The Snowball Fight

by zaponator

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Silver Spoon, Adventure, Random, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 22513

"There is only one rule: If you get hit, you're out." Apple Bloom is dragged into an all-out civil war between the students of Ponyville Elementary, and soon enough the Crusaders are the only ones left to stand against a seemingly unstoppable evil.

"There is only one rule: If you get hit, you're out."
Apple Bloom is dragged into an all-out civil war between the students of Ponyville Elementary, and soon enough the Crusaders are the only ones left to stand against a seemingly unstoppable evil.

Published 2014-12-27 01:00:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-27 01:00:11 UTC

Prologue: Quiet... Too Quiet

Winter had descended upon the small town of Ponyville. Fluffy white snow covered every surface in a thick layer, painting the entire landscape into sameness while somehow retaining a natural beauty. The bright morning sun glinted off the ice cold blanket like a million diamonds strewn across the ground.

That very same sun cast its rays right through the second storey window of a tiny farmhouse located on a not-so-tiny farm. Apple Bloom groaned and tried to clench her eyes shut tighter against the intruding brightness, but the big stupid sun continued to be big and stupid. Also very bright.

That last point managed to cut through the fog surrounding the filly's sleep-addled mind. Usually, she would wake up to the soft glow of a breaking sunrise. For the light streaming through her window to be so bright meant only one thing…

"Oh horseapples!" she shouted as she sprang from bed. Apple Bloom was late for school.

She landed on the hardwood floor in a sprawling heap, but was back on her hooves in a blink. Apple Bloom bolted out the door and took the stairs three at a time as she bounded her way to the first floor. Again, this ended with the filly introducing her face to the floor at the base of the stairs, but again she hopped back up to her hooves none the worse for wear.

The rest of the family was already gone, except for Granny Smith who was sleeping soundly in her rocking chair, so Apple Bloom wasted no time in throwing a toque atop her head and zipping out the door into the winter wonderland beyond.

Unfortunately, she couldn't take the time to appreciate the glittering scenery as she sprinted down the road into town. Trees decorated in icicles and giant banks of snow blurred past on either side of the road. The sun seemed almost to taunt her with its height in the sky. Apple Bloom could tell that class had already started by now. Her chances of bursting into school just in time for the bell were completely shattered, but with any amount of luck she could sneak in and take her seat without missing too much.

Her train of thought, along with her hooves, both skidded to a screeching halt in the same moment that a figure stepped out of a bush to stand directly in Apple Bloom's path. Her sliding stop took her within a few feet of the strange pony, and Apple Bloom paused to both catch her breath and get a good look at just whoever it was who'd stopped her.

He was a green pegasus colt, just a little younger than Apple Bloom herself. He wore a thick winter jacket, and a white balaclava that hid most of his face, but Apple Bloom thought she recognized him vaguely from a grade below herself. Even though his mouth was hidden, Apple Bloom could clearly see the deadly smirk in his orange eyes as he hefted a snowball in one hoof.

"Seriously?!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, gawking. "I ain't got time for this! You know class has already started, so get a move on!"

The colt blinked in genuine confusion, but quickly shifted his features into a glare as he took a step towards her. Apple Bloom fidgeted nervously. Her hooves involuntarily took her a half-step backwards as the oddly acting colt inched closer and closer.

"Look, uh, you're startin' to weird me out now…" Apple Bloom hopped back a couple times to gain some distance. "So if ya don't mind, I'm just gonna… go."

"Go?" The colt finally spoke, his high voice somewhat betraying the weight he tried to place on his words. "Oh, I don't think you'll be going anywhere. Right boys?"

As he shouted that last question, a rustling sound caused Apple Bloom to turn around. Two more colts, an earth pony and another pegasus, slinked out of the bushes on either side of the road back the way she'd come. One wore a scarf wrapped around his head, while the other had on a simple toque. Both held perfectly formed snowballs at the ready. She was surrounded.

Apple Bloom spun in place as she tried to watch all three of them for any sudden movements. The three colts seemed content to watch her from a safe distance until their leader spoke up once more.

"I doubt this one could tell us anything useful. I say we out her here and now."

"Sounds good to me."

"I got no problem with that."

Apple Bloom raised a hoof. "Uh, do I get a vote?"

"The only thing you get," the leader chuckled darkly, "is last words. Say goodbye, filly."

"Goodbye, filly!" a third voice echoed from somewhere in the surrounding trees.

Before any of the colts could even flinch, the left side of their leader's head was lost behind a huge puff of white snow. He grunted and collapsed to the ground, and his two henchponies hesitated just a moment too long.

A blurred figure in a brown cloak sprung into the road faster than lightning. They somersaulted across the icy surface, picking up the leader's fallen snowball as they did. The figure came out of their roll in a skidding halt, pausing for less than a split second before flinging the leader's snowball at one of his own colts. The colt barely had time to clench his eyes before the flying orb of snow stuck him directly in the forehead. He flew backwards with a yelp and fwomped into a snowbank on the side of the road, lying still.

Finally, the last remaining henchpony regained enough of his senses to let fly his snowy payload. The throw was pathetic compared to what Apple Bloom had just witnessed from the cloaked stranger. The stranger simply stepped to the side and let the snowball sail harmlessly into the trees. The colt stared in wide-eyed silence for several seconds, before turning and breaking into a near-sobbing sprint away from the scene.

"Wow!" Apple Bloom stared, slackjawed. "That was amaz—"

"Hold that thought," the cloaked pony interrupted in a strangely familiar, scratchy voice.

The stranger took a couple steps forward and stooped to quickly form a fresh snowball. They reared their foreleg back, paused for the space of two breaths, and threw.

The ball soared like a shot from a cannon. It arced high through the air, and remained dead on target. The running colt, barely even visible at that point, took the impact in the back of the head and sprawled face-first onto the snowy road before lying still.

"Booyah! Three points!" the cloaked figure pumped an orange hoof.

Apple Bloom shook her head slowly. "Who in tarnation are you?"

"Hm?" The cloaked figure seemed to just then fully realize Apple Bloom's presence. She turned around to face the farm filly, at last granting Apple Bloom a view of her saviour's face.

"Scootaloo!?" Apple Bloom gasped.

"No way! Apple Bloom!?" Scootaloo lunged forward and took her friend by the shoulders. "We thought you were dead!"

"…" Apple Bloom blinked. "But I was just late for school."

Scootaloo released her with a sigh. "Yeah, well, a lot's happened." She glanced around nervously. "We can't discuss it here. It's not safe to be out in the open this long. Frankly, you're lucky I was around, or you'd have been out already."

"Scootaloo, I am super confused."

"I'll explain everything! Just follow me somewhere first." Scootaloo grinned. "It's time we got the band back together."

Getting The Band Back Together

Scootaloo, still dressed in her heavy brown cloak, led the way through the woods. Apple Bloom followed in her friend's hoofsteps, noting the way that Scootaloo's gaze constantly moved over their surroundings as if every rock and bush was a potential threat.

They didn't seem to be going anywhere recognizable, so it was with some surprise that Apple Bloom saw Scootaloo raise a forehoof to signal a halt. Apple Bloom trotted up and stood next to her friend, trying to see what reason they had for stopping.

Their surroundings looked much the same as they had for the whole hike. Snow-covered trees and snow-covered bushes scattered across snow-covered ground. With all defining details hidden beneath the snowy covering, Apple Bloom could honestly say she had no idea where they were.

"It's right here," Scootaloo said unhelpfully, totally ignoring Apple Bloom's requests to clarify what it was.

Scootaloo trotted over to a seemingly random mound of snow the size of a small cottage. A large tree jutted out of the middle of the snowbank, though its leaves held no snow. If Apple Bloom had to guess, she would say that all the snow had fallen from the tree to form the absurdly large snow drift at its base.

Other than that, Apple Bloom failed to see anything remarkable about it until they trotted around to the other side. There, a wide and flat piece of bark was leaned up against the snowpile. Scootaloo approached the out of place bark and knocked on it three times.

A muffled but squeaky voice answered, "What's the password?"

Scootaloo ran a hoof over her face. "We've been over this a hundred times. There is no password!"

There was a long pause. "That's the password!"

The piece of bark shifted and slid out of the way at the hooves of whoever was inside. A warm, orange light glowed inside the snow hill, and Scootaloo wasted no time in stepping inside. Apple Bloom hesitated momentarily at the strangeness of the whole situation, before shrugging and following her friend.

It took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the dimmer light inside, and in that time she heard somepony close the entrance back up. When her vision cleared, Apple Bloom saw two wide-eyed faces staring at her with equally wide grins.

"Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Why were you hiding inside a snowbank?"

The aforementioned unicorn was dressed in a green scarf and earmuffs, and was sitting next to a small fire beside the tree in the center of the hollowed out shelter.

"It's the only safe place left." Sweetie nodded sagely, as if she'd actually explained anything at all.

She hadn't, and Apple Bloom's glare certainly made that known.

"Ahem, er, right," Scootaloo jumped in. "I guess I do owe you an explanation for what's going on."

"She doesn't know?!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed incredulously.

"I didn't have time!" Scootaloo shot back. "I found her wandering right down the middle of an open road! She'd already gotten jumped by three goons when I showed up. After I outed them, we couldn't risk sitting out in the open any longer."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Alright, fair enough." She turned to Apple Bloom. "How much do you know?"

"Literally nothing."

Sweetie Belle blinked. "We'll start from the beginning then."

Scootaloo leaned forward. "It all started when we got to school today. Miss Cheerilee gathered up all the students and said there were gonna be no classes today."

"But it's not just a normal snow day," Sweetie Belle added. "Instead, Miss Cheerilee started a game."

"A snowball fight," Scootaloo clarified. "School wide."

Sweetie Belle nodded. "The last pony in the game gets a prize. There's only one rule: If you get hit by a snowball, you're out."

"No backsies," Scootaloo added in a low voice.

"The first few minutes were crazy." Sweetie Belle turned her eyes towards the floor. "Chaos everywhere. Colts and fillies were being outed faster than they could blink. Only the smartest, strongest, or fastest survived."

Scootaloo grimaced. "A regular snowpocalypse."

Sweetie Belle continued, "Eventually, when some of the dust began to clear and the snowballs slowed down, somepony was bound to rise up and take command."

"Aero, pegasus colt from the class ahead of ours." Scootaloo nodded. "He was the first to try it. He stood up on a hill shouting about how peace was the only answer. He said we could all work together, play together, and share the prize with everypony."

Sweetie Belle only grimaced.

Scootaloo glanced at her friend before continuing, "Yeah, everypony thought it was dumb so we outed him right away."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "But then it got worse."

Scootaloo shuddered and hugged her forelegs to herself. "Super worse."

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon took over leadership. They recruited almost everypony to their cause with silver tongues and empty promises. They say they're going to share the prize with those they deem worthy, but only their blind followers believe that."

"They're not gonna share anything!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "But… still, more than half the school joined the cause."

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "They call themselves The Conglomerate."

"I don't know what that means, but it makes me mad!"

"Those of us who saw through Diamond's offer fought back against the Conglomerites," Sweetie Belle went on. "There used to be many of us, but there was always more of them."

Scootaloo made a disgusted noise. "We lost. We lost hard. All we wanted was to be able to pummel each other in peace, but The Conglomerizers—"

"Conglomerate," Sweetie interjected.

"—just couldn't let us have that. Now us three? We're the only ones left. Everypony else is either out, or brainwashed by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's fancy words."

"So there you have it." Sweetie Belle turned her eyes back on Apple Bloom. "The summary of our lost war, and the introduction to our dead rebellion. Any questions?"

Apple Bloom squinted. "Firstly, all this happened in the 30 minutes I overslept?"

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle glanced at each other, then at Apple Bloom. "Yeah."

"Alright. Secondly, just what is this prize that's got our entire school embroiled in civil war?"

"Uhhhhh…" Both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo avoided Apple Bloom's prying gaze.

"The thing is…" Sweetie Belle started.

Scootaloo joined in. "We don't exactly…"

"Know what the prize is."

"But I'm sure it's something awesome!"

"Or pretty!"

"Or explosive!"

"Or in six designer colours!"

The two fillies fell into swooning silence as Apple Bloom stared in shock. "Y'all mean to tell me everypony's gone postal and they don't even know what they're doin' it for!?"

"Yeah," Scootaloo shrugged. "But just think about it. That prize could be anything…"

Apple Bloom thought about it. She could really use a nice new boat…

"Alright, I'm in! Let's take down The Conglamoration!"

"Conglomerate," Sweetie Belle corrected.

"Whatever!"

A Deadly Game

"So what's the plan?" Apple Bloom asked her two comrades.

"It's not gonna be easy," Scootaloo replied. "They were able to crush anypony who opposed them with direct force, so we need to do this with… like, indirect force?"

Sweetie Belle sighed. "We need to do it with brains instead of brawn."

"Right! Exactly!" Scootaloo pointed. "So let's out-brain them already. Anypony got any ideas?"

Sweetie Belle tentatively raised a hoof. "I was thinking we could make a bunch of snowballs."

"I like it so far."

"Then we go and find the Conglomerate leaders."

"Sounds good."

"And we… hit them with the snowballs."

"That…" Scootaloo stared. "Is a terrible plan. Okay, time for my awesome plan. Step one,
we need to get our hooves on an airship, at least six meters of high quality silk, and—"

"Wait wait wait," Apple Bloom interrupted. She turned to Sweetie Belle. "Did you say leaders? I thought Diamond Tiara was the leader."

While Scootaloo crossed her forelegs in a huff, Sweetie responded, "She is, ultimately. She's El Presidente of the whole Conglomerate, but that's a lot of ponies to lead all by herself."

Scootaloo leaned forward. "That's at least, like… seven or eight ponies."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Sure. Anyway, Diamond appointed four lieutenants to oversee her henchponies. Silver Spoon stays at her side as her right-hoof mare."

Scootaloo snorted. "Those two never see any action themselves. All they do is sit back and make other ponies do what they want. I'm not even sure they've even thrown a snowball once!"

"Alright." Apple Bloom nodded. "So the only way to get to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would be to defeat all of their lieutenants first?"

"Sure, whatever." Scootaloo shrugged.

Sweetie Belle piped up, "It's not that easy though. Each one of those four will be protected by their own small army, and hidden away in their own snow fort. If we could manage to bypass or defeat their guards, and then if we managed to out all four of them, then sure, we'd have a clear shot at Diamond Tiara herself."

"That's a lot of ifs," Scootaloo pointed out.

"Really? It's, like, two."

"Girls!" Apple Bloom shouted, drawing the focus to herself. "It may not be easy, but I don't think we have any sorta alternative. I say we go for it. Remember, you've got me back on your side now. There ain't nothing the three of us can't handle!"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo loudly agreed. "Let's smash some faces!"

"Whoa, jeeze, gear down a bit."

"So…" Sweetie Belle tapped her forehooves together. "You're saying that our plan is to find the Conglomerate leaders… and hit them with snowballs."

Scootaloo beamed. "Yes!" Her ears folded. "Wait, no!"

"There it is," Scootaloo pointed across a low field to a structure standing tall at the other end. "The first snow fort."

"It's… weirdly blocky," Apple Bloom pointed out.

Sure enough, the fortress was built out of seemingly perfect one by one meter cubes of snow. The cubes were meticulously stacked to form a stereotypical castle, complete with battlements.

Sweetie Belle sighed. "It's… never mind. You'll understand when you see who's in there."

"Fair enough. Scootaloo," Apple Bloom turned to her feathered friend. "You're the scout-y one. Any idea what sort of opposition we're up against."

Scootaloo was peering off towards the castle through narrowed eyes. At first she didn't respond, but when Apple Bloom poked her in the shoulder she jolted as if knocked from deep thought.

"It just doesn't make a lot of sense…" Scootaloo muttered. "I'm not seeing any guards at all. Not even a single henchpony. Maybe they're not home."

"We're not so lucky," Sweetie Belle murmured. "Let's just get down there and check it out. Keep your eyes open."

The three of them stood from where they'd been hidden atop a snow bank in the woods. They stepped out cautiously into the open field and paused. When no attack came after a full minute, the Crusaders trotted towards the castle. They approached in silence, each holding a snowball at the ready. The fortress was quiet… too quiet. If anypony was inside, they weren't saying a word.

The Crusaders paused outside the front gate. It was a flimsy thing of sticks and twigs, but most importantly, it was entirely unguarded. Scootaloo silently motioned for her two friends to get ready. They took up positions on either side of the door while Scootaloo herself stood directly in front of it. She breathed in deep, counted to three, and then…

Crack!

The door shattered easily at the force of Scootaloo's buck. The other two were inside before the debris had even hit the ground. Apple Bloom leapt into a combat roll and came out sliding, ready to throw. Sweetie Belle dove into the center of the room and spun in place, looking for targets.

Both of them blinked in confusion. The room was empty.

"Haugh!" Scootaloo jumped through the ruined doorway. "Knock knock, mother—there's nopony here." She stared around the room in disappointment. "Fine then, I'm reusing that line next time we enter a room like that."

"This ain't right," Apple Bloom muttered. "Nopony builds a castle like this and then just leaves it. We gotta search the place."

"How about back there?" Sweetie Belle pointed to a doorway in the back of the room.

The three of them crept up to the doorway slowly. They stacked up on either side, then rushed through with their snowballs ready.

"Hold on!" A voice like sandpaper being dragged through their ear canals called out. "Just let me save my game and we can do the whole fighting thing."

There he sat. Reclining in a throne of ice was their first target, a brown earth pony colt with a two-tone brown mane and a stupid hat. He was biting his tongue and tapping away at a hoof-held video game, apparently not very concerned about the three armed fillies that had just kicked in his door.

After a few minutes of patient waiting, he finally shut down the video game and set it aside.

"Right then, how does this go?" He tapped his chin. "Ah, right. You face Button Mash, Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion!"

Scootaloo squinted. "Why's your castle empty. It just you in here or what?"

Button Mash huffed indignantly. "Yeah, so?" he replied, his voice like a thousand beestings directly to the eardrum. "I don't need henchponies any more than I need friends. My joyboy is my friend. Besides, I'm the bossfight here! Don't interrupt my monologue!"

Poff!

A snowball lanced across the room and impacted him directly in the mouth. Button Mash fell over backwards, sputtering and coughing.

"Game over," Scootaloo declared with a proud smirk. "Celestia, he's so annoying!" she said while she crouched to fashion a new snowball.

"I know, right?" Apple Bloom replied. "I feel like my ears are gonna start bleedin'."

"Let's leave before he can talk again."

As the two of them trotted out of the castle, Sweetie Belle followed behind. "I dunno, I think he's kinda endearing."

"Pfft," Scootaloo waved a hoof. "Of course you would."

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know! Sometimes I just say things!"

Sweets And Elites

"I still can't believe Sweetie's gone…" Scootaloo breathed.

"She's not gone. She's right over there!" Apple Bloom pointed across the way to where Sweetie Belle could be seen trotting happily down the road towards town.

"Oh… Hi, Sweetie Belle!"

Sweetie Belle looked over and saw the other two Crusaders waving. She waved back brightly, then continued skipping towards home.

Scootaloo turned back to Apple Bloom. "Alright, I'm thinking we try to sneak into this next one. See if we can slip past the guards using stealth and trickery instead of just wandering in there disguised."

"Why?" Apple Bloom tilted her head. "It actually worked alright last time until everything went sideways."

"I'unno. Why not?"

"…'kay."

With their new plan in mind, the two set off towards their next target. They trekked through the wintery forest, carefully keeping an eye out for errant patrols of Conglomerites. Strangely, they didn't run across a single patrol for the entire trip, and before long, they saw the fort in the distance.

As they got closer, and the details came into view, both Crusaders couldn't help but stop and stare.

"Whoa."

"Y'all can say that again."

"…whoa."

The castle was easily the most impressive yet. It hardly even looked like it was made of snow. Instead, the structure seemed to be constructed of candy and frosting. Giant candy canes framed the gate, and huge gumdrops formed delicious battlements. A large tower was featured in the center, and atop the tower sat a roof tiled with chocolate wafers. The castle had plenty of open windows, and each window was framed with oversized sticks of cinnamon.

"Okay," Apple Bloom held up a hoof, pointing incredulously, "how in the flying hay does something like that even make sense?!"

"Apple Bloom, the fact that you even ask questions like that shows me that your focus is in entirely the wrong place right now."

"…what?!"

"Shut up and follow me. It's time to give them a taste of their own candy."

There were guards posted at the front gate, but fortunately there were plenty of windows to choose from all around the castle. The Crusaders approached from the back, moving swift and low across the open ground and pressing themselves up against the ice cold wall as soon as they reached it.

"Look," Apple Bloom whispered as the two of them inched towards an open window. "Button Mash's little fort? Sure, that kid has way too much time on his hooves. I can accept that."

She paused to boost Scootaloo up into the window sill. Moments later, an orange hoof reached down and yanked Apple Bloom inside. The two of them continued stealthily down the hallway.

"And Snips and Snails' place? Well, the two've 'em are unicorns. And even then, it was really just a big dome anyway. That's believable. But this!?" Apple Bloom gestured around them at the hall they were currently in. The floor was topped by a rich red rug, made of woven licorice, and the walls were decorated with tapestries depicting various sweets and confections.

"This is just absurd!"

"Apple Bloom." Scootaloo paused to peer around a corner before motioning for Apple Bloom to follow. "You need to stop overthinking things. Can't you just be happy to kick butt and take names in a big, cool castle? Who cares how it got here?"

"I care! It makes no sense!"

"Lots of stuff makes no sense. Look, ugh," Scootaloo rounded on Apple Bloom with a flat stare. "Do you remember the old treebrary? Before it got all crystal castle-y?"

Apple Bloom blinked at the apparent non-sequitur, but decided to go along with it. "Uh… yeah. The Golden Oaks. I liked that place. Shame it exploded."

"Sure, whatever." Scootaloo waved a hoof. "But did you ever go inside?"

"Of course. Are you saying I can't read?"

"What?! No!"

"Good… 'cause I can."

"That's fantastic, but not the point!" Scootaloo waved her hooves frantically. "Here's my point: You saw the library from the outside. How big was it?"

Apple Bloom thought about it for a moment. "Y'know… tree-sized. Not all that big."

"Right!" Scootaloo nodded. "And you went inside. How big was it in there?"

"I… Uh…" Apple Bloom blinked. She blinked again. She could already feel a headache coming on. "It was… it was a lot bigger!"

Scootaloo pointed with one forehoof while holding the other to her muzzle. "Bang on the money."

"But… What?!"

Scootaloo shrugged. "I started noticing this stuff a long time ago. The answer is: don't think about it."

Apple Bloom stared blankly at her friend for a full minute before responding. "Okay."

They continued along their way in total silence. They passed through hallway after hallway in search of some sign that might lead to their target. Finally, the sound of clopping hooves could be heard echoing from somewhere ahead of them.

"Crud! Hide!" Scootaloo whispered harshly. She dove behind a tapestry while Apple Bloom crouched in the shadows of a potted gumdrop tree.

The guard appeared mere moments later. He was a unicorn colt in some sort of uniform. Like most Conglomerate goons, his face was covered; a black scarf wound around his head several times before disappearing underneath a black toque.

They waited for him to pass, only to suck in a breath as the guard stopped just after passing them. The guard looked around furtively, fidgeting on his hooves as he did so. Once he was satisfied that he was alone, he slowly, slowly leaned his head towards the rug. Fighting excited shivers, the guard carefully extended his tongue and took a long lick of the licorice carpet. A prolonged shiver passed through his uniformed body.

Apple Bloom gagged. She looked over to check her friend's reaction, but Scootaloo wasn't in her hiding spot anymore.

Scootaloo crept like a cat until she was directly behind the guard. She tensed, breathed in, and then pounced. Her hooves wrapped around his neck before he had a chance to cry out, but he struggled to break free. The guard writhed and wriggled in Scootaloo's grip, fighting back with all his might. Scootaloo held on resolutely, being careful not to cut off his breathing or circulation as she held him around the neck.

"Dude, quit struggling! You're gonna hurt yoursel—"

Snap!

A sickening snap cut Scootaloo off, and then the guard went still. Scootaloo blinked. Apple Bloom blinked from where she was watching in the shadows.

"Ahh!" Scootaloo flung the limp body away from her to where it landed in a tangle of limbs on the floor. "AAAAHHHHH!"

"AAAAHHHHH!" Apple Bloom rushed out of cover to join in the panic. "SCOOTALOO, WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO," Scootaloo sobbed. "Quick, we have to hide the body! I can't go to jail! I'm just a filly; do you know what they do to fillies in jail!?"

Apple Bloom blinked. "No! Do you!?"

"No! But I'm gonna find out unless you grab his friggin' head while I grab his tail! Get over here and help me find a nice, deep pit! Preferably an actual empty grave."

Apple Bloom hesitated. As much as she didn't want to become an accessory to murder, she'd always been told friendship was more important than anything else.

"Alright." Apple Bloom shrugged and trotted over to help her friend dispose of the body.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" The guard suddenly thrashed out of their grip and fell to the floor. "Oof!"

"Ahh!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom screamed in harmony.

"Zombie!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "Stand back, I'll kill it!" She grabbed a large chunk of ice and lifted it over her head. "Back to Tartarus with you, monster!"

"Stop it! I'm not a zombie!" The guard curled up and shielded his face with his forehooves.

Scootaloo hesitated. Apple Bloom leaned in to whisper, "It could be a zombie trick. Keep your eyes on 'im."

"It's no trick!" The guard exclaimed, half-near sobbing at this point. "I made that snapping noise myself. I thought it would be cool! Jeeze, why are you two taking a game so seriously."

Scootaloo squinted at him for several moments. Her scrutiny lasted long enough for the guard to start fidgeting awkwardly before Scootaloo finally dropped the chunk of ice with a sigh.

"Fine, I guess you're not a zombie. Go back to being out then."

"Oh, r-right!" The colt flopped back down onto the floor with his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"Brilliant. Let's keep moving." Scootaloo gestured for Apple Bloom to follow and then trotted on ahead.

Apple Bloom slunk after her friend, shaking her head. "Today is weird."

At long last, they discovered an ornate candy door at the end of a long hallway. Unfortunately, the door was protected by a pair of Conglomerites. The two filly guards were an earth pony and a pegasus, and it was clear there was no simply going around them.

"You got a plan?" Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo as they crouched around a corner, out of view of the guards.

"Sorta," Scootaloo replied tentatively. "It's… not an amazing plan."

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Better than no plan. Let's do it."

"Alright then. I'll wait here. You go convince them to follow you around this corner."

Apple Bloom squinted. "That's the plan. You weren't lyin' about it bein' not amazing. That's the most not-amazing plan I've ever heard."

"Don't sweat it! I've totally got this. Just go get 'em."

"Why don't you go get 'em!?"

"You're not as immediately recognizable as I am! Now quit stalling!" With that, Scootaloo shoved Apple Bloom forcefully out into the hallway, and into view of the guards.

The guards tensed, but didn't attack. Apple Bloom tried not to visibly show her relief as she trotted towards them carefully.

"Uh… howdy!" she said with forced cheer as she came within speaking range.

"Greetings," one guard replied. "Is there something you need?"

"Well, I—"

"Wait a second!" The other guard interrupted. She picked up a snowball and took several steps forward to stare intently at Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom fidgeted under the intense scrutiny as the guard seemed to be staring straight through her.

"I think I recognize you from somewhere…"

Apple Bloom fought to keep her hooves from shaking. She offered an entirely fake smile as she considered whether or not she could outrun two thrown snowballs and make it back around the corner in time. It was doubtful at best. Well —she tensed her muscles and subtly bent her legs— best to go out fighting.

"Nah, never mind! I got nothing." The guard dropped her snowball and stepped back into place.

Apple Bloom was so relieved, she very nearly missed the other guard's question.

"So do you need anything?"

Apple Bloom stared back for several seconds. "Oh! Oh, yes. Yes I do." She smiled crookedly. "I, uh, I saw something suspicious over there… around that corner. If'n you'll just follow me, I can take y'all to, uh, investigate it or whatever."

The guards stared back in silence.

"This seems like the single most legitimate thing I have ever heard. Lead the way!"

"Uh… right. Follow me!" Apple Bloom trotted back the way she'd come with the two oblivious guards in tow. Whatever Scootaloo was planning, she hoped it worked out. When they reached the corner, Apple Bloom held her breath and stepped around it.

"Name's Scootaloo." Scootaloo was standing on her hind hooves with a smirk and two perfectly formed snowballs. "Ice to meet you!"

Piff!

Baff!

Both guards collapsed into groaning heaps, their faces covered in snow.

Apple Bloom stared, mouth agape. "That was it!? Your plan was to give a one-liner and then hit them with snowballs!?"

Scootaloo shrugged. "Worked, didn't it?"

"Why'd I have to lead them over here!? We could've done that to them in front of the door!"

"Yeah, but this was so much cooler! Now c'mon," Scootaloo sprinted down the hall towards the door. "Time's a-wasting!"

They stacked up in front of the ornate door and took several deep breaths.

"You ready for this?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah… Hey, Apple Bloom, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"What?" Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Uh… why?"

Scootaloo didn't miss a beat. "To get to the castle. Knock knock."

"Who's… there?"

"The chicken!"

Scootaloo spun and bucked the door with all her might. Candy and ice shattered beneath the force and exploded into the room beyond. The two fillies jumped through the wreckage and landed in fighting stances next to each other.

"Knock knock, mother—Seriously?!"

As the dust settled and the room came into focus, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were greeted by at least six henchponies standing in a semi-circle before them. All of them were armed with snowballs, and all of them were ready. Only one thing held them back: their leader.

She sat in a balcony overlooking the large room. High, high above the dangerous situation below, reclining on a throne of gingerbread, was a cream coloured earth pony filly with a tangled mess of red mane and a large pair of purple glasses.

"Twist?!" Both Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shouted.

Apple Bloom gave her old friend an imploring look. "Twist, why're y'all on the bad guy team!?"

Twist stared back for several seconds, before finally answering with a shrug.

"Well okay then!" Scootaloo looked around at their dire situation. "You've got us here, but you're not attacking. What do you want?"

Twist hopped off her chair and leaned over the balcony with a maniacal grin. "It'th quite thimple, my thilly little friendth!"

"…what!?" Apple Bloom shouted. "I can't… I don't know what you're saying!"

"Oh pleath," Twist replied with a wave of her hoof. "My thpeech problemth aren't tho bad that you can't underthtand what I'm thaying!"

Scootaloo rubbed at her ears. "I… I think she's trying to communicate. Apple Bloom, are you getting any of this?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "I'm hearin' somthin', but I can't make heads or tails of it."

"Thtop that! I'm thupposed to be giving a propothition!" Twist pulled at her mane frantically. "The three of uth could thtop The Conglomerate and thave the thchool! I'm willing to thide with the Cruthaders over the thtupid Conglomorate any day!"

"Yeah, it's just a bunch of nonsense to me. I think she's just messing with us." Scootaloo gestured up at the, now enraged, figure on the balcony. "Hey, quit fooling around and start talking good!"

"That'th it! You guys thuck! Thcrew you and your thtupid rebellion!" Twist threw her forehooves up in frustration. "Jutht out them! Out them both!"

"Wuh oh…" Apple Bloom shifted lower in her stance.

"Yeah," Scootaloo's wings twitched. "I understood that last order pretty well."

Everypony moved at once. The guards all threw their snowballs at the same time that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo dove in opposite directions. The spot they'd occupied a moment prior was reduced to a mound of snow, but they were already springing into action.

Scootaloo quickly scooped up a pair of snowballs and let them fly. The first one was dodged, just barely, but the second one smashed a pegasus filly in the face, laying her out instantly. The guards retaliated with their own snowballs, and Scootaloo dive-rolled behind a gingerbread desk for cover.

Apple Bloom, meanwhile, was engaged in combat with a single guard colt. He was putting up more of a fight than anticipated, and the snowballs being exchanged on the other side of the room faded into the background as Apple Bloom focused on keeping her footing.

She ducked a swipe and lunged with a quick jab of her own. The colt blocked her strike and smoothly transitioned into a roundhouse kick directed at her head. Apple Bloom hopped backwards, and soon found her back pressed against a large gingerbread wardrobe. The colt didn't let up the pressure and kept hammering her with strikes. Apple Bloom blocked and parried, but when she saw him winding up for a haymaker punch, she quickly juked to the side. His forehoof passed within inches of Apple Bloom's skull, only to smash straight through the wardrobe door in a cloud of gingerbread fragments.

Apple Bloom took advantage of the guard's momentary entrapment and managed to land several body blows before he tore his foreleg free, taking half the door with it. The guard swung again, but he was tired and threw himself off balance. Apple Bloom parried his strike and quickly kicked low with her hind hoof. The blow tripped the guard up and he sprawled onto his face on the icy floor.

In the split second it took the guard to get up, Apple Bloom reached into the cabinet for something, anything she could use to end the fight. When the guard rose to face her, she was holding a candy cane the size of a baseball bat.

"Chew on this."

Smack!

The guard spun a full 360 from the impact before collapsing in a tangle on the floor. Apple Bloom dropped the candy cane with an echoing clatter and looked to see how her friend was doing.

Only three guards remained, and one of them was being used as an equine shield by Scootaloo. The other two guards were shifting around, trying to find an opening, but Scootaloo wasn't about to give them the opportunity. Without warning, she pushed the guard she was holding forward. Before he could regain his footing, Scootaloo spun and bucked him hard towards his allies. All three went down in a sprawling pony pile, and Scootaloo wasted no time in finishing them off with three rapid snowballs.

Apple Bloom trotted over to her friend. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Scootaloo replied. "You? Looked like a bit of a nasty fight you had going there."

Apple Bloom rubbed her forelegs where they ached a bit from blocking so many hits, but then she smirked. "Yeah, well, you should see the other guy."

The two friends chuckled, but were soon interrupted by slow clapping. Twist emerged from a door on the other side of the room, clapping her forehooves together slowly, mockingly.

"Motht imprethive…" She said darkly. "It almotht maketh me thad I thtill have to dethtroy you mythef."

Scootaloo glared. "I do not know what you just said… but I'm gonna make you regret it!"

"Thtop failing to underthtand me!" Twist whipped out dual snowballs and seethed through a fiery glare.

"Whoa! She's packin' heat!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

Apple Bloom blinked. "…what?"

"Just out her already. I'm bored with this one."

"Alright." Apple Bloom picked up a snowball and flung it at Twist. To both Crusaders' surprise, Twist threw her own snowball in response, and actually hit Apple Bloom's projectile out of the air.

The room was silent for several moments.

"That… was… awesome!" Scootaloo grinned widely. "Do it again!"

"Ahah!" Twist shouted. "You've underethtimated my proweth! My thkills are—"

Apple Bloom threw another snowball. Twist flinched, but quickly recovered and intercepted the second snowball as easily as she had the first.

"Thee!? I am thupreme!" Twist held up both hooves in celebration.

Both hooves that were completely without snowballs.

Apple Bloom threw another snowball.

"Gah!" Twist took the snowball in the chest and fell over backwards. Her legs twitched in the air like those of a dying spider, and then went still.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom gazed sadly at the pony that they once called friend.

"I'm sure she only wanted what was right and good," Scootaloo said sadly. "But in the end… her heart was… twisted."

"That was terrible."

"I'm sorry."

Ave Imperator, morituri te salutant

"So this is the last lieutenant, huh?" Apple Bloom asked as they trotted through the icy woods towards their destination.

"Yeah," Scootaloo responded quietly. "Let's take this one carefully, alright? We're so close to the end now."

"Don't worry about it. We've got this. Ain't nothin' they can throw at us we can't handle."

Scootaloo sighed. "I've just got a really bad feeling about this…"

"Where're the guards?" Apple Bloom whispered to the other Crusader as the two of them crouched in the treeline.

The fortress was up ahead, but they hadn't seen a single other pony nearby. The fortress itself was gigantic, and circular in shape. The walls were completely barren of windows, but the large gates remained open and unguarded.

"I dunno," Scootaloo responded carefully, "but I smell a trap."

Apple Bloom nodded. "What d'you suppose we do about it?"

Scootaloo paused momentarily. "Spring it?"

"Alright."

Both of them rose to their hooves and began trotting towards the castle entrance. Nopony challenged their approach, and even the entire forest remained completely silent save for the crunching of the Crusaders' hooves on the snow.

They paused outside the yawning gate and turned to face each other.

"No beatin' around the bush this time," Apple Bloom said simply.

"Right," Scootaloo agreed. "Let's just run in there, out whoever owns this place, and move on." She smirked. "Then we take out Diamond Tiara."

Apple Bloom paused, her eyes half-lidded. "Is there any chance that this is actually going to go that smoothly?"

"Not even slightly."

"Cool. Ready?"

"Always."

They leapt through the archway with snowballs in hoof. To nopony's surprise, a heavy gate of thick ice rolled down behind them with a loud clang. The Crusaders didn't even flinch, instead taking the time to examine the arena they found themselves in.

Arena was definitely the right word for it. The space was wide, flat, and circular. It was surrounded on all sides by high walls and empty bleachers. There was no ceiling, leaving the area open to the cloudy sky above. Several more, smaller gates let to the interior of the castle, but all of them were currently closed. At first it seemed as if nopony else was there, until the Crusaders spotted a lone figure standing on a raised platform in the middle of the bleachers.

They were an earth pony filly with a blue coat and an even darker blue mane. They had bright purple eyes, and a roguish manestyle.

"Hello, old friends. So sorry it had to come to this, but The Conglomerate's offer was simply too good to refuse."

The Crusaders blinked in mutual confusion.

"Uh…" Scootaloo raised a hoof. "Do we know you?"

The blue pony twitched. "It's me, Archer!"

Apple Bloom squinted. "Who?"

"I'm in your class!"

"Are you sure?"

Archer pointed at Apple Bloom, glaring. "I sit next to you sometimes! We've spoken!"

"Not… ringin' any bells. How 'bout you, Scoots?"

"I dunno." Scootaloo tapped her chin in thought. "She looks awfully familiar…"

Archer grinned in satisfaction. "Aha! I knew you'd remember! All those times we've talked, or hung out during recess, or at my birthday party last June—"

"Wait!" Scootaloo cut her off. "I know why you look familiar! You stole my manestyle!"

"…what?" Archer tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah! That's totally my style! What the hay?!"

"It's a common style!"

"Is not!"

Apple Bloom looked between the two arguing ponies carefully. Sure enough, their manes matched to a T. It was almost uncanny how identical they looked in that way. Really, if she just imagined Scootaloo dipped in blue paint…

Apple Bloom shuddered. Yeah, that was weird. She decided it would be best to end this and move on sooner rather than later.

While the two other fillies kept arguing, Apple Bloom scooped up a ball of snow. She took aim at the ranting form of Archer up in the bleachers, and then let fly.

"Whoa, jeeze!" Archer ducked low, narrowly avoiding the snowy projectile.

The room fell into silence. Two sets of eyes stared at Apple Bloom while she smiled sheepishly.

"Uh… sorry, but can we get to the fightin' part. I wanna get a move on."

Archer took a moment to recompose herself, then cleared her throat. "Ahem, yes, you're right. I suppose we should get things going."

"Right!" Scootaloo shook her forehoof threateningly. "Come on down here so we can pummel you!"

"As tempting as that offer is," Archer deadpanned. "Allow me to present my counter-offer." She gestured widely around them. "Look around, you two. See where you are?"

The Crusaders did so. They tensed as they noticed movement in the darkness behind the many gates surrounding them. There wasn't much in the way of cover in the wide room, merely a couple of tall pillars in the center of the room. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo inched towards those pillars slowly, suddenly desperate for any sort of protection they could get.

"That's right." Archer chuckled maniacally. "Welcome… to the arena!" She smirked down at her two captives and offered a mocking wink. "Good luck! Have fun!"

Then the gates opened. The Crusaders barely had time to spring into motion as the air was filled with flying snowballs. Ponies poured out into the arena in droves, flinging snowballs left and right with wild abandon. The Crusaders couldn't tell if they were all Conglomerites, or if they had all been captured too and forced to fight for Archer's amusement.

It made no difference. These ponies stood between them and their target, and that meant one thing. They had to be taken out.

Scootaloo slid on her knees towards a group of colts, dodging underneath several projectiles. She forward-flipped and landed in the middle of the group, then offered up a wild smirk.

"Let's dance!"

She kicked off and spun rapidly on one foreleg. Her hind legs swung out and knocked every one of the colts off their hooves. When Scootaloo's spin came to a skidding stop, she was surrounded by a circle of writhing and groaning bodies. She made quick work of them with the available snow and then sprung towards the next group.

Apple Bloom jumped over a leg sweep and supermare punched her opponent directly in the forehead. They collapsed, down for the count, but Apple Bloom was already spinning to block an incoming roundhouse. She caught the attacking filly's leg in her forehooves and smirked as the filly gulped nervously. Apple Bloom planted her hind hooves and swung the shrieking filly around her like a club. Three goons who'd been trying to get the drop on the Crusader were knocked aside like bowling pins and ended up sprawled in a pony pile on the floor. Apple Bloom released the filly and sent her skidding and sobbing across the ice to impact with the far wall.

"That's how you dosey-doe!" Apple Bloom stood there, beaming proudly.

A snowball skimmed the top of her ear.

"Whoa, nelly!" She quickly jumped back into the fight.

Scootaloo, meanwhile, was momentarily ducking for cover behind one of the snow pillars in the middle of the arena. Countless snowballs impacted on the other side while Scootaloo fashioned several of her own. Eventually, the barrage died down, but Scootaloo knew they weren't completely out of snowballs. She desperately wracked her brain for any way out of there… and then she looked up. Scootaloo smirked.

The large group of goons on the other side of the pillar was waiting patiently. They fidgeted, each grasping desperately to their snowballs and watching the pillar with wide eyes. Any moment now, she would pop out and they would finish her off. They just had to wait. They waited, and waited, and waited. At least a full minute passed, and the henchponies were starting to get antsy. Unfortunately for them, things were just about to get exciting.

"Merry Hearth's Warming!" The cheerful shout drew the shocked attention of the group of henchponies. They slowly turned their gazes upwards to see Scootaloo standing on top of the snow pillar, one snowball in each hoof.

Scootaloo jumped from the top of the pillar and straight towards the petrified goons. Her long brown cloak billowed behind her as she tossed two snowballs from mid-air. Two henchponies went down with snow-covered faces, and then Scootaloo landed among them.

"And a happy new year!"

She snatched two snowballs out of their hooves before the colts could blink, and immediately uppercutted one with his own snowball. She then turned and flung the other point-blank into the face of another henchcolt while at the same time spinning into a reverse roundhouse that caught yet another goon in the jaw. Scootaloo didn't stop there. She flowed with uncanny grace between the flailing colts and fillies, kicking and punching and striking them with snowballs. One filly managed to take a swing, but Scootaloo caught the blow and used the momentum to fling the hapless filly over her shoulder and into the face of another goon. As those two went down in a groaning heap, Scootaloo was already flinging two snowballs into the backs of colts who'd tried to flee the scene. The two colts went down face first and skidded to a stop, and Scootaloo pumped a hoof in celebration.

Apple Bloom was dealing with the last couple of remaining fighters. She parried one blow, but before she could retaliate the other pony moved in and pressed her back further. She was on the defensive, blocking and dodging and waiting for an opening that didn't seem to be coming any time soon.

"Augh!" Apple Bloom yelped as her hoof slipped on a patch of ice. She fell back onto her haunches and tried to scoot away from the approaching pair of goons.

Her foes smirked evilly and took step after agonizingly slow step towards her. They had her now. There was no way she could win from this position. She was out for sure.

Paff!

The henchpony on the left suddenly toppled forward, the back of his head decorated by a large splash of white snow.

"What the hay?!" The other henchpony turned to face Scootaloo, who was standing a little ways behind them. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that, filly!"

Scootaloo only smiled. While the henchpony was distracted staring at her, he completely failed to notice Apple Bloom rising up behind him with a snowball in each hoof.

"Dude," Scootaloo said slowly. "You need to chill out."

Wham!

Apple Bloom brought one hoof down on each side of his head. The colt cried out and collapsed to the floor with his entire head hidden by a shell of snow.

"Booyah!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "That was totally awesome! Why couldn't all the forts be like this?"

Apple Bloom shook her head and exhaled heavily. "I don't know 'bout you, but I'm pretty dang tired after all that. Don't think I could'a handled four arenas."

"Pffft!" Scootaloo waved a hoof. "Not with that attitude! Now c'mon, let's go pummel that blue pony!"

"The name is Archer!" A furious voice from up in the bleachers froze the two Crusaders in place.

"Oh yeah," Scootaloo muttered. "Forgot she was right up there."

"Seriously!" Archer cried wildly. "We've known each other for years! Scootaloo, I worked with you on that big science project last week! We spent the whole week together!"

Scootaloo shrugged. "I think I would remember something like that. I'm known for my perfect memory."

"You forgot Sweetie Belle's birthday two weeks ago…" Apple Bloom mumbled.

"Who?"

"Enough!" Archer screamed. "I was going to give you the honour of facing me in personal combat, but now I don't think you deserve that."

"Oh come on!" Scootaloo spread her forehooves wide. "Are you not entertained?"

Archer's eye twitched. "I'll be a whole lot more entertained when the both of you are out!" She turned and rang a large bell hanging behind her.

At the signal, every gate in the arena opened up and let loose a flood of balaclava-wearing colts and fillies. There was no chaos or disorganization this time. These ponies were all Conglomerites, and they were all clearly working together against the two Crusaders.

Apple Bloom's ears folded. "Oh…"

"Fine!" Archer held up a hoof, causing all of the henchponies to halt where they were. "You want fair? I'll give you one more chance. All you have to do is answer one little question, and I'll let you fight me." She paused for dramatic effect. "What is my friggin' name?"

"Crap!" Apple Bloom hissed. "I tuned out most of her monologuing, but I'm pretty sure she mentioned it at least once. Did you catch it?"

Scootaloo shook her head. "Nah, I don't think I've ever seen this filly before in my life."

"You were at my birthday party!"

The Crusaders ignored the exasperated shout and continued their hushed conference. "What if we just guess?" Scootaloo said with a raised eyebrow.

Apple Bloom rubbed her forehead. "The chances of that working are one in a million at best."

Scootaloo grinned. "So you're saying there's a chance!"

"What? No!"

But Apple Bloom's protests fell on deaf ears. Scootaloo stepped back and looked up to the fuming blue pony in the bleachers. "We have your answer!"

"Really?" Archer smiled genuinely. "Oh, what a relief."

"Your name…" Scootaloo paused, tapping her chin. Finally, after several seconds of thought, she closed her eyes and smilingly declared, "is Skippy!"

Archer simply stared. "You know what? Just out 'em. I'm going back inside." With a dismissive wave of her hoof, Archer turned and trotted through a door to the interior of the castle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tensed. They quickly moved to stand back to back, slowly rotating to keep an eye on as much of the massive horde as possible.

"What the hay, Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo hissed. "You said that would work!"

"I didn't even slightly say that! You have really selective hearing, ya know that?"

"It's alright, I forgive you. Let's just focus on getting out of here without getting out, 'kay?"

"Whatever," Apple Bloom grumbled.

"That's the spirit!"

One henchpony got brave and lunged towards Scootaloo. The pegasus filly shouted, "Heads up!" and jumped straight up to avoid her attacker. Apple Bloom didn't even turn around, and blindly bucked with her rear hooves. She felt them connect with something and heard a startled yelp as the henchpony was sent careening across the ice, back into the crowd.

Scootaloo landed with a grin. "That was really cool, but we can't keep this up all day. We gotta get out of here."

"Yeah?" Apple Bloom asked mockingly. "And just how d'ya propose we go about that?"

The Crusaders paused their conversation to duck a pair of thrown snowballs. The snowballs sailed over their heads and ended up striking two Conglomerites instead. The rest of the goons suddenly looked a little more nervous about throwing projectiles.

As they continued rotating in place, Scootaloo harshy whispered, "Through the gate, duh!"

"Huh!?" Apple Bloom blinked and glanced up. Sure enough, every gate that had opened to admit the horde of henchponies was still open. There was an ocean of enemies between them and every exit, but it was better than nothing.

"Well look at that," Apple Bloom muttered. "Not sure how I missed that."

Scootaloo breathed deeply. "We're gonna have to make a break for it. Just… just don't stop for nothing, okay? As long as one of us makes it to the door, we can finish this thing."

"Uh… alright," Apple Bloom mumbled. "What're you plannin', Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo smirked. "Something awesome! Now RUN!"

The both moved at once towards the same door. Scootaloo scooped up a pair of snowballs and flung them into the crowd ahead of them. Two henchponies were struck, and more still dove aside to dodge. The attack created a small opening for the Crusaders to sprint through.

For the first few moments, it really seemed like they were going to make it. They dodged between the horde and juked around flying snowballs in their mad dash for the gate. Then Apple Bloom noticed the crowd building up on either side of them. They couldn't outrun it. The horde was closing in around them like a noose, and it would be pulled tight well before they reached the gate.

"Scoots! We're not gonna make it!"

Scootaloo glanced around frantically, the hood of her cloak flapping behind her mane. "You're right!" she shouted back. "We're not!"

Apple Bloom's mouth dropped open in shock as Scootaloo suddenly veered off to the left.

"What're you doin'!?"

"I told you!" Scootaloo whooped. "Something awesome!"

The young pegasus reached the surrounding crowd and dove in hooves-first. At least three goons collapsed before her, and she didn't stop there. She flipped and rolled and kicked wildly, a veritable living tornado of destruction let loose into the middle of the crowd.

Suddenly, the henchponies that had been trying to surround Apple Bloom decided they had a much bigger threat to deal with. Almost all of them broke off to cluster around the whirling ball of orange fur, leaving Apple Bloom with little standing between her and the gate.

Apple Bloom dodged a snowball thrown by one of only two remaining defenders, then scooped up one of her own and fed it to the goon without slowing down. The last goon turned and tried to flee through the gate, but Apple Bloom leaned down and scooped up another hoofful of snow before leaping into the air and smashing it directly against the back of the henchpony's head. The henchpony slid across the icy floor and crumpled against the wall next to the gate at the exact same moment that Apple Bloom rushed though the archway.

She skidded to a stop in the dim interior, pausing to catch her breath in deep, heaving gasps. As she struggled to stay on her hooves, she turned around to see if she could catch any sign of Scootaloo. The arena was a mess of flailing hooves and flying snowballs. The sounds of fighting echoed into the dark hall Apple Bloom found herself in, but neither hide nor tail of her friend could be seen through the madness outside.

"C'mon, Scoots. C'mon, Scoots…" Apple Bloom whispered desperately.

Finally, an orange and brown shape burst from the crowd, just barely scraping past a multitude of grasping hooves. Scootaloo landed in a roll and quickly broke into a sprint towards the gate. She paused to spin around and chuck one last snowball into the crowd, successfully tripping up a henchpony in the front and causing a train-wreck of tripping ponies to pile up behind her.

"Yes!" Apple Bloom cheered, pumping a hoof.

Scootaloo grinned like a madmare as she dashed the final few meters towards the door. The crowd of ponies behind her were still pulling themselves back together. The Crusaders had plenty of time to make themselves scarce before the horde came after them. Apple Bloom's grin almost perfectly mirrored her feathered friend's.

Until the gate closed.

"Waugh!" Scootaloo skidded to a halt mere inches before mashing her face into the unyielding bars of ice.

"Scoots!" Apple Bloom shouted, immediately lunging forward to pull fruitlessly on the gate. "C'mon! Help me! We gotta lift this thing!"

Scootaloo kept silent. She sat down on her haunches and slowly held a hoof up to the heavy gate. Each bar was as thick around as her foreleg. The pegasus released a long sigh and turned her gaze down to the floor.

"Why aren't you helping!?" Apple Bloom half-sobbed.

Scootaloo raised her head to meet Apple Bloom's pleading gaze. The orange filly's eyes shone with an inner fire. "Apple Bloom, you need to go."

"Wh-what?!"

"Get out of here and finish this. Go out Snippy or whatever her name is, then go out Diamond Tiara, then get the prize!" She frowned and banged a hoof on the ice bars. "Finish this! Don't make what Sweetie and I did be for nothing!"

"I don't wanna leave you…"

Scootaloo chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't really want you to leave me either, but The Conglomerization needs to be stopped."

"The Conglomerate."

"Whatever."

Apple Bloom stumbled backwards from the gate on shaking hooves. "O-Okay. I'll… I'll finish what y'all started."

Scootaloo's frown morphed into a calm smile. "Good." She sighed. "I guess that makes this worth it." She reached a hoof through the bars and held it out towards Apple Bloom. "One last time?"

Apple Bloom sniffled, but held her hoof over Scootaloo's. "Not the same with just two."

Scootaloo snorted. "Yeah? Well good luck doing it by yourself."

Apple Bloom choked back a sob and turned to go.

"Hey," Scootaloo called out. "I'll see you again."

"Yeah," Apple Bloom nodded. "Someday."

"No, like, tomorrow. At school."

"Oh yeah…"

Then Apple Bloom trotted away into the dark halls. Scootaloo watched her friend go, let out one last sigh, then steeled herself and turned around slowly. The henchponies were finally thundering towards her from across the arena, and she set her hooves in a wide stance to meet them. The horde rumbled to a stop just a few meters away, and waited.

In the brief pause that followed, Scootaloo started speaking. "Looks like this is it, eh?" She shifted her weight on her hooves, scanning the dense crowd through narrowed eyelids. "Last dance of the night, boys."

Fwoosh!

Scootaloo threw off her heavy brown cloak with a flourish, revealing more than a dozen pre-formed snowballs stored in bandoliers across her chest. Faster than a blink, two of those snowballs were in her hooves.

"Let's tango."

By the time the sounds of combat echoed through the empty halls, Apple Bloom had left the arena gate well behind her. She still winced at every muffled thud or scream, but did her best to just ignore the sounds and focus on her current task. Fortunately, the castle seemed to be entirely empty. It seemed that every goon under Archer's command was out in that arena.

The lack of windows made the hallways dim. A few torches burned here or there, casting a long, spindly shadow behind Apple Bloom as she trotted along in silence. She followed the hall until finding a side door that led to an upwards staircase. The last place they had seen Archer was in the upper bleachers, so Apple Bloom followed the staircase up.

On the second floor, she followed the hallway around the whole castle. A few doors led into the bleachers above the arena, but she knew Archer wouldn't be there anymore. Besides, the arena had fallen completely silent by that point, and Apple Bloom didn't dare look upon the scene it surely contained.

At long last, Apple Bloom found a door on the other side of the hall. This door would lead to the exterior of the massive fortress. Apple Bloom carefully formed a fresh snowball, and then stepped through the door.

Archer was waiting for her, but not in the way Apple Bloom had expected. Archer was unarmed, and wasn't even facing Apple Bloom. The door had led out to an open balcony, and Archer was standing on her hind hooves with her forelegs propped against the railing. The blue pony continued gazing out over the land, but a twitch of her ears made it clear she'd realized Apple Bloom's presence.

"It's over," Apple Bloom stated with finality.

"Et tu, Apple Bloom?" Archer muttered sadly as she finally turned around. She dropped back to all fours and gazed forlornly into Apple Bloom's eyes.

"Don't try and pull that on me!" Apple Bloom snarled. "Y'all chose The Conglomerate over your own freedom! Y'all outed one of my best friends!"

"I did what I had to do, Apple Bloom." Archer shook her head sadly. "If you had any sense, you'd have done the same. You joined up with a ragtag band of rebels that were already halfway down the path to defeat. You jumped headfirst onto a sinking ship, while I simply chose the higher ground."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "It ain't business! I joined my friends because that's what friends do! We stick by each other's sides, even if it ain't the winning side."

Archer squinted curiously at Apple Bloom for several moments before answering. "I… suppose I can see where you're coming from. Maybe I was wrong after all." She sighed. "You won't find it easy to get to Diamond Tiara, even with all of us out of the way."

"Few things worth doing are ever easy."

"If you want a tip, go in fighting. It's the last thing Diamond expects. She doesn't like to operate with sheer violence, not personally. She'll be expecting some sort of subterfuge. Kicking in her front door might just earn you the element of surprise."

Apple Bloom hesitated, but eventually responded, "Thanks, I guess…" She took a step towards Archer, causing the other pony to back up until she was pressed against the railing. "You know I still gotta take you out. For Scootaloo."

Archer nodded slowly. "Understandable."

"For what it's worth," Apple Bloom smirked. "We who are about to win salute you."

Whap!

The snowball struck Archer square in the chest, and the force propelled her back over the railing. She didn't cry out, and tumbled silently through the air before landing on the snow below with a muffled whump.

"Oh, jeeze!" Apple Bloom scrambled over to the railing and shouted down, "Y'alright!?"

"Yeah, I'm good!" came the weak reply. "I'm just gonna… lay here for a while. See you at school tomorrow though."

"Alright! See ya later!" Apple Bloom turned and trotted back towards the fortress exit.

Final Fight

Diamond Tiara's 'snow fort', to use the term loosely, was easy enough to spot. The massive skyscraper stretched towards the clouds, a veritable monstrosity of ice and snow. The entire surrounding area was covered in bunkers and fortifications, but not a single defending pony could be seen.

Apple Bloom smirked in satisfaction. Clearly, outing the lieutenants had done something. Diamond Tiara was losing control of her forces, and she didn't even have enough left to occupy her defensive positions.

Apple Bloom strolled through abandoned defenses until she reached the front door of the building. She paused outside, unsure of how exactly to proceed. She thought of how her friends would handle it, and the image of exploding doors was all that came to mind. Well, that blue pony had suggested it.

Apple Bloom turned and wound up her hind legs. "Knock knock."

Wham!

She hit the door with all the force that years of junior applebucking could generate. Debris scattered across the room, and a couple bits of ice even flew fast enough to embed themselves in the far wall.

Apple Bloom turned back around and trotted inside. Several colts and fillies in business suits were working at paper-covered desks, and all of them turned to stare wide-eyed at the intruder. None of them looked quite as utterly terrified as the filly behind the receptionist's desk.

"Uh… h-hello!" The little unicorn raised a trembling hoof in greeting. "D-Do you h-have an… appointment?"

Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Oh gosh, did I forget to call ahead? Well if you'll be so kind as to call Diamond Tiara and let her know that her three o'clock is here. It should be listed under 'ass-kicking'!"

Before the filly could even blink, Apple Bloom had whipped out a pair of snowballs. One went straight into the receptionist's face, and she tumbled backwards in her chair with a startled scream. The other snowball was flung directly into the nearest suit-wearing colt. The colt crumpled onto his desk with a yelp while Apple Bloom was already jumping through the air towards her next target.

She landed directly in front of a startled worker and took a swing. He managed to duck just in time, and retaliated with a wide punch. Apple Bloom caught the punch and used the momentum to swing the colt in a wide circle and smash him into his own desk. The ice desk shattered at the impact, and the colt collapsed in the rubble, groaning.

By then, the rest of the workers had managed to form snowballs and took aim at their attacker. Apple Bloom yelped and dove behind a random desk just as the projectiles started to fly. She quickly began forming her own and returning fire. One pony went down, and then another fell to one of Apple Bloom's well placed throws.

A pegasus colt tried to get a high angle with his barely developed wings, but Apple Bloom saw him flying up and took a shot. He didn't have the agility to dodge, and received a snowball directly to the side of the head. The colt went careening out of control and spiraled into a cluster of his allies. They all went down in a sprawling tangle of limbs and pain.

"Dang!" Apple Bloom smirked. "That's gotta be some sorta combo!"

A snowball narrowly missed her head, impacting a desk and causing a small explosion of paperwork. Apple Bloom ducked down again and resumed her careful return fire. The enemy forces dwindled as the fight continued, and soon Apple Bloom was down to a couple stubborn Conglomerites. They kept dodging everything she threw at them, and eventually Apple Bloom had enough.

With a low growl in the back of her throat, she picked up two snowballs and dove from cover. Her opponents instantly opened fire on her, but Apple Bloom ducked and weaved between the desks as she sprinted towards the pair. They stood on the very far end of the room, a few feet behind a desk. Apple Bloom rolled and slid and miraculously avoided everything they launched her way.

When she finally reached the other end of the room in a dead sprint, Apple Bloom didn't slow down. Instead she headed straight for the desk in front of her opponents and launched off it with a flying leap.

"Dodge this!"

With a defying shout, she flew through the air between the two suited ponies and swung one snowball-filled hoof directly into the face of each. They were dragged down to the ground by her strong forelegs, and slammed into the floor with enough force to rattle every desk in the room.

Apple Bloom sat there, panting. After several deep breaths, she finally stood up and brushed herself off.

"Sorry, y'all, but I gotta get going. I've got a meeting on the top floor." She trotted towards the elevator and pressed the wall button. Nothing happened. Apple Bloom growled in frustration and punched the button rapidly, but to no avail.

She glanced up at the dial above the elevator doors and noted that the needle pointed to the three.

"Alright, so the elevator's on the third floor." She shrugged and trotted over to the stairs.

She hopped up the staircase to the second floor. Unfortunately, they didn't continue up to the third floor directly. Due to some grossly contrived construction work, she would have to enter the second floor first to find the stairs to the third floor.

"It's never easy…" Apple Bloom grumbled as she turned and prepared to buck the door down. She smirked, her eyes glinting in the dimness of the stairwell. "'Course, few things worth doing ever are."

The door exploded inwards as easily as the last one had. A few suited ponies sitting at desks nearby had to shield their faces as they were showered in flying debris. Apple Bloom leapt through the door and landed in a fighting stance.

Apple Bloom glanced around the room. It appeared much the same as the last one had. Rows upon rows of ice-made desks with colts and fillies dressed in business suits sitting over stacks of paperwork.

"Howdy!" Apple Bloom smirked. "Y'all wouldn't happen to know where El Presidente's office is, would ya? I've got a snowball I'm s'posed to deliver and I'd like to get that done as soon as possible."

Every pony in the room slowly and deliberately stood from their desks. As Apple Bloom watched through narrowed eyes, each and every one of them reached under their desk and withdrew a long, curved katana made of ice.

Apple Bloom blinked. "That's new."

"Haaaugh!" The nearest colt ran towards Apple Bloom and swung wildly. Apple Bloom dodged to the side and kicked him in the side of the head. As he went sprawling, his sword clattered to the ground noisily. Apple Bloom swiftly snatched it up and stood at the ready.

"Right then." She smirked. "Guess that evens things out a little. Let's get started."

Rather than wait for an attack, Apple Bloom leapt at the nearest suited pony. He moved to block, but Apple Bloom swept his legs in a low kick. As he fell to the ground, she grabbed a hoofful of snow out of the floor and smashed it into his face.

Two colts lunged at her with battlecries. Apple Bloom hopped backwards just in time to feel the disturbed air as one sword passed within millimeters of her face. She juked to the side, parried another swing, and then struck fast and quick at one of the colts. He went down, writhing and clutching his bruised stomach, while the remaining colt pressed the assault.

Apple Bloom parried, blocked, and deflected strike after strike. Her katana was a blur of movement intercepting every attack that the colt made. The colt began to growl in frustration, making wilder and wilder swings. Finally, he took two steps backwards and leapt towards her in a massive flying kick. Apple Bloom slid forward on the ground, passing under the attack and winding up behind the colt when he landed.

Not even giving him a chance to catch his bearings, Apple Bloom swung her weapon and smacked him in the back of the head. The colt sprawled out on the floor, twitching.

Finally, the rest of the room began to attack en masse. A colt tried to running-tackle Apple Bloom, but she jumped into the air and he passed beneath her ineffectually. As that colt inadvertently barrelled into an approaching group of his comrades, still more were moving in for the attack. Apple Bloom spun in place, parrying blows from all directions.

She struck out at any opportunity, managing to out a suited pony with almost every strike she made. A colt swung in a vicious vertical arc towards her, but Apple Bloom sidestepped and the attack ended up smashing a desk in two and sending a storm of looseleaf paper into the air. One filly back away from the carnage and quickly fashioned a snowball. She waited patiently until an opening appeared, and then flung the snowball desperately at Apple Bloom's swiftly moving form.

Time seemed to slow as Apple Bloom saw the attack coming. She quickly deflected a swinging sword, and then set her rear hooves firmly. Her eyes locked on the incoming snowy projectile, and she swung in a lightning fast vertical line. Her strike was timed perfectly, and managed to bisect the snowball into equal halves. The two halves passed by on either side of her head —so close she could feel the cold air touch her ears— and struck a pair of Conglomerate ponies out of the crowd standing around her.

Everypony froze. The suited ponies stared in awestruck silence at the pony in their midst. Apple Bloom merely smirked and shifted the grip on her katana.

"Y'all never really had a chance, did'ja?"

Then she spun. Apple Bloom swung her newly acquired sword in a wide arc as she spun a full 360 degrees on her hind hooves. The suited ponies encircling her shrieked in surprise and pain as every last one of them was batted away. They all collapsed onto the ground, groaning in pain and nursing bruises where the ice had hit them.

Apple Bloom's sword was cracked and chipping, and at one little tap from her hooves, the thing fell to icy pieces. She shrugged, scooped up a snowball, and slowly approached the terrified, snowball-throwing filly who'd been standing off to the side.

"Wh-Who are you!?" the filly stammered.

Apple Bloom grinned wickedly. "You can call me Miss Snowball, and this is my friend," she hefted her weapon, "who is also a snowball."

The filly blinked. "That… doesn't make any—"

Paff!

Apple Bloom stood outside the door to the third floor, breathing deeply. She held a snowball in each hoof, and an ice katana in her mouth.

"Alright," she muttered around the hilt of the sword. "Once more, with feeling."

She smashed through the door with her shoulder, coming into a skidding stop amid a cloud of wreckage. Apple Bloom grinned.

"Here's Bloomy!"

She didn't give them a chance to prepare this time. Both snowballs flew from her hooves and instantly dispatched two suited colts. She lunged forward and smacked a filly upside the head with her sword, sending the filly flipping through the air until she landed with a crash right through somepony's desk. A line of ponies at one end of the room started throwing snowballs, and Apple Bloom frantically dodged and jumped behind a desk. The incoming fire didn't let up, and Apple Bloom could see goons sneaking around on either side. She couldn't afford to just sit there.

Finally, an idea struck her. Apple Bloom reached up with a grunt of effort and flipped the desk she was hiding behind so it formed a proper wall. Then she reared up on her forehooves and cocked her hind legs.

"Y'all ever go bowling?"

She grunted and bucked the desk with all her might. The kick sent it sliding across the ice floor straight towards the line of snow-flinging ponies. They yelped and tried to jump out of the way, but most of them were sent flying by the heavy furniture. Between the ones that had been taken out, and the ones too busy desperately leaping out of the way, the assault of snowballs completely stopped.

"Strike!"

Apple Bloom sprinted towards the nearest group of suited foals. She ducked a high swing and uppercutted a colt with her katana. One lucky Conglomerite managed to catch her in the back of the leg with his own sword, and Apple Bloom stumbled with a yelp of pain. Before they could press their momentary advantage, Apple Bloom spun around with a snarl and struck down at least three goons in one swing.

She hopped backwards to gain some breathing room and held off their advance with hastily formed snowballs. As soon as the pain in her leg had become manageable, Apple Bloom leapt back into the fight. She flipped over a Conglomerite, smacking him in the back of the head as she did so, and landed in a low crouch between two more. Faster than they could blink, she lashed out with her sword in one direction and her hind hoof in the other. Both goons went flying and landing on the floor, groaning.

Three more goons moved in to attack. Apple Bloom parried one strike, jumped over another, but took a glancing blow in the shoulder. She gritted her teeth through the pain and struck right back. In three swift movements, all three goons were laid out on the floor.

One last suited pony remained. Apple Bloom glared at him for several seconds, then took a single step in his direction. That was all it took for the colt to scream and sprint out the door and down the stairs.

Apple Bloom grinned a predatory grin and walked over to a large ice window overlooking the front of the building. She struck the window with her katana, shattering it and causing the high winds to buffet her mane and tail like flags. Squinting against the wind, Apple Bloom scooped up some snow and carefully formed a perfect snowball. Then she waited.

She didn't have to wait long. Moments later, a hyperventilating figure came bursting out the front doors to the building and began running down the road away from the place. Apple Bloom smirked, cocked her foreleg back, breathed two deep breaths, and threw.

The colt didn't see it coming. The perfectly aimed shot hit him squarely between the ears and sent him sliding face first down the road in a heap of confusion and pain.

"Hah!" Apple Bloom beamed and pumped a hoof. "That one's for Scoots!"

She turned and hobbled tiredly towards the elevator. Her knee and shoulder ached, and she was dead tired, but she only had one fight left. Not that she expected Diamond Tiara to put up much of a fight. Apple Bloom shakily reached a hoof up and pressed the elevator button.

Ding.

"Oh."

Wham!

Apple Bloom was sent flying across the room with the force of a powerful buck. She careened through the air and smashed right though an ice desk before finally skidding to a stop amid the rubble.

She stared dazedly up at the ceiling for several seconds. "…ow."

The sound of a heavy hoofstep knocked her back to her senses. Apple Bloom struggled back to her hooves with a groan of pain and looked across the room. Her attacker was just stepping out of the elevator that he'd been waiting in. He was big, at least a whole year older than Apple Bloom, and he was clad from head to hoof in a set of heavy black armour plates. Even his face was hidden behind a helmet with a reflective grey visor.

"Okay now," Apple Bloom shook her head incredulously, "this is just getting silly!"

The armoured brute let out a warcry, distorted by his helmet, and thundered across the room towards Apple Bloom. He smashed straight through desk after desk on his warpath like they were nothing, and Apple Bloom had no desire to find out what would happen if he did the same to her.

She yelped and jumped to the side, barely avoiding the barreling charge. The brute's momentum kept him going for several more meters before he could manage to stop, and Apple Bloom used the breathing space to quickly snatch up a fresh katana from one of the downed henchponies.

The brute turned around slowly and prepared to charge again, but Apple Bloom didn't give him the chance. Fast as her injuries would allow, she sprinted across the room and leapt towards him. She swung the katana with all her might in one powerful blow, striking the brute squarely in the side of the head.

The katana shattered into a million pieces. The brute didn't even flinch.

"Oh…" Apple Bloom muttered. The two stared at each other in silence for several moments. Apple Bloom glanced down at the pathetically short thing her sword had been reduced to. "Uh, I swear, this has never happened before!" She grinned sheepishly.

The brute swung an armoured forehoof at her face.

"Wuh oh!" Apple Bloom ducked frantically. The heavy hoof whistled past her head, causing her mane to ruffle in the wind of its passing.

Apple Bloom jumped back and turned to deliver a swift buck with both hind hooves. The kick that would send any normal foal flying ricocheted off the thick armour like nothing. Apple Bloom very nearly fell flat on her face before she managed to catch herself.

Something that sounded almost like laughter emanated from the walking tank, though it was muffled and distorted by the heavy helmet. Apple Bloom scrambled away desperately. The brute stood his ground contentedly, continuing to chuckle at Apple Bloom's frantic flailing.

Apple Bloom glanced around furtively for anything that could save her. Just when all hope seemed lost, she caught sight of the window she'd smashed earlier. A desperately stupid idea struck her. It was dangerous, irresponsible, and had no guarantee of success.

It was perfect.

She stopped retreating. Apple Bloom set her features into a look of fiery determination and bent her legs into a fighting stance.

The armour-encased colt tilted his head in apparent surprise at Apple Bloom's sudden bout of bravery.

It was considerably more surprised when she charged. The brute hesitated, most likely out of sheer incredulity, as Apple Bloom leapt toward him with a warcry. She used the split-second hesitation to her advantage. By the time her opponent managed a half-hearted swing, she easily slid under it and popped up behind him.

Apple Bloom quickly snatched up another ice katana from the floor and wound up like she was about to swing at a softball.

Clang!

She smashed the sword right across the colt's ears with enough force to make him stagger even in his armoured suit. The brute shook his head rapidly and emitted a frustrated growl. He spun around to face Apple Bloom, swinging wide and hard with a heavy metal forehoof at the same time.

Apple Bloom danced backwards, narrowly avoiding the attack.

"Too slow!" she chirped cheerily through a mocking grin.

The brute growled again and lunged towards her.

Apple Bloom was quickly put on the defensive. Still, her grin remained in place and she laughed and cheered as she ducked and dodged swipe after swipe.

"Come on!" she shouted as she leaped easily over a leg sweep. "You can do better than that!" Another strike lashed towards her, only to whistle harmlessly overhead as she ducked. "What, that suit cut off bloodflow to your brain or somthin'? That one wasn't even close!"

She rolled to the side while at the same time grabbing another fresh sword from the floor. As she sprung back to her hooves next to her opponent, Apple Bloom again shattered the blade against his brain bucket with headache inducing force.

"No, wait, don't tell me. It ain't the suit." She hopped back to a safe distance and shot a mischievous smirk once the brute was looking her way. "You're just naturally this stupid, ain't ya?"

The colt was well and truly fuming now. Even through the heavy suit of armour, Apple Bloom could visibly see him shaking with unfettered rage.

Everything was going wonderfully.

Just a little bit further.

Apple Bloom moved back in and dodged another hit. The attacks were getting a bit more sloppy, but also a lot more powerful. She faked to the left, instead hopping right and lunging in close before her opponent could correct.

Taking a bit more of a risk, she reared up and bang-bang-banged on the metal helmet with her forehooves. The brute swatted at her like she was a fly, finally managing to catch a grazing blow and send Apple Bloom stumbling backwards.

As her opponent stood there clasping his head between his forehooves, he angrily screamed something that sounded very much like a word Applejack had specifically instructed never to say, though it was too distorted to say with any certainty.

When his visor'd gaze snapped back up to Apple Bloom, she could swear that steam was shooting from his nostrils.

She smirked. "Perfect."

The brute charged with a scream of blind rage directly at Apple Bloom. She grinned and jumped aside just in time… only she didn't. Her bruised leg folded suddenly, and Apple Bloom found herself flopping to the ground directly in the path of a rampaging suit of solid metal armour.

She barely had time to whimper and cover her face with her forelegs before she was sent flying across the room in a screaming, spinning ball of yellow fur and pain. Apple Bloom smashed through several desks without slowing down much, then skipped several times across the hard floor before finally slamming against the wall on the far end of the room.

She laid there at the base of the wall in a crumpled, groaning heap until a heavy rumbling noise that shook the floor caused her to raise her head. Apple Bloom's blurred vision managed to make out the massive grey figure barrelling down rapidly on her position, and she let out a terrified yelp. Despite every inch of her body protesting in agonizing pain, Apple Bloom braced all four legs against the wall and kicked off at an angle as hard as she could.

The force of the kick sent her sliding across the floor just barely in time to avoid being trampled once and for all. The brute, completely lost to berserk rage by that point, slammed head-first into the wall hard enough to get his helmet stuck in the hard packed snow.

As her opponent growled and struggled to free himself, Apple Bloom used the brief reprieve to shakily stand up. One inch at a time, with terrible slowness, she eventually managed to balance precariously on all four hooves.

She felt like she could collapse at any moment, but Apple Bloom nevertheless staggered over towards one of the large ice windows that lined the exterior walls of the office floor. She stumbled right into the window and had to steady herself against it with a forehoof. After taking several seconds to catch her breath, she slowly turned around just in time to see the armoured pony tear his head free from with wall with a loud crunch.

"Hey, tall dark and clumsy!" Apple Bloom called out. The enraged colt quickly snapped his attention towards her. "Wanna give up?"

He didn't. His cry of pure, unbridled anger shook the room nearly as much as his thundering hooves as the brute charged like a bull towards Apple Bloom.

"Yeah, didn't think so," she muttered, then licked her lips. Apple Bloom shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, feeling the agonizing pain burn in every part of her. She desperately hoped that she had enough energy left for this one last thing.

The monster approached, but Apple Bloom grinned. "Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are…"

It was upon her. Apple Bloom utilized every remaining ounce of strength in her and flung herself to the side moments before impact. Her legs obeyed this time, and she flopped onto the floor mere inches away from becoming a pony pancake.

Smash!

The sound of shattering ice preceded that of a garbled scream that grew distant before ending in a muffled whump.

"…the harder they fall."

Apple Bloom let out a prolonged sigh, allowing herself a few moments to simply lay there on the floor in pain. Eventually, she managed the strength to roll onto her belly and rise up on four shuddering hooves.

She didn't bother to glance out the window, instead staggering directly over to the elevator that she had fought so hard to reach. The doors still sat open from the final guard's emergence. Apple Bloom walked in and leaned heavily against the wall. She raised one shaking hoof and carefully tapped the button for the top floor.

Ding.

The doors whirred closed and the elevator set into motion. Apple Bloom breathed in and out deeply, desperately trying to still her shaking hooves. She let out a shuddering laugh that sounded halfway like a sob, and wiped sweat and melted shards of ice from her face.

Just before the elevator reached the top floor, Apple Bloom scooped up some snow from its floor and fashioned a perfect snowball. When it ding'd one last time, she was ready.

The doors slid open to reveal an empty little reception room. A desk and a couple potted plants were the only features within the small enclosure of blank white walls. Nopony was manning the reception desk, so Apple Bloom decided to let herself in.

She crossed the room to a pair of beautifully ornate double doors. They were made of ice, but so carved and decorated that one couldn't see a thing through them. Apple Bloom paused momentarily with her hoof lifted to open them.

"If she isn't in, this will have been such a waste of my time…"

With that, she gently pushed through the double doors.

The room on the other side was just as ornate as the doors themselves. A large, lush rug covered almost the whole floor of the exceedingly long room. Large pillars of ice were placed evenly along either side, and several beautiful light fixtures hung along the length of the room. It all seemed designed to draw attention to the far end of the almost hallway-like place.

Or, rather, it was designed to draw attention to the pony who was currently occupying a simply massive throne there.

Diamond Tiara grinned a grin as wide as it was malicious as she reclined lazily on her throne of ice. Her trademark tiara was polished to a brilliant shine, and she wore a designer jacket and scarf to go along with it.

"Well well well," Diamond Tiara spoke loud enough to be heard across the massive room. "Looks like somepony managed to make it past my subordinates." She tsk'd. "I really must have hired some idiots if you managed to sneak by all of them."

"I ain't one for sneakin', actually. I outed 'em."

Diamond Tiara's plastic smile cracked slightly, but she hid it well. "Which ones?"

"All of 'em." Apple Bloom pointed a forehoof. "Guess that puts you next in line."

"Ah ah ah," Diamond Tiara made a chastising motion with her forehoof. "Now now, I think you're forgetting somepony. It wouldn't do to deny my right hand mare her turn after all."

With a far-too-wide smile, Diamond Tiara clapped her hooves twice. A dark grey earth filly with a lighter grey mane stepped out from behind one of the pillars about halfway across the room. She was dressed in a black bodysuit and had an actual katana sheathed across her back.

"Only…" Diamond Tiara went on in a deliberately slow tone. "I think you're mistaken about how this is going to go. See, it would seem it's actually your turn to go out."

At the unsaid signal, Silver Spoon smirked and unsheathed her katana. The blade was made of wood, a practice model, but it was beautifully and intricately carved. Designs of dragons curled around the blade from hilt to tip, and the wood was burnished until it practically glowed with a warm sheen. It was clearly a weapon made by a master, and probably one made for a master.

Silver Spoon chose that moment to turn that 'probably' into a 'most definitely' as she demonstrated her terrifying prowess. She backflipped into the air with impossible grace, landing perfectly silently with one forehoof outstretched. She swung the sword faster than Apple Bloom could even track, making four, five, six slashes through the air in the time it would take to blink. Silver Spoon spun on the tip of one hoof, dividing the air around her with countless lightning fast strikes. Finally, she rolled across the ground, came out in a leap, and landed back on her hooves with the sword somehow right back in its sheath.

Apple Bloom took a moment to pick her jaw up off the floor while Diamond Tiara laughed like an evil ninny.

"Any last words?" the spoiled Presidente asked.

Apple Bloom considered for a moment. "Yeah," she finally said, nodding. "Catch!"

Piff!

Silver Spoon collapsed onto the floor, Apple Bloom's elevator snowball splattered directly on her face.

Diamond Tiara stared, mouth and eyes wide. Apple Bloom stared back, grinning.

Apple Bloom began slowly trotting across the room, while Diamond leapt out of her throne and desperately scrambled to get away. She backed away from Apple Bloom's advance until her flank pressed against the cold rear wall of the room. Diamond Tiara glanced around desperately for any avenue of escape, but found none.

Mere feet away, Apple Bloom stopped. She quickly formed a snowball and held it ready, but didn't throw it just yet.

"Diamond Tiara," Apple Bloom said, prompting the terrified filly to meet her gaze. "You've been El Presidente for a long time now, but I'm afraid there's been some… restructuring in the company."

Apple Bloom couldn't help it. She winked. "You're fired."

Poff!

Epilogue: That Certain Filly

It was an unassuming day in the cold of Ponyville winter that soon enough went down in legend. Colts and fillies spoke in hushed tones about a certain filly with a penchant for vengeance. They said she and her friends outed every last one of Diamond Tiara's top lieutenants. They said that after her friends were outed, the filly herself single-hoofedly assaulted Diamond's own stronghold and served ice-cold revenge directly to every pony in there, up to and including El Presidente herself.

The story of that certain filly soon turned into a folktale in its own right. It was passed from mouth to mouth, foal to foal, and was told in lunchrooms and recess for days to come.

Of course, there was one thing that nopony ever knew for certain. After the dust settled and the foals of Ponyville Elementary fell back into their daily routine, it came to light that nopony knew what the ultimate prize of Apple Bloom's quest actually was. Indeed, the filly herself remained tight-lipped about it. Even her closest friends didn't know for certain.

After Apple Bloom outed Diamond Tiara in the top of her office tower of business/evil, things fell into place rather nicely.

The Conglomerate was left wholly without leadership, and it quickly dissolved entirely. Former teammates turned on each other almost immediately, and the ensuing chaos managed to finish the game once and for all. Within a few minutes of the news of Diamond Tiara's demise at the hooves of a certain filly, everypony in the school had either been taken out or gotten bored and gone home.

Everypony, that is, except for a certain tenacious farm filly.

Ponies outed in the long war lined the road as Apple Bloom emerged a shaking, bruised, and sweaty mess from the front doors of Diamond Tiara's tower. She froze on the threshold, unsure of the sudden appearance of countless colts and fillies. When they didn't make a sound or move towards her, Apple Bloom tentatively stepped outside and limped down the road.

None of them impeded her path. Apple Bloom dragged her heavy hooves through the snow, all the while eyeing dozens upon dozens of blank faced foals that watched her progress with an almost eerie interest.

There was nothing any of them could do. Most of them had crossed paths with the filly at one point or another. In fact, a significant percentage of them had met their ends at her very own hooves. Still, this battered and beaten farm filly had done something that not a single pony could refute.

She had won.

When Apple Bloom finally staggered into the schoolyard, her mane and coat a ruined mess, she did so with a smile. She could see Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo waiting on the sidelines and offering her the biggest grins she'd seen in recent memory. She nodded back to her old friends, then stepped up the stairs to the schoolhouse.

If it had been silent on her walk over, it became silent as Apple Bloom slowly placed a hoof on the schoolhouse door. Not a soul dared to breathe as every set of eyes locked, unblinking, onto the yellow filly about to receive her prize.

Apple Bloom felt like she should say something clever, but nothing seemed appropriate. So she sighed, and pushed through the door.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

A dusty old clock counted the seconds from its place high on the wall. It was punctuated only by the occasional sound of papers being shuffled by a middle aged earth pony mare of magenta colouration, who currently sat at a desk positioned perfectly at the head of the classroom.

Cheerilee didn't seem to notice Apple Bloom enter, so the filly took several stumbling steps in her teacher's directon.

The sound of hooves on wood seemed to catch her ear, as Cheerilee glanced up almost instantly.

"Oh, Apple Bloom! What a pleasant surprise." She smiled a genuine, warm smile. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Apple Bloom finally reached the desk and paused to catch her breath before replying, "I… I won, Miss Cheerilee."

Cheerilee's smile faltered. "You… won…?"

"The snowball fight."

"Oh, right!" Cheerilee smacked her hooves together. "Well, congratulations! I take it you're here for the promised prize, then?"

Apple Bloom could only nod, her eyes wide as plates and her heart thundering like it wanted to explode out of her chest. This was it. This was her defining moment. This was everything that she had worked for, fought for, smacked a colt across the teeth with a gigantic candy cane for.

Cheerilee smiled and turned to rummage through her desk. "It's a good thing there's no heat in this building, or, well… The prize might not have worked out," she muttered quietly as she reached for something.

Apple Bloom could barely even breathe. Everypony that had been lost, every friend that had been outed, had done so to keep this prize out of the hooves of those who didn't deserve it. Now it was going to the one pony who truly did.

"Aaaand, here you are!" Cheerilee sat up and proudly held it in front of her.

Apple Bloom's eyes widened.

"C'mon, Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo whined. "What was the prize!?

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle added. "You can't keep us in suspense after all we went through!"

Apple Bloom shook her head slowly. The three of them were sitting together at an outdoor picnic table for lunchbreak. It was the day after what had become known as The Snowball Fight, and things had returned to normal almost instantly.

"Y'all're missing the point entirely!" Apple Bloom threw her hooves in the air frustradedly. "It ain't about the prize. The prize was nothing but an impetus for impetus' sake. Really, the true prize is one we all share. The most valuable prize of all: the adventure we had fightin' for it."

Sweetie Belle sighed in defeat, but Scootaloo squinted suspiciously.

"It was something dumb, wasn't it?"

"A delicious snow cone!" Cheerilee's smile grew as she presented the 'glorious' prize.

The feeling that Apple Bloom experienced in that moment could never be adequately surmised in words, but 'crushing' would do a serviceable job.

That was it? After all that she'd been through, after all that she'd done? Apple Bloom could feel her pulse accelerating as a vein in her forehead began to bulge. All of that violence for a single, stupid, worthless, pointless, snow—

"It's cherry!"

"Ooh!" Apple Bloom lunged forward with a grin and happily took the delicious treat.

Never mind. The entire thing was totally worth it after all.

She opened her mouth wide and chomped the entire ball of delectable cherry snow down in one great bite.

"Ah!" Apple Bloom hissed a long breath in through her teeth. "Brain freeze!"

Apple Bloom blushed. "Nuh uh. It was awesome. I just don't want to detract from the focus on our experience by waxing poetical about some material prize that can never truly match the value that our shared journey of violence and awesomeness."

The farm filly refused to meet her friends' gazes. "That's all it is. The prize was great."

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both narrowed their eyes for several moments before Scootaloo finally spoke up again.

"I bet it was something dumb."

"You're something dumb!"

...And Puppy Dog Tails

"This next one's not going to be easy." Scootaloo hopped down into the small hollow where the Crusaders were hiding out. The hollow sat at the base of a tall hill, and on the other side of that hill sat another snow fort.

"See any weak points?" Apple Bloom asked hopefully.

Scootaloo shrugged. "The castle itself isn't as well put together as the last one, but there are actual ponies here. I didn't get to see who's in command —they must be inside— but they've got guards on the gates, and patrols coming and going almost constantly."

Sweetie Belle offered an encouraging smile. "Hey, we've faced worse odds before."

"Sweetie Belle, we lost. Remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

"Hey," Apple Bloom smirked. "Y'all didn't have me before. C'mon, let's figure this thing out. There's gotta be a way to get inside without having to fight a whole dang army."

"Well…" Scootaloo fidgeted, tapping her forehooves together.

"You got a plan, Scoots?"

"Sorta, but it'd take some luck."

Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Better than nothing. What is it?"

"Okay," Scootaloo began gesturing wildly. "So, like, you know how a lot of the henchponies wear scarves or balaclavas or whatever to hide their face?"

The other Crusaders nodded, slightly confused.

"I was thinking, maybe next time a patrol goes out, we can sneak up on 'em in the woods and out three of 'em when the others aren't looking. Then we hide our faces and join the rest of the patrol. When the patrol's done, we get to walk back into the castle like we belong there!"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared with wide eyes. Finally, Apple Bloom spoke.

"Scoots, that is surprisingly brilliant. I thought you were gonna say we attack 'em head on or somethin'."

"That's still plan B, actually."

Sweetie Belle leaned in. "I like the plan. It sounds like the best chance we have of getting in there quietly. Count me in." She put one forehoof into the middle of their huddle.

Apple Bloom nodded. "Me too." She stacked her hoof atop Sweetie's.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo grinned as she added her own hoof. "Let's do this!"

"Remember, if you see anything suspicious, report it immediately!"

"Roger that!"

The patrol entered the treeline cautiously. Visibility was low in the thick forest, but they had little actual fear. The Conglomerate had no real enemies. They had crushed Pipsqueak and his band of pirates, they had obliterated Dinky Doo's science team —even though they'd specifically said not to shoot— and even the rebellion lead by the Crusaders had been all but wiped out.

At this point, only a couple rebels remained active, and even the occasional guerilla raid by those two stubborn ponies was always far away anyway.

So it was that one filly saw fit to wander a little ways away from the group. It wouldn't hurt to trek just a little off the beaten path and see some nature. She was alone, stooped low to smell a delightful flower, when a pair of orange hooves wrapped around her neck from behind.

Scootaloo yanked the goon backwards and body slammed her to the ground. Before the masked filly could so much as yelp, Scootaloo shoved a snowball directly into her face. The goon tensed, then went still with a sigh.

Scootaloo smiled grimly and began to remove the filly's grey balaclava.

"Whoa, what the hay?!"

"Ahh!" Scootaloo jumped back.

"What are you doing?!" The filly sat up, glaring. "You can't just steal my clothes."

"Aww, come on!" Scootaloo pouted. "I really need it! I'll give it back tomorrow, I promise."

The filly seemed to consider for a moment, but ultimately sighed. "Fine, but if you wreck it you have to buy me a new one!"

"Deal!" Scootaloo grinned and shook hooves with her. That settled, the goon laid back down in the snow and Scootaloo set to work. She removed the balaclava and put it on, pulling down the hood of her own brown cloak as well.

With her disguise in place, she trotted towards the rest of the patrol group. She looked over the group of eight ponies until she spotted a suitable target. Two particular ponies were separated from the group, chatting between themselves. Scootaloo bore a predatory grin beneath her mask as she sidled up to the pair.

"Greetings, fellow henchponies!" Scootaloo said loudly. "A fine day for Conglomering, don't you think?"

The conversation screeched to a halt, and both ponies turned slowly to fix Scootaloo with squinting glares. They stared at her long enough to make her uncomfortable. Scootaloo's hoof began to inch to the snowballs she'd stashed within her cloak, but before she could act both henchponies broke into bright grins.

"Sure is!" The one on the right exclaimed, his smile visible through his eyes more than his scarf-covered face.

The left one wore a white balaclava, but had eyes that shone just as brightly as the other's.

"We were just talking about how great things have been going for us lately." The henchpony gestured between them. "We'd never really had friends before, besides each other, but now that we're part of a big club like this I feel like I can't even count all my friends!"

The first pony joined in. "Yeah! It's really great! I've been invited to more birthday parties in my time with The Conglomerate than I had in my entire life!"

"Yeah, cool," Scootaloo muttered, glancing around to make sure nopony was looking. "Hey… friends, wanna see something cool?"

The two ponies blinked simultaneously. "Sure!"

Scootaloo led the hapless duo away from the patrol group along a path she had committed to memory. They wound their way around snowbanks and over logs for several minutes, but never once did the enthusiastic pair of guards deem anything suspicious. Finally, they came to a stop in a small clearing situated at the base of a cliff.

"Oooh," the two goons coo'd in unison as they took in the scenery. "A clearing!"

Goon number one turned to beam at Scootaloo. "Wow! This is really nifty! Thanks a ton for showing us this."

Scootaloo smirked. "Snow problem."

Two perfectly timed snowballs flew out of the treeline and smacked both Conglomerites in the back of their heads.

"Oof!" They collapsed onto their chests in perfect synchronization.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom trotted out of the forest and glanced at the two downed ponies.

"Good work, Scoots," Apple Bloom said through a smile. "I'll take the scarf. Sweetie, you take the other mask."

They quickly removed the goons' headgear, fortunately without any protests this time, and once they'd donned their disguises, the three Crusaders marched back towards the main body of the patrol.

"You sure this is going to work?" Sweetie Belle hissed out the side of her mouth as they trudged through the snow-filled woods.

"Of course it is!" Scootaloo replied. "We just gotta keep our mouths shut and follow behind everypony else. Easy peasy."

"Alright," Sweetie mumbled, sounding entirely not-alright. "But I've got a bad feeling about this…"

The rest of the patrol came into view, and the Crusaders fell silent. They approached nonchalantly and began to follow the Conglomerate henchponies through the woods. There didn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to the patrol route, but after several minutes of aimless wandering, the apparent leader decided it was time to head back.

Apple Bloom fidgeted nervously as the fort came into view up ahead. It wasn't a perfectly made castle like the last one, but it was still large. A vaguely dome-shaped mound of snow stretched almost one and a half storeys high, entirely smooth across its whole surface. Not a single window was built into the place, and only one door. That door was a bit more sturdy than expected. It seemed to be made out of a slab of ice. Apple Bloom wasn't sure they could kick it down if they tried.

Fortunately, force wouldn't be needed to get inside this time. As they approached the castle, one of the two guards standing on either side of the door leaned over and knocked three times on its icy surface. Something clicked inside, and the door slid open just as the first pony of the patrol group reached it.

The patrol moved inside, followed at the back by three not-at-all-suspicious ponies that nopony else recognized from the barracks.

As they passed through the door, Apple Bloom felt her heart sink. Scootaloo tensed up and Sweetie Belle pressed against her feathered friend's side with a whimper. Fillies and colts filled the entire room. Eight of them were suiting up to go outside on the next patrol, but even with those ones gone there were far too many ponies there. It appeared to be a sort of barracks. Tables and chairs made of ice filled the center of the room in neat rows, all full of chatting goons. Stacks of snowballs were placed against the walls in any available space; more than enough ordinance to repel an attacking army. At the back of the room, a small staircase led up to a thin pair of ice doors. That, Apple Bloom reasoned, would be the location of their target.

Before they could even begin to blend in, a horrifying realization surfaced in Apple Bloom's mind. She glanced around frantically at all the Conglomerites in the room, noting one thing in particular that they all shared in common. The next patrol marched out into the snow, and that confirmed it.

Nopony in the room had their mask on, except the three crusaders.

"Wuh oh…" Apple Bloom muttered.

"What?" Scootaloo whispered hoarsely. A few looks were being tossed their way, and they weren't friendly.

"If we don't take our masks off, we stick out like sore hooves. If we do, we'll be recognized instantly."

"Giiiirls, they're looking at us…" Sweetie Belle whimpered.

"Uh…" Scootaloo was sweating. "Well, now what?"

Apple Bloom blanched. "Whadda ya mean 'now what'?! It's your plan!"

"I don't like the way they're looking at us…" Sweetie Belle seemed to be trying to absorb herself into Scootaloo's side.

"Look," Scootaloo fought to keep her voice low, "I never actually planned anything beyond getting us inside, but in all fairness to me, that part went swimmingly!"

"Oh Celestia…" Apple Bloom rubbed her face with a hoof. "We're out. We're all out. This is it."

"Will you shut up and come up with something!" Scootaloo hissed.

"No, you!" Apple Bloom shot back.

"I'm trying here! Okay, okay, let's turn around and make a break for it. We can skip to the next fort."

"The door's shut and barred, ya featherbrain!"

Sweetie Belle seemed to be the only one noticing the shifting glares being cast from all around the room to the three suspicious fillies still standing in front of the door. One or two goons were even whispering to each other and beginning to form snowballs or grab them from one of the piles. Sweetie Belle nervously hopped from hoof to hoof, hoping desperately that one of her more action-oriented friends would spring some brilliant plan into motion. She surreptitiously rolled some snow into a ball beneath one of her forehooves, and then she waited.

"Okay, let's just try to mingle. If anypony asks about the masks, tell them you suffered horrific burns as a foal."

"That's dumb! You're dumb! I can't believe y'all even roped me into your rebellion in the first place. How'd y'all expect to defeat an army anyways?"

"Hey, we were fine hiding in the woods until you showed up. We were keeping it safe, low-profile! We never would've tried a big job like this until you convinced us!"

"Yeah? Well you—shhhhhh, somepony's coming!"

The whisper-argument fell silent instantly as one of the goons got up from a table and approached the Crusaders. He was a tan unicorn colt with a shaggy, blond mane. His green eyes sparkled brightly above a friendly, welcoming smile.

"Hello, friends! Why not come join the festivities? If you want to keep your headgear on, that's fine. I know it can get a bit cold in here. Now come on, we were just about to start a game of ponopoly—"

"Raugh!" Sweetie Belle finally snapped under the pressure. She flung her hidden snowball forward and nailed the friendly colt right in the eye. He collapsed, squealing, as the rest of the room fell into complete and utter silence.

Countless sets of eyes turned on Sweetie Belle all at once. Two sets in particular, on either side of her, fell into a strange mix of anger and total awe. The rest were just anger.

"Uh…" Sweetie Belle waved awkwardly. "Happy Ponukkah?"

The room exploded into violence. Apple Bloom dove forward and flipped a table with one strong buck, upending the ponies that had been sitting there. Scootaloo grabbed Sweetie and dove to join Apple Bloom behind the table just in time to avoid a barrage of icy doom.

"Welp," Apple Bloom winced as snowball after snowball after snowball exploded against their flimsy cover. "I guess that's one way to get things moving."

Scootaloo grinned. "You know what? I like this solution. I don't know why I didn't come up with it myself." She quickly formed two snowballs and took one in each forehoof. "Party time!"

The brash pegasus dove from cover and slid across the ground on her side. She flung both snowballs with expert speed and precision before any of the henchponies could so much as blink at her sudden appearance. Two goons near the back of the room were hit, but Scootaloo had already overturned another table and crouched down before they'd touched the floor.

The hail of fire continued, now split between two targets, but not any less effective.

"You two feel free to join in!" Scootaloo shouted as she popped up to return fire, headshotting one colt and grazing the shoulder of another before ducking down again.

"Right." Apple Bloom nodded resolutely. "Sweetie, cover me!"

"What?"

Before Sweetie could do much of anything, Apple Bloom vaulted over the cover. Fortunately, Scootaloo saw her friend move, and quickly began flinging snowballs wildly into the crowd of henchponies. Two goons were struck down in puffs of white before they could take aim at Apple Bloom's running form, and in the next blink she was among them.

Apple Bloom dropped to her back and slid underneath one henchpony.

"Scoots, alley-oop!"

She kicked the goon hard with all four legs. He flew straight up into the air with an undignified yelp, only to take a snowball right in the teeth and careen back to the ground in a loose cartwheel.

"Boom shakalaka!" Scootaloo shouted from her cover. "That one's for the fans!"

Apple Bloom grinned and kipped up to her hooves in time to avoid three snowballs flying her way. She juked and dodged between henchponies, then leapt into the air over one colt's head. Apple Bloom bucked him in the hindquarters, sending him flailing headlong into a snowball being formed by his own teammate.

"Still counts!" Apple Bloom shouted gleefully as she somersaulted out of the way of a henchpony's bucking hooves. She bounced up to her hooves and slapped a snowball out of a unicorn filly's hoof. Then she cartwheeled over the confused pony, only to land on her back. Three henchponies had managed to form a line and ready their shots while Scootaloo was pinned down, but Apple Bloom saw it coming. With a grim smile, she wrapped her hooves around the filly's neck and yanked back.

The filly squawked and reared up onto her hind hooves. At the same time, Apple Bloom allowed her own hind hooves to touch down on the ground. With not a moment to spare, she swung the helpless filly around to face her three attackers. All three snowballs were thrown with deadly accuracy, and all three struck the Conglomerate filly directly in the chest.

Apple Bloom tossed the limp goon aside and leapt towards the three gaping colts who'd just outed their own teammate. Before they could react, Apple Bloom slid to a stop and spun on her hooves, she bucked one in the chest and sent him sliding across the slick floor. He slid straight behind Scootaloo's table, just in time to be met with a snowball to the face.

One of the colts had the presence of mind to actually take a swing at Apple Bloom. She ducked under the punch and lunged forward with her shoulder. Her tackle took the goon's legs from under him and flopped him helplessly onto Apple Bloom's back. She reared up onto her hind hooves, then fell over backwards. The colt exhaled all the breath from his lungs as he impacted the hard floor first. Apple Bloom rolled off the writhing goon and back to her hooves, but he was down for the count.

When Apple Bloom turned to face the last of the three colts, he simply offered her a crooked smile before lifting a snowball and mashing into the side of his own head.

A snowball streaked past her head close enough to ruffle her mane, and Apple Bloom remembered there was still a roomful of thugs to deal with.

"Whoa, nelly!" she shouted as she dove into cover behind a smashed table. "Hey, Scoots! How're things on your end?"

Scootaloo grunted as she tossed another snowball, nailing a goon in the neck and causing him to collapse with a weak gurgle.

"Things are pretty cool!" the pegasus shouted back. A colt tried to make a play, but Scootaloo was having none of it. "Krakow!" She pumped a hoof as the colt slid across the floor, his face now invisible behind smashed snowball.

The rain of snowballs only intensified, and Scootaloo soon found herself pinned down and unable to fire. She gritted her teeth as the ice table she was huddled behind slowly chipped away against the incessant assault.

Until suddenly, the assault ceased. Scootaloo blinked in confusion, but wasn't about to waste an opportunity. She quickly grabbed two snowballs and popped up out of cover. A glorious sight awaited her as she saw every goon in the room frantically trying to fashion fresh snowballs. As one, they all looked up at her and froze.

Scootaloo hefted her snowballs. "Any questions?"

One henchpony raised a hoof.

Paff!

He collapsed onto his back, twitching.

"Anypony else? No? Good." Scootaloo dove from cover and let her other snowball fly. One henchpony went flying with the force of the projectile exploding against his chest. Scootaloo landed in a roll and scooped up a fresh snowball before she'd even gotten to her hooves. By the time she slid to a stop, she was throwing two more. Two more Conglomerites fell, but Scootaloo kept moving.

She weaved around the room with the grace of a dancer, never once ceasing in her fluid movements. Some of the henchponies managed to return fire, but Scootaloo dodged around them like it was nothing.

"One for you! And one for you! Don't think I forgot about you!"

Henchpony after henchpony collapsed in snowy heaps. Scootaloo rolled and slid and threw snowballs with terrifying accuracy and speed, circling the room all the while. The henchponies grew dizzy just trying to keep up as Scootaloo circled and circled and circled around them in a blur of snowballs and doom.

Finally, when only one colt remained, Scootaloo cartwheeled across the room and landed directly in front of him.

"It's been fun, but you need to cool off!"

Smack!

She slapped him right in the face with a hoofful of snowball. The colt flew backwards, clutching at his cheek, and Scootaloo was left standing in the center of a room full of groaning and writhing Conglomerites.

"Mmm." She shivered, her wings twitching a little. "Bracing!"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle emerged from cover to join their pegasus comrade in the middle of the room. All three of them finally removed their masks and tossed them to the ground.

Apple Bloom groaned as she felt an ache settle into her limbs. "I'm getting too old for this stuff…"

Sweetie Belle blinked. "You're, like, eleven!"

"Oh yeah."

"C'mon, girls," Scootaloo cut in. "We're not finished yet."

The three of them trotted over to the door in the back of the room. It was made of fairly thin ice, certainly not thick enough to repel a swift buck.

"You think they heard us back there?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously.

Scootaloo tapped her chin. "Nah. Let's go!"

Before either of her friends could even say the word caution, Scootaloo bounded up the short staircase and turned around. "Knock knock, mother—Waugh!"

Scootaloo yelped and fell flat on her face as the door opened milliseconds before her hoof could connect with it. A figure stepped into the doorway…

"Prepare for—"

…only to be struck in the jaw by Scootaloo's flailing hind hooves.

"—Augh, jeeze!" The pony flew backwards into the room before any of the Crusaders could get a good look at him.

Apple Bloom quickly helped Scootaloo to her hooves, and the three of them trotted through the now open doorway.

Two colts were inside. One was short and round, with a green-blue coat and a spiky orange mane. The other was tall and lanky, with a yellow coat and a poorly-cut green mane. The shorter one was nursing his jaw and glaring as he restarted his previous attempt at a dialogue.

"Prepare for trouble!"

Silence.

Snips smacked Snails in the side sharply.

"Oh! Uh, and, uh… make it double!"

"Snips!"

"D'uhhh, and I'm Snails!"

"That was terrible," Scootaloo deadpanned. "Did you guys even practice?"

"D'uhhh, oh yeah?" Snails grinned. "Well you won't have nowhere to hide!"

As one, their horns began to glow.

Snips smirked. "When we've got magic on our side!"

Scootaloo nodded. "Better." Then what they'd said sunk in, and her ears folded. "Wait, magic?"

At least six snowballs hovered into the air behind each of their foes.

"Crud! Duck!"

All three Crusaders dove into the room and threw themselves to the floor. A dozen snowballs sailed overhead with magical force and exploded against the far wall. There was a brief pause as Snips and Snails reloaded, and Apple Bloom frantically cast her gaze about the room for some sort of cover. Unfortunately, the room was almost entirely barren. It lacked even the throne that had dominated Button Mash's room. Instead, Snips and Snails simply stood in the center of the room.

The two colts had almost finished gathering up more snowballs, so Apple Bloom quickly turned to her friends.

"Split up!" She waved her hooves wildly. "Just keep movin' and strike any time you see an opening! Go go go!"

The three fillies burst into motion not a moment too soon as Snips and Snails sent another barrage flying their way. Fortunately, Apple Bloom's plan seemed to work as Snips and Snails couldn't quite decide on a target and ended up firing uselessly into the wall.

Apple Bloom took a chance to form a snowball, seeing her friends do the same. She flung it with all her might, but felt her heart ice over as her projectile exploded pathetically against a magical barricade.

"Well that just ain't fair…"

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle each fired their own shots in succession, only to be met with the same morale-crushing result. Then it was Snips and Snails turn. The colts seemed to have learned since last time. While all three Crusaders were still running around the room in circles, their foes chose one target to focus on. Fortunately, they chose Scootaloo.

"Hah!" Scootaloo whooped and laughed as she flipped over several snowballs at once. "You're not even makin' me break a sweat here!" She slid along the floor underneath a wave of snowballs, only to hoof-spring into the air and weave deftly between several more. Finally, the barrage ran dry and Scootaloo resumed normal running.

"Phew, not bad, but I've had better."

"Scootaloo…" Apple Bloom groaned. "Y'all've been spendin' too much time around Rainbow Dash. Your sense of humour's gotten weird."

The Crusaders formed their own projectiles again, only to have them fail to penetrate the magical shield again.

"This is ridiculous!" Scootaloo complained. "What are we supposed to do, just run around dodging until we get tired and give up!?"

Snips and Snails glanced at each other, then said in unison, "Yes!"

"Well that's dumb!"

Snips and Snails readied the next barrage, but while Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were getting ready to dodge, Sweetie Belle was rushing forward with snowball in hoof.

"Sweetie!" Scootaloo yelled. "What are you doing?!"

Sweetie Belle slid to a stop mere feet away from the two colts, who tilted their heads at her in confusion. She reared back and cocked her foreleg, then threw with all her might directly at Snips' face.

The chubby colt flinched, but the snowball splashed against the air before hitting him.

The room fell into silence.

"Oh…" Sweetie Belle murmured. "I thought you couldn't do the shield and the snowballs at the same time."

Snips smirked. "Well, we can."

"Yeah, so, d'uhhhh… See ya nora, or something."

"That's just over-powered…"

"No no no no no!" Scootaloo was already sprinting across the room. "Out me! Out me!"

Sweetie Belle sank to her knees and looked up sadly. She caught the eyes of her panicking friend, then glanced across the room to where Apple Bloom watched with wide eyes and a hoof covering her mouth.

"Tell Rarity… I might be late for lunch."

Smash!

The entire cloud of snowballs slammed into Sweetie Belle like an avalanche, sending her sliding across the room until she slammed against the wall and lay still in a mound of snow.

Apple Bloom fell to her haunches and sniffled. Scootaloo just stared, open-mouthed. Snips and Snails barked out a surprised laugh, clearly as shocked by their victory as the rest of the ponies in the room. Their laughter continued, devolving into a belly-shaking bout of uproarious mirth.

Scootaloo's gaze slowly, slowly shifted from her limp friend to the two colts. When they caught sight of the look on her face, they stopped laughing.

"D'uhhhh… uh oh."

Scootaloo flew towards them like a bullet. "You jerks!" She leapt high into the air, desperately buzzing her tiny wings for a little more altitude, and came screaming down towards them with the mother of all dive-kicks.

The magical shield shattered like invisible glass. Scootaloo landed in a crouch, then her head snapped up to fix the two colts with a burning glare.

"Sayonara."

She jumped forth and punched Snips in the jaw. He reeled back, but quickly retaliated with a buck from his hind hooves. Scootaloo ducked underneath the buck and it caught Snails in the teeth. The lanky pony stumbled backwards, dazed, and Scootaloo quickly spun and swept the legs out from under him. Before the taller colt had even hit the ground, Scootaloo jumped into the air and spun twice into a roundhouse kick that sent Snips cartwheeling in an arc across the room.

In one smooth motion, Scootaloo scooped up two hooffuls of snow and flung them in opposite directions without even looking. Two simultaneous yelps confirmed that they'd flown true, and then the room fell silent.

The silence was broken by a weak cough, at which point Scootaloo's furious glare melted into a look of pained concern. Both she and Apple Bloom sprinted over to the source of the cough, skidding to a halt next to their half-buried friend.

"Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom exclaimed through held-back tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Sweetie offered a weak smile. "We all knew the risks. I was only doing what I thought was right, and… and if that's how I go out, then I'm okay with that."

"It should've been me," Scootaloo muttered. Tears were leaking onto her cheeks, but neither of her friends saw fit to mention it. "We dragged you into a fight, and it was my plan, and this is all my fault, but you're the one paying for it." Scootaloo clenched her eyes shut and faced the ground, shuddering.

"Hey!" Sweetie Belle reached out with a shaking forehoof and lifted Scootaloo's chin. "Don't blame yourself for it. You didn't start this war. You didn't turn the game into something it was never meant to be. Only one pony is to blame for any of this, and now it's your job to stop her. Can you do that?"

Scootaloo nodded shakily. "Y-Yeah, I… I can totally do that. I'll pummel Diamond Tiara for you!"

Sweetie Belle sighed and leaned back. Her eyes closed and her foreleg dropped to the snow. "Good…" She seemed to struggle momentarily before weakly uttering, "I'm sorry I couldn't be more help. I mostly just hid for that whole first fight, and… and then I go and get myself outed like this. I'm just… I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Apple Bloom breathed. "You did your part. Ain't nopony who can ask more'n that."

Sweetie Belle smiled, but had no more words to give. With one last shuddering effort, she managed to lift one forehoof and hold it in front of her. The other two Crusaders stared in confusion for a moment, before Apple Bloom blinked in realization and held out her own hoof atop Sweetie's. Scootaloo nodded, sniffled once, then placed her own hoof on top.

All three of them shared one last, mutual smile, and then Sweetie's hoof dropped back down. Her head fell back against the snow, and her eyelids drifted closed. The last of the air was expelled from her lungs in a long exhale, and Sweetie Belle lay still.

Her two friends sat in reverent silence for some time, but they couldn't stay forever. Eventually, Apple Bloom got to her hooves, and Scootaloo was soon to follow. They gazed into each other's eyes, and each saw an identical fire burning there. Each of them held a resolute glare as they turned and stomped towards the door.

One thing was certain: They were going to finish this mission, and Diamond Tiara would have no idea what hit her.

"Uh… girls?"

They both stopped, blinking. The duo turned around slowly to see Sweetie Belle grinning sheepishly at them and waving a forehoof.

"Erm, I need to go home, but I'm stuck. My hindquarters are getting really cold." She shrugged awkwardly. "Little help?"

The other two Crusaders paused momentarily, then trotted over.

"Sure thing," Apple Bloom chirped happily.