped in her own seat.

"You don't have to be in the competition if you want to blackmail her," Tennis Match answered, annoyance flaring in her tone of voice. Suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into Tennis Match's mind.

"That's it!" She cried, standing up abruptly as well.

"What's it?" Cloudy asked curiously.

"We don't have to be in the Battle of the Bands to battle!" Tennis Match explained excitedly. "We can just watch." She rubbed her hands together like a villain anticipating victory. "Watch as Rose Heart's instrument fails... And Mystery's voice sounds like a lead balloon... And the Techies disappear off the face of the planet! We can ruin the Battle!"

"Oh, I get it." Cloudy grinned and mimicked the hand rubbing motion. "We're gonna kidnap Scribble Dee!" Tennis Match stopped rubbing her hands and stared at her fellow athlete.

"Tempting as that is, she's not the main one I have an issue with," she answered. "And that's not the plan."

"We sabotage everyone's acts, right?" Cloudy tried again. Tennis Match nodded, her turquoise hair bobbing up and down.

"Yeah!"

"OMG, that's such a great idea!" Cloudy exclaimed. "I can't wait to see the look on Rose Heart's face when we do whatever it is we're gonna do to her!"

"I know! This is gonna be a blast!" Tennis Match sat down. "Come on, we need a list of supplies."

"On it!" Cloudy answered, already beginning to scribble a list of items on a piece of paper. Tennis Match grinned in anticipation as she started her own list. The Dazzlings, and the Battle of the Bands, too, were the best things that had ever happened to CHS!

After a moment, Tennis Match realized she had one thing written down, and her mind was a dead blank with ideas.

"You know what? Screw lists," she announced, crumpling the paper into a ball again. "Just bring scissors."

~*~

The next day, the participating bands were scattered throughout the gymnasium. Thunderstruck, lead by the Rocker Thunderbass, was standing several feet away from the judges. Tragic Comedy, headed by Golden Hazel, sat on the opposite side of the gym.

From her spot on the bleachers, Tennis Match could see the Planeteers arguing with the members of Sweet Lyres, Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstrings.

"Look, Cloudy." She nudged her friend in the arm and pointed. "Bonnie and Lyra aren't with their instrument."

"They're playing a piano duet, right?" Cloudy asked, following Tennis Match's arm.

"Yeah. Of 'Let It Go,'" she confirmed. Cloudy pursed her lips.

"Ugh. Frozen was a decent movie, but the extra attention ruined it," she murmured. "Let's go."

"I thought we'd never get started!" Tennis Match got up and followed Cloudy to the other end of the bleachers. Nobody noticed as the two athletes slipped backstage. Luckily, all the Bands were in the audience, so they were alone.

"Look!" Tennis Match spotted the piano and ran over. "Isn't it just beautiful? Perfect to play an overrated song on."

"And perfect for ruining," Cloudy added. "How are we doing this?"

"Just watch." Tennis Match pried open the top of the piano. Reaching in, she grabbed a wire. "Do you have scissors?"

"Uh, yeah." Cloudy passed her friend the tool before asking, "Um, is this vandalism?"

"Maybe?" Tennis Match responded as she reached in. "I checked, if we damage two strings it'll cost them, like, twenty bucks tops." Without another moment's hesitation, Tennis Match closed the scissors. The piano wire flew back, barely missing Tennis Match's face.

"Dang it!" She exclaimed, rubbing her cheek. "That could've hurt."

"Oh, let me cut the next string!" Cloudy exclaimed.

"Sure thing!" Tennis Match moved over to let Cloudy have some space. "Cut the D note, okay? That's the most common." After Cloudy nodded, Tennis Match passed the scissors back, and Cloudy reached into the piano. In the next moment, a second string was cut in two. The two girls high-fived.

"What instrument is Rose Heart playing?" Tennis Match asked.

"The harmonica," Cloudy answered immediately, her voice dripping with contempt. "The harmonica. How crazy is that?"

"Pretty lame," Tennis Match agreed as they walked back to the bleachers. "Where is she, anyway?" She scanned the gymnasium for sight of the fashionista. Finally, Rose Heart was spotted sitting with Aqua Blossom, Blueberry Cake, and Scott Green on the middle set of bleachers.

"There she is!" Tennis Match exclaimed.

"I see her, too," Cloudy replied. "You distract her while I swipe the instrument."

"Sounds like a plan!" Tennis Match held a hand up for a fist bump. Cloudy grinned and complied. They left their seat on the bleachers again; Tennis Match went straight up, while Cloudy stealthily crept around back.

"Rose Heart! Blueberry! Scott Green!" Tennis Match exclaimed in fake horror. "Guys, Snips and Snails are raiding the makeup pantry for revenge!"

"Oh no!" Rose Heart's red irises dilated in horror. "Come on, girls, and Scott, we have to stop them!"

"Right away!" Aqua Blossom agreed. She, Blueberry, and Scott followed Rose Heart's lead and ran out of the dream. Hands on hips, Tennis Match watched the Fashionistas leave.

"Did you know they had a makeup pantry?" She asked Cloudy when she popped up from behind the bleachers.

"No, and I can't say I'm surprised," Cloudy responded. "But, wow! This is almost too easy!" She motioned to the wooden case on the bleachers. Tennis Match grabbed it in one swift movement.

"Cloudy, slip this into Amp Atomic's locker," she directed. "Don't tell Rose Heart right away, wait until they were supposed to go on before revealing Amp 'stole' the harmonica." Tennis Match made air quotes as she said stole.

"Aye aye, captain!" Cloudy saluted Tennis Match and ran out of the gymnasium. Tennis Match hopped down the bleachers and jogged over to Mystery Mint, who was still standing with Thunderstruck.

"Mystery!" Tennis Match hissed, tapping her on the shoulder. Mystery turned to look behind her. The expression on her face was less than happy.

"Can it wait?" She asked. "Trixie's about to go on." Tennis Match shook her head.

"No way. I just got you these" -Tennis Match held out a palm- "to make you sing better."

"Really?" Mystery asked, eying the items in her hand doubtfully. "What are these?"

"Breath mints," Tennis Match responded promptly. The mints were pale blue in color, each about the size of a penny. "Guaranteed to make you sing better than ever!"

"Okay?" Mystery cautiously took when and began to put it in her mouth.

"Wait wait wait!" Tennis Match exclaimed, nearly knocking it out of Mystery's hand.

"What was that for?" Mystery asked.

"You need to eat it right before you sing," Tennis Match whispered as Trixie and the Illusions took to the stage. "Otherwise it won't work." Mystery looked at Tennis Match, then she dropped her gaze to observe the mints.

"Alright," she agreed, almost reluctantly. "Thanks, Tennis Match." Tennis Match opened her mouth to reply, but she couldn't speak before Trixie began to sing.

"You'd better believe, I've got tricks up my sleeve," she sang. As soon as Mystery had her back turned, Tennis Match ran back to the bleachers. Cloudy was sitting their already, waiting for her.

"What did you do?" Cloudy whispered as Tennis Match joined her.

"I gave Mystery some mints fused with something to make her voice all wonkey when she sings," Tennis Match explained, crossing her legs and watching the Illusions' performance.

"Really? Where'd you get those?" Cloudy asked with wide eyes. Tennis Match smirked.

"Cloud Kicker."

"My cousin?" Cloudy gasped, her eyes growing wider. Tennis Match rolled her eyes.

"I debated on telling you, but I decided to surprise you," she explained. "Surprised?"

"Surprised," Cloudy confirmed. "Hey, do you have the band schedule?"

"Sure," Tennis Match answered. She grabbed a wrinkled sheet of paper off the bleachers. "After Trixie and the Illusions is the Adagio Dazzle and the Dazzlings, followed by Thunderbass and Thunderstruck, Sweet Lyres, Rose Heart and the Fashion Gurus, and Octavia performing solo." Tennis Match held up her pointer finger. "And before you asked why I read the full name of each band, it's fun. Don't judge."

"I wasn't going to," Cloudy responded. The two girls smirked.

"Looks like Trixie's over," Tennis Match remarked. "Thank goodness. Wanna watch the Dazzlings?"

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Cloudy agreed.

Tennis Match and Cloudy walked up to the next set of bleachers. They each took a seat on either side of Nolan North.

"Now you're fallin' under our spell," sang the captivating voice of Adagio Dazzle. Tennis Match felt herself swaying to the music. She was dimly aware of the students behind her rocking side-to-side as well.

"We've got the music makes you move it..." As the Dazzlings sang on, Tennis Match forgot about the rest of the world, as if her senses had gone fuzzy. The lyrics echoed in her ears, and the only feeling she felt was a desire to crush everyone else. Maybe she wasn't good enough for a band- but neither would anyone else.

Suddenly, Adagio's laugh echoed through the gym. The song was over. Tennis Match could think clearly again. She wasn't obsessed with crushing everyone else- although that was a high priority. She could concentrate on other things, like Nolan complaining about a stomach cramp. Not that she wanted to.

"Let's go watch, Tennis!" Cloudy suggested, hopping up.

"Great idea!" Tennis Match followed her down and up to the front, where they had a clear view of the stage. Thunderstruck was already preparing. Cherry Crash sat behind a drum set, Valhallen next to her. Thunderbass stood at the front, a bass guitar in his hand. Crimson Napalm stood to the left, a black electric guitar ready for action in his hands. Mystery Mint stood right up front, her own guitar in hand.

"Watch!" Tennis Match whispered as Mystery popped a mint into her mouth. A snicker escaped her mouth. "This is gonna be good!"

"It gets better! She's passing them out!" Cloudy giggled. Tennis Match shook her head at Mystery's foolish action.

"Generous to a fault, isn't she?" Tennis Match remarked right as the band began to play.

"Yeah, A STORm is threatenING MY friends toDAAAAAAAAY!" Mystery sang into her microphone, then she almost immediately covered her mouth. While the rest of the gymnasium stared in disbelief and disgust, Tennis Match and Cloudy worked hard to stifle giggles.

Thunderbass tried to sing, "If I DON'T GET them SHEEEEEEEELter I'm gonna let them fAAAAADE awwwaaaay!" Tennis Match started laughing outright. His terrible singing was only added to in embarrassed by the crimson blush spreading across his face. Cloudy slapped her knee as she laughed.

"Man, this is precious!" she exclaimed. Tennis Match stared at her through her laughter.

"Precious memories need to be saved!" Tennis Match remarked. She whipped out her phone and began to record Thunderstruck's performance.

"GIVE us shelllltER!" Thunderbass finished the song at last. Everyone quieted down, and giggles turned to glares.

"Oh, Mystery!" Tennis Match called, waving as the band came within ear shot. "I'm really sorry those mints I gave you didn't work. I should have never trusted Scribble Dee!" Cloudy snorted.

"S-Scribble Dee did this?" Mystery asked, her eyes brimming with embarrassed tears. "But I thought we were friends!"

"Battle of the Bands." Tennis Match leaned back and rested her head in her arms. "It does stuff to you."

"I should say so," grumbled Cherry Crash. "I'm gonna go beat the stuffing out of that techno geek." As Thunderstruck left the gym, Tennis Match rubbed her hands together like an evil mastermind.

"The downfall of the techies..." she muttered, trailing off for the added effect. Cloudy elbowed her.

"Don't let this moment go!" She murmured. Tennis Match turned to the stage. Lyra and Bon Bon sat at their piano, trying to play "Let It Go." However, almost every other key they pressed resulted in no sound. Confused, their singing was all over the place.

"And that's why you don't rely on instruments," Tennis Match smirked in satisfaction. "Hold on, I have an idea." She leaped down the bleachers and handed some scissors to Care Root, another Techie she hated.

"Hold on to these for me," she told him. "And you aren't allowed to tell anyone I gave them to you or I will come to your house and wack you in the head with a tennis ball, tie up your family, and raid your pantry. Got it?" She stood nose-to-nose with Care Root, who looked slightly disturbed, eyes opened wide in shock. He nodded, unable to respond. Tennis Match nodded in satisfaction. "BRB!" She ran up to the stage, Lyra and Bon Bon were struggling through their performance.

"Guys!" She hissed. "Care Root cut your piano strings! I saw him with scissors!" Bon Bon, who was closest to her, sent her a glare. Tennis Match assumed that meant she would kill Care Root later.

"Miss Match, please do not interrupt performances," Principal Celestia chided her. Tennis Match turned around.

"Oops, sorry." She smirked and swaggered back to her seat.

"What'd you do?" Cloudy asked.

"Tell you later," Tennis Match replied. "Are they almost done?"

"Wouldn't you know that?" Cloudy retorted. "You were just up there."

Feeling slightly annoyed, Tennis Match switched the subject. "Rose Heart's band is up next, right?"

"Right," Cloudy confirmed. "When do we tell her?"

"Just after Principal Celestia tells them they have to forfeit. Knowing Rose Heart, she'd keep the battle waiting until she finds her instrument." Tennis Match smirked. At that moment, Lyra and Bon Bon sang the last notes of "Let it Go." There was no applause as they wheeled their broken instrument off stage.

"Wait for it," Cloudy murmured. "Wait for it-"

"Where's my harmonica?" Rose Heart yelled. "We can't go on if I don't have my harmonica!" Tennis Match and Cloudy snickered as Rose Heart searched wildly for her instrument, but she had no luck.

Although they couldn't hear exactly what he said, Tennis Match could see Scott said something to Rose Heart.

"I will absolutely not go on without my harmonica!" Rose Heart yelled. Scott shrank away from her. Principal Celestia cleared her throat.

"Rose Heart and the Fashion Gurus, please come up on stage now," she called. The band's name stirred up snickers and giggles from the audience.

"Uh, Principal Celestia?" Rose Heart called, running forward. Tennis Match hopped down several seats to hear her complaints better, Cloudy following.

"I'm sorry we can't go on until I have my instrument," Rose Heart stated sweetly. Principal Celestia stared at her nonchalantly.

"We are sorry, Miss Heart, but if you cannot perform at the appointed time, you and your band will be disqualified," she answered. Tennis Match snorted.

"'The appointed time?'" She whispered in disbelief. "She sounds like Drama Letter!" Rose Heart continued to argue with the principal until Blueberry and Scott came up behind her.

"We're still the winners, Rose Heart," Blueberry assured her. "We'll always be better than Cherry Crash's stinkin' band!"

"Will you be performing?" Vice Principal Luna asked, lips pursed. Rose Heart pursed her lips as well and stared defiantly at the authoritative figure. Tennis Match held her breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Fine," Rose Heart grumbled. She turned away and kicked at the ground.

"Attention students!" Principal Celestia announced. "The band 'Rose Heart and the Fashion Gurus' Wil not be performing in the Battle of the Bands.

"Woo hoo!" Cloudy cheered with several other students. Rose Heart shot death glares all around the gymnasium as she stomped back to her seat.

"Now." Tennis Match elbowed Cloudy. Cloudy grinned and jumped off the bleachers.

"Rose Heart!" She called. Tennis Match watched as Rose Heart shoot daggers at Cloudy.

"What is it, Cloudy Hick?" She asked.

"I don't even live in the country!" Cloudy snapped. Rose Heart rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, it was the only thing that rhymed."

"Oh yeah, Rose Fart?" Cloudy challenged her. Rose Heart colored as several students giggled.

"Is that the best you got, Cloudy B-"

"Oooookay," Tennis Match interrupted hastily, grabbing Cloudy's shoulders and gently pulling her back. "I think that's enough insults for one day. What Cloudy was going tell you was that we saw Amp Atomic put your harmonica in his backpack a couple minutes ago!" Tennis Match grinned so widely she was sure Rose Heart fell for the charade.

"They're lying!" Sweet Leaf cried, standing up. Everyone turned to stare at her.

"What? N-no we're not!" Tennis Match protested.

"Everything we did was legal!" Cloudy added. Tennis Match glared at her, adding a cut it out gesture.

"Oh please," Sweet Leaf answered with a roll of her eyes. "I was right there when you took her harmonica, and you didn't even notice."

"Were not!" Tennis Match cried, holding up a fist. "Dirty liar!"

"Don't you call me a liar!" Sweet Leaf shouted.

"I want my harmonica!" Rose Heart whined.

"Well shut up, then!" Cloudy screamed at her. And so it went, Sweet Leaf and Tennis Match arguing while Rose Heart and Cloudy Kicks spewed insult upon insult at each other.

Across the gym, Adagio nudged Sonata and Aria.

"Look, girls. More negative energy," she told them, pointing at the scene. Aria and Sonata snickered.

Author's Note

Did you know IDW got away with Applejack saying "Damn" in the comics? They used her finger as a censor. :scootangel: