I'm Sorry it Had to be You

by Moon Quill

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad
Length: 3677

I don't like doing this, but my animals need to eat.

All of my animal friends depend on me to keep them safe. To keep them well-fed. And I try, I really do. It's just, there's only so much a pony can do on her own.
I'm sorry it was you. I try to give everyone an equal chance. But somepony is always hurt.
I don't want to. But my animals need to eat.
I promise I'll be gentle.
I'll be quick.
I'm sorry.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-31 02:30:04 UTC

I'm Sorry

The world is always beautiful in the morning, and Ponyville was no exception. It was still very early; Luna was still stowing away the moon and stars, and Celestia had not yet fully risen the sun, but still, everything was peaceful. The sky was tinted rich shades of red, orange, and magenta, the clouds hung gold and lavender on the horizon, and the grass sparkled with dew. Most of the ponies were still asleep. However, in a certain cottage by the Everfree forest, plenty of creatures were already awake.

Fluttershy hummed a cheerful tune to herself as she flew around her garden, a bag of birdseed and dried berries clutched in her hooves. She neared one of the many bird feeders strung throughout the trees in her yard and sprinkled the mixture into it, smiling as five different birds landed on the feeder and chirped their thanks before tucking in. "Why, you're welcome, little friends," Fluttershy said, smiling at their enthusiasm.

There was a creak and a squawk as a buzzard landed on a nearby branch. Had Fluttershy not loved all her animals unconditionally, she may have been repulsed by its appearance: its body was coated in greasy black and white feathers, and its wrinkled pink head looked shriveled and scaly. It stared at her balefully with a beady black eye, and, almost on cue, its stomach rumbled loudly. A big brown bear was close behind, lumbering underneath the branch where the vulture sat and giving Fluttershy the same look.

These looks wrought an alarming change in Fluttershy; her smile dripped off her face, she slumped, and her eyes went from cheerful to unbearably sad in seconds. "Oh, are you sure that all your food is gone?" she said, with the air of somepony grasping at straws. The bear and the vulture nodded solemnly.

Fluttershy sighed deeply, and her eyes shone with tears briefly before she took a deep breath. "Alright, then," she said, with a very forced smile. "If you'll just be patient a little bit longer, I promise, I'll have some more food for you very soon. For now, why don't you go see if there are some berries you can snack on, Mr. Bear?"

The bear perked up at the word 'berries' nodded, then turned and lumbered away. The buzzard looked at the yellow pegasus and squawked in protest.

Fluttershy winced in sympathy. "I know, Buzzy," she said sadly. "I'm sorry you have to wait, but there isn't much I can do about it. Maybe you could try some of the birdseed?"

The buzzard hopped over to a nearby feeder, glared at the food inside, and took a chomp. It was clear it didn't like the mixture; it was making gagging noises as it ate, and anypony could see that it made a clear effort to swallow the stuff down. Once it choked down the beakful, the buzzard glared at Fluttershy, before flapping its wings and disappearing into the sky.

Fluttershy sadly went into her cottage, flying through the open window. She balanced the birdseed on her back and shuffled over to the cabinet where she kept her animal friend's food. Opening it, she placed the birdseed back inside and closed it again.

However, instead of walking away, she knocked out a rhythm on the cabinet door with a hoof: two slow knocks, two fast, and three more slow. Then, she opened the door again, only this time, the interior was completely different. It was more like a freezer, with metal walls coated in frost that was tinged slightly pink, and icicles hanging from the ceiling. Other than that, it was empty.

Fluttershy let out a strangled whining noise. So, it was all gone, then. She hated having to do this, but her animal friends needed to eat.

She closed the cabinet and knocked three times in rapid succession, reverting the interior back to what it had been before. That unicorn had been very kind to enchant her cupboard like this all those years ago; and even better, he didn't ask too many questions.

Sniffling slightly, Fluttershy flew upwards to a small glass jar on a shelf. The shelf was too high for most of her animals to reach, and for the ones that could, she kept a lid screwed tightly on the whole time. Grabbing the jar in her hooves, she struggled with the lid, finally popping it off, but losing her grip at the same time. The lid went flying, as did one of the pieces of paper inside. Fluttershy sighed and touched down on the ground, scooping up the lid with her mouth and screwing it tightly back on the jar. After slowly replacing the jar on the shelf, she grabbed the folded piece of paper from the ground. With a sense of dread, she unfolded it and silently read what was written on it.

Roseluck

Fluttershy whimpered. She knew this mare; she had seen her in Ponyville countless times. She owned a flower cart in the local market and sold all kinds of flowers, but her specialty was roses. She could get you a rose in almost any color imaginable: reds and whites and pinks, but also gentle violets, vibrant yellows, even black. And they were always amazing, lush and perfect with no rips or bruises. However, she didn't have any immediate family, which made the next part much easier.

Fluttershy walked over to her trash bin, crumpled the paper up, and dropped it inside. Glancing at the paper sadly, she walked out her door so she could get what she needed. Dragging her hooves along the ground slowly and deliberately, she made her way to the outskirts of the Everfree forest. She didn't even hesitate before hurrying inside.

Since it was still early, the forest was dark and quiet, with most of the creatures inside still asleep. A few watery sunbeams were able to trickle through the thick overhead canopy, but not much. Still, Fluttershy showed no fear, walking with purpose to a very particular tree. This tree, called a Morpheus Maple, was a species unique to the Everfree forest: it had a smooth, almost glassy trunk that was a swirling mixture of grey, brown, and rust. The leaves were dark gold, so that the tree appeared in a state of perpetual autumn. Most defining of all was the milky golden sap that dripped from the bark. Anypony that ingested this sap would fall into a deep sleep and dream pleasant dreams for however long the effects lasted.

Fluttershy stared at the tree for a few seconds, then reached inside a hollow in the trunk. Her hoof came out holding a glass vial filled with the sap. Holding the vial in her mouth (she knew it was corked tight enough to stay shut), she reached into the hollow again, this time revealing a curious ring: meant for the hoof, made of polished steel and etched all around with a swirling feather pattern. Fluttershy had purchased this ring at a pawn shop a few years ago. Whoever wore it instantly became light enough to be carried by a three-month old pegasus. Fluttershy slipped this over her hoof and felt a strange rush of cool spread from the spot, like she had been filled with cool water.

With the ring on her hoof and the bottle of sap tightly in her mouth, she flew into the air and headed for Roseluck's.

Fluttershy touched down on the ground with barely a sound. She looked at the house in front of her: a normal Ponyville affair, with a thatched roof and blooming flower boxes on the windows filled with, true to form, roses. Roseluck stood in front of the humble abode, water can clutched between her teeth, sprinkling her flowers. The creamy mare caught sight of Fluttershy and turned, placing the can on the ground and smiling sweetly. "Hello, Fluttershy!" she chirped, brushing a wayward strand of pink and magenta hair out of her eyes and trotting up to the pegasus. "Fancy seeing you up and about this early! How are you?"

Fluttershy smiled weakly. "Oh, I'm doing wonderful, thank you," she said, in her usual whisper, although it may have sounded a touch shakier then normal. "I wanted to show you something I made. It's a drink I made from the nectar of some of my newer roses. I figured you would appreciate it." She gingerly held out the bottle of Morpheus sap.

Roseluck's eyes lit up. "Oh, really?" She plucked the bottle from Fluttershy's hoof, uncorked it, ans sniffed it. "Smells a little like syrup." She took a swig, smacking her lips and running her tongue around the edge of her mouth. "Huh, tastes a bit like it, too. But it also is a little like...warm milk?" She stumbled slightly, dropping the vial on the ground, where it rolled away and banged Fluttershy's hoof. Roseluck blinked slowly, looking at Fluttershy and letting loose an enormous yawn. "Man, I'm tired," she muttered, wobbling to one knee and yawning again. In another second, she flopped over, out cold, a tiny strand of drool already trickling from her lips.

Fluttershy gave a watery smile and sniffed, brushing a lock of Roseluck's hair out of her open mouth. She gave her a motherly kiss on the forehead. "Sweet dreams," she murmured, slipping the ring over the sleeping mare's hoof. She picked her up easily and draped her across her outstretched front hooves, before taking off and flying away.

Roseluck came to suddenly, ripped unpleasantly from a peaceful dream, in which she had been trotting serenely through a field of perfect roses. She blinked a few times, mind fuzzy, and realized that everything was dark. Guessing it was a result of her tiredness,she tried to lift a hoof so she could wipe the sand out of her eyes. However, after moving only a few inches, her hoof was jarred to a halt and wouldn't budge.

The mare yanked a few times, before realizing that her leg was well and truly held fast. Panic beginning to set in, she tested her other legs to find that they were also tied down, with only a few inches of leeway. Her breath began to come in short gaps, as she struggled, eyes darting around, trying to find something to look at in the thick darkness. There was nothing.

Her ears picked up the sound of hooves entering the room. There was a scratch and a crackle, and light flared a few feet away. A face was illuminated in the light of the match: a pale yellow face, with long pink hair and giant, watery teal eyes...

Roseluck's eyes widened in recognition. "Fluttershy!" she yelled, doubling her struggling efforts. "Thank Celestia it's you! Quick, help me get untied!"

Fluttershy stayed silent, calmly walking around the room, lighting lamps until the room came into focus. It was a bedroom, with a small, tidy bed in a corner, a bookshelf, and a dresser covered with pictures of various animals. Roseluck looked down and saw that each of her hooves were chained with padded hoof-cuffs, the chains at the ends running through bolts in the floor, which prevented her from moving. Under her hooves was a tarp, one of the waterproof ones that Roseluck put over her roses sometimes to protect them from frost.

Roseluck looked back at Fluttershy, the beginnings of tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "F-fluttershy?" she whimpered. "C'mon, help me out!" Fluttershy paid her no mind, going to the dresser and opening the bottom drawer, rifling through its contents. She withdrew something, hiding it from Roseluck's line of sight, then hid it under her wings before Roseluck could see what it was. Fluttershy trotted over to the frightened mare, looking at her with big, sad eyes. "How are you feeling, Roseluck?" she said tremulously. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

Roseluck stared at Fluttershy, shell shocked. "Fluttershy, can't you see I'm t-" Realization hit her like a tidal wave. She started hyperventilating. "That drink...you drugged me!" Tears began to flow down her face in earnest. "Please, don't hurt me!"

Fluttershy smiled sadly, her own eyes shiny with unshed tears. "Don't worry, Roseluck," she said softly. "I've done this before. It won't hurt."

Roseluck let out a sigh of relief before her brain processed the second part. "Wait, what won't hurt?" She didn't have to ask what it was. She already knew. She started crying fully now, tugging at her restraints between sobs. "Please, don't kill me!" she wailed. "I don't want to die!" She flailed around violently, shrieking at the top of her lungs. "SOMEPONY, HELP ME!"

Fluttershy looked at her, sadness in her eyes. "They won't hear you," she said, gently. Roseluck knew this, but still she screamed, now wordless, and thrashed helplessly in her chains. Fluttershy sat patiently, waiting for her to finish. After a minute or two, the mare stopped screaming, and slumped over, sniffling. Fluttershy knelt down so she could look Roseluck in the face. "You can still have something to eat or drink, if you want," she murmured.

Experience told her to move back quickly after saying this, and of course she was right; Roseluck lunged at her, teeth bared, eyes wild. "WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" the mare screeched. Smoke practically poured from her nose. "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST ASK ME IF I'M HUNGRY LIKE THIS IS A TEA PARTY?"

Fluttershy flinched, but took a deep breath and looked the furious mare in the eye. "It's not like I enjoy this," she said determinedly. Roseluck stopped lunging at her, but still looked angry. "Well, then," she snarled. "Why do you do it?"

Fluttershy shook her head sadly. "Because my animals need to eat," she muttered.

Roseluck's eyes widened when she realized what Fluttershy meant. However, she didn't cry. All she felt now was numb. "You..You're going to feed me to your animals?" she breathed. Fluttershy nodded silently, biting her lip. Roseluck gaped. "B-but don't you just let them hunt?"

"Where?" Fluttershy snapped, and there was fire in her eyes as she spoke. "The Everfree forest? They'd be snapped up right away! The only other place is Applejack's farm, and what do you think would happen if they tried?" The pegasus started pacing now, wings fluttering in agitation. "I had another bear once, a sweet little thing, but he was always breaking the rules. Once morning, Applejack came banging at my door, furious, because he had eaten one of her cows!" Here, tears stated to trickle down her face. "She made come see, too. When we got there, he was sitting on the ground, happy as anything, with all the cows huddling and crying at the other end of the pasture! And the blood-" She cut off, stifling a sob. "T-the police came the next morning! They took him, and they...they..."

Fluttershy fell to the floor, crying like a small foal, and Roseluck, despite herself, felt a stab of pity. She sat there, silently, until Fluttershy got shakily to her hooves, tears dripping off of her face, before continuing. "I tried for a bit after that. Taking mice, birds, little lizards, and putting them to sleep so they wouldn't feel anything. But it wasn't enough. There were too many carnivores, not enough little animals to feed them...And they got smart. They'd start hiding whenever I came into a room, or bite me, and some just left altogether."

Roseluck suddenly realized that Fluttershy wasn't talking to her anymore. Her eyes were fixed on a spot just above Roseluck's head, and her eyes were glassy, burning with feverish intensity. Suddenly, she gave a small, toothy grin. "T-this is better for them. For everypony. One pony can last almost six months, with the right spells...multiplication to make more, even though it only works once, and only so well... The right storage, careful handling, and there you go! All b-better!"

She beamed at Roseluck, looking for all the world like a mare on her wedding day in emotion-except for the tears that continued to pour down her face. "Doesn't this make sense? Two ponies a year, instead of dozens of mice, birdies, and lizards? My animals eat, the rest aren't afraid of me, and you-" she cut off, appearing to come back to earth. Her eyes cleared, and she shook her head a bit before finishing. "Well, you get an early trip to Paradise! Isn't that perfect?

Roseluck stared at the mare before her in horror, starting to wonder just how sane she was. It seemed like the years of doing this had slowly chipped at her psyche, leaving a mess of fractured logic in it's place."B-but ponies will notice I'm gone!" she threatened. "They'll find out! What will you do then?"

Fluttershy, sad as she was, scoffed. "We both know that the ponies here don't have the know-how to solve this," she said. "They can't even handle a scared herd of bunnies." She sat down, suddenly looking very old. "Besides, how long do you think I've done this? Ponies move away all the time. None ever asks except their family, which I know you don't have."

Roseluck blinked, then shook her head violently, still feeling something off. "Wait, don't some of your animals eat fish?" She questioned.

Fluttershy nodded sadly. "There isn't much I can do about that. Some of my critters need fish. But others...others can't eat fish. Some need meat to stay healthy."

Roseluck definitely felt something wrong here."B-but there must be another way!" she pleaded. "Isn't there some unicorn spell, or so-"

The creamy mare flinched violently as Fluttershy snapped, stomping her front hooves and shaking her head, wings flaring behind her. "Don't you think I've tried?" she screeched, hair flying, eyes wide and wild. "There's nothing I can do! At least, not now! They'd call me a murderer, take me away, and my animals WOULD STARVE!" Everything was quiet, except for the sound of Fluttershy's gasping breaths, as Roseluck stared in horror at the broken mare in front of her. Said mare took several deep breaths, backing up and folding her wings. "I'm not going to let you go, but please, if you want anything before-" she made a funny choking noise and cleared her throat loudly, "-let me know."

Roseluck sniffled quietly. "I don't suppose...you have any raspberries?" she muttered.

Fluttershy seemed to brighten slightly. "I'll go get some," she said, turning and trotting out of the room.

Roseluck lay there, sniffling quietly. Raspberries had always been her favorite comfort food, but all the raspberries in the world wouldn't make her feel better now.

She reflected on her life, thinking of her parents, both dead a few years back, and about her life up to this point. She supposed it hadn't been too bad. It's not like she had any family that would miss her.

All too soon, Fluttershy was back, a bowl of raspberries and a glass of milk with a straw in her hoof. She set them both down in front of Roseluck. "Here you go," she said.

Roseluck sniffed the berries, somewhat suspicious, but after a minute, tucked in. They were delicious; ripe and fresh, rinsed with dew and sprinkled with sugar, just the right level of sweet and tart. She finished them quickly, washing them down with the milk. She sighed, settling back down again. "Thank you," she said automatically.

Fluttershy smiled. "You're welcome," she said, reaching into her wings and pulling out a quill and piece of parchment. Her face turned sad again. "Is there anything you wanted...recorded?" she sniffled. "Any wills, or anything?"

Roseluck trembled, mind racing for something to say, to slow the inevitable doom bearing down on her. "G-give my stuff to anypony who needs it," she choked. "And...make sure my roses go to use."

Fluttershy nodded, quill scratching across the paper as she copied everything down. Once she finished, she tucked the paper away in her wings, withdrawing a single item: a vial full of Morpheus sap. Roseluck recoiled. "W-what is that?" she said nervously.

"This-" said Fluttershy, holding up the vial, "-is the stuff I gave you earlier."

Roseluck trembled. Fluttershy, noticing, sniffed and held out the open vial of Morpheus sap. "Drink this," she said, handing Roseluck the vial, "-and I promise, you won't feel a thing."

Roseluck looked at the vial, then shook her head, steeling herself. "I c-can't."

Fluttershy tilted her head and sighed. "Yes, you can."

Roseluck shook her head again, violently this time. "No, I can't!" She glared angrily at the yellow pegasus in front of her. "I won't just take the stuff becaus-"

Her words were cut off as Fluttershy grabbed her mane with one hoof and forced the vial to her lips with the other. Roseluck choked, the sudden assault causing her to swallow without meaning to. Fluttershy backed away as she hacked, desperately trying to expel what she knew wouldn't come up. However, it was already too late. The world was spinning. The blackness was closing in. Roseluck, eyelids getting heavier with each second, stared at the pegasus in front of her, betrayal and horror evident on her face. Soon, however, she gave in.

As Roseluck's eyes finally slid shut, she heard Fluttershy whisper two words, full of tenderness and pain.

"I'm sorry."

Fluttershy looked at the sleeping mare, tears trickling down her cheeks and splashing onto Roseluck's creamy coat. She  uncuffed the mare gently and, grasping the tarp in her teeth, dragged her out of the room and down the stairs. She would get to the cutting and preserving later, right now, she had other matters.

After checking that the door to her cottage was locked, she turned, and saw that the buzzard, the bear, and about two dozen others had already gathered in her living room, around the sleeping body. They looked at her expectantly.

Fluttershy gave a watery grin. At least her animal friends would be happy. She opened her mouth.

"Bon appeteit."