Tirek Meets Bowser In A Bar

by Mystical Rainboom

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Tirek
Length: 1932

The red magic absorber meets the Koopa King himself.

The red magic absorber meets the Koopa King himself. Both defeated. Both weakened. One is angry and the other is...well himself.

Published 2014-12-21 02:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-21 02:00:03 UTC

What's happened to you?

"What can I get ya'?" A green and black woman with glowing hands asked, writing on a notepad.

"Ugh...I'll start with cherry and strawberry mix, then maybe the cow and chicken wings." A red behemoth with horns and a long beard moaned.

"DR.D! A DISH OF WINGS AND A CHERRY STRAWBERRY MOUNTAIN SLUSH!" She yelled to the kitchen.

"SHEGO! We're still out of strawberries and wings!" A blue man with a scar yelled. "The giant Dragon turtle ate them all."

"Sorry tall,red,and shaggy. We're all out."  She said sarcastically and looked far off as across the bar a spiky figure was eating several 3 foot tall piles of wings, he was also drinking 24 pitchers of mix. "Ask the teenaged mutant dragon over there for some."

The centuar growled and beat the table. He got up to confront the pointy freak. He was truly in one place...The Multiverse Villian Bar and Grill. A few months ago Dr.Drakken created it with a Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer. Almost any villain was there. A fat doctor with a moustache accidentally stomped on a green plankton. A red and black ghost argued with a bald goof named Kaos. Tirek was now with the dragon.

"HEY OVERWEIGHT!" Everyone in the bar paused. "Give me those!"

"GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The dragon turtle laughed. "Hey Christmas came early. Nice Santa beard buddy. Here have a seat."

The angry centuar sat down. He grabbed a wing and began to chew. The place went back to its normal pandemonium.

"Listen pal. I'm in a bad mood already, I was beaten a bit ago and I'm a little grouchy."

"You couldn't possibly have it worse." Tirek replied.

"Due tell Saint Nick." Bowser said eating 30 wings at once.

"HEY! You try getting to the top, then losing it all. I had almost all the magic of Equestria and lost."

"Pfft. I've done that a bunch of times." Bowser said,while getting bored.

"I had it ALL! I EVEN DRAINED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY AND CHAOS!" He said losing his temper. "Then...I lost."

"GWAHAHAHA" Bowser laughed. "Buddy that sounds hilarious. Who beat you?"

"...Princess Twilight."

Bowser roared with laughter. "HAHAHA...You're kidding...HA!. A princess beat your tail!...Sounds like I could take over."

"I'm serious. There was a number of rainbows,magic, and friends!"

"What a chump!" Bowser roared with laughter and fire.

"HEY! No burning of the location!" Drakken yelled.

"Let me tell you something fang face! These ponies are a menace. They use friendship as a weapon!"

Tirek only made matters worse. Everyone was laughing.

"Okay I'll tell ya how it's done. I've been beaten a lot, but that was by a deadly,cold hearted,red hatted doofus. My nemesis,Mario!"

"I've heared of him.. He's just a plumber who jumps and eats mushrooms."

"He's a headache, as a matter of fact, he and his princess are why I'm here NOW!" Bowser yelled. "The last time he beat me, she used her wish magic to put me here for a week...or until Kamek can bring me back."

"You get beat by a handyman and his brother, but you mock the Legend of Tirek!" Tirek called out.

"Legend? Listen here Captain Beardface! No one even mentioned you for YEARS!" Bowser snapped.

"And what makes you special. You walking soap ingredient!"

"I've captured the princess at least a dozen times! I've even traveled across the galaxy with her!" Bowser continued catching the attention of others.

"YOU'VE LOST HER A DOZEN TIMES! You've lost even with super powered boost! I gave the kingdom a hard experience!" Tirek yelled making a scene.

"I always COME BACK! Mario gets boosted too! Also,Twilight beat you senseless and I doubt you may even be mentioned by her again given 3 adventures."

"I drained her, the other three, and anyone else in my way! Alone I might add."

"And you still were tossed out by rainbows in a box!"

"Your minions don't even slow him down! Even without his powers, all he has to do to win is jump on you THREE TIMES! You rotten heavy baby!"

"Out of insults? You shaggy red hulk/goat man! I can kidnap Peach and have Mario busy for HOURS! All my minions are not unstoppable, but he still can't mess up or he'll be crushed by my Chain-Chomps,Thwomps, and Bob-ombs. All you can do is suck a Princess of her magic and lose to friendly ponies!" Browser was now red and panting. "If I asked her about you guess what she would likely say..."

"You.Wouldn't.DARE!" Tirek said. Everyone knew what was likely to happen and pulled out cameras...or something similar.

"Uh...Who's Tirek? I don't remember I need to prepare for the next threat. He's old news." Bowser said in a voice sounding just like Twilight's in Tirek's ears.

Tirek charged and rammed Bowser into a wall. Browser punched him right throughout the ceiling and punched Tirek's chest. The red centaur kicked Bowser with force into a table with a Creeper, a Creeper about to explode.

"Shego! Get the camera!" Dr.Drakken shouted eating wings "...and some dipping sauce!"

Bowser grabbed Creeper and threw it at Tirek, who just got free. The creeper exploded and sent Tirek through the ground. Browser took the chance, he repeatedly bashed Tirek in the face. Tirek then reached for a chair and SMASHED it into Bowser. Bowser was sent falling outside and landed in the portal to Equestria. Tirek chased after him.

Falling at an incredible rate, Bowser went into his shell and changed altitude to bash Tirek's teeth in. With an uppercut, he knocked him silly. Tirek then used the power of some nearby Pegasi to get stronger and grab Bowser. He repeatedly punched Bowser's face.

The pair were falling faster and seemed like a giant meteor headed for Ponyville. The two splashed a record high amount of water out of a lake. Bowser spewed fire right in Tirek's face. Tirek charged at Bowser again, only this time Bowser saw it coming and grabbed his horns holding him back.

"All I'd want for Christmas is for you to take a hike." Browser said face to face with a raging Tirek. He threw Tirek several feet away.

Meanwhile, In a Crystal Castle Twilight saw the water and sent a letter to the Princess. She then flew off to the scene.

Suddenly a small koopa appeared in a blue robe.

"Aha! Lord Bowser I've found you...need a little help with Santa!" He waved his wand and summoned several minions to help. "Help your king!"

Bowser laughed. He went to his side with hundreds of minions. Tirek drained magic from running ponies, who were screaming in terror.

"STOP!" Two voices called out.

A white multicolor haired pony and a blonde in pink shouted.

"Bowser and Tirek both of you have to stop." The pony said.

"It's not pleasant for you to smash through this kingdom." The blonde said.

A purple alicorn and red plumber appeared. The two seemed ready to crush evil.

"Bowser...is it? I don't know you...and I kinda remember Tirek,but both of you must leave." Twilight said.

The plumber nodded in agreement.

Bowser and Tirek and the minions stood idly...that didn't last two minutes. Bowser and Tirek bashed all four far off for their fight to continue.

Tirek turned to look for Bowser but came face to face with Goombas running and climbing on him. They bit like dogs and Tirek fired lasers and blasted them off.

A koopa shell bashed him and broke more of his teeth. He was getting beaned. He grabbed one shell and tossed it back defeating all goombas and koopas.

"Is that all you got?" Tirek yelled. He was then hit with a Banzai Bill and sent flying. Bowser landed on him crushing him into the ground. Bowser grabbed a Bob-bomb and threw it at Tirek.

Tirek was getting pummeled. He spotted Kamek summoning more minions. He charged and got away from Bowser. He grabbed the wand and drained it.

"Kamek! You idiot!" Bowser roared. Tirek used his magic then to grow in size and stomped on Bowser.

Bowser though did not give up easy. He jumped and got a giant yellow block named,Broggy, and set him onto Tirek to attack. With Tirek distracted Bowser grabbed his giant foot, Bowser used his strength to toss Tirek away.

Tirek landed in a park with more ponies to drain.

Door 2

Tirek laughed in an evil manner.

"Now about my chicken wings."

A gigantic Ray hit Bowser into a tree. His minions scattered and left.

"Fool. Now that I have the magic I'll easily beat you." Tirek gloated

Tirek bashed Bowser in the nose. He smacked him away with the tree. Now Bowser was airborne.

Tirek spawned wings and grabbed the king. He flew high into the sky. He said nothing...

He threw Bowser in the air and kicked him like a soccer ball into Sweet Apple Acres.

Tirek landed and smashed farm equipment onto Bowser. He lasered him. He then drained the evil energy from Bowser.

"I'm off to really conquer this world...and maybe I'll shave."

Bowser was defeated. A blue disc-shaped ship landed next to Bowser and the green and black woman exited and gave Bowser a bill.

"That's $799 King KooKoo."

Door 3

"No more running!" Bowser yelled.

"Agreed!" Tirek said.

The two were running to each other about to literally SETTLE IT IN SMASH!

Suddenly, an ice ball froze both in place.

A purple blur collided with Tirek and smacked into him several times so quick, he didn't have time to blink.

A red figure collided and hammered Bowser. It hopped its brown shoes onto him.

The mayhem continued both titans were defeated.

The two fell and Twilight and Mario emerged victorious.

"Bowser and Tirek. I feel it is my duty in agreement with Princess Peach, to banish you both. She then charged her horn in color.

Peach used her wish power to return Tirek's magic and weaken Bowser.

A white flash faded and Bowser and Tirek were in a cliche...sent to the moon.

"So...how do we get back?" Bowser asked.

"I'm not sure." Tirek said.

"HEY YOU GUYS!!!" A voice shouted.

A skull-modeled ship had its engine running. A green eyed skeleton said out the window. "Need a lift?"

"How did I sink so low." Tirek facepalmed.

Door 1

"What a chump!" A giant turtle called out. "No wonder he got his butt kicked by friendship. The doofus could likely lost to elements of the common cold."

"Uh...your surliness." Kamek called

"I mean Green'stache is better."

"Uh...your cluelessness."

"WHAT!?"

A giant Tirek was made from pony magic. Tirek laughed in an evil manner. He raised one foot. All of Bowser's minions ran away.

Before Bowser could run the foot stomped him.

Was the Koopa King dead?

"ROOOOOOOAAAAAAR!!!"

Apparently not.

Bowser was now a giant. He was huge and taller than Tirek.

Bowser was still mad and with Tirek gasping in horror he attacked.

PUNCH! Tirek was getting pummeled. Bowser picked him up and snapped his back. He then breathed Fire on Tirek burning his beard.

He threw Tirek into Ponyville. Ponyville had been evacuated. Tirek had no more power now and Bowser was still mad.

Bowser stomped on Tirek leaving an imprint in the ground.

"Try to smash me will you! Well now you get to see the galaxy!" Bowser twirled and threw Tirek into space. "HO HO HO! See you on the naughty list!"

Bowser then returned to normal and made his way to find Kamek so he could go home. "Oh man...my chicken wings."

He walked away leaving Ponyville in ruins.