Why it's a bad idea to be a genocidal bitch
The invasion had been years and years of horrific warfare, just for the sake of showing the humans the true meaning of friendship.
Hundreds of thousands, neigh, millions of good ponies had died to save an ungrateful race from itself.
The inception of the Conversion Bureau was by far the worst, however, as the peaceful citizens had no way to combat this magic-less and barbaric race of technologically inclined savages.
She had seen what technology had done to ponies; it made them arrogant, made them deceitful...
It made them Evil.
And so, as the ruling Princess of Equestria, Celestia had purposefully touted the magic of the land as the most powerful force in existence, and it was, truly. For what technology could allow one to cross the barriers between Universes so easily? What technology could allow a single being to fly faster than sound without any external aid? None at all.
And with the Magic of Friendship in mind, Celestia had peered beyond the shimmering Veil between Universes to see what pitiful and friendless beings lay beyond her perfect world of sunshine and happiness.
Pitiful and friendless beings she found in the form of these ‘Humans’. She knew that they were doomed from the start; humankind had never learned to harness the latent magic of their Universe, in fact, there was barely any magic to begin with, barely enough for sustained pegasus flight.
Celestia had been shocked at the sheer hatred she had felt from beyond the Veil, and she knew what she had to do. And thus, the invasion of Earth began.
Losses were inevitable, though Celestia had kept morale high with her ever increasingly zealous speeches on how the might of Equestria would destroy the evil technology of the barbarians and how the humans would learn the magic of Friendship and Harmony if they had to slaughter every last one of them.
And as time passed, she never even noticed how her beloved ponies became ever increasingly bloodthirsty, how the supply of freshly converted ponies drew ever smaller, how her beloved ponies had started to use the hated technology in order to capture ever more humans.
And yet, the humans never seemed to end. They never gave up on their precious technology, despite her warnings that it would corrupt them even further than they already had been. In fact, this only drove them further from her magic.
Slowly, it became apparent that the humans were losing the war, even with growing casualties on both sides. But after years of attrition, Equestria’s might fully showed itself with new and powerful magicks specially created to destroy and counter the humans’ corrupted machines. Slowly, but surely, Equestria advanced, retaking the Earth in the name of her Imperial Majesty, Princess Celestia. And the advance became ever quicker with the return of her Imperial Majesty, Princess Luna and the advent of her Imperial Majesty, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
With the three Princesses commanding from the front lines, and her Imperial Majesty of the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence serving to ease the transition on the home front, the Equestrian forces became unstoppable. Every downed human became another addition to the ever expanding Equestrian army; no longer just ponies, now comprised of the various races of beings annexed into Equestria after the war became too costly for just Equestria’s economy. Griffon soldiers soon joined the retrieval teams, Minotaurs guarding the camps, Sea Serpents aiding in naval warfare, Changelings providing intelligence and spies, Zebras creating ever more complex tranquilizers and poisons.
The Conversion Bureau soon overtook the homefront, replacing Equestria and annexing all of Equus into the glorious Solar Empire.
And as the Empire advanced, the projected time for the war to end shrank, from the decades predicted when the war started, to mere weeks.
And finally, finally, after eighteen long years of tragedy, bloodshed, and loss, the war had finally ended. The Solar Empire had overtaken the chaotic and disorganized humans, converting them all into the Equestrian races to live in peace and harmony forevermore.
Princess Celestia awoke early, several hours before dawn, same as always. The day, however, was a special day. An auspicious day. The day after the end of the long and arduous war that had taken so many good beings from the harmony of the Solar Empire.
She couldn’t help but smile as she prepared for the coming dawn and the celebration to be held later that day.
In fact, she was so happy that she just had to sing a little tune, just to express herself to the background harmony of her perfect world.
“This day is surely to be perfect~
The kind of day of which I’ve dreamed about for years~
Everypony will gather ‘round,
Say I look lovely in my crown,
For today the humans have finally disappeared~”
Celestia giggled to herself, finally she could be happy after eighteen long years of endless warfare.
Hearing a knock at her door, she trotted over, giddier than she had been in a very long time. On the other side stood her sister and her student, both about the same height now, as opposed to Twilight’s average unicorn size all those years in the past.
“Sister, Twilight, good morning to you both,” she greeted, a genuine smile blooming onto her face, once again, for the first time in years.
“A good morning to you as well, sister,” Luna replied, sharing her sister’s glee. “Our subjects are already gathered for your victory speech.” she added, gesturing down the hallway.
“Oh! I’m so excited that this war is finally over!” Twilight exclaimed, clapping her hooves.
“Yes, Twilight, we all are. And today’s celebration will show everyone that friendship and harmony truly are the strongest forces in the Universe, be it this one, or any others.”
“Come sister, the crowds grow restless.” Luna chimed in, already out the door, trotting down the hall at a brisk pace.
“Of course, Luna. Come along Twilight, we mustn't keep the people waiting.” Twilight was quick to take her spot at Celestia’s side, giddy with anticipation.
Luna took her spot on the balcony, leaving the main spotlight for Celestia herself.
And as Celestia strode forward, she rose the sun, giving her a brilliant backdrop of the most beautiful sunrise she had ever created.
Amidst the cheers of the various races present, what seemed to be millions packed into the city proper and thousands more outside, Celestia took up her spot at the dais, ready for her speech to begin the first annual Day of Perfect Harmony.
“My dear, beloved subjects. It is with great honor that I present to you this celebration. The first annual Day of Perfect Harmony.
Today is a day of remembrance and acceptance, of happiness and friendship, of harmony and laughter. So, my subjects, both ponies and otherwise, I urge you all to eat, drink, and be merry, for today we have ended the longest war in the history of this world!
Today we are victorious!
Today we stand proud!
Today we have conquered the scourge of humanity and finally brought friendship and harmony to their desolate and corrupted world!
But, my dear subjects, today is not just about cheer. For I urge you to remember your fallen comrades and friends, for they have died to see this day come to fruition. Remember them well and live on in their memory.
Honor their memory by never forgetting that we, all of us together, we are the most powerful nation in the Universe! We are strong! We are united! We are harmonious!
We have shown another Universe the beauty of friendship and harmony and we have become all the stronger for it. For though our losses are numerous, we have gained so much more. We have finally united all of this planet, we have brought the corruptive influence of technology to a halt! We–”
The sound of laughter filled the city, cutting off Celestia’s speech. “ Oh... I love how you actually think you accomplished something positive!” a voice called out, echoing over the crowd.
“What!? Who said that!?”
“That would be me,” the voice answered again. It belonged to a young human male, sitting on a ledge near the balcony. He didn’t seem at all phased by the wind, his hair remaining in a static position. “ Greetings Celestia, this meeting has been a long time coming.”
“Wha- how!? We converted all of you humans into ponies! How is this possible!? And what do you mean ‘Long time coming’!?”
“Actually, you didn’t convert a single person.” the human said standing up and stepping off the ledge. Instead of falling to his death, he merely kept on walking, keeping his eyes on her.
Celestia merely stared in shock and confusion, unable to form a single word.
“Allow me to demonstrate.” he said closing his eyes and extending his arms. Within an instant, all the ponies that had been converted vanished without a trace. The city around them changed, once proud skyscrapers were now bare skeletons, some having collapsed completely. The ground fared no better, with the rusted hulks of cars and centuries of overgrowth covering most of it.
“What!? How is this possible!? No magic could have done this much damage so quickly! What have you done?” Celestia was beside herself in shock and rage; this human had dared to destroy her new city and vanish her new subjects without a single care!?
“They never existed Celestia, it was all merely an illusion, created by myself and a few others like me,” he said simply, rather impassively. “In reality, you’ve pretty much wasted the last 18 years of everyones lives.”
“...” She couldn’t speak. She could barely breath. She couldn’t move either. What was this human saying?
“I believe this requires a bit of backstory,” he started, starting to pace around. “You see, humans no longer exist as a species. Around a thousand years ago, we ascended to a higher plane of existence, leaving behind our physical forms. We left Mother Earth to heal from the wounds we inflicted upon her and spread out across the fabric of the Universe,” he threw his arms out to accentuate his point, “Eventually, we decided to test the non-ascended races to see if they were ready to ascend, hence what you have experienced for the past 18 years.”
Denial suddenly took hold of her, “No! NO! This can’t be happening! This has to be just a dream! You can’t be real! This can’t be real! There is no way a bunch of corrupt and evil beings like you could have fooled me, fooled all of Equus for all of eighteen years!”
“I love how you call us corrupt and evil but you're the one who advocated genocide, who forced your beliefs on a group that didn’t want them. You're the one who turned a race of peaceful creatures into bloodthirsty savages.” he countered, staring into her eyes with a cold hate. “You are everything you claim to oppose. You have failed our test Celestia, you and your entire race. You showed such promise,” he sighed, looking at Twilight. “You most of all Ms.Twilight.”
Twilight’s legs began to shake as Celestia snapped, “HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME WHAT I OPPOSE! I DID EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO BRING PEACE AND HARMONY TO YOUR PATHETIC RACE! I KNOW WHAT HORRORS I HAVE DONE TO YOUR RACE, BUT I HAVE MADE THEM BETTER THAN THEY EVER COULD HAVE BEEN WITHOUT ME AND MINE! LEAVE THIS PLACE FOUL SPECTER BEFORE I DESTROY YOU AND ALL THOSE YOU CALL YOUR OWN!”
“Try.” he said simply, his eyes never leaving hers.
With an inarticulate scream of pure hatred, Celestia dropped her sun, allowing it to extinguish and channeling her suddenly freed magic into the most destructive beam of power she could ever hope to make. Not stopping there, Celestia lost herself to her rage, her mane and tail flaring into blazing sunfire as she stripped the very magic of Equus and channeled it through herself. Higher and higher her rage grew as more and more of her beloved subjects died, until even the planet became drained, cracking and shattering into dust.
Back on Earth, Twilight and Luna were also drained into dessicated corpses as Celestia formed her spell.
And when she unleashed it, the human merely caught it, collecting all the magic she threw at him until she was left drained herself, weak and blank flanked.
“You truly are a sickening creature Celestia,” he said, looking at her in disgust,”Look at what you’ve done in your pursuit of hatred.” he gestured to the destruction around them, his expression changing to one of sadness.
“Why?....How?” Even now, Celestia still put up some modicum of resistance to the human’s lecture
“You are lucky life and death have become trivial to us,” he said closing his eyes, he sent the energy he had taken in back out, repairing all the damage she had caused, though he did not return her magic. He looked visibly drained, though he looked as stoic as ever. “Twilight Sparkle,” he snapped, moving his attention to the youngest alicorn.
She quivered a bit where she stood before swallowing and asking, “Y-yes?”
“Celestia has proven that she is no longer fit to rule your world. She has spent the last eighteen years waging a genocidal war. Think you can do better?”
“W-what....?” she asked looking rather dumbfounded.
“We would never think to meddle in the affairs of other races but you have shown great promise, and I believe that one day, under your leadership, the races of Equus will join us.”
Twilight stared at her hooves before taking in a breath. “I’ll do it.”
“Good. I hope to see you again one day.” the human said with a smile before fading away into oblivion.
Celestia merely collapsed into a sobbing heap of feathers muttering, “Why?” over and over, with the occasional, “I’m sorry” thrown in.
“You used to be the best of us,” Twilight said, looking down at Celestia with a mix of pity and disgust. “Take her to a secure location, I’ll deal with her later.” she ordered to the guards. “Luna... what have we become?” she asked, tearing up, looking at her fellow princess.
“I know not, Twilight, but whatever it is….. it is nothing to be proud of.”
“We’ll be better than we were, we have to be.” Twilight declared, staring up at the sky, wondering just how many eyes were watching them.
Epilogue: Six years later
“Well, it looks like leaving Twilight Sparkle in charge of Equus was a good idea,” a voice rang out through the infinite cosmos, one of billions, all watching Equestria with a keen eye.
“Indeed, I must applaud your choice. Well, I would if I still had hands. It seems as though young Twilight is much better than her former mentor. Speaking of which, what happened to her anyway?”
“She’s facing justice for the atrocities she’s done…. well, the atrocities everyone had thought she had done, at least.”
“I see.”
Far below, on a tiny pale dot with a small star orbiting it, a lavender alicorn stared up into the night sky, reflecting on the hard work she had put into fixing her kingdom over the last six years. And as she gazed upon the infinite cosmos above, she whispered, more to herself than anything, “I wonder…. have I made you proud? Have I done what you wanted me to?”
And though there was no reply she could hear, the sky seemed brighter for just a moment, and she swore she could see the face of the human who had appeared those six years ago imprinted on the moon with a light smile on his face.
She smiled, knowing that she had done the right thing after all, and turned to go back inside. It was getting late, and her student had a long night of lessons ahead of her before she could rejoin the world as a productive member of society.
“Hmm, I wonder what Celestia would think if she saw what I just did…. probably need another lesson on the true meaning of harmony.”
Finis
