Waking Up

by Calamity Jay

Chapter 5: Experimentation

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Chapter 5: Experimentation

By: Calamity Jay

"So this is just for research purposes right?"

The next day came much quicker than you could possibly have anticipated. A nurse by the name of Sunny Day, a light pink unicorn mare, with a yellow mane done up in a bun topped with a nurse hat, came into your room to give you breakfast which consisted of what looked like… lumpy oatmeal? She informed you that it was oats, so you took a bite and it was quite literally raw oats soaked in warm milk. Your taste buds rejected it, but you forcefully swallowed it as to not look like an ass. She saw your reaction and apologized for not knowing what to give you. You just wave it off. How could they know what to give you? You were an alien creature brought to this world only under circumstance. Wow when you say it like that it sounds negative as hell.

On the side, there was a glass of orange juice, a couple slices of toast, and an apple. You drank down the orange juice, ate the toast, and munched on the apple. By the sweet heavens! When you took a bite of the apple it was the sweetest apple you’ve have tasted by far! You savored each and every bite!

“Well I must say, that was a nice breakfast,” you say, putting down the apple core down onto the tray. You took a few spoonfuls of the oats, but your stomach didn’t quite agree with it.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it sir. Well, now we know that you can’t eat oats. Again, sorry about that,” she said, giving you an apologizing look.

“It’s fine, but at this point I would’ve eaten anything. Haven’t had something solid since I got here,”

“I know, you had to eat. Today you have a busy schedule ahead of you,”

“That’s true, when am I starting on that anyway?” you ask raising an eyebrow. She walks up to collect the tray with her magic.

“Well, I think Princess Twilight has arrived, so they’re just preparing everything,” she says moving the tray onto the dresser beside you, moving the table away from your bed.

“So not much longer then, right?”

“Mhm, should be another fifteen or so minutes,” she places the empty tray on the bed table which she has moved to the foot of the bed.

“Well, I guess it’s mental preparation for me then,” you say leaning back and folding your arms.

“Why is that? Are you nervous Mr. Evans?” she asked sweetly.

“Umm, a little bit. Not sure what they have in store for me. Oh and please call me Leroy.”

“Alright then Leroy." She giggles. "And don't worry, I’m sure they won’t make you do anything over the top. They just want to learn more about your kind. So in a way, you’re helping us. And for that you have the thanks from the entire staff here at Canterlot General Hospital,” she says sincerely.

This brought a smile to your face. You felt you were doing a service to the ponies of Equestria, and that made you feel great. “Thanks, I’m glad to help,”

“Your welcome, well I have to go attend to other ponies, I hope to see you some time Mr. Evans, but hopefully under different circumstances,” she said opening the door.

“Right, I’ll be seeing you then,” you say as she exits the room.

ooo000oo000ooo

Half an hour passes and for some reason an armoured pegasus guard opens the door to your room and enters along with a gray unicorn doctor. “Umm, am I in trouble?” you ask worriedly.

“Oh no, we assembled a squad of guards to escort you to the laboratory to begin your tests. And we’ve also brought a wheelchair so you can get there without difficulty,” he informed you.

“Uh okay, but why the guards? I’m not dangerous,” you said.

“We know, but its just a safety precaution. We’d hate for anything to happen to you on the way to the lab. I mean, not to sound negative, but there are a lot of ponies who are bigots here in Canterlot and don’t agree with an alien in their presence. So that’s why the guards. Oh, by the way I’m Doctor Scalpel, and this is Sergeant Blue Sky,” he introduced himself and the light blue pegasus next to him, the latter giving you a nod.

“Right, well I’d hate for anything to happen as well. So thank you sergeant,” you said.

“Yes, now, we are running a little bit late, so we must get moving,” the young sergeant said gruffly.

“Of course Sergeant. Mr. Evans, are you ready?” Scalpel asked.

“Yes, I am,” you say, nodding your nodding your head

“Very well, Private! Bring in the wheelchair,” Blue Sky ordered.

In walked a young-looking unicorn guard, pushing a wheelchair with his magic. He arrived at your bed and let go of the wheelchair. “Shall I levitate you into the chair sir?” he asked.

“Um, no thank you. I’ll do it,” you say, moving your body to the edge of the bed and swinging your legs over. You take a breath and your feet touch the cold floor, you then inhale and lift yourself off the bed. Immediately, you wobble a little bit and the young guard helps you steady yourself. You turn around, and with the guard’s help, you lowered yourself into the chair.

“Well that wasn’t so hard was it now? Thanks,” you say to the young unicorn.

“My pleasure sir,” he says giving you a nod.

“Okay private, wait outside with the others,” the sergeant ordered.

“Yes sir,” he salutes and makes his way outside.

“Well then, let’s get this train moving shall we?” Scalpel offered. You nod and the doctor moves behind you so he can push the wheelchair with his magic.

ooo000oo000ooo

Four guards surround you in a box formation, with Scalpel pushing the chair behind you. You had to admit, you felt kind of cool. Being escorted by guards made you look and feel cool. All around there were ponies of all kinds going about their business. Some were hospital staff, while others were most likely visiting a loved one. On the way over there, some of the ponies gave you quizzical looks. How could you blame them? They have never seen someone like you before. Then, there were those that gave you looks of absolute disgust. Those of which were ponies who were dressed in very regal and fancy clothing. You tried to maintain your stoic persona, but on the inside you felt very out of place among these ponies. Here you were, in a world full of these equines and you were sure they saw you as some creature, a thing. All the hostile and confused stares you received made you feel a bit nervous. No wonder the guards were here, someone here might not like the idea of some creature in their world. Fifteen minutes passed, and finally you approached a room with a plaque across it that read 'Research Lab'.

“Okay Mr. Evans, this is where we shall leave you,” Blue Sky informed.

“Right, thank you gentlemen. Uh sergeant? Would you be so kind as to come back to escort our guest back to his room in an hour or so?” Scalpel asked.

“Yes doctor, we will come back in the time you requested. C’mon boys, let’s go,” the sergeant ordered. The guards followed their commanding officer and made their way down the hallway, leaving you and Scalpel at the door.

“Well then, shall we doctor?” you asked, looking back at him.

“Why yes, certainly,” he answered, using his magic to open the door and pushed you through.

ooo000oo000ooo

The lab itself was not very large. It was a small room with an examination table in the middle of it. On the left from the entrance was a few chalkboards with some notes scribble on the side of it. To the right was a window with a door leading to the room behind it, most likely where the doctors were going to be observing. All around in the room there was different equipment. A treadmill, most likely for the physical test, a tray carrying a few medical instruments, and a few other things you couldn’t quite name. “Well, here we are Mr. Evans,” Scalpel said proudly.

“This place seems uh, legit, heh," You laugh nervously. "Where are the others?"

“Princess Twilight and Dr. Soft Hoof should be coming out of the observation room right about-” the door to the observation room opened and in walked Twilight and Soft Hoof, “Now,” Scalpel finished.

Twilight had her mane tied up in a bun, she sported a pair of red glasses, and wore a white lab coat with holes for her wings to move freely. She reminded you of the Medic from Team Fortress II. Soft Hoof wore his usual glasses with lab coat.

“Well, someone is looking professional,” you compliment.

“Why thank you Leroy, are you ready to begin?” she asked giggling.

“I guess so,”

“Good, Dr. Scalpel, Soft Hoof? Are we ready to begin?”

“Yes Princess,” they answered.

“Good, now bring in the nurses. Leroy, we will be in the observation room. The nurses will be administering the test. Do you understand?” she asked adjusting her glasses.

“Yeah, I got you,” you assure the Princess.

“Good, ah here are the nurses now,” Twilight said

In came two nurse mares, one a unicorn and the other an earth pony. One of them was a charcoal color with a cyan mane and tail. The other a light brown color and a dark brown mane and tail. “Leroy, this is nurse Soothing Song,” she pointed to the brown mare, “And this is nurse Starlight,” she pointed to the other nurse.

“Nice to meet you both,” you smiled at them.

“Very nice to meet you Mr. Evans,” Soothing Song said.

“We look forward to working with you,” Starlight agreed smiling sweetly.

You had to admit, the two nurses before you were quite lovely (for ponies) and them just being there made you feel a little less nervous. “Thank you, I look forward to working with you as well. Oh and please, call me Leroy,” you say, giving a charming smile, remembering not to show teeth. The two mares giggle and give you an ‘ok’.

“Okay then, shall we begin?” Twilight asked. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and the doctors along with Twilight made their way into the observation room. Once in, you hear an intercom crackle to life. “Okay, can you all hear me?” Twilight asked through the intercom.

“Yes, Princess, give us your instructions,” Soothing said standing next to you.

“Okay, beginning anatomy research on Subject 084 aka Leroy Evans. Please begin by stripping subject of robe,” Twilight ordered. You began to panic as she said this, if they did this you would be completely naked! You’d be showing them Little Leroy! This can’t go on! The two mares proceeded to undress you.

“Wait, Twilight!” you begged.

“What is it Leroy?” you had to figure out how to explain your situation, remembering the conversation you had about your taboos.

“Uh Twilight, if you take off my robe, then I’d be naked,” you tell her. "You remember what we talked about right?"

“I understand your species' taboos, but don't worry about it. We're all technically naked here anyways. You don't have to be embarrassed."

“Yes, but my privates would be showing. I don’t have fur or a tail of any kind to cover them,”

“It’s fine Mr. Evans. When you came in, we stripped you of your clothing to examine your injuries. So not to worry, you have nothing to hide from us,” Soft Hoof explained. You looked to the two mares beside you.

“It’s okay Leroy, don’t be shy,” Starlight said.

“Yes, everything’s alright Leroy,” Soothing cooed.

“But are you sure I have to be naked?” you asked.

“We have to be thorough in our tests Leroy, are you ready to continue?” she asked. Wow, she can be really serious when she wants to. Now you had a situation in front of you. You had to strip down to your birthday suit in front of two mares, pony doctors, and a Princess… this was a situation indeed. Your thoughts argue with themselves for a bit, debating whether or not the absurdness of this situation was worth the gain of the ponies. Come on, you’ve been through worse.

'Oh how did things end up like this?! I only had a few drinks! A few!' You bite your lip, debating whether or not you should do this. Finally, you decide that you don't really have a choice in this, seeing as how you already submitted yourself to these experiments. "Alright then, Twilight, let's just get this over with.

“Okay, nurses, help him disrobe please,” she ordered.

The two nurses beside you start to disrobe you. Soothing uses her teeth to untie a rope on the back of the robe while Starlight uses her magic to encase the robe in her gray aura. “Could you lift your arms please?” Starlight asked sweetly. You comply and hold your arms above your head. She uses her magic to lift the robe off of your body... And well here you are, in the nude. A chill runs across your body, causing you to get goosebumps and shiver. The two nurse mares giggled. Starlight folded your robe with her magic.

“Feeling a little cold there, Leroy?” Soothing asked.

“Yeah, a little, but don’t worry I’m good,” you say, moving your hands to cover your privates as best you could. Your body shaking from the cold and from anxiety as well.

“Okay, just try to relax, Leroy okay? You'll do fine!” Twilight assured. "Alright, let's begin the experiments..."

ooo000oo000ooo

“Well, that wasn’t so bad now was it Leroy?” Scalpel asked as he pushed you through the hallway, with the guards on your sides.

“Yeah I guess, but it wouldn’t have been a bad idea to get me my boxers I brought from Earth,” you say, leaning back into the chair.

“Yes, I will ask Princess Twilight and Dr. Soft Hoof to allow you to wear your what did you call them? Boxers?”

“Ah! That’d be great!” you say smiling.

The testing session was not all that bad. Besides being naked, all they asked you was to show them your range of motion, you had to tell them the proper names for your limbs and body parts. All your body parts, including Little Leroy. You had to have the two nurses help you move around a bit, but other than that it went by smoothly. However, they also took a measurement of every part of your body. Every part of your body. You felt a lot better and for some reason you could move on your own a little more. When you got to your room, Blue Sky and his guards left you, and Scalpel helped you out of the wheelchair. Instead of limping to your bed, you walked by yourself with very little pain. At this rate, you’d be fully recovered in no time! “Thank you doctor for your help,” you say while getting into bed.

“Not a problem Leroy, always glad to help. Oh before I forget, tomorrow is the physical test, Twilight has asked me to make a report on your condition for the test tomorrow. How are your legs and arms feeling?” He asks you, floating out a quill and notepad.

“Well, I’m feeling much better. My legs and arms are feeling stronger than yesterday. Much stronger actually, kinda weird if you ask me,” you said.

“Really? That is strange. Well I will have to definitely report this to Twilight, thank you Leroy,” he said, putting away his notepad and quill.

“Will that be all doctor?”

“Yes, I will be going now” the doctor made his way to the door, “Good day Leroy!”

“See ya later doc,” you give a small wave as he exited the room. Now it was just you and your thoughts in the room. A few minutes later, the door opens up again and Twilight walks in with her mane down and her glasses off, but still wearing the coat. She is also carrying a few books on her back. You can only guess those books are for you. Great, now you had something to do besides just sitting there thinking about life. “Hello there, Leroy, I have a little something,” she says, floating the books off your her back and onto your bed, “I’ve gathered a few books on Equestrian History and Social Studies you might wanna read. Since you’ll be here awhile, why not read up on Equestria itself?”

“Ho ho, I always did like history, thank you Twilight,” you say as you pick up one of the books, “Hmm, ‘Guide to Equestrian History’ eh? I think I’ll read this one first,” You open the book to the title page.

“I’m glad you like reading, I remember how much Rainbow hated reading," she says with a roll of her eyes, "I remember when I was a filly, I would read a lot of books. That’s actually how I learned so much about magic, everything I know was from books. Reading is what got me to become Celestia’s apprentice and in turn a Princess,” she said, looking off into the distance in her reverie.

“Wow, you were quite the bookworm weren’t you Twilight?”

“Yes I was, and I still am, but because of that when I still lived in Canterlot, I never really had time for friends. I was always so busy studying and practicing my magic, even when others tried to reach out to me I’d always say I was too busy and didn’t have time,” Twilight said lowering her chin.

“Hey from what I can see, you have six wonderful friends who from what you all have told me stick by your side and help whenever they can. You have them, and you also have me Twilight,” you say, reaching over to ruffle her mane. Strangely, she gasps when you scratch her mane, just behind her ears like you do with a pet, and she develops a goofy grin.

“Mmm, that felt good. Could you do that again?” she asks sweetly. You again reach over and scratch her ears, Twilight letting a little gasp and a sigh from your touch. She closes her eyes and one of her hind legs begins to thump against the floor. You can’t help but laugh at the way she kicks her hind leg and her silly grin. Her tail also begins to flick here and there. For some reason she began to moan a little, she rose to all fours. She then placed her forelegs onto the side of your bed, begging wordlessly for you to continue.

Okay, now this was getting awkward. But for some reason, you kept scratching her ears. You kept scratching and she kept moaning, sighing, and flicking her tail. Alright this is becoming absurd, could you please stop scratching her ears? This is really getting awkward!

Without warning you pull your hand away and she looks up at you with a flushed expression. “You okay there Twilight?” you ask her. "All I did was scratch your ears."

“Mhm, yes I am. Wow that felt amazing, those hands of yours are great!” she said giggling.

“Well I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. And to give you more info on hands, they give us humans added dexterity in our everyday activities, allowing us to perform various actions. Uh, including what I just showed you,” you add, wearing a sheepish grin.

“That felt amazing! I think maybe its just been a long day and I was feeling a little stressed out. Oh, by the way, Scalpel told me that you were feeling a lot better. And he also told me that you were walking on your own without trouble. Hmm, you’re making a quick recovery, even quicker than a regular stallion would, interesting,” she said putting a hoof to her chin.

“I don’t what it is really, just one day after the other I feel a little bit better. Huh, I guess I should be out of here in no time at this rate,”

“Maybe so, but we still have another two days of research we have to do. And it’s the physical test, so rest up for tomorrow okay?” she then got her forelegs off of your bed, “I gotta get going Leroy, I have to report all of this to Princess Celestia. But I will be seeing you tomorrow alright?”

“Okay Twilight, take care,” you say giving her a little wave.

“Bye Leroy!” she says cheerfully opening the door and exiting

For the rest of the evening, you take the books Twilight gave you and delve into the sea of knowledge that they offer. At about half past seven, Sunny Day shows up again to serve you dinner, which comprised of a sandwich made up of lettuce (damn), hot noodle soup, and a glass of apple juice. It was a delight to chat with Sunny again, her bubbly personality made the mood just a little bit brighter. You guess that’s why her name is Sunny Day and her cutie mark is a smiling sun. Very fitting indeed.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you Leroy. I’ll be back in the morning with your breakfast,”  Sunny said, picking up your tray with her pink aura. “Goodnight, oh and try not to stay up too late reading’

“Will do!” you reply, she leaves the room and you pick up the history book and start where you left off. The book is really detailed, mentioning very important events and figures; especially of this wizard called Starswirl the Bearded. You guess he had a major hand in shaping Equestrian history, since he is mentioned numerous times in many events. By the time you got to the part where Celestia and Luna first face off with someone named Discord, the god of chaos, it was already close to midnight.

‘Damn, now I know how Twilight felt when she was always reading as a filly, oh well time for bed,’ you sigh and close up the book, making sure to fold down the upper corner so you don’t get lost. A huge yawn escapes your mouth and you turn of the lamp next to you and settle into the soft sheets. You look up at the ceiling, again having some pre-bedtime thoughts. A few minutes pass and you close your eyes. Soon you fall asleep and once again go to dreamland

ooo000oo000ooo

“Leroy! Good morning!” Sunny Day trots in with your breakfast in her magic. She seems cheerful today.

“Hey there Sunny, nice to see you again,” you greet putting down a book on different species in Equestria.

“It’s nice to see you too, here’s your breakfast!” she floats your meal onto the bed table and rolls it up to you. “Here you are, today you have egg whites, two slices of toast, an orange and apple juice,” she lists off the items on your tray. It all looks very appetizing so you dig in right away.

“Ahh, thank you very much Sunny, I appreciate your service,” you say biting a piece of toast.

“It’s my pleasure,” she giggles, she sees the way you’re vigorously eating your meal, “My my, you seem to have gained your appetite back,”

“I know right? Especially from yesterday’s physical test. I can’t believe I could run on the treadmill only after two days of regaining mobility. Kinda weird if you ask me,” you finish a piece of toast and start on the eggs.

“Yeah it is weird how fast you’re recovering, almost too fast since you’ve got here,”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s magic,” you chuckle putting a piece of egg in your mouth.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t doubt it. You were fixed up by magic so its a possibility,” she said. The fact that magic actually exists in Equestria escaped you, and you mentally facepalm again.

“Oh, well that I did not expect, scratch that off the list of things I’ve never seen,” you chuckle.

“Hmm, well I’m pretty sure that list is long. In Equestria, there are many things that most likely aren’t on your world. One being magic from what I’ve heard,”

“But, there are also things on my world Equestria hasn’t seen,”

“Really? Like what?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well a lot of great things like advanced technology, wildlife, monuments, and there are other beautiful things too. And from what I've read, Equestria has beautiful things as well." Sunny giggles and blushes, confusing you, but nonetheless you go on. "But there are things on my world that Equestrians should never see. Like the dark side of the moon, there is a dark side to my world." You mutter with a grimace.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I'd hate to slander the name of my species, but things such as technology can be a good thing and a terrible thing as well. On my planet there have been numerous wars, technological advancements that created weapons of war that are capable of terrible things. Everyday it feels as though we are always on the verge of war with some other country. I don't Equestria should be exposed to such horrors, I'm afraid that it will just end up as another Earth. I would not want it to come to that."

“But there hasn’t been war in Equestria for thousands of years, ever since Celestia and Luna came to power. Was there really that much war in your world?"

“Most of our world history is based off of gains from others in their victories in war. Simply stated, history is written by the victor. Many nations and civilizations all throughout time have waged war for various reasons. And well, the ones who win, are the ones who dictate the flow of history,”

“Sweet Celestia, that’s terrible. I can only imagine what you’ve seen,” she said putting a hoof on your hand.

“Well I haven’t seen that much, but when I left, things weren’t exactly great. All over my world there was still war going on. People always fighting because they want change, equality, and freedom. I guess fairness is a concept my world has failed to grasp,” you say softly holding her hoof in your hand.

“I’m sorry your world is so hard Leroy, I hope Equestria can help you be a little happier,” she said nuzzling your hand. It caught you off guard what she did, but you brushed it off. After what Twilight had let you do, you figured ponies weren’t all that big on the no touchy thing.

“Ah its alright, even though life on Earth was tough, I still managed to find some happiness,”

“Really? How so?” she asks tilting her head.

“Well, after college I found escape in music. I started liking the saxophone and the drums, so after I made some money I went to a pawn shop and bought an old saxophone and at a garage sale there was a drum set for a hundred dollars,”

“What’s a saxophone?”

“Well its an instrument made of brass, but its called a woodwind about this big,” you say estimating the size with your hands, “Reason why is because it uses a piece of wood called a reed, to make sound. It has a bunch of holes with buttons over them, and you can manipulate the sound it makes by pressing the buttons to make notes. You can combine these music notes to play songs and stuff,”

“Hmm, sounds great. It’d be amazing if I could hear the music you play sometime,” she says smiling.

“Well you never know, maybe I could work something out,” just then the door to your room opened and in walked Scalpel with Blue Sky.

“Well Leroy, today’s the last day! Are you ready to go?” he asked happily. You failed to realize that you and Sunny had talked for over thirty minutes, but hey you weren’t complaining, she is a sweet, pretty mare who was nice to chat with. You rise out of your bed, and stretch out your limbs, a few joints popping back into place.

“Alright doc, let’s get going,”

ooo000oo000ooo

You were escorted for the third and final time to the Research Lab by the guards. All the way over there you again received mixed looks of interest, confusion, and disgust. Again, you did your best to remain calm despite the numerous stares. You reach the research lab and the guard bid their farewells and promises of return, leaving you and the doctor outside the door. “Okay, Leroy, here we are. I must inform you that Princess Twilight will be the only one present and observing the final experiments,” Scalpel informed you.

“Really? Why is that?” you ask, confused. The other doctors were there the other two days, why would they not be there now?

“Hmm, sorry to tell you that I can’t say. She gave me specific instructions to only inform you that me and Softy won’t be there,” he said shaking his head. You began to feel slightly nervous, you were going to be alone with Twilight wearing neigh but your boxers; the instinctual modesty of your species coming to light.

“I suggest you go in now Leroy, she is awaiting your arrival,” the doctor said, pointing his muzzle to the door.

“Right, well thanks doc, and thank you sergeant,” you say with a smile. Scalpel smiled back and turned around to leave. After he leaves, you open the door. As soon as you enter the room, in place of the examination table, you see a small twin size bed with a single pillow and white sheets. ‘Is she planning to… noooo, that can’t be right. I gotta stop being ridiculous here man,” you think to yourself. ‘Its probably for a therapy session or something.’ Your heart jumps as you hear the door to the observation room open. Hmm, skittish are we? In walks Twilight followed by… Applejack?! Why is she here? Not that you see it as a problem, she is a wonderful mare, but what is the reason?

“Uh hi Twilight, Applejack,” you greet them nervously.

“Hey Leroy,” Twilight smiles.

“Howdy there, sugarcube,” Applejack smiles and tips her hat to you.

“Sooo uh, what’s going on?” you ask them.

“Well, from the research we’ve conducted, I’d say we learned a lot about your anatomy, but there is one more thing that I would like to see,” she says adjusting her glasses. Oh dear…

“And what is that?” you already know the answer your perverted mind has conjured up, but just to be sure…

“For this stage of research, I am very curious of your reproductive system and your mating rituals,” she said without missing a beat.

Well, that throws your non-sexual scenario theory out the window. “Uhhh, well when a male and a female love each other very much…” you begin as if explaining to a child. Immediately, Twilight and Applejack start to laugh at your childish explanation of doing the dirty deed.

“We know how it happens Leroy,” Applejack said, coming down from her laughing fit.

“But, we wanna see firsthand how your mating rituals play out. Applejack here has volunteered to be your sexual partner in this study. Of course if you’re not comfortable with doing this, you could always just say so,” her words hit you like a ton of bricks, your heart rate speeding up slightly.

“Honestly Leroy, if ya don't wanna do this, Ah'd understand." She smiles up at you. "Ah know you've never been with a mare before, but Ah'd be really grateful if ya did this for me and Twilight."

'Oh fuck, this is quite the predicament isn't it? But this is wrong! I can't do this! She's a pony and I'm a human! People back home would think that I'm a freak!' "Uh i don't know about this, just uh give me a moment to think will you?"

"Of course, take all the time you need, Leroy." Twilight smiled. You nod and walk over to the bed and sit down, trying to think about the pros and cons of what this will bring.

Twilight looks over to Applejack and whispers in her ear. "Hey, he seems a bit nervous about this, why don't you go talk to him?"

"Ah guess Ah could, what will you do?"

"I'll go into the observation room, if he doesn't want to go through with this, then I'll just come out. Just trust me on this one, I know you'll find something with him." You see Twilight walk towards the door to the observation room and Applejack walking over to you. She stands in front of the bed with a soft expression on her face.

"You alright there, hun?" She asks worriedly.

"Uh, yeah I'm fine I guess,"

"Mind if Ah sit with ya?"

"Sure, go ahead." She then climbs onto the bed and sits next to you.

"Ah take it you're a bit nervous ain't ya?" She takes off her hat and places it onto a table nearby.

"A little, just that I've never been with someone that's well- not a human. So forgive me if I'm a bit hesitant to do this."

"Don't worry Ah ain't mad," She chuckles, waving her hoof. "If it makes ya feel any better, Ah'm nervous too."

"Really? I guess that makes two of us then." You reply. "But even then, I still feel like I shouldn't do this."

"And why is that? Are you uh- you know, a virgin?"

"What? No!" She recoils at your outburst. "I mean no. I'm not. Like I said, I've never had sex with someone that isn't a human. Back on my world, having relations with another species is bad enough to get you in jail."

"Really? Well that seems a bit extreme."

"Thing is, and I'm not sure if Twilight has mentioned this, mares back on my world don't exactly talk or have feelings. They're just basically animals."

"So you're saying we're animals?" She arches an eyebrow.

"No no, that's not what I mean at all. It's just, they're not like you, all bright, colorful, with eyes that you can just get lost in." Applejack lets out a small chuckle. "And well, there's that and I would just feel bad for doing this."

"Why is that? If we both agree to do this then why should ya feel bad?"

"Because, I'd feel as though I'm taking advantage of you like this. That sort of thing happened to me back on Earth and I just don't want it to happen again."

"You mean using somepony for sex?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm afraid of."

"Hmm, Ah see what ya mean." She nods and purses her lips in thought; a few moments of awkward pass by, your legs swinging to and fro off the edge of the bed. "Hey, Leroy?"

"Yeah?"

"Mind if Ah tell ya somethin'?"

"Be my guest."

She takes a deep breath. "Leroy, Ah am an honest pony. Ah'm not one of them loose mares who have a new stallion in their bed every other day. In my life there have been maybe one or two stallions. Ah hate to say it, but its been so long since Ah've had anypony with me."

"I know how you feel. Being alone is the worst feeling. Its been years for me, what about you?"

"The last colt that Ah had was before Ah met Twilight. Then we started going on all those little adventures of ours and well, Ah kinda just forgot about colts. Its only been recently that Ah started lookin' for a mate, but sad to say there are that many good stallions these days. Most of 'em just want me 'cuz of muh status as the Element of Honesty and friendship with a princess."

"I'm guessing that's why you volunteered for this? Because you thought that maybe you could find something in me?"

"Ah was hopin' maybe Ah could?"

"But, you realize that what you want me to do is like going from step one to step twenty, right?"

"What does that mean? Ah really don't see sex as a big deal, Ah do know its something that you should do it with somepony that you really trust."

"But we met not a couple days ago. And I'm not a pony." You let out a small laugh. "What makes you put so much trust into me? Not that I'm not flattered, it just seems a bit unusual to put so much trust into an alien creature you just met."

Applejack merely smiled at you. "Listen, sugarcube. Twilight says that you're trustworthy and I trust her with muh life. So if she's alright with you, then so am Ah." You give her a small smile and she inches just a bit closer to you. "And uh, if this will make you feel any better, you're also kinda cute for somepony who's not a pony." She gains a half lidded expression and places her hoof on your hand. "With a handsome face like yours, it kinda makes me wonder."

"Well I gotta say." You get even closer to her and hold her hoof in your hand. "You look pretty good for someone who's not a human."

"Aren't you quite the flatterer." She develops a sly smile and turns around to face you. "So, what do you wanna do about it?" Applejack then leans forward and nuzzles your neck; the gesture itself is foreign to you and did not know how to react. She notices this immediately. "What's wrong? Am Ah going too fast for ya?"

"No, its just, can we talk about this for a little bit?"

"Okay then," She backs off a bit. "We'll talk. About what exactly?"

"Just uh, look I'm afraid that things will get weird between us. I don't like doing something like this."

"Like what?"

"It just feels strange. I don't know if its because you're another species or because I feel like I'm taking advantage of you or something! I guess its because I'm afraid of getting close to someone again, only to lose them in the end. I just don't want history to repeat itself."

"Ah get what ya mean, but hey," You feel her hoof on your cheek and she turn you to face her. "Ah don't want ya to worry 'bout that, ya aren't takin' advantage of me. Ah really want to do this and Ah was hopin' that you would too. Reason bein' is 'cuz there's just somethin' about ya that Ah find so attractive." Her words astonish you thoroughly. "Ah don't know if maybe its 'cuz you seem different than other stallions that Ah've met. Ah guess its 'cuz you're genuinely polite, kind, and almost as honest as Ah am."

"How am I as honest as the Element of Honesty?" You quip with a wry smile.

"Well, ya did just tell me all the reasons why you didn't wanna do this and why you're so nervous."

"Huh, I guess I did."

"Now, why don't ya tell me all the reasons why you want to do this?" She leans forward and nuzzles you again; it feels so strange yet so good whenever she does that. The way her soft velvety fur felt on your skin was amazing and believe it or not, you wanted to feel it some more. You move closer to her and run your hand from the back of her head, feeling her soft, silky  golden mane slip through your fingers. She groans a bit as you slowly run your hand to her shoulders, but there is something about them. You apply some pressure to the area and almost immediately she groans again, closing her eyes in bliss.

"What's wrong? Are you sore?" You ask, slowly rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah, a bit. Ah spent the last few days hauling some apples to and from town, so yeah Ah guess muh shoulders are pretty darn sore." She said, sighing as you continued massaging her. "Sweet Holy Celestia, that feels so good!"

"Does it? Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." You chuckle. "Ever gotten a massage before?"

"Ah believe so, but you mind givin' me one? Its been a while and-" You hold up your hand with a wry smile.

"Say no more. I got you fam." You bop her on the nose. "Why don't you go ahead and lie down? I'll do the rest." Without question, she turns around and lays on her belly, looking back at you with a light blush on her muzzle. "Just relax alright? I'll help you feel better. Just tell me where it hurts."

"Well Ah guess muh shoulders, muh back, and muh lower back. Mind gettin' those spots?"

"Not at all," You pat her back and fix your position so that you are sitting next to her, leaning right over her back, where you start rubbing and lightly pressing her pressure points; as you rubbed her sore muscles, she let out content sighs and groans.

"Mmm, ya know, Leroy?" She asks, laying her head down.

"Yeah?"

"Ya never told me the reasons why you want to do this."

"Oh yeah that, umm..." You trail off and think of the pros of this situation. One, you could have sex with her, break through the barriers between your species. Two, you could possibly find love with this girl, even though it will be a bit rushed. Three, she has an amazing physique for a pony as you can feel the strength emanating from her body as you feel her up. Not to mention she was incredibly small. You could possibly pick her up with one arm if you wanted to. "Well, for one thing I think you're a wonderful pony." You move down to her upper back and softly work your fingers on her.

"Oh sweet goddesses, that feels good." She sighs and squirms under your touch. "Keep going."

"And from what I can see you have an amazing physique, how did you get this fit?" You ask as you rub her toned back.

"Years and years of working on the farm can do great things for a mare. Such as earning muhself a nice toned body. And eating apples all the time helps a bit too."

"I can see that." You chuckle.

"Ya mind moving down lower?"

"Sure." You move down lower and start rubbing her lower back, just above her flank. "Here?"

"Mmm, how about a li'l lower?" You move down even lower to where you almost have her nicely toned flank in your grip. "Lower." Your heart begins to race as you realize what she wants you to do, her tail twitching back and forth. She moved her tail to her right, and you knew that you were staring right at it; she was quite literally presenting herself to you. You stared slack jawed at her marehood, marveling at how different it looked from what you expected. What thought it was supposed to look like huge leathery lips, but it actually turned out to be quite different. What you saw was a small pink slit surrounded by orange lips, it almost looked exactly like a human girl. "Enjoyin' the view there, Leroy?"

"Uh what?" You were broken out of your stupor. "You say something?"

"Ah can see ya drinkin' in muh flanks, why don't you go ahead and give 'em a rub?"

"Sure," You find your hands right on her flanks; out of curiosity you lightly squeeze them. They're nice and firm, but with an unmistakable softness to them. "Wow, you sure got nice flanks. Very firm."

"Aww, you're too kind." She giggles and lays her head back down. "Oh that feels good." You move your hands to her cutie marks and started to slowly rub there as well. "Oh! Yes! Right there!" Applejack yells as your massage her cutie marks.

'I think I hit a nerve. Okay then, cutie marks equal sensitive.' You couldn't hold back a grin as she was putty in your hands. "You enjoying yourself there, AJ?"

"Yeah," She gasped out. "Ah'll be honest, your hands there are really good. Ah gotta say you're turning me on here." It seems this has taken a turn for the sexual.

"Am I? I must say I didn't think that I was that good." You chuckle, still working on her flanks.

"Well Ah think ya are, gettin' me all worked up here. Ya know, you got to feel me up, how 'bout ya let me do the same thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Y'know, ya got to explore muh body an' all that, let me uh, get to know yours?" She says with a sly smile.

You feel yourself flush and your feel your cheeks begin to burn. "Uh, y-you want to what now?"

"Here, turn around will ya?" Reluctantly, you turn around on the bed and sit, waiting for her to do what she is going to do. "Uh, Leroy? Ya mind takin' off that robe of yours?"

"Uh, y-yeah sure." With your hands shaking slightly, you stand up and untie your robe, lifting it off your body, exposing your body minus your groin as you were wearing your boxers. Your throw it off to the side and sit back down in front of her. "So, what now?"

"Just relax, sugarcube. Ah'll be gentle, 'kay?" Without another word, she puts a hoof on your shoulder and runs it down your arm. It felt strange at first, as if a palm with no fingers was running down your arm. "Wow, your skin feels so soft," She mires, moving her hooves to your chest and rubbing them up and down. "And your chest- whoa nelly, are those uh, nipples? You're a stallion right?" Immediately you break down into a fit of laughter, further confusing Applejack. "What?"

"Yes I'm a male, its just all humans, even males, have nipples," You explain. "I don't really know why, but its just part of our anatomy. Only difference is that female breasts are larger and produce milk, unlike males. I think because of the estrogen in their bodies or something like that."

"Wow, so they're not sensitive or anythin'?"

"Well, no not really. Why?"

"Nevermind," She giggles and continues feeling your body with her hooves, exploring your whole upper body. "Wow, Ah gotta say, Leroy, you have a nice lookin' body. You work at a farm too?"

"Not really," You shake your head. "I just didn't have much to do on my days off, so I just worked out and stuff. You know push-ups and sit-ups and all that good stuff."

"Really? Well, Ah think it worked out pretty well," She continues her explorations, feeling all over you. Suddenly she leans forward and plants a soft kiss on your neck. Goosebumps form on your skin and you let out a shudder. "Ooh, did I hit a sensitive spot?"

"Yeah, you kinda did," You chuckle.

"Hmm, let do that again," Before you could protest in any way, she kisses your neck again, but this time she starts pecking at it multiple times, going up below your ear and back down to your shoulder. "Like how that feels?"

"Y-yeah, that feels good actually," You groan as she continues her assault on your neck. Her ministrations begin to take its toll on you as you can feel your manhood begin to stir in excitement. She begins to go further and further up your neck til she's now pecking at your cheek and close to your mouth.

"Hey, Leroy?" She whispers and you turn to face her.

"Yeah?"

"Ya mind if Ah kiss ya? On the lips?"

'I know I'm about to break some human rules here if I do this, but then again I just spent like ten minutes touching her sensually. And as much as I hate to say it, but she is really turning me on. You know what? I've already come this far, let's go a little bit further. Fuck it.' "Sure, I'd like that." Without uttering another she slowly leans forward and presses her lips against yours. It lasts only for a few seconds, but its enough for you to get a feeling of her lips. They are soft and supple, almost exactly the same as human lips, but the fur makes them feel even softer. "Wow, I gotta say I liked that. Wanna do it again?"

"Ah would love to," She moves forward and you embrace her again, this time the kiss lingers. Your lips glided seamlessly over hers, as if they were made for each other. Eventually you needed to take a breath, so you pulled back. "Wow, that felt... Great." She breathed out.

"I agree, but you got tease me, how bout I tease you?" You say with a sly grin.

"Okay, give it your best shot, lover boy," She winks at you.

"I'll see what I can do," You lean forward and kiss her neck the same way that she did, slowly going up and down. She shudders and moans as you work on her. Getting a little adventurous, you go ahead and reach up to her ear and give a soft nibble.

"Ah! That tickles!" She laughs, fidgeting about.

"Really? I guess that means I should do it again," You continue your assault on her ear, causing her to giggle uncontrollably. This goes on for a few seconds until you finally meet in the middle again, coming in contact with her lips once more. You feel her press her weight on you and you fall back against the bed, with Applejack laying on your chest. Too pull her closer, you wrap your hands around her back and hold her tight. You then run your hands down her back, all the way to her flanks where you squeeze them lightly, causing her to pull back.

"Oh my, gettin' a li'l grabby, huh?"

"How could I not? Wanna see what else hands can do?" She nods and you turn her over on her back. You start pecking at her neck again, then you begin to move down slowly, kissing her all the way down to her soft lower belly.

"Wait, what ya doin'?" She asks, looking down at you.

"Don't worry, just relax," You assure, continuing your descent down to her nethers. Soon you reach her marehood, and you could see that she was already quite excited considering how moist it looked. You were not sure if you should do this, but you might as well considering the fact that you've come so far. Taking a leap of faith, you move your face forward and plant a light kiss on her now visible clitoris. Her reaction is instantaneous as you feel her hips jerk upwards and you hear her gasp.

"Ah! D-do that again please!" She begged. You granted her wish as you pressed your mouth to her mound again and lightly sucked and kissed at it, causing her to gasp and moan even louder. Her taste was not that bad, you half-expected her to taste pretty horribly, except she actually had a sweet, tangy flavor which you wanted more of. In order to make her feel even better and to get a good finish, you slip your index and middle finger into her entrance. Right away she begins to moan even louder, which only causes you to finger her even faster and your own arousal to grow as well.

All of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, you feel her legs squeeze tight around you and you can feel her marehood gush with even more of her juices. Everything topped by her loud scream. "OHHHH MOMMA~!" You pull back and admire your handiwork, seeing her lying there all flustered with her chest heaving, it brings a strong sense of excitement to you. Speaking of which, your manhood has already hardened to the point of being painful. "Sweet Celestia, Leroy, that was amazing. Hands are fun."

"Thanks, but don't you think its time to move on?" You emphasize your point by moving your hand to your boxers to pull them down. She notices your raging erection.

"Leroy, is that what Ah think it is?"

"Maybe, you know what I'm going to do with it?" You ask with a grin.

"Ah might, but ya mind holdin' yer horses there for a sec? Ya treated me so nicely, how's about Ah do the same?" You comply with her request and you back off. "Go ahead and lie down, will ya?" You nod and lay yourself down, where she moves around you and sits in between your legs, eyeing your clothed erection. "Just relax and let me do the work." She raises her hoof and starts to stroke your hard on over your underwear, making you groan in the process. "That feel good, sugarcube?"

"Oh yes it does, keep going please." You beg.

"Ah guess Ah will then," She continues stroking you, causing you to get even harder than you could possibly imagine. "Hmm, Ah think Ah wanna see it already, how 'bout Ah take these off?"

"You want me to do it? They're kinda hard to take off."

"Its fine, Ah'll find a way." She puts her hoof on the top of your waistband and tugs at it. When that didn't work out well, she tried to hook it up and over the elastic. To help in her endeavor, you lift your hips up slightly and she ends up pulling it down just a bit, to where she can already see the top of your crotch. "Hmm, let me try something," Before you can ask what, she goes down and bites down on one of the leggings with her teeth and pulls. With a bit of effort, she pulls it over your raging erection and it pops free, for her to view in all its glory.

This is where you were kind of worried whether or not she would approve of your size. By human standards you were above average, but what about her standards? Would she laugh and say you looked small? If she did you could not blame her, she was most likely used to stallion sizes. "Wow, Ah gotta say it looks a lot different from a stallion's. All rounded and everythin'. But either way Ah think it looks nice and... Enticin'." Before you could say anything, she runs her tongue across the tip, and you let out a groan. "Oh, did Ah hit a nerve? Ah'm sorry," She drawls with a sly grin.

You just sat there in stupefied silence.

"Ah'll take that as a 'yes'," She laughs and continues to fellate you, running her tongue up and down your rod. "Ah gotta say you taste pretty good, sugarcube. Not to mention you smell pretty good too."

'Uh thanks?' You lay back and grip at the sheets, feeling your end coming closer and closer with each second she has your cock on her tongue. Suddenly, she puts most of it in mouth, encasing it in warmth and wetness while she runs her tongue all along the underside of it. You wanted this pleasure to continue, but unfortunately your body disagreed and you could feel that inevitable finish line fast approaching. "Applejack, I'm gonna come," You groan.

She lets go of your cock with a pop. "Aww, already? Ah was just gettin' started."

"Sorry, its just been a while."

"Its fine, but you got me off, why don't Ah do the same?" She then swallows your erection once again and pumps her head up and down at an even quicker pace. All you could do was just lay there and enjoy the feeling of your end coming even closer until all of a sudden you feel the massive tidal wave crash down on you as your cock twitches wildly and your seed bursts into her mouth, and you can hear her gasp in surprise, but even then she hastily swallow everything you shot into her mouth. "Wow, you made quite a mess in muh mouth there, Leroy." She wipes a bit of your seed off her muzzle.

"Sorry about that, AJ."

"S'alright there, hun, but," She moves up to sit on your chest. "Ah don't think we're done here."

"I didn't think so either." She leans in and you kiss her passionately once again, your tongues brushing against each other. You can feel her tail flicking between your legs and your cock becomes hard once again.

Applejack pulls back and positions her slit over your manhood. "So, you ready there, Leroy?"

"Only if you are," You smile up at her. She smiles at you with a half-lidded gaze and lowers herself until you feel yourself prod at her entrance and the two of you gasp at the contact. 'Oh, sweet Jesus, I am about to break the sexual barrier between men and ponies.' Finally, you hit your target and feel yourself slip into her love canal. "Oh fuck, tight." You groan.

"Mmm, you're pretty big yourself," She purrs as she slides down even further until you bottom out inside her. "Oh, that feels good." With the two of you in position, she begins to bounce up and down, covering your cock in her essence. Well, you just did it. You broke that natural barrier. Congratulations you just proved that humans and ponies can have relations. You're a hero. Both of you maintain this rhythm, slowly moving up and down, you pushing at her cervix with each time she came down. Applejack seemed to be thoroughly aroused, as she had her eyes closed as she rode atop you; a few times she reached down and pulled you in for a heated kiss.

'God this feels great! I am so turned on right now!' You think as she speeds up her pace and you hold on to her hips to keep her steady, her hooves planted on your chest. The whole time you maintained eye contact with her, feeling the intimate connection between you deepen with each passing second. Could you possibly have a relationship with her? A pony? Then again you just broke the human laws and she was more human than other women you've met in the past. So were you going to let the fact that she was a different species stop you from being with her?

"Oh, Leroy~!" She screams out as she seems to go rigid on top of you and you feel her marehood convulse around your member. "Oh, oh, sweet apples," She pants as she goes limp and lays down on your chest, exhausted of her energy.

"You know, I still got some energy left, AJ."

"Ya wha-?" You silence her by flipping her onto her back. Thankfully she was tall enough for you to line your hips up with hers. "What are ya doin'?" You answer just by bringing your hips forward and reinsert yourself into her. You steadily increase your pace, slamming your hips against hers. She moans out your name several times, and you kiss her with all your passion as you ram into her.

Soon enough, you start to feel that burning sensation again. The end was near. "AJ, I'm close," You whisper.

"Please! Inside! Ah want it!" With that green light you bury your face into her neck and move your hips at an even faster rate than you even thought possible. Before your know it, she throws her forelegs over your shoulders and pulls you into a tight hug, screaming out your name again as she came.

That was the last straw. You give one final push and let out a primal grunt and you feel yourself burst inside her for the second time, your cock twitching madly as you shot your load into her. "Oh Goddesses, Ah can feel it, Leroy." She gasps, still holding onto you. You lay there atop her, frozen from having came harder than you ever thought possible. Moments go by and your brain starts to work again so you push yourself up and roll off and out of her. Applejack then scooted closer, snuggling up to you and placing her head on your chest. "Mmm, Ah gotta say, sugarcube, ya sure know how to give a mare a good time. And don't worry, Ah won't be forgettin' about this anytime soon."

"What do you mean by that?" You ask, slowly stroking her mane.

"You 'member what Ah said right? Ah don't like just gettin' with stallions and leavin' em there like nopony's business. And we're two lonely  peoples..."

"I think I know what you're getting at, AJ. And well, I know we're both lonely, I don't think that having sex right off the bat is a conventional way of starting a relationship, but I do think that its a rather effective one."

"So whaddaya say? Wanna be muh stallion? My very special somepony?" She asks fluttering her eyes at you.

"Hmm, give me some time to think about it..." The surprised look on her face was priceless. "Relax I'm joking! Of course I'd like to, but if this is gonna work you gotta have a sense of humor!" You let out a laugh and she does as well.

"Alright if Ah could put up with Rainbow and her highfalutin ways Ah think Ah could get a sense of humor."

"Great, but another thing, you have to let me take you out on a date as well. Its only right, you know?"

"Well we did just rut like crazy, so Ah think Ah could do with a date."

"Awesome, so its a deal?"

"Deal," To seal the deal, you lean forward and share a quick kiss. The two of you then lay down on the bed and bask in the ecstasy that is afterglow. Minutes go by and Twilight comes out of the observation room; either she has a really good poker face, or she really was unphased by the wild sex scene that took place in front of her just minutes ago.

"Well," She clears her throats. "I must say you're quite the love machine, you lasted a whole lot longer than the average stallion does. Not only that, but you were quite big on the foreplay. Are all humans like that?"

"Yes, foreplay is a good way to go and most human males last an average of three to five minutes. Um, how long does a stallion last?"

"I believe the average stallion lasts about thirty to forty seconds. Give or take a minute."

"Jeez, that's uh, good I guess?"

"Yes it is, now you mind getting dressed?"

"Right." You roll off the bed and find your boxers and robe on the floor and slip into them while Applejack simply puts on her hat. "So, what now, Twi?"

"That's all for today, I'll take you back to your room whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready when you are."

"Okay then, c'mon Applejack."

"Comin'!" The three of you leave the room and Twilight turns off the light and closes the door behind you. After a short walk through the hospital, the three of you having idle conversation on the way, you finally reach your room.

"Ah! Home sweet home," You quip as you make your way to your bed and sit down on it. "Oh man I'm tired, I could use a nap."

"I think you could use a shower," Twilight giggles. "You don't exactly smell that great. I mean somepony could smell you a mile away!"

"Ah second that."

"Really?" You life your armpit and give a sniff. "Ooh, yikes, I do need a shower."

"Yes, you do. Well we'll just let you get to that and me and Applejack will be on our way. Anything else you might need?"

"No I don't think so, I still got some of those books over there that I can read so I won't be that bored." You point back to the books on the nightstand.

"Great, Applejack? Ready to go?" She asks her friend.

"Ah'm good to go if ya'll are, Twi."

"Okay then, Leroy? We will be seeing you very soon." She turns around with Applejack and they trot towards the door. "Bye now!" You watch the lavender princess leave the room, but Applejack lingers. She turns back around to face you, her expression becoming nervous, her hoof kicking at the floor.

"AJ? Something wrong?" You walk up to her and kneel down to face her. Instead of answering verbally, she just gives you a lingering kiss on the lips. After a few seconds she pulls back. "I'm gonna take that as no?"

"Don't worry, Leroy," She pulls you in for a hug. "Everythin' is fine."

"I'm glad it is."

"Ah'll be seein' you later okay?"

"Looking forward to it." She pulls away from your embrace and gives you a smile as she trots out the door and meets Twilight out in the hall. At first you just stand there, wondering what to do next, but your strong odor reminds you.

As you make your way to the bathroom, you can't help but smile and laugh to yourself. 'Well, after everything that's happened, I only have one thing to say..." You strip off your robe and turn on the shower, waiting for it to warm up. "How the fuck did this happen?"

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