Christmas was approaching fast, and for one group of friends, the time had come had come to take a brief reprieve from the mad rush of the season. Applejack had invited them all, as well as those dearest to them, to her home at Sweet Apple Acres for the evening, and they’d all gathered there and were basking in the warmth of friends and family.
Well, almost all of them were.
Sunset Shimmer stood on the porch, staring vacantly into the backyard where Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were running around like children, pelting each other with snowballs and giggling. Sunset let out a heavy sigh. As much as she needed cheering up, she could not muster up the energy or willpower to go and join her friends.
Her friends? Could she even call them that, could she even use that word anymore? A few weeks ago, She was sure they wanted to help her change, sure that they could see that she was changing. But now? Now she wasn’t sure of anything. She wasn’t even sure she’d ever be sure of anything ever again.
She took out her phone to check the time, and found herself staring at it, her hands shaking. It looked like just another object, like it was nothing important, but she remembered all too clearly how it had been used to hurt her. This phone had been the centerpiece of a scandal that had nearly destroyed every bit of progress she’d made towards putting the sins of the past behind her, and had left her, quite literally, without a friend in the world.
Eventually the true culprits had confessed, and Sunset’s name had been cleared. But the secrets were out, the damage had been done. Her friends had accepted her back, but once they did, they’d never talked about what had happened with her, not a single word.
In some ways, that was the worst part. All the fears and doubts that had blossomed in the wake of the incident had continued to prey on her mind even after her innocence had been proven, and she had precious little to assuage her fears. Her friends never talked about it. She wished they would.
After the battle of the bands, she thought she’d found a place to fit in, friends who she belonged with. Now she wasn’t sure this world had any place for her, or if she really had friends at all.
She took a sip of her cocoa, and let out another sigh.
“Something on your mind, darling?”
Sunset nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn’t heard Rarity approach.
“Oh, terribly sorry, darling,” Rarity apologized. “I hadn’t meant to creep up on you like that. Are you quite alright?”
“After what’s happened lately,” Sunset replied, “should I be?”
“Understood,” Rarity said softly. “Maybe you should come inside? We’ll be handing out presents soon.”
Sunset shook her head. “Thanks, but I don’t think there’s anything in there for me.”
“You might be surprised,” Rarity replied cheerfully.
Sunset took a moment to reply.
“I... I’ll think about it, okay?”
Rarity nodded softly. “I understand. But I do hope to see you inside. Oh, and would you be a dear and pass the message along to Rainbow and Pinkie? I don’t quite feel like trying to chase them down.”
Sunset didn’t quite feel like it either, but she agreed to anyway. She didn’t feel like doing much of anything right now. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t even want to be here.
As she strolled over to the spot where Rainbow Dash had mercifully decided to hold still for a moment, Sunset Shimmer felt the first pangs of hunger, and plucked the carrot nose off the nearby snowman. It was hardly ideal, but it was the only thing out there which even remotely resembled food, and she definitely wasn’t ready to go inside.
“Hey, Dash. Rarity says they’ll be doing presents soon.”
Dash looked at Sunset and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, does that explain why you’re eating the nose off Apple Bloom’s snowman?”
“Just wanted to make sure she had something to blog about,” Sunset replied bitterly. Apple Bloom was where the whole mess had started. Sunset thought she’d forgiven her, but now, hearing what had come out of her mouth, she wasn’t so sure.
“No,” Dash said, “I just mean they’ve probably got carrots inside. Ones that haven’t been exposed to the elements for like half a week.”
Sunset dropped the carrot.
“I don’t think I’m going back in there. I’m not sure I really belong here anymore.”
“It’s a party!” Pinkie chimed in. “Why wouldn’t you be welcome?”
“It’s not just tonight,” Sunset replied. “I’m starting to think this world doesn’t have a place for me. I might not be around much longer.”
“Oh,” Rainbow Dash said flatly. Then, with a sudden burst of speed, she grabbed Sunset’s arms and forced them behind her back, holding them in place so Sunset could neither try to fight back nor break free. “PINKIE!” she shouted, “GET APPLEJACK, GET FLUTTERSHY, GET RARITY, GO GO GO!”
“Roger dodger!” Pinkie responded, firing off a playful salute before darting inside in search of their friends.
Sunset struggled ineffectually against Dash’s grip.
“You’re hurting me,” she protested.
“Only so you don’t hurt yourself worse!” Rainbow Dash snapped.
“What?”
“You said you were gonna end your time in this world, and I’m not letting you do that!”
Sunset Shimmer almost laughed.
“Rainbow, I meant that literally. I’m thinking of going back to Equestria, back to the world I came from.”
“Oh,” Rainbow Dash replied, dumbfounded. “Well... That’s not okay either!”
“Please let go.”
Dash thought about it for a moment before releasing her grip. “All right, but if you try to bolt, I’m putting you on the ground. We both know I’m stronger and faster, so don’t think for a second I’ll let you get away.”
Sunset hung her head. “All right,” she said, as though she had some say in the matter.
“Great,” Rainbow Dash replied, placing a hand gently on Sunset’s shoulder. “Now how about you tell me what’s bugging you?”
“I’m... Not sure it’s something we can talk about,” Sunset answered nervously,
“Come on, this is ME we’re talking about,” Dash replied with a grin. “Lemme guess, you’re wondering how you can be as awesome as me, but you’re scared I might not want competition.”
“Not quite,” Sunset responded flatly.
“Waiting for me to try to cheer you up so you could refuse to smile?”
“Dash, this isn’t about you.”
“Well, duh! But if you’re not gonna tell me what it IS about, what am I supposed to do?”
There was a brief, awkward silence.
“...It’s a little bit about you,” Sunset admitted.
“Sounds like I did something that wasn’t so awesome,” Dash said, all the smugness vanishing from her voice.
“Can we wait and talk about it when everyone’s here?” Sunset asked,
“I guess that’s fair,” Rainbow replied, withdrawing her hand, and they fell into another awkward silence, this one lasting until their friends came out to join them.
Rainbow turned to the door as their friends came out to join them, and Sunset saw her chance. Summoning all her strength, she ran as fast as she could. However, it wasn’t fast enough. Sunset had given herself a head start, but Dash’s attention had only strayed for a few seconds. As promised, she was faster and stronger, and as promised, she had little difficulty wrestling Sunset to the ground. As she placed her body atop Sunset’s, using her weight to hold her down, their friends scurried over and gathered around, gaping and chattering in surprise.
It took a moment before things settled down enough for them to talk, but eventually someone addressed the issue at hand.
“Um, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy asked tentatively, “why are you holding Sunset Shimmer down?”
“Because she’s a flight risk,” Dash humorlessly replied.
“You shouldn’t have to put up with me,” Sunset said.
Rarity looked down, frowning. “Rainbow Dash, release her.”
“You sure?” Rainbow Dash protested. “I mean, what if--?”
“I said let her up!” Rarity snapped. This time Dash complied instantly. Rarity might have been the frou-frou type, but she was scary when she was mad.
With Rainbow Dash removed from her back, Sunset rose to her hands and knees. When she looked up, there was Applejack, holding out a hand to help her to her feet.
“Why in the world would you think we didn't like you anymore, sugarcube?”
Sunset rose unsteadily to her feet. She tried not to stare at the ground, but found she couldn’t look anyone in the eye.
She felt a lump in her throat, but managed to get out a few words. “It’s... Complicated.”
For the second time that night, she felt a hand on her shoulder. The softer grip and gentle stroking of the thumb told her it was Fluttershy this time rather than Rainbow Dash.
“It’s okay,” Fluttershy gently reassured. “You can take as long as you need to explain. We’re not going anywhere without you.”
Sunset took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.
“We need to talk.”
“Ooh! Ooh! Can I go first?” Pinkie Pie inquired, bouncing in place. “I love talking! I’m real good at it!”
Rainbow Dash ignored Pinkie Pie completely. “What’s up, Sunset?”
Sunset closed her eyes and gathered her courage.
“We need to talk about the whole ‘Anon-a-Miss’ thing.”
“Ah don’t see why,” Applejack replied. “Ah mean it’s over, ain’t it? Rumor mill’s shut down, you proved you ain’t the one that done it, Ah think we got ourselves a happy lil’ endin’ here. It’s in the ground, sugarcube. Can’t hurt you no more.”
“It never STOPPED hurting me,” Sunset said. She felt herself shaking just a little, and tried to force herself to believe she was just shivering from the cold.
“Oh, dear,” Rarity fretted. “What’s wrong? Did those three do something else to hurt you that we weren’t aware of?”
Sunset shook her head.
“It’s not them. It’s you...”
“Wait,” Dash protested, “you’re mad at us after all?”
“Of course not,” Sunset replied. “You’ve all forgiven me for much worse things. I’m just scared, worried. We never talked about it.”
“Well, no,” Pinkie replied, “but it’s not like we need to forgive you for something you didn’t do, right?”
“I thought it’d just hurt more if I mentioned it,” Fluttershy added.
“What hurts,” Sunset said, fighting back tears, “is when it starts feeling like you’re my parole officers and not my friends! When the people I care about don’t give me the benefit of the doubt! When it feels like all the progress I thought I’d made since the Fall Formal was a lie and I’ll never be a good person!”
Sunset couldn’t hold back the tears any more, and broke down crying. Rarity and Fluttershy both rushed forward to comfort her. Rarity got there first and wrapped Sunset in a hug, guiding her former rival’s face gently to her shoulder. Fluttershy took her place behind Sunset, and wrapped her arms around Sunset and Rarity both.
“There there,” Fluttershy said softly. “It’s all going to be all right, darling,” Rarity added. Sunset continued to sob into Rarity’s shoulder for a moment before she lifted her head to speak.
“I’m alone without you...”
Pinkie took this as her cue to join the group hug, squeezing in on Sunset’s right side, shoving her arms in past Rarity and Fluttershy and squeezing Sunset tight. “I’ll never let go of you again. Even if it means I have to glue my hands to you.”
Sunset couldn’t help but offer Pinkie a weak smile, but that smile quickly faded.
“It still hurts,” she sighed, “and we still haven’t really talked about it.”
“So wait,” Rainbow Dash said, “you’re mad at us?”
“She got a reason, Dash,” Applejack interjected.
“No,” Sunset replied. “No, I’m more worried. You just... You kicked me out so quick, hated me so much, without even thinking about if I’d had a reason to do what you said I did. I thought everything I was working for was gone for good. And when you found out it wasn’t me, you didn’t say anything. You see why I got scared, right?”
Applejack ran towards Sunset, and joined the group hug.
“Ah can’t believe Ah let mahself be such a snake in the grass. Ah’m awful sorry, Sunset.”
“I should have been nicer to a friend in need,” Fluttershy said. “I’m really sorry.”
“I shan’t make excuses,” Rarity added. “The way I behaved towards you was simply dreadful, and you have my sincerest apologies.”
Pinkie smiled nervously.
“So, uh, remember that time I left you stranded alone in a world that wasn’t yours with nobody to turn to? Yeah, I just thought I should say that it’s the least friendly thing I’ve ever done, and I wish I never did it. I owe my friends better.”
There was a brief silence during which everyone stared at Rainbow Dash. After a few seconds, she got the message.
“Oh, right! Yeah, I was a jerk too, my bad.”
Dash had still made no move to join the group hug, so Pinkie grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in. Sunset was now completely surrounded by her friends.
“Can you ever forgive us?” Rarity asked.
Sunset smiled.
“Of course I can. You’ve forgiven me for way worse things. I guess I just... needed to hear you say it. I was scared you didn’t care if I forgave you.”
“Well,” Rainbow Dash said, “now you know better.”
“So,” Rarity interrupted, “shall we go in for presents?”
“I don’t think there’s any big hurry,” Sunset Shimmer said. “After all, we’ve already got the greatest gift anyone could ask for. We have each other.”
Author's Note
There were a few... flaws in the Holiday Special comic that I felt needed to be addressed. From that sprung this, an attempt to make things right between Sunset and her friends.
Of course, I'm finishing and submitting this at around 11:30 on Christmas day, so it probably won't go up until it's over. Ah well.
