The Ballad of Big Mac
Come hear the tale of Macintosh,
Big Mac to all his friends,
the love he won, but almost lost,
of fame that never ends.
He spent his days out in a field
not far from Ponyville,
gath'ring his orchard's fruitful yield
with all his bucking skill.
"Big Mac, you take care now y'hear!"
said A. J. in alarm,
"Keep buckin' like that an' Ah've a fear
You'll do yerself some harm!"
Big Mac replied, "Don' worry none,"
as apples fell like rain,
"Jus' mah way of 'gettin' 'er done'!"
and went to buck again.
He bucked the tree, and with a crash
the center of it split.
The falling trunk, quick as a flash,
the stallion's head did hit.
Straight to Nurse Redheart Big Mac was sent
with AJ at his side,
and in the quiet medical tent
he nursed his wounded pride.
But though the nurse did all she could,
the wound refused to heal -
ointment and poultice did no good,
despite Nurse Redheart's zeal.
To Twilight Sparkle then Mac fled,
librarian of the town.
Yet as soon as all her books were read,
her lips curled in a frown.
"My books don't seem to have a cure
for such an injury,
So the best thing for you to do, I'm sure,
is visit the Everfree.
For it's the home of Zecora,
A wise young zebra mare,
Who from the exotic flora
brews potions great and rare."
And so Big Mac did steel his heart,
despite its sudden chill,
to go and seek from Zecora's art
a cure for his ill.
He galloped to the Everfree
then into the dark he stepped;
And for the monsters he knew there'd be,
a watchful eye he kept.
And yet no beast dared try its luck
and attack Big Mac that day -
Fearing the stallion's mighty buck,
they let him go his way.
And soon to the zebra's hut he came,
deep in the Everfree.
He called and called her lovely name -
it echoed from every tree.
Suddenly from out the wood there drew
The gorgeous zebra mare.
Her wise repute Big Mac well knew,
but not that face so fair!
"Big Macintosh! I know you well,"
she said and took him in,
"Of you many a tale they tell."
Mac tried to hide his grin.
"Sit yourself down, my stallion dear,"
Macintosh deeply blushed
"Let's see the wound that you have here…"
His mane aside she brushed.
"This injury will quickly heal,"
she said, bringing a vial.
"If you take this at every meal..."
He took it with a smile.
"Zecora, Ah had thought for sure
mah buckin' days were through!
That's something Ah could scarce endure
but not now, thanks t' you."
Big Mac got up to go his way;
he bowed and said goodbye.
But something made him want to stay;
he had no idea why.
The stallion's heart began to race,
as at the door he stopped.
A smile flashed on Zecora's face,
her eyes she shyly dropped.
And then Mac turned and left the hut;
she watched him as he left.
Reluctantly the door she shut,
heart suddenly bereft.
The next day dawned, and Big Mac woke,
the sun low in the sky.
He slipped his head beneath the yoke
and heaved a mighty sigh.
The stallion's head no longer hurt
and yet he felt no peace.
He kicked a hoof across the dirt-
the feelings would not cease!
Was he still sick? He didn't know,
but buck he could no more.
What was this thing that pained him so?
Why did his heart feel raw?
To the zebra's hut once more he went
To ask her for her aid
in curing this strange torment
of which he was afraid.
"Dear Macintosh, is something wrong?"
She galloped to his side.
"The look upon your face is long,"
Away from her he shied.
"I know that some thing's troubling you,"
The stallion's face went red.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Ah don' know," he said.
"Ah never meant to trouble you,"
the stallion went to leave.
A million doubts about him flew,
a sigh his chest did heave.
"Big Macintosh, please do not go,"
Zecora blocked his way.
"There's something that you need to know."
She spoke without delay.
"I think I know the pain you feel,"
The zebra dropped her gaze
"It's a pain that's hard to heal."
Her eyes again she raised.
"Y' know this sickness?" Big Mac asked,
"The cause of this heart ache?"
Zecora nodded. At long last!
What medicine should he take?
"I know this sickness well, my dear,"
The zebra whispered low.
"I suffer from it too I fear,"
Her tears began to flow.
"My heart, Big Mac, is yours alone,"
The stallion's eyes went wide.
"A stronger passion I've never known."
He knew she hadn't lied.
The stallion gazed upon her face,
He didn't make a sound.
Inside his chest his heart did race,
his eyes fell to the ground.
"How could y' be in love with me?"
the sorrowful stallion said,
"A mule whose words lack poetry?"
He shook his handsome head.
"Sweet Macintosh, you need not fear,"
The zebra shyly spoke.
"That at your words I'll cruelly sneer."
Her voice, it nearly broke.
"Your strength and honesty, and what's more,"
Zecora's blush was deep,
"Your kindness is what I adore,"
She tried hard not to weep.
"Lovelier speech Ah've never heard,
The stallion's shook his head.
"While Ah can barely say a word,"
Her heart was filled with dread.
"Ah'm sorry, but it can never be,"
His voice filled with dismay.
"Ah'm jus' not eloquent, you see."
He turned to walk away.
"Macintosh, don't go, don't go!"
Down to her knees she dropped.
"I love you more than you can know!"
The tears they would not stop.
"It doesn't matter what you say,"
He stepped towards the door.
"For me to rhyme there is no way."
His eyes glued to the floor.
Then suddenly Zecora stopped,
What was that she'd just heard?
Hope for despair was quickly swapped
As she recalled each word.
"Why did you fear you could not rhyme?"
Zecora cried in glee,
"You've spoken in verse all this time!"
Big Macintosh said "Me?"
Zecora's words were true, he knew,
How totally blind he'd been!
Around her neck his legs he threw,
as she against him leaned.
"Ah'm afraid Ah've been a total dolt,"
The remorseful stallion said,
"Behavin' like a naïve colt,"
as tears he gently shed.
"Please dry your tears, my stallion dear,"
She wiped one from his face;
"My heart is yours, you need not fear."
She sighed in his embrace.
Few kisses have there in history been,
As heartfelt as this one!
And so on this romantic scene,
Let set the smiling sun.
The Princess from her castle high,
Smiled down upon the two.
A single tear dropped from her eye,
At a pure love so true.
"Big Macintosh, you stallion rare,
As kind as you are strong,
Take for your mate this zebra mare,
And never do her wrong."
So ends the song of Macintosh,
Big Mac to all his friends,
And of the love he thought he lost,
Of fame that never ends.
