twilight has fun in a game with her friends in a game which is only fun when you are playing it but people still write stories about it because it gets them lots of likes and fuck that guy that said his copy of a story was better than the original it copi
Twilight stepped outside her home and trotted up to the cobble road. She glanced around at her uniquely circular town. The road itself was merely a circle, every few feet a small path branched off to another town home.
It was nothing but homes. No shops, no farms, just homes.
Out of each house stepped out one of her neighbors; Colgate from the house just right of her, followed by Lyra, then Bulk Biceps, then Apple Bloom, then Bon Bon, then Sweetie Belle, then Vinyl, then Octavia, then Scootaloo, then Berry Punch, then Twilight, then Colgate, then Lyr- Wait, did I just go around in a circle? Fuck!
Let me start again- You know what? Fuck that. They were in a town in the shape of a circle. That’s all you need to fucking know. Got it? Good! Let’s start.
Colgate stood on her back hooves and yelled out, “I’m Mafioso, guys! Lynch me!”
Twilight looked up at the text floating above her head that was labeled: ‘Investigator’. She scanned the rather particularly empty town circle and took note that no other ponies had text above their heads.
She glanced back up and then turned to her wonderful and majestic next-door neighbor, Colgate.
“Oh- Do you see th-”
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Lyra held her head facing straight up in the sky as she continually screamed, “TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Fuck, that’s annoying. Someone fucking kill her already.
Twilight winced as Lyra continually shrieked over everyone as some random timer from who the hell knows where. All the ponies were confused as their hooves forced them back to their houses for the night.
As soon as Twilight was somehow forcibly, by some unknown being, back into her house, the sun dropped out of the sky and crashed beneath the horizon. Twilight contemplated visiting whoever she was going to visit earlier and decided to just watch the town from her window.
She pulled up a stool to the only window in her one room house and stared outside. She watched as Colgate ran through the center of the town brandishing a gun. She ran and kicked down the door of Bulk Bicep’s house. A loud flash and bang later, Twilight watched dumbfounded as Colgate trotted back into her house for the night.
Twilight jumped off her stool and threw herself behind a cupboard to try and hide herself from anyone who might try and come in to kill her. A few moments later, the sun magically appeared in the sky and her hooves guided her out of her house and back to the road.
On her way outside, she saw two bodies just laying in the road. One of which being Bulk Biceps himself and the other being Applebloom, that poor, poor filly. Twilight was about to speak but Lyra screamed, “TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Everyone seemed to be annoyed, but not so to the point of lynching Lyra. Maybe tomorrow. What do you guys think, should I lynch her tomorrow? Fuck you, I do what I want. Okay- back to the story!
Twilight raised a hoof to try and announce that she saw Colgate shoot Bulk Biceps, but before she could, Colgate yelled out, “I’m Mafioso guys! I killed Bulk Biceps last night! Lynch me!”
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Random background pony #23- I mean, Scootaloo spoke up, “There’s no possible way you are mafioso! I know this because how does one blackmail?”
Twilight sighed and facehoofed.
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
She pointed at Colgate and said, “I saw her kill Bulk Biceps last night!”
Colgate hopped over to stand by Twilight. She wrapped a hoof around Twilight’s neck and pulled her close. “Yeah! What she said! Lynch me!”
Berry Punch stroked the ground with a hoof and stated, “Hmm- sounds awfully like a Jester to me! I say don’t lynch her, we don’t want her *type* around here.”
Colgate put on a pout and cried, “But I’m Mafioso! Why won’t you lynch me!? I just want to die!” Tears streamed down her face as the sun exploded again and they all walked back to their houses. Oh- and the bodies from the morning were still out there, rotting in the open air. Seriously, why the hell do they just leave the bodies there? How the hell did they get out there in the first place?
Twilight stared outside her window at the wolves prancing around the town circle. She could do nothing but watch as they tore open the bodies of Apple Bloom and Bulk Biceps. Apple Bloom’s guts laid strewn across the ground as her impure dirtpony blood tainted the soil she was vigorously being torn apart on.
The wolves eventually dragged away the bodies, leaving only the bloodstains as the night dragged on. Twilight looked down at a list that she wrote earlier not said in the story, it said: ‘N2: Vinyl’.
A small knock from her window caused her to peer up from her list. She gasped as she saw Lyra’s face smooshed up against her window.
“THEEEYYYY ARRRE CRAWWWLLLIIINNGG IINNN MYY SKIINNNNN…”
Twilight leaped away from the window and threw her note at it, shattering the glass instantly.
“Ahhhh!” she screamed.
She blinked and then Lyra was gone, no where to be seen. Deciding to just carry on, Twilight crawled out of her broken window. She attempted to walk through the town circle, but a wolf hopped out of the ground and growled at her.
“grrrrrrrrr”
She resigned to walking on the path and up to Vinyl’s house. She put her hooves on the window and peered through the blood-stained glass. Knives were littered all across the floor. Twilight reached in and picked up one of the knives. On the knife was a sticky note that said, “doctor.” It was covered in velvet blood, obviously proving that she was a doctor and worked with knives.
She walked back to her house for the rest of the night, obviously trying her to complete her job as investigator; however, on her way back to her house, she saw a giant wolf monster circling the weirdly circular town.
“Well! It’s not coming for me!” she stated as she chose to ignore the giant fucking wolf.
The next morning, Twilight drew a knife at the town meeting. The meeting of which lacked two living members, Berry Punch and Bon Bon. Berry’s body was horribly massacred. Every part of her body was completely covered in paper cuts. Small, small, miniscule paper cuts which only a monster would inflict upon somebody. Her last will stated that she was the jailor and she had jailed Vinyl that night.
Twilight pondered how she jailed Vinyl without anyone seeing. Oh well, secrets for the wise.
She presented her evidence with her obvious ability to discern fact from fiction, “This here is a knife. I got it from Vinyls last night. I am fairly certain she killed Berry Punch. I sa-”
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Colgate screamed, “I’m Mafioso, guys! Lynch me!”
Twilight attempted to interrupted Colgate, but realized that Colgate really was Mafioso and decided to let her continue admitting it.
“Yup, definitely a jester,” said-
“TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
God damn it, now she’s interrupting the story itself; Lynch her already, you fucking retarded town!
Voting time came and they stepped over Berry Punch’s and the other mare who I already forgot who’s name to place Lyra’s name in the box to be Lynched. Except this box was a glass box, so everyone knew who they were voting for. And by glass box, I mean they just yelled out their vote.
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
“LYRA!”
Lyra walked up to the center of the town, still screaming, “TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
The time ticked down as she continuously voiced her- You know what? Fuck her. They lynched her, her neck snapped as the rope reached it’s stretching limit.
A deep chill reverberated throughout the entire town as they realized they just lynched the most obvious fucking jester ever.
Twilight ran back inside her house, bawling her eyes out for no reason. Actually- one. Town is fucking retarded and lynched the obvious as fuck jester rather than the proven-to-be serial killer and the self-claimed mafioso who had been proven to be mafioso.
Twilight held herself that entire night, crying both for her fallen townies and also for her sanity which she lost sometime around fuck-all town and the fact that she was stuck in the damn town.
The next morning, she practically dragged herself out of her house and collapsed into the road. Looking at the previous night’s victims, she listened as Colgate read out Sweetie Belle’s will:
“SHEEEEE’S CRAWWWWLLLIINNGGG IN HHEERR SKKIIIINN.”
Everyone stayed silent as a sign of respect to Sweetie’s passing as they realized that she died of guilt from lynching the jester and also that she was the town’s medium and she had to listen to the jester scream “TTHHHEEEEY’RREE CRRAAWWWLLLLIINNNG IIINNNN MYYY SKKKIIIINN!”
Damn, poor girl. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. All this actually happened before. Fucking town is retarded as hell. Now back to our -terrible- fantastic story:
Oh, and Scootaloo died.
Again, back to the story:
Octavia trotted up to Twilight and said to her, “Oooo~ Scootaloo was blackmailer, trust me!”
Twilight nodded and said, “Oh! I completely and unfailingly trust you to the fullest extent because I am just a gear in this machination of retardation!”
A note fell down from the sky fell onto Twilight’s head and she said, “Plllaaaaaay the best song in the worlddd , or I’ll steal your so-” Wait fuck, wrong story. It actually said, “Scootaloo - Blackmailer”.
“Oh! You were right!”
Octavia danced in a little circle and said, “Of course I am!”
“I’m Mafioso! Lynch me!” Colgate yelled from her perch that wasn’t actually a perch.
“Okay! If you say so!” stated Twilight; however, Octavia had other plans as she poked Twilight with a hoof and whispered, “It’s really all a facade. Colgate is really sheriff and she is pretending to be Mafioso because town is practically the definition of gullible.”
Twilight stared back at her, shocked, “Wow, you actually said a legible sentence that wasn’t perverted with years of undoing your english courses. How did you even…?”
Octavia waved her off, “That doesn’t matter right now, we just have to lynch whoever is left in this to- I mean mafia! Yes, Mafia!”
“So who do we lynch?”
Octavia pointed at Vinyl, “Her, she’s the serial killer, Colgate told me las- I mean earlier today. Yes, earlier today.”
Twilight shot Octavia a confused look, “I didn’t see you ta-”
Octavia spammed into chat, “I CAN TALK LOUDER AND FASTER THAN YOU. VINYL IS SK. LYNCH LYNCH.”
Twilight took off her headset and threw it across the room. It smashed against her wall and she got up and left her room. Putting on a jacket for who the fuck knows why, she walked out her door and over to Lyra’s house.
She knocked on the door and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Eventually, Lyra answered the door, with a gleaming smile on her face, she slowly moved her lips to spell out, ‘THEYYYYYY’RRRREEE CRAAAWWWWLLLLIIING IIINN MYYYY SKKIIN.’
She giggled madly at their own little inside joke until Twilight punched the annoying ass mare in the jaw and sent her sprawling on the floor.
“Shut the buck up!”
