The Ballad of Tom
A/N: I’ll slowly release the song as the story comes out. It’s to be sung to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon.” If you want the whole thing at once, PM me, but be warned, there’ll be spoilers.
“Tom, the magic boulder lived on a hill,
He sat there all his days, listened to the birds trill,
‘Til one fateful day, he got in a magic bind
And it did suddenly transform his mind!
Tom sat on a hill. Like always. Not that he minded.
Why didn’t he mind?
Because he was an inanimate object. He couldn’t distinguish one day from the next. He didn’t even have a mind! How could he remember anything? He didn’t remember anything about Rarity carrying him around after Discord’s escape.
He didn’t even remember why he was on this hill.
This hill was all he knew.
The tweeting of the birds.
The gurgling of the nearby creek.
That was the world to him.
He didn’t remember the purple unicorn putting him up here.
He didn’t recognize her when she came to that hill.
He certainly didn’t expect what came next.
Twilight walked up the hill, remembering back to when Rarity had told her to dispose of the rock. She rolled the rock away, but told Twilight to go a step further and take it somewhere she wouldn’t be able to find it if she tried.
That’s how she found this place.
Tom, the magic boulder lived on a hill,
He sat there all his days, listened to the birds trill,
Tom, the magic boulder lived on a hill,
He sat there all his days, listened to the birds trill,
This place was perfect for her spells when she really needed to concentrate. Spike had been annoying her all morning, and she decided she couldn’t take it anymore, so she loaded up her wagon with her materials and set off for this spot.
Today she was going to figure out how Flim and Flam’s machine had worked. She knew it had something to do with magic, it was merely a matter of finding the right spell and reverse engineering it. Then she could build all kinds of interesting contraptions.
She pulled out the machinery pieces and assembled them into a grinder, pulling out an apple and putting it on top. She looked through her spell book for a fitting spell. When she found one she read the description aloud.
“Animate Object: for temporarily animating objects. For advanced spell casters only.” She put a hoof to her chin, pondering. “Animate can mean to get something to move… I suppose it’s worth a shot. I am an advanced spell caster after all.”
She lit up her horn, concentrating as hard as she could on the spell, and tapping into her magic.
“Come on… I can do this… No! I’m losing control! Ah!” she screamed, as she blacked out.
When she awoke, she looked around. Thankfully everything was the same.
Birds? Check.
Small stream? Check.
No massive crater? Check.
Cart floating in midair? Che-“Wait what?!” she said aloud. She checked to make sure she wasn’t accidentally lifting it. No.
So then what was? There wasn’t a magical aura around it, and it couldn’t be lifting itself… could it? Did the spell maybe hit it instead and-
“Hello there. What are you?” A voice asked in her head.
“What? Who’s there?” She asked aloud.
“I’m… what am I? I can’t remember…” The voice in her mind continued.
“Well you’ve got to be something!” She exclaimed.
“Here. I’ll put this – whatever it is – on my head and you can tell me what I am.” The voice said.
The cart floated up, and was set down on top of ‘Tom.’
Twilight laughed. “Okay, nice one Pinkie and Rainbow. It’s not funny anymore.”
“Pinkie? Rainbow? Are they friends of yours? Are they the same as you? You still haven’t told me what you are.” The voice persisted.
"Yes - no - kind of… Wait a minute! Neither of them are unicorns so they couldn't put a voice in my head… Sure RD could've lifted the cart with a rope but I don't see one attached to the cart… And they're the only ones I know that would prank me like this…" Twilight droned on, "So that must mean… That you're actually alive?" She asked, turning to Tom.
"Well, it HAS been what I'm trying to tell you…" Tom said in her head.
You wonder how it happened, how this stone became mighty
Poor Tom had sat atop that hill, until came the almighty
Oh, magic can do anythin’, and so it did that morn
And so a brand new consciousness was born
"Well excuse me for not thinking a rock is alive! That's a little crazy, don't you think?" She asked.
"Ah… so I am a 'rock'? Why am I only now waking up? I feel like I've been asleep for a very long time… And I can't remember very much…" Tom said.
"Well… Here's all I know about you: my friend unearthed you, thinking you were a diamond because of an evil being named 'Discord'. When she awoke from the trance, she had me take you up here on this hill. You've sat up here ever since." Twilight said.
"So… I'm just an immobile 'rock' then? …that's rather depressing." Tom said. "I don't even have a name!"
"Actually, she did name you. 'Tom' if I remember correctly. And besides, now you're sentient! And you can cast magic! Most ponies can't cast magic you know." Twilight pointed out.
"Tom, huh? You keep talking about these other ponies… Can you take me to see them? I can't exactly lift myself…" Tom said.
"Sure! I'd be happy to! I need to send a letter to Celestia about this incident anyway…" Twilight said, picking up Tom with her magic, heading back towards Ponyville.
Before long, Rainbow Dash came flying up. "Hey Twi! …Uh, why are you carrying Rarity's rock around…?"
"I am not just anypony's rock! I am Tom, and I'm my own… rock. But I'm still sentient!" Tom said in both their minds.
"What?!" Rainbow Dash said, swerving and landing to make sure she didn't crash. "Uh, Twilight, did that rock just say something?" she asked.
"I'm not just a rock, I'm Tom! Sheesh, I'm right here you know." Tom said.
"By accident I cast a spell on Tom here. Now he's sentient, and can even cast spells. I told him I'd carry him into the town, and he's kind of heavy, so if we could please continue walking…" Twilight said.
"Sure. Wow! A rock - ("HEY!") - that's sentient! That's pretty cool Twi. But what about the cider machine? Any progress?" Rainbow asked.
"You know, you really should see a doctor about that. Your obsession with cider isn't -" Twilight was interrupted.
"TWILIGHT! What are you doing with that rock?!?!?" Rarity screamed from across the field.
