What do you get a siren for Christmas when it already owns a magic gem?
A Dazzling Christmas-ooooooo-
Aria trudged down the colorfully lit hallway of the Dazzling’s large two-story home, her face bombarded with red, green, blue, yellow, and purple light as she made her way to the stairs. The light made just having got up that much worse, and she found herself squinting more than she usually would even for just having got up.
Aria brushed a strand of hair away from her face. She hadn’t bothered to put it up into ponytails yet, or even brush it. Changing out of her light-blue pajamas was also off the table at this point in the morning. In fact, doing more than walking, complaining, kicking, and punching was out of the question until she had her morning coffee. However, before the black caffeinated substance could make things just a hair above completely intolerable, she’d have to brave the Christmas melee all the way to the kitchen.
She grumbled to herself regarding a number of things as she trudged downstairs, starting with the fact that she couldn’t use the handrail for the long stream of colorful lights strung on it, then the fact that there were even more lights and decorations that awaited her in the living room, kitchen, dining area… bathroom. As impossible as it seemed, she found her frown deepening as the sound of yet another Christmas special could be heard from the home’s entertainment system. As she stepped off the stairs and walked into the living room, she avoided looking directly at the dancing elves in green tunics that sang one of many songs she was sick to death of hearing already.
Christmas was practically unavoidable as it was, but someone in the Dazzling’s household made it so their home wasn’t even a safe haven. In fact, Aria often found herself escaping to grocery stores, department stores, or even malls where the level of Christmas per square inch was somehow more tolerable than what the inside and outside of their home turned into every year.
She shot the biggest scowl of the morning at a massive evergreen tree… or rather the tall, vaguely cone-shaped item composed of lights, goofy ornaments, and tinsel that just might contain a tree somewhere under it all. It was impossible to tell. Colorful boxes of all shapes and sizes littered the ground under the Christmas… cone… thing…
Aria looked forward to opening none of it this morning. None of it was ever the least bit useful. In fact most of it would be obnoxious and noisy.
Worst of all will be Sonata… Aria thought as she turned away from the blinding lights of the ‘tree’ towards the slightly less blinding lights of the insides of the kitchen. The little twerp is going to ambush me and make me dress up as something ridiculous as soon as I set foot into the kitchen.
Aria took a cautious step into the kitchen, ready to deck the halls with Sonata’s face if she popped up. To her surprise the kitchen was devoid of anyone else. She took a few more cautious glances around the room and walked towards the kitchen’s single cup coffee machine. Two mugs, one with a happy snowman that was waving at her and another with a group of reindeer who seemed far too happy to be pulling a fat man on a sled caught her eye. A quick inspection revealed the snowman mug had a sticky note that read ‘For Aria’ attached to it.
Aria squinted at the mug suspiciously, lowered her nose over the cup, then sniffed. Her face scrunched up almost instinctively. Blech… It’s some cinnamony… artificially flavored holiday blend garbage Adagio got… Why doesn’t that girl just drink chocolate milk and energy drinksin the morning and skip the nonsense of getting stupid flavored coffee she’s just going to dump a bunch of sugar and syrup into anyways?
Aria looked up and scowled at a cutout of Saint Giver in his standard, bearded, fat, red-with-white-trim outfit-wearing glory before she opened the cupboard. She took out a dark blue mug that read ‘Looks like I’m the only one here with a mug full of the antidote.’ and set it in the coffee maker. She reached for a box marked ‘Italian roast’, fished out a small cup, and opened up the top of the coffee maker. She placed the cup inside, closed it, and pressed a few buttons on the machine. She tapped her foot impatiently as coffee slowly drizzled into her mug.
She kept a wary eye on the entrance to the kitchen. Sonata usually had the stealth capabilities of a hippo that somehow found itself covered in rainbow glitter and squeak toys, but somehow come December she transformed into some horrible Christmas ninja capable of decorating even the toughest to reach spaces and appear out of seemingly nowhere with some ridiculous sweater or accessory Aria and Adagio often found themselves wearing.
Soon Aria’s mug was full of the steaming blacking liquid which would insure her housemates continual survival for another day. Assuming neither of them bug me too much today. Aria took another glance at the decorations in the kitchen. Outlook not good, there.
To Aria’s surprise, Sonata soon came bounding towards the kitchen, far too giddy to manage stealthily sneaking up on a deaf and blind three-toed sloth, let alone Aria who was expecting her. She was wearing a smaller version of what the fat man on the cupboard was wearing: fuzzy red robes with a white trim. The only difference was the obnoxious green Christmas socks Sonata wore instead of boots.
Aria took one more sip of her black coffee as Sonata quickly ran up to her. Aria’s desire to pummel barely turned into the more standard desire to be sarcastic and grumpy as Sonata stepped up to just a hair’s width out of invading her personal space.
“We’ll open presents when Adagio gets up,” Aria said as she took a sip of coffee. “Keep your stupid St. Giver outfit on, alright?”
“Oh, I intend to!” Sonata declared happily.
Aria rolled her eyes. “All day, I bet…”
“Hehehe… Yep! Just wait until you see what I have picked out for you!”
Aria groaned. “I don’t think I’ll have trouble waiting. In fact, why don’t we just wait until I’m dead?”
“You can’t wear Christmas stuff at your funeral!” Sonata cried. She stared up the ceiling briefly and tapped her chin. Her face lit up much like the insides of the house around her. “Unless it’s a Christmas-themed funeral!”
Aria sighed heavily. “Wow Sonata, you make being dead sound unappealing.”
“Hehehe… Thanks!”
Aria narrowed her eyes. “It wasn’t a compliment, doofus…” She glanced at the clock on the microwave. “Wow… I’m surprised you’ve let Adagio sleep in this long… You’ve usually dragged her out of bed long before this…”
Sonata grinned wickedly. “Oh… it was better she slept in…” She wrung her hands together. “She’s going to be so surprised when she wakes up.”
Aria’s eyes went wide and she sat down her coffee. “Sonata… what did you do?”
“You’ll see~…” Sonata sang.
Aria suddenly felt a deep pit form in her stomach. The look on Sonata meant she had messed with Adagio in some way or another. While often funny, Adagio tended to fly off the handle in these cases.
Aria glanced at all the Christmas decorations. She’s been suffering just like me through all this bright flashy garbage… she’s going to totally flip-out...
“AAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!”
Like that.
Aria glanced towards the kitchen entrance as she heard Adagio’s shriek. Hearing her screaming wasn’t entirely uncommon, but very rarely did Adagio hit such high octaves or sounds of surprise when she yelled.
“SONATA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!” Adagio cried.
“Here it comes!” Sonata said excitedly.
‘Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…’
Aria heard the sound of someone sprinting down the stairs. Her eyes went wide as she caught site of Adagio with a look of bloody murder on her face. She charged towards the kitchen with her open, purple bathrobe billowing behind her, the lilac lingerie she wore barely blocking the view of any of the more private areas of her body.
Aria suppressed the urge to dwell on Adagio’s strange eveningwear choices in favor of taking a few steps away from Sonata. She soon caught sight of a fuzzy orange blur that had a few unusual green stripes in it before Adagio barreled straight into Santa’s Rejected Helper.
Adagio stared at the girl under her with a look of absolute contempt and rage. “WHAT… DID… YOU… DO?!”
Aria squinted down at Adagio. “Yo Dagi, there’s something in your hair.”
“I KNOW THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY HAIR!” she snapped back. “WHAT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!”
“I know what it is!” Sonata declared as she bolted to her feet and held up an index finger.
Adagio looked down and was surprised to find Sonata had somehow easily escaped her grasp. She barely had time to stand up before Sonata had grabbed a dangling green plug from her hair, and inserted it into a nearby socket. A strand of Christmas lights wrapped up in Adagio’s hair immediately lit up, filling the room with even more multi-colored light.
Adagio’s face contorted into pure fury as a few errant angry gurgles escaped her mouth.
Aria raised a hand to her mouth as she fought the urge to break into a fit of hysterical laughter.
Sonata grinned at Adagio, then Aria. “Do you think we should add ornaments? There’s still boxes full of them I couldn’t fit onto the tree!”
“SONATA!” Adagio cried. “I can’t… I can’t even begin to list off all the ways I’m going to torture you before killing you!”
Aria tried to talk while simultaneously holding her laughter at bay. “Adagio, calm… heh… calm down…. Hehahaha… It’s not… It’s not a… HehehehAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Aria soon found herself stricken with laughter at the sight of Adagio’s messy mass of curls turned into a big orange Christmas tree. She put a hand out and steadied herself on the counter to keep herself from falling over in a fit of hysterical glee.
Adagio shot Aria a death glare. “I’ll kill you too! Don’t think I won’t!”
“Yay!” Sonata cried. “Your wonderful Christmas hair has flooded Aria with the joy of the Christmas spirit.”
Adagio began to speak through gritted teeth. “You’re both about to become Christmas spirits.”
“Oh, Adagio,” Sonata said shaking her head. “Today’s the one day out of the year that’s not for murder! Today is a day for presents!” Sonata motioned out to the living room. “Now let’s see what St. Giver got us!”
Aria immediately stopped laughing, her eyes going wide. “Sonata… We’ve been over this… St. Giver doesn’t bring you presents… Adagio and I just buy you a bunch of stupid toys every year.”
Much to Aria’s surprise, Sonata’s joy seemed unshakable. “Yes, but his spirit guides you! Don’t you know? St. Giver lives in the heart of every little boy and girl!”
Adagio said nothing as she glared at Sonata. She ground her teeth together and unplugged her hair from the wall.
“… What?” Aria replied flatly. “We’re not little, Sonata… And I mean… Living in our hearts? That’s sounds as lame as it is stupid…” Aria turned to Adagio. “Back me up here, Dagi.”
Adagio shook her head slightly as she attempted to unravel the string of lights in her hair. “No way. There was way too much fire the year we told her the truth of about St. Giver. If believing there’s some obese guy who lives in our hearts keeps her from throwing a tantrum and almost killing us all, then there’s a fat guy that lives in our heart.”
Sonata gasped. “See! Now Adagio has the Christmas spirit too.”
Adagio looked up from the tangled mass of curls and Christmas lights she currently had in her hands and glared at Sonata. “#$!% that and #$!% you!”
Sonata took a step back, her eyes going wide. She quickly ducked behind Aria, glancing over Aria’s shoulder as she gave Adagio a scared look.
Even Aria looked at Adagio in surprise. “Whoa, Adagio… chillout…” she said as she held up her hands. “It was just a harmless prank!”
Adagio continued to struggle against her hair. “Harmless?! HARMLESS!? This whole stupid house has just been flooded with all this Christmas garbage for the last month, and now not even my own room or hairis safe from it!” Adagio focused her amethyst-colored eyes directly at Aria. “Don’t pretend you don’t hate it, too! You almost never stop complaining about it.”
Aria heard a whimper from right next to her ear. She gritted her teeth before replying. “Alright… but… It’s just one more day…”
“NO!” Adagio screamed. “I’m through just gritting my teeth and baring it.” Adagio stepped up to Aria so she could stare directly at Sonata. Sonata let out a tiny squeak and ducked her whole head behind Aria.
“DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU DERANGED IDIOT?!” Adagio screamed. “I’M STICK OF THIS RIDICULOUS HUMAN HOLIDAY YOU FORCE US TO ENDURE YEAR AFTER YEAR! IF YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE IT, FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT YOURSELF WITHOUT DRAGGING US ALONG!”
“Adagio…” Aria uttered as she pulled up the left side of her mouth and narrowed her left eyelid. “That’s my ear.”
Adagio sneered at Aria and took a few steps back.
The sounds of Sonata sobbing could be heard.
Adagio’s expression suddenly shifted into a wicked smile. “Awww…. Did I hwurt the widdle baby’s fweelings? Is shwe gonna cwy? Come on! Cry!”
Sobbing soon turned into full-on bawling.
“WOUHAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!”
Aria glared up at Adagio. “Alright, I think she gets it.”
“Ugh… whatever…” Adagio huffed out. “Just…” she pulled at the Christmas lights in her hair once more. “Just help me get this out, and keep the moron away from me!” With that Adagio turned and stomped her way back towards the stairs.
Aria let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll get a brush!” she called after Adagio.
From behind Aria, Sonata rubbed her eyes as she slowly began to regain some control. “Should I… sob… Should I… choke… Should I help?”
Aria turned, holding her hands in front of her. “Just… just give Adagio a little space for now, alright? I’m sure she’ll calm down when I fix her hair.”
“But…” Sonata reached for her pony tail and began clinging at it and stroking it. “But what do I do?”
“Just… I don’t know… just sit down and watch whatever is on T.V., alright? We’ll be down in a bit.”
Sonata managed a weak smile. “And then we can open presents, right?”
Aria let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know Sonata… You’ll just have to wait and see…”
“Oh…” Sonata said meekly as she hung her head. “Okay…”
“WHAT’S TAKING SO FREAKIN’ LONG?!” Adagio cried from upstairs.
Aria turned and shouted back, “I’M COMING, ALRIGHT?!” She began to march towards the stairs. “Stupid girl just thinks everyone is her slave…” she muttered under her breath.
“… Aria?” Sonata asked in a tiny voice.
Aria stopped and glanced behind her.
“I know you complain about all the Christmas stuff but… You don’t really hate it, do you?”
Aria turned and faced forward, sighed, and began walking away. She ignored Sonata’s whimpers as she made her way to the stairs.
-ooooooo-
Adagio quickly marched down the stairs, her hair back to its normal, fluffy, glorious self and her lingerie that helped highlight her drop-dead gorgeous body swapped out for a simple gray hoodie and some jeans. She also wore a purple parka.
Aria followed close behind, her hair done up in two ponytails as was the norm, and her outfit almost the same as Adagio’s save she wore a bright-blue parka.
Sonata was waiting for both of them downstairs, a massive grin on her face. “You’re done finally! Now we can open—”
“Get out of my face,” Adagio ordered as she descended the final steps of the stairs.
Aria stopped on the stairs as she watched Adagio shot daggers at Sonata with her eyes.
Sonata puffed out her lower lip. “I’m… I didn’t mean to—”
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Adagio said in a sing-song tone she often used when she was being sarcastic. Adagio motioned out with both hands to the house. “Was all this obnoxiously colorful garbage for our benefit?”
Sonata’s lip began to quiver. “I…”
“Were all the songs we have to listen to nonstop and images of fat men in red suits, elves, reindeer, and snowmen supposed to make our hearts grow three sizes and maybe we’d forget you’re a hopeless idiot who just screws up everything all the time?!”
Pools of water began to form in Sonata’s eyes. “I…”
“Whoa, Adagio…” Aria said as she took a few steps forward and placed a hand on Adagio’s shoulders. “Calm down. I mean… She is a hopeless idiot, but you’re being really—”
Adagio shrugged off Aria’s hand and glanced up at her. “Honest?” She suggested. “Look, I know you’re so busy being obnoxiously depressing all the time that all these ridiculous Christmas decorations become one more thing for you to hate, but it doesn’t mean we have to put up with all this stuff being all over the house…”
Sonata sniffed heavily as tears fell freely from her cheeks. “But I just wanted to share Christmas with you two…”
Adagio’s angry expression suddenly changed to a devilish smile. “Well some things, like the contents of a colostomy bag or STDs, are better kept to yourself.”
Sonata’s eyes went wide.
“Whoa… harsh…” Aria said.
“Oh please,” Adagio said as she turned to face Aria. “I know you’ve wanted to say the same stuff this entire time. But you’re too busy enjoying your own misery to actually just tell Sonata clearly how you feel!”
Aria narrowed her eyes as her cheeks began to flush with redness. She clenched her fists, but said nothing.
“Guys… don’t fight…” Sonata pleaded in a small voice. “We’re not supposed to fight on Christmas…”
Adagio turned and glared at Sonata. “I don’t care if it’s Judgment Day! I’m sick of Christmas and I’m sick of you! Aria and I are going to give ourselves the gifts of being away from you! You can do whatever stupid thing you want to inside of the house while we’re gone.”
Sonata looked down at the floor as tears continued to stream down her face. “But we’re… we’re supposed to be together…” she said quietly.
“What?” Aria said with a confused expression. “There’s nothing open today, Adagio.”
“There’s a few coffee shops open today,” Adagio informed. “I looked it up,” She said as she stormed away from the stairs and heading for the front door. “Come on, let’s get out of here…”
Aria took a few steps until she was off the stairs and stared at Sonata as she stood in place, sobbing quietly to herself.
“NOW, ARIA!” Adagio roared from the house’s entrance.
Aria shook her head and walked up to the front door.
Adagio and Aria soon stepped out in what could accurately be described as a winter wonderland. A small layer of snow covered the ground and scores of inflatable Christmas characters waved as Christmas jingles played.
Adagio took the effort to spit into the face of a smiling St. Giver as the two girls trudged down the snow-covered walkway towards the sidewalk.
-oooooo-
An arm covered in a red robe slowly snaked its way under a pillow with a green pillow case that had the word ‘Merry’ printed on it. The arm soon slowly emerged from the pillow, attached to a hand that was holding a wrapped taco.
Sonata sat up on her bed and unfolded the wrapping around the taco. It was one of many that she hid in the room in case she needed to hide herself from the other girls, or just wanted a snack and didn’t feel like going down to the fridge. She took a bite of the room-temperature piece of fast food and grinned.
Aged to perfection, she thought. Not that there was anything wrong with fresh tacos, but somehow the tacos that she had hidden away in her room always gave her a happy feeling she couldn’t quite explain.
Sonata had soon finished her taco, licking her fingertips as she scanned her room. Her room was every bit as decorated as the rest of the house. Possibly more so since no one cared if she covered every surface area with holiday knick-knacks.
Sonata crinkled the taco’s wrapping paper into a ball and tossed the rolled-up wrapper at a small garbage can. The paper bounced off the sides and into a pile of similar-looking wrappers that had been left on the floor.
Sonata rubbed her red and puffy eyes as she turned to stare at a snow globe on her desk. The snow globe was one of her favorites items she got to break out this time of year. It featured St. Giver on a sleigh being pulled by his reindeer. He waved out the globe as he drove his sleigh high in the clouds, the words ‘Merry Christmas’ printed on them.
Sonata smiled faintly as she looked over the jolly man in the snow globe. She could practically hear him say—
“Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Sonata’s eyes went wide as the tiny figure in the globe below bellowed out a “Merry Christmas!”
“St. Giver! You’re real!” Sonata exclaimed. She stood to her feet and stepped up to the globe. She grinned excitedly as she brought her face a few inches from the glass.
“Of course I’m real! You said it yourself! I live in the heart of every little boy and girl!”
Sonata nodded her head up and down vigorously. “Still! I can’t believe you’re here talking to me!”
“I always show up to help those in need who have Christmas spirit. Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Sonata’s face lit up. “And I have Christmas spirit?!” she asked excitedly.
“You have true Christmas spirit, Sonata. Perhaps the truest of any other person on this planet.”
Sonata frowned. “Okay… if that’s true, how come you never bring me presents and it was Adagio and Aria who got me gifts all those years?”
“Well Sonata… While you have true Christmas spirit, you spend the rest of the year getting people to fight, manipulating people’s emotions for personal gain, and fantasizing about either ruling the planet, or killing everyone on it.”
“Oh… and that’s… naughty?”
St. Giver nodded solemnly. “Unspeakably so.”
Sonata hung her head and gave St. Giver a sorrowful look. “I’m sorry…”
St. Giver shook his head. “Well, you can’t help who you are. You are a monster who feeds on other’s negative emotions after all.”
“I know but… but… I want presents!”
“But you have presents! Your friends still get them for you every year.”
“I know… but like… they only get them for me because they think they have to! Because they think I’ll lock myself in my room until I run out of tacos if they don’t…”
St. Giver folded his arms across his chest as his bushy eyebrows and whiskers framed a stern look. “Isn’t that because one year you did exactly that?”
Sonata sighed. “Yeah… That was also the year they told me you weren’t real… And I maybe got so mad I set the kitchen on fire.”
St. Giver wagged his finger at Sonata. “That was a very naughty thing to do.”
“I know…” Sonata said as she fell back onto her bed and hung her head. She looked up at St. Giver with a pleading look. “I just… I just want them to try being nice for one day out of the year! Is that so wrong?”
“Well, no,” St. Giver said as he stroked his beard. “But you can’t force others to have the Christmas spirit. At best you can show them the error of their ways and hope they find the spirit within themselves.”
Sonata gasped. “Like in a Christmas Carol!” She grinned devilishly, then wrung her hands together. “I could find some homeless people and pay them to dress up as ghosts! Then have them sneak into Adagio’s and Aria’s bedrooms and pretend to haunt them! Then all I need to setup some sort of virtual reality program that reads their memories then and projects them into a 3D setting that looks so real, they’ll think the ghosts have actually taken them to different time periods!”
“Ho! Ho! Ho! Sonata, even you know that plan is far too convoluted and complex for you to pull off. Much of what you mentioned doesn’t even exist yet!”
Sonata hung her head. “Yeah, I know…” She suddenly looked up, a big smile on her face. “Hey! Maybe you can get real ghosts to haunt them! Then I don’t have to do anything! It’s the perfect plan!”
“Ho! Ho! Ho! Or you can trust those two will at least realize how much this day means to you and how much you mean to them.”
“But… all they do is make fun of me!” Sonata exclaimed. “I don’t think they like me at all! And to be honest, I’m not really sure I like them either! But we have to stay together! Our powers don’t work good when we’re not all together!”
“Sonata… You can’t choose who your family is. Your family is those who raised you, those who grew up with you, or sometimes those who have been banished to the same dimension with you after you wrought misery and strife on another world.”
Sonata blinked a few times. “Oh… so like… We don’t like each other, but sometimes family is all you got?”
St. Giver nodded. “Think about all the Christmas specials you’ve watched? How often are all those people getting along?”
Sonata’s eyes went wide. “Almost never! They spend most of each show arguing with each other and saying mean, but funny, things to each other! Just like we do!”
“Ho! Ho! Ho! Exactly! And how do those Christmas specials end?”
Sonata’s face exploded into a dazzling smile. “With everyone hugging and happy that they’re together!” She frowned. “But… Adagio and Aria don’t hug… and they have a hard time with ‘happy’. I mean… especially Aria…”
St. Giver shrugged. “Well, sometimes you just have to hope your loved ones find the Christmas spirit on their own, and then take what you get.”
Sonata nodded. “Thanks St. Giver! I feel a lot better! Next year, I’ll be sure to be a good girl so I end up on the nice list!”
St. Giver wagged a finger at Sonata. “Sonata, you know you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Sonata pursed her lips slightly. “I’m sorry St. Giver. You’re right… maybe I should take it one step at a time… Like stop making fun of old people because they’re all wrinkly and stuff.”
St. Giver nodded. “That’s better.”
Sonata waved. “Goodbye St. Giver! Merry Christmas!”
St. Giver smiled wide and waved back. “Goodbye Sonata! Meeerrrry Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Sonata watched as St. Giver suddenly stopped talking and stopped moving, once again becoming a stationary figure inside her snow globe.
Sonata smiled as she stared out her window into the lawn that was covered in lights and various inflatable Christmas figures. “Now all I need to do is wait and hope Adagio and Aria come back having discovered the true meaning of Christmas!” Sonata frowned heavily. “I think… I think I need another taco…”
-ooooooo-
Adagio grumbled irritably to herself as she stuffed a couple dollars into a jar marked ‘tips’.
A woman with long flowing baby-blue-and-light-blue hair in a green apron smiled at Adagio. “Happy Holidays!”
“Yeah… yeah…” Adagio uttered in reply as she turned and walked away.
“Whoa! You actually left a tip?!” Aria exclaimed from a nearby table as she gently lowered her mug.
“It’s Christmas, Scrooge McDuck,” Adagio answered as she walked over to the table and sat down a large, bowl-shaped mug piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles. “Would it kill you to show some of that compassion garbage for a single day?”
Aria’s eyes widened in surprise as Adagio took the seat across from her. “After all the yelling you did today!? You can’t be serious…”
“I am,” Adagio said. She glanced over her shoulder staring at a man dressed as St. Giver, who stood in front of the coffee shop ringing a bell. “Mostly because I’m not entirely sure if Sonata is shadowing us dressed as a snowman or something equally ridiculous and there’s a chance she’ll be out for blood.” Adagio turned back to Aria. “Remember the year she almost broke my wrist because I told that awful-smelling bum to get lost instead of giving him some cash?”
Aria chuckled as she took a sip from her mug. “Yeah, he had a big white beard and Sonata was convinced he was St. Giver in disguise. What did we end up giving him? A hundred dollars? Two hundred?”
Adagio sipped her coffee, sat it on the table, and shook her head. “I was too busy wondering if I’d need a cast to care… and trying to get Sonata off his lap… If only Sonata could channel that potentially violent energy into helping us instead of using it to torment us this time of year…”
“Ugh, totally…” Aria uttered in agreement. “She can’t manage shoelaces most of the time, but somehow around December she can suddenly climb a ladder onto an icy roof to hang Christmas lights and set up obnoxiously colorful inflatable characters…”
“At least that’s not as bad as the presents. I mean… we can just buy what we want when we want it, or even do a little singing to have someone just hand it over… It’s not like she gets us anything we need.”
Aria sighed. “Piles of ugly Christmas sweaters, useless kitchen gadgets, and the occasional stupid dog that does backflips…”
Adagio narrowed her eyes. “I liked the dog…”
“Don’t tell me you still have that ridiculous thing!”
Adagio’s face flushed slightly. “Shut up, Aria! It’s cute! Is it alright if I like the occasional cute thing, Little Miss Mad at the World?!”
Aria put her hands up defensively. “Alright, Dagi! Keep your panties on!”
“Besides,” Adagio said, “it’s not like she’s never gotten something thoughtful for you!”
Aria rolled her eyes. “Name one thing.”
Adagio looked at Aria in disbelief. “Seriously? You don’t remember?”
“Remember what, Adagio? You said it yourself, Sonata never gets us anything we need.”
Adagio nodded. “Yes, ‘need’. She still tries and occasionally succeeds in getting something we like or that makes our lives easier.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“The coffee maker, you idiot!” Adagio cried. “She got that for you a few Christmases ago!”
“That’s stupid!” Aria insisted. “We already had a coffee maker, and it worked fine.”
“Yeah, one where you had to figure out how much coffee and water you needed. Plus you had to use a filter.” Adagio tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. “You used to spend every morning trying and failing to make a decent cup of coffee all while making a horrible mess and being more miserable than usual.” Adagio looked back down. “I got so fed up with it that I started sleeping in an extra hour just to hope by the time I got up you somehow had something drinkable brewed and were tolerable to talk to.”
“Oh… uh… yeah…” Aria said as she stared at the floor. “I guess… I guess I really never noticed… that all stopped...”
Adagio shook her head. “Now you just put in a cup, press a few buttons, and get your coffee. A few minutes later and you could do that thing where you repress your natural desire to physically and verbally assault everyone well enough to actually hold down a conversation.”
Aria folded her arms across her chest and grumbled irritably to herself, continuing to stare at the floor.
“Speaking of coffee, last Christmas she got you that stupid ‘antidote’ mug you now use all the time… You actually smiled like an idiot the first time you saw it!”
Aria furrowed her brow, but to Adagio’s surprise she didn’t look up to return an insult. She simply stared at the floor as if she was angry with it. Adagio squinted slightly. She’s not… she’s not actually mad at herself, is she?
Adagio took a few more sips of her drink, until she could no longer stand Aria simply glaring at the floor. “Alright, what’s with that stupid look? What did the floor ever do to you?”
Aria looked up and stared out the entrance of the coffee shop to the man dressed as St. Giver. She watched as a smiling couple stopped to drop a few dollars into the man’s bucket. He thanked them with a few rings of his bell and a “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!”
Adagio turned to look where Aria was looking, then shoot a confused look at Aria. “Alright, seriously… Don’t tell me the thought that Sonata can occasionally randomly pick something we like out of all the gifts she gets us every year has got you all misty-eyed.”
“No… it’s…” Aria’s expression softened and she turned towards Adagio. “Do you think… do you think Sonata wants to celebrate Christmas for some reason besides her being a complete moron?”
“You’re joking, right?” Adagio said as a smirk made its way onto her face. “Sonata’s been like a five-year-old stuck in a teenager’s body since she got here! She’s just getting caught up in all the presents and stupid lights like any other dumb child.”
“… Okay but what if… What if she… Oh, I don’t know…”
Adagio frowned. “You’re going to say something stupid, aren’t you?”
“Dagi, shut up for a second!”
“Fine,” Adagio said, “but that’s all I’m getting you for Christmas.”
Aria rolled her eyes. “Whatever… Look, what if Sonata’s doing all this as some sort of stupid attempt to get us to spend time together…”
“I knew you’d say something stupid. We spend time together all the freakin’ time, unfortunately! We share a house and go out—” Adagio shot a few suspicious glances around the coffee shop and leaned forward “—singing together,” she finished in a hushed tone.
“Okay, so we suffer each other’s company out of necessity… but this time of year Sonata always seems like she’s trying to get us to sit down and… do different stuff.”
“Ridiculous stuff, you mean.”
“Yes, it’s all really freakin’ stupid… but… I don’t know… Do you think she does it because she’s trying to get us to enjoy being together?” Aria turned away from Adagio and stared at a group of young and middle-aged adults who happily conversed, showing off whatever latest Smartphone or gadget they had gotten that morning. “You know… I guess like a family would…”
Adagio opened her mouth to respond with something snide, but nothing came out. She turned and followed Aria’s eyes to the same group of sickeningly happy-looking people.
For a while, neither siren said anything.
Adagio pushed away from the table, her chair scraping against the floor as she stood up. “Come on… Let’s go home before the idiot strangles herself with Christmas lights.”
Aria raised an eyebrow as she stood up. “Because you upset her, or because she’s an idiot and just might accidentally do that?”
Adagio sighed heavily as she walked towards the exit. “Just… just come on…”
Adagio and Aria left the coffee shop and stepped back onto the snow-covered walkway, walking in silence as they made their way back to their LED-light-covered home.
After a bit of a walk unusually devoid of either girl grumbling or complaining about the decorations that seemed to be everywhere, Adagio broke the silence. “I didn’t really mean it…” she said.
“… Mean what?”
“That me being quiet for a second was all you’re getting for Christmas…” Adagio said, trailing off.
The girls traveled in silence for a few more seconds.
“… Is it a stupid backflipping dog?” Aria asked.
“NO IT’S NOT A DOG… You hate dogs… and pretty much everything else… You are just the worst person to shop for…”
Aria chuckled. “Like you’re easy to get stuff for either…”
“Please, at least I like something.”
“Yeah, yourself.”
Adagio lifted her arms up in a shrug. “So?! That makes it easy!”
“It used to be easy, you mean!” Aria cried. “Now your room looks like a freakin’ hall of mirrors!”
Adagio chuckled. “Alright, you got me… At least Sonata’s the easiest person in the world to shop for…”
“No kidding,” Aria agreed. “Any stupid toy or thing that makes noise makes her happy. Or food…”
“Hah! I remember the year you went out and got two dozen tacos, put them in a box, wrapped it, and placed it under the tree! Sonata was beside herself with joy that year.”
A small smile began to make its way onto Aria’s face. “I still can’t believe Sonata didn’t get sick from eating those! They sat there for almost a day just in the house! Still…watching her hallucinate was kinda fun.”
“Pffft… Are you kidding? That imbecile keeps tacos stashed in her room! Who knows how old some of them are or what she sees when she eats them. After all this time, her immune system must murder anything that would make any other person sick.”
Aria and Adagio shared a laugh as the familiar jingle of Christmas songs filled the air. The pair walked up to their front door. Elves, reindeer, snowmen, and one spat-on St. Giver flanked them. All smiling and waving, but looking at them with eyes the felt oddly judgmental this time around.
“Think she’s mad?” Adagio asked as she walked up to the front door.
“At you, maybe,” Aria replied.
“She put lights in my hair!” Adagio cried.
“Yeah, well… She was just trying to get you into the spirit of things… and you screamed at her…”
Adagio sighed. “Alright, I was a little harsh,” she admitted.
“… On Christmas,” Aria added.
“I get it, Aria.”
“… The one day of the year Sonata values above all else… even her birthday.”
“Okay! I’ll apologize! Shut up!” Adagio snapped. She turned to the front door and cautiously pushed it open. She stepped into the colorfully lit entry way.
“Sonata?” Adagio cried out. “Are you there?”
The T.V. answered with “Merry Christmas, you old Building and Loan!”
Aria stepped in after Adagio, her eyes drifting across the inside of the home as she looked for any sign of life.
“Sonata?” Adagio tried again as Aria closed the door behind the girls. “I’m sorry I got mad. We can open presents now… Where are…?”
‘Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…’
Adagio tensed as she heard the sounds of someone sprinting down the stairs. She looked up just in time to see Sonata rushing towards her with a huge grin on her face. “Sonata! Slow down, I—GHA!”
Sonata opened her arms wide right before she collided with Adagio and wrapped her arms around her. The two went toppling to the ground.
“WELCOME BACK!” Sonata exclaimed.
“Ow…” Adagio uttered.
Aria looked down at the two girls and smirked. “Oh shut up, your hair cushioned the fall.”
“Oh, HaHa,” Adagio answered sarcastically from the ground. “You’re just so hilario—”
“SURPRISE!”
“Ah!” Aria cried as Sonata suddenly rose to her feet and leapt at her, brandishing a pair of fake antlers. She soon found said antlers on top of her head as Sonata grinned from ear to ear.
Aria narrowed her eyes at Sonata. “I’m not doing the nose this year…”
Sonata puffed out her lower lip, it began to tremble. “But… but…”
“Ugh, fine… but just for a few pictures and while we sing Rudolph, alright?”
“Yay!” Sonata said triumphantly.
Adagio got up to her feet. “Now that we have that ridiculous yearly ritual taken care of…” Adagio trailed off as she noticed Sonata looking at her with a puppy dog look. She narrowed her eyes. “No!”
Sonata’s eyes began to water.
“Absolutely not!” Adagio insisted.
Sonata’s chest began to raise and fall as small, pathetic sobs escaped her.
“FINE!” Adagio snapped. “Get the stupid lights! But Aria’s helping you put them in my hair so they’re not such a pain to remove this time!”
Aria chuckled. “Sounds good to me.”
Sonata’s expression immediately did a 180 as she stared at Adagio. “For realzies?!”
“Just… let’s get this over with, alright?”
“Double yay!” Sonata cried as she zipped into the kitchen.
Aria shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re going to let Sonata turn you into a walking Christmas tree.”
Adagio sighed heavily. “It’s just for one day.”
Aria smirked. “And now every Christmas from now until the end of time.”
Adagio frowned heavily. “Thanks for sucking all the fun out of being immortal.”
Sonata suddenly popped up and began wrapping lights around Adagio’s hair.
“Anytime, Dagi,” Aria replied as she began to help Sonata with the lights. “Anytime.”
-oooooo-
Adagio and Aria stat on the house’s purple couch, both now wearing holiday sweaters and ankle deep in colorful wrapping paper as a number of toys and packaging littered the room. Adagio’s hair glowed with the light of many LEDs, joined by a red nose on Aria’s face.
“You look ridiculous in that,” Adagio commented shaking her head.
Aria smirked. “Big talk from a walking Christmas tree.”
Adagio sighed heavily. “At least she didn’t break out the ornaments…”
“FOUND ANOTHER ONE~!” Sonata sang as she emerged from the wrapping paper. “And it’s heavy…” Sonata hefted a box out of the mass of paper and dropped it onto Aria’s lap. “It’s from Adagio!” Sonata said excitedly.
Aria looked down at the colorful, but horribly wrapped box in front of her. The box almost looked like there was as much tape covering it as wrapping paper.
As if reading her mind, Adagio spoke up. “Hey, wrapping presents is a useless skill, alright? Be happy I got you anything…”
Aria began to expressionlessly tear at the tape and paper on the box. “I’ll save being happy for if there’s nothing that jumps, bites, burns, or stings in here…”
Adagio chuckled. “I’m saving the scorpion monster that breathes fire for your birthday.”
Aria pulled away the wrapping paper and tape and unceremoniously discarded it into the pile in front of her. She soon was able to open the large, plain brown box on her lap and pulled up several rectangular-shaped items sporting pictures of serious looking people, explosions, weapons of all sorts, and buckets of blood sprayed everywhere.
“Video games!” Sonata exclaimed. “Wow, so many… But you already have like every video game ever made ever!”
“I know!” Adagio groaned. “Aria is such a pain to shop for.”
“Adagio!” Aria cried in a surprised tone. “I mean… I do have most of these but… There must be several thousand dollars’ worth of games in here!”
“You have too many stupid games, alright!” Adagio shot back. “Like hell I was going to take the time to figure out something you didn’t have! Look… the receipt is in there! Just return whatever you already have and figure out your own stupid present.”
Aria dug into the box and came up with a long receipt. She stared at it briefly. “You didn’t get a gift receipt… in fact, you left all the price stickers on these…”
“Oh like you don’t know how much each one costs!” Adagio snapped angrily.
Sonata looked back and forth between Adagio and Aria with a concerned look. “Girls… don’t fight… What would St. Giver think?”
Aria chuckled and shook her head as she placed the box of games down in front of her. “It’s alright Sonata, there’s at least a few games here I want to try, and I can pretty much buy anything I want with everything I return…” She looked up at Adagio. “Thanks, Dagi.”
“Uh… you’re welcome…” Adagio replied as she attempted to rub the back of her head. She frowned and wrinkled her brow as she put her hand on the strand of Christmas lights wrapped around her hair.
“Alright, my turn…” Aria said as she turned behind her.
Adagio crinkled her brow as she watched Aria bring up a several foot long, flat, rectangular item covered in shimmering gold wrapping paper. Aria handed it to her.
Adagio took the item and quickly tore through the wrapping paper. She found herself staring at herself, except the other her was lounging on her bed, wearing purple lingerie, and smiling seductively back at her.
“… This is a photo of me… looking sexy… blown up and framed…” Adagio said as she glanced at the ornate gold frame.
Aria smiled and rolled her eyes. “And I guess that’s why you’re the leader of this little operation, Dagi. Nothing gets past you.”
Adagio looked up from the picture and shot Aria a confused look. “I… Okay, while the best gift ever, you would have had to have snuck into my closet and waited there until I got changed and started posing in front of a mirror!”
Aria shook her head. “Don’t be stupid. I got Sonata to do it. I wasn’t going to waste a few hours held up in your closet.”
Sonata giggled. “She did! She totes got me to do it.” She frowned. “It was kind of fun until you started moaning your own name and touching yourself…”
Aria nodded. “Reason number two why I didn’t do it.”
“Huh…” Adagio uttered as realization set on her face. “So that’s why there were animal cracker crumbs inside my closet…” Adagio suddenly looked at Aria in surprise. “Wait… you made Sonata sneak into my room just to take this for a gift?!”
“Of course not!” Aria said. “I was going to use all pictures and videos Sonata took to blackmail you until I came to my senses and remembered you’re shameless and would probably encourage me to spread all of it onto the internet.”
Adagio stared at Aria, giving her a very serious look. “Did you… did you save any of the other pictures and videos?”
Aria rolled her eyes, smirked, and pulled out a small memory card from her pocket, handing it to Adagio. “Merry Christmas, you crazy narcissist.”
Adagio wordlessly accepted the memory card and placed it into her hoodie’s front pocket.
Sonata gleefully picked up the picture. “Where should we put it?!”
Aria narrowed her eyes slightly. “Adagio’s bedroo—”
“The mantel,” Adagio interrupted.
Aria and Adagio turned and glared at each other.
“… Erm…” Sonata grinned nervously. “We’ll just figure that out later…” she said as she put the painting aside. Sonata turned and grinned widely at the two girls.
Aria wrinkled her brow slightly. “Soanta, what’s with that stupid smile?”
“There’s just one more thing I want for Christmas.”
Aria raised an eyebrow. “A robot that plays tennis?”
Adagio groaned. “Sonata, if you say ‘pony’, I swear to God’ I’ll…”
“No!” Sonata opened her arms wide. “A hug!”
Aria and Adagio turned towards each other, gave out defeated sighs, and stood up.
Soon Sonata had both girls in a tight embrace.
“Well this sucks…” Aria muttered as she put her arms around Sonata and Adagio
“It certainly does,” Adagio agreed as she too put her arms around the other girls.
Sonata continued to beam from ear to ear. “And St. Giver bless us, every—”
“Sonata?” Adagio interrupted.
“Yes, Adagio?”
“Just shut up and quietly enjoy the fact you got the three of us to hug for once, alright?”
“Oh… Okay!” Sonata said cheerily as she squeezed extra tight.
-ooooooo-
The End and Merry Christmas.
