Author's Note

Short chapter, but enjoy anyway!

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Chapter 5

“Wait a second. We haven’t practiced any songs for this. In fact, we haven’t practiced at all! How am I supposed to know what to play here?” Octavia whispered to Lyra, minutes before their gig started. It had never occurred to her that she’d never seen them really practice. Were they just lucky? Or was this something completely different?

Were these ponies better than she had originally thought?

“Well, yeah. I should’ve explained better. Um…” Lyra pushed her mane out of her eyes and faced Octavia. “Well, Acoustic Sunday is more of a jam day. You know, just instrumentals.” She pointed out over the stage. “Look, have you noticed that the most ponies come to cafes like this one just to chill on days like this? Or, in this case, warm up.”

“Well, yes that does make plenty of sense, but you’re avoiding my question.” Octavia shot back. “We are unprepared for this, and this is going to turn out badly.” Lyra groaned.

“See? This is the problem! Stop overthinking things. It’s a jam, Octy. Do what you did yesterday and you’ll be fine! Got it? We’re all prepared. Just chill out.” Octavia’s pupils shrunk and she advanced towards Lyra slowly. Her voice, quiet but piercing.

“You are not hearing what I’m trying to say. I will mess up in front of all those ponies if I don’t know what I’m playing. Do you not understand? You, Rocky and Key may be prodigies, but I’m not. I’m not even close to being one, Lyra. You three might be prepared, but I’m not.” She fell to her haunches and let her head sit low. “I’m a boring old pony who everypony will laugh at if I mess up.”

“And so what?”

“Huh?”

“You mess up and what? Are you that type of pony that gives up after they make a single mistake?” Lyra’s tone matched Octavia’s perfectly. “Well, go on! Answer me. Why are you scared of messing up?”

“B-because that’s how I was raised.”

“Bullshit.” Lyra jumped forward and forced Octavia to look her straight in the eyes. “You say we’re prodigies? That’s a total joke. I’m not naturally good at this, Octy. You are. Do you realize how incredibly hard I had to work to get even a fraction as good as you? You’re the most talented of the bunch. Except maybe Key. That filly is insane. But besides that, you are much better than me and Rocky combined!”

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s right. I failed most of my college courses other than the ones I shared with you. I worked day and night. DAY AND NIGHT to match you. I wanted to show that I was capable of doing something as well as you. Although I may have matched you, that still didn’t sit well for me. I mean, you barely had to try to get a good grade. I had to work for days on end.”

“I would have weekends where I didn’t sleep in order to study enough to match you. Then I realized, no matter how much I try, I can never be as good as you.” She let go of Octavia and looked at a speck of dirt on the floor. “I’m incredibly jealous of you, Octy. You cannot fathom how jealous I am of you. Music just comes to you naturally, and you have the nerve to tell me that you’re no good?”

“B-but that’s… no! You’re still better than I am. All I can do is do what you tell me.” Octavia stuttered.

“Yea! With NO prior experience whatsoever! You did it well the first time you did it! You’d never done it before, yet you manage to better even me after having years of experience with this stuff. You don’t have the right to say that I’m better than you.”

“No, but I-”

“Shut up and listen to me. Okay? This is NOT a royal performance, understand? You won’t get laughed at or executed if you miss a note or something. I mess up so much every performance that when I go to bed at night, I think about them. Yesterday, when you played with us, I made a bunch of mistakes because I was nervous.”

“Nervous of what?” Octavia asked

“I was nervous because I was playing with the mare that had completely destroyed me through college. I was scared of you.”

Lyra tried to look at Octavia, but ended up pulling her face away again. “To tell you the truth, ninety-five percent of these ponies won’t even remember what we look like after they go to bed tonight.” Lyra pulled her back on all fours and continues her talk. “If you mess up, don’t panic. Just keep going. If you make it look like you did it on purpose, sometimes the audience goes with it.”

“O-okay.” Octavia sputtered.

“Just remember one thing. Do not panic if you mess up. It’s no big deal. Even the best make mistakes.”

“Okay. Thanks… I guess.” There was a certain silence around the room for a bit until Lyra spoke up again.

“Sorry for getting angry at you. I… I’m sorry. I think I’m pushing you past your limits. You don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”

“No! I do! I really do want to play with you guys!” Octavia nearly yelled. “I’m just… not a very confident pony. See, I’m usually in an Orchestra which has a bunch of ponies that constantly practice over and over again until it is physically impossible to make a mistake.” Lyra listened carefully to every single word that flew out of her mouth.

“I’m just not used to this, but I hope I will be soon. I’m sorry, Lyra. Really. I really want to play with you guys. Forgive me?”

“Forgive you for what?” Lyra asked with a strange look on her face. “Shut up and get ready. We’re about to start!” Octavia’s eyes lit up as she dashed to her new instrument and picked it up in an upright position.

“Ready? Three! Two! ONE!”

Link

The performance had gone without any issues. Octavia had again, destroyed any expectation of Lyra’s. She didn’t show it, but Lyra’s heart had a big hole in it. She’s a headstrong mare who will do everything in her power to do what she can’t. She isn’t afraid of breaking her limits again and again to do what she needs to, but even then, Lyra has her own weakness. Her own ego gets the best of her. Whenever she isn’t able to pass the impossible limit she sets for herself, she sulks and thinks she’s the worst.

You can tell when she goes through one of those phases. Her big golden eyes, usually twinkling with life, left lackluster. Her brilliant smile that always lights up the room, vanished. Her decently kept hair's a rat’s nest and her beautiful mint green coat also loses its own shine. This is when she’s at her lowest. She drinks and drinks and drinks until she either passes out, or cries herself to sleep. Occasionally, she has violent fits when she’s drunk, so she flips the lock on the door and locks herself in her room. She gives the key to Key to hold on to until she’s done. She’d learned her lesson about not locking herself in. She’d never been able to forgive herself after what she did to Key.

Lyra sat curled up in a ball in the very corner of her room. Empty shot glasses littered the room, along with bottles of hard liquor and beer. She’d shattered her dresser mirror after she threw an empty bottle at it. The bed was unkempt and dirty, mirroring Lyra’s own look. Boxes of pizza, some empty, some full, sat in a sad stack on the opposite corner of her room. The day was overcast and wet, so Lyra simply shut out the outside world with her unusually thick curtains. A single stream of light let through the gap where the curtains didn’t meet perfectly.

“Why?” Lyra whispered to herself. “How does she do it?” She wiped her runny nose with a tissue before continuing. “I try so hard to be good, I really do. Then why can I not do ANYTHING right!?” She screamed, throwing an empty beer bottle across the room. The rewarding shatter was heard, causing Lyra to breath out and calm down a little. She sighed and picked herself up off of the floor.

She heard the knocks on her door, but she ignored them completely. She continued to walk into her bathroom and stare in the mirror. She didn’t recognize the mar that stood in her place. This wasn’t who Lyra wanted to be. Usually on a tuesday afternoon like this one, Lyra would be out and about with Key. Teaching her all about the great things of life. Being a big sister to her. Protecting her. “I’m not supposed to be like this.” Lyra said to herself. She opened her now bloodshot eyes and stared into the mirror at the demon that she created.

Lyra’s anger raged through her, but she kept it inside. The muscles in her face ached as she scowled into the mirror with all her might. Her clenched teeth pained as the grinded against each other. Her horn sparked dangerously and the mirror began to vibrate. Slowly at first, but then faster and faster until it looked like ripples in a pond.

CRACK!

The mirror shattered in a spiderweb formation. A big crack split Lyra’s face in two diagonally and large pieces of the mirror fell off. One side was Lyra’s red, crying eye and the other was still full of pent up rage. When she saw that, she stopped.

“N-no. Not again.” She said as she slowly backed up from the mirror. “I-I-I can’t do this again.” She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. She continued to do it until her heartbeat was back to normal. Her head ached and her stomach growled, but she ignored it in this moment. She had to fix this.

Lyra stared back into the shattered mirror as if she was facing an old foe. “Okay Lyra. keep it cool. Keep it together. For Key.” She continued her slow breathing as she spoke. “Deep breaths. Stay calm. It’ll all be okay.” She assured herself. Her reflection seemed less psychotic and now, more relaxed. More like she was having a bad hair day than an emotional episode. She looked away from the mirror and stepped into her shower. She let the cold water run down her face, lifting off the dirt and grime of the past two days. When she finally stepped out of the shower, she felt lighter. Like a weight was lifted off her back. She felt her natural happy energy flowing back to her. Lyra’s mane flowed like it normally does, and her eyes once again twinkled like the brightest star in the sky.

Lyra waltzed out of the bathroom after toweling herself off and opened the curtains. She hadn’t noticed, but the sun was out again, letting a gorgeous stream of light in through the window. She looked around and saw the giant mess. She was used to having her room a little messy, but this was overkill. the next ten minutes were spent tidying up the broken glass and boxes of pizza. As soon as she finished, Lyra realized that Key was knocking on the door.

“Lyra! Can I open the door now please?” She yelled through the door.

“Yeah, come on in!”

The lock on the door shook for a second and then the click was heard. The doorknob twisted and then the door pushed open. “Hey Lyr-AH!”

Key was interrupted when Lyra tackled her to the ground in a bear hug. She buried her face into her neck before yelling, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry” Over and over again. Key patted Lyra’s back.

“There, there. It’s alright. We’re together now. Don’t you dare say sorry to me again. I forgave you a long time ago. Just let it be please? It’ll be alright. I promise.”

“Key?” Lyra sniffled.

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

“No need thank me either. We’re family. Family helps each other because they love each other.”

“In that case, I love you, Key.”

“Love you too, Lyra.”