College: An Anthro Life

by Otaku250

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Anthro, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Sex
Length: 10513

A nerd living in a college with anthropomorphic ponies trying to get by while becoming friends with these ponies.

Lloyd, a nerd, gamer and plenty of other popular internet things, is living in a time in 2025 where anthropomorphic ponies and humans coexist. Lloyd has graduated high school and is now enrolling in a college in the anthro-pony world. An awkward schmuck, Lloyd is not looking forward to this new environment. However, Lloyd just may find that interaction with these ponies won't be so bad.

Triggers: Very obscene language, Sexual themes (no third base for you), nerd talk, Anthros.

(Anthro ponies in this story are more human like, they have hands and feet, but still have muzzles and ears positioned on the top of their heads)

(The show doesn't exist in this story)

(Official Editor: SilverKuriboh)
(Pls Vote)

Published 2014-12-29 16:50:10 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-11 19:59:57 UTC

College

Author's Note

Hello you wonderful people, this is a story I will be making alongside A Stallion of Law. Now don't be alarmed, my attention will be focused mainly on the Lawton and his comrades but I will make chapters in this story to. This is my take on a future where anthro ponies exist and a nerd must survive in a college, ENJOY:derpytongue2:

College

...So, I'm guessing you guys are my readers so I'll ask a question. What do you do when your folks tell you you're going to a college...in a completely different world? Yea, that's whats happening to me...and its quite the change. Oh, maybe I should explain this whole "different world" business. I don't know why I should but I hate stories where nothing is explained. So it starts in 2015, the year where everything turns upside down for the entire human population. Twelve scientists from different countries all gather 'round and are like 'lets make some portals'. So they did using some kind of science that if I had the time to explain I would, but that would require some effort on my part so lets not. Basically, the scientists succeeded and found a whole other world. This brought a whole array of controversy from the world itself, not just because twelve people made a portal to another dimension, but because this world had inhabitants. They were like us humans, they could talk, read, write and pretty much were shaped like us. The one difference was that these creatures were...horse-like....pony-like to be more exact. They had hands and feet, but they also had muzzles and tails...and wings and horns. These "Anthro's" as we called them have subspecies of their kind, "Pegasi" and "Unicorns" while the ones without any additional body parts are titled "Earth Ponies".

We were, of course, terrified that these creatures would overthrow us and make humans slaves. on the contrary, this turned out to be a complete 180 compared to what these Anthro's were actually like. The monarch of this discovered country known as "Equestria" had shown that they were completely safe and harmless. As quick as the Anthro's were discovered, the world gave these creatures a chance and quickly became part of our society. The Anthro's showed us magic and gave us permission to live on their land. We in return gave them everything we accomplished with technology. That covers up the basics...but you social media peeps are more interested in my new college life.

I'll be honest, i'm frickin terrified about this place. High-school was a sad time for me, being a nerd in a social class student body sucked. Do you know how hard it is to be a nerd who plays video games and anime when it comes to getting a date...jocks always got the pretty ones. My mom said I should be glad with the way I look, no pimples, tall figure, an 80's mullet, but that never gave me the confidence to approach a girl. I had friends in high-school, sure, but they were all in the same group I was...nerds. Graduation was the happiest time I had, simply because I could finally leave that hellhole. Of course, my parents were more interested in me getting into a college. Thanks to my grade average, I was accepted into a college...in Equestria.

Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to go to Equestria...but staying their for a whole year for college...that's hyperventilating worthy. I'm currently on the dimensional train for this place called "Ponyville"...oh god have mercy. My mind was racing as the train was on the tracks, but I was soon caught by something beautiful. I always heard about the mesmeric beauty of that minute long passage between our world and Equestria, but to actually see it... it's magical. The array of colors that captivate you, telling you that your going to a wonderful place. I hope heaven is this beautiful, because that may be where i'm heading when college jocks get to me. The train comes to a stop, opening it's doors as the lovely pre-recorded voice said her usual speal.

"Thank you for choosing Cross-Roads-Station and we hope you enjoy your stay."

'HEY VOICE, GUESS WHAT, YOUR THE ONLY STATION THAT TRAVELS THROUGH DIMENSIONS, WE HAVE TO CHOOSE YOU. OH, AND YOUR FOOD SUCKS MORE THAN A CHRISTMAS STORY 2!' I mentally screamed as I got up to tread to my soon-to-be prison. Grabbing my giant-ass suitcase, I headed towards the open doors to catch the bus that would lead me to...um...shoot I forgot the name. Oh well, back to real life I'm now waiting at a bus stop, trying to hide myself from the stares these college Anthro's are giving me. My parents never mentioned that this college was in a densely populated Anthro environment until they finally let look at the brochure. In hindsight, I thought being a human in an Anthro college would be fun...except for all these stares. Only god knows if I can make out of this alive, and by Go-wait, used that deity already...by Zeus I'll try.

The bus finally pulled up with the college's name on the side, "Pony University"...so original I swear. We all got on, I found a nice seat in the back, and the bus drove off. It was quite shaky, but when you take the local bus to high-school in Philly you learn to adapt. I was still un-nerved, getting occasional glances from these ponies, even a full on stare from this mint Unicorn. The university was starting to come to view as we pulled up to the front gate. The place was actually quite far from the town, surrounded by a forest...not that Everfree place though, that would b unsettling. The main building was quite large, as to be expected from a university. The bus pulled to a stop and everyone...or pony as the Anthro's put it, got out and headed towards the main building. I was following behind, due to the heavy load of crap I was carrying. Everypony was filled in a line as they got their schedules and dorm room keys. Finally I pulled and was meet with a cream colored mare at the receptionists desk.

"Hello, welcome to-" the mare stopped as she took a moment to stare at me in front of her desk. I gave her a worried smile as I leaned on the behemoth that was my suitcase.

"Ah, so your the human we were told about." the cream mare said as she relaxed.

"P-Pardon?" I squeaked out, why would they be alerted of a human attending a mostly pony-I just answered my question.

"Sorry to say this kid, but your the only human who seems to be attending this year. Here's the keys and your schedule, have a good day." She handed me the piece of paper and the keys. I shakily took them as I wondered to the male dorm building to get unpacked. The thought was still raging in my head...the only human? This sounded like Negima...except I wasn't a little welsh boy surrounded by women...well not entirely. Anthro's were very one sided when it came to the gene-pool, so a lot of the citizens are female. However, I expect my luck with them to be as saddening as my luck with human chicks. Well, maybe it won't be as bad as i'm making it out to be...right?

So I'm following the group of freshman stallions to the nice pathway to two dorm buildings facing each other side by side. One building on my right was blue...so I guess that would signify that's were the guys go...man i'm tripping. They all enter in the main hall of the dorm while I quickly slither my way through to gt to my room. 340...340, where is 340? I'm looking through every hall but I can't seem to find it. My chances of getting to my first class is slim now, and I was going to give the teacher an apple. However, a voice called out to me.

"Ya need help there pardner?" called a stallion across from me. He was red and had a dark blonde mane, oh and he had green eyes...just wanted to let you know. He was wearing decent clothes, a red and white checkered shirt and some jeans. Oh, and if you didn't notice, he had the most western accent I have ever heard. Hearing it was like feeling the round-house kick of Chuck Norris...in Walker: Texas Ranger to be fitting. He came up to me, looking to be a foot taller than my lanky six foot one stature. I was pretty intimidated by the stallion, being a nerd who routinely got insulted by buff jocks was quite a break on your psyche. But, for the sake of actually needing help, I spoke up.

"Y-Yes...um, i'm looking for room 340." I said as he came near. He immediately gestured towards an old busted door with a rusted gold colored plate. I looked him confused, and he just gave me this very calm smile.

"That room hasn't been used for awhile, sorry ya got it." the stallion said as he put his hand forward for a shake. I hesitantly returned the shake, which I quickly regretted as this guy had the force to crush my hand tenfold. He saw the wince in my face and let go. "You alright there pardner?" he said with some concern.

"Oh i'm fine...just feel like my arm is an instant noodle." I said in my joking manner. Usually I could trust my sense of humor to break most of the ice when it came to basic conversation. Luckily it worked for the stallion in front of me as he chuckled at my pain.

"Funny there pardner, names Big Macintosh, but most ponies just call me Big Mac." Big Mac said with a smile. It was strange, I was around this guy for only a couple of seconds and yet I felt relaxed around him. However, I had stuff to unpack so I couldn't stay long.

"Well, Mr.Mac, I best be going now." I said as I hastily made for my room. I'll admit that was a little rude on my part, but I saw another smile from him so I guess there was no ill will there. Entering the room...well, lets just say its not the most glorious room I've stayed in. It's dusty, it smells of rotten cheese, and I swear there was something under the run down bed. None the less, I started unpacking, sorting all of my things out. I was lucky to see that apparently and old room comes with no need for a roommate, glad to see I wouldn't be put through that anytime soon. I was able to assort most of my stuff, shelving the plethora of books and manga I brought with me. I then brought out the books that I would need for class, and boy were they heavy. I mean, of course there going to be heavy, there college grade material, but man are they page-heavy. One of the books in particular takes a lot of interest in me, "Equestrian History", a book that explains...you get the idea. I never really got the chance to study anything about Anthro's in high-school, so having to learn about there whole history is quite overwhelming.

Seeing that I have only 20 minutes until I my first class, English, I grabbed the respective book and hightailed it to the class. I squeezed past a couple of Stallions until I finally made it out to the grounds. I'm practically running at this point until something catches my eye...six somethings to be exact. You know that one group of kids you see in middle or high-school and you instantly think they're the most interesting people you see? Well, time literally stopped as I took in the six female Anthro's near one simple bench.

One was sitting on the left of the bench reading some kind of book. She was a nice shade of purple, with purple hair that had a lighter streak of...purple. She also had big, lovely eyes colored...purple. She wore a typical school girl outfit with a long skirt, but the catch was...they were purple. The mare looked like a unicorn since I caught a glimpse of her horn. Their was a pink mare over her shoulder, Earth pony I believe, who had nice poofy pink hair, staring at the book that that the purple Unicorn was reading. She looked to be wearing a simple shirt with some shorts to match. Next to the purple mare was a light grey Unicorn with a nice purple mane and, again, crystal blue eyes. What struck me about her was her more...fashion oriented appearance, having a stylish white work shirt with some possibly real diamonds etched on the collar. She also wore a pink work skirt to go withe the aforementioned shirt. This mare was conversing with a yellow mare with a pink mane and...wings, a Pegasus. Her wings were folded nicely on a green sweater and under her was a simple green skirt. Their were also these wonderful green eyes in her skull that nearly tore me from the other two mares. Oh, and she...also had big...um...lets use fruit here...melons...no watermelons...straight from an anime...like Seikon no Qwaser. Across from them were two other mares conversing with each other. One was an orange Earth Pony with a blond mane and light green eyes. The mare had on a simple plaid shirt with some ripped up jeans. She also had a large stetson hat and, unlike the other girls so far who wore simple shoes, cowboy boots. The mare she was conversing with was blue and had this rainbow mane that seemed to be a little jagged. The mare was dressed in a sports bra tank top which was perfect for her floating wings and she wore tight, TIGHT yoga pants. Her eyes also struck me blind with those perfect magenta gems...i'm not weird I swear. That was all I caught in that short span of time I looked at the group...unrealistic...most likely...worth it...for a nerd like me...definitely.

I kept running, still picturing that yellow mare's...assets, until I reached the main building. I slow down so i'm walking at a steady pace, god knows that I need to be pulled over by a hall monitor. A thought then dawned on me once more...I'M LOST AGAIN. Seriously, I don't know why, but I've been getting more side tracked than The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I need directions to the room, so I have to do something I dread...ask questions to unsuspecting people. I lay my eyes on a grey mare with a blond mane...guess she'll have to do. I walk a little behind her and lightly tap her on the shoulder. She jumps and faces me, allowing me to see her blond eyes, one apparently lazy since it was looking upwards. I tried to avert my gaze from her...assets, and focus on her one eye.

"Um, do you know where...Ms.Harshwinny's English class is?" I asked with uncertainty. The gray mare looked at me perplexed, I couldn't tell if it as because I was a human or she was surprised I even spoke to her.

"D-Down the hall and make a l-left." the gray mare squeaked. I bowed quickly and made for the room she pointed to. First day of college...oh this is fun.

A Bookworm

... So, English was truly exciting to say the least. It went on for so long, it felt like a writer took three months just to get a chapter out. Well, I guess I should tell you how it went. For starters, the room was like any college classroom, with seats that are lined upwards like benches at an American football game. I took a seat in the middle row, because the top or bottom is too mainstream, just ask my hipster friends.

Soon there was a full classroom of colorful anthro ponies, and to my dismay, most of these ponies were looking at me, and as I said before, it's creepy. What's better is that the same green Unicorn from the bus was staring at me with this cute yet scary smile. It's like it said "I immediately like you, and will do things to you in your sleep that will make you unable to walk for the next week and a half."... You can take that however you want.

The worst part of this class was when the teacher came in. I wasn't expecting a totally nice person with a name like "Ms. Harshwhinny", but I had hoped for something better than what we got. This Earth Pony was heinous; she was so condescending it hurt. Now I won't complain, I can take a teacher like that, I mean, I grew up in Philly. It was just that she was so bitter, that it made me feel sorry for her. Although, if it's any consolation, she had the most rocking body I've seen on a teacher... Yup, Christmas card material right there.

Ms. Harshwhinny decided that we needed to get in shape mentally. To accomplish this, we now have to study on a famous Equestrian poet with an unknown name. Now, apparently this poet made poetry that gave insight to the treatment of stallions. Oh yeah, stallions in the times of old were treated like prizes for mares to pick and choose. This poet, who happened to be a mare, saw that stallions should be treated the same as mares. This thought process was accepted and now everypony is treated equally. This seems very interesting in the long run, but now I just want to read something else.

So now I'm sitting on a bench outside the campus reading my favorite novel "Dracula". Despite being in a country of anthropomorphic animals, I made sure to bring some classics of human literature to ease my stay here. The idea of getting my hands on Equestrian literature is certainly tempting, however, I'll stick with human classics for now.

I love vampires, I find them to be the coolest monsters I know about and cringe at the way they're treated in the media. My parents would say I was the weirdest child, liking and reading Dracula at age 6 was certainly strange. I've heard that anthros have similar creatures that live among them as a separate race. Maybe I'll see one of them here, and possibly get a date... who am I kidding.

My train of thought was cut short when I felt something tap against my foot. I looked down to find a soccer ball. I then directed my attention to my front, finally realizing I was near a soccer field. One of the first things we introduced to these anthros were sports; consequently, they became quite popular with them. A mare was gesturing me to kick the ball to her. A close inspection of the mare revealed her to be that blue Pegasus with that group of anthros from before. She was still wearing that sports bra tank top... not that I'm complaining. I decided to do what was gestured and promptly kicked the ball as hard as I could. Luckily, it landed in the middle of the field as all the anthros went back to their game. I decided to watch for a couple of seconds to take in the game... and the mares, but that's not important.

A thought came that I most likely wasn't going to get much reading done near a soccer field, so I did a Phil Fish and hightailed it out of there with my book intact. I noticed that the same mare looked at me for a little bit before she went back to her game. Now you would think that maybe this is a nice thing, but trust me, when you grow up in Philly, that is never good.

Now I'm walking along the halls of the school, praying that I can find a quiet place to read. That's when I realize this school has a freaking library. Yeah, the one good thing about this place was its vast amount of school necessities. As soon as that little tidbit came to mind, I rushed to find the door to the place. I only know what this building has thanks to the brochure, but I neglected to look at the whole map. I was wondering until I came across my objective, the library doors.

I entered only to be greeted by a very nice looking room. Nice shades of blue and white filled the walls and contrasted nicely with the brown bookshelves. I quietly took a seat at a nearby table and began to read once more. Now I can finally get up to the part where they find out about Dracula sucking the blood of the fiance of Harker. However, the feeling of eyes peering into my soul started to surface. Usually I am one not to care about such things, but this felt different; it felt a way I've never felt about strange people staring at me. I lifted my eyes from the pages to observe the room. The source of the staring was found pretty quickly though; apparently in my haste I didn't notice a mare sitting across from my seat.

What was interesting about this mare was that she was the purple mare I took interest in mere moments ago. Although, now that I look at her, she's more of a lavender color. Well, so much for my purple jokes; although, her clothes are still very purple. Now that I get a good look at this mare, she was quite cute. She had nice features, her eyes seem to sparkle in the light, and DAT HAIR. I've done some research on anthros in general and have learned that their manes can be multicolored. This mare had the most beautiful purple mane with a light stroke of lighter purple running down. I have a gay friend who's going to a beauty school and I'll tell you what, he would go crazy over these manes.

She looked down back at her book when I caught her gaze on me. I silently chuckled at the flustered mare and continued to read my book. However, without even looking up I felt her purple eyes peer back at me. I wasn't annoyed by this; I was actually quite flattered by the gesture. Although, it was rather stuffy in that library, probably bad air conditioning or something like that.

I got up and headed outside to see if I could find someplace to read more comfortably. As soon as I got up though, I noticed the lavender mare had a depressed or guilty look on her face. My guess was that she thought I went to go somewhere else because of her staring and that in turn made me feel bad. I went out of character and decided to gesture for her to follow me. The reason I say "out of character" is because I usually don't pay mind to people’s interpretations of my actions. However, I felt that doing that to this mare would be assholeish, that's a word right?

She gave me a quizzical look when I did this, but decided to follow me regardless. So here I am now, walking with an attractive mare trying to find a place to read. I was quite proud of myself, not only did I get the courage to "talk" to a female on my own, but I also didn't act like an anti-social prick. We came outside to see the lush green patches that cascaded over the beige walkway. I immediately spotted a long bench and headed towards it, the lavender mare following close behind. I took a seat and opened my book to the page I left off of. However, the mare just stood there looking like I just said I didn't like *insert popular nerdy thing here*. I was getting a little annoyed and decided to speak up to her.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked. She gave a cute "eep" when I abruptly spoke. Without another word she sat down next to me and began to read her book. I tried to read mine as well, but I still felt the occasional glances from the mare. "You want to talk about something miss?" I asked, not caring about reading at this point. She looked at me funny and closed her book slowly.

"W-Well... um, hi, and yes, but, oh" the lavender mare was trying to find something to say. As much as I like seeing somepony be more awkward than me for once, I decided to raise my hand and offer a shake.

"Hello, my name’s Lloyd Hannigan, it's a pleasure to meet you miss..." I ended there to see if she would accept the gesture or not.

"Oh, yes, my name’s Twilight, Twilight Sparkle." Twilight said as she shook my hand in her soft one. I couldn't help but find her name adorable, even if it reminded me of a certain novel series.

"So Twilight, do you perhaps have any questions for me? Forgive me for asking so bluntly, but I've been noticing you glance at me a few times; scratch that, more like the whole time since we made eye contact." I said, breaking the ice rather harshly.

"Sorry about that, Its just I've never really seen a human before up close, I was quite shocked I even saw you."

"It's alright, I was kind of freaked out when I saw you anthros for the first time... sorry was that offensive."

"No, It's fine, we "anthros" actually like the term, gives us more diversity from the crowd." Twilight finished with a tone of pride in her voice. I laughed a little at her, her personality seemed to be something I could get used to. "What? Did I say something weird?" Twilight asked as I slowed my laughter.

"N-Nothing, so about those questions." I said, trying to change the subject.

"Oh yes, well, I guess I should start with where you were born."

"I was born in south Philadelphia."

"And that's in?"

"America."

"Oh." Twilight said with a little blush on her cheeks.

"I take it you don't know much about humans?" I asked.

"I've researched most your cultures and countries but I can never seem to tell them apart sometimes." She said as she played with her mane. "America is the country that gained its independence from... Britain was it?"

"Correct."

"Great, so what are your interests?"

"Well, I would say I'm more into computer programing."

"I think I've used one of those before, they use magic right?"

"No, it's very complicated but I'm sure if you study enough, it will make sense."

"Alright, one last question... do you like it here so far?"

"It's a little early to say, but so far it's been nice." I said with a content smile. I looked down to my wrist watch and saw it was almost time for my next class. "Damn, sorry Ms. Sparkle, I need to go." I got up as fast as I could and bolted to Equestrian History. Just before I could get to the door, I heard Twilight call over to me.

"Lloyd!"

"What?" I said as I jogged in place.

"There's a freshman party being held tonight, you think you might show up?" Twilight said with a little shyness in her voice.

"Ah, sure, I'll be there." and with that said I bolted off to history class, still imaging the lavender mare's nice face as I jogged.

Author's Note

Took bloody forever but its done. Editing is done by SilverKuriboh.

Party Harty part 1

Author's Note

Holy shit I finished the thrid chapter! please comment your thoughts, I really appreciate them.

Party Harty part 1

Whelp, tonight's the night to party. I was rather skeptical about going to this party, even if I was invited by a cute mare. Although, after all the classes I had to take, I found a very interesting note in my room. When I opened it, confetti just bursted out in the thousands. After spitting out the colorful streamers, I read the letter.

HI HI HI HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIII,
You're invited to a super-duper-spectacular freshmen party tonight, so bring your smile!
From, Pinkie Pie
Go to the big building from the brick pathway (BRING YOUR SMILE STILL...)

... Oh, I can tell this "Pinkie Pie" is going to be loads of fun. So after putting back all the books from my previous classes, I start to get changed into some party clothes. Now I know what you dirty people are thinking, "Oh Lloyd, it's not that kind of party is it?", well no, I just happened to like to go to parties fashionable. I put on my green turtleneck and blue jeans and head out with my bifocals intact. On my way I saw some freshman stallions walking to where I was going so I sheepishly followed them. As I trailed behind them, I could hear a... saucy conversation.

"So Soarin, ya think that mare will be at the party?" A black Pegasus with a light blue mohawk mane asked his friend.

"Rainbow Dash, yeah, she'll be there." replied a white Pegasus with a short dark blue mane. "And when she is, you know I'm going to get in between those legs." he declared as he licked his lips... ew.

"Man, you got no chance with her, you know she's a dyke right?" The black stallion said.

"Shut up Thunderlane, that's just a rumor, I've seen her get feisty before and let me tell you, that's a nice piece of ass I want in a herd." The stallions started laughing hysterically at their sexual desires. I was personally disgusted; they reminded me too much of old jocks at my high school. Luckily for me we were approaching the party. It was held in a nice big brown house; there seemed to be a lot of color coming from the windows. They approached the door and knocked, the only thing I'll see them do that didn't involve getting into somepony's pants. A familiar red stallion opened the door and let them in. He was about to close the door until he spotted me a distance away.

"Hey there stranger, I didn't think I would see ya around here." the familiar Big Mac said, waving for me to come in. I shyly stepped up and entered the party house. I entered and... well, I could say I've seen weirder, crazier parties. Everything was actually pretty tamed for a freshman college party. No drunks, no public sex, not even a game of beer pong. I'm pretty sure if we were back in Philly half of these ponies would be drunk as a skunk.

"T-Thanks, Big Mac... oh, and the names Lloyd, sorry I didn't mention it sooner." I said as I meekly shook his hand, again, getting slightly crushed by it.

"It's no problem there Lloyd. So, first party?" He asked like he knew I didn't get out much... which he would be correct.

"Y-Yeah, I'm new to the whole party thing. I was actually invited here by a mare, but I don't see her anywhere."

"A mare huh, don't get me wrong here, but I didn't think ya were a playcolt."

"N-N-No, we just talked, nothing like that happened."

"Mhmm... so, do ya know the mare's name?"

"Um, I think its Twilight Spookle?"

"Ya mean Twilight Sparkle?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Hmm... follow me." Big Mac lead me over to a quiet corner in the house which gave a good view of most of the ponies in the room. He leaned over a wall, which I decided to copy. "Ya see that orange mare with the big ol' hat." he gestured to a mare talking to a white mare. She did indeed have a big hat, a Stetson hat to be exact. She had an orange coat and a blond ma-wait, I've seen her before. She was that orange mare with the group Twilight was in.

"I think I've seen her before, the white one too." I said

"The orange mare happens to be mah sister." Big Mac said in a matter-of-factly tone. I was caught by surprise, but quickly figured that it actually made sense. Big Mac has a strong western accent and the orange mare looks a lot like those sexy cowgirls in playboy... I didn't say that.

"You don't say?" I said with interest.

"Her name's Applejack, and that white mare she's conversing with is her friend Rarity." Big Mac said with wisdom.

"I'm sorry for asking, but why are you telling me this?"

"Those two are friends with Twilight. Mah friend, as some worldly advice from a sophomore who's never had a marefriend, never focus on one mare." Big Mac said as he patted me on the shoulder. I was fucking baffled, Big Mac never had a marefriend? That was insane to think. The stallion had muscles fit for a body builder and was probably the nicest pony I've met so far. However, I was still confused by why he was telling me this

"Not to be rude again Mac, but why point them out to me?" I said as I looked at the mares.

"Just pointing out potential friends for ya partner." Big Mac said with a smile. I always never had the courage to approach people, let alone a different race. Big Mac kind of reminded me of my sole black friend, who was like Kevin Hart except tall. He always tried to get me to socialize with people, which ended with mixed results at best. Also, don't tell him I said this to you, he was a closet bisexual. Yeah, it was quite the shock when he finally told me about it. Although, he and my barber friend do make a cute couple.

"Thanks Mac, it means a lot." I said, feeling that I got my first friend here. Big Mac just smiled back as he looked around the room of partying ponies. "Not a lot of ponies are... well, doing crazy shit in a freshman party." I said, but soon I was struck with a question. "Mac, I just realized you’re a sophomore at a freshman party."

"Ya know Pinkie Pie?" Big Mac asked.

"She was the one who sent the invitations?"

"And she'll be the life of this here party."

"Why?"

"Just wait and see partner." Big Mac noticed something after he assured me. I looked to where he was looking and saw those same two stallions I followed next to... that same blue mare again. "Soarin" as I recall was chatting it up with her while his friend just nodded. The blue mare, who I now assumed was Rainbow Dash, looked bored as hell. I felt sorry for that mare, I've seen too many girls put up with horny guys back in high school.

"Poor Rainbow, had to put up with Soarin for 4 years in high school." Big Mac said as he observed the scene at hand.

"Why's he so occupied to get her attention?" I asked.

"Rainbow's that one mare that's known for being uninterested in relationships. Someponies think she's a fillyfooler, but I know otherwise."

"A filly what?"

"A fillyfooler, like dem lesbians you humans have."

"Oh, well that makes it easier." I said as we continued watching the sad display that was Soarin flirting. "So why's Soarin so interested?"

"Well, it comes from what ah previously mentioned, plus Dash happens to be one of the best fliers Equestria's ever seen."

"That good, huh?"

"One of the best, but enough about that, she'll be fine. What I'm really concerned about for you is to fine Twilight." Big Mac gave me a wink and chuckled at the red that accompanied my face. Mac's eyes shot up when he saw something in the distance. I looked to where he was looking only to find Twilight in another corner of the room. Mac looked at me with a smile and lightly pushed me towards her. "Go get 'em cowcolt." He said and gave me a nonchalant wink. I gave him an annoyed look before I walked over to the mare sitting and reading.

"Uh... hey." I said to her. She looked up from her book and turned to my direction. She gave me an immediate smile when she caught my eye.

"Hey, I didn't think you'd make it." Twilight said as I took a seat next to her.

"Well, you know, when a girl asks me to go to a party, I answer the call ahead of time." I remarked as we both chuckled.

"Liking the party so far?"

"Haven't done anything yet, thought I would just sit back and drink some punch."

"That's not what you should do at a party."

"Ahem." I gestured towards her book and watched gleefully as she blushed. "Don't worry, I won't judge... hypocrite." I whispered and chuckled as she became more flustered.

"S-So, have you meet any new faces." Twilight asked, trying to change the subject.

"No, although I think I made friends with your friend's brother." I said.

"Oh, Big Mac, he's a nice col-wait, how do you know-"

"He told me."

"Ah, that makes sense."

"So where's this 'Pinkie Pie' that's hosting this party."

"You'll know, she usually makes a dramatic entrance." At that moment a huge cake was pulled out from a room. It had vanilla frosting and was as gigantic as Sarah Palin's Alaskan vagina. Twilight looked at that cake like it was going to implode, and it did. The cake literally splattered everywhere and everypony got covered with the vanilla goodness. Out of the cake was the same pink Earth Pony I saw with Twilight before and... hot dayum. This anthro was fucking smoking, ample breasts, nice ass, and that vanilla frosting wasn't helping. I couldn't keep my eyes from the bubbly pink mare, the way she giggled, the way her breasts just lightly bounced, damn I'm lonely. Twilight snapped her fingers and brought me out of my trance.

"Officer, I did not do it." I said as I held my hands up in the air, making Twilight giggle.

"Calm down Lloyd, that's just Pinkie Pie." Twilight said reassuringly.

"Does she usually stay inside cakes." I asked. Twilight just gave me a sheepish look as she saw something approaching us.

"Hello Pinkie." I looked back only to see Pinkie Pie leaning on my chair and looking straight at me. There was a good and a bad, the good, I got to see her tits up close, the bad, she was scaring me.

"Hi Twilight, glad you can make it, I thought you were going to read the night away." Pinkie said, not averting her eyes from me.

"I would have, but you gave me those guilt eyes of yours." Twilight said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"You need to meet more ponies, besides, parties are super-duper-uber fun." she said was pulled a party popper. She finally leaned into my face, causing me to get flustered. "Who's your friend, does he shave, is he actually a pony in a human disguise, is he a hitman form Prance, is the cake a li-"

"This is Lloyd, he'll be the only human student attending here." Twilight interrupted. I was still in a staring contest with Pinkie, although her poofy pink hair made it difficult.

"Nice to meet you." I squeaked out, trying not to eye the bountiful cleavage in front of me. Pinkie giggled and backed away, disappeared in a flash, and reappeared next to Twilight. I was baffled, how the flipping fuck-a-doodle cock tease did she do that. Twilight just gave me this look that said "just go with it. "So, uh, nice party." I stated bluntly.

"Thanks, I hope you're gonna stay longer, were gonna have cupcakes." Pinkie said giddily, although cupcakes always made me queasy. As I thought of the terror's of cupcakes, a stallion, most likely drunk, called out to the party ponies.

"Who wants to play 'pin the tail on the pony'?" Pinkie shot right up out of her seat as this was mentioned.

"That is sooooooooooo my game, gotta go Twi, and Lloyd, I'll be seeing you soon." she then jumped off the play the game with the other anthros. I still had a light blush as I looked at my watch. Only 30 minutes passed since I got here.

'This is gonna be a fun party' I mused to myself.

Party Harty part 2

"So that's how Equestria became a united monarchy under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's rule." Twilight said as she finished her lesson. It's been quite a while since I arrived at this party and now it's 8:00 PM at night. Twilight and I have been sitting at this circular table for the whole party, just talking about random shit. At first it went from me asking a simple question, but this lead to a whole story about the construction of Equestria's political system.

"Okay, as much as I appreciate that talk that, and I wish I was exaggerating, took 30 minutes... but, that still doesn't answer why she's called 'Princess' and not 'Queen'." I stated, going back to my original question. "I mean, she rules over the whole country, so why do we insist on calling her princess?"

"Well, the title of queen was taken out of the records after the Changelings became a prominent threat to us Ponies." Twilight said as she took a sip of her punch.

"Changelings?" I said, confused as to what they were.

"They're insect-pony creatures that feed off emotion, specifically love."

"Huh? That's funny."

"What is?"

"Back on Earth, we have a similar creature in folk religion that are believed to be the children of faeries that replaced human children."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." Twilight stated as she stirred a straw in her punch. For some reason, I found Twilight insufferably adorable. It's probably the way that she's super smart, but a little dense when it came to some social stuff. When she talked about a funny story, I said it was "LOL material" (don't ask) and she turned her head to the side asking what a "LOL" was.

So far this party was, in my mind, a huge success. Everypony was having fun, drinking either fruit punch or some alcoholic apple cider. I'm guessing most of the ponies liked the punch since one pinkish one with a raspberry colored mane swiped some while no one was looking, or so she thought.

"Man, did you see Berry Punch take slurp some punch from the bowl." One mare whispered to her friend.

"Probably thought it was cider, the slut." the friend replied, the two slightly giggling as well. I cringed as I watched those two laugh at that mare like that, not caring if there was a reason behind it. I knew a girl in my high school who was called a slut just because she was told the head of the football team thought she was hot. It killed me to see that girl go through the day being berated for absolutely nothing.

"Lloyd?" A voice snapped me out of my train of thought, this voice being a concerned Twilight.

"Y-Yeah?" I asked.

"I guess you heard those two." she said in a low whisper.

"Yeah," I replied with the same whisper. "Mind telling me what stick was wedged in their asses?"

"Hehe, they're just the popular mares Lewis, and Berry is just an easy target for them."

"Berry?"

"Berry Punch, the mare who swiped punch. She's a nice mare when you get to know her, trust me. It's just... pony's tend to generalize her as a party mare."

"What? Like Pinkie?"

"No... like, um..."

"A cheap skank."

"Well, we could have just left it at party mare!"

"Look, I may be a nerd, but I'm from Philly, we say everything straight forward." I explained as I lay back in my chair, chuckling as Twilight gave me a look that reminded me of my mom. I took one more sip of my punch before my natural instincts took over me as I stood up.

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked with some concern. Despite me saying that I say things as they are, when it comes to my bodily functions, I tend to soften things. So, with as much false gusto I could muster in front of a woman, I managed to squeak something out.

"Tinkle." I squeaked out as I hurried to the restroom, leaving behind a giggling purple Unicorn. Since most of the downstairs has been just a living room and some bedrooms, I went upstairs to see if there were any restrooms. After walking up the stairs, I found two doors from across from each other that were painted blue and pink respectively. Now, despite it being plainly obvious that those doors most likely, like 95%, had restrooms, my instincts made me open the blue door slowly incase there was something different beyond the horizon.

After finally opening the door, I saw that it was, indeed, a Mens restroom. Unlike a regular bathroom in a dorm house like this, it had two urinals on the wall, one stall, and a sink. I was the only one in the bathroom, so I decided to just use a urinal. After my... "Tinkle session" (sounds like "Tingle session"), I was about to head out to join Twilight again, until I heard some interesting noises. These noises had an odd sense to them, like rough moaning-OH! Well, now I don't need to be told twice as to what's going on the room next to me

Although, I may know that some two ponies are doing the dirty deed, I walked slowly, just to make sure what I assumed was, in fact, true.

"WRONG HOLE!" a shout came from the other room, enticing me to run back down to the other party in this dorm house. I almost tripped down the stairs, but I was lucky enough to keep my bifocals unscathed. I walked back to the table where Twilight was at... originally. I took my bifocals and wiped the lenses with my shirt, but she still wasn't there.

"Lloyd." a loud whisper came from the corner of my eye. I turned around slightly to find Twilight with two other mares. She waved me over to her little group, which by the guidance of my black friend meant either two things. One, she wanted me over to meet her friends. Two, she wanted a foursome. My nerd senses told me the former was the most likely answer. I was reluctant at first, but my mom always told me that meeting new people couldn't hurt.

I walked over and now the mares became a lot more clear, in fact, they were the two mares Big Mac had shown me, his little sister and her friend.

"Girls, this is my new human friend Lloyd." Twilight said as she looked at me. I gave an awkward smile and tipped my head as a friendly gesture. The orange and white mares both smiled at me, the orange one holding her hand up.

"Howdy there pardner, name's Applejack." She said with a southern flare. I shook her hand like any gentlemen would do (so says my mom), but was met with a vice grip. I tried to hide the painful look on my face, but Applejack looked as if she knew that she may have destroyed my hand bone. " Eheh, sorry 'bout that." Applejack said a little sheepishly while rubbing the back of her head.

"Darling, please, don't be so rough with Twilight's new friend." The white mare named Rarity said, saying friend with a slightly sultry tone. She took my wrist and shook since my hand was currently throbbing. "My name is Rarity dear, and I must say, it's nice to see Twilight found a new male friend, although I didn't expect that special somepony to be human." She said with a smile. I was initially confused at to what she was hinting at, until I saw Twilight with a furious blush around her purple face.

"R-Rarity! It's not like that!" Twilight asserted, her blush getting bigger.

"Oh Twilight, come on, he seems nice." Rarity said in a humored tone, giggling as Twilight sputtered. I just kept quiet, a natural instinct of mine. Applejack just sighed at the comedic and turned to me with a smile.

"So, you from dat human world everypony keeps talkin 'bout?" She asked.

"Y-Yeah, Philadelphia." I said nervously.

"Fillydelphia? Ah thought you didn't come from Equestria?" Applejack questioned

"I don't, Philadelphia is in America, a human country." I replied matter-of-factly.

"Nah, it's a city in Equestria." She said annoyed.

"How so?" I myself questioned.

"Well... I don't remember, ah just know." She stated, giving out replies I gave out in 3rd grade.

"I know for certain." I said.

"I know for certain times 2" She spouted childishly.

"... I'm not going there." I dead-panned

"Hehe, Ah win then" She announced to herself proudly. We both looked at each other and chuckled at the banter we had just made. "So you have the same city?"

"I guess so... is your's spelled differently?" I asked, hoping we'd get somewhere instead of some banter akin to the "Who" band from Animaniacs.

"F-I-L-L-Y-D-E-L-P-H-I-A." she spelled. As my mind put together the letters, I face-palmed at such a stupid pun. "Something wrong over there sugarcube?" Applejack asked innocently.

"You do see the painful pun in the spelling don't you." I asked.

"Yeah, so? How's your's spelled then?"

"'Delphia's the same, but it begins with P, H, I, L, and A."

"...Well then." She said with a slight blush at the Equestrain name. Our conversation was interrupted by a loud clearing of one's throat, who turned out to be the white mare I had just met a few minute's ago.

"I don't mean to be rude, but we are still here." Rarity quipped while gesturing to her and Twilight.

"You were?" Applejack and I joked. We both chuckled at each other and Applejack held her fist up for a pound, which I returned kindly since I didn't do that stuff often. Twilight and Rarity gave us little pouts and we all had a good laugh. Our good times were done short, however, as a loud smack came from the center of the room.

"THE FUCK BITCH!"

to be continued...

Party Harty part 3

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

An Anthropologist

Author's Note

I'm Back Ponies!

An Anthropologist

"Caw Caw!"

"Caw Caw!"

"CAW CAW!"

Fucking crows, if there was one thing I hate about birds, it was those ungodly sounding monsters. Since Pony University was surrounded by a forest, crows would be on top of the buildings 24/7. Philadelphia was, thank Christ, only infested with pigeons, and they only made stupid cooing sounds.

Eh, I shouldn't say that, that was the morning me talking, now the regular nerd me is back. Yesterday night was quite the adventure to say the least, I would tell you about it, but I pretty much "monologued" about it the whole time, so yeah... Anyway, on with the morning.

I woke up feeling refreshed, like the world was just a giant massage, then realized I had classes, and suddenly that vibrating sensation became still and I was back to feeling hatred for those damn crows. But in all honesty, I definitely felt something joyous in me, something warm, something... Friendship like. Now, I did have a few friends that I should probably mention at this point since you people probably think I'm a sad sack of shit, you're not wrong, but hear me out.

First, I have a Bisexual black friend that I nicknamed "Juicer", because he has an obsession with fruit juice. It wasn't the best characteristic to associate with one of the few people I knew as a friend, but hey, what are you going to do. He didn't care about what stuff I liked or any of that shit, he only cared about what I was like on a personal level, which I appreciated. He was also my counselor for when it came to women, though he still hasn't shown me that "meow list" he kept rambling about.

I was kinda surprised when he told me he was in a relationship with the second friend I made, Tommy, or as we both called him, "gay parade stylist". The reason for his nickname was simple, he went to beauty school for hairdressing (and is quite remarkable at it, I must say) and he was so on the opposite side of the fence that nothing could stop his search for a Romeo. Basically, he is the bitchier version of Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al combined squared, or their son, your pick.

My third friend was my only female friend, her name was officially Clementine, but I called her "Crim", as in, "Crimson Rose"... Shut up. I don't know why I called her that, but she didn't mind, or protest for that matter, since she was mute. I liked to associate her with Quiet from "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain", except she had short black hair and small boobs. For whatever reason she decided to hang out with me even thought I was a complete loser, and trust me, I would be one to know.

I wondered as to what they were doing now that I'm out of their lives for a whole year, to which I immediately figured out was quite simple. Juicer was probably sleeping in an alleyway, Tommy was cutting someone's hair, and Crim was "borrowing" one of my manga's, shit, forgot to lock that case.

Anyway, I got up from my bed and started getting changed for the onslaught that was college life. I traded my, well, nothing, for a beige turtleneck and some brown sweat pants, truly embracing the inner "fashion outcast" as Tommy would put it.

I started to head out to the outside world until I saw a pink rectangle on my desk. I went over to see it was a letter, which crudely had "Lloyd" written in black marker. Taking my chances this time, I opened it a safe distance away from my face and began to read the note.

Hiya Lloydy

Yesterday was super duper fun, except for the teachers stopping the fun... oh, and that fight

I hope we can talk again, the others are certainly interested in seeing you again

Ooooooh, maybe we can all hang out after school, won't that be cool‽

From, Pinkie Pie

P.S: there's confetti at the bottom of the envelope!

As I finished reading the letter, the envelope did indeed shoot confetti. I would have cleaned up the mess, but I had a class to get to. I tossed the pink envelope in the waste bin near the door and placed the letter on my desk before I finally made my way out to my first class, Equestrain History.

I had to say, my first class was pretty interesting, getting straight into what this country was like before the monarchy was set in place. I actually bought a small book of Equestrian history back at my local library to get some semblance as to what I was going to be learning about, and I have to say, these anthros history is far more enjoyable than I thought. It's probably attributed to- GAH, no distractions, head to class.

So I'm walking out of the dorm when I see, and somehow this becomes all too familiar, a mint Unicorn hiding in a bush. Now, back home, I was the cautious guy who didn't want to take chances, but I have this sense of change in me now that I'm at this anthro college. I walked up to the bush and just stared, not nearly willing to change enough that I would actually speak to the mare, I may want to try to be more outgoing, but I still am a pussy as of now. My staring only made it worse, however, as now I saw a single gamboge colored eye staring right back at me. I sensed no discomfort from this eye, barely any form of negative emotions, while I, a sad loser, was practically pouring with vexation.

It felt like an eternity was passing as I stared at this mare's eye, like nothing in the world was more important than seeing which one of us, either some random mare or a nerd, would blink. I should have been heading over to my class, this mare should have too, but a great disturbance in the force would have been felt if one of us had not won.

Or, in simpler terms, I was stalling.

However, without any notice, I was now face to face with this mare in the bush. I thought she was covered in the bush leaves, but quickly put together that her coat was a light green. Her gamboge eyes were a lot larger up close and I nearly had to move my head back because of the horn sticking out of her forehead. The mane was nice as well, a combination of light mint green and white was actually a beautiful contrast.

I was able to get a good look at her body through my peripheral vision, because I'm a smart pervert, and it was essentially the now expected build, like a super model. I don't particularly understand as to why the mares in this world are met to the standards that human photoshop makes, but damn. I can only imagine what the reason is, maybe their bodies function differently, perhaps evolution has made their bodies more presentable for mating, or the plastic surgery in this world is far superior to us humans‽

Or they were once innocent creatures that have been warped by the sick perversions of higher beings that watch over them.

"Hello?" I was snapped out of my daze by the mare that has been stalking me since I arrived here. I blinked at her sudden speaking and she merely blinked back. "You've been staring at me for the past minute now."

"only a minute... I mean, so have you." I pointed out as we continued are staring game.

"I've seen you around here." she continued.

"And I you, at the bus, and in English, and probably at that party."

"Yeah, quite the coincidence."

"I notice that you were staring at me those times as well."

"Eheh, sorry." The mare broke that stare and looked at the ground with her hand behind her head. Now, I was encouraged to ask her why she was sorry, but I had to take a moment to reflect on this one crowning achievement.

'I won.'

"Why?" I finally pressed the issue after my victory was well absorbed.

"Well, I mean, ugh," She was trying to find the right words to say here, a bead of sweat was trickling down her forehead. "It's just, I've never really seen a human before, and I've become very interested in your culture, I just have an odd way of presenting my interests." The mare finally ended her statement with a small blush of embarrassment on her face.

"It's fine, I understand what you're saying, let's just try to interact, you know, normally." I held out my hand, watching her eye it with curiosity. "My name is Lloyd Hannigan, what is yours?"

The mare slowly took my hand and shoke it "I'm Lyra Heartstrings, It's nice to finally talk to you hu- I mean, Lloyd." She stammered a little.

"So Lyra, since your interested, what do you want to know about humans." I inquired.

"Oh, well," Lyra finally stepped out of the bush and brushed herself off. "I'm actually interested to know if you know this, so, do you... Like manga?"

... Huh?

"Huh?" I blurted out. I wasn't prepared to know that anthros knew about manga, and possibly to an extent, anime. This was sudden, this was shocking, this, was, AMAZING!

"You know, manga, I think it's available in English speaking countries." Lyra continued like what she just mentioned wasn't one of the things that I obsess over.

"No! I mean, yeah, I've read one or two. Well, more like a lot, but hey, I get bored."

"R-Really‽ That's great! I have so many questions too! I hope I won't bother."

"Not at all. Before you do, though, how much time until next period starts?"

Lyra proceded to check her pocket watch, "4 minutes."

"Oh..." I turned directly to the school building and was preparing for a sprint, but I didn't want to leave this new mare hanging. "Hey, what class do you have?"

She was actually doing the same thing that I was, and was now looking at her schedule, "Um, Equestrian History, you?"

"Same, wanna make a run!" I suggested. She nodded excitedly and we began to dash. So, I met a bookworm, made some friends with her mutual friends, and now I'm apparently going to have a conversation with a mare who has an interest in manga.

'Thank you Author for finally getting off your ass, god bless you.'

To Determine the Future

As of now, I am considering rebooting College: An Anthro Life.

This decision stems from looking over my work over the years and thinking long and hard. After much deliberation, I have finally settled on one thought that kept sticking.

God this is shit!

I have removed most of the stories that I felt were embarrassing and not something I want on here that reflects my work. I felt that a good amount of time has passed and my ability to tell stories and to write have changed. Looking at my past work has made me cringe and I decided to put the past away. Although, I did feel that some premises had potential to be reworked.

I have decided that I wanted to reboot a particular story as I did feel there was still some hope for improvement. However, I looked at my two most popular stories and felt that they deserved to be continued as well. Not wanting to burn out on writing three separate stories, two of which with a considerable following, I have decided to focus on rewriting one of the two. I have created a Straw Poll for you, the reader, to decide on which one I should focus on first.

This doesn't mean that if this story loses in the voting that it will be forgotten. I will get to rewriting the second place entry eventually, but right now I need to make a decision on which story to commit to first.

This sentence is a link to the poll.

I hope this isn't looked upon too negatively and hope you guys have a nice day.

Author's Note

Pls comment below.