A Lonely Hearth's Warming
A Lonely Hearth's Warming
Twas the night before Christmas in the city of Baltimore,
and who else to bother then a man named Eleanor.
He was quite depressed, his life was a bother,
he was guite as a mouse and never a conversation stater.
He was quite sad, so miserable and gloomy,
all because he liked My Little Pony.
It started in 2013, before the year ends,
when he caught an episode with one of his friends.
They were very drunk to say the least,
but to Eleanor, it was a masterpiece.
The characters were uplifting, the plot something rich,
so he made watching the show his new form of niche.
From season one, two and three,
oh the show left him with so much glee.
Eleanor was happy, as most could be,
for these pony's were something he would love to see.
Twilight Sparkle, with her books and magic,
though a bookworm, she raised Eleanor's spirits when he was given something tragic.
Rarity, a rounded out fashion designer,
to Eleanor, she was something of a charmer.
Applejack, to him a silly pony,
though her accent sounded less then phony.
Pinkie Pie, the happiest of the bunch,
Eleanor would listen to her songs after brunch.
Fluttershy, a timid little creature,
reminded Eleanor of an his dead old man, who was once a preacher.
All these ponies were great, by no comparison,
but his sole choice came to one pony, who he loved like the music of George Harrison.
Her name was Rainbow Dash, the fastest Pegasus,
as proud as Leonidas , but less girly than Legolas.
She was brave and strong, never so formal,
but nothing could match her personality, for she was ever so loyal.
But sadly enough, the world was cruel.
for everyone who met Eleanor would say his mind was filled with drool.
His mother, who gave his name,
did not like that her son liked small horses with manes.
She threw him out of the comfort of her home,
and so he lived in an apartment, filled with dirt and foam.
His friends were less static that he liked a girls show,
one presumed he was pedophile, the sickest of the low.
So here Eleanor was, cold and alone.
trying to lift his spirits with some Christmas tone's.
He tried reading the books, singing the songs,
he even took a hit from his favorite bong.
But nothing worked, and so Eleanor stood,
broken, washed up, and living in a time where no one understood.
He thought aloud to himself "WHY,
why cant this world just let me get by.
I like a girl's show...SO WHAT!
its not like a complain when a girl likes Call of Duty or some other smut.
Is this how I must live? without anyone to care,
next your going to tell me I'll be mauled by a bear.
Bah humbug this Christmas, from now till the far future,
...man, now I sound like this a film feature."
Eleanor sat on his couch, broken,
next he took to his next bad habit, smokin'
He wondered to himself, like he had no phobia,
'I wish I could spend Christmas in Equestria.'
Suddenly, a bright light cascaded his room,
and ended with a sudden boom.
Eleanor sat there, dazed by the light,
but soon was caught by another sight.
Why it was the pony Rainbow dash,
looking more like she came out of a crash.
Eleanor was surprised, he couldn't believe his eyes,
his favorite pony, right before him in his world of lies.
Eleanor slowly got up and went to the Pegasus in a straight line,
and thought 'Do it for the vine.'
He slowly stroked her wings, so soft and firm,
If Eleanor had this chance again, he would consume a worm.
Sadly, his fun was over,
for the blue Pegasus woke up, felt the sensation, and buck kicked the joker.
With his nose bleeding, Eleanor was happy and sad,
Happy he saw Rainbow dash, sad he needed to pay that doctor bill he had.
The blue Pegasus finally spoke,
"YO, was that some kind of joke!"
"N-No, Ms. Dash, I didn't mean for you to be harmed,
but I must say I feel a little alarmed."
The pony chuckled "Well that's expected Mr. loner,
do ponies usually have wings that get boners"
Eleanor blushed, she was so direct,
well, that was Rainbow Dash at best.
"S-So why are you here?" asked Eleanor with little cheer,
"To make you happy silly." said the Dash with a sneer.
Eleanor blushed further, scratched his hair like he had a tic,
he thought 'What is this, a clopfic!'
Rainbow saw the red on his face,
and said very sternly "Don't make me get my can of mace!"
Flustered by the sudden threat,
Eleanor rose to his feet as fast as a jet.
"What truly brings you here?" he asked.
she replied "To show YOU the joy of the world and to take off that mask!"
"I believe you are mistaken? I have no mask" he preached,
she said "Bro, have you heard of the figure of speech?"
"Listen to me well, because I wont repeat,
you need to find some friends before you decide to retreat.
Their are people just like you who like my show,
the Brony's there called, they wont think you're low.
They love and tolerate people like you,
so why not join them?, that's what you should do!"
Eleanor was confused, he didn't know what to do,
should he embrace this fandom that he knew.
Rainbow Dash looked at him with a serious look,
then said "Please, there are people who care for you, they'll give you back the heart that the others took."
Eleanor saw it, he knew what must be done,
"Dash, thank you, for I know what I must do...thank you, for now i will not be stun.
I will do my best to make friends with others,
who respect my entertainment choices, and who don't think I'm a molester."
Dash was happy, her work was done,
now it was time to go back to her friends for some Hearth's Warming fun.
"I need to take my leave, so don't mess up."
"Good night Rainbow Dash, and i promise I wont act like a schlup."
As Eleanor went to sleep on his couch,
Rainbow couldn't help but fell like a louse.
She curled beside him and rested,
thinking to herself 'I'm sure they wont mind if I stay here while Twilight is tested'
And so they remained, motionless and asleep,
as their dreams were filled with countless of sheep.
A Merry Christmas to all, and a wonderful Hearth's Warming,
I hope you enjoyed this story, and found it not so boring.
A Lonely Hearts and Hooves Day
Welcome my bronies
To a tale of another who liked my little ponies
His name was sadly Eleanor
A name that made people laugh so loud it woke people from a snore
Life was once depressing for him
Once living in a place so dim
Everyone he used to be around hated his preferences
Even when they were just references
But ever since that fateful night
One that would give ordinary man a fright
Where he met Rainbow Dash
A Pony that was somewhat crass
Eleanor would like to believe it as just a dream
To which I say he needs to stop eating molded cheese
Now Eleanor is content with his life
He even met a woman whom he would try to make his wife
A lovely woman she was
And Valentine's day would be Eleanor's great cause
To marry her as groom and bride
But he would soon wish he was not alive
As he walked in their motel room
he found her in bed with another groom
Now, devastated and alone
Eleanor sat in a friend's house listening to the sounds of a trombone
His friend was away with his girl
Probably taking her for a twirl
"Oh Rainbow, if you could only see me
Alone on valentines, oh im so happy."
At that very moment, a white light flashed
And Eleanor felt his head get bashed
After picking himself up
Eleanor was at a stump
What was in front was a yellow bundle of fur
That was sleeping and moaning a slight purr
There was no doubt in his mind
That this was the one pony so very kind
This was a chance no brony would pass by
Where they would see Fluttershy
Eleanor was shocked
He believed he was crocked
Without a thought to be rational
Eleanor screamed like he was at the capital
This awoke the bundle of brony joy
as she looked at Eleanor with a smile of coy
"Um... hello Eleanor, I've h-heard your plea
S-So please wont you s-smile for me?"
Eleanor couldn't believe what he was seeing
Another pony that seem to have a self of being
Within a second he smiled
even if it was a little mild
Fluttershy was glad she was of use
But she felt so tense, she needed a masseuse
Eleanor noticed a wince of pain
So he asked Fluttershy very plain
"Fluttershy, are you okay?
Would you like a message to relax your day"
Fluttershy being ever so... shy
declined his offer because she needed to say goodbye
"Alright, I see your point
I guess I'll see you soon... now where's my joint?"
With another flash, Fluttershy was gone
And Eleanor was content... but still had to mow his friend's lawn
