The experiment

by I had no idea

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Adventure, Octavia, Derpy Hooves
Length: 5037

Rainbow finds out that she might be the best flyer ever - but not how she wanted it.

Rainbow Dash is fast.
Rainbow Dash is agile.
Rainbow Dash is tough.
Or is she?

After a failed training session, Rainbow awakes in the middle of nowhere. By the time she gets home, somepony has took her place, there are ponies out to kill her, and the mailmare suddenly seems to make sense.

Can she earn her freedom?

Or will she fail before those who think the best are made, not born?

Published 2014-12-22 20:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-22 20:00:06 UTC

Chapter one: Subject 217

Rainbow Dash awoke with the mother of headaches. She was used to cider-induced hangovers, but it felt like this hangover had a hammer. She slowly gathered the bravery and energy needed to open her eyes.

The first thing she saw was, of course, the blue sky. The sides of her vision were imparted by what she identified, after a minute or so, as cliffs overhead. The cliffs were reddish, which jogged her memory. She was trying out some tricks in the Badlands, wasn't she?

Yeah, she was. It all came back to her. She came here secretly, and spent a good half a day flying around these parts, not even seeing a single soul. It all went fine, but then she got a cramp in her wing, and... yeah, she crashed. Nothing new. If she let a little crash discourage her, she wouldn't be Rainbow Dash, would she?

She slowly rose to her hooves, gently checking her bones and muscles out. Everything seemed to be in working order... she ached a little, but nothing too serious. A lifetime of crashes has it's advantages, she thought wryly.

After a few flaps of her wing, she was airborne. She looked around the arid landscape thoughtlessly, when she spotted something gleaming in the late afternoon sun. Driven by curiousity, she flew over to check it out. It was a bottle of some fizzy drink; puzzling, for she never drinks that garbage.

She shrugged. No matter how that bottle got here, it isn't important. Then, because she was still Rainbow Dash, she carried the bottle with herself until she finally arrived in Ponyville, where she threw it in the first waste bin.

It suddenly dawned upon her that she promised Twilight to help around the library today. There were promises of Daring Do involved, and besides, she was supposed to be free today... then again, you can hardly schedule cranial trauma, can you?

As soon as that thought entered her mind, she pictured Twilight dictating a checklist to her assistant.

"Spike! Write a checklist! Point one: get hit by a blunt object! Point two: lose 217 brain cells! Point three: pass out! Got that? Let's check it again!"

She smirked. Yeah, that would be Twilight, all right. She hoped that her friend wouldn't be disappointed too much. She set course to the library, unaware of the eyes that were following her.

The pony pulled out a ragged-looking box, and fiddled with it for some time. After finding the exact spot, a muffled voice crackled from the box.

"Yeah, it's me," she answered. "We've got a problem. Rainbow Dash has returned. No, not that one. The previous."

As the sky turned dark, Rainbow reached the library, preparing a speech to apologise to Twilight. She decided that the effect would be maximised if she wasn't barging in through the window, but knocking politely on the door. She already raised her hoof, when she heard voices from the inside. Laughing.

She furrowed her brow. It wasn't like Twilight to laugh when there was a good scolding to be had in the future. Something about 'invoking the spirit of punishment,' or whatever. Point is: no laughing.

Rainbow flapped to the window, peering in curiously. She nearly fell to the ground when she saw herself arrange books, while chatting happily with Twilight. She nearly barged in, when she felt a tug on her tail.

She looked down, seeing Lyra grip her tail with magic.

"Hey, guv', got a minute?"

Confused by her cheerful tone, she slowly floated down to ground level. The unicorn immediately wrapped a hoof around her shoulder, and started speaking in a jovial tone, pulling her away from the library while doing so.

"Now I know you're confused, but don't panic. I can wholly and utterly assure you, that even when we are speaking right now, you are being administered a healthy dose of knockout-drugs."

The pegasus kicked as she felt the needle stab her, and heard a grunt as somepony collapsed behind her. But no matter her stamina, whatever was in that syringe, it was potent enough to knock her out there and then.

Lyra and the other pony looked around shiftily, then grabbed the unconscious pegasus, and hurried away with her. Unbeknownst to them, a pair of auburn eyes were a witness to this scene.

When Derpy was sure they left, she quietly flew over the library window. Her suspicions proved to be true, as Rainbow Dash was happily chatting away with Twilight. She glanced at the general direction of the other Dash. She couldn't be a changeling, because then the needle would've broken.

She narrowed her eyes. Maybe they're finally crossing the line.

She took off after the foalnappers stealthily.

Rainbow thought her headache was bad before, but she was proved wrong. Oh so very wrong. The hammering returned, this time, with hammerettes to accompany it. She tried to sit up, but she was tied so tightly, she could only roll on the ground.

"Ah, good, you're awake."

She felt a magical grip pick her up, and she was put on a sofa, facing an armchair. The armchair contained a very alien Lyra Heartstrings. Instead of a goofy smile, there was a demeaning smirk; instead of a curious gaze, there was a stare so focused it burned. The pegasus stared dumbfoundedly, until Bon Bon came in, and gave Lyra a notebook, and a pencil. Taking both into her grip, Lyra focused on Rainbow.

"Be a dear, Rainbow, and tell me; what exactly happened out there?"

Her words were accompanied by a magical tug, and Rainbow felt her mouth come free.

"What the hay?! You can't just foal—"

Her objections were cut short as Lyra put back her gag with a little sigh.

"Subject doesn't seem to react to the code phrase... Something must've undone the spell."

"Perhaps head trauma?" Bon Bon offered. "Wouldn't be too far-fetched to think so, I believe. After all, it is her we're talking about."

Lyra appeared to be deep in thought.

"Could be..." She suddenly raised her head, and smiled at the cream-coloured mare. "Bon, would you please make some tea? I'm really thirsty right now."

Bon Bon shrugged.

"Sure."

Lyra waited as the echoes of her hoofsteps died down, then turned to Rainbow. Her smile was humourless, and malicious.

"Well, I don't know how you survived that crash, but rest assured, I'll find out who gave that false report. As for your immediate future... I'm sorry, but leaving you roam around would greatly compromise our situation. You do understand, don't you?"

She was interrupted by a crash coming from downstairs.

"What was that?" she demanded angrily.

"Sorry," came the muffled answer,"I dropped the kettle. What type of tea would you like?"

"Some Bruneighsian blend, thank you very much," she answered. "Now, where was I?" she asked in a lower tone, turning back to Rainbow. "So, as I was saying, I'll have to vaporise you. No hard feelings, though."

Just as Lyra's horn began to glow, something slammed into her head, knocking her out, and sending her flying into a wardrobe, judging by the sound of it. Rainbow wasn't sure what happened, but hey, being vaporised is nasty.

She felt her bondage loosen, and pulled her hooves free with ease. Thankfully, she wasn't tied up for long, so apart from a bit of dizziness, she felt fine. The dizziness amplified tenfold when she saw whom saved her.

"Derpy?! What the hay are you doing here?!"

The gray pegasus smiled coyly.

"I believe the proper term is 'come with me if you want to live.'"

She dragged the dumbfounded cyan pegasus through the open door, out into the darkness. Once outside, the grey mare beckoned her to follow. Rainbow briefly wondered if she should follow her, but then she came to the conclusion that if she wanted her dead, she would've let Lyra do it. She bolted after Derpy, who proved surprisingly difficult to catch up to.

After a brief scouting, Derpy beckoned her again, this time to enter another house. She complied, and found herself in a perfectly normal hallway, with coatracks and cute little wooden wardrobes. Confused, she entered through the only door available, and arrived at a cosy little living room.

"I think we deserve a drink, don't you think?" came Derpy's voice from somewhere. "Tea? Coffee? Juice? Nah... If I'm correct, you need a little of this."

A moment later, the grey pegasus entered the room, balancing on her back two mugs of...

"Cider!" Rainbow yelled. Her priorities shifted from being confused to obtaining some of the divine nectar. She nearly threw it down in a single gulp, but then something came to her mind.

"It's not poisoned, is it?"

Derpy chuckled softly.

"Nice to see you're at least using your brain somewhat. But no, it's not poisoned. If I wanted you dead, I'd have arrived a minute later to Lyra's house."

She took a mug in her grip, and sipped from the cider with a satisfied expression.

"Ah, that was a good vintage, three years ago. Do try it, please."

Not one to resist cider for long, Dash downed the mug with a single swill. She sat upon a sofa, as her host did. Now, face to face, she noticed that Derpy had perfectly normal eyes. Nothing like the unfocused, wall-eyed self she usually showed around others.

Questions welled within Rainbow. She didn't know which one to ask first, so she waited until Derpy spoke. Unfortunately, she was in no hurry. The cyan pegasus could wait no more.

"All right, so what the hay is all this? Why is there a Rainbow Dash frolicking around with one of my friends, why did two ponies – to whom I've barely talked to— try to kill me, and lastly, how come you're all fancy, and your eye isn't wei-all googly?"

Derpy gave her a long, contemplating look.

"Yes, I imagine all the things that happened today left you quite confused. I don't even know where to start... Suffice to say, you might not believe me if I tell you the truth."

"Then tell me only one thing! Who is that faker, getting all friendly with Twilight in the library? A changeling? An imponyator? An optical illusion?"

"I'm afraid she's just as much real as you are, Rainbow."

Rainbow wrinkled her nose.

"What? You mean I'm a fake, too? I'm a changeling?"

Derpy shook her head.

"No, of course not. I'm merely saying that... she is just as much Rainbow Dash, as you are. You're... connected, so to say."

"Connected?" Rainbow asked with suspicion. The grey mare averted her eyes.

"Do you remember your past, Rainbow?"

This confused her.

"Well, duh! I'm not amnesai... amneasi... I didn't lose my memory!"

"Do you remember your parents?" Derpy pressed. Rainbow scratched her head.

"Uh, yeah, but they died when I was twelve. What's your point?"

"What would you say," the grey mare continued carefully, "if I told you that they are not who you think they were?"

"Okay, you lost me. What?"

Derpy sighed.

"The truth is, Rainbow, those two ponies you believed to be your parents were either assigned to some other duty, or have been disposed of."

"Wha-why?"

For the first time, Derpy looked into her eyes.

"To hide the truth about your origins." she stated firmly. "To hide that you were not so much as born, but brought into this world."

Despite herself, Rainbow couldn't help, but be more and more interested.

"Brought? What are you talking about?"

"More than twenty years ago, there existed a foundation in Equestria. They claimed to be researching fatal diseases, but a raid on their operations revealed that they were embezzling the funds they procured from the government, and their benefactors. It was quite the scandal, and many ponies were arrested."

"And that has to do what with me?" Rainbow asked.

"Nothing. It was a ruse. The true purpose of this foundation was the secret transfer of their funds to a... different organisation. One which never existed legally. One that successfully kept itself hidden throughout all these years. One that performed experiments that they'd never have gotten permission to do."

She paused, looking out the window.

"Their true purpose is to find out the hidden power of the pony races... and to that end, they are trying to create the perfect ponies."

She looked back at the baffled cyan mare.

"Ponies like you, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow shook her head in disbelief.

"So you're saying I'm some kind of ultimate pony?"

"I'm saying that you are their attempt to create the perfect pegasus... an asset too valuable to lose sight of, or let free. You see, Lyra and Bon Bon are part of this organisation, and they knew something was up, once they saw two Rainbows prancing around."

"Wait a second. Are you trying to say that somepony screwed up and created a...a copy of me?" Rainbow said as she finally put down her mug, and crossed her forelegs.

"Not exactly, no. To us, it's a screw-up, but they assumed you were dead."

Rainbow nearly laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation.

"Dead? Hah! I've only been to a hospital only once!"

"That is because your injuries were only that light once." Derpy said calmly. "Tell me, how many times you've crashed?"

"Uh... countless times! See? I crash all the time! Comes with practicing, you know? Ponies do that."

Derpy shook her head slowly.

"No, as a matter of fact, no. Only you crash all the time... because you have an uncanny speed that your reflexes can't catch up to sometimes. Would you be surpised if I told you that wasn't the first time they resorted to this?"

"What... do you mean?" Rainbow asked with disbelief.

"You have crashed and died 217 times, Rainbow. Every time that happened, they recreated you. All the memories, all the experience... Only they made you think the crashes weren't fatal. Try to remember particularly nasty accidents!"

Rainbow became unfocused. Derpy's voice drowned out, and she unconsciously began to remember the time she tried to fly in Ghastly Gorge, years before she'd met Twilight. She flew incredibly fast that day, dodging sharp rock formations, and monsters—

Until she hit a wall. Sure, she was sore for a few days after that, but not the sort of—

– Excruciating pain through her back, sickly noises as her bones broke from the impact, flaming hotness as her face got ground down by the canyon wall—

"Breathe!" Derpy shouted. Rainbow gagged a few times, then she vomited on the floor with full force. The gray mare held her, making sure she didn't suffocate. After nothing came up, she started to gather herself. She gave Derpy a pathetic look.

"I died..." she whispered.

"I know." the grey mare whispered back, tapping her gently on her back. "But you're here now, and I intend to keep it that way."

Rainbow looked bitterly at the puddle she made.

"What a waste..."

She focused on the patient grey mare again.

"How do you know this? It's unlikely that they'd tell you all of this out of good will!"

Derpy gave her a calculated stare.

"Perhaps it would be better if I explained the whole story. Please, sit down while I fetch a mop."

Feeling a bit light-headed, she complied. She sat down, closed her eyes, and listened to Derpy's rattling around the house. The splashing of the water was followed by a loud clang, and a slightly less loud 'Oh, to hay with this!'

"All right, I'm finished!" said Derpy a good ten minutes later. She set some crackers in front of Rainbow, who stared at them with distrust.

Derpy pushed the tray a little closer to her.

"C'mon, try them. They'll help your stomach settle down. Taste's a bit bland, though."

She leaned back on her chair, taking a deep breath.

"As I've said, the story begins with your birth. I do not have all the details, but apparently you were engineered from the best pegasi's genes."

Rainbow couldn't help, but feel a little proud.

"Well, yeah, I always knew I was special!"

"Certainly. As you might know, back in the days there were virtually no other pony races around, but pegasi, earth ponies, and unicorns. Only a few bat ponies existed in the Royal Guard, so contacting them was out of the question. Crystal ponies... well, I don't think even the most obsessed researchers expected them to show up, let alone an entire empire's worth of them. That is why only three 'perfect' ponies were created; one from each race that founded Equestria."

"Who were the others?" Rainbow asked.

"The three ponies shared a common personality trait: pride. They never stopped striving for the title of the best, and commonly referred to others as their inferiors."

"Hey, hey, hey! I never said stuff like that! I only said that I was the best!" She punched a pillow for emphasis. "Besides, that doesn't really tell me who—"

She stopped, hoof still raised in the air.

"Wait just a second... Acting like you're better than the others? Competitive? Maybe headstrong, too? Applejack?!"

Derpy took a cracker.

"Your thought process is interesting, to be honest, but no. First, she doesn't strive to be the best, just to help her family stay in business. She only had a little rivalry with you. I guess you pushed her buttons."

Rainbow suddenly found the cracks on the ceiling interesting.

"Second," Derpy continued, "she has a very large family. Operations like this cannot involve too many ponies, or they would be easily compromised. But nice try, anyway. Even so, I don't think you've met the earth pony. She is called Octavia Melody. She is a musician, performing with the Fillyharmonic Orchestra."

Rainbow shook her head.

"Nope, don't know her."

"I am not surprised. Out of you three, she was kept on the tightest leash, so to say. She's very introverted, and barely spends time with anypony. Perhaps they made her so, perhaps they didn't. I'm not sure. On the other hoof, I can tell you much, much more about the unicorn."

Rainbow sighed.

"Please don't tell me it's Trixie."

"It's Trixie." said Derpy.

"Aw, hay." Rainbow gave the pillow another punch for good measure. "So, we're the three storks that do the stuff with the something something pony?"

"First of all, it's stooges. Second, I have no idea what you mean. If you're referring to the fact that you three were made by them originally, then yes, it's true. They created all three of you on the same day, and brought you to your designated parents' house."

"So I guess they got delivered to some agent pony too, right?"

Derpy scratched her ear.

"Not... exactly. You see, in your case there was a slight problem. The other two were taken to benefactors of the institution, to raise them as their own, but there wasn't a suitable pegasus family that could've housed you. So, they put you to Cloudsdale, under the care of their agents."

"I do not wish to go into details about your foalhoods," Derpy continued, "because I don't know much about them. Let's talk about my place in all this. Do you remember the day I transferred to Cloudsdale?"

Rainbow smiled.

"Yeah, you came in, and sat to Raindrops' seat. I thought she was gonna punch you, you know?"

"Yes, well, I was a bit preoccupied. You see, I was only created an hour before that." said Derpy with the same expression.

Rainbow's smile faded away.

"Say what? I remember old Cloudshaper asking you some questions, and you answered them all correctly!"

"That's true, but looking back, that was a mistake. They created me similar to a six-year old pony, so they had to implant a lot of knowledge to my brain. Don't ask me how. When I woke up in the lab, I was terrified. The place was everything I'd put under 'creepy' today. Bright white lab coats, frowning faces, insidious machinery and such. You can imagine how a five year old filly would react."

"Yeah, I think I could."

"Well, that didn't happen. I reacted like that, but only inwardly. To the lab staff, I was a failed experiment. Unresponsive, meek, and vision-impaired."

"Why did they keep you around, then?" Rainbow asked.

Derpy didn't answer at first.

"That's a question I've been pondering for a long time. They didn't really keep a watch over me after that, just shipped me to an orphanage. I guess they didn't want to waste the research data they could gain with me. Still, they didn't check upon me more than once a week, and after I became eighteen, they stopped observing me."

Rainbow looked at her with one eyebrow lowered. The manecut was a bit similar, but the colour was totally wrong, of course. Other than that, there wasn't anything about Derpy that reminded her of herself.

"So why were you created? Perfect pony number two, or what?"

"No. Three of us were created, this time taking a different approach. They theorised that to reach the epitome of abilities, they would have to create an alicorn."

"No friggin' way!" Rainbow said. Derpy simply shrugged.

"Needless to say, it didn't go as planned. They couldn't mix three pony races together to create a single pony. I'll omit the details, because I don't know many of them myself. So, they thought 'let's start with two races, and we'll work our way up from there.' That was the reason behind our creation. One earth pony and pegasus, one earth pony and unicorn, one unicorn and pegasus."

"And?" Rainbow asked.

"As I've said, they thought that I was retarded. True, I behaved strangely, but mostly because they overshot the amount of information they provided me with. To be honest, I didn't really mature over the years. The me now is probably the way I was back then. Maybe a little people skills that I've picked up, but nothing else. Of course, the fact that I could move my eyes independently wasn't a sign of failure, but neither of us knew that back then."

"Problem is, the unicorn-earth pony experiment behaved even more weird. I think her problem was that she got an earth pony body, but was able to cast magic. It manifested in her subtly warping reality around her, without even noticing it. Stretching limbs to incredible lengths, ignoring gravity, teleporting unconsciously when nopony was looking..."

"Wait a sec..." Rainbow said.

"Conjuring random items while thinking she'd stashed them earlier..." Derpy continued.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait..."

"Bursting into songs that ponies feel compelled to listen to..."

"Okay, stop! You're telling me that Pinkie is a part of this, too?"

Only when Derpy pushed her back a little did Rainbow realise that she's been pressing her nose against Derpy's. She backed down, but kept her stance.

"That depends on your definition of being involved," Derpy said. "While she indeed was created for the experiment, she was deemed too unstable to run tests on. She was left alone, like I was."

"Really?" Rainbow asked. "So tell me, why did they leave you two alone? Sudden burst of generousity?"

"I propose you practice your sarcasm a little," Derpy said. "Nevertheless, the reason they didn't dispose of us right away was the third subject. The mix of a pegasus and a unicorn."

She paused, looking out the window with a wan expression. Rainbow took the chance to sit back and sneak another cracker.

"Nopony expected her to be so... so... domineering. From the start, she displayed a frightening amount of cunning, and power. After she heard they were going to get rid of us, she blasted a room full of machinery into fine dust. She threatened the scientists with pain. Of course, they were much stronger than her at that point, but they were impressed. She seemed to be the only successful experiment out of us three."

"Later that changed, of course," Derpy continued. "She became more powerful than they'd predicted. She effectively took control of the research team, and is secretly organising the whole operation. I think her goal is to use the research for herself in the end."

"Who is she?" Rainbow asked. "Come to think of it, why are the experiments all mares?"

"I do not know the answer to your second question," Derpy said. "I could theorise that it's easier to create mares, or stallions are harder to control, but I really don't know. As for the first... it's Lyra."

Rainbow stood up.

"That's it, I've had enough. You say things I'm having a really hard time believeing, and even if I could accept them, that would mean that you knew all this all along! Yet you did. Not. Do. A. Single. Thing! About! IT!"

A dangerous glint appeared in Derpy's eyes.

"Do something about it? What exactly do you suppose I could have done against a whole organisation, huh? Start beating them up until I get overwhelmed? Go public to get taken care of discretely? They left me alone, so I left them alone. It's as simple as that."

"Simple?!" Rainbow shouted. "Don't you have a heart?! You let all the clones of me die, and hay knows what else happened with a vaporising-happy unicorn prancing around! Are you fine with this?!"

"I don't care!" Derpy said with a somewhat raised voice. "I'm not a stupid optimist like you are! If it was the reverse, they wouldn't care about me either!" She huffed, giving Rainbow a condescending look. "Either way, I'm the smarter one here. Don't jump to conclusions when you were just notified of things."

Rainbow spread her wings, and stomped heavily on the ground.

"I might not be smart, but I'm not stupid! Even if you're smarter, what does it matter? You live alone, with no friends, maintain a facade so that ponies would not get close to you, and for what? What can you show that you achieved? You're smarter than me? Congratulations! Twilight's still smarter than you! You live on your own in your own house? Oh hey, this just shows how big of a loner you are!"

Derpy was stunned, her mouth half-open. Rainbow glared daggers at her, huffing slightly. It took quite a while for both of them to regain their composure.

"To be honest," Derpy said, "you were the the last pony I expected to be lashing out at me. You're... somewhat right. I ignored everything they did. But tell me this: what could I have done? I had no idea the mind control could be undone, up until today. Otherwise, I'm no hero. I prefer to be left alone. I don't want to change the world."

Rainbow huffed.

"You should."

"Then what?"

"You just said it yourself! You know how to undo the mind control! You know where the ponies in question live, and who they are!"

"So you're suggesting we go and just smack them across the head?" Derpy asked with a somewhat annoyed expression.

"Exactly!" Rainbow replied. "I don't know, but I've been itching to knock some sense into Trixie ever since she showed up in town with that amulet!"

"Oh yeah. That was quite fun." Derpy said. Rainbow stared at her in disbelief.

"You weren't even there!"

"Oh yes, I was. Moving on..."

She trotted back to the couch, and sat on it facing Rainbow.

"Let's suppose we knock some sense into Trixie and Octavia. Then what?"

"Uh... hello? Most powerful ponies ever created?"

"One of whom just happened to die 217 times..." Derpy interjected in an innocent tone.

"Oh, shut up. What were you planning to do with me, anyway?"

"I thought I would offer you a place to hide."

"Hah! Don't you know? Rainbow Dash doesn't hide from anypony!"

"What about Rainbow Dash the 217th?" Derpy asked. Rainbow paused.

"She would like to know where the bathroom is."

About an hour later, a clean, and no longer dizzy Rainbow Dash stretched her hooves.

"All right! Where are we going exactly?"

"Rainbow, it's half past nine. Besides, you are probably exhausted from the drug Bon Bon gave you."

"I am," she admitted, "but we shouldn't waste any more time bickering. The sooner we free those two, the better."

"I don't think that much would change if we waited a day. For the record, Octavia hadn't died once... yet." Derpy said.

"How do you know that anyway?"

"I once snuck a glance at a report Lyra received. Remember, mailmare."

"They sent secret letters by post?! Aren't they supposed to be, well secret?"

"Who would look at a simple letter sent through the postal service?" Derpy pointed out. "She periodically receives reports about you three. I usually read them. Death rates are not always mentioned, though."

Now that Rainbow was sure that they wouldn't do anything else that day, she stopped fighting her tiredness, and let a yawn slip out.

"I left you some food on the table," Derpy's voice called out."You can have a late lunch while I take a shower."

Rainbow only ate a few scraps before stuffing everything back into the fridge. She then proceeded to search for Derpy's bedroom. Sice the house wasn't that big, she walked in there to find the grey pegasus rummaging through a wardrobe. She only spared a passing glance at her.

"I'm having difficulty finding a spare bedsheet. It's embarassing, but you'll have to sleep without one."

"There's one on the bed," Ranbow said.

"Yes, but that's my—Hey!"

Before she could react, Rainbow slipped in her bed, already positioning herself to be comfortable. She gave an innocent look to Derpy.

"What?"

"I'm not sleeping on the couch!" Derpy said. Rainbow shrugged at that.

"Well, I guess you'll have to suck it up, and share your bed."

"I'm not sleeping with you!"

Rainbow cocked her head.

"Huuuh? You're way too early to even suggest that! Some courting would have been more appropriate, no?"

Derpy started becoming red from the tip of her ear.

"You know damn well what I meant!"

Rainbow nodded.

"Yes. But it's too fun to pass up on taking you down a notch."

Derpy sighed.

"Move your arse!"