Putting Quill to Parchment
Dear ~~Abbie~~ Abstract Brushstroke (Sorry, forgot that I had to be formal around you now)
Happy Hearth's Warming! It's such a wonderful time of year, isn't it? The snow on the ground, fillies and colts rushing about, wrapping up in your warmest scarf... the novelty wears off sharply, but for these few days we have before us, it's magical. Such a shame that I won't be spending it with you.
That's what I'm writing to you for. The content of this letter concerns our argument, if it can even be called that. Looking back upon it, it feels as though I were a filly screeching at her mother for the simple reason of not being able to stay up past her bedtime. Alas, if only it were that. Instead, it's two grown mares losing a close friendship. Over nothing. At least, it should have been nothing. Really, I'd just gotten a little panicked over something you'd said. Nothing was meant by it on your part, I know, but you know how it is with me, right? I get it into my head that something harmless is meant to, well, harm me. I acted so.. so.. there are no words to describe it, although at the time I'm sure you had a few! Hm, yes.
Anyhow.. I really can't apologize enough. I mean, you were asking something reasonable, yet I saw it as something directed at me and let my temper-short as it is- get the better of me. What a fool. I'm throwing everything I have at you, trying to make amends. Surely you must know by now how terrible I am with emotions? Goodness knows, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a close friend in anypony. Back to the matter at hoof, though. It wasn't even an argument, for Celestia's sake! I acted as though a filly would and it cost me something more dear to me than life itself. My friendship with you.
There's really nothing I can do now, is there? We're through. Done. Finished. You said it yourself, there's not a chance in Equestria of us being close any more. It's a shame really. After all, those silly conversations we had and the times you were there to comfort me dance around and replay in my mind constantly. You talked me out of doing some stupid things so many times, it must feel like second nature to you now, eh? It only hurts that there won't be more of those times, where we discussed being mages, or bears or deer..no, no those days are behind us.
Do you remember the time I first approached you, a shy, nervous little thing? I can't. For the life of me, I can try and try but I honestly can't remember. No matter, really, but whatever was said during that first encounter led to something grand, and by Luna's moon-printed flank I'm glad it did.
When we last spoke- and by this I mean really spoke- I said I had reasons to hate you. I'll tell you what they are, right here, right now. Do you want to know why I hated you? I hated you because you made me happy. I hated you because you said things that always made me smile. I hated you because you'd always perk me up no matter how sad I was. I hated you because your eyes are beautiful. I hated you because I needed you. I hated you because I just couldn't hate you. I hated you because I was falling in love with you and I knew you'd never love me in the same way. That's why. And yet, I could have dealt with this on my own, but instead, for a moments satisfaction I was ready to throw it all away. And I'm so, so sorry that I did.
Now, all I'm left with is memories and whimsical fantasies of you suddenly changing your mind and rushing back. Of you telling me you forgive me. Of you just calling me friend again. But, that'll never happen, and so here I am, a lonely old pegasus, sitting at her desk, watching the clock tick away the minutes she has left to write this letter before her train arrives. Here I am, humming along gently to a song that reminds me of you, imagining myself taking your painted hoof, spinning you around and dancing with you across the kitchen floor. Or ice skating with you. Or just simply being with you, under the stars so carefully placed into the sky by Princess Luna, enjoying one another's company. But that's all they are. Thoughts. Dreams. Hopes.
Again, I'm sorry. Goodness, that word isn't big enough for what I need to say. None of this letter is, but I'm bad with words. My paragraphs are short, but I hope they carry enough meaning to let you know that I care. I'd draw you something too, as they say a picture paints a thousand words, but I've always had a wobbly hoof. That's my problem, really. Hooves. Hooves that could really do with their fetlocks being trimmed, now that I look at them. You have a horn, see, that's why you got your cutie mark in art. I can still see it now, your horn lit up with that beautiful golden aura, a look of concentration on your face as you add final touches to your newest masterpiece. How's that business going, by the way? Hah, I don't know why I'm asking. After all, you won't reply. Anyhow, the clock just struck upon the hour, so my train'll be here. Perhaps I'll see you down in the capital. Then again, perhaps not. I'll end this here so you can get back to whatever it was you were doing, okay?
Forever yours,
Florentine
Author's Note
This is a genuine apology to someone, but I write better when channeling my 'inner pegasus', as it were.
I don't expect much to come of this, is I'm honest, but so long as the feelings are out there, I'm okay.
