Pinkie Divides by Zero

by Carpe Diem

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1021

Pinkie Divides by Zero

Pinkie Pie helps Twilight figure out a math problem, and it involves dividing by zero.

I came up with this idea in 5 seconds, you may hate it, you may think its downright stupid, or you may think its hilarious, ive seen a lot of silly fics that seem to grab a lot of attention, so i just decided to throw one out there.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-01 03:34:01 UTC

Pinkie Divides by Zero

"AAAGHHH!  This doesn't make sense!"

Twilight Sparkle, star pupil to the regal Princess Celestia, was always known for her intelligence and problem solving abilities.  She had spent many years in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns studying magic, arithmetic, thinking skills, and more.  She was always on time with all her work, she always received good grades on her report cards.  In the eyes of anypony who knows her, she is the perfect student.

After Celestia had sent her to Ponyville to watch over the Summer Sun Celebration, she had encountered five mares along the way.  Who would have guessed that those five mares would become the saviors of Equestria after the return of Nightmare Moon?  Twilight sure as hay didn't.  But it was a benefit.  If Celestia had never ordered her to watch over the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, she would have never met the greatest friends a mare could have.  After that day, Celestia assigned her star pupil to learn about the magic of friendship in Ponyville, to which she gladly accepted.

Though, she never stopped studying and doing other curricular work.  Here we find her now, practically pulling her mane out trying to solve an advanced arithmetic question.  It wasn't needed, she didn't do this because she had to.  She did it because she wanted to.  Unfortunately Twilight had OCD, she needed to complete this problem, or else she wouldn't sleep until it was solved.

She violently banged her hooves on her chalkboard were the problem was written on, "WHY.  CAN'T.  I.  GET.  THIS!"  She overlooked it one more time.  She did everything right, everything by the book, what was wrong!

"OOH!  Maybe I can help?"

Twilight jumped in the air at the sound of the voice.  Her head nearly hit the roof of her library home.  She fell to the floor, a pink hoof reached out to help get her back up.

"Pinkie!  I nearly had a heart attack!"  The lavender mare said between short breaths.

She chuckled, "Sorry Twilight, I just HAD to help you with your math problem!  Look at you, you're killing yourself over math!"

"Pinkie, I appreciate the offer, but I don't think you can--"

"OH!  I see your problem!"

"What?!"  She shot the pink earth pony a facial expression that was a mixture of shock and confusion.

"You forgot to divide by zero, silly Twilight!" She pat her lavender friend on the head.

Divide by zero?  Twilight fell over laughing at Pinkie's crazy antics.  "Pinkie, you can't divide by zero!  That's mathematically impossible."

She scoffed, "Sister, you're talking to the wrong pony about 'Impossible'.  Am I right, Author?"

The author nodded in agreement behind his computer screen.

"Anywho!  You see Twilight..." She grabbed the chalk that was sitting on Twilight's desk..."First you have to take the area, in square inches, of the sun, then multiply that by the adjacent angle of the hypotenuse of a oak tree.  After you get that, take that number and multiply it by the volume of the Ponyville lake, don't forget to carry the 2!.  Once the appropriate factor is acquired, then divide by zero.  You should get the this: 34x+(2034/r^2)-45pi, Which is equal to potato."  Pinkie slapped on her trademark smile.

Twilight stayed silent.  The amount of mind-blowing silliness that Pinkie uttered was just too much.  She didn't even know where to begin.  Should she say that Pinkie is wrong?  Should she say that Pinkie is just being Pinkie and shrug it off?  Before she could start on anything, Pinkie had called for Spike.  The baby dragon marched quickly to the living room of the library and stood at attention.  Pinkie handed a parchment of all the work she did and told Spike to send it to Celestia.

Twilight panicked, If her mentor saw the ridiculousness of Pinkie's 'math', she would probably laugh at her.  Or worse, send her back to magic kindergarten!  *Dramatic Flashback*

She snapped back to reality as she saw the a puff of green smoke escape through an open window and heading en route to Celestia's side.  Twilight ran up to Pinkie, "Pinkie!  What have you done?"

"I sent your work to the princess!  When she sees it she'll be so proud!  She'll think you're are super duper smarty pants, but wait you are already a super duper smarty pants.  Maybe she'll think your an even bigger super duper smarty pants!  Or--"

She was cut off by a tremendous rumbling sound, followed by the shaking of the ground.  The lavender unicorn ran out the front door of the library.  The sky was red and raining random items.  Couches, paint cans, bed sheets, you name it.  The ground turned multicolored with weird patterns of different shapes and styles.  It seemed as if a chess bored had been drawn onto the ground in front of the library.  Buildings were severed from their foundations and started levitated into the air, trees had caught on fire, and a tornado was summoned up out of nowhere.  Destruction and chaos reined throughout the world.  When she thought that all hope was lost, a flash of yellow light appeared behind her and out came the princess of Equestria.

She wore a dead-pan facial expression and spoke with a exasperated tone, "Pinkie divided by zero, right?"

Twilight nodded furiously.

The princess sighed, "Pinkie, would you come out here please."

The pony in questioned rushed to the princess's side, "Yes, princess?"

The sun goddess looked out over the chaotic world, "You had your fun, Pinkie, would you mind fixing the world now?"

"Sure thing!"  Pinkie jumped outside of an invisible fourth wall, she can see where she just was as if she was looking through a TV screen.  She grabbed the frame that surrounded the realm that the ponies resided in and trotted over to a washing machine that just so happened to be placed in a infinite void.  She tossed the frame into the washing machine and waited.

And waited...

And waited...

The washing machine made a dinging sound.  She grabbed the world-frame and ringed it dry, then placed it back in it's original position.  She jumped through the frame and returned to her world.  Twilight looked as if Applejack had bucked her in the jaw, twice.  Celestia simply thanked Pinkie and returned to Canterlot.

Twilight, having almost all of her sanity gone, barely made out the words, "Pinkie, how?"

The only response that was given was the only logical explanation to everything Pinkie does.

"Silly Twilight, I'm Pinkie Pie!"