Py Mittle Lony

by UniqueSKD

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Crossover
Length: 1074

Twilight Sparkle must defeat the evil Rainbow Dash once and for all in this final confrontation between the titans of the ancient BOOP BOP BEEP BING arts.

Dedicated to Just A Fabulous Cat. I don't even know who you are, but I liked your kitty avatar.

Inspired by the DragonBall P animations.

POPULAR SECTION - 28th December 2014 Sunday
Seriously, these places in the Popular section feel like pity handouts now. Don't stop serving me them.
- - - - - - - - - -
In the last episode of Py Mittle Lony...

Twilight Sparkle's friends Applejack and Shyflutter were about to face the might of the Queen of the Damned, Rainbow Dashingly Colorful, and now only Twilight Sparkle Carrot Cake can save them both and stop Rainbow Dasheta from ruining the intricate plot.

I only hope they don't hit each other too hard... (strokes his legs while smiling)

Published 2014-12-27 23:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-27 23:00:07 UTC

Py Mittle Lony

EQUESTRIA, SOME FIELD, 2 'O CLOCK.

Appleback glared dagger right at the maniacally laughing rain - oh wait, I started too early. Sorry. Rewind.

EQUESTRIA, SOME FIELD, 2 'O CLOCK.

Rainbow Dash stood before the two mares who she would soon be sending first-class to their graves. Applejack, and Flubbershy. The two mares themselves stood tall and firm, but their eyes gave away their poorly concealed fears and doubts as to whether they would survive this battle.

"Hah hah hah!", Rainbow Dash Micheal Myers laughed wickedly. "You mares are am no real warriors!"

Appleback glared dagger right at the maniacally laughing rainbow-haired madmare. "Ya'll think yer jus' the knees o' tha bee's that collect honey from flowers, don't ya?", she yelled as she pointed a hoof at the villain. "Well, we here might't be tough nough' ta beat yer plot to the sidewalk, but Twilight'll put you down in no -". Flutterguy watched in horror as Applejack suddenly was sent flying twenty feet away, Rainbow Dashing standing where her friend had been.

"FOOL!", roared Rainbow D a s h, baring her teeth and breathing heavily in anger. "No pony can save you now! Because now I am going to kill you!"

Fluttershy gasped in shock.

"And then I'm going to murder you!", Rainbow said with an evil grin.

Fluttershy coughed in fright.

"Until you are dead!", Rainbow Skittles whispered coldly.

Fluttershy sneezed with dread in her poor little heart.

"TODAY!", Rainbow Forward Dash finished with a massive grin that took up nearly her whole face.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fluttershy screamed happily. She flew backwards, and began to charge her Bunny Ball Bomb attack.

"And afterwards I will rape your dead bodies!", Rainbow Dasher Prancer Blitzen bellowed as she ran towards Flutterspy and slammed her hoof into her face, stamping the word 'PONED!' into the side of Flutterbye's as the poor mare soared across the battlefield and struck a tree head-first.

Rainbow Dash used her teleportation powers to quickly vanish, and reappear next to Fluttershy's surprisingly still-intact body. "When I am through with you, you'll become a stallion," the evil overlord of the sky said, her eyes becoming small black dots as she put a hoof on top of Fluttershy's hind leg.

The pain surged through Flutterbee like blood through veins, but she managed to withhold her cry of agony and stare at Rainbow Rainbow with intense cool. "A pony...who gets nailed...will soon get hammered too", she managed to grunt through gritted teeth.

Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed. "Rainbow Dash is not amused!", Rainbow Dash said with an expression that was not amused.

"But she makes an excellent point though, yo," a voice said loudly from behind the wicked cyan rule of the dark skies.

FlutterPsy, Rainbow Mash and Apple Bottom Jeans (who was still alive) turned their heads to the pony who said that. To the excitement of Fluttershy and Applejack, the voice belonged to no other than Captain Sparkle, otherwise known as Twilight Sparkle.

Applejack dematerialized and reformed herself onto her feet, not able to believe her own eyes. "Twilight! You came! Ah knew you would!", she squealed happily as she ran over to the purple unicorn, wrapping her hooves around her friend.

Twilight pulled a face of disgust. "Ew, faggot!", she exclaimed as she used her magic powers to gently throw Applejack fro her leg and hit the dirt face-first.

RaInBoW dAsH looked Twilight Sparky up and down, sizing her up as well as her...big...purple...plot...uuuuuuuh...lickity lickity lick lick...

Ahem. After observing her new challenger, Rainbow Wobniab laughed cruelly. "Foolish little unicorn!", she sneered. "You think you are is good fighter to against me face? I shall crush you like an ant!"

Twilight Sprinkle Sparkle glared at the laughing silly rainbow-maned pegasus, unphased by her Nazi grammar. "You'll see how strong I am, Rainbow. Because I am stronger than strong. I am the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria!"

Rainbow Rocks stopped laughing and looked at Twilight Zone with genuine interest now. "Really? You am strongest of unicorns, you say? Well, then this you will have to prove to me right here and now. Because we are going to fight now!" Rainbow flared out her wings, and she took to the sky. Twilight followed after her riding on her faithful baby dragon Spike.

"There is no escape from your imminent demise, Twilight Electron," Rainbow mocked folding her forelegs. "I am the most powerful pony in all the world. And now it is time for you to die!"

"Then I'll just have to kill you in ten seconds or less!", Twilight replied, smirking at the end of her sentence. "Uh, that's right I stole your catchphrase, I steal your thunder, bitch!"

Rainbow's eyes went wide with a mix look of surprise and fear. "NOOOOO! My best catchphrase!".

Twilight seized the opportunity to strike the enemy while her guard was down, and she flew towards Rainbow Dashless with such speed. Once she was close enough, she smacked the rainbow-haired pegasus around the back of the head with all of her might.

Rainbow Pride suddenly grasped her chest as a surge of pain shot through her very being. "GAAAAAAH!", she cried, as she suddenly began to fall back down to the earth.

Twilight Spandex levitated to the ground using her magic to support herself, landing next to the giant hole made in the dirt from Rainbow's fall. A cyan hoof grabbed hold of the edges and Rainbow Dash pulled herself up out of the hole, bleeding and missing a tooth. "Oh no!", she whimpered, "I am defeated by Twilight Ka-ka-ka-Cabbage!"

Rainbow's eyes glanced up, locking on with Twilight Sparkle's own, and she frowned. |"Y-y-you're a poopy head!"

"And you're a sandwich!", Twilight retorted. She then pointed towards the Everfree Forest. "Now get the fuck out of my town, and don't let me see you here again, or you're gonna be sorry!"

Rainbow Dash-chibi groaned as she began to drag herself along the floor towards the trees. "You may have won this encounter, Twilight Fleshlight, but I'll be back!". She quietly muttered under her breath, "Faggot."

Author's Note

Dedicated to Just A Fabulous Cat. In memory of his comment on my other awful story that I actually tried to write seriously and failed epicly.