Nyx and Snowdrop Save the Hearth's Warming Eve

by Samey90

Rating: mature
Tags: Ahuizotl, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 5036

Shortly before the Hearth's Warming Eve, Nyx studies necromancy and Ahuizotl kidnaps Princess Celestia. Will Nyx and Snowdrop manage to stop him?

Shortly before the Hearth's Warming Eve, Nyx studies necromancy and Ahuizotl kidnaps Princess Celestia. Will Nyx and Snowdrop manage to stop him?

Pre-read by Bootsy Slickmane.
Nyx by Pen Stroke. Snowdrop by Silly Filly Studios. Hope they'll forgive me.
French translation by Inomsim.

Coverart by me.

Published 2014-12-25 22:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-25 22:00:04 UTC

This will end in tears and/or death and/or covered in tree sap

The night wasn’t particularly dreary. However, as the midnight came, Nyx, weak and weary, was still sitting in the Starswirl the Bearded’s Wing of Celestia’s Castle over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. She nodded, nearly napping, and looked at the door, hoping that somepony would tap at it and ask her why she was still there.

Nothing like that happened. Nyx was about to call it a night and go to sleep, when she looked at the old book lying on the table in front of her and suddenly her eyes focused on a small print at the bottom of the page. Nyx smirked. Weariness left her; she took off her glasses and read the small print more exactly, slowly realising that it was what she was looking for.

About twenty minutes later, she stood up and flew away from the chamber through the window. It was in the bleak December, so it was quite cold, but Nyx didn’t care. She had work to do.

When Nyx started to grow up, she also started to feel weird. Not the usual “I’m an alicorn who was created to be the new Nightmare Moon” kind of weird, but something, well, weirder. Soon she discovered a new use for her hooves. Later, she found out that the washing machine was far better for that, at least until Spike caught her. She had a long talk with Twilight about birds, bees, and the proper handling of household appliances. Heartbroken, she went to Fluttershy, who told her a lot of things about bunnies Nyx didn’t want to know.

Anyway, that was the reason Nyx was in Canterlot. Since she couldn’t afford buying a new washing machine, she decided to find herself a partner. The only problem was that there was already somepony in her life.

Maybe it was because of her connection with Princess Luna, but when Nyx first heard a story about the blind filly who created the snowflakes, she immediately fell in love with her. She spent countless nights wondering, fearing, doubting; dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. But, of course, Snowdrop was dead for ages and they couldn’t meet. There were just dreams and the laundry owner who started giving Nyx strange looks. Merely this and nothing more.

Nyx landed in front of the gate of an old cemetery. She expected it to be rusty, embedded in the wall made of decayed stone, but whoever the keeper of that place was, they did their work well – when she pushed the gate open, the wickets didn’t even make a sound.

A chill ran down her spine. She calmed herself down, thinking that it was a normal reaction to a cemetery which was so old its inhabitants didn’t even scare the trespassers or talk to each other, simply because they got bored of that after a thousand years. Old, snow-covered gravestones were leaning towards her, bleached letters almost unreadable. Nyx heard somepony whistling at her from behind a gravestone labelled “Harpo the Lecherous.” She sighed and cast a simple exorcism spell Twilight had taught her. She heard a hiss and somepony whispering “beshrew thee, maggot!”

The wind was growing colder. Nyx quickened up her pace, searching frantically for one particular grave. The snow was reaching her knees, so she straightened her frozen wings and took off, blinking to see through the blizzard. The tombstones there were older; the letters were carved in a font that was barely readable, but very sophisticated. The stones were dented but it was only making them look more dignified. It could be seen that it wasn’t just an ordinary graveyard where young cultists of Nightmare Moon would go to have a few drinks, discuss about why the New Lunar Republic would be the best system, and go away, leaving empty bottles, used condoms, and puddles of vomit.

Finally, Nyx found the grave she was looking for. A small, white tomb labelled with a single snowflake was almost buried under the snow. Nyx used her magic to clear it and grabbed a piece of chalk from the pocket of her vest. She thought that carving a pentacle in the frozen ground with it was silly, but that was what the book said. When the circle was ready, she took five flat stones with different runes on them and put one in each of the tips of the pentacle. Then she put a candle on each of the stones and lit them with her magic. The wind blew them almost immediately.

Nyx gave out a frustrated sigh and lit the candles once more, this time shielding them from the wind with her magic. She stood in front of the circle and muttered:

I summon thee
the one to be,
the one who lost their life,
their happiness,
family and friends
I call now in the night.

The candles shone brighter. Nyx repeated the spell two more times. After she was done, she heard some rumbling underground. The ground in the middle of the pentacle moved. The wind, probably knowing that the moment was dramatic, stopped. A single lightning bolt hit somewhere in the background. A light-blue hoof emerged from the grave, soon followed by another. Nyx backpedalled, thinking that she should have taken a shotgun loaded with silver buckshot with her, in case something went wrong.

A terrible scream interrupted her thoughts. She saw a silhouette of a pegasus filly standing in front of her. Nyx screamed too and took off, ready to flee.

“I’m alive!” the filly shouted. “I’m alive!”

“It worked!” Nyx exclaimed. “Snowdrop? Is that you?”

“Ay, mine name is Snowdrop,” Snowdrop replied. “Is it so dark hither thou can't see aught?”

Nyx didn’t exactly understand what Snowdrop said, but decided to chalk it up to the fact that Snowdrop was a thousand years old and spent most of that time six hooves under. “Well, it’s night, but I can see something,” she replied. “Snow... Graves... You...”

“Curse me. Still blind,” Snowdrop muttered. “Also, I’m a filly again! Again! Wherefore? Doth thou wot how hard is to get through puberty?”

“I can kinda imagine,” Nyx replied, deciding that it wouldn’t be the best idea to tell Snowdrop that it was the sole reason she was brought to life again. Also, getting through puberty in a world without the washing machines? Terrible.

“Wherefore am I a filly?” Snowdrop asked. “I di'd as a corky mare. I was forty seven! Can thou imagine, living f'r that long?”

“Forty seven?” Nyx thought that it probably wouldn’t be wise to tell Snowdrop how much the world changed while she was away. Baby steps, everypony, baby steps.

“Ay, forty seven. I was lucky to survive the Black Death and four labours,” Snowdrop replied.

“Okay, nevermind...” Nyx muttered. “Maybe we’ll talk somewhere else? You will see how the town changed over the–” She realised that her choice of verbs caused her to step on the thin ice and decided to shut up.

Snowdrop didn’t seem to mind. “Actually, I’ll fain go f'r a walk with thee. Doth thou wot any good inn?”

“Do I what?” Nyx asked.

“That’s what I asketh,” Snowdrop replied. “Doth thou possess knowledge of any inn, pub, bar, or nunnery in the neighbourhood?”

“Oh, this.” Nyx said. “Yeah, I think I know one. Follow me.” She took off and saw that Snowdrop followed her, listening to the flapping of her wings. Fighting with the wind, they got out of the cemetery and landed in the street, which was completely empty, save for a little filly selling safety matches.

“Wait,” Snowdrop said. “We art both fillies... They will sell us beer, but what if we want'd aqua vitae?

“Thousand years ago must’ve been cool times,” Nyx replied. “They don’t sell beer to fillies anymore.”

“No? This place–”

“Sucks. We say that it sucks. You really need to work on your vocabulary.” Nyx smiled. “But don’t worry, I’m not an ordinary filly...”

“I notic’d. An ordinary pegasus would not raise me from the grave...”

“Exactly. You see...” Nyx realised what she just said and smacked herself. “I have something other fillies don’t have...”

“Art thou a colt?” Snowdrop asked, raising her hoof and trying to touch Nyx in the place Twilight had told Nyx not to let anypony touch her. “Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?”

“No, I’m a filly,” Nyx said quickly. “But, you know, once you go filly, you’ll find all guys silly...”

“What?”

“Nevermind,” Nyx replied. “I mean, I’m an alicorn, like Luna and Celestia. Also, I can raise ponies from the grave. Buying booze shouldn’t be a problem for me.”

“But thou couldn't fix mine eyes,” Snowdrop observed.

“I’m sure there’s a book for that,” Nyx replied and trotted towards the nearby pub. “I can ask Twilight if she knows some spell. Not to mention that medicine made some advances since your times.”

“So, thou don't hast to put thy child in the stove and praise the Celestia’s Sun three times to cure cold? I lost three children that way.”

“No, definitely not,” Nyx replied, shuddering. “Also, don’t say ‘Celestia’s Sun.’ It’s lame.”

“Lame?” Snowdrop looked at her legs. “I’m not lame. That’d be too much, don’t thou think?”

“No,” Nyx said. “Lame, like... not cool.”

“Not cool? So, warm?”

“No, it sounds, umm... Just let’s go to the pub, okay?” Nyx sighed. She wished she hadn’t slept through all of her lessons of Early Modern Equine. She guided Snowdrop to the other side of the street, to an old building made of granite, with massive, wooden door, and a sign saying “Hanged Zebra’s Inn.”

The interior looked old, at least for Nyx. For Snowdrop it was probably pretty modern, but, for obvious reasons, it was hard for her to compare it. The pub was pretty crowded – it was just before the Hearth’s Warming Eve, so many ponies, tired of shopping, songs on the radio, and the holiday atmosphere in general, decided that it’d be better to have enough drinks to pass out and wake up after it was all over.

Nyx walked to the counter, sat on the stool and looked at the bartender. “Hello,” she said. “It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve soon and my friend and I are kinda cold, so I’d like you to give us, like, ten beers, two bottles of vodka, and a bottle of wine.”

“You mean, the usual?” asked the bartender, who was Nyx’s old friend. He also had a recording device under the counter and every day, after the bar closed, he was sending the tapes to Princess Celestia. Most of this was rubbish: whining of a pony who lost his job, his wife cheated on him with a porcupine, and didn’t even have money to pay for the drinks because a group of filly scouts mugged him and kicked him in the nuts.

But there were also interesting things, such as rebels plotting to overthrow Princess Celestia, other rebels plotting to overthrow Princess Cadance, some really drunk stage magician threatening to overthrow everypony and push them down the cliff, or Nightmare Moon cultists having a few drinks, discussing about why the New Lunar Republic would be the best system, and going away, leaving empty bottles, used condoms, and puddles of vomit. And, of course, there was Twilight Sparkle’s adopted daughter getting smashed with some random, disabled filly. Princess Celestia didn’t have to think what gift to give Twilight for Hearth’s Warming Eve anymore.

“Yes,” Nyx replied. “And the same for my friend.”

“Oh yeah...” Snowdrop muttered. “I literally haven’t had a drink in ages...”

“You’re using the word ‘literally’ wrong,” the bartender said, wondering whether he should give Nyx and Snowdrop shot glasses, tankards, or wine glasses. He eventually settled on all three.

“I believe ye are wrong, innkeeper,” Snowdrop replied. “Also, is it cold hither 'r I feel like that because i dug myself from a grave? Throw some faggots into the fire, innkeeper!”

“You dug yourself from a grave?” one of the patrons near them asked. “I had such a hangover once...”

“Also, do you have something against faggots?” asked a big, white pegasus who just approached them. He was accompanied by another pegasus – smaller, black stallion with a blue mane.

“Not really,” Snowdrop replied. “They keep ponies warm when thou throw them into the fire, right?”

“Remember what I told you about your vocabulary?” Nyx asked, staring at the white stallion unsurely. In cause of emergency, she’d probably be able to stop him with her magic, but first she’d probably become a red and black alicorn-shaped spot on the floor on the bar.

“Yes, what about it?” Snowdrop asked, ignoring the stallions who seemed visibly annoyed, as if she couldn’t see the danger coming.

“That’s one of those cases,” Nyx explained. “You see...”

“I don’t,” Snowdrop said quickly.

“That’s why I’m trying to explain that to you. ‘Faggot’ doesn’t mean a stick of firewood anymore. Currently, it means a stallion who, umm... enjoys a company of other stallions. Like those two big guys here who will kick us to the next Friday for what you just said...”

“Oh, so thou guys are sodomites? Cool,” Snowdrop said. “Did I say it right?” she whispered to Nyx.

“More or less,” Nyx muttered. “I’m sorry, my friend is kinda bad at social conventions.”

“One can say she’s blind to them,” the black pegasus deadpanned.

“It’s because I’m blind, you jackass!” Snowdrop exclaimed, flying to him and smacking him with her wing.

“Hey!” some drunk donkey sitting not far away from the counter exclaimed. “Jackass?”

“Hey! Let’s beat some faggots!” somepony exclaimed.

“You heard that? They want to beat us! Let’s beat them! Hooray!”

“I don’t give a fiddler’s fart about the New Lunar Republic! And you’ll clean all those bottles, condoms and vomit from the floor or I’ll make you lick it!”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will beat everypony! Come at me, scoundrels!”

Nyx hid under the table, pulling Snowdrop with her. “You see...”

“Don’t start again,” Snowdrop muttered. “Do I have to slap you too?”

“Okay.” Nyx sighed. “Nowadays, it’s perfectly acceptable for two fillies to be together. And since they can find us in that fight and we may die because you couldn’t shut up, I want to tell you one thing...”

“Thou love me?” Snowdrop asked.

“How do you know?”

“Thou starteth with saying that two fillies can love each other and thou reviveth me of all the ponies. Even a blind would see the connection,” Snowdrop said. Next to them, an unconscious pony who, judging by a cloak and too much black eyeliner, was a Nightmare Moon cultist, hit the floor.

“Really?” Nyx asked.

“Thou hast issues... What exactly is thy name?”

“Nyx.”

“Thou hast issues, Nyx. Reviving a filly to fornicate with her? I’m not even a fillyfooler...” Snowdrop paused when somepony landed on the table they were sitting under. Then, judging by the sounds, someone sat on that pony’s face.

“Still, it was a better try than a washing machine,” Nyx muttered. Some pony flew next to her, apparently thrown by a big, white pegasus who was now screaming “yeah!”

Suddenly, the bar brawl stopped. The only sounds were now muffled moaning from the table and heavy static from the radio that somehow survived the fight. The static soon ended and somepony spoke.

“Is that thing on? Right...” The pony cleared his throat. “Listen to me exactly because I shall not tell you this for the second time. My name is Dr. Caballeron and, since Daring Do is currently in Zebrica, me and my friend Ahuizotl decided to steal the Hearth’s Warming Eve...”

“How?” Nyx asked. “You can’t steal the holiday? It’s, like, too big...”

“You may wonder how we managed to do that?” Dr. Caballeron laughed. “We don’t know either. The truth is, we just kidnapped Princess Celestia and we want all your gifts as a ransom!” He laughed again, this time maniacally.

“Wait!” Nyx exclaimed. “How did you kidnap Princess Celestia? She’s an immortal alicorn who raises the sun!”

“Probably all of you are asking a question how we managed to do that...” Dr. Caballeron said. “It was simple. My friend waited for her in the toilet, grabbed a pipe while she was... Or maybe, let’s not get into the technical details. We are waiting for the ransom till midnight. Caballeron out.”

“We need to do something about this,” Nyx said.

“Maybe we should wait for your mom?” the bartender asked. “She and her friends probably heard that message and they will know what to do...”

“I don’t know,” Nyx muttered. “Mom mentioned that they would be kinda busy...”

Twilight inhaled smoke from a large bong in front of her and smiled. “Good stuff, Fluttershy...” she muttered. “Where did you get it?”

“Zecora sells it,” Fluttershy replied. “She mixes it with Poison Joke or something...”

“Cool,” Twilight replied and lay down on the couch, next to Spike, who had eaten some pill Pinkie brought and was currently having quite colourful dreams.

“Hey, guys...” Rainbow Dash said, hiccuping. “M-maybe we should *hic!* go through that mirror and *hic!* invite Sunset Shimmer? She’s *hic!* sssooo sseexyyy...”

“Better not,” Applejack said. “You’re drunker than an average Nightmare Moon cultist and you smell the same. Also, Sunset wouldn’t like what we did to Pinkie...”

“Exactly, darling,” Rarity muttered, forming a path of some white powder on the table. “Sunset can’t see Rainbow being completely inebriated. Alcohol is truly the worst possible thing!” She snorted the path.

“Guys...” Spike muttered, opening one eye. “I feel we’re missing something...”

“Your unique sense of humour,” Twilight deadpanned. “Maybe we should get a book and write some funny messages to Sunset? That’d be fun!”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Snowdrop muttered. They were flying above the panicked crowd running through the streets of Canterlot. “Also, kidnapping the Princess? They should be hanged, drawn, and quartered!”

“Nowadays they’ll plead insanity,” Nyx replied. “Now we have to think where they are...”

“Probably in the palace,” Snowdrop said. “Did this place really get bigger than last time I was in it?”

“Apparently,” Nyx replied, barely dodging a tall building. Snowdrop avoided it effortlessly.

“Before you ask,” Snowdrop said, “I heard you not ramming into it.”

Nyx nodded, deciding not to delve into the topic. “So, what are we gonna do once we get to the palace?”

“We can either sneak there and free the Princess, or make as much commotion as we can, so they’ll think there’s more of us...” Snowdrop replied.

Nyx spotted a set of Hearth’s Warming Eve decorations on the roof of a nearby house. “I think I have an idea...” she muttered, narrowing her eyes.

“The sleigh?!” Snowdrop exclaimed, clenching her hooves around the red-painted wood. “Why did it have to be a flying sleigh...”

“I’m good at levitating stuff, you know,” Nyx muttered. She was standing in the back of the red sleigh and staring at the castle getting closer and closer to them.

“Why is it burning?!” Snowdrop sniffed the air and, among the smell of burning wood and red paint, sensed a delicate odour of burning hair.

“We got hit by a firework,” Nyx replied, completely oblivious to the fact that her tail just caught fire. “But it seems that we’re going faster that way!”

“It’s because we’re losing parts...” Snowdrop muttered. Some more fireworks whistled past them. “Why are there even fireworks here?”

“It’s that insane magician,” Nyx looked at the ground. “Someone lit her wagon on fire, or something like that...”

Little she knew that while the burning things in towns aren’t usually a good sign, this burning wagon actually was one. The little filly selling safety matches they (or at least Nyx) had seen earlier walked to it, saving herself from a certain death of hypothermia. Later, the wagon’s owner found her and, since they had common hobbies, such as pyromania, she let her become her apprentice. But it is another story and shall be told another time.

“Back in my days, we were lighting zebras on fire during mobs... It was much safer.” Snowdrop ducked when another firework flew inches from her and exploded into a large, violet star.

“Maybe...” Nyx muttered. “Okay, I’ll try to choose a window without any stained glass... Who knows, maybe later they’ll make one for us?”

“Posthumously?”

Nyx just wanted to say that it’d be a shame if they didn’t see it, but exactly at that moment the burning sleigh pierced through the window of Princess Celestia’s castle. Snowdrop jumped from it and spread her wings, but she hit a large chandelier and grabbed it, deciding that she’d be safe there.

The sleigh, with Nyx still on board, hit the large Hearth’s Warming tree standing in the hall. The tree collapsed, catching fire. Nyx rolled out of the remainings of the sleigh, which soon exploded for some reason, throwing debris around. A burning wheel rolled out of it and fell to the ground, still turning.

Nyx blinked and scratched her mane. She stood up slowly, wondering about the wheel – last time she checked, it wasn’t in the sleigh. She saw her glasses, which were lying on the floor undamaged, and put them on. Then she rubbed her ears – the ringing in them was unbearable.

“Always covered in tree sap...” Nyx muttered. “Snowdrop?” she called. Her voice was strangely muffled. She realised that she couldn’t hear any background noises, even though the burning tree was probably making a lot of them.

Snowdrop landed next to her and said something Nyx couldn’t hear.

“I can’t hear you,” Nyx said. “I got deafened by that explosion...”

Snowdrop pointed at her eyes and facehoofed.

“Yeah, I know it’s dumb,” Nyx muttered. “It’s like that old movie with–”

Snowdrop shook her head, raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah, for you it’s quite new, I guess...”

Snowdrop mouthed the word “movie” in an exaggerated fashion and drew a question mark in the air with her hoof.

“Oh...” Nyx sighed. “It’s a bit like a theatre with moving pictures. Also, how do you know how a question mark looks like?”

Snowdrop rolled her eyes and facehoofed.

“Okay, nevermind,” Nyx muttered. “How do you think, where are they?”

Snowdrop pointed at the two doors, one on each side of the hall.

“You’re right,” Nyx said. “Let’s split up!” She took off and flew to the left door, not caring about Snowdrop waving at her.

Snowdrop sighed. “Either she hit her head against the wall or I was revived by a complete idiot...” she said to herself and trotted to the other door. Suddenly, she heard it opening and heard hoofsteps of four earth stallions trotting towards her. She could also hear that one of them had asthma.

“Hello there, little filly,” said one of the stallions. It was the same voice as in the radio.

“Dr. Caballeron, I suppose,” Snowdrop muttered through gritted teeth.

“Exactly,” Dr. Caballeron replied. “You came here to save Princess Celestia, right? Alone?”

“Yes,” Snowdrop said. “And to kick thy arse by the way.”

“Really?” Dr. Caballeron chuckled. “I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re a small filly and we’re four grown-up stallions.”

Snowdrop raised her head and smirked. “I can’t see why it’d be a problem...”

Nyx wandered through a narrow, dark corridor. She smirked, seeing that her coat was blending with the shadows.

“Princess?” she called. “Where are you?”

She saw something white in the moonlight. She ran forward and saw a small cat sitting in the middle of the hall, licking its paw.

“Hello,” Nyx said. “What are you doing here, little kitty?”

The cat looked at her and hissed, raising its hair. Suddenly, a tiger, a black panther, a lynx, and a cheetah stepped from the shadows, surrounding Nyx.

Nyx sighed. “Well, that’s cheating...” she muttered.

The cheetah looked at her, as if it was expecting something.

“Yeah, you’re such a cheater, very funny...” Nyx sighed. The cats, including the smallest one went closer to her.

Nyx took off her glasses and spread her wings. “Auntie Fluttershy, forgive me...” she muttered.

Ahuizotl was walking around the small chamber, from time to time staring at Princess Celestia, who was trapped in the net hanging from the ceiling. He laughed – he was actually quite proud of his evil laughter. After all, he practised for years.

“You will never get away with this, Ahuizotl,” Celestia said. “Soon, my subjects will come to rescue me!”

“Yeah, sure,” Ahuizotl replied. “Currently, they’re too busy panicking... Then they’ll decide that the best they can do is to give me what I want... And before they catch me I’ll be far away from here!” He laughed again.

“Just try,” Celestia said. “I’m raising the sun, I can chase you till the end of the world!”

“And we caught you sitting on, umm... the throne.” Ahuizotl smirked. “We’re too powerful for you, Celestia. Ponies will pay...”

“Once you free me, I can change you to a nut cracker.” Now Celestia also smirked.

“Who said that I’m gonna free you?” Ahuizotl asked, walking closer to Celestia and barring his teeth.

“Free her right now, you creation of a taxidermist high on auntie Pinkie’s pills!”

Ahuizotl turned his head to see a small, black alicorn filly aiming her horn at him. Her mane was ruffled and her tail was partially burned. A small, white cat with a black eye was sinking its claws in her hind leg, but she didn’t seem to notice that.

“Nyx?” Celestia asked. “What are you doing here?”

“If you’re asking what I’m doing here, I’m saving you!” Nyx smirked, revealing a missing tooth.

“Alone?” Celestia looked like she was about to facehoof.

“With me!” Another voice called. Celestia turned to see Snowdrop walking into the chamber. She was limping slightly and her mane was ruffled, but she was otherwise unharmed.

“Wait...” Celestia muttered. “Aren’t you that little blind jackass my sister liked so much?”

“Hello, Mr. Ahuizotl,” Snowdrop said, ignoring Celestia. “Those four rascals you sent to me need some ice to put on their testicles. I’m afraid they won’t be able to use their wits for some time...”

“Meddling kids!” Ahuizotl exclaimed. “Also, I need to talk to those idiots... They got kicked by a blind filly! Luckily, I was prepared for that...” He knocked his tail against the floor. Two more nets raised, trapping Nyx and Snowdrop.

“Well, it was a trap for Daring Do, but it’ll work well for you two...” Ahuizotl smirked. “It’s magic-proof,” he said, seeing that Nyx was trying to cut the net with her magic. “Now, nothing can stop me and–” Suddenly a powerful blast of magic threw him at the wall.

“THOU HAST FORGOTTEN ABOUT US!” Princess Luna said, levitating an Ahuizotl-shaped nut cracker from the floor.

“I can hear her...” Nyx muttered.

“And I’m blind and deaf now,” Snowdrop said. “Fornicate me...”

“Sister!” Celestia exclaimed. “Where were you?”

“You sent us shopping to Manehattan, don’t thou remember?” Luna rolled her eyes and freed Celestia, Nyx, and Snowdrop from their nets. “Three days in the queues... And some harlot told us not to skip the queue to the taxi...”

Celestia swallowed hard. “And... What did you do?”

“Oh, nothing,” Luna replied. “The whole queue is a bit deaf now, and they’re now on the Mo– Snowdrop! Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me,” Snowdrop replied, hugging Princess Luna. “Nyx revived me...”

“Nyx!” Celestia exclaimed. “Don’t you know that necromancy is banned?”

“I can’t hear anything...” Nyx muttered. Celestia sighed and aimed her horn at Nyx, fixing her hearing.

“Hey, you can fix hearing with magic?” Snowdrop asked. “How about vision?”

“No.”

“Crap. Forever blind.”

“We have advanced surgery though,” Celestia said. “Eyes, sex change, liposuction... Anyway, Nyx, I’ll definitely talk to Twilight about you playing with necromancy.”

“Great,” Nyx muttered. “Grounded on the Hearth’s Warming Eve...”

“Forgive her, sister,” Luna said. “Now I’ll have some time to spend with Snowdrop...”

Nyx sighed, lowering her head. “Hello, washing machine, my old friend...” she whispered.

“Princess Luna...” Snowdrop said. “Can I spend the Hearth’s Warming Eve with Nyx?”

“Of course, Snowdrop,” Luna replied. “I’ll call a chariot to Ponyville for you...” She raised the Ahuizotl-shaped nut-cracker. “And you... I’ll hang you on the Hearth’s Warming tree...”

Nyx smiled sheepishly. “Well... About the tree...”

Twilight woke up with a terrible headache. She fell out of her bed and looked under it to see Pinkie Pie. She wasn’t moving and was lying in exactly the same position as when they’d left her there. Twilight thought that the day was going to be great.

She trotted downstairs and saw Nyx sitting at the table and playing scrabble with some pale-blue filly. Rubbing her forehead, Twilight approached them.

“Hello, mom,” Nyx said. “How are you?”

“Great,” Twilight replied. “I see that you brought a friend with you...”

“Yeah,” Nyx muttered. “This is Snowdrop. Snowdrop, this is my mom, Twilight.”

“Nice to meet thee,” Snowdrop replied, arranging the tiles into the word “serendipity.” “That’ll be eighteen points, right?”

“Yeah,” Nyx said. “And triple letter score on ‘e’ and ‘p’, which means twenty six.” She looked at Twilight. “Mom, did you step into poison joke again? In winter?”

“Stepped, right...” Twilight saw that her horn was a bit flaccid and tried to gather the memories from the last night. Indeed, there was something about poison joke.

“Also, when we came here, that book was vibrating,” Nyx said. “Auntie Sunset wrote to you to stop sexting her. I think she meant ‘texting?’”

“Yeah, probably,” Twilight muttered, thinking about the time when she and her friends decided to check if the book also sends the photos glued into it. It did. In hindsight, unfortunately.

“And later she sent you a photo of her... Umm...” Nyx scratched her mane, looking for the right word.

“You know?” Twilight poked her horn. “Maybe we’ll go with your friend to the spa? You’ll tell me everything about her...”

“Sure!” Nyx stood up, smiling. “I was losing this game anyway...”

Snowdrop joined them and they trotted happily to the spa.