Chapters Chapter 1: Operation LMACHS
It had been an unusually peaceful day in Ponyville and everypony was finishing their business as the sun began to set. The pegasi were buzzing about as the unicorns and earth ponies were cantering around the town square, all enjoying the pleasant Spring weather granted to them by the grace of Princess Celestia and the weather team. It seemed that everypony had either spent such a fine day relaxing or working hard. One pony in particular had worked arduously in order to keep his ridiculously pumped body in shape. This pony was Snowflake.
Snowflake was a pale stallion with a blonde mane and blood red eyes. What set him apart from other ponies(besides his red eyes) was his extremely muscular body stature. Extreme is an understatement. Snowflake was almost the same height as Celestia and his muscles were bulging all around his freakishly powerful frame. Rumors tell of Snowflake’s swollen pecs, abdominals and other muscles being the product of steroid overdose. What made the rumors even more believable were the tiny, feather-covered appendages he called wings. But gossip was just gossip and Snowflake had actually earned every fiber of over-pumped muscle on his bodacious bod.
Since Snowflake was so outrageously muscular, he was probably a jerk right? Wrong you silly, silly ponies! So silly! Although Snowflake’s appearance was that of a testosterone filled behemoth, he was actually quite the opposite. He was a gentle giant who would never harm a fly so long as it didn’t come within the range of his death grip. He enjoyed taking walks(in his case sprints at the speed of 60MPH), drinking tea(filled to the brim with protein supplements), eating out(his marefriends), and other neat things anypony else would enjoy doing. Snowflake was just like you and I behind that stone wall he called a body!
So it was after a hard day of working out that our dear Snowflake was relaxing in the town square when he caught sight of a floating piece of parchment that indicated the where and whenabouts an event was taking place. It was during the afternoon that our burly pegasus protagonist got the message that all pegasi were to assemble at the library for a debriefing on the upcoming water transfer via tornado power. Just the thought of such an exciting event fueled Snowflake, causing his blood to boil. He wanted to...to...just scream! But he didn't. Snowflake did not want his trademark war cries to become too common, he had to reserve them for just the right moments. If he were to use them everytime he felt pumped, he would be screaming half the day! That would make his invigorating shouts nothing more than some cheap comic relief, and so our robust hero held in his battle roar for a more special occasion and proceeded to make his way towards the library, practically galloping along the way.
~Now let's join our heroine, shall we?~
Although she was not looking forward to the hurricane, Fluttershy came at the behest of her friend, Rainbow Dash, who was trying to get everypony in the library pumped up for the upcoming making of the hurricane in order to defeat, no, explode the old record! She proceeded to try and get the pegasi of Ponyville inspired.
“Are we gonna train hard?”
“Yeah!” The pegasi chanted back.
“Are we gonna be strong?”
“Yeah!” The crowd cheered once more.
“Are we gonna be fast?”
“Yeah!” This was when Rainbow Dash got into Snowflake’s face and asked:
“Record breaking fast?!”
Then Fluttershy heard it. It was as if a symphony of microscopic body builders were inflicting multitudes of hay makers upon the insides of her ears. It was the most beautiful, most wonderful, most…nice sound she had ever heard in her life. And it went:
“YEEEAAAAAAH!”
Fluttershy immediately turned and spotted the source of the angelic voice. A giant white hunk of mass near the front of the crowd of pegasi was fuming with excitement. He was already sweating from anticipation and his perspiration was causing the other ponies around him to feel mildly uncomfortable. Fluttershy paid them no heed, for only one thing was on her mind, and that was the gargantuan stallion standing several feet in front of her.
Fluttershy felt a wingie coming on. Feeling embarrassed, she crawled through the crowd towards the exit of the library. As soon as she was outside, she allowed her wings to spring fully and shivered as the night air blew past her stiff protrusions.
“Oh, goodness. This is bad.” Fluttershy whispered to herself.
She did not want anyone to see her in such a state and so she went into a gallop and soon after took off into the night towards her cottage. Once at her humble abode, Fluttershy decided that she absolutely had to know more about the stallion. She didn't know his name, where he was from, not even if he actually lived in Ponyville. This did not surprise her though, since she rarely went out of her way to meet new ponies. Fluttershy then decided that in order to find out who this mysterious dream colt was, she would have to follow and observe him.
"Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Maybe I should invite the girls to help me!" But after thinking on it a bit more, Fluttershy decided that she did not want her friends to know about her crush just yet. It would be much too embarrassing! With that thought in mind, Fluttershy made her way back to the library to perform her stakeout. She hid behind a bush, her hiding spot conspicuous, and whispered:
"Operation Learn More About the Cute Hunk of Stallion...commence!" She giggled to herself as ponies around her just stared.
~Back to our hero!~
When Snowflake exited the library, it was dark. He began trotting towards his home, looking for a runway long enough for him to take off, as it was difficult for him to ascend just like any other pegasus would due to his huge body and tiny wings. As he was looking for a good spot to fly off of, Snowflake had the strangest feeling that he was being watched. He was used to people gazing upon his glorious pecs, but this was different. It had an eerie feeling to it...He used his enhanced senses he achieved through rigorous training and determined the location of the spy. The source of the odd feeling seemed to be coming from behind a small bush. It was hard to see what it was exactly due to the lack of lighting, but Snowflake determined to be...some sort of monster! One that had tendrils growing from its head and huge piercing eyes that drilled into his soul. It looked like some beast from a cliche horror novel, just waiting to prey on unsuspecting victims.
'Why, how dare this ugly piece of manure prey on the innocent ponies of Ponyville?!' Snowflake thought in his head.
'You mess with Ponyvillians, you mess with me. I'm gonna hang you by your intestines you creep!' exclaimed the now pumped up stallion in his head. He was sure not to make a noise as he quietly cantered up to see this monster dealt justice himself.
The figure seemed to take notice that it was spotted and ducked underneath the foliage with a yelp. Snowflake was going to teach this beast a lesson and began inching closer to it. As he came within demolishing range, he realized that it was just a flimsy looking mare doing...something behind the bushes. Maybe pinching a grumpy due to the bathroom being occupied? He suddenly felt very awkward about the whole situation and decided to back off to give her space to do her business. As for the staring earlier, Snowflake brushed it off as her being afraid of any witnesses of her private time, that or she was bewildered by his herculean physique. Either way, he decided to mind his own business and just go home. Snowflake proceeded to take air and with a powerful gust, he lifted off and blazed through the sky to his home on the opposite side of Ponyville.
Fluttershy opened her eyes. She was scared stiff behind the bush after being spotted by her crush. She saw the murderous intent in his eyes after he had found out he was being followed. She saw how angry he looked, but then he just suddenly left. Fluttershy realized that he must not have been able to spot her in her perfect hiding spot! She was so proud of herself, she felt like one of those things crazy ol' Lyra always talked about. Those mythical human sub-species called...Nindgas? It didn't matter what they were called, Fluttershy was definitely feeling boss at that exact moment. This event only boosted her resolve and encouraged her to proceed with her shenanigans, and thus she chased after her love interest.
~Several hours later...~
Snowflake, unaware that he had been tailed was getting some overnight exercise done in his garage.He still had the nagging feeling that he was being watched, but he decided that he was simply working himself too hard and decided to hit the hay.
A few feet away, Fluttershy was half asleep, dreaming of her future with her dream stallion. She was awoken from her reverie by the sprinklers. It was midnight and Snowflake had gone into his house. She tried desperately to peek into the windows and get at least a glimpse of him, but after several failed attempts she decided to go back home for the day. She needed to know everything about him. She had already found out that his adorably ironic name was Snowflake. She also found that he worked as a model for several body building and sports magazines. She found out his age, birthday, favorite food(high protein forage), and she even took his measurements while he was asleep. But this was not enough for our dear Fluttershy. No, the timid mare had to know more about him, and the only way to do so was to overcome her bashful nature and talk to him. Or she could inquire Rainbow Dash and milk her for all the information she had on the sexy stallion. She chose the latter.
*End of Chapter 1*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huh, I had fun writing that. I know there wasn't much commentary in this chapter, but that's only because this is the intro. Also, my sense of humor might seem a tad bit bizarre to you folk, but if you like my work, give me a thumbs up and comment or something! I might not reply due to...um...studying and totally not playing Tera, but do not fret, I will read them. Bye!
The next morning, Fluttershy flew as fast as her flimsy little wings allowed her to. She was headed towards Rainbow Dash’s cloud pad in order to find out anything she knew about Snowflake. As soon as she was in front of the cloud door, she daintily knocked on it thrice. The door poofed open and out popped Rainbow Dash’s head, her multihued mane a mess and bags under her squinting magenta eyes. She looked irritated to be bothered so early in the morning but loosened up as she recognized her visitor as one of her bestest buds.
“Fluttershy? Hey, why are you bugging me so early in the morning?” Rainbow Dash’s tone of voice was soft, letting Fluttershy know that she wasn’t angry.
“Oh, good morning Rainbow Dash. So sorry to be bothering you but I had something I wanted to ask you”, said our adorable little heroine.
“Yeah what is it?” asked Rainbow. Fluttershy just stood there, staring at her hooves, one of which were kicking the surface of the cloud from embarrassment. “C’mon, spit it out!”
“Well…could we go inside first? I doubt anyone would be able to hear us this high up but it would make it a whole lot easier for me to ask you…Please?” asked the now fidgeting Fluttershy.
“Um, yeah sure. Come on in.” As they walked into Rainbow Dash’s house, Fluttershy felt slightly more at ease not being in the open. She looked around and noticed that everything was pretty much the same as any other time she visited, fluffy and adorned with trophies and Wonderbolts merchandise.
Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, “So what’s on your mind Fluttershy?
The timid pegasus gave a shy smile. “Well Rainbow Dash, there was a really important question I wanted to ask you. It’s really embarrassing and I know it’s going to be hard for you to make room in your busy schedule, what with the tornado and all, but I hope you say yes…”After she had spoken, Fluttershy was blushing hard and shuffling her hooves quite a bit. After wondering why Fluttershy was acting so strange, Rainbow Dash remembered that her friend only acted this way when she had a crush on somepony. She knew exactly what the shy Pegasus in front of her wanted to ask and was happy to oblige. She lifted a hoof up and brushed it against Fluttershy’s cheek, moving a few strands of hair to reveal her totally adorbs face.
“Shh, no more words, you don’t have to be shy. I've seen the way you stare and I know exactly what you want. I can make room in my schedule just for you. You don’t even have to ask, the Dash is all yours”, cooed Rainbow Dash in the most sultry way that she could deviate from her normally raspy, tomboyish voice.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash was in a neck breaking hug as Fluttershy semi-yelled, “Oh, thank you so much Rainbow Dash! I’m so happy right now that I could just scream!” But Fluttershy held in her shout and settled for a squee.
Rainbow Dash gently pushed herself out of the hug and once again mustered her sexy voice. “Look babe, I know you’re excited, but why don’t we start this slow? Give me some time to freshen up and I’ll meet you down at town square around dinnertime. We can talk while we get something to eat. Cool?”
Fluttershy was a little weirded out by the bizarre way Rainbow Dash was talking but she guessed that all of the hard work she was putting into the whole hurricane business must have finally caught up to her. Perhaps she had some sort of cold? Although she was concerned, Fluttershy decided not to pry and said, “So cool! Thank you so much Rainbow Dash. I’ll see you then!” and she flew off to her own home to get ready for her informative rendezvous with Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash watched her go with a dumb smile on her face. Everything was looking up for her. She was leading the making of what was going to be the biggest tornado Equestria had ever seen, she had a chance to impress the Wonderbolts at said event, and the thing that made her heart flutter the most was that she now had a marefriend! And not just any mare either. It was Fluttershy, one of the cutest ponies in town and one of her most trusted and best friends! She had always had a thing for the shy mare since flight school but never pursued it, thinking they were nothing more than friendly affection. That is, until Fluttershy came over. Her appearance and inability to ask the obvious made Rainbow Dash realize that she felt more than just friendly affection for the quiet pegasus. And now she had a date with her! Things were starting to look good for ole Rainbow Dash.
The colorful pony breathed a sigh of content and stepped into the bathroom to get pampered up for her date later that day. She rarely prettied herself up, but this was a special occasion and she wanted to impress Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash walked into the bathroom and looked through the cabinets and soon realized that she didn't have any makeup or hair products to get her unruly mane in control. After a short moment of pondering, she thought out loud, “I better go to Rarity’s. I could give her the lowdown on me and Fluttershy while she gives me a…m-m-makeover.” She almost gagged at the last word but held it in and was soon off to Carousel Boutique at breakneck speed.
~At the cottage~
“Oh Angel, I’m so excited! Today I get to find out all about that nice stallion Snowflake! I can’t wait to meet up with Rainbow Dash”, squeed Fluttershy to her pet, Angel bunny, who was looking none too pleased by his owner’s antics. He knew Fluttershy had fallen head over heels for this “Snowflake” character and he was worried over the way she was obsessing over him. All around her room were blurry pictures of some type of white bulky creature. Angel knew that Fluttershy would only cause trouble in her current state of mind and so he tried to stop her from going out and doing something stupid by thumping one of his wittle bunny legs on the ground in mock expectation.
“Oh, I’m sorry Angel bunny but no snacks right now. Mama’s got some business to take care of before going out. Do behave now and make sure the other animals eat please!” said Fluttershy.
Angel was desperately trying to find a way to stop her, for he knew that his owner did weird things when she got like this. Right when he was about to throw something at her head to get her attention, he heard a door close. Fluttershy was out, finishing whatever she needed to do before meeting up with Rainbow Dash. “Crud”, thought Angel bunny.
~Carousel Boutique~
Rainbow Dash smashed through one of the windows of Carousel Boutique and landed in a heap of tangled limbs and fabrics. She was used to crash landings by now and immediately righted herself. She then noticed a gaping Rarity at the center of the establishment and gave her an apologetic smile before she said:
“Boy do I have some news for you Rarity! Oh, and sorry about the window.”
Rarity was used to her friend’s grand entrances and tried not to let it get to her. With a sigh, Rarity asked, “Are you quite alright Rainbow Dash? And what’s this about news? It’s not like you to just visit my shop on a whim so I assume it’s important.”
Rainbow Dash brushed herself off then spoke. “Oh yeah, it’s a hoot! But before I tell you, I need your help with prettying myself up and junk. Maybe you could take me to that spa you’re always going to or something?”
Rarity was baffled. She had never imagined her spunky tomboy of a friend ever wanting to engage in more lavish activities such as a trip to the spa, let alone a makeover. It was taking a while for her brain to come to terms with what she had just heard and so Rainbow Dash took the opportunity to ask:
“Oh, I’m gonna need you to spot me because I left my bits at home. I’ll pay you in gossip though. Trust me, it’ll be worth it!”
Rarity scowled at that but simply nodded and got her saddlebag, and soon they were off to the spa.
~At Snowflake’s house~
Snowflake was getting fit, well more fit than he normally was, for the upcoming tornado. At that moment he was on his ninety-ninth rep of wing push-ups and was about to take a break.
“ONE HUNDRED! *GASP WHEEZE* This tornado record is going to be high-protein hay cake! BRING. IT. OOOOON!” Snowflake exclaimed, startling a few pony passersby as he did so. Although he was absolutely pumped and looking forward to nuking the tornado record, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something weird was going to happen to him soon.
His muscle senses were telling him that he was going to be the center of a very strange series of events and that made
him feel very uneasy. He decided to call it a day and go to town square for some grub before his photo shoot for the Equestrian news magazine, “Mane Attraction”. Snowflake was excited since all of Ponyville, neigh, all of Equestria would be seeing the fruit of his labor! His head in the clouds, Snowflake proceeded to go into his home and get ready for the day ahead of him.
~At the Ponyville Day Spa~
Rarity and Rainbow Dash were relaxing in the mud baths after skipping the hooficures at Rainbow Dash’s request. They were enjoying some fancy snacks and apple cider while lounging when Rarity asked, “So Rainbow Dash, what was this big news you wanted to share with me, hmm? Do tell.”
Rainbow Dash noticeably turned a shade of red, but the fire in her heart was not quelled and she struck a heroic pose. “Nothing much. You know just same old same ol-I got myself a bucking marefriend! And she’s hot too!”
Rarity threw her hooves in the air, flinging mud all over the room and squeeled. “Ohmygoodnessgetout! Who is it Rainbow Dash, who?! Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!”
The rainbow-maned pony tried to look nonchalant by leaning back into the mud bath and examining her hoof. “Oh, I think you know her. In fact, I’d say the two of you are really good pals.” She was enjoying the look of anticipation Rarity wore while waiting for the answer. Then it seemed to hit her.
“Oh. My. Celestia. Rainbow Dash you sly mare you.” Rarity said through squinting eyes. “I always knew you and Berry Punch had a thing going ever since our little soiree at Sugar Cube Corner a few months ago. I am so happy for you two! You have my approval.”
The pegasus shot up at the comment, splattering more mud around the room. “What?! It’s not Berry Punch, Rarity. And we didn’t even do anything that night, it just looked wrong since I was on her when you guys found us and- you know what? I’ll just give a hint. She has wings.”
The fashionista pondered for a moment before lightly bopping herself on the forehead, leaving a spot of mud on her face. “Of course! How silly of me to think your significant other to be Berry Punch. An attractive pegasus mare who is a good friend of mine. It is none other than Derpy Hooves! How could I not have seen the signs!” Rainbow Dash face-palmed. “The two of you both worked for the weather team!”
“Rarity, it’s not-” Rainbow Dash tried to deny it but was cut off by her friend who was in the midst of one of her romantic rants.
“You look past her differences and only see her for who she truly is! Through thick and thin you fight for her honor! Oh, I can see it now. Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves working side by side in the weather team. Besting storms together. Licking each other’s wounds…”
The multicolored Pegasus was beginning to feel uncomfortable after seeing the look on her ivory friend’s face, her squinting eyes looking off into nothing and a slight hint of drool seeping down her thin smile. She was thinking naughty things again…
“Oh, how romantic! I wonder what the name of your pairing would be. Perhaps Rainbow Derp. Or Derpy Dash?”
“RARITY!” cried Rainbow Dash in a desperate attempt to knock her friend out of her reverie.
“Huh, wha-?”
“It’s not Derpy.” Said Rainbow Dash bluntly.
“Ah. Ahem. Well, then how about another clue? I am having so much fun with this little game we’re playing, though I am anxious to know who your significant other is.”
With a sigh, Rainbow Dash said, “It’s really not that hard Rarity. She’s in our circle of friends. It might even be obvious now that I think about it. She’s good looking, has wings, is close to us, and hay, I’ll give you another clue. She’s SHY.”
Rarity felt a fool for her previous guesses. “Silly Rarity!” She scolded herself. “How could you not have seen it before! It is obviously Princess Luna!”
Rainbow Dash was about to throw a hoofful of mud at her idiot friend when Rarity stopped her.
“Wait Rainbow dear, I am only toying with you! It’s Fluttershy isn’t it?”
Rarity was covered in mud as soon as she was done speaking. She looked to her friend whose expression told the alabaster unicorn that she was not amused.
“You can’t be serious! If not Fluttershy, then who?”
“No, it’s Fluttershy. That was just payback for messing with me.” Said Rainbow Dash with a devious smirk.
There was a short moment of silence before the two broke into laughter. While they were catching their breaths, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but notice how much fun they had, although she was hesitant at first. Her life was just getting better and better. She was the leader of the tornado project that would break a new record, she had a new marefriend, and today she learned to appreciate not only the soothing nature of Ponyville’s Day Spa, but also her friend Rarity who she once thought to be too haughty for her taste.
Chillin’ in a mud bath with her homefilly Rarity, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but sigh. “This is the life. Just chilling at the spa with my good pal, getting ready for my date with my marefriend.”
Rarity herself gave a pleased sigh, showing her agreement, but then asked, “Wait, you have a date with Fluttershy?”
“Yeah later today, which is why I’m trying to look good.”
“Oh, good for you Rainbow Dash! We should tell the others! They would be so pleased! By the way, Rainbow Dash how experienced in dating are you?”
“Uhh, well you know how mares are always flocking towards me, hoping to get a piece of the Dash! You could say I’m experienced all right!”
Rarity gave her a dead pan look and said, “Darling, never have I seen mares flock towards you. I’ve never even seen you dating!”
Rainbow Dash was on the defensive. “I’ve never seen you date anypony either! And fine, I don’t have much experience. The last time I was with anyone was when I was dating Gilda, and you know how that ended.” She said, slumping down a little lower than before.
“Oh, don’t fret dear, how about me and the girls give you advice while you’re on your date with Fluttershy? We could go in disguises and send you signals, or something of the sort!” suggested Rarity who was no longer lounging but standing and ready to move.
“That’s a great idea!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “This date is going to be so awesome!”
“Indeed! Now, as lovely as this was, we should finish getting you glammed up and go tell the girls. Oh, this is going to be fun!”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, but before she could reply, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach and clutched it until the pain subsided. "Aww, my tummy."
"Is everything alright, Rainbow Dash?" asked a concerned Rarity.
"My stomach hurts." Thinking back to what could have caused this, Rainbow Dash thought of only one thing that could have given her the runs this bad. "Rarity, what was in those fancy snacks we ate earlier?"
"Just some sliced fruits and cheese on top of brea-". At that moment, Rarity realized why her friend was in so much pain. She was lactose intolerant!
*End of Chapter 2*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, this chapter was less creepy than the last. I was trying to put the foundation down for the funny parts later. Or at least I hope you'll find them funny... I don't give Snowflake much commentary because I want him to be that one clueless guy who has a bunch of crazy stuff revolving around him that he doesn't even realize. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was longer and totes worth the effort I think. Anyways, good luck on your midterms and finals everypony, and stay tuned! There is going to be some dramaaaa~.
Chapter 3: What's going down
Rarity walked closely beside Rainbow Dash, supporting her as they slowly made their way towards the Library. She had gone around corralling the rest of the Mane 6, excluding Fluttershy, to discuss her friends’ date later that day. During that time, Rainbow Dash relieved herself in an attempt to quell the pain in her stomach. The sensation was mostly gone, but it was still enough to cause Rainbow Dash great discomfort.
As the duo came in front of the library, they could already hear their friends chatting noisily, no doubt about the newest couple among their ranks. Rarity knocked on the door thrice and was soon greeted by a cheerful Twilight Sparkle.
“Hello girls. Oh wow Rainbow Dash, you look great!” She complimented as she led the two inside.
As soon as they entered, the library went quiet as the Mane 6 just stared in awe at Rainbow Dash. She looked stunning with her hair slightly permed and with a tad bit of makeup done by Rarity. She looked great but felt quite the opposite. It felt as if someone had bucked her stomach and the pain never went away. But she had to hold it in! She didn’t want to disappoint Fluttershy and miss their first date. That would be lame. So lame.
Pinkie Pie broke the silence. “Wow Rainbow Dash, you’re so pretty! Not that you weren’t pretty before.”
“Isn’t she? We spent all day getting her pampered at the spa and ready for her date. I added the makeup back at the Boutique as a finishing touch. Doesn’t she look marvelous?” Rarity said as she marveled at her work. The cost of the spa and the time it took to apply the makeup were worth it, she thought.
“She sure does Rarity. Getting a makeover and a date, I never knew you were so passionate when it came to romance Rainbow Dash!”, the studious unicorn commented.
Applejack was surprised and proud of her normally narrow-minded and tomboyish friend as well. “Well, ah’ll be! Look at you, prettyin’ yourself up for your date. Who would’ve thought that our Rainbow- um…you alright there sugarcube?”
The colorful Pegasus was doubled over and looked very uncomfortable. At first it seemed as if she were just embarrassed from the praise her friends had given her, but Applejack could tell something was wrong.
Rarity noticed soon after. “Oh dear, is it the stomach pain again?” The rest of the party looked confused and so Rarity explained. “You see girls, Rainbow Dash and I were at the spa earlier and we were eating a few of those delectable snacks they serve now. Poor Rainbow Dash didn’t realize they had cheese in them and ate a hoofful, and you know how bad she is with dairy.”
The girls looked uncomfortable being reminded of Rainbow Dash’s lactose problem, however the awkward feeling was overcome by their worry. Applejack spoke up. “Maybe this ain’t such a good idea sugarcube. Ah think you should call the date off if you ain’t feelin’ up to it.”
“Tsk tsk tsk. Oh Applejack. Good ole naïve Applejack.” Replied Rainbow Dash in a smug tone. Applejack raised an eyebrow at this but let her continue. “I can’t just disappoint Fluttershy like that! Don’t you see? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a date with the Dash! It would be selfish for me to call it off and leave her hanging. Just think of how it would hurt the poor girl.”
“Do you even know what naïve means?” Asked the farm mare before conceding. “Ah guess you’re right. Ah reckon she would be mighty disappointed at that.”
Pinkie Pie, who was unusually quiet from worrying about her friend, bounced over and went right in Rainbow Dash’s face. “So Rainbow Dash~ ” She said with a smirk that indicated she knew a dirty secret. “You and Fluttershy are like a thingy now. What’s going on? Give us the deets! C’mon spit it out! Tell us tell us tell us!” She blurted out each word in rapid succession, only taking a breath after she was done speaking.
Twilight teleported Pinkie to her side and gave Rainbow Dash some space. “Slow down Pinkie. She’s still in pain from those deadly snacks at the spa.”
“It’s cool Twilight. I was going to tell you girls soon anyways and I’m feeling a lot better now. So, it all happened yesterday early in the morning.” The friends leaned in closer as Rainbow Dash began regaling her captive audience with how she and Fluttershy became a couple.
“I was sleeping in after the night I announced the tornado business when I hear a knock on the door. I open it up and there was Fluttershy, standing there looking all nervous and avoiding eye contact with me. I knew something was up so I let her in my house to chat since I knew she would be uncomfortable outside where anyone could hear us. I asked her why she came to me so early in the morning, and that’s when she asked me.”
“Wait, wait, hold on.” Interrupted Twilight. “So Fluttershy, the scared of her own shadow Fluttershy, asked you to be her marefriend?”
Rainbow Dash looked annoyed that her story had been interrupted and rolled her eyes. “Well, okay fine. She was GOING to ask me but she kept mumbling and wouldn’t come out with it. I got impatient so I just agreed and set up this date today. Happy?”
“So you didn’t even hear her out?” asked the skeptical, purple unicorn.
“I didn’t need to! You should’ve seen the look on her face. She was all blushing and trying not to check me out and stuff! She so wanted me but was too shy to ask, and so I threw her a bone and took initiative. I was all, ‘Hush now, quiet now baby. Don’t be shy. I know what you want and the answer is yes.’ Then she was all, ‘Oh, Rainbow Dash!’ And then she gave me this huge hug, and when I hugged her back she melted in my arms and it was so awesome! No kiss though.”
“Wow Rainbow Dash, that’s sooo romantic!” Said Pinkie Pie as she swooned in a dramatic fashion with an arm over her eyes.
Even Applejack was blushing a little. “Wow, now ain’t that somethin’.”
Twilight was now convinced. After hearing the story, she was giddy at the thought of such romance. She was happy for her friend and would give her full support.
Rarity blew her nose after tearing up a bit from Rainbow Dash’s beautiful tale. After settling down, she spoke up.
“Alright girls, it’s time to get down to business. Rainbow Dash doesn’t have very much experience, so it’s up to us, her closest friends, to show her the way! Before I came by your houses and while Rainbow Dash was err… relieving herself, I set up reservations for her and Fluttershy as well as our party at the Pompous Equine. That is where the date shall take place!”
“That fancy place where it’s impossible to get reservations?! How the hay?” The cyan Pegasus and her friends were dumbfounded.
“I have connections and I will only accept the best for your date!” exclaimed Rarity. Everyone in the room was taken aback from such benevolence, but they could expect no less from the Element of Generosity herself.
Rarity continued, “As I was saying, while on her date, I was hoping we could find a way to accompany her and give her advice. I would also like to have front row seats to their first date together.”
“But wait. Do any of us even have experience ourselves?” Asked Twilight. “We can’t really give her advice if we’ve never done any of that stuff.”
The whole room fell silent, the only noises coming from the awkward shuffling of hooves kicking the floor. It seemed that nopony wanted to speak up. Even Rarity was looking a little nervous.
“So none of you have ever been on a date?” asked a bewildered Rainbow Dash.
“Ummmmm… Nope!” chirped Pinkie Pie.
“Me neither.” replied Applejack whose hat was now covering her eyes.
“No, but I have read about dating and I-”
“Not even you Rarity?! I thought you were like super popular with the stallions! With a lot of mares too! What the hay? I even see you flirting all the time!” asked a confused Rainbow Dash.
“Well I do flirt on occasion and I am flattered by all of the proposals and gifts I receive from my admirers, but I have never had a relationship before. I haven’t really given it much thought after the whole Prince Blueblood disappointment.” She replied in a hushed tone.
Rainbow Dash was stumped. She knew her friends were innocent and naïve when it came to romance, but she never thought it was this bad. “Aw jeez guys! Now what? I don’t know what to do alone with Fluttershy! I can’t treat her the same way I treated Gilda! They’re completely different. What if she tries to kiss me and I mess it up? What if I- argh!… Hooo boy, here comes the pain.” The stinging in her stomach had come back and she had to sit down to ease the pain.
Twilight went to the kitchen to get some water for her friend who gulped it down gratefully. She decided to take the reins of the situation and steer it towards Rainbow Dash’s favor.
“Okay girls. I know that we individually don’t have the knowledge to help Rainbow Dash with her date, but together we can make it a success! Applejack, you were taught a lot about table manners and respect from your family right?”
“Yeah, I can help you with that Rainbow. No offence, but you’re kind of a slob when you eat and you ain’t got no manners.”
Before Rainbow Dash could refute Applejack’s statement, Twilight spoke again.
“According to several dating guides I’ve read, nopony wants their date to be boring or awkward. Pinkie Pie, you can help Rainbow Dash let loose and just have fun on her date. Maybe teach her a few good jokes too.”
“Okey dokey lokey! Don’t you worry Dashie, I’ll make sure that you and Fluttershy have a blast!” At first Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure about Pinkie teaching her how to act on a date, but she did always know how to lighten up the mood. She decided that knowing the party pony’s secret would be advantageous on her date and gladly accepted the help.
“Great. Rarity, since you already put makeup on Rainbow Dash, you can teach her about the several utensils she’ll be using, assuming that they have more than one kind of spoon and fork. It would be good to let her know what to order too and maybe even some fancy ciders to impress Fluttershy. We’re also going to need some disguises for when we’re at the dinner with them. As for me, I’ll see if I can find a way for us to communicate with Rainbow during her date.” At first Rarity was startled by the amount of tasks she’d been assigned but agreed after seeing that the tasks weren’t too difficult and that she was the only one who could do them on such short notice.
“Alright girls, let’s do this!”
“Yeah!” They all shouted as they high-hoofed. Rainbow Dash was already feeling better despite the twinge in her abdominals.
“You girls are awesome! This is going to be the best date ever!” she exclaimed as her friends began sculpting her to become the perfect marefriend.
~An hour before the date~
Snowflake was about to head out to town square for a meal when a messenger pony arrived by his home and gave him a message from his manager. The message read that they were to meet at some fancy restaurant whose name he didn’t recognize. He didn’t really like that idea. Snowflake had never gone to any fancy restaurant before. Seeing as how the portions they gave were not nearly worth the price, he had deemed fancy eateries as unworthy of his bits. They were going to discuss his photo shoot along with some of the photographers and his meal would be paid for. “Free food at a fancy restaurant? Not bad”, he thought as he left for town square after thanking the messenger. He had a feeling that this night was going to be eventful, and so our hero flew off to see what the evening had in store for him.
*End of Chapter 3*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cuss a bit here because it's too hard for me to talk civilized. Don't read if you're weird about that kinda stuff.
Okay, this chapter was not as fun as I wanted it to be because I'm saving the good stuff for the next chapter, which is going to be the tits. So let me give you a reaaaly shitty preview of the next chapter.
They are going to have fun. It's going to be rad. Shit storm. The end. Read it and shower me with praise.
Fluttershy trotted into town square, eager for her get together with Rainbow Dash. She could hardly contain herself all day, her mind wandering to that handsome stallion every time she tried to concentrate on chores. The shy pony wandered around the streets for a bit, waiting for her friend while thinking up questions to ask when she heard someone call her name.
“Hey Fluttershy, over here!” Called the light blue Pegasus as she cantered towards the object of her affection. She couldn’t help but notice that Fluttershy hadn’t prettied herself up at all for their date. Rainbow Dash preferred the shy mare just the way she had always been and was relieved upon seeing her.
“Oh, hello Rainbow Da-”. Fluttershy could not finish her greeting as she was speechless after catching a glimpse of the pony coming her way. Before her was a completely different pony than the one she had been expecting. The voice was the same but the mare from whence it came was a completely different pony. Rainbow Dash was pretty, but her spunkiness and tomboy attitude limited her beauty. Before Fluttershy was a breathtakingly beautiful mare. Her colors were the same as Rainbow Dash’s but her hair was done up in a way that caused the hues to mesh together in perfect harmony. The mare’s posture was straight and her head held up slightly, giving her a sophisticated look. The graceful manner in which she cantered gave off the air of nobility and several ponies moved aside, never taking their eyes off of the goddess that had just graced their presence. This mystery mare was the epitome of artistry and she was making her way towards Fluttershy. And the magic seemed to fade as soon as she opened her mouth.
“Heya Shy! Sorry I’m a bit late. I hope you’re hungry ‘cause you are in for a treat! I got us booked at the Pompous Equine. That’s right, that one snooty restaurant. I got us both covered so you better stuff your face and get your money’s worth.” Rainbow Dash said as she came into contact with her date.
Fluttershy shook her head to clear her mind of all the whats. “Wha-huh? Rainbow Dash, is that you?”
The sky blue Pegasus held her head even higher, satisfied with the reaction she was getting. “Oh yeah, it’s me alright. What do you think? Am I hot or what?”
“You look beautiful! I mean, you always looked beautiful but right now, you’re really something else Rainbow Dash.” The pink maned pony gushed, excited that her friend was finally making an attempt to look attractive.
Rainbow Dash blushed at the compliment but took it in stride. “Thanks babe. Now like I was saying, we’re gonna be eating at that one fancy place up that street. The reservation’s for 10 minutes from now so we better make our way over.”
“Wait, you said you were treating me to dinner at the Pompous Equine?! I, um. You don’t have to do that just for me. And it seems a bit much for just this occasion, don’t you think?” Fluttershy was flabbergasted when she realized where they were eating. She had never been able to afford such an extravagant meal since most of her work was volunteer and what veterinary work she did, she charged little for.
“Hey don’t say that. This day means a lot to both of us and I want to make it special, a day to remember. It would be my pleasure to take you out Fluttershy. Just let me do this for you and enjoy okay?” Said the gallant and terribly misunderstanding pegasus.
Fluttershy was awed by her friend’s words. She never knew how much Rainbow Dash cared about her happiness. She didn’t know that her relationship with Snowflake meant so much to her and the thought of such benevolence brought a tear to Fluttershy’s eyes.
“Oh, *sniff* thanks so much Rainbow Dash. I didn’t know you cared so much. I’ll definitely enjoy our time together. Thank you so much”, said the yellow pegasus who was now struggling not to break down from pure joy. She felt a hoof brush the tears from her eyes and opened them to see the gentle smile of her friend. She was given a warm hug that she leaned into. Rainbow Dash usually did not engage hugs and this show of affection let Fluttershy know that she had her friend’s full support. After a few moments, she stopped her quiet sobbing and broke the hug. Rainbow Dash was still smiling sweetly. Upon seeing that her friend had settled down, she began leading them towards their destination.
“Alright Fluttershy, let’s go get some food. We could talk more once were sitting down in a cozy restaurant. It’s getting a bit chilly here.” Said Rainbow Dash as she leaned into her marefriend for warmth.
“Oh, you’re right. When did it get so cold out? I guess I didn’t notice since you’re so warm, hehe.” Fluttershy giggled as she leaned into her bestest friend. Rainbow Dash was just about to explode from how well the date was already going. At that moment with Fluttershy leaning against her, she thought she could die happily and fulfilled then and there.
~Around the same time. In some bushes around Ponyville square.~
Four ponies were hiding behind some flora. They were overcome by the spectacle they had just bared witness to.
“Oh. My. Celestia. That was ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL!” Squealed Rarity as she hugged her three friends with all her might.
“I can’t believe that just happened and we got to see that and Fluttershy started to cry and Rainbow Dash hugged her like some kind of gentlemare and ohmygosh it was so super splendirific I’m going to explode someone help me!” Shrieked Pinkie Pie at the top of her lungs as she overdosed on the insane amounts of ‘daww’ they had just witnessed.
“Alright there sugarcubes, just take a deep breath and-hurgh! Ah think ah got the same problem ya’ll got! Mah chest, it hurts! Twilight, it hurts so doggone good! Help us! He-… ugh.” Cried Applejack as she clutched her chest and feigned unconsciousness in Rarity’s embrace.
Twilight was trying vehemently to suppress her laughter in order to keep their hiding spot concealed. That is, until she slipped out of her friends’ cluster of limbs and popped her head out of the brush. She saw several ponies staring in their direction, no doubt alerted by the strange noises coming from the entanglement of plant and pony. Twilight blushed hard and slowly sunk back into the protective camouflage of thicket. After realizing that the targets had probably arrived at their objective by now, she decided it was time for the next step of their clandestine operations.
“Alright girls, time for the next step. This is where we come in! Everypony get ready. Our next target, the Pompous Equine!”
“Oooh, girls this is so much fun! I feel as though I may faint from the excitement. Much like dear Applejack over here. It seems the poor girl couldn’t handle it.” Rarity tried to nudge her friend awake. Applejack had actually fainted from how adorable the event had been. It was just too much for the low tolerance cowmare to handle.
Pinkie Pie was already hard at work drawing on the orange earth pony’s face with a marker she got out of nowhere. She was concentrating so hard on her task that she almost didn’t hear Twilight ask her, “Pinkie, what are you doing to Applejack’s face? We don’t have time for this, get into your disguises. We gotta go!”
Pinkie Pie finished up just as her friend ended her sentence and said, “Voila! Check out the upgrade I made to AJ’s disguise. Pretty neat huh?”
Rarity and Twilight burst out laughing. Applejack’s face was now adorned with a markered on mustache and goatee combo. The facial ink was complemented with a huge black mole right below her left eye that just cried, “Look at me world. Here I am!” The marks on her face went perfectly with the disguise Rarity prepared for her: a corny looking tan business suit that oddly complimented her Stetson. Applejack now gave off the aura of a middle-aged business stallion from the countryside with a poor sense of fashion. The costume was finished as Pinkie Pie added a pair of groucho glasses on her still unconscious friend. It was flawless.
After a few more minutes of laughter and compliments towards Rarity for their full-proof disguises and Pinkie Pie for Applejack’s add on, they got into gear for their mission and sprung out of the foliage. Several ponies around scattered after four suspicious beings emerged from the depths of the vegetation, one being carried by the other three. It was dark and the quintet looked ominous as they were bathed in the eerie light of the moon. As they made their way towards the restaurant, everypony moved out of their way as they scrutinized their every move. Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie were too excited about their hijinks to even notice.
~In the Pompous Equine~
The restaurant was the grandest eatery Ponyville had to offer. The walls were burgundy and the pillars that supported the ceiling were made of a dark marble, giving the whole dining area a risqué yet sophisticated atmosphere. The décor consisted of red candles, very few flowers and chandeliers that gave off dim lighting. It was packed with couples and families enjoying the most lavish of meals in a most cultivated establishment.
In the Pompous Equine, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were hitting it off before they had even begun to order. They were chatting away about what they had been up to the whole week and what their predictions would be for the tornado. Soon they had talked about everything of interest and were bathed in a pleasant silence as they enjoyed each other’s company. Well, it was pleasant for Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash seemed calm and collected but her mind was going haywire thinking of the mare across from her. She always thought Fluttershy was attractive and now felt that way more than ever. The shy mare’s caring nature always made her feel warm inside. The way she treated her wounds after a bad stunt and her infinite patience as she listened to others poor their hearts out were only a few of the traits Rainbow Dash admired about the yellow pegasus. She was also physically beautiful. The way her silky pink mane gently flowed down that delicate face of hers. The smell of flowers emanating from her flawless fur. Her perfectly demure posture, showing off her curves as well as her fragile frame. Those big aqua eyes, always relaxed and halfway closed, indicating she was content with her life. Those same orbs that were now staring straight at her.
“Rainbow Dash, are you okay? You have drool running down your mouth and you’ve been staring off into space for a while now.” The colorful pegasus snapped out of her trance. ‘I was staring at you. You look stunning’, she wanted to say but couldn’t find the courage to come out with it. Instead she settled for a lie.
“Yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking about the tornado business again and how we’re going to break the old record. Should be easy.”
“Oh, well I agree. With you as the organizer, there’s no way we’re going to fail”, said Fluttershy, causing Rainbow Dash to drivel.
“Ohh, you- I, gah. You know- duhuhuh.” Rainbow Dash mentally slapped herself. ‘What the hay did I just say? Oh gosh, I must’ve sounded like an idiot.’ Fluttershy just smiled and returned to waiting patiently for the waitress.
There was silence again. Rainbow Dash started to get nervous. She had run out of material to talk about and she didn’t want to use any of Pinkie Pie’s jokes unless she was desperate. ‘Where are they?’ She wondered as she looked around the restaurant for her friends who were supposed to help her out on the date. Just as she finished her thought, the waitress came by with some water on a tray that was being carried by magic.
“Good evening. My name is Scarcity and I will be your waitress tonight.”
Rainbow Dash almost face-hooved when she saw the waitress. It was Rarity. She had her hair tied back and in bangs, kind of like the time she went to the Canterlot art show. She was wearing glasses along with the standard uniform the other waitresses wore. Rarity was easily identifiable and she hardly changed her voice, let alone her name, but Fluttershy didn’t seem to notice.
Scarcity looked victorious that Fluttershy didn’t notice the get up, not that there was any doubt. “Would you like to start off with an appetizer? Perhaps a bottle of our finest cider?”
Rainbow Dash looked to Rarity’s notepad that was conveniently turned her way. She read out loud in a robotic fashion, “I would like to skip the appetizers and order our meals. A mushroom steak well done and slightly charred for me and a daisy salad for my companion. As for our refreshments, I would like the finest bottle of your… your…”
Rainbow Dash pulled Rarity towards her and asked in a hushed tone behind the covers of the notepad, “How the hay do you pronounce that?”
“Ropony-Conti” Scarcity whispered back.
“Your finest bottle of Ropony-Conti please.”
“My my, a big spender are we?” Rarity’s persona winked at Rainbow Dash who winked back. “You are a very lucky mare madam.” She said to Fluttershy who smiled and agreed.
“I sure am. Rainbow Dash here is the kindest most generous pegasus I know!”
“And quite the looker too!” She said with another wink at the now blushing pegasus. “Now if you two will excuse me.” And with that, Scarcity left after inconspicuously slipping a note onto Rainbow Dash's waiting hoof.
The chromatic mare took a glance at the note and read its contents.
“I hope your date goes well darling! The girls and I have positioned ourselves so that you can look to any of us if you ever need advice. The others are seated at the table far behind Fluttershy. You can’t miss them. Have fun!
-Scarcity
P.S. If you haven’t noticed yet due to my brilliant disguise, tis I, Rarity! XOXO”
Rainbow Dash smiled at her friend’s silliness and looked up to see Fluttershy caught in her thoughts. This was the perfect opportunity to scout out her missing friends. She began taking sips from her glass of water to look unsuspicious as she kept a lookout for her accomplices. ‘Now where could they be.’ She thought as she squinted her eyes to see past her date. ‘They should be around-!!‘
The sky blue pegasus almost spewed water from her nostrils as she caught a glimpse of her other friends. There they were, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Pinkie Pie all dressed up and causing a ruckus in the other side of the restaurant. There was Pinkie Pie in her top hat tuxedo combo, her pink mane straightened and slicked back. She was wearing a comically stoic expression as Twilight seemed to be struggling with some weird stallion. The purple unicorn had her hair in a bun which hid her highlights and showed her forehead and she was wearing a dark dress to conceal her cutie mark. She seemed to be trying her best to fight off some creepy pony that kept attempting to cling to her. Then it hit Rainbow Dash and concern turned into laughter. The freak who was babbling nonsense and hugging Twilight was Applejack. Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but wonder what the hay they were doing and almost laughed out loud at her friend’s shenanigans.
“What’s so funny Rainbow Dash? Is there something going on behind me?” Asked Fluttershy as she began turning around slowly.
“No wait! Haha, err- I mean no. There’s nothing going on back there. I was just laughing because I remembered a joke Pinkie Pie told me the other day.” It was time. The time to drop the laughter bomb. The bomb that, once detonated, would spew gases that would cause Fluttershy to cackle like a rabid hyena until she dropped. Or at least that’s how Pinkie Pie described the joke. Rainbow Dash cringed at the description and hoped to Celestia that she didn’t have to see Fluttershy like that. Then she recited.
~At the other side of the restaurant~
“Applejack wake up! Get off of me! Pinkie Pie, DO something!” Pleaded the lavender unicorn as she struggled to pry herself from Applejack’s embrace.
Pinkie Pie snapped out of her silent demeanor and glared furiously at her two friends. “Would you two quit horsin’ around?! Sir Trotsalot, unhand Duchess Quietbottom this instant!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she splashed some water at Applejack, causing her to stir awake as well as the ink on her face to spread messily around her mouth.
“Wha- huh? Where am ah?” She spluttered.
Twilight was finally relieved from the powerful clutches of her now conscious friend. “Ugh, thank goodness. I mean, thanks Pinkie. And Duchess Quietbottom? Really?”
“Well, we need codenames silly! And get back into character you two. We can’t risk Fluttershy finding out we’re here or we could embarrass Dashie! By the way, call me Missus Hotbod. That’s my codename.”
“Ahem.” A waitress was standing in front of their table with a notepad levitating in front of her and a tray of beverages balanced on her head. As she set the tray down and began dispersing the drinks, she asked, “Good evening madams. How can I serve you?”
“Ah would like to order now miss.” The waitress shifted her attention to the cowpony… and frowned. Applejack was still wearing the dorky getup with the groucho glasses. The ink from earlier was now splattered all over the lower half of her face and was dripping onto her suit, making her look a mess. The waitress gave her a deadpan look that asked, ‘You serious?’
“What’s a matter? Somethin’ on mah face?” The other two mares began snickering at Applejack’s cluelessness. The waitress who was now feeling very silly opened her mouth, but before she could say a word, Rarity saved her from impending headache.
“Don’t worry dear, I’ll take it from here. Run along now.” The waitress shot Rarity a thankful nod and trotted away.
Rarity took a glance at Applejack. And then turned around. “PPFffft kr-heh…”, was all they could hear from the quivering form of their friend. After a while of composing herself, Rarity turned back around to face her friends.
“Ahh Applejack. You are such a silly pony.” Sighed the ivory unicorn.
“Eh? Beg yer pardon? You gonna take mah order or what? And why the hay does everything cost so dang much here? Soup here is thirty bits!”
“Oh, you girls don’t have to worry about your meals. I’ve already taken the liberty of ordering for you. I get free meals here after I made a wedding dress for the owner’s daughter on short notice. The dress turned out so well that they insisted in paying me back several fold. So with the expenses out of the way, let’s enjoy this night shall we? I’ll be staying here with you girls now that I did my part.”
Pinkie, AJ, and Twilight were relieved that they didn’t have to pay a bit for the over-priced meals. Their jobs didn’t give them much spare bits to spend on such luxuries.
Pinkie Pie spoke up before any of the others could say their thanks. “Wow, thanks Rarity! That’s sooo nice of you. But now that the snooty waitress is gone, I want to know, how’d it go with Rainbow Dash?”
“Ah, well I think our little lovebird will do just fine. She was just about to tell Fluttershy that hilarious joke you taught her back at the library. She’s looking this way now! Yoohoo~” Said Rarity as she waved towards a nervous looking Rainbow Dash who was twitching her face in an odd fashion, no doubt trying to signal something. “So Pinkie Pie, how did that joke go again? I think we could use a good laugh before the food gets here. We’ll be quite busy feasting on the delectable food here, so we might as well get some talking done now.”
“Okay okay. So a donkey and a unicorn walk into a bar…”
~Back to the date~
“Wait, so the donkey was the one with the rocket launcher and the unicorn was the one tooting the flute?” asked a very confused Fluttershy.
“Uhh, yeah! Get it?! ‘Cause the robot ain’t got no legs, see? He…hehe.” Rainbow Dash swallowed the lump in her throat as her date was trying her best to comprehend the elaborate story she had just been told. As adorable as it was seeing Fluttershy try to wrap her mind around the ‘funny part’, the cyan pegasus was beginning to panic.
Rainbow Dash didn’t remember the joke. She was spouting nonsense and it was not going well. She was saved when a waiter came back with a tray carrying two dishes that smelled like heaven and the tallest and most elegant bottle anypony in the room had ever seen. The waiter was just about to set the tray down but almost dropped it when there was a loud uproar a few feet behind Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash looked at her friends’ table and saw that they were the cause of the ruckus. They were laughing at something Pinkie Pie said and were now giving her playful jabs as she soaked in their praise. Twilight seemed to be letting loose and was laughing just as hard, if not harder than the rest, causing her neat bun to undo itself a bit. Rarity was recovering from her bout of laughter and took off her glasses to wipe her eyes. Applejack was also laughing hard in her goofy outfit which had changed a bit since the last time Rainbow Dash saw her; now it seemed as if her drawn on facial ink had expanded further down her face and onto her blazer. Rainbow Dash smiled at the sight of her friends having fun. She no longer had anypony to help her on her date, but she preferred it this way. Just relying on herself and enjoying this moment with Fluttershy was how it should be. Minus the stomach pain that had crept back while she was watching her friends.
“You’re meals have arrived along with your Ropony Conti.” After setting down the dishes and pouring the two mares a glass of the cider, the waiter left them. “Enjoy.”
“Thank you. Mmm, this smells amazing! *sip* And this cider is delicious! You have excellent taste Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy began eating her salad, daintily chewing each leaf and pettle carefully and nibbling on the larger pieces.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t touching her food. She feared that eating more would make her stomach turn from upset to downright pissed. She sat still in her seat, clutching her stomach for dear sanity as her eyes became unfocused.
“Rainbow Dash? Are you feeling alright? Hello?” asked her worried company.
“Uhuh. Yeah sure, I’m fine.” Rainbow Dash responded halfheartedly.
“Oh, okay then… Wait no, not okay. Rainbow Dash you don’t look like you’re okay at all! You’ve been acting strangely this whole night. What’s gotten into you? Are you sick, or perhaps you aren’t having fun?” Upon seeing Rainbow Dash in a fix and hearing Fluttershy’s concerns for her ‘date’, Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity turned their attention to the table.
Rainbow Dash was definitely not feeling okay. At that moment, it felt like her stomach was about to explode. She held onto it as if letting go would cause the destruction of her friends and marefriend in a catastrophic volley of waste. She barely managed to talk in a shaky voice. “I’m fine Shy, really. I just got a lot on my mind, like trying to figure out why a mare like you would want to ask somepony like me out.” Rainbow Dash attempted to turn the conversation back to Fluttershy and get the atmosphere back to normal.
“Huh? Oh yes, I completely forgot about the reason why we were having this get together in the first place! So, tell me all about him. Tell me everything you know”, said Fluttershy, whose eyes were now shining bright and were locked onto Rainbow Dash’s confused face.
“Wait… What? Who are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash was lost as soon as she heard ‘him’. The pressure in her stomach was increasing and it was getting impossible to concentrate. She thought she misheard what her ‘marefriend’ said.
“You know, Snowflake? When I went over to your house, you said you knew what I wanted to ask you. What I wanted to ask you about was Snowflake. Remember?” Fluttershy was beginning to feel nervous under the hopeless stare her friend was giving her. It was a while before she got a response.
“But…But I thought-”At that moment, Rainbow Dash’s heart dropped as well as her stomach. She had to get out of there, not only because she needed a bathroom ASAP but also to escape the pain and embarrassment she felt. “I- URGH! I GOTTA GO!” And in a blur she was gone, leaving a worried Fluttershy alone with her meal.
~At a different table~
Snowflake couldn’t help but feel uneasy. He didn’t know what was going on in the restaurant but there was a very bad air about the whole place. He had just witnessed Rainbow Dash, the organizer of the anticipated tornado, run to the potty, leaving a lone and confused mare eating in silence. The mare looked familiar but he couldn’t put a hoof as to where he’d seen her. He refocused on the happenings of the restaurant and noticed a group of oddly dressed ponies along with a waitress, all wearing the same look of horror. Their mouths were agape, their eyes were twitching, and the pink one was even crying a little.
The colossal stallion began pondering about what could have caused such a scene. Maybe it was something in the food? He looked at his mushroom steak and poked it a few times with his hoof. Something was wrong with the food at this restaurant and he wasn’t going to find out what. Snowflake decided he would be going home hungry. The mood at the eatery was most foul and he wanted to just get the hay out, but he minded his company.
“Excuse me Mister Filthy Rich. I don’t have much of an appetite so I think I’ll meet you guys over at the photo shoot.”
“Why, you haven’t even touched your steak! Ah, suit yourself then. I’ll just take it to go. We’ll see you in a bit I suppose.”
After bidding farewell to his manager and the camera ponies, he made his way out of the evil place and flew over to some random diner and got a hayburger.
~Back to the girls~
The four friends sat in silence after witnessing the terrible misunderstanding. Applejack was the first to come out of her stupor.
“Ah… Ah’m gonna go see how Rainbow Dash is doin’. Ah think it would be best if I went alone. Better not to overwhelm her.” The others nodded in approval and off she went.
The rest of the girls stayed behind. They huddled close together in a vain attempt at easing the pain they felt for their friend. Then the unexpected happened. Fluttershy got up from her table and trotted over to them with a sad look on her face.
“Oh manure”, whispered Twilight as she looked away and tried not to show her face. The girls shifted in their seats and tried to avoid eye contact, but Fluttershy was advancing on their position and she soon came to a halt right in front of their table.
“Girls, I noticed you here ever since you walked in. Why are you all here? What’s going on?”
Fluttershy’s friends all looked up with hurt and fear in their eyes. At first they were afraid she would use ‘the Stare’ to get them to talk, but instead she pried it out of them in a gentler manner.
“I saw the pain in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. I said something to make her upset. I want to make this right, so please tell me.”
Upon seeing the sincere worry in her friend’s eyes, Twilight finally conceded. “Sigh. Okay.”
~In the bathroom~
Applejack was standing outside the only occupied stall. She heard sobbing and knew right away that Rainbow Dash was the occupant. “You alright in there RD?”
“Yeah, *sniff*, I’m fine. I just had to use the bathroom real bad. You know, stomach pains? I’ll be out in a sec.”
“Rainbow Dash, ah can hear you crying and ah also heard what Fluttershy said back there. Open this door so we can chat. Ya might feel better talking about it.”
“So you heard what Fluttershy said huh? Well, I’m not even crying about that. I’m just in a lot of pain right now, from using the bathroom and junk.”
“You’re in a lot of pain alright. But not from using the potty. Open the stall RD.”
Applejack heard the toilet flush and after a few moments the door to the stall unlocked. It slowly swung open and Applejack’s eyes moistened upon seeing her friend on the other side. Rainbow Dash's head was downcast, her mane covering her eyes. There were streams flowing down her face, ruining her makeup along the way to the puddle that was already forming at her feet. Applejack immediately swept Rainbow Dash into her arms and held the broken mare tight as they wept together.
~Back to Fluttershy~
The girls left several minutes ago and Fluttershy was waiting for her friends outside of the bathroom. Applejack came out first. She was surprised to see who was waiting outside and even more surprised to hear what she had to say.
“The girls told me everything. I’ll take it from here. Please leave Rainbow Dash to me.”
“I’m sorry Fluttershy. I trust you’ll do the right thing.” Applejack had nothing else to say and left, leaving behind two friends and a complicated situation.
When Rainbow Dash finally came out of the bathroom, she looked completely sapped of life. She was worn out and was ready to pass out in her cloud fortress when she remembered her ‘date’ with Fluttershy. She looked around the restaurant and winced as she came to realize how late it was. The janitors were cleaning up the place while the waiters and waitresses were stacking chairs, obviously getting ready to close for the night.
And yet there was Fluttershy, still sitting in the same spot Rainbow Dash had left her. A new bout of tears were ready to spring from Rainbow Dash’s eyes, but she held them in and sauntered towards the one she loved. Fluttershy gave her a sweet smile as she made her way over to the table. As Rainbow Dash took a seat, they locked eyes and there was a short silence.
“…Umm, sorry for the long wait Shy. I think I should be honest with you. The truth is-” Rainbow Dash was about to tell Fluttershy about the whole misunderstanding, but… she couldn’t. Fluttershy waited so long, hoping to find out more about her dream stallion and Rainbow Dash had the information she sought.
“The truth is that you were right. I wasn’t okay today. I wasn’t feeling very well which is why I was acting so weird. I’m sorry you had to wait so long but I’ll tell you everything you want to know about Snowflake now. I’m surprised though. I never would have thought you’d be into the whole macho deal!”
Rainbow Dash was trying to act casual. She was trying desperately to conceal her pain, and Fluttershy didn’t like that.
“Rainbow Dash…”
“So anyways, I think you’ll like him once you get to know him. He’s a nice guy who grew up in Ponyville so he’s really family oriented. He moved to Cloudsdale for a while but he didn’t stay long because he got all homesick. The first time we met was when he was actually in Cloudsdale.”
“Rainbow Dash…”
“Snowflake loves the cute types. He would definitely go for you if he just knew. I could totally hook you guys up! It would be so awesome and…and.” The broken-hearted pegasus stopped talking when she felt a hoof brush against her own.
“It’s okay Rainbow Dash. I don’t really care about that right now. I had a lovely night but I think both of us should get some rest before the tornado. Let’s head out, shall we?”
“Oh… Okay then. Yeah, I guess it is kind of late. Let’s get out of here.”
When the couple made their way outside, it was very late in the night and Luna’s full moon was at its zenith, covering everything in pale moonlight. Fluttershy seemed to glow in contrast to her dark surroundings, and in Rainbow Dash’s eyes she shined brighter than any star. Her beauty was without equal and even the princesses dulled in comparison. Rainbow Dash knew this wasn't just some crush but something more. But Fluttershy loved someone else.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t be in her presence anymore. The pain and disappointment were too much for her to bear and so she decided to leave. “So, I had a great time tonight, but like you said I got to hit the hay and get ready for the tornado. I know you don’t like that kind of stuff so you don’t have to come if you don't want to. Good night Fluttershy.”
“Rainbow Dash, wait!” She called out too late as Rainbow Dash rocketed towards her home, leaving the mare alone a second time.
Fluttershy had a lot she wanted to say to Rainbow Dash, but it would have to wait. Even though she was given permission to skip out on the tornado, she had to be there. She had to talk to Rainbow Dash. With her mind made up, Fluttershy flew off to her cottage to get rested up for the big day ahead of her. She would need it.
*End of Chapter 4*
~Small author's note~
I am sleep deprived and sick right now. I skipped classes to write this and now I'm just going to pass out. There are probably a few mistake but whatever, IDGAF ATM. Enjoy.
Chapter 5: A Storm Be Brewin'
Snowflake guzzled down a pint of cider and winced as the bubbly liquid squeezed down his throat. He was sitting on a stool in the local bar in Ponyville and wondered what was going on with his life. For the past few days, he’d had the strangest feelings at the most random of times, as if they were trying to warn him of something to come. Whether it be during one of his work out sessions or if he were just grocery shopping, a tingling sensation would occasionally run through him, telling him to avoid certain things. Specifically, certain mares.
He ordered another round as he recalled the strange event he had witnessed the other day. It was just a simple dinner meeting with his colleagues, but the normally cheery atmosphere of the restaurant they frequented had plunged into a melancholy air before he had even arrived. The aura seemed to emanate from a table of very familiar pegasi mares, and Snowflake realized that it was not the first time he had witnessed a strange spectacle involving them.
Whenever something exciting happened around Ponyville, it involved those girls. Everypony knew them as the Elements of Harmony, the mares that were always off on some misadventure around Equestria. But two mares from the group were especially familiar. They were the Elements of Loyalty and Kindness.
Snowflake knew Rainbow Dash back from when he lived in Cloudsdale. During his brief time there, he did part time for the weather team and worked with her for about a year before moving back to Ponyville to pursue his modeling career.
As for the Element of Kindness, he recognized her from after the tornado debriefing. The first time he actually made contact with her was right after the meeting when he came across her doing her business behind the bushes. He blushed a little at the memory, but washed the embarrassment down with more cider.
These two mares seemed to be at the center of his strange senses. Whenever he had the jitters, there they were not too far away. His instincts must be telling him to avoid the dangerous mares. Or perhaps they were urging him towards them?
“Oi you, the big lad sittin’ on the stool.”
Snowflake was jerked out of his thoughts by a raspy voice calling to him from the corner of the pub.
“Me?”
“Ye you.”
The voice that was as pleasant as chalk grating against a blackboard came from a creepy looking pony sitting in the far end of the bar. He was a rather small, sickly grey pegasus with fierce yellow eyes and a peg as a leg.
At first, Snowflake mistook the shaggy pony for a mare due to his size and curvy waste, but judging from the beard he had to be a stallion. Unless it was a mare with a beard? Snowflake shuddered at the thought and quickly pushed it out of his mind. He turned his attention back to the scruffy pony as he left the corner of the room and waddled his way.
As he limped closer, Snowflake smelled the poignant stench of old pastries permeate the air. One of the old pony’s eyes wandered around the room while the other was glued to Snowflake, making him shift uncomfortably under the scrutinizing stare. The old, smelly stallion plopped his rump on the stool right next to Snowflake’s and eyed the hulking pony.
“What’s a young thing like ye doin’ in a rat’s nest like this?”
The bartender gave the rude pony an incredulous glare. “Hey!”
“Oh c’mon Berry, you know I didn’t mean that. Anyways, big healthy ponies like you shouldn’t be wasting your youth in a cup o’ cider.”
Snowflake scooted his stool back until he was a safe distance away from the creepy stallion. “Are you coming onto me?”
“What? No! Is it wrong for an old sea pony to talk to young lads these days?”
Snowflake allowed his tense body to calm down and let loose a sigh. “No, I suppose not. Sorry about that, things have just been weird lately.”
The old sailor began nodding in understanding. “Aye, I’ve noticed it too lad. Take a look out that window.” Snowflake turned around and looked through the small opening. “The strong winds rustlin’ those trees, greedy for them jimmies. The rain pourin’ down like hail from the sky. A storm be brewin’ lad.”
“Yeah… it’s the storm we pegasi made in preparation for the tornado this afternoon. Rainbow Dash thought it would be a good idea to make a storm to boost the power of the tornado. Man, I can’t wait for it. It’s going to be SICK.”
“Aye, it’ll be sick alright. The sight’ll be somethin’ for sore eyes, I assure you lad. It’ll be a storm to reckon!”
The ponies in the bar gasped as the window burst open, letting powerful gales and rain pour in. Thunder struck the background as the crazed old pony hopped onto his stool and continued his rambling.
“Aye, a storm be brewin’! The wretched stench of the piles of flesh to come will be matched only by its size and the odor of the storm that caused it. It’s a manurestorm everypony! A manurestorm!”
By now, the ponies in the bar were so freaked out they were huddling together for comfort.
Snowflake sighed. Things were getting weird around him. Again. It seemed that the hysterical pony wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, so the buff stallion put down his bits and slipped out the door amidst the chaos.
The bartender noticed his swift escape and slammed her hoof on the counter. “Dammit Derpy, would you quit scaring the customers?! And take that stupid costume off.”
The old stallion, who was now atop one of the stools with his arms flailing in the air, resigned and floated down onto the floor. “Alright, alright. I was just rehearsing for this year’s Hearth’s Warming Eve play. Don’t get your panties in a knot.”
“The hay is a panty?”
Derpy shrugged and shook herself out of the costume. She sat down on the stool Snowflake has occupied and looked around for her potential drinking buddy.
“Hey, where’d that stallion go?”
“You scared another customer off Derps.” She sighed. “Shouldn’t you be out there, I don’t know, helping with the tornado?”
“No, they said I was a liability so I got the day off. I’m still getting paid too.”
“So you decided to spend your day off frightening customers at my bar. Nice.”
Berry Punch went and closed the window, catching a glimpse of the hard rain and culminating floods outside in the streets as the occasional lightning lit the dark skies.
“A storm, huh?”
“What was that?”
The bartender turned back around and sat on the other side of the counter facing her friend. “Nothing. So, are you going to pay for your drinks, or am I going to have to kick you out?”
The grey pegasus’ eyes rotated as she smiled and nudged Snowflake’s bits closer to Berry. “Hey, check it out! That stallion left some bits for me too. What a gentlepony. I wish I got his name.”
Berry Punch’s eyes bulged out of her sockets as she jumped up from her seat and snatched the bits. After counting every last bit, she confirmed it. That customer was a freak. “No bucking way! He actually had a thing for your whole creepy old dirt bag act? Gross!”
“What can I say? I know what men want. If you’re still having trouble with guy problems, maybe I can be of assistance.”
Berry punch scowled. “Derpy, I know for a fact that you’ve never dated anypony. Now shut up and finish your drink so I can wash that mug.”
The triumphant mare took small sips from her cider, savoring each drop and trying to make the mystery stallion’s hospitality last as long as possible. The bartender grumbled and blew hot air from her snout in agitation. Then she left to wipe the boogers that came out, leaving a giggling mailmare on the stool.
~Outside in the storm~
After leaving a few extra bits for the old man, Snowflake was out of the bar. He felt pity for the smelly stallion and was worried that he might get kicked out into the rain since he seemed like a poor hobo, and Snowflake would not let that happen to any resident of Ponyville.
Was he a resident of Ponyville? He seemed familiar, but Snowflake was unable to catch a glimpse of his cutie mark before his escape. Meh, whatever.
As Snowflake trotted in the rain towards the lake where the long anticipated tornado was to take place, he couldn’t help but wonder if the storm really was a good idea. The words of the salty old pony echoed in his mind as he made his way towards the designated spot. “A manurestorm be brewin’... brewin’… brewin’… something about stench and odor. I smell like old muffins.” Snowflake laughed a little at his silly interpretation of what the mysterious pony actually said.
He shook the echoes from his head and continued onwards. The old man was obviously delusional. There was nothing wrong with this storm, after all, Rainbow Dash planned it and she knew all there was about weather. She would never cause danger to anypony in her right state of mind.
By the time Snowflake made it to the clearing, several pegasi were already making preparations for the biggest tornado of the century. He felt the adrenaline pump through his veins as he swept his gaze across the expansive mass of pegasi that had gathered to create the beastly cyclone of wind and awesomeness. Snowflake put on his goggles and began stretching. Things were about to get real.
~In the far corner of the lake~
Rainbow Dash sat on a bench as her crew prepared for the tornado. Her normally vibrant eyes were void of any life as they stared at the wet grass and her normally proud posture was hunched with arms limp at her sides. The heavy rain fell hard against her slumping frame, completely soaking her fur, and the chilling winds tossed her mane around, but she could not feel any of it.
Ever since the revelation from last night, Rainbow Dash was numb. Though the weather was cold and her neglected stomach growled for food, the only thing she could feel was the ache in her heart. She tried to pry her mind off of the subject, but her thoughts constantly wandered back to Fluttershy and her crush on Snowflake.
Snowflake. Just the name alone sent chills of jealousy and disappointment through her. Fluttershy was pretty, elegant and demure, but she was also easily frightened and paranoid. Snowflake was strong, kind and thoughtful; he could take care of her well and protect her when he needed to. Now that she thought about it, they seemed like the perfect match.
But Rainbow Dash could do those too. She was strong, wasn’t she? She was assertive, she took care of her friends, and most of all, she was loyal. She had just as much to offer as Snowflake, probably even more. She understood Fluttershy and cared for her, and Snowflake probably didn’t even know she existed. Why did she have to fall for him? She’s going for the wrong pony, thought Rainbow Dash bitterly.
“Rainbow Dash, I know I’ve asked you several times already, but is the storm really such a good idea? I know that pegasi can harness the magical properties of weather, but isn’t attempting to apply the magic to fuel the tornado too dangerous?” Twilight Sparkle sat next to her downtrodden friend and placed a hoof on her cold shoulder in a vain attempt at comforting her.
Rainbow Dash kept her eyes locked on the grass. “Yeah, it’ll help us get the tornado up faster. I just want to get this thing over with. I don’t really care about the record anymore.”
The lavender unicorn had no clue what to do at this point. She witnessed the tragic moment from the night prior and knew what her friend was going through, but none of her books gave her any affective means of curing heartbreak. With no ideas but to trust Rainbow Dash’s judgment, she sat there stroking her friend’s arm waiting for the tornado.
~The cottage~
Fluttershy made her way towards the exit of her humble home, but stopped in her tracks as a half-eaten carrot knocked against her head. She turned her attention to Angel Bunny who was thumping his leg impatiently while holding up a flight goggle. The yellow pegasus flashed her pet an apologetic smile and gratefully took the eyewear after giving him a pat on the head. With her gear in check and her mind set, she stepped out into the storm, ready for whatever the day had to throw at her.
As soon as she stepped out and closed the door behind her, Fluttershy was blown back against her cottage by the howling winds. She wasn’t quite ready for that, but she would not relent. Today she would make everything right with Rainbow Dash, even if it meant fighting a storm and flying through a hurricane.
Her eyes ablaze with fierce determination, Fluttershy braced the winds and lifted off towards the designated tornado zone.
*End of Chapter 5*
~Small author's note~
I got Derpy's crazy speech from some random youtube comment I vaguely remembered. Yeah, random I know.
Preview of next chapter: Things are going to go down and stuff is going to happen. Awesome stuff.