Trixie shook the remaining drops of paint on her coat before flinging the empty tin into the bushes, startling a random beaver out of its hiding place. Standing on the sun-baked outskirts of Ponyville, The Great and Powerful Trixie felt a smile creeping onto her face as she watched her coat dry.
It was uncomfortable to be painted, no doubt, like she had an extra coating of skin that didn’t quite fit, but a disguise was essential, and if friendship had a colour, she decided it was going to be lavender.
Everypony in this shabby backwater town was in love with a purple unicorn. They would love her too.
She walked along the street, certain that her disguise was working. After all, she had invested a large chunk of savings on the Showmare’s Magical paint, which would make her coat look perfectly natural even to the keenest of eyes. It would only last for a day before melting off, but a day was all she needed to forge friendships. With her irresistible charm, it wouldn’t be long before ponies would simply be begging to be her friend.
“Hi there!”
The voice broke into her thoughts, and Trixie looked up to see Pinkie Pie waving at her. Perhaps Pinkie had mistaken her for somepony else. What was she even doing here anyway? Trixie looked around to see if any pony waved back.
“Hellooo?” Pinkie pie said as she bounced up to Trixie. “You know, usually when I say hi to ponies, they don’t go all woogly-eyed as if they’ve been given cake without frosting.”
“Do I know you?” Trixie asked.
“No, but that’s the whole point! See, now you do,” Pinkie said, and Trixie relaxed. “And I haven’t seen you around before, and that means you must be new in town! Because I’ve seen everypony in town, and I haven’t seen you, so you must be new.” Pinkie nodded wisely as if she had just made a grand conclusion. “My name is Pinkie Pie. What’s yours?”
“Patty Cakes. Nice to meet you,” Trixie smiled and held out a hoof, but Pinkie ignored it.
“That’s great! I was actually here to pick up a beaver but then—” Pinkie Pie was cut off as she bounced up in the air, her hooves flailing and her body undergoing a series of spasms before she landed as if nothing happened. “Whoa! What was that?”
Trixie looked at her incredulously. “What’s wrong with you?”
Pinkie gave her a long, hard look. Then she shrugged. “Nothing, it happens every now and then, though I never got that one before.” She leaned up close to Trixie and whispered, “It’s my little secret!”
Trixie let the matter drop. This pony clearly had a few screws loose, and if that was true, there was no point reasoning with her. Still, a friend with the magic of friendship was a friend to have, no matter the circumstances, and this would finally be her chance to make friends. She gathered up her courage. This should be easy.
“So Pinkie Pie, now that we both have met and introduced ourselves to each other, I think we should be friends.”
She didn’t expect Pinkie to recoil as if she had been slapped. “What?! Be friends with you? I mean, which crazy, crazy pony in Equestria makes friends with strangers just like that? No no, Patty Cakes, I’m afraid we can only be friends if we know each other really, really well.”
“But I thought—”
“Dear aunty Pinkie takes friendship super, super seriously, not as some easy touch and go sort of thing, not like how you would decide if you should have cupcakes or muffins for breakfast,” Pinkie said. “Most of the time I go for cupcakes,” she added brightly.
“That’s impossible!” Trixie snapped, “You always make friends with everypony and anypony that you meet! In an instant!”
“Oh yeah, that’s true. Only if they aren’t purple.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said that’s only if they aren’t purple.” Pinkie beamed at her. “You see, I only know one purple pony, and she’s one of my bestest best friends, Twilight. So one day I figured, ‘Hey wait a minute!’, since there were so few purple ponies that I’ve ever come across in Equestria, they must be really, really special. So I totally need make sure that I know them well before even I think of them as my friends!”
“That doesn’t make sense!” Trixie shouted desperately. She couldn’t afford another two tubs of high quality showmare’s paint for a second disguise.
“Does so to me! Whoopiee!” Pinkie swung in the air as if she was tied to an invisible rope. “So whaddya say, Patty Cakes?” Pinkie gave her a playful bob on the nose. “You up for a challenge to be my friend?”
“I’d rather be thrown into a pit filled with venomous, acid-spitting cobras.”
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Oh well, suit yourself. I was thinking I could help you make friends with all my other close friends, since like, you look oohh-so-sad all alone and with no friends!” Pinkie’s eyes watered as she stuck out her lower lip in a pitiful pout.
Trixie ground her teeth furiously. She hated this annoying pink damnation, but she had to admit that her offer was remarkably tempting. Make several friends at once, all of them possessing the magic friendship? It was a deal. She would acquire the magic, leave this rotten place, and renew her career as one of the most astounding showmares of her time! She savoured the thought.
“Fine then! I shall take on your stupid, petty challenge.”
Pinkie beamed up at her, and began hopping along the street. “Follow me! Oh, I just know this is going to be so fun!”
It was a beautiful morning at Ponyville’s central town park. The sky was a shade of baby blue above the lush green oaks that grew in the park. The spring season brought forth tiny songbirds which circled around the branches, their light songs filling the air, mixing with the scent of wood and pine. Below the canopy, pink and white daisies bloomed among the grasses, and colourful butterflies danced in the wind.
The newly named Patty Cakes paid no attention to this. She treaded on the daisies and left a small trail of decapitated flowers in her wake. One of the butterflies daintily fluttered in front of her face, and she swatted it away.
“Pinkie Pie, remind us again why we are here. What in Equestria are you doing? Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie skipped around the trees, and was now laughing and rolling in the grass. “Oh I can’t help it, Patty! I can totally understand why Fluttershy likes nature so much. It’s amazing! The warm sun, the green trees, and all the fresh, juicy daisies!” She stretched her neck out to nibble on one of its petals. “Mmm... sugary!”
Patty Cakes felt as if she could breath fire, and it took every ounce of her willpower to hold it back. “Listen, I don’t have time for your petty games! We didn’t come all the way down here so you could play and make friends with the dirt.”
“Huh? Who said we didn’t?” Pinkie gave her an innocent smile.
“What! Why, it’s about time I strangle—”
“Juust kidding! Why do you always have to be such a grumpy miss grumpypants.” She laughed, dusting the soil off her hooves. “Come on, I'll introduce you to some of my friends, since you’re so impatient to be not lonely anymore.”
Patty Cakes followed Pinkie as she made her way along a narrow path, leading them to a small, peaceful enclave within the park. Patty let out a grunt of approval as she recognised Fluttershy and Rarity sitting on a picnic mat, a dainty pair of teacups between them.
Time to make some friends, Patty thought. How many did she need to gain this mystical magic of friendship anyway? She wasn’t sure, she savoured the thought of its sweet magical power coursing through her body.
“Yoohoo! Rarity! Fluttershy!” Pinkie flapped a hoof at the pair.
Rarity looked up as Pinkie Pie and Patty Cakes made their way towards them, a welcoming smile on her face. “Pinkie Pie? I thought you were helping out with the Cakes today.”
“Oh, I was going to, but then I needed to pick up my—er, my favourite super sugary sweets from Bubble and Bauble’s bubblegum store! Anyway, that’s where I met this pony here!”—Pinkie shoved Patty Cakes in front of her—“Rarity, Fluttershy, this is my newest friend-to-be, Patty Cakes.”
“Why don’t you just declare me to be your friend already,” Patty Cakes grumbled.
Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Patty Cakes’ face and squeezed her cheeks together. “Can’t do that yet, silly!”
“Pinkie Pie, you act so strangely to everypony,” Rarity laughed, placing her teacup down. “Oh, did you intend to join for tea? I’m not sure if I have enough teacups for four.”
“No worries. I always keep spare ones for times like these,” Pinkie explained. She shook her mane, and a dainty teacup with a matching design plopped snugly into her hooves.
“I’m happy to see that you’ve met my friend Pinkie here, Patty Cakes. It’s a shame that you caught us at such an ill time. Fluttershy has been having quite the stressful morning, you see” Rarity said.
Fluttershy looked down at her teacup. “Oh, I know everyone thinks it’s just a small matter, but I’m just so worried about Mister Beavertin Beaverteeth. He was really mad at me for making him remove his wooden dam again. And now he’s gone!”
Rarity began to fill two more teacups that had been readily supplied by Pinkie with piping hot tea, levitating them over to their new guests. She let out a sigh. “What was wrong with his dam, anyway?”
“It’s not really about his dam, but I’m afraid about Applejack’s orchards. I… I guess he did build it at another spot this time, but it just that this other spot also led to Applejack’s orchards, and I know Applejack wouldn’t like her orchards flooded, so I had to insist on him moving his dam somewhere else. He was really mad at me after that. And it’s all... all because of me!”
Rarity rested a comforting hoof on her. “I’m sure it’ll be all right and he’ll be back in a matter of time.”
Fluttershy looked increasingly agitated, her breath coming out in short gasps. “No, no I don’t think so. I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. That means he was gone for all of yesterday’s afternoon, yesterday’s evening, and this morning.” A shiver ran up yellow pegasus’s spine, and her eyes went wide with sudden realisation. “That’s... that’s one full day! He could have abandoned this place, or be stuck in a cave, or run really, really far away!”
Pinkie gave the sobbing pegasus an affectionate nuzzle. “Don’t worry Fluttershy, I’m sure we’ll be able to find your cute, furry beaver friend in no time. I’m sure that at least one of us will be able to find him!”
“Wait, we were talking about a beaver all along?” Patty cut in.
Pinkie flicked a hoof and laughed. “Of course, silly! Why would his name be Mister Beavertin Beaverteeth if he wasn’t a beaver? Why would my name be Pinkie Pie if I wasn’t pink? Why would your name be Patty if you weren’t… huh, that’s a toughie.”
“Well, I think I saw a beaver on my way here, if that’s what you’re interested in,” Patty said.
“You did?” Rarity and Fluttershy chorused.
“Yes, I suppose it had to be out of place because beavers usually live near rivers, and that one was too far off from any river, hiding in the bushes. I can show you where he is,” Patty offered before she could stop herself. She gave herself a mental kick.
“Oh Patty, you’re such the helpful mare,” Rarity purred. “I’m sure Fluttershy would appreciate that very much. Right dear?”
Fluttershy simply nodded, her pink mane hiding her face.
“Alright, what are we waiting for, let’s go!” Pinkie shot up to her hooves, flinging her teacup into her mane and trotting off.
“Pinkie, this wasn’t part of the deal,” Patty said sullenly as soon as the other two were out of an earshot. Her hooves ached from all the walking around she had done today, and now they were trekking all the way back just to look for a filthy, unworthy beaver.
“It wasn’t? What was the deal anyway? And if it wasn’t part of it, then why did’cha choose it?” Pinkie gave a big smile along with her questions as bounced merrily along.
“I don’t know why I chose to,” Patty confessed. “But it was a wrong choice.” How could she be so foolish? This probably had nothing at all to do with getting the magic of friendship, and it wasn’t as if she had all day. She rolled her eyes. Well, one day, to be exact. It was as if an unseen timer was ticking above her as she walked, counting down the hours until her magical paint would disappear.
“Silly filly! It was the totally the right choice, and aunty Pinkie is very proud at how far you’ve progressed. Far more than she expected, actually. Look at you! Soon you’ll be all grown up!” She patted Patty’s head affectionately, and removed it before Patty could swipe it away.
Patty gave an annoyed huff. “Enough with that. You’re not my aunty and I’m already grown up.”
Pinkie giggled, “Not when it comes to making friends. You’re still a cute little filly. But no worries, aunty Pinkie promises to take good care of you!”
Patty reached the street where she had met Pinkie Pie: a dusty dirt road lined on both sides by shophouses of various shapes and sizes. Great, now all she had to do was point out the bushes where she saw the beaver and that was it. It felt quite nice, strangely, to accomplish this task. Maybe it might even earn her some magical friendship points, and soon she truly be the greatest and most powerful—
“Mister Beavertin Beaverteeth!” Fluttershy squealed, racing ahead.
The pegasus found her beaver friend crouched against a shophouse door, busy gnawing the wood off. He had already made a large hole in the wood, splinters hanging off from the edges.
Looking at the damage, Patty thought a similar amount of wood should be personally shoved down the maggot’s throat for vandalism, but before she could even open her mouth, Fluttershy scooped the beaver into her hooves, planting a heap of kisses onto his scruffy head.
Patty gritted her teeth. “Revolting.”
“Quite the same sentiments here, Patty, though I wouldn’t dare say that to Fluttershy.” Rarity said as she stood beside her.
Patty Cakes gave a disdainful sniff as she watched Fluttershy murmur a series of heartfelt apologies into the beaver’s ear, who had his back turned towards her. “How do you tolerate all of this nonsense? Why are you all going through all this pointless fussing around when you fail to share a crazed affection for nasty little critters?”
“Well, I suppose it’s what friends do,” Rarity said simply. “I was never cut out for nature and woodland critters, but those things form the world to Fluttershy. Sometimes, it’s not all about helping myself, but helping others out, even if it means getting my hooves dirty and travelling all the way out of town.” She sighed. “Things are different when seen from the eyes of another pony, and even the smallest actions can mean a lot to somepony who appreciates it.”
Patty Cakes remained silent for a few moments.
“I have to thank you, Patty, on behalf of Fluttershy of course—that mare is just too caught up with her animal friend. It’s great that I’ve come to meet a pony so helpful, and perhaps one day we can sit for a nice chat over tea.”
“Perhaps,” Patty murmured, as Fluttershy flew to them with the beaver snuggled in her hooves.
“This is great!” Pinkie declared. “Fluttershy finally found her pet and now everything’s all better!”
Seeing Fluttershy reunited with her pet, Patty felt a brief moment of warmth in her chest. It was something she couldn’t explain. She hardly liked beavers. They were messy builders, and once they had stolen a few chunks of wood from her old wagon. She wasn’t too fond of Fluttershy, either; that rather insipid pegasus that could barely manage a sentence before cowering away in fright. But somehow, seeing the two of them together and contented brought up a pleasant feeling in her.
“Looks like we’re done here,” Pinkie said. She turned towards Rarity. “Hey Rarity, we’ll leave you to accompany Fluttershy and her beaver back home, okay? I promised that I’d take Patty around town today, and we’ve still got a few more things to do.”
Rarity nodded. “I think Fluttershy will want to thank you two after she’s done, though. She always does when somepony helps her out.”
“No problem, she can always find us later if she wants to.” Pinkie gestured for Patty to follow her. “Come on, Patty, let’s go!”
Patty took a swig of cider before placing the mug down on the table. They had taken a break at a bar, and Pinkie had kindly treated her to a drink, saying how happy she was seeing her growing up and all.
“Do I get to be your friend now?”
Pinkie gave a thoughtful pause before shaking her head. “Not quite yet, there’s just this one last tiny thing that I want you to do. And if that goes well, then I’m sure as pie you’ll qualify to be my friend!”
Patty let out a sigh. From the sunlight streaming in through the windows of the bar, she could tell that it was already midday. “And how long would that take?”
“Well, that kinda depends on what you mean by long,” Pinkie shrugged.
Patty rolled her eyes. She drained the cider from her mug. “Alright, what do you want me to do?”
Pinkie clapped her hooves in excitement. “Do you see that pony over there?”—She made a cursory gesture to an orange mare wearing a Stetson and sitting along a row of stools—“She’s my friend Applejack, and she’s always working really hard on the fields of Sweet Apple Acres. A few months ago, her old barn was destroyed by mysterious wood-eating butterflies.”
Patty tried to look innocent while pushing down a surge of embarrassment. She had been the culprit of this, challenging Twilight to yet another magical skills test that had ended badly. She had been promptly kicked out of Ponyville after that, which was by comparison much less painful than the other times she had been kicked out.
In fact, she had been literally kicked out once, when she had gotten drunk and decided to pick a fight with Big Mac over a half-filled bottle of cider. She thought her face might have caved in from the buck he gave her, but it was still as beautiful as ever, just like the rest of her. It reminded her of another incident, she was kicked out by an angry mob after innocently borrowing a delicious heart-shaped candy from a filly. It wasn’t her fault, really, it seemed that everyone in this town simply hated her.
“I want you to build a new barn for her,” Pinkie finished.
“You’re joking.” Patty looked up to see if Pinkie was being serious, and the pink pony looked as serious as can be. Which was in fact not very serious at all, but Patty had been with this pony for long enough to tell.
“Silly filly, do I look like I’m kidding? I mean, maybe I always look like I’m kidding but this time I’m not. Applejack’s got all the materials ready, so I’m sure it’ll be no problem with a little bit of your hocus pocus magic. Go on! And don’t tell her it’s a favour from aunty Pinkie!”
A moment later Patty Cakes found herself stalking stiff-legged up to the farmer, who had just finished her drink and was joking with the bartender. It seemed like Patty would never be able to argue with that pink damnation. At least there was finally a tangible end to her deal, where she would at least have made a single friend after all that work. She tapped on Applejack to get her attention.
“Hey Applejack, I’m Patty Cakes and I’m here to help you build your barn.”
The farmer looked at her in stunned awe. It wasn’t every day that she had strangers walking up to her and offering help. In fact, it had never happened at all. “Wow, miss, I don’t know who you are, but how’d you know I needed help with my barn?”
“Let’s just assume it’s a long and unimportant story. I’m here to help you, and then I’m off.”
Applejack’s jaw dropped open. “By Celestia, I’d say only a pony as great as her could have sent you. I sure as hay ain’t gonna say no to a good pair of hooves—or horn, rather. With the help of a unicorn, I reckon Rainbow Dash and I would be able to set the whole thing up in no time!”
“Yes yes, cut the gibberish and let’s get to work,” Patty said in annoyance. She wished Applejack would wipe that look of moonstruck adoration off her face.
“Of course, miss, of course. Right this way.” Applejack promptly strode out of the bar, a light bounce appearing in her step.
As they entered Sweet Apple Acres, Patty could already make out the partially constructed barn. Stacks of wood and other half-completed structures were lying around, including several long wood frames, which a single cyan pegasus was checking to be of the same length. She looked up as they approached, a smile appearing on her face as she flew up to them, her rainbow mane forming a trail behind.
“Hey AJ, hey AJ’s friend. Oh sweet! We’ve got a unicorn now.”
“Yeap, thank ya plenty for getting everything ready, Rainbow,” Applejack said.
“No problem, I’m always willing to help a friend in need—as long as you don’t forget to keep some cider for me this coming season! I always don’t get any while Pinkie gets like, fifty cups.” Rainbow Dash huffed at the severe injustice brought upon her.
“Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure you get some this time. Now let’s get started,” Applejack began in a business like tone. “Rainbow, you and I can do all the heavy lifting to get the vertical supports up. Patty, once we’ve done that, we’ll need your magic to hold ‘em in place. Once it’s all good and stable, we should have no problem nailing the horizontal connectors in place.”
Applejack started by heaving up a wooden frame and balancing it vertically. “Right, this one goes here. Rainbow, could ya shift that over there? Yeah, that’s good.”
Rainbow Dash gave a powerful flap of her wings as she slotted a beam into place on the half constructed barn. “Say, Patty, did you happen to know about me before you, you know, met me?”
Patty nodded. “I was aware of your existence.”
Rainbow Dash gave an excited flap of her wings and held up a hoof. “Oh oh, lemme guess! It was from the most recent issue of the Super Speedsters magazine. Or the latest Daring Do book! It’s my favourite. It’s called Daring Do, Rainbow Dash, and the Ring of Destiny.”
“It doesn’t have your name in the title,” Applejack deadpanned. She pulled on the a couple of ropes while Patty worked to stabilise the entire structure.
Rainbow brushed the comment aside. “Whatever. I’m in the book, so they should totally put me in the title too.” She turned back to Patty Cakes. “So, did you read about me from there? Did ya?”
Patty Cakes rolled her eyes. “Obviously not. Everyone knows the bearers of the Elements of Harmony without even being told. The ones that saved Equestria using the power of friendship, time and again.”
“Oh,” Rainbow Dash seemed to deflate a little, as if having the power of friendship was somewhat less cool than her other achievements. “That’s nice too, I guess.”
“Of course it is, only the great and powerful should have access to such power, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, kinda.” Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest, and Patty rolled her eyes again.
Applejack let out a derisive snort. “You’re always getting too full of yourself, Rainbow Dash.”
“Hey! Remember who’s helping you with the barn,” Rainbow shot back.
“Only because you want my cider.”
“I never—Oh yeah, that’s true.” Rainbow Dash looked sheepish. Her eyes trailing to the ground, and then moving up to Patty. “Uh, what’s in it for you?”
“Friendship,” Patty said, not taking her eyes off a levitating beam of wood.
There was a minute of silence as Rainbow Dash scratched her head. “Oo-kay, that’s nice.”
As Patty slotted yet another beam into place, she could see how the barn coming together, just like how the magic of friendship would be drawing closer to being hers. They were almost done with the structure, and then Patty could release all her magic and be done with the job. And soon, very soon, the she would have accomplished what she came for.
“I don’t know if I can ever thank you two enough for helping me out so much today,” Applejack said. “It’s the best thing that’s happened. Since the time Trixie ruined the old barn, I mean.”
Patty Cakes was pulled out of her thoughts as the name hit her. “Did you say something about Trixie?”
“Yeah, Trixie. Do you know her?” Applejack said, picking up a few planks from the ground.
“How did that go again?” Rainbow cut in. “She was trying to make the butterflies eat grass as part of a challenge to Twilight, was it?”
Patty quickly said, “Whatever happened, I’m sure the damage couldn’t have been that bad. Look, we’ve gotten a new barn fixed now.”
Applejack nearly dropped the planks she was carrying. “It ain’t as simple as fixing a new one up! Not to sound rude and all, Patty, but nopony cept an Apple family member knows how much the barn means to us Apples. Why, it’s practically part of the Apple tradition! We’ve been having that barn all the way since my Granny Smith’s time, and now it’s all been reduced to food for the timber wolves.” Her eyes darkened. “If I get my hooves on that nasty Trixie mare, Celestia stop me I’ll give her a good taste of my apple-bucking skills.”
“Oh stop it,” Patty Cakes forced a half-hearted laugh out of her lips, betraying the rising storm in her chest. How dare that dirty farmer talk about Trixie like that!
“You’re lucky you haven’t met her, Patty. There’s just no good in that mare. She keeps coming back to Ponyville like a hungry grasshopper to a field, setting up her fancy performances and challenging anypony to best her in her magics no matter how many times we kick her out.”
“Ahh, no biggie. We’ll just kick her out if she comes again,” Rainbow said. She had given up constructing the barn a while ago, and was flapping her wings lazily in the air as she laid back with the breeze running through her mane.
“Well alright, that’s quite enough,” Patty warned. “It isn’t nice to talk about ponies like that, whether you like them or not.”
“Oh come on, partner, you can’t possibly be siding with her! You haven’t heard the story of how she caused havoc in Ponyville by bringing in that Ursa Minor. She’d almost got stomped on by that bear, which wouldn’t have even happened if she wasn’t so darn boastful. Her tales of defeating an Ursa Major were as phony as commercial cider, and I thought she’d at least have the decency to leave for good after wrecking the town, but she still came back.” Applejack shot a wry smile at Rainbow Dash. “Say, how many times did we kick that varmint out anyway?”
Rainbow dash let of a bark of laughter. “I bet it’s more times than the stars on her hat.”
Patty Cakes felt her last straw crack, and she yelled at them so loud that a flock of birds flew off the surrounding trees in panic. Applejack and Rainbow stood frozen to the spot as her voice echoed several times, their mouths hanging open.
“You really think that she’s a wicked mare?” Patty fumed. She began to vent her anger on a rope closest to her, wringing and pulling it with her magic. “You really think that, just because of the things she’s done, you get to kick her out of town?!”
Even in her stunned silence, Rainbow Dash managed to move her head in an almost imperceptible nod.
“How dare you!” Patty Cakes screamed, tugging on her rope with all her might. “I’ve had it with you two! You two have nothing good to say about anypony other than yourselves! Have you ever thought about how you might have affected that wicked mare? Have you ever—”
She was interrupted by the loud snap of the rope, and she looked in horror as the scaffolding it was attached with began to sway dangerously.
For a moment it seemed to be able to balance its weight, but its time was short-lived. The scaffold buckled, and then collapsed, unbalancing the structures next to it, and the air was filled with thunderous sound of crashing wood as the structures collapsed one after another in succession. In a few moments, the barn they had painstakingly built together had been reduced to a pile of broken wood.
Patty felt as if she had entered some terrible dream upon seeing the destruction. Her hooves felt numb as she slowly stepped backwards from the wreckage. This couldn’t be happening. Her throat had gone dry and her mouth was uncooperative, and all that came out was a soft murmur.
“I-I didn’t mean to…”
Applejack took a step towards her. “Patty…”
“I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!” She found herself backpedalling from the wreckage as if it was the plague. At last, she could bear it no longer, turning tail and bolting off before anypony could stop her. She didn’t turn back even as her former construction buddies called out to her.
Applejack and Rainbow stared on in silence as Patty Cakes disappeared from sight.
“Jeez, what’s gotten into her?” Rainbow Dash said.
“I don’t know, partner.” Applejack looked as if she swallowed a mouthful of expired cider. “Come on, we gotta find Twilight and the rest. Something ain’t right here.”
Hidden in the bushes, Pinkie Pie gasped as she watched Applejack and Rainbow gallop off in another direction. She lowered her binoculars, licking her lips and trying not to think about how delicious the bag of popcorn she was munching on was. There were more important issues at hoof, and good popcorn could only be so good without a good show.
“Whaddya say, Gummy? Keep looking or start acting?”
Latched onto her tail, the toothless alligator stared unblinkingly back at her.
“I thought so,” Pinkie muttered darkly.
She jammed the binoculars back onto her eyes and continued to observe the empty patch of land where Applejack and Rainbow had been.
Patty Cakes didn’t stop until the calls grew distant, and at last she slowed to a trot, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. She was by no means athletic. Most of her time was spent as a showmare after all, and the only running she had to do was onto or off the stage, though recently it was almost always running off the stage.
She knew she was in big trouble now. Applejack and Rainbow Dash would surely be after her, and if they haven’t already figured out who she was, they would at least be wringing out enough bits out of her to pay for the damage she had done. Bits that she couldn’t afford, assuming she was willing to part with them in the first place.
Her hooves dragged across the dirt, and she let her ears droop. It had all gone terribly wrong the moment she failed to hold her tongue. She considered returning to Pinkie, but she swept that idea away as quickly as if had come. There was no doubt that Pinkie would find out what she had done, and that would spell the end of any hopes of a friendship.
Patty struggled to hold back her tears.
Was she really that bad of a pony? She didn’t think the old barn meant that much to Applejack at the time it was destroyed. It was an old barn after all, one that needed to be replaced eventually. Speaking of which, if someone were to have done that to her old wagon… She felt her heart sink with realisation.
I really am a bad pony.
Patty felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. It was no wonder that the only friends she had were imaginary ones in her head. Even under the disguise, she felt as if she would barely be able to face another pony again. Sniffling, she began a slow and laborious walk on the hard dirt path, one she hoped would be the fastest way out of this dreadful place.
As she walked away in the setting sun, she recalled her initial goals as she set hoof on this place. It was funny, really, that she had come here thinking she could acquire magic of friendship so easily. The desire for power had disappeared long ago, now that she knew how terribly unworthy she was for it. She would have continued her journey with her head down, but a painfully familiar voice made her slow down, then stop.
“Pay attention, Spike, we’re trying to find a good spot for practice here.”
Twilight Sparkle was standing in the middle a section of crossroads, her horn lighted as if testing out a spell.
Cursed Twilight Sparkle, Patty thought. She felt her sadness evaporating like mist in the morning sun. Couldn’t Twilight see that she was busy feeling sorry for herself? Can’t she see that a pony was wallowing in self-pity and have the decency to shut her lavender mouth for once? Out of all times she had to show up, she had to choose this moment, like the bane of her existence that ridiculous unicorn was.
Her revolting green joke of a dragon was there too of course, following her like an extra tail.
“I don’t think the crossroads is a very good place to practice this, Twilight,” the dragon joke said, keeping his head low as if the unicorn’s horn could explode any moment. “There could be carriages or other stuff with wheels.” He noticed Patty Cakes approaching. “...or other ponies.”
Patty Cakes glared at him, daring him to challenge her presence amidst her despair.
“That’s precisely it, Spike.” Twilight said, her eyes focussed in front at a point as she walked. “In order to improve my concentration, I have to practice in a place that distracting enough for me to get distracted.”
Spike scratched his head. “Uhh, wouldn’t that be distracting enough to cause your spell to go wrong and mess something up?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Spike. That never happens.”
Patty walked up to them, and it wasn’t until she was standing at the sidelines that Twilight finally noticed her watching.
“Oh, hi miss! I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you standing there.” Twilight shifted her eyes left and right, as if thinking why a pony would be standing there in the first place. “Um, can I help you?”
“Oh don’t mind me, I just happened to be walking past and couldn’t resist taking a look when I saw that you were practicing a spell,” Patty drawled. “I don’t know an invisibility spell, but just pretend that I am.”
Twilight blushed a little. She shuffled her hooves nervously, kicking up small clouds of dust. “You want to watch me practice a spell? I’ve never actually had anypony for an audience.”
“Like I said, just pretend I’m invisible.”
“Okay.” A flicker of excitement passed over Twilight’s face as her confidence returned. “Spike, do you think I’m ready?”
The baby dragon answered with a nonchalant shrug.
Twilight smiled. “I thought so! Alright, here goes!”
Just then came a horse-drawn carriage, and the air was filled with the turning of wheels and the thundering of hooves on the hard dirt. Twilight seized the moment to conduct her spell. She stood still on the spot, her face scrunched as her horn glowed. As the carriage swept past and moved away, she opened her eyes, and her face brightened with a smile.
“Hah! I did it, Spike! I can hold my concentration perfectly against loud noises!”
Against all odds, what must have been a single grain of gravel, probably kicked up by the carriage wheels as they roared past, flew directly into her eyes. In truth, Twilight had prepared a checklist for potential complications during the experiment, but never had she dreamt that even the gravel on the road could be a hazard, and so she could only react how any other pony would react—by screaming in pain.
“AAAAHH, my eye! Spike! Help! My eye!”
A solid blast of magic erupting from her horn as she lost concentration, and Patty Cakes would have laughed at the sheer stupidity of that mare, except that the magic bolt landed directly on her face. She collapsed in a smoking heap.
She heard Twilight’s panicked gasp, followed by hooves against the ground as she ran towards her.
“Oh no, nonono! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, miss!”
Patty Cakes was vaguely aware of rapidly approaching hoofsteps. Her vision was a cloud of blackness, and she felt incredibly dizzy. She heard other voices in the distance, and more sets of hooves. Those voices... she recognised those voices. Why the hay were there so many of them of all a sudden?
“Twilight! What happened there?”
“Somepony call the doctor! Spike, be a dear and do that for me, please?”
“Of course… fairest Rarity.” A small set of footfalls belonging to the voice retreated into distance.
Patty Cakes struggled to collect her senses. She felt that they’ve all been knocked out of her, lying scattered on the ground like a broken necklace of pearls. One thing she could remember was that all this was no thanks to that abhorrent, intolerable Twilight Sparkle. Why, if she wasn’t still under her disguise, she would surely have pulled herself up quicker just to smite that unicorn with her powerful magic.
“Uh, I don’t think it’s a very strong spell, Rares,” Rainbow Dash said. “She looks alright.”
Pinkie Pie cheered. “Oh lookie lookie! She’s coming around bouty!”
“Pinkie Pie?” Twilight sounded surprised. “Where did you come from? Actually, where did all of you ponies come from?”
Patty Cakes cracked open an eye, peering at the six faces that surrounded her vision, looking down at her, leaving a small patch of sky in the middle. She managed to squeeze out a murmur from her throat. “Curse you all...”
“She is all right! Thank Celestia,” Rarity said.
Twilight stretched her head closer, her purple face filling Patty’s vision and blotting out the sky. “Miss, I’m so sorry I lost control of my magic. I didn’t mean to hurt anypony! I really didn’t! This is all my fault... I should have double, triple checked that everything was right, that my distractions didn’t include those other distractions that weren’t supposed to happen. I should have! But I didn’t do it!” Twilight fell back on her rump, her eyes turning watery. “I’m... I’m a bad pony!” she wailed.
Patty Cakes couldn’t remember Twilight being such an emotional pony, and frankly, she didn’t care.
“Oh Twilight,” Fluttershy flew up to embrace the unicorn in a comforting hug. “I’m sure you were just trying your best to have everything under control.”
“Yeah, you ain’t a bad pony, Twilight,” Applejack said, laying a hoof on her back. “You just outta watch when doing those magic things of spells, alright?”
Twilight nodded meekly, rubbing the tears away from her eyes. “Thanks Applejack, Fluttershy. You’re always there when I need you... all of you are.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Rarity said. They all joined together in a warm group hug.
“How touching... morons!. There is nothing nice about me lying on the ground here!” Patty Cakes spat. Her senses were coming back to her, and with it came indignant rage. There was a slight tingling on her coat that only annoyed her further. “I demand that you help me up right now!”
The ponies looked at her, and there was a moment of silence. All of a sudden, she saw their expressions change. Their eyes widened. They mouths dropped open. Then all at once, the six ponies collectively took in a huge, exaggerated gasp, and Patty Cakes wondered what so darn fabulous about her words that needed such a ridiculous reaction.
Twilight began cautiously, “Trixie? What are you doing here?”
“Uh oh,” Pinkie said.
Patty Cakes bolted upright and looked around, then she let out a huge, exaggerated gasp of her own.
Her coat was no longer purple.
“No, no no no!” she cried, hooves scraping in vain at the splotches of purple on the ground around her. The Great and Powerful Trixie sat exposed as a naked mole rat out of its burrow, and for once she wasn’t happy about showing off her natural light blue coat. “This... this can’t be! There had been too much planning. Trixie was to master friendship! Trixie was to redeem herself! Trixie was to succeed!”
“Whoa whoa, hold on a sec here,” Rainbow Dash said, “Trixie turned into another pony so that she could learn about friendship? Why the hay would you want that?”
Trixie stomped her hoof. “Enough, flying mongrel! Trixie has no interest in what drivel you have to say about her. None of it was ever positive, and none of it ever will be.” She faced the other ponies. “In fact, Trixie will not hear what any of you ponies have to say about her!” Her voice cracked. “Go ahead then, spread the news that Trixie has come crawling back to Ponyville yet again. That she does not have any friends, and that she is a worthless mare! Tell everypony. See if I care!”
“Well, maybe we’ve never said anything positive about you because you’ve never done anything positive.” Rainbow Dash shot back. “Look at you right now!” She narrowed her eyes at Trixie. “Is this another one of your nasty plans to get us? Huh? Why would you need all that evil disguise stuff anyway?”
“That had been a disguise?” Pinkie gasped.
“Everypony, calm down,” Twilight said. “We don’t know what Trixie is up to, and we aren’t going around spreading news about anypony till we get to the bottom of this.”
“The only reason this disguise is needed is because you rock-headed Ponyvillians would never make friends with the The Great and frequently-removed-out-of-town Trixie! Don’t you dare deny this, after you”—Trixie pointed an accusing hoof at Rainbow Dash— “and you”—she gestured at Applejack—“said all those horrible things about me!”
Applejack shifted uncomfortably on her hooves. “Alright, yeah. Of course Rainbow Dash and I really didn’t mean ta say all that nasty stuff about you back there, Trixie. We just didn’t think you were Patty that’s all. I mean, if we knew that was you we wouldn’t have.”
“Well, that simply means you would’ve been saying it behind my back! That’s even worse!” Trixie retorted.
“What!” Rainbow Dash cut in. “Even if she was standing right in front of me I would still have totally said—Ow! Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested as Applejack yanked her tail back.
“Right, I’m mighty sorry bout that, Trixie,” Applejack conceded. “Look, I think we’re all confused as pie on what’s happened. Let’s just take it easy till everyone’s done talking.”
“Alright, so Trixie put on a disguise to learn about friendship.” Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and placed a hoof on her temple. “Let’s just assume I accept that for the moment. Why are the rest of you here? Rarity? Fluttershy? Did you meet Trixie as well?”
“Why yes, we actually had tea with her this morning,” Rarity said.
Twilight looked shocked. “You two had tea with Trixie, and she didn’t turn you into frogs?”
Trixie gave an annoyed huff, but held her tongue.
“Not just that, but under the disguise of Patty Cakes, she led us all the way out of town in search for Fluttershy’s missing beaver. Thankfully, he was still at the same spot where Patty first caught sight of him, somewhere along the old shophouse street, I think. I suppose if it wasn’t for her, we would have taken much longer.” Rarity looked her in the eye. “Trixie, while I have yet to accept what you’ve done in the past, for this I must thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Trixie supposes.”
“Thanks for helping me find Mister Beavertins,” Fluttershy added quietly.
Trixie felt a little strange. She realised she had never been genuinely thanked by ponies before. “You’re welcome, you’re all welcome. Trixie was unaware how much this meant. In truth, she thought all these favours were small and irrelevant, and… ”
“And that’s why they matter even more,” Rarity finished. “It may seem small to you, but it means much more to Fluttershy, and to me. Things are different when seen from the eyes of another pony.”
Applejack adjusted her Stetson. “Shucks, we’re all here to thank Patty for the favours she’s done, aren’t we? Well, guess I’m up next. Trixie, Patty—aw hay, whoever you are, I owe you for helping me out with the barn. I know you didn’t bring it down on purpose—not this time at least, and you ran off before Rainbow Dash and I could even say anything. So we had to find you.” Applejack paused, a faint smile appearing on her face. “You’re a good worker, Patty, and it’s not often that ponies offer their help on the farm with at the drop of a hat. Hay, it’s no wonder I’d never have guessed it was you. The old Trixie would never do anything like that.”
“You’re welcome.” She was repeating herself, but Trixie felt that was all that she needed to say.
“Trixie, I’m amazed,” Twilight admitted. “Is it really you that came back to Ponyville to help Applejack build her barn and Fluttershy find her pet? It’s not so much that I can’t believe it; it’s just that I can’t imagine the old Great and Powerful Trixie sacrificing her time for that. While spending a day as somepony else, it looks like you’ve really learnt about friendship after all.”
A caravan rolled past, and the trailing winds carried a few dried grass balls along the road. A light breeze blew past the ponies, catching on to their manes and coats. Trixie lifted a hoof to hold her forelock in place.
“It seems I have only learnt how unworthy I am of it,” she confessed in a defeated voice.
Twilight looked at her, and then she shook her head. “Trixie, that’s not true... you’ve changed now. You’ve shaken off the high and mighty attitude you’ve given for yourself as the old Trixie, and I think there’s another side of you under that disguise. The real you, one that we all want to know more about.”
Trixie felt a glimmer of hope. “Really?”
“I think you deserve a second chance. It’s the least I can offer… after sending that spell your way.” Twilight trailed off and pawed self-consciously at the ground.
“I’m all hooves for that,” Rarity chimed in. “I guess a true mare holds no grudges.”
“But seriously, after all that nasty stuff she did, I can’t believe she expects us say nothing about it.” Rainbow grumbled, then added reluctantly, “Yeah whatever, I’m in.”
“Me too,” Pinkie Pie added, wiping a tear off her eye. “Trixie’s all grown up. They always grow up so fast.”
“So, whaddya say, Trixie,” Applejack said, holding out a hoof. “Friends?”
Trixie looked at the outstretched hoof. Her gaze drifted to Applejack, and she saw the sincerity in those eyes. Briefly, she recalled having set hoof in this town with the desire get hold of the most powerful magic in Equestria, becoming a unicorn unmatched in might and ability, but now it was all forgotten. On hindsight, it seemed like such a cheap foalhood fantasy, one she had chased blindly all these years. A new journey was laid before her, and she had gained sight of something far more worthwhile than all her past endeavours—friendship.
One by one, the other ponies joined in. Twilight first, then Rarity and Pinkie Pie, adding their hooves on top of Applejack’s, and the six friends left a gap big enough for just one more. Trixie took a step forward, looking at the faces that beamed back at her. Slowly, she stretched out a hoof.
A tiny smile played on her lips, and it was the first time in months that Trixie felt happy.
“Friends.”
Author's Note
Here's a blog post discussing the 'behind the scenes' of this story. Do have a look!
